/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.15690974]

What’s troubling you?

[Anonymous No.15690980]

>>15690974
My inability to focus

[Anonymous No.15690988]

>>15690974
My addiction to discourse and viral information in general

[Anonymous No.15690997]

anti-white hysterics

[Anonymous No.15691013]

>>15690988
Agreed

[Anonymous No.15691019]

Capitalism

[Anonymous No.15691036]

lower back pain

[Anonymous No.15691043]

>>15690974
my virginity

[Anonymous No.15691053]

my diary desu

[Anonymous No.15691054]

>>15690974
this

[Anonymous No.15691056]

>>15690974
My boss got sick/a burn-out so now i have to take over all his responsibilities despite having worked there for about 2 months and it fucking sucks but it's going okay and I'm getting some minions soon.

[Anonymous No.15691070]

i dont have a job anymore and can't find a new one cause of rona

[Anonymous No.15691086]

>>15691056
>>15691070
If I ever have to get a real job I'm fucked, I've spent so long as an eterniNEET at my fake job that the idea of actually working is like hearing stories about getting fucked in the ass to me

[Anonymous No.15691087]

The fact that I have to work on my college graduation paper but I cant for the life of me do it.
My constant struggle with my low attention spam that hampers my ability to learn, making it a struggle to even try to learn a language.
My fear of not acomplishing my dream of becoming a diplomat, something that is very well within the realm of possibility if i could just dedicate myself properly.
I fear that I'm a failure.

[Anonymous No.15691109]

I hate niggers

[Anonymous No.15691115]

I have a bad case of depersonalisation. I had it before a few years ago and got over it but this time it is really persistent so it's a bit depressing. You just have to let it be there and eventually it goes away but whilst it is there every waking second is hellish.

[Anonymous No.15691133]

>>15691109
For all the 4chan ironic racism, I try really hard not to be an actual racist, but they're making it harder and harder lately. At the very least I never want to live around them again.

[Anonymous No.15691150]

>>15691115
I've had it for seven years anon

[Anonymous No.15691151]

>>15690974
I thought that was a sneed cat

[Anonymous No.15691162]

>>15691086
That's because it often is, if you're wise you'll get into a comfy field and just monkey branch as much as possible.

[Anonymous No.15691197]

>>15691150
I'm sorry to hear that. I've recovered from it before so I know it's recoverable, it just takes time. Is yours anxiety or depression based? With the anxiety version you literally have to just accept all the awful feelings and eventually it doesn't bother you and it goes away. Could take a month, could take six months but it does end eventually.

[Anonymous No.15691221]

>>15691115
i'm sorry to hear that, anon. i've been there before and i don't feel like i've fully returned to the world yet. i hope this passes soon. feeling like a perpetual observer is such a uniquely shitty experience.

[Anonymous No.15691246]

I grew up in a cult and recently left. Now I'm completely isolated socially and don't have any sort of positive real life relationships. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and really bad body dysmorphia.

I think about killing myself a lot.

At least I'm 9dwys sober now

[Anonymous No.15691250]

>>15691221
It does get better, I recovered before - so that's keeping me going as shit as I feel. It's just the uncertainty about when you can get back to enjoying things again and feeling actual emotions and thinking normal thoughts. Hopefully in the next couple of months. I feel better than a month ago, at least.

[Anonymous No.15691252]

>>15691197
Anxiety based mostly I would say. It's getting better after having talked to a psychiatrist though, in the last six months I've had some moments when I was fully aware. What's difficult about accepting is that you also have to accept the causes of the problem, not just the problem itself, and for a long while the causes were unknown to me

[Anonymous No.15691258]

Ive been thinking about this for a bit:
If the universe didn't exist as it is right now, the universe wouldn't have existed as it did before now.

I cant tell if this is true, false, or something else entirely

[Anonymous No.15691264]

>>15690974
I haven't gotten laid since November.

[Anonymous No.15691267]

>>15691264
Same, crazy how long ago Nov 2011 was

[Anonymous No.15691274]

>>15691221
>>15691252
have you tried meditating? self inquiry? im not saying it would work at all, just asking if you have, and if yes what the experience is like

[Anonymous No.15691290]

>>15691274
I used to meditate every day, not anymore though

[Anonymous No.15691304]

>>15691290
did it help? did it differ from the experience you had when you didnt have denationalisation?

[Anonymous No.15691311]

I am haunted by the fear of suddenly and without notice losing the ability to decipher texts and be rendered an illiterate retard that will eventually be locked away with his own thoughts and unable to understand or communicate with others at all. Does anyone else experience something similar, or am I just crazy?

[Anonymous No.15691324]

>>15691274
i have read a lot of self-help/mindfulness literature to try and unpack this for myself, and i use reading as a meditative activity. yoga is nice for stretching and working out but i could never tap into the meditative stillness thing. i like to be absorbed into my work, and i am very fidgety and active. having my mind fully occupied by whatever text/problem/set of data is in front of me and then fitting whatever it is into the larger context of things i have already read is nearly out-of-body, like in that moment i am some kind of processor and i am working towards some higher goal and my understanding/will-to-understand is a viable power source. i have worked in mental health before and i know that this doesn't work for everyone and that traditional meditation has value etc etc (and basic mindfulness exercises do help me stave off panic attacks) but this is the closest i have come to feeling like i have a place in the world. i think the source of this is some sort of complex childhood trauma.

[Anonymous No.15691335]

>>15691252
Well to a certain extent the original cause doesn't matter. If it is persistent then it is at its base anxiety about a symptom of anxiety. A kind of meta-anxiety. It's fucking awful but it's perfectly harmless. In the same way that if someone had a panic attack from sitting on sofas you wouldn't say to them 'never sit on sofas again', you would say 'sit on the sofa and have the panic attack and eventually they'll stop'. You need to think of it as a kind of haze of anxiety rather than something deep routed. Just go about you life being fully concious of it and not avoiding it and then, very slowly, it gets more manageable until it goes away. That's how I recovered last time and how I'm recovering now. It just takes time.

[Anonymous No.15691364]

>>15691304
Not really, but it's a good experience anyway

[Anonymous No.15691396]

>>15691311
I already cant express myself properly because of autism and chronic fatigue.

[Anonymous No.15691457]

>>15691396
I am terribly sorry to hear that. What's the cause for your fatigue? Are you unable to get enough sleep?

[Anonymous No.15691477]

>>15691335
Finding the roots mattered for me in the sense that I no longer saw it as some mysterious phenomena, but, as you put it, harmless. I agree that the persistence of it is due to anxiety caused by the symptom itself, but I guess I forgot about this in the last few months after I started getting better. It's not gonna go away by itself even if you see it clearly, I think you have too keep the clear picture for a long enough while.

[Anonymous No.15691480]

I can’t stop reading my own handwriting

[Anonymous No.15691501]

>>15691457
Idk what it is. No i get enough sleep.
Its terrible to be in class at 10:00 in the morning and be totally exhausted already, trying to survive on autopilot.

[Anonymous No.15691523]

A mouse got into my engine when I wasn’t driving it during Covid and fucked over my entire car. A car I had to buy from my grandfathers estate because one of my rich uncles wanted to give it to his spoiled daughter. Fuck boomers

[Anonymous No.15691561]

>>15691501
Have you consulted a doctor? They might be able to help you. You might be suffering of apnea, a disease that causes you to cut off your breathing in your sleep, forcing you in and out of wakefulness to restart your regular breathing, with the result of leaving you exhausted by next morning. That can be fixed and I've heard of people who, once they started using a respirator in their sleep, had their lives changed for the better.

[Anonymous No.15691890]

>>1569113
Do tell more.

[Anonymous No.15691932]

that i'm nearly 30, single, making <60k a year doing unenjoyable work, getting older and fatter and less virile
but really, mostly, that i'm incredibly mediocre at literally everything i have tried in my life, virtually everything; i excel at nothing and i'm only getting older and i will slowly burn out. it's been underway for years, but it's incredibly apparent each time i reflect for even a moment.
i wish i could kill myself, but it would hurt my family.
fuck this gay earth.

[Anonymous No.15691984]

Not much, mane. I'm the opposite of the guy above me, I'm almost 30 and I only get wiser and more skilled as I age. Cultivate your garden, bros. Start early, feel no shame, you won't regret it.

[Anonymous No.15692047]

>>15691932
pick a very specific domain and work on it for a whole year non stop, just work on it

[Anonymous No.15692781]

>>15690974
I've been LARPing as a /lit/ hoe on twitter and the fact that its consumed my life makes me question my sexuality.

[Anonymous No.15693124]

>>15690974
>Moms dying of cancer
>now has a blood infection (sepsis)
>high chance this will kill her
>massive backlog at work, me and 1 other coworker are getting blamed for it despite it not being our fault
>every day I feel that in less able to connect with people around me, I feel more lonely
everything feels increasingly meaningless and I wish I had never been alive in the first place. I did start to get into Houellebecq who is funny and I’m making progress reading Deleuze and Guattari which is something to do.

[Anonymous No.15693131]

>>15693124
Please be strong for your mom, sometimes it helps to know you're not being strong for yourself or in some abstract sense but for someone you love

[Anonymous No.15693170]

>>15693131
Thanks for responding, I make an effort to be strong, but watching someone who loves me that much fade away is hard. She really wanted to go on a trip to Spain with me, but due to covid we’ve had to stay quarantined for too long. It’s now impossible.

[Anonymous No.15693175]

niggers, atm

[Anonymous No.15693929]

my impulse to coom

[Anonymous No.15693950]

>>15691133
See, you’re judging a whole subsection of people as all one way. This is some basic mental failure the racist makes. The next failure is the inability to see why people behave the way they do.
Then there’s propaganda. Peers telling you what to think, skewing the truth. Just goddamn think on your own, anon. T H I N K

[Anonymous No.15693970]

>>15690974
I'm in classes and can't go anywhere because of quarantine, except for occasional walks. This wouldn't bother me too much other than the usual existential dread except that I've got a cyst right under my tailbone which I thought had finally completely drained but actually hasn't, and has gotten kind of inflamed. Luckily it''s at a spot I only sit on when a slouch so really it's just improving my posture, but it fucking hurts if I sit on it by accident.

[Anonymous No.15694213]

>>15690974
I'm a member of a labor union and I regularly attend meetings of one of our committees which has the purpose of engaging our younger members and younger members of our trade, organized or otherwise. Everything was going fine but the recent race riots in the US have emboldened the chairmen of our committee to go full blown psycho SJW. I am shocked at how little it took to get him to start flipping out on facebook all day. CNN, Washington Post and other outlets dangled race riots in front of his face like car keys in front of an infant and now he spends most of the day posting BLM bullshit on facebook (he's being paid to stay home by his employer). Obviously the police as an institution has bad apples which act unjustly, but it's such a minor issue and more importantly has FUCKING NOTHING TO DO WITH LABOR! It is a distraction from the way that international finance and globalism is actually used to institutionally enslave billions of people through clever means like debt and currency manipulation.

What is so remarkable to me is just like Occupy Wall Street, any popular movement to oppose actual institutional injustice and, in my opinion, economic crimes against humanity and decency, is instantly subverted into racial resentment and jealousy and then the foot soldiers of capital stand shoulder to shoulder with Bank of America and Amazon and the rest of the most powerful institutions of capital to declare how they are radicals against the Powers that Be. And it's so obvious. And they are so zealous and far removed from having any kind of rational conversation about it I don't even want to be engaged. It's like that faggot state senator of Minnesota Tim Carpenter who got his ass kicked by fat antifa bitches despite the fact that he's "one of them" - a white racial masochist and literal sodomite. http://twitter.com/TimCarpenterMKE/status/1275716467007328258

These SJWs rail against social taboos and retroactively apply modern social conventions - which they only fight to uphold because the very institutions they "oppose" told them to - and never for a second think that they will eventually be the target. How long before it turns out they accidentally did a racism five years ago and it's their turn to be taken behind the wood shed?

What's troubling me? I don't want to be dragged into this race riots and racial resentment and I'm afraid they won't give me to the option of not participating. Luckily these types have no capacity for guile and just blurt out whatever they read on Vice or Huffpo earlier that day. All I can do is keep my head down, file away dirt on these retards and wait for them to hang themselves.

God damn, I just want support labor. Our union is mostly white and hispanic, with some blacks and a minority of those blacks who are basically retarded but can't be dumped because that's racist. Getting involved in the ongoing race riots doesn't benefit labor in any way. It's barely popular among our actual members.

[Anonymous No.15694246]

>>15693950
>See, you’re judging a whole subsection of people as all one way
If you actually talk to real "racists" you'd realize basically nobody really thinks this way. Effectively nobody thinks that literally every black person is a criminal ape. The problem is that enough of them are that is simply isn't worth the time and effort to sort through them for the good ones. I do wonder why you bring up the question of why people behave the way they do. Are you making generalizations here? Why DO people behave the way they do? Can you prove it? How would you prove it? Is it knowable at all? Regarding propaganda: what would you say to someone who did think on their own and came to conclusions which differed from yours. Who is the one who was merely "propagandized" to think in one way and who actually thought it through?

How often do you actually talk to and have conversations with people who are in your view "racists"?

[Anonymous No.15694257]

>>15691246
Which cult? Can you describe it if you'd rather not name it? How did you realize you were in a cult? Was it a slow process? How did you escape?

[Anonymous No.15694258]

i am a coward and i dont know how to fix this

[Anonymous No.15694281]

tryna suck some dick on grindr but everyone is a coward (including me)

[Anonymous No.15694287]

a concerning lack of capitalism in my life.

[Anonymous No.15694288]

>>15694281
Dude, i cant even rp online without getting embarised, I dont even know how i could do that.

[Anonymous No.15694312]

>>15691523
That's fucking shitty dude. I assume insurance doesn't want to cover it?

[Anonymous No.15694316]

>>15690974
I feel like a complete failure and have wasted the past 5 years of my life

[Anonymous No.15694328]

>>15691932
How did you end up in the job you're doing?

[Anonymous No.15694337]

>>15694288
I don't see how people are able to live text chat ERP either. I just couldn't do it, knowing that the person I'm chatting with is a dude. And especially how obnoxious most ERPers are, adding tildes constantly and having no sense of subtlety whatsoever.

[Anonymous No.15694407]

>>15693124
i don't have anything insightful to say except that life is very painful. it's OK to feel down or depressed in many circumstances. but somewhere in the future just believe there's a sliver of light guiding you through it. also your mom loves you and it sounds like you love your mom. so you are doing what you can.

[Anonymous No.15694463]

>>15690974
I'm so sorry you had to find out this way but you are a huge fucking dork and you need to know it. I know you must have been like your niece when you were younger. That is the truth.

[Anonymous No.15694502]

Why the fuck do you care so much about Sesame Street and Muppets anyway? You were like high school age and 20s when that garbage came out.

[Anonymous No.15694527]

being afraid of my work being transformed or altered when publishing. besides spelling and grammar correction, of course

that is if i ever get to finishing it. I'm on chapter 2 now

[Anonymous No.15694551]

>>15694246
>If you actually talk to real "racists"
And there’s your problem. I’m talking about racists. Not “racists”.
Are you under the impression there’s no such thing? (Trump isn’t racist! He behaves like one! It’s an act!)
> simply isn't worth the time and effort to sort through them for the good ones.
And here’s the inability to see just why there’s a high crime rate in ghettoized neighborhoods
> Can you prove it?
That poverty begets crime? It’s one of those facts.
As for propaganda, I see a variety of it in light of these cop riots. Everyone’s agendas are skewing the facts. But you don’t seem emotionally ready for that right now, Mr. Partial Racist

[Anonymous No.15694565]

>>15694551
>poverty begets crime
How would this be shown to be more than merely a just-so story? For example, if you took the median income of an area in one part of the United States and then found another part of the US with the same median income, they should have roughly the same crime rates, no matter the demographics, correct? Is that what you mean by "poverty begets crime"? Would you also suggest then that wealth would reduce crime? So the wealthiest classes should be the least disposed to crime? I.e. Jeff Bezos and George Soros and the Koch brothers and Donald Trump should all be generally trustworthy and law abiding?

[Anonymous No.15694618]

The problems of epistemology haunt me like a phantom. I can't rationally justify certainty about anything beyond a point. What's worse is that this has not really changed my way of living and my behavior besides becoming more curious and more patient with other people. Even though I would be at a loss for words if someone asked me "what is the right way to live?", I continue to live and be guided by some vague principles of honesty, compassion, "loving-kindness" I suppose, duty, punctuality... but I couldn't explain what motivated me to do that or why I believe I should do it beyond a feeling, which I have no idea is above or below reason and rationality.

[Anonymous No.15694860]

I feel insignificant at my job. Completely pointless and I feel like my minor transgressions and reclusiveness have only made myself more pathetic.

[Anonymous No.15695058]

>>15691311
Just learn some poetry by heart and you'll be fine. Or learn to play blind chess in your head against yourself like in that Chess Novella

[Anonymous No.15695075]

>>15690974
no job, no gf, no future, no friends, aging, poor and alone with nothing but regrets in my life

[Anonymous No.15695102]

The existence of an elite cabal of bastards who manipulate humanity in various twisted ways for their own ends. Whether it's for power or amusement, I'm not sure. Probably both. But worse still is that mankind is willingly marching along with their tune. A greedy maw waiting beyond the cliff's edge.

[Anonymous No.15695109]

>>15694565
Look at you. Trying so hard to show there’s a genetics issue. You want to say they’re animals, or you’ve said or thought it before. I can imagine you huffing and beating your chest as you say these things.

[Anonymous No.15695141]

When do I know to do something meaningful? How do I know it?
I live my life on repeat. When do I break the cycle? Should I be waiting for something? Should I be looking for something?

[Anonymous No.15695154]

>>15691054
omg. please post the section

[Anonymous No.15695175]

i want to feel wanted, bros. my family is shit.

[Anonymous No.15695525]

>>15690974
I don't know if I should take action or not and keep thinking about theory

[Anonymous No.15695538]

>>15690974
Tao Lin lucid dreams into my slumber

[Anonymous No.15695589]

>>15694316
Welcome to the party , grab a drink find a cope, its gonna be a long ride

[Anonymous No.15695600]

>>15694316
this but the past 8 years

>>15695589
cheers

[Anonymous No.15695601]

>>15695075
You-me
Blood brothers

[Anonymous No.15695634]

>>15695601
>cuts open palm
>cuts your palm
>shakes hands
blood brothers

[Anonymous No.15695679]

i Inherited a bunch of money recently and now i don't have the drive to do anything.

[Anonymous No.15695695]

Pain

[Anonymous No.15695735]

I am so sorry for taking my aggression out on any of you but that entire family just fills me with so much rage. They are so obnoxious and dorky and so clueless about it and just being reminded of them works me up. I should try to hold my anger in place and maybe get pills or something. Holy hell though, I do not like Jame Gumb or fatty or any of them. I wish I could erase them from my mind.

[Anonymous No.15695757]

No one deserves to be picked on but there comes a point where you must understand not everyone will appreciate your hospitality. That is maybe the kindest way to put it.

[Anonymous No.15695806]

>>15690974
I am beginning to feel more and more sociopathic everyday. I dont believe in an afterlife and believe life is truly survival of the fittest. I am going to begin puting myself first starting with my health and fitness, and then aim for financial freedom. I dont care anymore about stepping on others to further my own interests. I used to be an empath, much to own detriment, but the past year, along with personal betrayals have changed me.

[Anonymous No.15695837]

>>15695806

[Anonymous No.15695854]

I cannot stand this world. It is wicked, evil, nihilistic, pointless, cruel, stupid, and endlessly demanding, incapable of realizing life even has a purpose, irresponsible for its own actions, refusing to learn from its mistakes. Why must we continue to desecrate life? Why cannot we live in harmony? Why have we fallen so far from god, from logos, from heaven? Why cannot we not lead ourselves upwards?

[Anonymous No.15695884]

>>15690974
why am i so misanthropic. Even my friends and family i disagree with how they live life.
It is becoming a problem because I am just slowly disconnecting but not even sad.

[Anonymous No.15695942]

>>15695175
Same brother. I want to hold a girl as I press my face into her hair and she nuzzles against my chest.

[Anonymous No.15695950]

>>15690974
The fact my romance books won't sell. It's very upsetting to see something I poured my heart, soul and more than a bit of kidney into sink to the bottom while shit like 'Banged by my Billionare Best Friends Barista' is making six figures monthly.

I'm almost tempted to shill it in here in the hopes that some kind anons will spare $2.99 and 20 seconds to write a decent review.

[Anonymous No.15695959]

>>15695806
reminder: there is no right or wrong in nature.
morals come from man-made religions

[Anonymous No.15695961]

>>15695806
Cringe

[Anonymous No.15696029]

>>15695806

[Anonymous No.15696039]

How did Socrates handle rage? Like if a Sophist was just really irritating and he wanted them out of his hair but he couldn't get them to leave him alone, how would he calm down?

[Anonymous No.15696155]

>>15695961
How so faggot

[Anonymous No.15696165]

THE JUKEBOX PLAYS ON,
DRINK BY DRINK
AND THE WORDS OF EVERY SAD SONG
SAY WHAT I THINK

[Anonymous No.15696178]

why the fuck is this on /lit/?

>>>/adv/ you whiny fucks

[Anonymous No.15696184]

>>15695950
It's mostly marketing. Try to develop an internet presence, like a youtube channel or something, and mention that you write stuff. Internet presence is very important because how else are people supposed to know about you in this day and age. And if you get a fanbase before people even read the books, they'll be more likely to give high ratings. And community will naturally form around your writing. Of course this all depends on luck, but it is the best way to do it I think.

[Anonymous No.15696261]

>>15694407
Thanks fren, this shit sucks but it’s nice to hear from people here.

[Anonymous No.15696739]

>>15696178
>why the fuck is this on /lit/?
Because all great writers are troubled and use the medium as an outlet for their frustration.
You'd know that if you weren't a pseud newfag.

[Anonymous No.15696914]

>>15695109
Not an argument.

[Anonymous No.15696946]

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgXzPVajAAU

I was listening to this the other day while out for a saunter, and started feeling a little pissed off that the DNC robbed us of Pride this year with their bullshit election stunts. It's not the LGBT community's fault you nominated a ghoul.

[Anonymous No.15696959]

I'm trying to quit energy drinks, since now that I'm furlough due to the China Virus I need to save money, and I have one of those caffeine headaches. Hopefully this won't last too many days, and at least it's not as bad as heroin or whatever pills based lobsterman was hooked on.

[Anonymous No.15697059]

so many things. im so fuckin tired of all this trump qanon 5g corona jews bullshit. im so tired of all the arguing and debating and cringe and based and cope and seethe and dilate and blablabla its all so tiresome. so fuckin retarded. i wish i could go back to being a teenager when my mind was free from all these stupid fuckin things. i dont want civil wars to happen. i dont want innocent people to be killed under the name of whatever bullshit cause no matter who it is. i just want to enjoy life and the things that i like. i know i can do that but im so scared. i always assume the worst in people and i always expect the worst from the world. i dont want this brainrot to be permanent. maybe the problem lies in the fact that im too terminally online? maybe... i just want to think that none of this is really real. i dont want it to affect my life this hard. im lonely and i need help.

[Anonymous No.15697066]

>>15697059
bro you just posted cringe

[Anonymous No.15697072]

>>15690974
I keep alternating between "I want a gf" and "I don't need a gf" line of thoughts. Mind you, I never had a one and don't see how it's possible. I don't like people very much.

[Anonymous No.15697073]

>>15696039
Socrates was pretty old by the time he became the gadfly of Athens so he had a lot of natural patience built up and had years and years to learn to be detached from what irritated him. Don't sweat it if you haven't achieved that yet. He was also deeply religious and felt he had a divine duty, which put the relative smallness of being annoyed by humans into perspective for him.

[Anonymous No.15697088]

>>15697059

[Anonymous No.15697096]

>>15697072
you alternate between two thoughts which do not clash. both are true anon, but you must live in their space

[Anonymous No.15697197]

>>15690974
I want to be a cool punkish art type but I'm a distinctly 1950s-establishment sociologist type autismo.

[Anonymous No.15697276]

>>15697066
i know its cringe. fucking everything is. those are my concerns. im just tired.

[Anonymous No.15697283]

>>15690974
My best friends boyfriend falsely accused me of sexual assault, using a period of time wherein I was hospitialized to first convince my best friend, and then the group around him while I had no idea. After I got out of the hospital I tried contacting my old friends for over a month before someone finally told me what was being said. I dont feel comfortable speaking to people about this irl because I can never shake the feeling that everyone simply assumes I am guilty. I do not know why this person did this to me, but I know that i am innocent.

[Anonymous No.15697290]

>>15696739
>Because all great writers are troubled and use the medium as an outlet for their frustration.

lmao geek

get a diary and bug off wanker

[Anonymous No.15697512]

>>15697059
>maybe the problem lies in the fact that im too terminally online?
yeah, but with the current state of things, how can you not be? take refuge and gratitude in the things you like right now. now's the time to read and think and whatever else, not debate and meme. it might be cringe, but have the strength to push past social shame and really fucking flourish.
i wish i could offer my ear to you but im too self involved right now to do that. hang in there anon.

[Anonymous No.15697516]

>>15697197
>dork

[Anonymous No.15697558]

I'm enlisting in the Army Infantry and I don't really know if it will help me towards my realization of self. I told myself it would. I want that connection to warriors throughout history and my entire life has had GWOT Orwellian forever war churning away in the background so it only feels right but idk. Might just make me dumber and addicted to Copenhagen.

[Anonymous No.15697578]

>>15697558
>I want that connection to warriors throughout history
wow you really fucked up. Don't sign. The US military is literally just make work for niggers and women. You will NOT achieve any of the ideals you think you might. If you're not already locked in pull the fuck out RIGHT NOW

[Anonymous No.15697630]

>>15697558
>I want that connection to warriors throughout history

[Anonymous No.15697654]

im troubled by the fact that so many other people are troubled. and what do we do? i don't want to tell other people to accept mediocrity in the same way that i don't want to accept that i am mediocre. too many people seem to dislike their jobs, or at least have no special interest in them. a return to farm life must seem ideal because you no longer have to deal with the idiosyncrasies of 21st century life. you also reap what you sow and have ownership of property. then again nobody wants to be poor in money, which many farmers are.

[Anonymous No.15697662]

My brother & i went to school with Wes Cage - Nicolas Cage's kid.

He would attend class with 1-2 body guards who looking back I think did double duty as sober companions.

He ran circles around them and my brother became really good friends with him. Some of my favorite stories are as follows:

1. Wes & my brother were at Wes's home and Nicolas Cage ended up daring Wes and my brother to drink spoiled milk with him. So, I can safely say my brother drank spoiled milk with Wes Cage and Nicolas Cage.
2. They snuck away from the bodyguards and went to hide out in the mini movie theater in the house. That's where Wes's dad kept this very expensive and old whiskey that he'd only open for Christmas. So what did the kids do? BUST OPEN THE LIQUOR CABINET AND DRANK IT ALL. I remember my brother coming home drunk as a skunk that day. At age 16.
3. Then god - do I wish I had this tape - but my brother, Wes, & some other kid made a video reenacting Romeo & Juliet. They were kissing each other, making horrible jokes, and so forth and as if that wasn't bad enough the camera panned to Wes's mom who was dressed in what could only be described as bondage attire. The teacher quickly had turned it off in class because it was so inappropriate.

I wish I knew how Wes was doing now. He was in my drama class and really good at acting but seemed to hate it. My brother ended up dead at age 20 and last I heard he had lost contact with Wes shortly after high school .

l

[Anonymous No.15697674]

>>15692047
not bad advice thanks
>>15694328
got a PhD like a dumbass
afraid to stand up for myself
afraid to "color outside the lines"

[Anonymous No.15697677]

>>15697674
a PhD? I hope in something they paid you to get.

[Anonymous No.15697740]

I installed the Xcode 12 Beta and now the mouseover functionality randomly breaks on MacOS. I only installed it to work on iOS 14 apps, nothing on MacOS and I did not install the Big Sur beta. Maybe it's something else, maybe some SJW put a trojan in some shit on here and I clicked and now my shit's been owned, but the most logical explanation I can come up with is the shit is related to installing that Xcode beta. Probably has to do with the new iPadOS pointer functionality, and somehow it's affected MacOS.

Oh, besides that, I am such a lazy shit. I just always take the easy way out in life. Not to say that isn't comfy, but you know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.15697753]

>>15697677
They always pay you to get a Phd unless it's a completely fraudulent mail order from India type thing. Speaking of that, did you see 70% of pilots in Pakistan have fake licenses? lol, yeah, we totally need to import more of these highly skilled workers via H1B!

[Anonymous No.15697767]

>>15697753
At the university I attended, the STEMniggers all got paid for their PhD's after the first year and didn't have to be GTFs to pay for rent and food and shit. The humanitiesfaggots all had to be GTFs and shit the whole time unless they received special grants. But that's just what I noticed at just one university.

[Anonymous No.15697781]

>>15693950
Was this post machine-generated?

[Anonymous No.15697790]

>>15697740
i installed visual studio for mac and none of the project ui text renders lmao

[Anonymous No.15697800]

>>15697578
>>15697630
I'm already well versed in this. My recruiters office is a depressing office space and my Sgt. is a black women that wears "the future is female" shirts and spent ten years as an army cook. She's gunna do all 20 and spend the rest of her life living off the taxpayer. It's just a wonderful embodiment of the modern american military. Truth be told though it feels like something I have to do. I've tried to talk myself out of it and can't. Academia was bad before just imagine what state colleges are like during all this racial stuff. So college is out of the question and I'd honestly rather go do push-ups and clean stuff for the army because that gives me more theoretical economic upwards mobility than just working a normal job. I consider myself a big brain so just learning a skill and confining myself to blue collar union work would leave me unfulfilled, I think. This leaves me with few options. No matter how realistically shitty the american military is I can't stop romanticizing it. I just don't see myself being able to move on in life 'till I've forged some kind of connection with Marcus Aurelius and MacArthur as retarded as that sounds lol.

[Anonymous No.15697817]

>>15697800
anything down there about your soul?

[Anonymous No.15697831]

>>15697781
Not an argument

[Anonymous No.15697842]

>>15697800
You will regret your choices. Everything you hate about college and blue collar work will be there, waiting for you in the army. Enjoy licking ZOG boots, I guess. Once it becomes too much and you either kill yourself with drugs and alcohol or violent lash out at everyone around you, you can enjoy your dishonorable discharge (as bad as a felony or worse) for being a white supreeeeemist. So that's pretty cool. You could just shoot yourself now and save yourself the time.

[Anonymous No.15697869]

>>15690974
The greatest moment of my life was when I was in the same room as a 10 year old girl. It was just one year ago, or maybe two, I don’t remember. I’ve been thinking about her every day since. It was as if I had never known love before until I experienced seeing her. My heart and whole inner chest became warm, light, golden, blissful. I do believe that if my inner organs had eyes, they would have seen light on that day.

I wasn’t expecting this to happen, and I can’t say that I’m glad it did. I can’t get rid of my positive emotions towards such an experience, but I still view the day as being cursed because of the suffering it brings to this day. It’s not only her now, but other girls I see that charm me, though never as much as she did. As the joy passes all things, so too is the suffering great. I’m lost in fantasies and hopeless dreams, worrying about the future always.

Now I’m only sexually attracted to girls who’ve passed puberty, but even then, the younger they are, the more “romantic” is the attraction, rather than sexual. The first girl was a sort of anomaly I guess, because all the other girls that interest me are at least 12, usually in the range of 14. Both at the rational and emotional level, I seem convinced that these girls are the most attractive, and that a relationship with them would be most natural. They don’t even need makeup! And why shouldn’t I be nervous around girls that are my age? I figure they are taken anyway. It makes sense that I would assume I have no business with them, being years past initial fertility, and what not. But the younger girls, they aren’t taken, and they are virgins (virgin marriages are most successful). So instead of blaming myself or trying to change myself, I spend a lot of time regretting the state of society that conditioned us to shun these types of relationships. I’m not normal, but that doesn’t mean that I’m wrong. I have a pretty good understanding that it’s not so easy to follow through on these desires without causing trouble, and that’s why I suffer. I’ve already imagined the court hearings, the angry parents, and the girl who enticed me with all the consent in the world. Let’s appease the parents, Judge! Let them decide! Give me 100 years and take me away! I’m too dangerous. We’re all victims here.

[Anonymous No.15697882]

>>15697869
ok pedo

[Anonymous No.15697922]

>>15690974
Major depression and lack of any healthcare options where I live, exacerbated by terrible economy and job market

[Anonymous No.15697933]

>>15697842
4 years Army and 4 years at a comfy state college. This allows me to escape adulthood 'till I'm almost 30. Undying optimism will get me where I want to be. And hey I'd rather be ZOGs boot than the bootee. What would you have me do instead?

>>15697817
Yes anon.

[Anonymous No.15697967]

>>15690974
Im dumb

[Anonymous No.15698023]

>>15697933
RIP your smile and optimism. At least you'll only waste half a decade of your life. I'm sorry your parents didn't raise you to have any aspirations or to think for yourself.

[Anonymous No.15698038]

>>15697933
well, a soul's a sort of a fifth wheel to a wagon anyways

[Anonymous No.15698100]

>>15698023
A veteran with a bachelors is going to have a lot of a lot better life than some guy who spent his 20s shitposting racist crap on anime websites. Steve Bannon started in the navy, went to some Catholic place for a bachelors, then transitioned to a Harvard MBA, and now he's rich AF and doing whatever he wants. Wether you agree with his politics or not, dude is on the self-actualization tier of Maslow's shit.

[Anonymous No.15698202]

>>15698100
>A veteran with a bachelors is going to have a lot of a lot better life than some guy who spent his 20s shitposting racist crap on anime websites
That's kind of a false dichotomy don't you think? There are options besides just those two.

[Anonymous No.15698334]

>>15698100
>Steve Bannon started in the navy, went to some Catholic place for a bachelors, then transitioned to a Harvard MBA, and now he's rich AF and doing whatever he wants.
That's great for Steve Bannon. I'm sure he's very proud of all his wealth. He also didn't enlist into the Navy in 2020, didn't go to college in 2024, and didn't try to get an MBA from Havard in 2028. Times have changed, opportunities have changed. It's not 80s and 90s America any more. And regarding the comment about him being on the self-actualization tier of Maslow's hierarchy: he explicitly commented that he is looking forward to "escaping adulthood" for almost a decade. He doesn't even have a hint about the self he's apparently trying to actualize! The main thesis of the posts I've made in this thread is to warn him that the things that he thinks he will experience in the Army will NOT be consistent with what his actual experiences are. Let me ask that young man, how many people who have been in the Army and gotten out have you talked to about it? Did they tell you that the Army gave them all the things they were looking for? Ever wonder why people leave after 4 years?

[Anonymous No.15698362]

>>15698334
No, you're right. In 2020 the smartest thing for a young man to do is attend a Javascript bootcamp and then work for a startup in exchange for stock options. Also, short TSLA and buy a ton of crypto!

This is what chuds actually believe.

[Anonymous No.15698425]

>>15698362
Never once have I mentioned anywhere in this thread that someone should
1. attend a"Javascript bootcamp"
2. work for a startup in exchange for stock options
3. short TSLA (or anything else)
4. buy and trade cryptocurrencies.
In fact, if you use the search function of our browser, you'll find that the very first post which mentioned any of those things is actually your own post. What I have done in this thread is criticize the decision to enlist in the US military, known colloquially as the ZOG military.

[Anonymous No.15698434]

>>15698425
kek

[Anonymous No.15698603]

>>15690974
My friends are all gone. The other day I found out the second in a year committed suicide. He had moved away to Chicago for grad school, got a master's in a year, and was supposed to go to fucking Harvard in the fall for a PhD, but I guess he didn't want that. He was a fucking genius, breezed through one of the hardest physics programs in the country as easily as the rest of us got through high school.
I decided to check on all my other friends after that, see how they were feeling about things. Most of them just said they were fine and too busy to talk. Nobody checked on me.

[Anonymous No.15698734]

>>15690974
I write everyday, but hate every word I write. It's developed into a distrust of my old undergrad professor, who I think is just bullshitting me about my writing being good when we have email correspondences. I can't sleep for thinking about grad school applications that will be due in a few months. There's this intense fear that I'm not ready. That I never will be. And even if I get in, it will show, the other students in the workshop will look at me like one does someone you know you can't tell to just drop it, they don't have it, but that you want to, for their sake. Beyond this, my grandmother is immobile and dying, my mother is in chronic pain and is on me about finances, and my girlfriend's best friend is basically a spoiled little sociopath who tries to lecture me on how to eat while I'm eating. She's obsessed with etiquette and likes to point out how I'm not using manners when I eat spaghetti wrong. Then the whole table turns into a henpeck party, and I think about sticking a fork into her eye before dropping it into the spaghetti and going for a drive.

[Anonymous No.15698775]

Life is still incredibly dull, can’t wait to die from old age desu.

[Anonymous No.15698793]

>>15698334
I was sort of being facetious and leaning into the cool self deprecating 4channel humor in reference to the "escape adulthood" thing. I have in fact talked to multiple people. They are doing rather well or at least act squared away. Even the fuck up ex combat engineer I met was getting steady disability. He's better off with the military then he would've been without it desu. If he'd made the same decisions in the free market as he had in the military he'd probably be homeless instead of sitting comfy.

>>15698100
That's the general idea. Some people just can't accept that things aren't that bad and opportunity exists.

Sorry to shit up an otherwise good thread. Just wanted to share that I was apprehensive about choosing infantry over Intel or psyops.

[Anonymous No.15698882]

I want to spend all day playing dolls on Koikatsu but things such as having a job and biological functions take away my time from it.

[Anonymous No.15698996]

>>15698793
>Even the fuck up ex combat engineer I met was getting steady disability
This is your aspirations? Fuck your spine and knees up from carrying heavy shit for four years or get blown up by an IED or in a car accident and draw a pittance "fuck off" payment for life? Why not just go shoot up a DMV or something, you'll get more combat experience that way and might actually accomplish some good.

[Anonymous No.15699009]

>>15698775
No, your life is incredibly dull. I'm having a good time.

[Anonymous No.15699090]

>>15698603
this thread might be dead, but fuck it. i’m right there with you. sometimes i feel like my friends are slipping more and more out of my grasp. my family treats me like shit. i wouldn’t be surprised if everyone forgot about me in a few years.

[Anonymous No.15699116]

>>15697516
Its true :(

[Anonymous No.15699142]

>>15698996
I'm gunna stop responding bc people have actual problems they are sharing in this thread and I feel selfish but yeah really cool how you ignored the context under which I pinned my anecdote about the combat engineer. I have a five/ ten year plan and if for some reason I don't accomplish that I'm cool with coasting off disability and being a neet. Better than fucking up your back working for Amazon or Ashley furniture and not getting shit. In the current environment either work for the government or work for your self. Either way the military is a stepping stone towards those ideals. Stop with zog this and zog that.

[Anonymous No.15699238]

>>15699142
Are you trying to achieve higher spiritual ideals or just get a job and get by? Your posts are confusing and send mixed signals. You are >>15697558 right? Are you looking for "connections to warriors throughout history" or just a paycheck?

[Anonymous No.15699343]

I am completely unstable as a human being.

When alone I am completely isolated, emotionless, simply passing the time until I am dead.

When I am socialising I always get over excited and embarass myself somehow. I literally look like the 'norf fc' bloke IRL. I am a 19 year old kissless virgin.

My happiness is ALWAYS fleeting, but I know this is how it should be, but this doesn't make me feel any better. Life truly swings like a pendulum between pain and boredom.

I have no idea who I am, really. My psychologist is convinced I don't have borderline personality disorder and maybe I agree with him. But what else could this be?

[Anonymous No.15699492]

I have to work a regular job rather than be paid to pursue my groundbreaking ideas.

[Anonymous No.15699527]

>>15699343
You're 19, chill out. If you can at least articulate yourself like you just did then you need not worry too much. You are a young buck full of energy and bright ideas, but I predict that when you're my age (28) life will have hit you square in the face and you'll be less pointlessly neurotic.

[Anonymous No.15699541]

>>15690974
I can't figure out how to make money and I'm in my late 20s.

[Anonymous No.15699543]

>>15699343
>When I am socialising I always get over excited and embarrass myself somehow.
Being overly sincere is way better than being overly ironic and detached. You may not realize it but people deep down appreciate honesty and expressions of sincere feelings. The people that don't are simply shitty people. Regarding your comment about knowing who you are: answering the call to "know thyself" is a life long project. The fact that you are cognizant of it now is a great sign of your capacity for self-reflection. You're only 19-years-old and you may not realize it but you are already ahead of the curve. What do you typically read? Do you read any more?

[Anonymous No.15699578]

>>15691561
yeah i did.
tests never point towards anything.

[Anonymous No.15699602]

>>15690974
Not much.

Occasionally remembering past mistakes, and when I drink too much I get an excessive amount of hangover anxiety.

Life is pretty good.

[Anonymous No.15699769]

>>15694551
>high crime rates in ghettoized neighborhoods
I have never once felt in danger walking through poor but largely chinese/vietnamese/russian neighborhoods in my city. When will you admit poverty is no where near as strong a correlation to crime as simply being incompatible with western social organization. These traits aren't unique to blacks either. I'd argue Gypsies are 10 times more reviled than blacks in the places they frequent. It's simply people who didn't evolve in the same way as agrarian settled farmers did and don't value the social contract.

[Anonymous No.15699908]

>>15699769
Um no sweaty it's because of white supremacy, the KKK and the holocaust so get your check book out, it's time to pay some reparations, cracker.

[Anonymous No.15700041]

>>15690974
The hell called existence

[Anonymous No.15700048]

>>15691019
based