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/lit/ - Literature

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1551243 No.1551243 [Reply] [Original]

I am an English major that has recently decided to start writing a novel. What do you guys feel makes a successful book? What do you feel makes a bad book?

>> No.1551252

Must be written by a bulky Russian man whose lackadaisical attitude towards shaving is surprising to everyone that sees his picture

>> No.1551263

But I am not Russian :(

>> No.1551267

>>1551263
Well, you're fucked.

>> No.1551270
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1551270

>>1551263

>> No.1551275

>What do you guys feel makes a successful book? What do you feel makes a bad book?

Most successful books are bad books, so uh.

Make sure it's really melodramatic. Follow the hero's journey as a template. Make your writing isn't more difficult than 7th grade English. Make the plot easy to follow, but include lots of conflict and maybe a cliffhanger at the end. Depending on age group, maybe some gratuitous sex. If sex or no, definitely include some romance.

Follow something like that and you'll be well on your way to making some of that sweet Dan Brown money.

>> No.1551281

Because of different tastes and shit, write whatever the fuck you want, but the above guy has a good idea.

>> No.1551285

>What do you guys feel makes a successful book? What do you feel makes a bad book?

I'm beginning to doubt you're really an English major.

>> No.1551289

>>1551275
>implying Brown's novels are anything like that

Look /lit/ i hate what you tell me to!

accept me please?

>> No.1551292

>>1551243
>What do you guys feel makes a successful book?
Being by Palahnuik
>jk.

Really, I think this sort of mentality is probably not conducive to success. You should think about it, but if you try to appeal to everyone you'll end up appealing to nobody. Just remember that there are probably a few million people the world over who are very similar to you, and if you just write a book that you would like to read, lots of people will read it. That's a good place to start, anyway.

Books are successful for all sorts of reasons. I read Skinny Bitch blew up after Posh Spice was seen holding a copy; there is no shortage of tough-love diet books expounding veganism, she just got lucky in that regard.

Okay, try to write one chapter that works well as a stand-alone work (think Guts from Haunted by Chuck P, if you've read that) so you can present that at open mics, readings, submit to literary magazines, etc.

>> No.1551298

yeah i am an english major and i can still write like this casually because it is the internet and i dont care to write properly for ideas we are discussing are much more important than the grammarr in which the questions are posed

>> No.1551324

is being an english major a good idea? im thinking about it but can i really go anywhere with it except teaching? cause i dont wanna teach but i wanna be an english major

>> No.1551327

it is a bad idea unless you want to go to law school... then it's a great idea.

>> No.1551332
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1551332

>>1551324
be an English Major

just like Stephenie Meyer!

>> No.1551336

>What do you guys feel makes a successful book?
Cliché.

>What do you feel makes a bad book?
Cliché.

>> No.1551344

From my point of view, as someone interested in prose style, I feel that it's as important as a good plot, and all the best plots are ones that would be difficult to make work unless they were driven by an unusual and deeply interesting prose style (Catch 22, Lolita, Gatsby, etc)

>> No.1551349

>>1551332
wat fuck that bitch i havent read any of her shit. it just ive finished my generals mostly and spent a few semesters thinking i was gonna major in english and i have a good gpa and all its pretty easy so far but i dont want to teach

>> No.1551361

Well, to be successful financially, a book is going to have to appeal to people. It doesn't matter how profound or insightful your book is if your publisher is going to doubt its ability to turn a profit or if people won't want to read it. See what's selling today. Could you imagine writing something comparable or better then those books? If so then give it a shot.

As for being an English major, the lessons youll learn in critical thinking, analysis, writing, and communicative clarity are invaluable to any field. The problem is that the actual degree doesn't automatically open any doors for you; you've gotta put your foot in the doorway, hard and fast (LOL!!!). The good side is that no door is automatically closed, either.

>> No.1551386

>>1551361
>See what's selling today.
Well I guess we could be scientific about it.

Here's some good places for data after forty-five seconds of googling

http://www.nytimes.com/best-sellers-books/overview.html
>Books named "the girl with..." sell well
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bestselling_novels_in_the_United_States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_books
>Da Vinci code sold 80 million (!)

>> No.1551433
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1551433

>>1551243

A very successful and terrible book.

>> No.1551440

From my observations, this is what makes books sell:

-Crime and conspiracy. These make a solid base for a conflict. The more extreme, the better. Murder, world-shaking coverups, and anything involving large sums of money can make it attractive

-Sexual deviance. Pedophilia and sadism are the easiest and most successful

-Prose that goes back and forth from harsh and coarse to beautiful and flowery. The contrast turns a lot of people on.

Have an interesting premise, too-cool-for-school characters, and a hard boiled mystery plot, and you've got a winner.

>> No.1551494
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>> No.1551506

Hit up the teen fiction genre. Write about some vampires or some shit. Try romantic bog monsters wooing girls or something. Could be fresh yo.

>> No.1551543
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1551543

Write some shit about how your mum used to lock you in a cupboard while she turned tricks and then your succession of stepdads used to beat the living fuck out of you every night when you came back from school and about how you got raped so often you stopped knowing if you even liked it or not to the extent that you keep putting yourself in situations where you effectively let an endless succession of father figures rape you over and over again as you're passed around the gay scene like a bong. It's even better if it's true, but nobody gives a fuck either way: the wankers in Waterstons lap all that childhood abuse shit right up.

Pic somewhat related

Actually, I'm getting kind of hard writing it.

>> No.1551559
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1551559

do like Lauren Kate

take the two most popular books you can think of (she chose Twilight and Harry Potter) and cram them together into one horrendous mess of unoriginality.

>> No.1551599

>>1551559

If you did that with /lit/'s two favourite books, you'd have Atlas in the Rye.

>> No.1551637

So no one considered the fact that OP might have (probably did) mean "successful" as in "well conceived"? "Successful" as in a novel that "works"? c'mon guise

>> No.1551654
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1551654

>>1551599
>Atlas in the Rye.

FUND IT

Or maybe you'd get Infinite Ulysses

>> No.1551705
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1551705

>>1551654
>Infinite Ulysses

>> No.1551717

>>1551654
Crime and The Stranger

>> No.1551725

The Great Gatsby of Monte Cristo

>> No.1551730

Atlas in the Rye of the Karamazov's Rainbow

>> No.1551753

The Death of Ulysses Karamazov

>> No.1551763

The Sun Also Rises in Bondage

>> No.1551765

>>1551327

You should probably look into the job market situation for lawyers if you really think this is true.

I'd say major in English, get a teaching certificate for a job to always fall back on, then pursue writing/editing/whatever.

Also, if you're are interested in law school, you probably have at least 4-5 more years until you're on the job market, at which time the situation might be different, but it's probably a jip at the moment.

>> No.1551768

>>1551730
Continue.

>> No.1551771

Finnegans Dance with Dragons

>> No.1551773

Lolita Shrugged

>> No.1551779

Blood Twilight

>> No.1551783

No Longer the Overcoat

captcha: ithiper References

>> No.1551785

Thus Spoke Literary Theory

>> No.1551788

Introductory Literary Theory of Why Video Games are Not Art

>> No.1551790

>>1551332
>Dan Brown money
I peed a little from laughing

>>1551275
tehe

>> No.1551792

Harry Potter and the American Psycho

>> No.1551802

Kafka on the Dune

>> No.1551804

Shoplifting from The Fountainhead and the Code of Da Vinci by JK Tao Rand Brown.

It follows an individualist realizing he is an objectivist architect when he sees a message coded in the paintings of Da Vinci, which he was accused of "stealing", though he's only taking back what he has paid for through tax money. Yer an objectivist, Roark. He's also implicated of a murder.

He then goes to the Hogwash Institute for Objectivism and Architectury, where he finds that behind the murder is an international communist organization that protects the secret writings of Marx where he proves it is actually best to be totally selfish. Thus globetrotting journey.

And the next night they ate whale.