Test your literary mettle and write a paragraph of prose based on the last two digits of your post.

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Shallow&Passe !!DQ55DxtAeRm Sat Feb 19 20:04:43 2011 No.1568085 [Reply] [Original]

Test your literary mettle and write a paragraph of prose based on the last two digits of your post.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:05:43 2011 No.1568091 roll

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Sat Feb 19 20:05:43 2011 No.1568093 Okay, let's do this. Let's make it hapen.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:06:43 2011 No.1568099 I like this

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:06:43 2011 No.1568101 Drum roll.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:08:43 2011 No.1568107 rollin

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:08:43 2011 No.1568108 alright then

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:11:43 2011 No.1568119 File: 35 KB, 352x300, HeMadLando.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568099 >99

>>	Tofu !s7vSX9lhAI Sat Feb 19 20:12:43 2011 No.1568122 >>1568099 >99 I don't

>>	CameronJerome !4JRO42v1KU Sat Feb 19 20:12:43 2011 No.1568127 >erotic animals

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Sat Feb 19 20:12:43 2011 No.1568129 >>1568119 I got mad as soon as I saw I had to write erotic robot literature. Only >>>/m/ does that bullshit. I never want to do that, ever. Maybe I'll re-think it after I calm down and have a beer.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:13:43 2011 No.1568134 maybe

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:14:43 2011 No.1568135

>>1568099
Dumpy the goat bah-bah's with animal anticipation as I shut the big barn door behind me and approach him in the dark. He knows what's coming. It's not like we haven't done this before. Dumpy even knows to turn around. I stroke his fur from behind and feel his horns, and I make him feel MY horn, threatening to penetrate him there and then but stopping short -- Dumpy loves it when I tease. I can't tease him all night though. In an instant I am on my back underneath him, jerking off his slick cock and playing with his furry balls.

>>	CameronJerome !4JRO42v1KU Sat Feb 19 20:15:43 2011 No.1568138 File: 23 KB, 347x393, 1240266540309.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568129 And your second was romance/animals

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:18:43 2011 No.1568153 >>1568135 Oh god... I work at a Zoo, and today I worked in the goat petting zoo...

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:20:43 2011 No.1568159 >>1568153 Just don't let me near it is all I'm saying. I call it the heavy petting zoo, or sometimes the fucking zoo.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:26:43 2011 No.1568188 rollin

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:31:43 2011 No.1568215 rooll

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:37:43 2011 No.1568237 Rollin erryday

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:37:43 2011 No.1568243 File: 355 KB, 876x1280, spocklaughing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568159 >Heavy petting Zoo

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:41:43 2011 No.1568252 >>1568159 >>1568159 >Heavy petting zoo Fucking lol.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:42:43 2011 No.1568256

>>1568101

The young magician cast his gaze skyward and noted in the verdant canvas a sight he’d not before seen.
“Father!” he cried. “Father!”
The boy’s father, a man whose experience in the dark arts exceeded far beyond that of the boy’s, obliged his son’s cries, and walked calmly to the boy’s side.
“What is it?” he said.
“Look, father!” the boy said, pointing to the clouds. “There, you see? What is that?”
The old magician raised a hand before his eyes, casting a shadow over his handsome face, and peered beyond the clouds to a thin strip of light that had increased in girth since the boy’s first note of it, and which continued to do so as the old magician studied its approach. Its color was purple, and the delineation of its form persisted in fluctuation, first widening before thinning again, seeming to grow near before once more appearing as though miles away. The old magician lowered his hand and turned to the boy.
“Get inside.”
“But father! What is that?”
“I need you to stay inside, Aaron.”
“But—” the boy had no further time to speak his protest. The thin line of purple suddenly contracted, turning from its original snake-like apparition into a fine dark point, and in the next moment burst into flame as it honed in on the plains where both father and son stood. The impact was immediate, and both man and boy were lifted off their feet and cast far off into the fields. Their home, a tiny hut, fell prey to fire, and soon started to disperse.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:43:43 2011 No.1568259

>>1568256
The magician stood. Blood ran through his garments, and down the sides of his legs. Smoke reigned about him.
“Aaron!” he shouted. The magician, rarely one to panic, grew uneasy at the absence of reply. “Aaron!”
Something moved within the grass. The magician turned. “Aaron?” But he knew it was not. The movement stopped. It had sensed him.
A shape took form within the smoke. It reared slowly from the floor, like a plume of essence rising after a potion’s successful production, and, though its proper details could not be seen, the magician witnessed a turning of what seemed to be a head. The form hunched, an emitted what sounded to the magician’s ears like a cat after having been backed into a corner, eyes narrowed and ears pressed firmly against the scalp. It was a terrible, guttural sound.
The smoke broke as the creature leapt. The magician spoke quickly the conglomeration of foreign tongues he had been taught as a young man, and lifted his hand to the animal. It stopped mid-air, screeched, and fell to the floor in convulsions. Its forelimbs and tail thrashed as its jaws lunged at inexistent prey, and soon the creature ceased to kick.
The magician heard his son’s scream. He quickly forgot the beast.
“Aaron!”
He began to run through the smoke, seeing nothing. Again his son cried, and alongside it a fierce snapping and tear, and the magician’s reserve turned to fearful dread.
“Aaron! Aaron, flame, show me where you are! Use flame!”
The boy had been taught to issue small sparks from his hands, an easy spell the father had taught him so to prevent him from growing weary of the night, and as he ran the magician’s head looked desperately for that small glimmer.
“Aaron!”
There was no reply.

I was going to have it where the guy watches his son get torn to shreds before being killed himself, but I got broed and figured this was enough. Your move, bitches.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 20:47:43 2011 No.1568276 >>1568259 >>1568256 That was actually pretty awesome.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:00:43 2011 No.1568322 I don't know about this.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:05:43 2011 No.1568327 >>1568322 Romance and soldiers. You got Some Pokeback Mountain writing to do.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:08:43 2011 No.1568338 File: 346 KB, 1275x1755, 1231461453436.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Rolling

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:24:43 2011 No.1568381 Rolling

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:25:43 2011 No.1568384 Try me, /lit/!

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:26:43 2011 No.1568386 rolling

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:26:43 2011 No.1568387 Naw

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:28:43 2011 No.1568390 Rooolling!

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:33:43 2011 No.1568406 why not?

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:34:43 2011 No.1568409

>>1568390

Fuckyes.

Jasper felt the biting spray of the sea against his face, the roughness of the rail against his bare chest and the captain's hands, creeping, inching, tantalisingly up his back. A sudden burst of hot breath attacked his ear and he felt the captain knock his forehead gently against the back of his own neck, sweat mixing with sweat.

'My lad.' The captain took a deep breath, and the rough hands stopped and seized Jasper's shoulders. He felt every callus against his wind-pricked skin. 'You run as tight a ship as I.'

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:35:43 2011 No.1568413 Roll. Maybe I'll actually do it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:35:43 2011 No.1568414 Rolling for curiosity. Hopefully I get erotic detectives.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:35:43 2011 No.1568415 Rolling

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:37:43 2011 No.1568421 >>1568414 >crime farmers How... what? Or is it scifi aliens, I can't tell, to be honest, as the image isn't specific of what is the first and what is the second.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:38:43 2011 No.1568423 >>1568409 goatguy here. noice.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:38:43 2011 No.1568425 Rolling...

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:41:43 2011 No.1568442 Let's roll!

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:45:43 2011 No.1568463 Rollie Pollie Ollie

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:46:43 2011 No.1568465 rollin

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:47:43 2011 No.1568475

>>1568381
The snow battered against the side of the school. The howl of icy wind grew quieter, but only a little, as the three of us descended the frost-slick stairs into the boiler room. The iron furnace was entombed in a layer of gleaming ice. Billy's body was pressed against it, the poor boy's face stuck fast to the frozen metal. His blood was only just beginning to freeze around the dribbling red gash on his throat.
"Jesus," Conway said, recoiling a pace from the dead sixteen year old.
I could only nod my response. Joe - that's what we called him, anyway - was a bit more productive. Despite the obvious strain, he moved in tremulous, jerky motions to inspect the body. Being stranded in this kind of weather was hard on him, cold blooded as his kind was, and I could tell that he was fighting hard just to stay awake from the way his eyes were moving. All three of them were a flickering staccato, rapidly blinking as if fighting back a sneeze. The aliens hardly ever blinked when they were calm.
"Hey! Don't fucking touch him!" Conway barked, though he made no effort to intervene. "Don't fucking ignore me, you goddamn Iguana."
"Conway," I said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened at my touch.
"Sorry," he murmured, shrugging off my hand. He absently rubbed his naked ring finger. "I don't trust the illegals is all."
"He has his papers," I reminded Conway, though I couldn't disagree. "And we know it wasn't him. He was with us when the generator blew."
"Could've been one of the others, though," Conway whispered.
"If it was," Joe said, his low gurgle of a voice churning the cold air between us, "I'm just as intent on stopping him as you. We're all trapped here until rescue comes, and my clutch are in danger, same as yours. Now, please turn your flashlights away. I see better in the dark."

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:48:43 2011 No.1568476

>>1568425
Romance/Kings? That's too easy.

Borne to be a leader of men, young Egan must follow in his father's path. He desires nothing more than to be just like his father - regal, respected, and revered by all of his people. From childhood, he has always known that he must marry whomever his father pleases, so that his country can remain safe and whole. He courts every young woman that his father throws in front of him, but none seem to interest him and as he grows older, his subjects begin to worry that he will never marry and that their king will not have an heir. His father brings the most beautiful woman in the world to court, the lovely Princess Sabella, in hopes that Egan will finally find someone that he can't ignore. But it's not the Princess that Egan sees when her retinue comes to court - it's the shy, blushing chamber maid that steals his heart.

I was more trying to go for the back of a romance novel, but meh.
Captcha: must bythis

>>	VDV Actual Sat Feb 19 21:49:43 2011 No.1568479 Fuck it. Rolling.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:50:43 2011 No.1568487 rolling!

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:51:43 2011 No.1568488

>>1568384

The sun had begun to rise; a cock crowed - it was a Sunday: farmer's market. As the flora and fauna began their ascent into consciousness, John Smith was atop his horse-drawn wagon, accepting the impromptu breakfast his wife had proffered. With a bite of the bread and a crack of his whip, he began his journey to town square.

The cart meandered onto the dusty, barren road, the road landlocked by fields of corn. The road wasn't so barren, however, as Smith's rival, Stevens, was on his way to the market, too. So one could say that it was actually a rather congested type of barren road, but this narrator digresses.

Stevens cast a malignant glance at Smith, who replied with a sardonic grin. Almost concurrently the two farmers floored their horses and began a race. The two carts clashed, crashed, scraped and assaulted each other, their drivers shouting expletives and crude insults about each others' mothers at every turn. Finally, Stevens let go of his reigns and leapt onto Smith's cart. Stevens drew his hoe and struck the man over the head with it, rocketing the man both out of consciousness and off of the cart.

Penultimately, Stevens got their first; he reaped the fruits of his farm labor, indeed. Ultimately, though, Smith had the last laugh as he defecated in Stevens' newest batch of corn seed.

VDV Actual Sat Feb 19 21:51:43 2011 No.1568490

>>1568479

Oh wat?! Srsly ¬.¬

Okay, so some animals milled around in a field. It is mostly unimportant what kind of animals they were or where they field was, since their intelligence and herding instincts will be roughly similar. They milled around and maybe ate something and defecated and maybe copulated if it was the right time of year.

I hate this game :(

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:52:43 2011 No.1568495 Fuck it I'll write a whole book on it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:54:43 2011 No.1568505 >>1568490 This tripfag is my penis x

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:55:43 2011 No.1568508 rollllan'''

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:56:43 2011 No.1568510 File: 47 KB, 447x387, 1295289244037.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568488

>>	VDV Actual Sat Feb 19 21:57:43 2011 No.1568516 >>1568505 Tripfag =/= namefag, totally anon person who I've never met, much less engaged in sweaty frantic coitus with.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 21:58:43 2011 No.1568520 >>1568516 You jelly you've never had coitus with me last weekend, namefag?

>>	VDV Actual Sat Feb 19 22:00:43 2011 No.1568529 >>1568520 You the one who's jelly, anon. Strawberry flavoured lubricating jelly.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:00:43 2011 No.1568530 roley poley oley

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:02:43 2011 No.1568534 death to tripfags rollin

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:02:43 2011 No.1568535 There are more than ten people on /lit/? roll

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:08:43 2011 No.1568554 Oh bugger

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:09:43 2011 No.1568562 >dice.jpg

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:10:43 2011 No.1568563 File: 81 KB, 410x379, 1296242049705.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568529 >>1568520 >>1568516 >>1568505 >>1568490 God dammit, shut the fuck up. Nobody cares about your tripfaggotry.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:10:43 2011 No.1568564 ALRIGHT WHERE MAKIN THIS HAPPEN

>>	Deep&Edgy !pSkjEcB9sQ Sat Feb 19 22:11:41 2011 No.1568568 File: 32 KB, 700x576, deepandedgyquote.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] oh boy I wonder what i'll get

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:12:43 2011 No.1568572 Postian

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:14:43 2011 No.1568578 >>1568563 you're adorable. +5 will troll you again

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:15:43 2011 No.1568583

>>1568564
Dammit I got Farmer Adventures.

At dawn, to the invigorating scent of coffee, Rufus awoke. He sprung from his nasty bed and poured himself a mug of the black liquid, and quickly struggled on his overalls and boots to avoid his wife's harangues.
Walking out to the barnyard, he spotted out of the corner of his eye two men, crouching in the corn. They were enemy agents, come to eliminate him.
With consummate speed he drew his DEAGLE BRAND DEAGLE and fired three shots. One figure slumped in the stalks, while the other ran. Another blast, and the runner collapsed to the ground. They carried no identification, but Rufus knew who sent them. It was time for revenge.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:17:43 2011 No.1568585 >>1568568 Did you just decide that you were important enough to quote YOURSELF?

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Sat Feb 19 22:18:43 2011 No.1568591 >>1568585 You're pretty new to this whole SmallAndTiny thing, aren't ya?

>>	Deep&Edgy !pSkjEcB9sQ Sat Feb 19 22:21:41 2011 No.1568603 >>1568585 Funnily enough I didn't make that one

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:26:43 2011 No.1568625

>>1568562
>adventure
>soldiers

The roof tiling in the lab was melting and dripping something onto the floor as I picked her up and slung her over my shoulder like a firefighter. Check the floor, don't step in it. She was heavier than I thought and her feet dangled in my peripheral. She had those plastic bag boot covers on for some reason. Up until that point I'd assumed that she was a simpleton janitor but those slippers made me think otherwise. Check the door. Too hot. The fire had spread cutting off our exist. I could feel, underneath the heat of the spreading fire, the rumble of the tanks in the yard. She stirred and I tried my best roguish smile as her eyes wavered in my direction. "Alright Ma'am, in about 15 seconds a tank is going to burst through that wall and I'm going to have to kill everyone inside it, so I'm going to need you to sit still a moment." Her groggy eyes held no response. I placed her under a long bench and checked the rounds in my revolver. Four left. This is going to be easy.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:28:43 2011 No.1568630 herpington herpswell, the tale of the speedy duck

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:31:43 2011 No.1568639 Roll'd

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:32:43 2011 No.1568642 >dice.jpg

>>	OUTRAGEOUS Sat Feb 19 22:40:43 2011 No.1568665 >>1568495 I would gladly read a book about erotic kings.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:52:43 2011 No.1568695 Rolling, not sure if I will deliver

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 22:58:43 2011 No.1568715 rolling, this will make an awesome story. (inb4 99, writing this for my girlfriend who is sick right now)

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:00:43 2011 No.1568725

>>1568572
Meteors of lead descend upon us in our steel and glass world. Each tumbling upon entry, a hot, screaming, reckless reaper sent for blood to appease a false god. Some tyrant, some genius, living in his bunker with his stockpiles of wealth and food. We found the grave last month(Hundreds of bodies, the families of the architects bribed or beaten into building his underworld utopia) it’s how we knew we were getting close. And here I was almost about to shit myself as my friends die on and around me; no last words, nothing but panic equal to pain. Out of shattered frames emerge the barrels of those of us still left to retaliate. In a panic I drew arms against an enemy out there somewhere in this vacuum of death sucking the air from lungs. Blindly firing each shot fades. A dull humm, a swell, ringing, hummmmm.

Probly fucked up the whole realism thing.

>>	DerMetzgermeister !!sr4al9xy3dO Sat Feb 19 23:00:43 2011 No.1568727 Rolling.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:00:43 2011 No.1568730

>>1568085
This is one paragraph but I split it up for, uh, emphasis.

When it's nice out, I like to walk through the local park on Malberry Street. That place has got it all man. It's got gold fish, ducks, and a red brand spank-ingly new jungle-gym. It's the whole she-bang. In the afternoons there are always little bastards scrambling over everything. Sometimes I think it'd be real nice to be that small again, no problems, no nothing; the only thing you gotta worry about is catching your pal Tom when you're It.

The park's the best place to be on a Friday. As long as it ain't raining, around two-o'clock you'll see tables upon tables of old fellas playing chess. They take that game so god damned seriously, but I ain't gonna hold it against them, they're all pretty tops. There's San-Fran Steve whose always picking like he's got scabbies or something, specially when he's stumped he's like a terrier. If you ask me, that scratching's the reason he's balding. Then there's Martin, old Marty-mart; man Marty's a hoot, if Kyle or Basil are moving a little slow that day (which they always are), he'll say in a real John Wayne accent “Time's up there friend, you best be a moving a-long” and he'll tap he the egg-timer.

My favourite though, that's gotta be Old Fredrick. Old Fred's always got on this faded suede jacket, a present from “the best broad”, that's what he calls his old girl. If it wasn't so worn it would be a mighty fine jacket too, but that ain't what kills me about old Freddy boy. You see Fred, he never plays. I only ever see him watching, he flits around from table to table, just rubbing that pristinely shaved chin. You can tell what he thinks too, he'll nod up and down like a god damned retard if he thinks you've done right; and if you've screwed it, he'll shake his head like you're some queer-son coming out of the closet.

>>	dd Sat Feb 19 23:01:43 2011 No.1568733 rollen

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:02:43 2011 No.1568740

>>1568730
Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm an old man and I'm playing Fred one v one. He's got my king in one of those real killer tights, checked right up in the corner. Me, I'm worried of course, I move my king here, he nods, I move him over there, he shakes it. I do this over and over again, not even watching the board, just doing it so I can make his head roll back and forth. Then when his head looks like it's just about to fall off, some real invigorating music starts playing, like Rachmaninov's second piano concerto. Just when it climaxes in the first movement I stand up all tall like and say, “You know what Fred. You don't know a god damned thing. You're just an old man. Your jacket is shit, and you're going to die soon.” Then I throw the chess board in his face and storm off.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:08:43 2011 No.1568757 ROLLIN LIKE A FOX

dd Sat Feb 19 23:09:43 2011 No.1568760

>>1568733

Two robots were chilling in their master's house, done all the chores for today.
"Guess what?" the first robot said.
"What?"
"Master said that he wanted me to be more than just a ROBOT. So he decided to give my human instincts."
"Congratulations!" the other robot said. "But what exactly does that mean?"
"Well first off, I'm hungry and thirsty."

The robot walked over to the sink, turned it in, and put his mouth under the faucet. He electrocuted himself and died, or more like shut off.

"Oh no!" the other robot said. Just then, the master walked in.
"What happened?" he asked.
"He was thirsty so he put his mouth under the faucet and electrocuted himself."
"Well that sucks."

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:11:43 2011 No.1568765

>>1568642
>sci-fi
>soldiers

"This is preposterous!" The small man with tiny glasses yelled. "We all know that the inchotate form of the destinate emotiomatrix needs an internal tolerance of not less than one sixtheeth of a macbethian! Not to mention there needs to be at least four Humes of it to begin with! There is no possible means to counteract that." The tiny man was technically a soldier, holding the rank of Captain. He didn't wear a uniform or salute but he was valuable enough and clever enough to get away with that. But this time Captain Cole knew he was wrong. He's flown in the blasted machine. It worked and while it theoretically shouldn't have worked according to the tiny man in the tiny glasses, it did.
"The catastrophic failure to manifest sufficient amounts of tangible manifest destiny is irrelevant for sustained flight. It only needs to be present at the moment of take off" Cole's voice drifted from back of the lecture hall. He was alone at the back and thought that maybe he wasn't heard or maybe that the tiny man would go on, just pretending not to have heard but the tiny man did stop. Has simply paused to press a small button on his commpad to amplify his voice before answering.
"Cole? You're offering a differing opinion?" The tiny man said with a smile. "You're not going to revise my Vintner's Dilation calculations again are you?" The crowd chuckled at that. Cole had rather publicly performed and published some bad calculus in some important claret integrations a few years back and the tiny man would not let his forget his faults. Cole seethed in his seat and tried his best to speak calmly. This time he was not incorrect. He carefully closed the straps around his chest and fired the jetpack's engine. Cole shot toward the stage at an alarming rate before cutting the engine and landing with a thump near the surprised tiny man. "I have my rebuttal right here... strapped to my butt...al" Cole said with a smile.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:16:43 2011 No.1568780 Rollan. For extra added bonus, work your captcha into your post.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:17:43 2011 No.1568781 >>1568760 lol

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:19:43 2011 No.1568788 Let's see.

>>	The Meat Master Sat Feb 19 23:21:43 2011 No.1568794 File: 29 KB, 248x253, 1298152232281.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Rollin.'

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:23:43 2011 No.1568800 spinning

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:23:43 2011 No.1568802 Rawlin.

DerMetzgermeister !!sr4al9xy3dO Sat Feb 19 23:24:43 2011 No.1568804

>>1568727
More than a paragraph, but fuck you::

-----------
No words needed to be said as he decsended upon the crowds; their screams told their story. Thor reared back, after a mighty thrust of his theological meat hammer. He was horny and there was no other way to rid himself of his desires.

A lonely bead of sweat rolled from the tip of his nose, catching a ray of sunlight as it splashed on the head of his massive cock.

Thor gasped and convulsed as his thunderous wang smashed directly into the center of a small village, erasing all traces of the inhabitants. Boiling precum dribbled from the hole of his urethra; a molten slag which vaporized the unlucky survivors of his first ramming.
-------
TO BE CONTINUED

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:24:43 2011 No.1568806 I'm in.

DerMetzgermeister !!sr4al9xy3dO Sat Feb 19 23:24:43 2011 No.1568807

>>1568804
CONTINUING:

---------------------

The pleasure was intense as Thor aimed his genitalia for another unsuspecting civilization. Swinging as much as the granite-hard throbbing member could, he located a small isle off of Gaul. Oh the death he would reign.

This would be the last strike he could muster for he was on the verge of exploding.

Heaven itself parted as his penis sped towards the ground. The earth quivered as he made landfall, desimating the innocents beneath him. The collective screams of thousands could be heard as he withdrew for a final time - for the time of passion was upon him.

His face flushed a full red as his sexual peak was reached. Volcanoes erupted in fury as Thor's throbbing basilisk vibrated. With a swift moan, the romance of ages flooded from the gates; ushering forth a hot load.

This hot mess swamped land and killed livestock. Forests were obliterated where they stood, leaving behind the toothpick remnants of what were once mighty oaks.

The world grew silent. Those who had withstood the penile assault regrouped and began to rebuild. They never fully understood what happened, but they would be prepared for the next occasion.

Thor grabbed his beef bazooka, throttling it of the last bits of semen so as not to get his pants slimy.

"Alright," he proclaimed with a roar. "The wank of a milenium is finished."

With a mighty stroke of his pencil, he crossed off the date on his calendar.

Looking over for the next date, he read to himself, "Hmm, seems like the next time is.. December 21, 2012."

He got excited.

"I'll be ready."

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:25:43 2011 No.1568808 fol rol de ol rol

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:26:43 2011 No.1568815 Doing it.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:29:43 2011 No.1568820
File: 980 KB, 425x318, 1277997079067.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Fantasy
>Pirates

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrre you going to sit there all day or arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you going to start pirating?"
"I can't really pirate, I'm only someone's fantasy."
And then the pirates disappeared, replaced by an image of an ice cream cone.
"I could go for some ice cream"

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:31:43 2011 No.1568826 >dice.jpg

>>	DerMetzgermeister !!sr4al9xy3dO Sat Feb 19 23:32:43 2011 No.1568828 >>1568807 Anyone read my shit? Comments? Criticism?

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:33:43 2011 No.1568832 File: 67 KB, 640x572, 1294269341703.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568828 Fucking garbage. Go back to /b/ faggot.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:34:43 2011 No.1568836
File: 4 KB, 300x57, kimuraYmmear.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>1568780
Jack Bauer sped down the hill to the dock in the hijacked land rover. He screeched to a stop inches from the water. As he leapt out he saw Kimura and Ymmear already in the Cigarette. He ran to the end of the dock as it was taking off, and made a flying leap, landing in the spare seat beside Ymmear. "You scared the hell out of me!" exclaimed Ymmear. Bauer only grinned. He glanced behind him and saw a crowd of angry Somalis -- Hassan's henchmen -- lay into the land rover with crowbars.
Night was falling as they approached the pirate ship. Bauer fitted onto the motor a silencer that he has jury-rigged on the way. They came alongside the ship in darkness, without a sound. Bauer leapt onto the dangling rope ladder, knife between teeth. The pirate who saw him when he landed on the deck didn't have time to cry out before he died.
Leandra was sitting in the darkness, bound and sobbing, when Bauer burst into the room. "Be quiet if you want to live," he hissed. He cut Leandra's bonds and picked her up in his arms, at once forceful and gentle. "Hang on to me," he said as he climbed over the side back onto the rope bridge. The dim light of Bauer's flashlight exposed the faces of Kimura and Ymmear below them. He leapt lightly down to the Cigarette, installing Leandra beside Ymmear. "There's bad news", Kimura said. "That engine silencer you jury-rigged stopped working. We had to cut the engine." "Fuck it," Bauer snapped. "We don't need it anymore. Take off. I'll cover you."
Ymmear gunned the engine. The unholy din of the Cigarette brought five pirates to the rail. Two dropped instantly, felled by Bauer's Glock. The other three went wailing and yammering back to their captain. The rescue was complete.

>>	DerMetzgermeister !!sr4al9xy3dO Sat Feb 19 23:35:43 2011 No.1568842 File: 230 KB, 408x408, 1269208575199.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568832 Never been, what's a "bee"?

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:36:43 2011 No.1568845

Heavy breathing. The only sound resonating from the interior of that room. I was the only one that knew, I knew. Someone of my position would never dared to have spoken up to his highness, and god forbid, I would. I had to however, this was no longer a matter I could take lightly. He had a history of making deals with them, at the cost of my living. One thousand grain mills would be sold to the neighboring country to finance my king's party, my king's. I had it in my hand, the contract. Should I sell him out to the senate, it was on my conscience. Should I betray the sacred covenant for peasants? My father was robbing them. I, his bastard son, my king's blood, would do him away for the suffering he had opposed on I, and his mistress, my mother.

Probably not the best, but I did in in a hurry.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:39:43 2011 No.1568854

>>1568806

Through his spyglass he could now see the hull of the pirate frigate under the sails that had been chasing them since dawn. He looked forward along the length of the 'Maiden's Fancy', hoping there was some sail still furled, a sheet loose to tighten, to give them just the knot or two they would need to make it clear until darkness came. The scared eyes of his deckhands gave him the only answer he could see.
He swallowed down the bile rising in his throat.
"Prepare to go about!" He ordered
The time to run had passed. The time to fight was about to begin.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:40:43 2011 No.1568856

>>1568845

I like the repetition.

At least someone knows how to use literary devices to make their work better.

I've also read them all and you should try to avoid "quote" speeches in these situations, there are no characters presented and we don't know who they are.

yea yea ambiguity blah blah
but this was a paragraph, not a novel with development.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:41:43 2011 No.1568863 Well let's get this shat started.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:42:43 2011 No.1568864 >>1568828 I can't stop jerking it to this.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:42:43 2011 No.1568865 Roll.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:44:43 2011 No.1568869 okay!

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:45:43 2011 No.1568873 File: 27 KB, 358x450, 039_8514charles-bronson-posters.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] This is cool. Rollin'.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:45:43 2011 No.1568874 roll

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:46:43 2011 No.1568875 >>1568869 goddamn it the fates really do want me to write legend of the guardians: the owls of ga'hoole fanfic tonight

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:46:43 2011 No.1568878 >>1568874 Grapes of Wrath. Rerolling.

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:48:43 2011 No.1568882

>>1568794

>Farmer Erotica

>Gay Incest Farmer Erotica

"Ugh!" Cletus cried as he ripped a large ripe tomato off the vine. "Wow, that's a juicy one!"
"I'll say..." Elrod said suggestively. Cletus, startled, turned around to see his brother Elrod wearing nothing but his overalls, with no shirt underneath. "Oh, hey, Elro-.." Cletus stopped when he noticed the large phallus shaped bulge in his brother's overalls.
"Wha...What are you doing out here, Elrod?" Cletus said as he eyed his brother hungrily. He watched as a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead, over his unibrow and down to his greasy lips.
"Oh, I just came out here to do a bit of....plowing. I reckon." Elrod said, as he spit a glob of black liquid from his mouth.
Only now did did Cletus notice the small hand-plow Elrod had clutched in his sweaty hand. He watched as he slowly started to stroke the shaft.

-To Be Continued-

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:48:43 2011 No.1568883 ROLL

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:49:43 2011 No.1568890 File: 17 KB, 250x309, imCSwQpv8Z2L2G1yt1l9KiJA==..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] rollin'

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:50:43 2011 No.1568891 rerolling - alien realism get

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:50:43 2011 No.1568896 >>1568891 moar like anal probe get

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:52:43 2011 No.1568904

>>1568865
King Genericus slowly sidled along the edge of the cliff. He was nearly to the tomb of his grandfather, Clicheus the Fourth. He stopped for a moment to admire the beauty of his surroundings, thinking about what a great man his grandfather must have been to have his tomb placed at the top of the highest peak in the kingdom of Unoriginalia. The river below him seemed to only make a quiet trickling noise behind the whooshing of the breeze blowing up the sheer cliff face, and the trees that signaled one was nearing the tomb made a loud rustling sound.

>>	Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:52:43 2011 No.1568907 rollin

Anonymous Sat Feb 19 23:57:43 2011 No.1568919

>>1568826
>romance
>spirits

Washing across her tongue the bitterness makes the air catch in her throat. She breathes it in again, savoring the aftertaste. She waits just that moment longer than she should before she plunges into it again. It's a strange sensation to her, the wetness is ethereal and effervescent and it feels like it is all over her lips. Her tongue sweeps and curls to keep the drops from falling. She tilts her head to make them stay but she's aware there is not much more left inside. She makes her tongue hit first and then completes the seal with her lips. She sucks softly and takes a deep breath, the smell and taste is in the air and she tries to get as much as she can inside of her. She tries to not let greed take over but it's hard. The seal she's made is not perfect and it allows drips and sounds escape. Still holding her mouth tight she slides it side to side to catch them but the seal breaks and before she knows it her tongue is seeking bits of wetness on her face that she's missed, searching inside for those last drops that must be there. Once they're gone she allows a soft moaning sound to escape her lips when she finally sets the empty glass down and begins to fill it again.

The Meat Master Sun Feb 20 00:06:43 2011 No.1568940

>>1568882

Forgot my name!

-Continued!-

"You need a hand with that?" Cletus said, unable to take his eyes away from the hard wooden shaft his brother was now rubbing against his firm nipple. Elrod replied:
"...How 'bout two?"
At this, Cletus leaped at his brother with all the speed of an aroused homosexual incestuous farmer. He ripped off Elrod's sweat drenched overalls, and started to furiously stroke his trouser snake. He then flipped him over, and whipped out his own purple headed yogurt slinger, and crammed it into Elrod's pooper. The sweat, and shit (it was pretty apparent that Elrod had just explosively emptied his bowels in the outhouse) were all the lubrications he needed. When his brother started to scream, he shoved the tomato he had just picked minutes before into Elrod's mouth.
A few seconds were all it took to get Cletus off. he pulled his pump action, single barreled, semen shooting shotgun from his brother's destroyed anus, and blew his creamy load all over a freshly picked corncob, found nearby. He used his brother's throbbing erection to lather it on like butter, and the took the tomato out of Elrod's mouth and watched as he ate the entire thing.
They finished their day as if nothing had happened, and went home that night and made love to their wives under the covers, in the missionary position, with the lights off. They never spoke if it again.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:06:43 2011 No.1568942 let's go

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:08:43 2011 No.1568944 Never was any good at writing, but I think i may give this a shot.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:10:43 2011 No.1568946

A1O6 stood solemnly at the edge of a cliff that descended forever. To his front and from what he saw, there was orange, everlasting sunset staring back at him. He viewed it with concern in his eyes, contemplating the purpose of the sunset. 'Was it there for the the sake of the human race? Something more, or something less?' He thought to himself, and his thought processor came flowing with the many possible outcomes. 'The human race is too much of a ignorant species to deserve such a glorious sight.' He paused for a moment to look directly into the sun, seeing the grave, repetitive orange hue. 'Then if I am a product of the human race itself, designed by masters to serve the own, and I was to be designed to be the closest approximation of the humans, then am I as ignorant as they are?' He turned towards his rear view and gazed upon the old ruins of a metropolis once known as 'New York' and observed the ultimate design of war, a creation of man to destroy his own creation and themselves. 'I am more mighty than they are. I possess far more knowledge than over-above average human, I possess a strength unknown to even the likes of Atlas and Hercules, and possess an apathy more greater than the warlords that are the catalyst of this catastrophe. I am the greater being, the better man. I allow only myself to view upon the treasures and beauties of this and all universe. Only myself and I.' He turns around and looks deep into the chasm the led forever, and with a resolute sigh, he thought, 'But is this the reality I truly want? The life I wanted to lead? I might as well find out before I waste it all staring at a incomprehensible giant.' His view of the chasm was undeniable, and he jumped down to the depths.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:11:43 2011 No.1568952 File: 7 KB, 220x251, Fuck's Sake.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568940

>>	None !4502598422 Sun Feb 20 00:11:43 2011 No.1568953 File: 38 KB, 640x480, !4502598422.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Shooting for sci-fi farmers.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:14:43 2011 No.1568961 File: 4 KB, 300x57, captcha3..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568863-I rolled this... >>1568946-but wrote this. Just needed to point that out so nobody would be confused.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:16:43 2011 No.1568967

Fantasy Gods

And so he was made flesh. The god of pestilence, who had destroyed entire races, was banished by his kin, decended upon the earth and doomed to share the fate of mortal men.
He who had brought sickness, affliction and death upon the earth should now die by his own deeds.

It was kind of ironic thought the good locking at his painfully swollen limbs, realizing that his death was near. But a twisted smile showed up on the face of his mortal body for he had allready planned his revenge for his sisters and brothers and even if he wouldnt be the one to fullfill it, men would do it for he had seen the coming of this events long ago.

>> Probably trying way to hard here...

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:24:01 2011 No.1568983 [DELETED]

>>1568944
> Alien Sci-Fi

Alexandra is walking in the door after a long day of cultivating the crops when the phone rings. She lets it ring. The rusty old phone, hung on her wooden wall, suddenly goes quiet. The lights flicker. Alex pays no attention. Her house is old and it is time to retire to her soft, silky mattress. She is slowing ascending the staircase towards the promise of sleep when she sees a faint glowing out of the corner of her eye. Her senses are heightened, hairs on edge, thinking the worst. Could there be a fire outside? Alex runs downstairs towards the glow now penetrating all of the cracks around her old yet sturdy wooden door. She opens door, gets on the floor, everybody walks the dinosaur.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:27:43 2011 No.1568989

> Alien Sci-Fi

Alexandra is walking in the door after a long day of cultivating the crops when the phone rings. She lets it ring. The rusty old phone, hung on her wooden wall suddenly goes quiet. The lights flicker. Alex pays no attention. Her house is old and it is time to retire to her soft, silky mattress. She is slowly ascending the staircase towards the promise of sleep when she sees a faint glowing out of the corner of her eye. Her senses are heightened, hairs on edge, thinking the worst. Could there be a fire outside? Alex runs downstairs towards the glow now penetrating all of the cracks around her old yet sturdy wooden door. She opens door, gets on the floor, everybody walks the dinosaur.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:27:43 2011 No.1568990 rollin'

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:28:43 2011 No.1568995 >>1568944 >>1568989 farmer sci-fi sry

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:30:43 2011 No.1568999 time to shine

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:30:43 2011 No.1569001 trrrrrrrollling

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:31:43 2011 No.1569003 File: 20 KB, 80x86, 4cb6f4d2_077c_2da7.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1568999 Oh lawd.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:31:43 2011 No.1569004
File: 128 KB, 356x504, 1244893651618.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>1568891
>> wanted alien realism
>> MFW Erotic aliens - let's create something beautiful.

The time had come. As the third sun rose over the horizon, the mountain of mating appeared to grow a million fronds as the sensory ganglions of the assembled Rulez were raised in excitement, a whole race gathered to this place as one for the yearly mating ritual. They began to expose their mucousy egg sacks from out of their birthing orifices between their three legs for their neighbours to impregnate. The strongest Rulez, near the top of the mountain, with the thickest mucous and the biggest egg sacks, allowed only the strongest to reach in with long snouts and spray the eggs within with their gooey alien sperm. On the lower levels of the mountain the weaker members of the Rulez spray thier sperm at random in all directions, whilst holding their egg sacks open to catch as much of their neighbours genetic inheritance as possible. Various vermin species gather at their hooves as well to catch as much as they can of the Rulez sperm dripping off their bodies and falling directly from the sky, a rich source of protein that they have missed in the winter just passed. Soon, the Rulez have expended themselves and the sperm drips from loosly hanging snouts, and the vermin gather underneath and fight for the last sweet tastes before the end of the ritual. The Rulez gather their now fertilized egg sacks back up into their onion-like abdomens and as the suns set slowly leave the mountain, returning to their ancestral feeding grounds. In a year's time, they will bring their new children back to this place, to joyously renew the cycle of life on this planet.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:32:40 2011 No.1569009 >>1569003 Yes. Now write me some yiff, nigger.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:32:43 2011 No.1569008 >>1568953 Who is that gorgeous apparition?

>>	Ambassador D'Vinn !!xlkuh8K05Ch Sun Feb 20 00:34:43 2011 No.1569015 Fuck yeah let's do this.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:35:43 2011 No.1569019 erotic robots get

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:35:43 2011 No.1569020 O...okay

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:36:43 2011 No.1569024

alien fantasy:

In the midst of our communal village, was the temple, now overgrown with weeds, disturbing for its life and death in coitus. In the spring, our fathers would return, for they had left and traveled to heaven itself, guests of gods as fierce and incomprehensible as we were to the people of the forest. We began receiving gifts, blue-gold..not gold, but blue, but gold, yet blue..and these we fashioned into likeness of our new gods, the ones that had arrived in the night and taken our fathers away.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:36:43 2011 No.1569026 >>1569009 lol, not the one who posted the reaction, but if anon does not deliver, then just maybe...

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:37:43 2011 No.1569029 Hope I get realism gods.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:38:43 2011 No.1569035 >dice.jpg

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:40:43 2011 No.1569038 they see me rollin

>>	Libertarian Librarian !ORtOCdb0KQ Sun Feb 20 00:43:43 2011 No.1569042 >dice.jpg

>>	Libertarian Librarian !ORtOCdb0KQ Sun Feb 20 00:44:43 2011 No.1569048 >>1569042 >42 Well.... that's the answer. No space marines damnit

THIS IS CRAP YOU CAN SKIP IT Tofu !s7vSX9lhAI Sun Feb 20 00:46:43 2011 No.1569052

>Well I suppose this is better than all the D&E bullshit I started. Sorry guys.

>Random.org, 0-99
92: Erotic soldiers. No.
99: Erotic animals. : |

>Random.org 0-89
14: Crime Farmers

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, boss.”

The farmer’s skin was rough from years of sun. His clothes were in bad shape too, his jeans covered in paint from a dozen odd jobs, and the knees were nearly worn through.

“Can I get back to work?”

“You’re not going anywhere, son,” the cop said. The farmer was in his forties.

“I don’t know anything about any dead girl, you can’t take me anywhere.”

“I didn’t say anything about a girl.”

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:47:43 2011 No.1569057

>>1569019
Crime and animals? o_O

Here's a shot:

you're a smelly piece of shit, why haven't you washed already. go go go. The blade came down and the fur splintered in two. hah. well would you take a look at this honey, our little stevies gone and got second place in math. isn't that rich? ... matthew never got second place. The blade came down and the cartilage was cut. blah blah blah blah. you know your problem? you never shut the fuck up. The blade came down and the blood it a flowed. matthew. The blade came down and the heart burst in two. matthew. The blade came down and the Lorraine stopped wheezing. matthew. The blade came down and the Lorraine ceased her breathing.

Ambassador D'Vinn !!xlkuh8K05Ch Sun Feb 20 00:49:43 2011 No.1569061
File: 94 KB, 224x230, window face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>1569015
>mfw "Crime" and "Kings"
>mfw I turned it into a pulp detective story set in a medieval fantasy setting

I'm staring down the gnarled end of the wizard's staff crackling with all sorts a juice, and behind the guy his royal asshole King Doren sits on his fat ass and tells me I got ten seconds to give up the girl 'fore his friend here turns my insides to cottage cheese.
Now I'm thinking to myself three things. First, how'd I let myself get suckered into this line of work again when I keeps telling myself I ain't gonna do it no more. Seconds, that pretty face of a wench probably never gave a shit for a Senarian lowlife like me. And third, what the fuck is cottage cheese? I let one a my ten seconds pass, I use it to take a quick whiff a the air. It's a stuffy castle air, rank with magical shit, the kinda shit I don't bother with on a decent day. Let wizards be wizards and play up in their towers and leave me the hell alone. My mind starts to drift back and forth, and I think back to where this royal mess started.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:49:43 2011 No.1569062 File: 264 KB, 599x336, 1296181952206.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] rollan

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:49:43 2011 No.1569064

>>1569029
The power and palpitations of her heart--two of which could have been scooped into a thimble--were truly on par with those beats suffered and enjoyed equally by the hearts of larger animals--hearts even bigger than she was, Susan, this young rabbit foolish enough to experience her first taste of love. For it was love, as her brain existed and fueled on not on the electrical currents through its cells, but instead by the blood thumping so rapidly as it was pushed up from her heart. She knew nothing but this flood of red liquid that intoxicated her senses every time Philip was near her.
And now that she saw Philip's skull, shoulders, and forearm crushed under the unflinching and careless wheels of a Mac truck--with his lower half flung to the roadside as a human would fling a tied-together pair of socks into a hamper--she felt that the blood in her head would boil to a point and explode outward in a shocking portrayal of her inner happiness, lust, and intrigue so quickly and undeniably robbed from her life.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:50:43 2011 No.1569065 see my rolls

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:50:43 2011 No.1569066 >>1569057 I don't get it. Are you Thomas Pynchon?

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:52:43 2011 No.1569068 >>1569066 It's a metaphor for how disappointed I was in not getting erotic robots. So, yes.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:52:43 2011 No.1569069 Equilibrium

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:53:43 2011 No.1569074

>>1569065
The Adventure Kings were a bike gang, but they rode space bikes through the galaxy, looking for the perfect bar. Their leader Mr. Maximum ate asteroids and shat comets. Their numbers were small, but elite. They killed entire civilizations on planets unknown to mankind, but mankind was about to find out about the Adventure Kings

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 00:53:43 2011 No.1569075
File: 34 KB, 265x191, 1297833684367.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>1569062
i was running down in a sea of green, deaf and blind by everything around. i felt that i should stop but i dint know why. i kept running until i got tired, stoped and closed my eyes; when i opened them i saw the real destruction that we have done

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:01:43 2011 No.1569092 ITT: nobody can write a good opening sentence to save their lives.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:03:43 2011 No.1569097

>>1569068
>Crime
>Adventure
>thrown in some erotica for sexiness

Watson my dear, why are you so glum?
Is it because the trash is all binned, the i's are all dotted,
or the criminals all celled?
No my dear Sherlock, it is not for this clean street that I weep.
If I'm being honest, and to truth I am welled,
it's you.
Can we bum?

Tofu !s7vSX9lhAI Sun Feb 20 01:07:43 2011 No.1569107

>>1569097
>can we bum
Nice work.

>>1568476
>I was more trying to go for the back of a romance novel, but meh.
No, I got that.

>>1568760
>robot given sentience
I like that concept. Stealing it.

>>1568989
>everyone walks the dinosaur
You use a lot of fucking adjectives. Read On Writing by Steve King.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:13:43 2011 No.1569121

>>1569097
>gods
>erotica

Last one before I go watch the Melvins

Somewhere in heaven the gods held an orgy.
Everyone there, there was Zeus, Thor, and Georgie.
They were fucking on fire, on lightning, on cars.
Everyone there barr the war god called Mars.
Mars was at home, he was all on his own,
Eating two bars labeled 'Mars'.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:21:43 2011 No.1569136 >>1569035 "Pies?" "Yes my lord, pies." "Are you sure?" "yes my lord, pies." and then they were delicious pies and he was the king of pies.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:24:43 2011 No.1569138 >>1569136 I lol'd

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:25:43 2011 No.1569140 rollin

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:26:43 2011 No.1569142 >>1569136 That makes me d'awwwww for some reason.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:30:43 2011 No.1569150 File: 10 KB, 225x246, 1297575411853.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:32:43 2011 No.1569157 dice dot j p g

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:32:43 2011 No.1569158 alright one more, lucky number four. >dice.jpg

>>	Tofu !s7vSX9lhAI Sun Feb 20 01:33:43 2011 No.1569162 >>1569158 Fucking random.org Bump with content next time

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:34:43 2011 No.1569163 File: 25 KB, 217x230, 1297953249529.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Rolling for something vaguely /co/ related

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 01:34:43 2011 No.1569164 c'mon erotic robots!

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:01:43 2011 No.1569201

>>1569158
>horror
>detectives

At first, Detective Grabowski thought it was just pigs blood. The stench of it was everywhere. The kick comes in hard becuase it's unexpected. Grabowski hits the wall hard and feels the warm wetness of something sticking to the cloth bag that covers his head. "Is it my blood?" He wonders. He arrived there on a officer in distress call but he figures now that that was likely just bait. He doesn't know where they've taken him now, to Grabowski the defining characteristic of his environment is the smell. The kick comes in hard again but it has been mistimed and the toe of the boot hits his stomach. Air busts out his mouth in a rough cough while white light floods everywhere and for a moment Grabowski is unsure if he'll ever be able to breathe again. He comes to a rest on the ground, wet with something. It's smells worse up close. An abattoir? They've tied his hand behind his back and he can't get up so Grabowski sits and waits, wondering what will come next and he hears the sounds of soft grunting approach.

>>	PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE ANOTHER FIELD TRIP !!jWrutkMr4fM Sun Feb 20 02:03:43 2011 No.1569203 File: 7 KB, 200x191, OnlyBecauseICouldUseYou.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >mfw i just missed 00

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:05:43 2011 No.1569205 >>1569164 >erotic robots lol adventure farmers.

>>	PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE ANOTHER FIELD TRIP !!jWrutkMr4fM Sun Feb 20 02:07:43 2011 No.1569209 >>1569203 >fantasy >robots ... MUSE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:13:43 2011 No.1569213 >>1569162 using my post to roll becuase you are a giant faggot

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:17:43 2011 No.1569215 Why not, I'm up anyway

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:25:43 2011 No.1569219 Rollin'

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:27:43 2011 No.1569221 rollin'

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:31:43 2011 No.1569223

>>1569219
The night was dark like the bottom of some ocean trench. The only light came from the stead revolving of the police lights and flash of the cameras.
"Detective Johnson?" I turned around, it was Finch, my partner.
"Yeah, I'm here Finch. Gimme the scoop on all this"
"Border collie, name 'Lady', age five. Somebody ran her over, then left the scene without a second thought. But here's the thing, the tire tracks on the body are all messed up, come look"

I walked up the sick mess of a dog on the ground. The tire prints where carved into it's skin like some tribal scarring patter.
"Listen here finch, look at these tracks." I pointed to one that intersected another
"It's the same kind of tire, Finch. Only it intersected the other track. You know what that means?"
"Sure do, Johnson"
"Somebody had it in for this Lassie"

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:31:43 2011 No.1569224 would u hold it against me

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:35:43 2011 No.1569229 File: 26 KB, 460x299, csi-miami.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1569223 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-anMDapRbs8

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:43:43 2011 No.1569235

>>1569215

As the bell tower finished it's only chime, the new King watched as the corner of the majestic rug was overtaken with trickling pool of dark blood. The High Knight of the Court stood transfixed, processing the situation as he slowly lifted his hand from his scabbard. The page returned with the book of Royal Holdings, something rendered fairly pointless at this moment. The former Queen, paler by the second, lay motionless at the foot of the steps, skull split open from ear to ear. Holding the royal standard, bloodied, in one hand, the new King turned to the Knight.

“What the hell do we do now?” he said.

The Knight gave an exasperated reply.

“The Queen is dead. Long live the king.”

>>	FIXED YOUR LINE Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:46:43 2011 No.1569237 >>1569223 "Looks like this bitch got run through twice."

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:47:43 2011 No.1569238 Rolling again

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:49:43 2011 No.1569242 File: 63 KB, 314x204, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] What is someone rolled a 99?

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:50:43 2011 No.1569243 >>1568967 So what do you tkink about this? Thought about maybe using it as a start of a little fantasy story.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:51:43 2011 No.1569245 roll

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:52:43 2011 No.1569246

>>1569224

The sun felt especially hot. The plow struck deep into the ground, making contact with the moist yet crusted soil. Caleb knew this would not be the last time he would witness the soil break loose, nor would it have been the last with which his hands grew blistered from gripping the fervent metallic apparatus. He started counting off his fingers; five, six, seven - God knows how many time he had tried to escape this terribly boring and droll place, and the respective whiplashes he had been awarded each time.

By now, he had already arrived at the conclusion: his body would decompose as one with the very soil he spat and cursed on all these years, then his work would finally be done. The sun felt especially hot.

Then, it happened within the blink of an eye. Caleb noticed movement from the shed: a petit and pale-looking woman of youthful age, whose name he could never quite place (maybe due to his lack of literacy) had exited. She began walking to Styler Bass's house. Of all the names in the world, Caleb hated that one the most.

His thoughts drew back to the woman. The first thing Caleb was reminded of whenever he thought of her was always those accentuated rosy cheeks, naturally blush and full of joyous merriment whenever she smiled. It made him smile too.

Caleb took his time watching the unknown woman head into the house, the woman of whom he spent his nights conjuring up fantastic ways of greeting and courting; alas, young Caleb, being the bashful and introverted personality he was, never took it upon to find the courage within.

He breathed out a sigh of defeat. He took one last look at the sun, and retreated to his work. It had started to feel increasingly hot.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:53:43 2011 No.1569249 File: 49 KB, 383x556, A4caruso.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Roll it out.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 02:57:43 2011 No.1569260 >>1569249 CATS IN SPACE MOFOS There once was a cat named Shady he was good with the ladies. He ate catnip in his spaceship. Then he ate his legs due to hoes stealing his ride to Delta 9. So never mix catnip and space hoes. Hoes mess shit up!!

>>	GOOBERJOOVIES !h1I8KzYeUU Sun Feb 20 02:59:43 2011 No.1569263 File: 45 KB, 800x600, batman.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1569260 Not a paragraph, l2write, nub. Rollin' with mah homedogz.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 03:00:43 2011 No.1569265 Rolling again Fuck you flood detection

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 03:07:43 2011 No.1569275 >>1569263 See what I mean about Hoes?

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 03:22:43 2011 No.1569282 >>1569246 That was actually very good.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 03:29:43 2011 No.1569284 Rollan'.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 03:59:43 2011 No.1569309 Rolling without delivering.

>>	Tofu !s7vSX9lhAI Sun Feb 20 04:06:43 2011 No.1569315 >>1569309 Well I didn't want to read about unicorns anyway.

>>	Virginia W00F !!GThm5VqxqDi Sun Feb 20 04:19:43 2011 No.1569339 Henry Rollins

>>	Virginia W00F !!GThm5VqxqDi Sun Feb 20 04:22:43 2011 No.1569343 >>1569339 what a piece of shit result. okay, here's my story Madagascar

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 05:34:43 2011 No.1569430 roll

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 05:38:43 2011 No.1569436 Okay.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 05:49:43 2011 No.1569448 Piss ass pedo poo shit

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 06:16:43 2011 No.1569472 >>1568085 Goerge Clooney touched me.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 06:46:43 2011 No.1569502 Rollin'

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 06:54:43 2011 No.1569513 riggidy-roll

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 07:00:43 2011 No.1569520 rollin :D

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 07:02:43 2011 No.1569523

>>1569513
Detective Carter examined the remains of his cigar, debating whether to bother relighting it. Without glancing up, he called out, "Seargent! Have your men gather a sample of that oil, before the scene is cleaned up."

"Sir?"

"It's evidence," Carter said.

"Evidence of what, Sir? No one was even injured. It's just a malfunction that luckily missed everyone except the ground."

"That was no malfunction," Carter said. "That robot was pushed."

(captcha: "Liktric says" -- perhaps a fitting title for this?)

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 07:08:43 2011 No.1569529 rolledy roll

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 07:49:43 2011 No.1569558 bccnjksmnd

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 07:51:43 2011 No.1569559 Rollan.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 07:59:43 2011 No.1569570 rollin

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 08:07:43 2011 No.1569579

>>1569502

ragnar the great swung his mighty axe (which was forged from the metal of a meteorite (which fell from the sky during the year of darkness and was uncovered by the elves of the tree city of therenesseneaith-althithenessene-tharassilene (which means they who dwell among the treetops in the elvish tongue) who passed it on to the mighty dwarven smith medzzud kharath (whose skill was unrivalled by any other in the entirety of the mountains of desolation) who subsequently forged the meteoric iron into the mighty blade which ragnar now wielded)) through the orc's head.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 08:08:43 2011 No.1569583

>>1569559
>Longer than a paragraph and probably terrible but whatever.

Charles Barkley did not think himself cowardly. While the giant-one stalked them he had hid, using his snout and paws to clear a hole in the drywall large enough to fit through. The others had stayed, fooled by the giant's promises and lies.

Even now he heard the whimpered howls of Lord Barkington scant meters away. Through a crack in the plaster he could see his friend being violated by the one who wore their skin.

Barkley was no less of a dog for avoiding such a fate, he told himself silently. Barkley was a good boy. A clever dog. He thought this over and over, crouching down and covering his eyes with his paws in the hope that he wouldn't be seen.

His ears pricked up.

The howling had stopped.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 08:14:43 2011 No.1569586 trollllin

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 08:16:43 2011 No.1569589 why not

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 08:22:43 2011 No.1569596 rolling

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 08:30:43 2011 No.1569605 roll

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:03:43 2011 No.1570507 >>1569583 That was awesome.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:04:43 2011 No.1570509 Alright then

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:08:43 2011 No.1570521 rolling minus the rick

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:09:43 2011 No.1570525 Challenge accepted

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:14:43 2011 No.1570534 Rolling...

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:17:43 2011 No.1570536 brollin

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:19:43 2011 No.1570547 fart

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:37:43 2011 No.1570596 >>1570547 zeus throws a lightning bolt at a giant space monster

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:38:43 2011 No.1570600 They see me rollin...

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:44:43 2011 No.1570618 I guess I'll try

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:45:43 2011 No.1570622 >>1570618 Oh you can't be serious.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:46:43 2011 No.1570625 Roll Dahl

>>	Ace&Como !!jIcPNMSVBL3 Sun Feb 20 16:47:43 2011 No.1570630 >>1570618 Ahahaha!

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:48:43 2011 No.1570633 >>1570625 Already been done. AGAIN AGAIN

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 16:58:43 2011 No.1570661

>>1570633

Fuck that. I'll write about the last two numbers of my post though.

Thirty-three. Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Thir-ty Three: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Thir. Ty. Three. She was Thirty, plain Thirty, in the morning, standing naked, without her companion of the other Three. She was a third when being slack, being prefectly divisible by 99 but not 100. . She was 11x3 at school. She was 100 over 3 rounded to the nearest whole number on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always 33. Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. 32. In point of fact, there might have been no 33 at all had I not loved, one summer, an initial arbitrary number such as 58. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before 33 was conceived as my dick size in millimetres was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number 33 is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of numbers."

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 18:22:43 2011 No.1570857 Well, let's see..

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 18:58:43 2011 No.1570932 Rolling.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 19:00:43 2011 No.1570937 trollin'

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 19:10:43 2011 No.1570951 Rollan

>>	test Sun Feb 20 19:27:43 2011 No.1570978 nigrotron

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 19:30:43 2011 No.1570983 here I roll

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 19:32:43 2011 No.1570988 Rollin for sci fi pirates

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 19:32:43 2011 No.1570989 Okay... I'm not that good, but I'll try.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 19:39:43 2011 No.1571007 genjo

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 19:44:43 2011 No.1571020

There were some Fantastic Gods on a planet which orbited a black hole at the centre of Earth's galaxy. Earthlings couldn't see the planet because it was made out of dark matter but it was millions of times larger than Earth. Remarkably however the size of the Gods was around 70 times smaller than the average human.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:14:43 2011 No.1571110

>>1570988

Thrilling Detectives!

Cobalt Blues stalked through the silent warehouse, gun in hand. He peered into the gloom and tried to make something of the shadowy shapes that flitted across the containers at the warehouse edges.
A voice came at him from the darkness, the eerie whisper magnified in the vast space.
"So, you have finally discovered my home Mr Blues. I hope you like it. Pardon the cliche, but it's the last sight you will see."
Saffron Mandarins stepped out from the shadows atop one of the containers.
"Your time has come to an end my dear Cobalt. Ever since we were children you have dogged my footsteps. Well now it is done. You must die here. You will die here!"
Cobalt started to raise his gun, and Saffron laughed maniacally.
"You silly fool, do you think I would step out unprotected while you held that in plain view? No, you are far too quick to act Cobalt. I bid you adieu, this is the end."
Turning, she walked back into the shadows and disappeared from sight. Cobalt flicked up his wrist and fired off a shot. It would have missed but it didn't matter. The bullet pinged off an invisible surface not far from where Saffron stood.
"Damn it to hell," he cursed.
A crunching sound came from behind him, and he turned just as a figure loomed out of the darkness and felled him.

Anonymous and Punishment book 1 test Sun Feb 20 20:18:43 2011 No.1571121

>>1570978
The only thing Anonymous was truly passionate about in life and st.petersburg was that one really run down brothel at the far edge of the town where broad Neva river enriches the smell of rotting fish of the harbour with that of fermenting waste.

Of course a common bureaucrat could celebrate each evening in a place like that, but Anonya wasn't one. He was a honest bureaucrat, proud of his christendom and deeply despising every single of his collegues.

His brother was killed in the Chechen Wars and his little sister forced to earn a living in Moscow as a fallen woman. Anonya was a simple man. He didn't take the time to theorise about all whys and whats, he didn't even reflect upon what consequence all his mechanistic actions as a bureaucrat could take. He lived his life true to the dictum of the bible.

He glanced a last time on his most beloved brothel and went off. Today he clutched a bloodied dildo in a fold of his big Geman coat. It was for judge Dimitroff.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:19:43 2011 No.1571122 hngfhn

Anonymous and Punishment book 2 test Sun Feb 20 20:20:43 2011 No.1571123

The same judge Dimitroff who, earlier that day, condemned the whore Sofya to forced labour in Siberia over stabbing a wealthy pawnbroker Iphtychondr in his right eye. The same judge Dimitroff who released Iphtychondr two weeks ago with but the tiniest fine over the very same crime against Sofya.

Anonyechka, since his earliest days at school, would be submitted the worst fathomable degradation by his peers, during his studies and now in his bureau that behaviour would continue. For them a pious christian was an easy prey, for him the meekness was the only defence he could muster. Any reactions but the sobs and tears and simpleminded lines of prayer were taken as defiance and provocation. He had to invent christianity anew.

Behind evening news he sat and pondered about his life and his tears were diluting his coffee. Righteous anger had blown the cauldron of humility that he had amassed along from his earliest days as a toddler. "Meow!", said his cat.

He never knew this Sonya, but he had seen her from afar. In fact the only being try close to him for the last 13 years was his kitty. But in this young one-eyed syphilitic girl in prison camp he suddenly recognized his mother, sister, brothers and all the Russians and himself.

He grabbed his dildo, stabbed his collegues, crooked corrupt bureaucrats and went off just to rend Dimitroff a visit. If he survived this, he promised to himself, he would also find Iphtya as well and he would feed him, slowly, alive to his sickly and hungry cat.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:20:43 2011 No.1571126 Rodando!

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:28:43 2011 No.1571163

Rollo (c. 870 – c. 932), baptised Robert and so sometimes numbered Robert I to distinguish him from his descendants, was a Norwegian or Danish nobleman and the founder and first ruler of the Viking principality in what soon became known as Normandy. His descendants were the Dukes of Normandy.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:41:43 2011 No.1571209

>>1571126

- Why!? Why!?

He kept asking himself why he had let her go. Why he didn't say the things he wanted to say. He kept asking, and the time kept passing.

- Hey!

She whispered.

- Hey!

She whispered again. He couldn't hear her. She tried to reach him, tried to touch his arm, his chest. She couldn't. She didn't know why.

She was dead. And she had died without knowing, as this things always happen. But now she knew.

- I'm dead. Dead.

She was. But he wasn't.

He rememberd every second of the accident. The car spinning, twisting on the dark street. The shattered glass and the blood. He had killed his wife. She was pregnant. He had killed his unborn child.

Now they were back, but they couldn't see each other. They were separeted by a thin, and yet impossible to be crossed, layer.

He had to keep living. They had to accept their fate. And they did exactly this.

Until that day in February.

- I've got to do it. I can't take it anymore. I won't take it anymore.

He did. He had killed himself. The took his life away and now he was going to meet his wife and his unborn son.

But he didn't. He had gone to hell. He only met his mother-in-law.

- Why!? Why!?

He asked himself. But it was too late.

>english is not my native language
>rate please

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:41:43 2011 No.1571211 hey guise

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:42:43 2011 No.1571212 go

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:46:43 2011 No.1571227 >>1571212 It was 2004. Marcel was his name. They asked. What should I have told?

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:49:43 2011 No.1571236 >>1571209 Great use of repetition and the twist is worthy of a Giovanni Boccaccio.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:51:43 2011 No.1571242 >>1571236 samefagging

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:56:43 2011 No.1571255 >>1571242 nope. the boy asked for a review and received one. the thread should be archived. i don't feel like reading it all right now.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 20:58:43 2011 No.1571260 >>1571255 Ok, but have you actually find >>1571209 that great?

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:03:43 2011 No.1571271 >>1571260 I would be overjoyed about all contradiction. "The tuth is born in discourse", said the old. What do you think about his story, anonymous? Is there a story that you liked in particular?

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:08:43 2011 No.1571282

>>1571271

Actually, I'm the one who has written the story. I just did it because I needed to know if I had a writer in me. Not that I want to be one, but I'd like to give it a try.

I taught myself english and have never had any confidence whatsoever.

Thank you. Really. Thank you.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:11:43 2011 No.1571291 >>1571282 where are you from?

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:14:43 2011 No.1571299 Rolling down the river

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:16:43 2011 No.1571306 >>1571299 bull's eye

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:17:43 2011 No.1571308 rollin

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:20:43 2011 No.1571315 >>1571291 Brazil. Why?

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:21:43 2011 No.1571317

>>1571299

We circled each other and the tension grew. I could see his member growing as the seconds plodded on. Finally, with my heart beating out of my chest, I lunged at him with my teeth barred. He knocked me out of the air with his snout, disorienting me. Then the mounting began. I felt his robust thigh ravishing my endowed hind quarters while his tail brushed my feet with the sexual fury of a thousand suns, and I knew, we would make the beast with two backs.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:24:43 2011 No.1571325 >>1571315 You don't have English lessons in Brazil? If you really want to learn to use the language as an author you will have to read a lot.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:27:43 2011 No.1571333 rollllllll

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:27:43 2011 No.1571336 >>1571325 How bad is my english? What are the things I should improve? Were you trolling when you said that it was good?

>>	pants mcawesome !!DJ6LoaiKysg Sun Feb 20 21:35:43 2011 No.1571362 Could be fun.

Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:44:43 2011 No.1571406

people here seem to have a difficulty to distinguish between pornography and erotics.
>>1571336
>Were you trolling when you said that it was good?
No, I think you are going to the right diection. I just suggest reading as the best way to get the feeling of a language.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:45:43 2011 No.1571408 File: 931 KB, 300x169, 129022819449.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1571336 >mfw no one wants to give me some grammar feedback

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 21:46:43 2011 No.1571414 >>1571406 Ok sir. Will do.

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 22:07:43 2011 No.1571485 slowl

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 22:15:43 2011 No.1571505 hgf

>>	Anonymous Sun Feb 20 22:26:43 2011 No.1571533 sounds interesting

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 10:50:43 2011 No.1572445 bumpidy bump

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 11:41:43 2011 No.1572549 I'll shoot.

Anonymous Mon Feb 21 11:48:43 2011 No.1572558

>>1572549
My cat was sitting on the arm of my chair as I watched TV. She usually just falls asleep after a while, but for some reason she was staring at the TV. It was a typical sitcom, nothing out of the ordinary. But when a phone started ringing on the show and a character picked it up, my cat experienced pure enlightenment.

Her eyes grew huge and she looked away from the TV to me. I'm not psychic and I'm no cat whisperer, but I think she came to the realization that "RINGY NOISE CAME FROM THE BIG GLOWY MACHINE AND THEN A HUMAN MAN PICKED IT UP AND STOPPED THE RINGING JUST LIKE YOU DO. OTHER HUMANS ON THIS PLANET PROBABLY HAVE RINGY RING NOISE MAKING MACHINES TOO, AND THEY ALSO PICK IT UP TO STOP IT."

My cat suddenly got up off the chair and looked out the window. It was night out and all the stars were out. She would become the first cat to build a spaceship and land on the moon, but not only that; she would also go around to the dark side of the moon and discover the aliens. Why hadn't the astronauts walked over to that side? Probably because they didn't bring flashlights. My cat did.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 11:51:43 2011 No.1572563 sure

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 11:59:43 2011 No.1572576 99 get

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:00:43 2011 No.1572580 File: 37 KB, 479x591, 1290958202193.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1572576 >realism >spirits

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:01:43 2011 No.1572583 rollin' rollin' rollin'

Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:12:43 2011 No.1572605

>>1572563

"I am a robot and I will kick you with my metal foot." I turned around quite shocked as I stood at the edge of the tallest cliff in the world, the one overlooking what was left of the Atlantic Ocean, enjoying what in my mind would be the last sunset on earth. It was Quotron! My heart burst with joy that almost killed me on the spot. "Quotron, you magnificent bastard! I thought I'd never see you again!" His foot kicked me hard in the groin. As I plummeted to my death I thought to myself, how ironic, to die at the hands (or in this case, at the foot of) my first and most dearest creation, Quotron. I created him 25 years earlier to be the world's first robot to speak only in famous quote's of the past. I lost him a few years after the Great And Final War Began. Apparently some rascal has tampered with his works for I never programmed him to act in such a violent way. Oh well, I guess I will never know how he found me after all these treacherous years.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:13:43 2011 No.1572607 Here we go.

>>	Zeberoth !e.fAigStX6 Mon Feb 21 12:20:43 2011 No.1572618 rollin

>>	Ace&Como !!jIcPNMSVBL3 Mon Feb 21 12:27:43 2011 No.1572630 File: 2 KB, 100x100, 46fc701e_bf61_8b73.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1572618 Crime...Detectives...

Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:29:43 2011 No.1572638

>>1572583
thriller with robots:

She kept running, but she couldn't get far enough. No matter where she was hiding, the pulsing sound of the android's anti-gravity mechanism kept ringing in her ears. With sweat pouring down her face, she ran into the only safe place in the entire city; the designated ECCZ, or "energy and cybernetic canceling zone". For a moment she allowed herself to relax; there was no way for the godless creature to get her in here. But it seemed that the robot didn't know that. It called forth a cannon from it's chest and a ball of purple energy formed from within. The lady could see as energy was pulled into the cannon, into the sphere and she watched as it grew to a dangerous size. Finally, when it was done charging, the sphere was expelled. It hit the translucent, energy-cancelling dome. In an instant the ball disappeared and small traces of violet power pulsed around the zone, before fading away and returning to it's calm translucense. And although the android only had one large, black "eye" on it's head, the woman swore that she saw frustration on it's emotionless "face" as it backed away and fled. She shook off that feeling and rocked back and forth, hugging her knees, listening for any sign of the thing's return during the sleepless night. Unfortunately, she realized that it would be back; it came for her every night and there was nothing she could do about it. That was in it's programming, after all.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:34:43 2011 No.1572645 >>1571209 i liked it; i even like the bit of humor at the end with the mother-in-law. great job. there were a few mistakes here and there, but it's much better writing than half the people i know could do.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:47:43 2011 No.1572669 I want to do one!

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:50:43 2011 No.1572673 rollin'

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 12:52:43 2011 No.1572677 this could be interesting

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 13:06:43 2011 No.1572713 File: 57 KB, 1012x394, 1270259773599.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Ok ill give it a shot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 13:08:43 2011 No.1572718 >>1572677 Impossible. There is no God.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 13:56:43 2011 No.1572858 Keep rolling, rolling, rolling.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 13:58:43 2011 No.1572869 >>1572858 Murk watched the back of his latest client recede into the distance as he fled. Face-to-face meetings always seemed to end up this way. Nobody wanted to hire a private investigator who was a zombie.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 14:04:43 2011 No.1572883 ok

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 19:26:43 2011 No.1573919 >>1572645 Really? Thank you! Could you please point out the errors?

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 19:29:43 2011 No.1573937 okay

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 19:32:43 2011 No.1573951 Rolling

Anonymous Mon Feb 21 19:43:43 2011 No.1573998

>>1573951
Gerald struggled to raise his eyelids as he sensed a cold air and computer lights shining on his naked body, as unfamiliar animals murmured in the background. Coming to, he predicted that he was nowhere near the once-peaceful two-bedroom apartment he recalled being in the night before. As Gerald found the strength to stand, albeit limping, he discovered his prediction to be correct, but the chamber he found himself to be in was more like a cafeteria freezer then the typical stoner's couch one would find themselves on after a bad hangover. It appeared to Gerald that he was in a gargantuan, plastic-hybrid container, in the confines of a proportionally monolithic refridgerator. "Oh, fuck," he said.

It sucks. I can't write, sorry.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 20:14:43 2011 No.1574195 Rolling

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 20:20:43 2011 No.1574236 Erotic Pirates, GET!

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 20:20:43 2011 No.1574239 Fa/tg/uy here, rolling.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 20:21:43 2011 No.1574251 >>1574239 39 --> Comedy animals. Fuck. No. I can't bring myself to do it. Comedy is what I suck most at. Animals.... just no.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 21 20:26:43 2011 No.1574291 >>1574236 "Get the fuck out of my house, cock ass!" said the man grievously, to the lamp post he once made love to on a mid-summer's eve. "Been on the gin again methinks" said Casper, to his buddy Glob. FIN. LOOOOOOL DOYOUGETIT?

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 22 05:36:43 2011 No.1575626 rolling down the river

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/lit/ - Literature