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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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1558731 No.1558731 [Reply] [Original]

Post the most ridiculous thing you've heard in your English classes in a while.

I was sitting through a class on Regeneration and we did some work on this psychoanalytic theory by a women that said that the psychological symptoms of soldiers in the first world war were similar (or identical, I don't remember) to the symptoms of victorian housewives who suffered from hysteria. One of the reasons given was that the troops were in such confined spaces all the time and were powerless, like women.

I wasn't aware that victorian housewives were shot at and shelled relentlessly in their day-to-day lives as well.

>> No.1558736

I'm actually using Olly Moss' screen-printed posters as inspiration for a current project I'm working on.

>> No.1558737
File: 6 KB, 268x188, Moliereindrag.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1558737

>I don't like Madame Bovary, it's about romantic frustration

>> No.1558740

i heard a fart once

>> No.1558743

Also, just read your post.

A lot of it revolves around
>i dont like shakespeare lol he's boring

Will post some good ones if I remember.

>> No.1558746

Alice in Wonderland was an allegory for WW2

>> No.1558751

>>1558731
People get used to anything. We average our emotional reactions in certain ways

>> No.1558754

>>1558746
that's not funny

there's no way someone actually said that

>> No.1558759

the bible is a allegory for 9/11

>> No.1558768

That's probably why the poetry of that era was so evocative. Who could forget Wilfred Owen's stirring poem" What a wonderful thing it is to do the ironing and a bit of hoovering for ones country"
The irony of course is that the massive advances made in the field of reconstructive and plastic surgery following the carnage of WW1, were to ultimately benefit the uptight and self absorbed women of that era.

>> No.1558770

ancient civilizations were matriarchal because their mythologies involved creator goddesses. this was a time of gender equality and world peace but then the evil men came along and ruined it witht heir sexist and warmongering male gods and then the world went to shit

>> No.1558771

>>1558770
well said

>> No.1558787

brownbear is allegory for trollface

>> No.1558805

>>1558754
>>1558754

nope. they did.
not even joking
mfw people agreed until i just had to butt in and show them for the idiots they are

>> No.1558807

>>1558805
where the fuck do you go to school?

>> No.1558822

alice in wonderland is totally an allegory for wwii, and also the vietnam war

>> No.1558832

lots of garden variety misogyny itt

>> No.1558834

>>1558832
how do you choose when and when not to sound relevant?

>> No.1558835

>>1558832
you're going to have to identify it because I don't see any. bitch

>> No.1558838

Not English class, but I'd still like to share.

>majoring history
>first lecture
>professor starts talking about the holocaust
>girl next to me asks me: ''what's the holocaust''?

>> No.1558845

>>1558838
nigga, you best be trollin

>> No.1558849

>>1558838
what's the problem, it shows she's interested in learning

>> No.1558851

>>1558838

I refuse to believe it

>> No.1558854

Talking to the guy, mention George Orwell, wrote 1984 and Animal Farm. He doesn't know what they are, so I start to explain and a girl butts in to say Animal Farm was about the Holocaust.

>> No.1558856

>>1558822
Alice in Wonderland is an allegory for paedophillia - it was written in 1865 by a man who if he were alive today, would be in prison. tricky to compare that to a failed asion land war in the sixties but you go right ahead and give it a go sweetheart.

Good to see some hothouse variety misandry itt

Nice dubs btw

>> No.1558857
File: 60 KB, 401x434, anne_frank_3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1558857

>>1558838
>yfw she was a jew

>> No.1558859

>>1558856
pleasebetroll.jpg

>> No.1558861

>>1558807
>>1558807

a very shitty school.
the girl next to me in science asked if mammals existed or if they were just made up.

>> No.1558862

>>1558856
holy fuck shut up. everything about this post is wrong I don't even know what the fuck

>> No.1558863

>mfw my English teacher in high school was reading out Of Mice and Men and his accent made "sock" sound like "suck"
>Gaw' dammit, lenny, do I gotta suck you?

>> No.1558864

Mostly it's just because my English teacher's a bit of a dozy bastard (cool guy though), but this is a direct quote:

"No one knows what actually started WW1, but I think... Was it almost a million people died lads?"

>> No.1558867
File: 38 KB, 221x267, jeffmangum.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1558867

>>1558857
>mfw semen stains the mountaintops

>> No.1558868

>>1558854

oh god I lol'd

>> No.1558869

>>1558856
well, yes, alice and wonderland was written for that little girl, but i wouldn't say it was an allegory for pedophilia. it was written by a pedo (who, back then, wouldn't have been thought of as a pedo) for a little girl, but i'm almost certain it wasn't an allegory.

(did i repeat myself? i can't tell...)

>> No.1558870

Hey Deep&Edgy, just dropping in to let you know I'm the best tripfag on this board.

>> No.1558872

>george orwell's 1985 warned about an atheistic socialist state
>1985
>socialism

>> No.1558874

>>1558872
must have beena huge orson welles

>> No.1558877

>>1558869

I thought i heard somehwere that the writer was also real hard into drugs.

>> No.1558878

>>1558870
why does every new trip think they can find themselves famous in the shortest amount of time just by being a campy d+e

>> No.1558881

>>1558862
You alright darling? Time of the month? would you like me to fill a hot water bottle for you and make you some herbal tea?
You need to slow down and read the next line very slowly so you can understand it fully.
BITE ME

>> No.1558883

Someone asking if Hiroshima mon amour was about vietnam

>> No.1558891

>>1558878

BECAUSE I AM THE BEST TRIPFAG ON THIS BOARD

>> No.1558892

>>1558872

>>1984

>> No.1558894

>>1558877
that's actually a rumor, but a really believable one because, hey, have you read the book?

>> No.1558895

probably
>that the Cronicals of Narnia weren't blatent Christian propaganda

>> No.1558896

>>1558869
Of couse it is, what is the central idea of the book whould you say?
The journey of self discovery of a pre-pubescent girl, confronted by various fears as her body changes, or a delightful tale of a young girls romp through an imaginery fairyland.

>> No.1558898

>>1558881
that's what was wrong with it. I just don't like seeing you embarrass yourself

>> No.1558899

>>1558892

>i know
that's why it was doubly retarded

>> No.1558910
File: 33 KB, 704x396, Zoku Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - 07_20101214-19450107.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1558910

>>1558896
honestly, i'd have to say
>a delightful tale of a young girls romp through an imaginery fairyland

i mean, if you're going to go deep enough and start saying it's about puberty, it's not much of a stretch for some moron to come and say "it's about ww2, derp!"

but i do kind of like the puberty thing, it does make some sense.
>mfw the "red queen" signified alice's period

>> No.1558920

>>1558894

Nope, I'm not much into reading, wish i was, but my attention span rarely permits anything of value.

I lurk around here in an attempt to not fall into "illiterate american fuckwater" stereotype.

>> No.1558922

>>1558898
I can't get embarassed - I had that gland removed following an industrial accident.
Fortunatly my obnoxious nodes have almost compensated fully.

>> No.1558924

>>1558920
well, that's pretty commendable. i like you.

>> No.1558931

>>1558922
that explains everything.

>> No.1558932

>>1558924
I try

No one likes a jackass.

>> No.1558933

>>1558924
Agreed.
If you're the same guy who keeps posting about ADHD problems, I sympathize. I got ADD. I take aderol for that shit. See if you can get a doctor to give you some, it'll help.

>> No.1558939

people who die for their countries are basically stupid fucks who don't realize that planet earth cannot be divided into logical human conceived borders. It makes no sense whatsoever.

Prime example of how our minds are evolving is the formation of United States of America as well as E.U. recently.

>> No.1558946

all this talk of alice in wonderland makes me want to read it again. the only time i ever did was in 2nd grade, and the only thing i remember is the word "melancholy", because it was a homework question or something

>> No.1558947

>>1558939

Yeah, that must suck that you heard something that stupid in class.

>> No.1558952

>>1558947
>>1558947

You call that stupid? Wtf is wrong with you

All intelligent minds agree that an Earth State is what the future of the world shall be. Haven't you read all sci-fi novels. Or even dystopian ones? How about watching youtube clips of that jap scientists who talk about levels of civilizations in the Universe.

>> No.1558955

Once I listened to an 70 year old hag with multiple sclerosis (head of the department lolz) read, in as suggestive a tone as she could muster from her withered old throat, some erotic poetry.

>> No.1558959

>>1558955
i lol'd heartily

>> No.1558962

>>1558910
Dude, he had her sit on a toadstool that grew.
Tell me in what universe that isn't fucked up.

>> No.1558970

>>1558962
yeast infection?

>> No.1558977

Describing WWII more specifically, the only genocide anyone cares about with "facts" written on board by students.

"There was believed to be a superior race called 'Aryans' and their religion was Christian."

also, there's this one chick who thought I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was about internal conflict.

>> No.1558978

>>1558970
more like fucked by penis erections

>> No.1558979

>>1558970
penis. a toadstool (mushroom) isn't even yeast, it's fungus.
>>1558962
...i'm a loli. that's totally fine with me.

>> No.1558980

English Class:

Teacher: What does "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" mean?
Me: it means that the most vocal group gets the most attention
Teacher: I'm afraid that's incorrect. It means that the most deserving group gets the most attention.
Me: ........

>> No.1558982

mushrooms back then were probably innocent

>> No.1558988

>>1558982
i'm pretty sure mushrooms have ALWAYS looked like penises faggot

>> No.1558992

>>1558988
way to totally miss the point. although im not sure if there is a point here that i will defend

>> No.1558994

>>1558863
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzz3lA9ZfWo
watch it 'till the end

>> No.1559000

>>1558979
oh shit, you're right. yeast is a bacteria not a fungus

disregard that post, I sucks miles of cocks

>> No.1559001

Girl: I has an penis
Me: I am a monster
Girl: HA HA

A year later we changed classroom

>> No.1559011

>>1558856

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Carroll#The_.27Carroll_Myth.27

>> No.1559017

>>1559001
That's pretty ridiculous.

>> No.1559018

So are we all in agreement then?
Lewis Carrol was a dangerous predator who wrote a book that had little if anything to do with a global conflict that happened almost eighty years after the book was written.
English teachers sometimes say things that are not entirely historically accurate.
And finally, yeast is a bacteria and not, after all, a funghi.
Thankyou, and goodnight lit.

>> No.1559022

list of authors who are confirmed pedophiles

lewis carroll
valdimir nabokov

any more ideas?

>> No.1559025

>>1559000
>>1558979

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeast

>"Yeasts are eukaryotic micro-organisms classified in the kingdom Fungi"

>> No.1559027

>>1559025
really? fuck. i guess i was wrong, and i too suck cocks.

>> No.1559030

>>1559011
I don't know what point youare trying to make with that link, but I don't think it helps that it suggests in the text that he was thinking seiously about becoming a priest.
Also CP on Wikipedia - who would have thought?

>> No.1559032

>>1559022
Charles Dickens did the exact same thing as John Wayne Gacy but on a much larger scale and Oliver Twist was fapfic.

>> No.1559033

>>1559025
>>1559025

OH SHIT, SON

I was right, then took it back.

we all sucks cocks

>> No.1559038

>>1558845
>>1558849
>>1558851
>>1558857
Not trolling, she dropped out after 3 weeks, because she wasn't
>interested enough
in it.

I know slowpoke.jpg

>> No.1559043

So are we all in agreement then?
Lewis Carrol was a dangerous predator who wrote a book that had little, if anything, to do with a global conflict that happened almost eighty years after the book was written.
English teachers sometimes say things that are not entirely, historically accurate.
And finally, yeast is a bacteria and not, after all, a funghi, although the evidence is stacking up in favour of it being funghi, which makes 1558970's joke funny again.
Thankyou, and goodnight lit.

>> No.1559049

>>1559043

Carrol being a paedo is somewhat debatable

>> No.1559058

>>1559049
true. back then it was pretty "awwwriiiggt" for little kids to be nudes, and it wasn't even always a sexual thing. plus, think about what we have nowadays: loli. basically, we like the same thing, only drawn.

>> No.1559062

>>1559058
Agreed. I love Jpanaese Cartoon Child Pornographies too

>> No.1559068

>>1559049
Alrighty then, lets just take a quick stroll through what we know shall we...
Wrote erotic stories about small girls.
Took nude photos of same.
Arranged situations to be with small children.
Was conflicted sexually.

Look officer, I can explain, it's all quite innocent and nothing more than a huge misunderstanding.

>> No.1559073
File: 48 KB, 450x321, software-engineer2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1559073

"I'm going to do English at University, maybe with Philosophy"
>

>> No.1559083

>>1558731
In high school my English class teamed up with a drama class to do Romeo & Juliet. Only it was an 'up to date' version. Our English teacher apparently didn't see any problem with re-writing the entire script in modern street slang. Getting underachieving students and chavs involved in English was apparently more important than the middle class children's grades. Missing the entire fucking point of reading Shakespeare in English didn't seem to be an issue for her either.

>> No.1559084

>>1559083
ok, so you basically made that 1990's romeo and juliet, the one set in cali or whatever, but instead of actually using the words, you changed those too?

what messed up place do you live in?

>> No.1559087

>>1559068

>Wrote erotic stories about small girls.
like what?

>Took nude photos of same.
child nudes were even on Victorian Xmas cards. loads of people did it

>Arranged situations to be with small children.
you mean teaching? he also hung around with teenagers and older girls. would hardly stand up ion court anyway.

>Was conflicted sexually.
spurious. he had salacious relations with women. any signs of conflicting sexuality could well be to do with him supposed to be becoming a celebate preist.

I'm not saying it isn't true or likely. Just saying it's debatable.

>> No.1559088

>>1559084
England.

I didn't have a problem with the 90s one. Leo was still good looking, claire danes would have got it a million times and Postlethwaite made up for everybody else's horrific acting.

They kept true to the story and the language but brought in some really interesting filming styles. It was better than Moulin Rouge by miles.

>> No.1559091

Deep&Edgez u kno marital rape was legal back then right

>> No.1559092

>>1559088

i hate the way theu changed the ending tho so that both of die that was jst plane ratarded,

>> No.1559099

>>1559087
>Wrote erotic stories about small girls.
like what?
>>see above

>Took nude photos of same.
child nudes were even on Victorian Xmas cards. loads of people did it
>> that argument is not valid - just because loads of people do it doesn't make it any less wrong - Victorian times were more sexually repressed than 21st C USA, has inappropriate sexual response changed since?

>Arranged situations to be with small children.
you mean teaching? he also hung around with teenagers and older girls. would hardly stand up ion court anyway.
>>read what you just wrote, your'e not helping your argument with that statement.

>Was conflicted sexually.
spurious. he had salacious relations with women. any signs of conflicting sexuality could well be to do with him supposed to be becoming a celebate preist.
>> not celibate, Anglican, so could have had a wife, but would have been restricted by convention more
I'm not saying it isn't true or likely. Just saying it's debatable.

>> No.1559109

>>1559091
Yeah but if you don't wanna get raped, don't get married.

>> No.1559115

>>1559109
Fair nuff but if you don't want to get shot at and shelled relentlessly then don't end up in the army. I think that marriage for a Victorian woman was only a little less hard to weasel out of than the draft, if that

>> No.1559120

>>1559109
Lara Logan should have thought of that.
You enlightened man.

>> No.1559122

>>1559115
getting out of the draft would leave you with the stain of cowardice. Being a man you could simply leave town. A woman leaving her husband would have absolutely nothing. Even if her family took her back she'd remain arone and ronery for the rest of her life.

>> No.1559125

>>1559099

>just because loads of people do it doesn't make it any less wrong
I'm not saying it wasn't wrong. I'm saying that if a higher propoertion of people took nudes of kids in the Victorian era that doesn't mean they had a higher proportion of paedophiles.

>not celibate, Anglican, so could have had a wife
but he wasn't married, so he wasn't meant to playing hide the sausage with married women.

>> No.1559132

>>1559125
Taking holy vows was seen as a viable alternative then (as now) for people who identified themselves as differently orientated. In fact it was seen in some circles as a calling to holy orders if you were gay. It is not a huge leap to assume that this person, realising his sexual preference was for small girls, to try and take vows to curtial his proclivities.

>> No.1559470

d&e will get far in his studies with this lack of interpretive charity.

>> No.1559484

All D+E threads are about him or something that happened to him.

Total fucking shitcake.

>> No.1559508

>D&E doesn't understand what symptoms means
It's a semiotics term (in fact, the first); it is a reaction to some internal state, and acts as a warning that something is wrong to the individual.

>> No.1560401

>>1559484
now that's just a blatant lie

>> No.1560625
File: 25 KB, 480x360, spidermanokeydoke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1560625

>>1559470
>Onionring lecturing me about interpretive charity
>Onionring
>interpretive charity
>analytic tightarse

typical onionring right there for you

>> No.1560626

Does it count if it's something one of my students said?

>> No.1560629

>>1560626
go for it

>> No.1560634

>>1560626
Does it count if it's something a tripfag said?

>> No.1560671

http://www.cracked.com/article_18787_6-books-everyone-including-your-english-teacher-got-wrong_p2.ht
ml

#3

Can someone confirm or deny that AIW is about mathematics as claimed here?

>> No.1560687

'I'm going to be doing this at uni'.

>> No.1560692

>>1560671
Lewis Carroll AKA Reverend Charles Dodgson was most famous for his contributions to Mathematics and Logic. There are certainly a lot of references to both.

But everything they say in that article that was "new" back then is wrong. Imaginary numbers, for example, have been around for a few centuries, gained acceptance in the 18th C. I mean, quaternions were conceived in the mid 19th C for God's sake...

So that article is idiotic, like everything else on Cracked.

>> No.1560720

>I don't get why critics complain about chick-lit.
>Science fiction is just chick-lit for men!

>> No.1560724

>>1560720
well the second one is true

>> No.1560730

Had someone try to argue with a straight face that Fight Club wasn't about 9/11 solely because it was published in '96, as though Chuck Panegyric wasn't as dead as every other author.

>> No.1560732

>>1560730
The whole death of the author thing is overrated and always taken too far

>> No.1560739

>>1560720
is the joke that sci-fi is actually just chick-lit for children?

>> No.1560744
File: 18 KB, 385x383, babby.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1560744

>>1560730

>> No.1560927

>>1560730

Umm...what?

>> No.1560942
File: 126 KB, 310x319, 1296768809264.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1560942

>>Reading The Stranger by Camus
>>Ignorant Bitch asks the professor: "Is this guy, like, a sociopath?"
>>mfw people use words they don't understand and meursault is a chill dude

>> No.1560945

>>1560927

He's saying that the fact a work is in the public domain and hangs around long after the moment it was published allows readers to make of it what they will without much consideration for authorial intention.

Of course saying Fight Club can therefore be 'about' 9/11 is bullshit, it categorically isn't 'about' 9/11, but it IS arguable that we use the assemblage which constitutes the text 'Fight Club' as a springboard for considering things which it is not 'actually' about in new ways.

>> No.1561009

Today..."So does Whitman like war?"