/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1589222]

Hi /lit/
I know you don't particularly like these threads, but any feedback would be greatly appreciated and helpful.

I have to write a bildungsroman relating to war for some coursework, 2000 words, which is a ridiculous word limit considering the nature of the piece, I know.

I have a general outline in my head - a British pilot from WW2 is at death's door, still wrestling with inner demons which were conceived when he shot down a German plane in a battle. For catharsis, he visits a graveyard which is known to contain German soldiers who died during the war.

I'd really like to give this piece more scope, but the word limit is SO restrictive. Any feedback on this idea, or any different ideas would be extremely helpful.
Thanks

[Anonymous No.1589236]

Make it a German visiting the grave of a British pilot. I'd find that more interesting.

[Anonymous No.1589239]

The story itself sounds solid, and you can easily describe it in 2000 words. Just use as few events as possible - it can even be as simple as the pilot waking up, recalling his past, visiting the graveyard, and forgiving himself. The problem I see is portraying the pilot's mental state. Unless you can think of ways of visually showing what the pilot's thinking, you are going to be writing a lot of "he thought"s and "he remembered"s.

[Anonymous No.1589241]

>>1589239
Or write it in first person.

inb4 haters.

[Anonymous No.1589243]

>>1589239
I'm working on a short story of my own that would normally need for a lot of 'thought' and 'remembered's. Normally what I use is body language and the main character reflecting on the situation. Using thought and remembered are pretty basic ways of conveying emotion, but you can have just as much impact displaying the events and still set a mood and state of being for your character. Character actions say a lot for themselves and setting up the environment can be just as strong.

[Anonymous No.1589244]

>>1589236
Thanks, that'd would definitely make for a more morally interesting character.
>>1589239
Good point, I'll keep that in mind. I'm glad the idea itself seems solid enough.
>>1589241
It's possible, but I think I'll keep it in 3rd person omniscient. Whenever I write in 1st person it just ends up looking like I'm trying too hard to create a 'voice' for the character, comes off as clunky and looks like somebody's livejournal.

[3rownburs !!vDoyAwS25HD No.1589260]

The only issue I have here is that as a soldier we are trained to dehumanize the enemy and visiting the enemy's graveyard is softcore, plus the graveyard staff would staff would look at you like wtf

all this "emotional soldier" nonsense is just from hollywood and hipster books for civilians, no realism in them. IRL soldiers don't give a shit, the only trauma that comes from killing a man is the visceral experience, not the aftermath. a soldier who feels guilty about his deeds will replay the moment of the killing in his head and how horrible it was, but he won't think about the ripple effect of the enemies death. he certainly wouldn't visit the graveyard

[Anonymous No.1589262]

Bumping once to keep on the front page.

I'll upload the beginning in this thread in a few hours if anyone's interested, or willing to give criticism.

[Anonymous No.1589264]

>>1589260
How about after decades of the some concrete scene repeating itself over and over, maybe visiting the graves would make more sense?

[Anonymous No.1589269]

>>1589260
Didn't see this before I bumped.

I think the drafting process in Germany during WW2 would somewhat subvert the whole soldier training thing, as they used pretty much anyone they could find. Although, to be a pilot they would have had to have experience, so I guess I'll have to make him a footsoldier.
I agree with you somewhat on the visiting the grave thing, but I don't really have any other ideas of how I could dramatise the piece. An internal monologue of him dealing with the guilt wouldn't be as interesting or effective as him visiting the graveyard. Any ideas? Personally, I think him visiting the grave is viable, but you're obviously more experienced in the whole thing (I saw the thread you started on here a couple of days ago).

Thanks, though. Any input is appreciated.

[Anonymous No.1589430]

The British guy sees his wife at the cemetery, asks her why she's there.

She was the German pilot's wife

[Deep&Edgy !pSkjEcB9sQ!!MIZaZ3gTWFo No.1589433]

>>1589262
nice pic