/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.15749528]

>carrying copy of King Lear
>order ice cream
>girl making it notices it and says that's her favorite play
>start talking, turns out she loves Shakespeare which surprised me because she looks in her teens but she's wearing a mask so hard to tell
>start coming by regularly, end up finding out she liked Plato
>she seems incredibly mature for her age but I'm 30 and don't say it to avoid sounding creepy
>find out later she is sixteen, big oof
>one day she asks if I have a gf
>actually do,one who is 35 and refused to go out with me all my life until recently and I think she is cheating on me
>just say yeah, I do
>she looks thoughtfully at me and says, are you both happy?
>say she doesn't make me very happy desu
>don't you think you deserve that?
>I don't know
>I do
>she looks into my eyes and we we're both silent for several seconds
>just want to tell her she is more mature than any woman I ever met and I could talk with her forever but just say thank you sincerely and her eyes show she's smiling
>month later she casually says her parents are going out of town and she is a little nervous about spending a couple of nights and if she could have my number to call in case of an emergency or something
>say sure and text it
>that night she texts me and says hi
>say hi back
>we chat a bit and she says she's bored but things are okay
>cool
>asks if I'm busy
>gf is out with friends
>no, not really
>asks if I could bring some interesting book over for her so to help pass the time
>ok
>she texts the address
>grab Finnegans wake because figure it would give us the most to talk about
>go over
>soft music playing
>hi
>Uh, brought this book, it's pretty complicated
>that's fine, I like complicated, did you want some coffee?
>sure
>she asks me how I like it and comes out with it
>we chat a little without looking at the book
>start feeling really uncomfortable and so I say better read a bit from the book
>this book?
>takes off the table
>uh, yeah
>she stands up and puts it behind her back
>what if I take it? Then what?
>stand up and tell her to stop being so childish
>Or what? Hm?
>she holds it behind her back and steps away from the table
>this is ridiculous, give me the book
>nope. I took it away. Are you going to do anything about it?
>get very annoyed and tell her I don't feel like arguing
>She smirks condescendingly, am I too tough for you? Not so big and strong now, are you?

Basically she continued to act stupider and stupider. My whole image of her as incredibly mature was shattered. I realized she was just pretending to be mature to get recognition

[Anonymous No.15749569]

>>15749528
should've heemed her unto the living death right then and there

[Anonymous No.15749575]

Go back to >>>/r/eddit faggot nobody's reading your le epic greentext

Also, did you fuck her?

[Anonymous No.15749580]

sounds like she was trying to be playful to make you happy and like her, doesn't matter anyway if she is 16 and you're 30. i wouldn't have even gone to her house

[Anonymous No.15749586]

>>15749528
Did you have sex?

[Anonymous No.15749590]

>>15749580
She was immature like all women under the surface. Extremely disappointing

[Anonymous No.15749595]

>>15749586
What, no

[Anonymous No.15749600]

>>15749595
Faggot. Why'd you even post this if you aren't fucking teen gussy.

[Anonymous No.15749613]

>>15749590
sounds more like she was flirting and wanted you to make a move but why would she do this when you're twice her age

[Anonymous No.15749621]

>>15749613
She was just being insipid, man

[Anonymous No.15749634]

>>15749528
You realize that's the equivalent of her opening her legs and stretching her pussy for you, right?

[Anonymous No.15749639]

>>15749621
I doubt very much OP's story is real, but if a girl is teasing you like that she's flirting. She REALLY wanted OP to make a move and created a situation where he would have to come into close physical contact with her in order to get the book back.

[Anonymous No.15749645]

Don't listen to the other people here, anon. This was an obvious sting operation and you were smart enough to not fall for it.

[Anonymous No.15749646]

>>15749634
Being a retard?

[Anonymous No.15749661]

>>15749528
OP she wanted the dick you fucking autismo.

[Anonymous No.15749668]

>tfw u just wanted to build brown bricks off the face of the ERSE but she kept derailing with cunny

[Anonymous No.15749673]

>>15749528
>She invites you over to her house
>You talk about fucking Finnegan's Wake
>She steals the book, clearly trying to tempt you to smash but you ignore it
Why don't you fucking marry Finnegan's Wake if you care about it more than pounding some USDA grade A ass.

[Anonymous No.15749678]

>>15749639
Regardless of the fact that the girl in OP's story was giving him an open invitation to fuck her, he shouldn't have even gone over to her house to begin with since she's underaged.

[Anonymous No.15749703]

>>15749528
OP go apologize and smash her you retard. She wanted you to reach for it and fall on her.
It astounds me how fucking autistic 4chan users are.

[Anonymous No.15749709]

these replies are so fucking reddit holy christ shit

[Anonymous No.15749710]

>>15749703
you realize he's my diary posting right?
he probably hasn't even wiped his ass in months

[Anonymous No.15749711]

>>15749673
Why would she try to seduce me by being extremely immature when she probably knew I valued her maturity? That doesn't make sense

[Anonymous No.15749715]

>>15749703
a girl once kissed me on the cheek and i assumed she did it to make fun of me

t. 22 khv

[Anonymous No.15749720]

>>15749703
Not everything is about sex, reddit

[Anonymous No.15749725]

>>15749613
Girls have the hots for older guys because for girls, being with a peer who is still building up his life is too much trouble.

[Anonymous No.15749731]

>>15749528
>He didn't take the option to enjoy prime pussy
You're a fagget OP

[Anonymous No.15749739]

>>15749725
yes i understand that, but he being twice her age should mean that he is a man that cannot act upon her advances and so she shouldn't bother to begin with

[Anonymous No.15749740]

>>15749528
If that was me I'd have a qt 16 year old gf. OP is a faggot, autismo and an incel.

[Anonymous No.15749793]

>>15749528
>Basically she continued to act stupider and stupider. My whole image of her as incredibly mature was shattered. I realized she was just pretending to be mature to get recognition
Misunderstanding what was happening this hard.
You failed the test.

[Anonymous No.15749794]

>>15749711
Because women don't seduce men by appealing to your intelligence. Women being smart doesn't make your dick hard and THEY'RE smart enough to know that. Intelligence in women is about attracting a long-term partner. It has nothing to do with wanting to fuck.

[Anonymous No.15749817]

>>15749793
Excuse me? She failed it

[Anonymous No.15749831]

OP this is you but with books

Also she wanted the dick retard

[Anonymous No.15749840]

Everyone: this is bait. Don’t respond.

[Anonymous No.15749882]

>>15749711
Keep away= excuse to initiate physical contact/ establish man’s physical dominance
No broad wants to talk about the allegory of the cave before making out, mature or not, especially a teenager you autist

[Anonymous No.15749894]

>>15749882
>Keep away= excuse to initiate physical contact

Do you even read what you type?

[Anonymous No.15749906]

>>15749894
I never read anything, why do you think I’m on /lit/?

[Anonymous No.15749910]

>>15749817
>Thinking you were right all along.
This is why your wife is cheating on you.

[Anonymous No.15749930]

>>15749910
My gf of a year

[Anonymous No.15749935]

thanks for the blogpost you tremendous fucking loser

[Anonymous No.15749945]

>>15749930
Describe how you initiate and have sex so we can have a laugh.

[Anonymous No.15749966]

>>15749945
I ask her if she would like to have sex. Pretty simple

[Anonymous No.15749977]

>>15749966
The man has double dubs, clearly he knows what he’s talking about.

[Anonymous No.15750027]

Fuck sakes op you deserve to be miserable your whole life long

[Anonymous No.15750048]

>>15749528
>overlong poorly written greentext story about OP being a fucking retard despite life handing him perfect opportunity on a platter
>a story that is. at the very least, highly exaggerated if not completely made-up
I mean this in all sincerity, kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.15750059]

Doesn't matter, OP. You are screwed on your head and probably in need of psychiatric help. Leave both these women and live a life according to the teachings of Evola.

[Anonymous No.15750088]

>>15749840
>Don’t respond.

[Anonymous No.15750099]

>didn't end with OP having sex with her then waking up with his wallet stolen and his cloths incinerated and the owners of the house coming home and turning out to have no relation to the girl
shame

[Anonymous No.15750713]

bait

[Anonymous No.15750728]

>>15749528
10/10 op i laffed

[Anonymous No.15750743]

>>15749528
It's almost like a child was acting childish.

[Anonymous No.15750747]

>>15749840
>>15750713
Have you dumbshits ever heard of a joke?

[Anonymous No.15750768]

>>15750747
Aren't they usually funny?

[Anonymous No.15750791]

>>15749528
What kind of utter faggot orders ice cream? Didn't read the rest of your post due to the sheer faggotry.

[Anonymous No.15750940]

No 30 year old says "big oof," that's clearly a zoomer exclusive term. Saged and hidden

[Anonymous No.15751060]

>>15749711
You do realise that people aren't monotonous "serious" things all the time, right? That you're not "immature" if you can act playfully and joke occasionally?

>>15749528
>>grab Finnegans wake because figure it would give us the most to talk about
at this point I just glazed over the rest of the text looking for the punchline

[Anonymous No.15751189]

>>15751060
>You do realise that people aren't monotonous "serious" things all the time, right? That you're not "immature" if you can act playfully and joke occasionally?
But that is false. One is either mature or they are not, and she failed to maintain a degree of composure whereas I didn't. Truly being mature is not an act that needs to be sustained or can be let down, and I was truly mature in that moment. She's the one who showed her true colors.

[Anonymous No.15751661]

>>15749528
damn, I thought it was funny. do people really still go into a greentext with an emotional investment hinging on whether the story is true?

[Anonymous No.15751678]

>>15751661
The OP probably became the surrogate for many of the lonely readers, which made the story rather frustrating

[Anonymous No.15751681]

>>15750768
no

[Anonymous No.15751685]

>>15749528
Best bait in a long time. Top kek. Nice one OP.

[Anonymous No.15751704]

>>15749678
Faggot

[Anonymous No.15751894]

OP, your post made me hetero again

[Anonymous No.15751925]

>>15749528
Should have ended
>Everybody on the floor
>Walk the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.15752007]

>>15750747
>>>r/jokes

[Anonymous No.15753152]

>>15749528
This is just pathetic.

[Anonymous No.15753366]

>>15750768
Not always, you're not

[Anonymous No.15753387]

>>15749595
You might be sexually attracted to men

[Anonymous No.15753406]

>>15749528
1. shit b8 but whatever
2. all women are children no matter what
3. wouldve been a better ending if you went full autismo and just shot her in the head

[Anonymous No.15753441]

>>15749528
OP you're the one who's stupid and immature

[Anonymous No.15753457]

>>15749528
no she was flirting and trying to get u to fuck her you autismo jesus christ. wait til she's 18 and plow her brains out

[Anonymous No.15753487]

>>15749528

Was waiting for "Why don't you take a seat over here".

[Anonymous No.15753597]

>>15749528
You got my hopes up with your story thinking it was true and then I read...
>grab Finnegans wake
and burst out laughing because I knew this had to be a troll and got my hopes even more up for a great punchline....

and then it ended with you being a boring autist. I'm as disappointed as she inevitably was.

[Anonymous No.15753608]

>>15749715
>a girl once kissed me on the cheek
>khv
well I thought I knew what khv stood for but I guess not

[Anonymous No.15753620]

>>15749528
op are you autistic serious question

[Anonymous No.15753799]

>>15749528
Lmao. I haven't seen one of your posts in a while. They're top tier. Missed you anon.

[Anonymous No.15754202]

>>15749966
>>15749977
checked

[Anonymous No.15754252]

It's a joke you retards

[Anonymous No.15754270]

Aside from how obviously fake this shit is, my main problem here is how fucking retardedly high your standard for maturity is. “No you can’t ever be silly or let loose not once ever in your whole life I don’t care if you’re 16 and act mature most of the time and are in the privacy of your own home with someone you feel close to, it’s immature all the same and ruins my image of you”. Having a stick up your ass 24/7 isn’t a sign of maturity. Honestly the girl sounds more mature than you because she doesn’t feel the need to put on airs all the time. Makes her more serious and intellectual side more authentic.

[Anonymous No.15754280]

great laff thx

[Anonymous No.15754286]

>>15749528
She's 16. Not sure what you expected.

[Anonymous No.15754321]

>>15749580
Yeah this. There's no getting around the fact that she's fucking 16. Shouldn't even be texting her in my opinion. The entire thing is deeply fucked.

[Anonymous No.15754431]

>>15749528
So you texted her your number ?

[Anonymous No.15754758]

Back when I was in high school I got my hair cut slightly shorter than I usually would one time, and a girl in one of my classes told me it made me look like James Blunt. To this day I’m certain it was an insult but all my family and friends insist she was flirting.

[Anonymous No.15754834]

>>15749528
King Lear is a bumbumbobobababumblebittlebatterboner

[Anonymous No.15754984]

Why do people bother replying to this with serious replies when it's the most obvious fake shit out there?

[Anonymous No.15755029]

>>15749575
wait, what? you can link to reddit? How, show me anon, teach me your superpower.

[Anonymous No.15755047]

Regardless of whether or not this is bait, this actually sucks. I feel for you dude. 16 year olds are hit or miss. That's why the line is usually drawn around there (or higher). Maturity at that age is a cultural thing and a social conditioning thing. Physically they're capable of intimacy but mentally, chances are unless they're well traveled, already work or have been working, and are better educated, they're usually dumb as shit.

Sorry it was so awkward for you. I wouldn't have even went to be honest. It just sounds sketchy by the way you described it. What happened after? People saying this thread is a copy pasta. Is there more to this story on Reddit? It's actually hilarious. I wanna see what the OP says happened after the fact.

[Anonymous No.15755081]

Some young horny atheist 16 year old girl pulling some shit like this makes me irritatingly horny

[Anonymous No.15755099]

>>15754270
This. Being completely serious 100% of the time isn’t a sign of maturity, it’s a sign of autism. And if a girl does that it’s because she wants to have sex with you, it’s not rocket science.

[Anonymous No.15755110]

thanks for the laugh, op. also it actually raises some good questions as how sexuality makes ppl dumb. my only concern is people who did not realize this was satire

[Anonymous No.15755111]

Yea OP stop obsessing about maturity and have sex with that child immediately

[What are your thoughts on Augu(...) No.15755162]

>>15749740
>If that was me I'd have a qt 16 year old gf. OP is a faggot, autismo and an incel

holy shit you're actually so retarded

[Anonymous No.15755171]

>>15755081
It wouldn’t even be sex it would be like beating up some kid with your cock

[Anonymous No.15755172]

>>15755110
Maybe the real autism was the friends we made along the way

[Anonymous No.15755179]

>>15749528
What did you fucking expect? I bet most pedos would stop ideolizing young girls if they had the chance to talk to them. Kids are fucking stupid, that's the lesson to learn.
Also pic related.

[Anonymous No.15755284]

Toasting in epic bread

[Anonymous No.15755302]

Imagine reading this post and unironically and genuinely believing its real. I feel for you virgin retards, i do. Back in my day bait had to be subtle to be effective. What a sick joke!

[Anonymous No.15755342]

>>15755284
NO

Too many simple carbs on this board

[Anonymous No.15755354]

>>15755342
do tuhus get diabetes?

[Anonymous No.15755361]

>>15749528
kek, my favourite poster on this board

[Anonymous No.15755511]

>>15749528
Ah yes, this really happened. I can testify to that, as unbeknownst to OP, I too witnessed the events of that evening.
>be me, cab driver
>pretty good day, nice warm weather, many guests
>best pay I had in a day for months desu
>happy but kind of worn out
>last guest of the day is this old guy in a black robe (wtf)
>can't see his face under the black hood
>his voice rattles as he tells me to drive him into the suburbs
>his breath is heavy and sounds really dry
>I can feel it on my shoulder like winter wind, it's almost icy and with time I am sure it will give me a cold
>after a while he tells me to stop
>parked in front of a big house with a neetly trimmed lawn, looking to the living room through big windows
>you see that girl? he rattles at me
>I do see the girl, she's standing opposite an older man, holding something behind her back, a book perhaps
>she is being flirty, the older man although visibly aroused seems uncomfortable and gets angry at her
>my passenger continues:
>she is my daughter, and her name is Spring. Our family is ancient, we have been here for long. I am old and frail, everything about me is dying and death. Stasis. She on the other hand - just look at her - is life itself. Her touch rejuvenates and even I owe my life to her, as do we all. From her everything is born anew and this is her time of year. Do you understand?
>I turn around to tell the man that I do, I do understand, but he is already gone
>where he sat there is only a patch of snow

[Anonymous No.15755530]

>>15755511

[Anonymous No.15755578]

>>15749528
Not bad, has just the right amount of celebral autism

[Anonymous No.15755914]

>>15749528
I sincerely hope that you learn from this series of bad decisions.

[Anonymous No.15756256]

>>15749528
Assuming this nonsense is true, and assuming you live in a civilized place where one can legally deflower 16 year-olds, you are just the saddest person ever. Also, stop reading literature and watch mass media until you're fucking smart enough to realize what it means when a teenage girl tells you her parents are out and invites you over. Let's get basic human social signals down before worrying about Joyce.

[Anonymous No.15756260]

>>15749528
eppik, see you on r/4chan

[Anonymous No.15756264]

>>15755511
Much better story than OP's.

[Anonymous No.15756276]

>>15756256
OP is Humbert Humbert, anons. The girl is probably some retarded teenager.

[Anonymous No.15756288]

>>15756276
Humbert at least knew when to seize the moment.

[Anonymous No.15756308]

>>15749528
>she was just pretending to be mature to get recognition

As all 16 year olds do, that's why you shouldn't try to date them Seinfeld

[Anonymous No.15756364]

>>15753608
kool handsome venetian

[Anonymous No.15756375]

>>15754758
maybe she was flirting by indicating that she thought you were be hip enough to catch that it's an insult

[Anonymous No.15756383]

>>15756288
Do you like the gift anon? Why/why not?

[Anonymous No.15756590]

>>15756383
I haven't read that one yet (I'm working my way through his early novels this summer), but I really enjoyed his first novel Mary last week (and The Eye, and The Enchanter, before that). It's short, snappy, with that playful Nabokovian wit, and very evocative of Russian émigrés living in Berlin in the 1920s. Of course it has the sleazy plans that come to naught (I'm finishing King, Queen, Knave right now, which has a similar "steal the woman" plot), but the moments of clarity and abandoning of memories of lost love is nicely handled.

[Anonymous No.15756760]

>>15749528
Imagine not being able to have sex with her without risking going to prison.

This is what their life is like in the "land of the free".

I try to pity the Americans, but it's their own fault.

A 16 yo is an adult.

[Anonymous No.15756791]

>>15756760
if they're adults why can't they vote or own slaves?

[Anonymous No.15756802]

>>15756760
Also, one of my biggest regrets is not having lost my virginity to a 25 yo green-eyed, big-brested woman when I was 12. She clearly wanted it, but I thought it was a "sin".

As a result, I grew up as a ridiculous virgin and only became a real man at 21yo.

Boys in America don't even have that chance.

[Anonymous No.15757062]

>>15753366
BAZINGA

[Anonymous No.15757077]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.15757131]

>>15756760
There's a lot of states where the age of consent is 16. But the laws around this topic are so convoluted or there's other laws that still make it essentially illegal so you can still be arrested for it even if some laws say it's legal. It's kind of like how Japan's national age of consent is 13 but most (or all) parts of the country have their own laws making that not the case in practice.

[Anonymous No.15757633]

>>15749646
Yes you autist holy shit girls don't invite you to their house to read finnegans wake. She already was playing music you dumbass. If she was any more explicit she'd have to be screaming 'fuck me in the butt now anon.' Fucking hell dude, she was flirting with you

[Anonymous No.15757652]

>>15757633
>in the butt
gross and gay

[Anonymous No.15757760]

Lol i always forget that in anglo countries being with a minor is that big of a deal. Wake up: the best girls are between 14 and 22, after that women hit the wall

[Anonymous No.15758173]

>>15757633
I am not sure what you are implying. Should I have brought a different book?

[Anonymous No.15758337]

>>15749528
>/lit/

[Anonymous No.15758362]

nigga wtf that's how women especially teenagers act flirty

[Anonymous No.15758430]

>>15749528
WHY DIDNT YOU FUCKING HOLD HER DOWN AND FUCK HER YOU MASSIVE FUCKING FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.15758470]

>>15749528
Oddly good read

[Anonymous No.15758511]

OP is a tard and not someone who should read complicated things if he seriously couldn't tell she was trying to get laid, but he more or less got the point by the end anyways. This is a kid trying to feel smart by making their own attempt at guessing some dweeb's fantasy. Look at how horny you all are for that book girl pussy when anon greentexted NONE of the "intelligent discussion" you would love to finally find in a lady; like her, you only have a hardon for the label. It is not that she is a sixteem year old adult but that you, despite being an adult, are still sixteen. Consider why she never asked for sex directly.

[Anonymous No.15758927]

>>15758511
You've never taken a teen girl's virginity, have you anon? Nobody is suggesting this girl was his future wife or needed all the qualities that would make a perfect life partner. She was young, nubile, apparently attractive and horny, and offering a wonderful erotic life experience to OP. It's just sad that he was too weak-willed and nervous to take advantage of it, and instead has to justify his cowardice by pretending he had only an intellectual interest in her, or somehow missed her intent. Ah well, it's all fiction anyway.

[Anonymous No.15759383]

Even if she was eighteen she would be wayyyyy younger than him. No one sees a problem with that? Seriously? And literally no one sees a problem with cheating on your gf because she "might" be cheating?

Everything I heard about this place was true

[Anonymous No.15759389]

>>15759383
0/8

[Anonymous No.15759424]

>passing up prime puss for rotten fantasy taint
Nice bait retard

[Anonymous No.15759477]

>>15759383
>Even if she was eighteen she would be wayyyyy younger than him. No one sees a problem with that? Seriously? And literally no one sees a problem with cheating on your gf because she "might" be cheating?
>Everything I heard about this place was true

[Anonymous No.15759487]

>>15759383
>>15759477
samefag, no one bites bait this shitty

[Anonymous No.15759639]

>>15751189
wrong. Someone hasn't red Moby Dick, Ahab has the same monotonous same tone throughout and he is literally insane. being 100% "mature" i.e autistically serious is a mental illness.

[Anonymous No.15759970]

>>15749528
Forwarded to the FBI.

[Anonymous No.15759999]

>people respond seriously
/lit/ is without a doubt the dumbest board on this website

[Anonymous No.15760056]

>>15749528
she wanted you to fuck her you fag

[Anonymous No.15760138]

>>15749894
I know this is /lit/ and most posters here have never seen a w*man but keep away game is the oldest trick in the book when they want you to initiate, they take some of yours and keep it from you until you try to take it back, thus creating physical contact

[Anonymous No.15760169]

Lightly smirking, OP stood up from the 16 year old's disorganised sofabed, creating the movement of a wave with his fingers to clear the fog cluttering his head. Then he fucked her senseless

[Anonymous No.15761229]

>>15759383
No, not at all. You do?

[Anonymous No.15761257]

>>15749528
I'm reporting this post to the FBI. Right now they are tracking your ip and adding you to their watchlist. You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.15761331]

>>15749678
>since she's underaged.
And?

[Anonymous No.15761922]

>>15758511
>she is a sixteem year old
>sixteem
And just like that, you're whole argument became but ash out the chimney and into the wind. SAD!

[Anonymous No.15762216]

>>15749528
Pretty good, I like the way the hero destroys his own chance for joy in the traditional manner but the joy he is aiming for is an immoral one, good subverion. Now you just need to flesh it out into a full story. Good chance to practice style.

[Anonymous No.15762395]

>>15756590
So you're reading King, Queen, Knave now? I just passed up a perfect copy at the used bookstore, but will be back. Convince me to nab it.

[Anonymous No.15762416]

>>15759383
It's incredible how readily you p;aced the blame on him, when he's the one that walked away and she's the one who set the whole thing in motion and fostered it's growth up to that point of "getting real" (and if it wasn't with OP, it's the next guy).

[Anonymous No.15762424]

>>15751189
My head says OP is just a grandmaster at trolling, but my heart wants to believe that there really is someone this autistic out there in the world, and that he accidentally seduced a sixteen year old girl with Plato.

[Anonymous No.15762431]

>>15762395
What I should have said was: would you recommend this as an entry point to Nabokov? I'm interested in him in general, but possibly not his entire oeuvre. Should I pass on this in favor of his more familiar titles?

[Anonymous No.15762433]

>>15762424
>he seduced her
Yeah, uh... I mean yeah, that's what I read too, heh heh *rubs back of neck*

[Anonymous No.15762448]

>>15754984
It’s kind of fascinating, like the one anon said, the >Finnegan’s Wake
should be a dead give away. But the rambling on with no apparent punch line makes it seem genuinely autistic. Like an autistic person who doesn’t know they’re autistic, trolling his online friends into thinking he’s autistic.
Besides, that one sliver of hope that it’s true makes the whole thing genuinely funny.

[Anonymous No.15762473]

>>15754984
Congrats, you're not a midwit. That's either the most clever post I've seen since last Thursday, or the least aware I've seen, ever.

[Anonymous No.15762505]

>>15762433
You know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.15762526]

>>15762505
Isn't every love movie made for a young male demo based on this trope, though?
>Attractive girl showers love on me and I just don't even notice it happening, but just when she reaches her breaking point with my naivety, I snap into reality and manage to salvage it.

[Anonymous No.15763649]

>>15749528
you deserve your 35 year old whore fucking retard

[Anonymous No.15763669]

>tfw when you've gone from pretending to get laid to pretending to miss opportunities to get laid

[Anonymous No.15763799]

>>15755511
brilliant post anon

[Anonymous No.15763807]

>>15749634
But that kind of carnal lust for fornication is incompatible with Plato's philosophy of love.

[Anonymous No.15763941]

>>15749634
>>15757633
Came here to say this. OP, she wanted you to manhandle her for the book. She wanted you to attempt forcibly to wrest the book from her precocious little hands.

[Anonymous No.15763954]

Why do you people respond to this as if it actually happened? So far we have OP'S story and one (kind of sketchy) eye witness report. This is likely a fake story.

[Anonymous No.15763956]

>>15763954
Are you suggesting we dig deeper?

[Anonymous No.15763998]

>>15763807
bro...

[Anonymous No.15764195]

>>15750791
Who orders it enough to build a relationship with the counter girl? Also, the post is bullshit.

[Anonymous No.15764409]

>>15749528
of all the fake green texts i've read, and boy believe me that i read many, that was by far the most touching. the story is so tragic, the narrator so willfully ignorant of what's going around him, the girl so misguided in having believed that anon would pick up on her cues. i know she is made up, but still i feel sad thinking about her horny and alone as anon spegs out. bravo, anon, bravo.
>if real: god help you anon, you should have broken her pelvis in two

[Anonymous No.15764561]

>>15762431
Hard to say. I finished it last night, and it's a fun read, but certainly his novels get more ambitious and skillful as he goes on (and of course starts writing in English in 1941 with The Real Life of Sebastian Knight). If you haven't read his novels, the Russian ones are definitely secondary. Start with Lolita, then Pnin, Ada, and Pale Fire if you're into him. Those are his most important works, and he was at the top of his game. I don't know any bad Nabokov, though.

[Anonymous No.15764844]

>>15749528
This nigga’s Myshkin

[Anonymous No.15764886]

>>15763954
Why would OP lie? That would surely go against his Platonic ideals!

[Anonymous No.15764899]

>>15764886
!

[Anonymous No.15764921]

>>15749580
Yes maturity tends to lend itself to the deeper emotional Inteligences than it does the intellectual ones.

[Anonymous No.15765251]

This is the most beautiful bait I’ve read, the complete lack of a punchline is deeply affecting. A lot to think about.
>>15764844
Since when was Myshkin imperceptive and bitter?

[Anonymous No.15765364]

>>15749528
I can't tell if everyone took the bait, or if they're pretending to take the bait to bait people like me.

[Anonymous No.15765403]

>>15751060
>You do realise that people aren't monotonous "serious" things all the time, right? That you're not "immature" if you can act playfully and joke occasionally
Yup, my coworkers were dumbfounded once I made a joke. "Oh anon, I didn't know you like jokes too." Me telling a joke was apparently something everyone to talk about in the breakroom for a day. The thing is I tell jokes all the time, they just usually go over peoples head and I can't be bothered to tell them, because explaining the joke ruins it.

[Anonymous No.15765890]

>>15764561
Danke Schon

[Anonymous No.15766786]

>>15755511
kek 10/10

[Anonymous No.15767937]

>>15749528
I thought for sure this was going to be a "prettier and less slutty" post but I haven't been here in years and maybe that's all over now. If so, that would be a damn shame.

[Anonymous No.15768110]

>>15749528
It's just as my Grandpappy used to say back on the farm, "Old enough to run the ice cream scooper, old enough to take a dong in the pooper." People made fun of him, but he had a lot of folksy wisdom to offer.

[Anonymous No.15768149]

>>15749966
>>15749977
Double double dubs

[Anonymous No.15768175]

She was flirting retard, you can lower your guard of pseudointellect sometimes.