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/lit/ - Literature

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15890085 No.15890085 [Reply] [Original]

>"Following which he [Wittgenstein] caused further controversy and scandal in the little village of Hassbach where he was undertaking his brief stint as a secondary school teacher when it came to light that he possessed a whole file cabinet full of charts and figures which monitored the status of the virginity of all his students, as well as calculating for the probability and date of their losing it. Those who had already done so had their names marked out with an enormous red 'x'. When confronted by several of the outraged parents and disconcerted board members, Wittgenstein was dismissive and even piqued at their incomprehension. "It's a simple science," he sighed to me later in private. "Basically, I had formulated a thesis that loss of virginity and the subsequent investment of energy in sexual concerns by young men at that most susceptible age will lead to a corresponding decrease in academic performance. The more lascivious the lad, the duller the student. So far my charts were tracking at a suitably rigorous rate to convince me such a correspondence does indeed exist." He smeared his sleeve across his mouth after downing the whole cup of coffee my wife had handed him in one go and finished off by muttering, "And I'd simply hoped to steer a few of the brighter young boys away from such lecherous fates." I was close to speechless by the oddity of my friend's endeavor, though I knew the futility of trying ask him what could have possibly instigated it in the first place. So instead I decided to humor the ever-inscrutible fellow and asked, "Well, what about the young girls? Does your data show if it affects their academic perfomance, too?" In reply to which he merely looked at me for a moment before keeling over in peels of contagious laughter." - Norman Malcolm, in Ludwig Wittgenstein: A Memoir (1966), p. 84

>> No.15890124

>>15890085
You should write a book

>> No.15890136

>>15890085
>"And I'd simply hoped to steer a few of the brighter young boys away from such lecherous fates."
By fucking them in the ass, probably. He wanted to keep them for himself lmao

>> No.15890142

>>15890085
How would he know?

>> No.15890233

>>15890085
Ah, yes. Wittgenstein and his escapades. He is the don Quixote of /lit/.

>> No.15890531

>>15890233
Wouldn't that be Don Quixote?

>> No.15891602

God tier thread