Write What's on Your Mind

[Anonymous No.15439604]

or don't

[Anonymous No.15439617]

>>15439604
Sleeping is nice

[Anonymous No.15439620]

I've been trying to enjoy nature and beauty but something in me doesnt let it in to really captivate me.

[Anonymous No.15439654]

Just finished the fourth chapter of the portrait of the artist. Jesus, what a beautifully written book. I'm excited for the last one but I've got to take the day off to think about what I read. The first chapter, the childish one, is great. I don't know why people seem to be filtered by it - the part where Stephen is sleeping and watching the fire's shadow on the wall is probably the comfiest thing I've ever read.

[Anonymous No.15439670]

>>15439620

This is going to sound dumb but nature is always better after the fact, at least if you are like me. I have trouble 'living in the moment' so even when amongst nature I find it hard to escape my internal thoughts and just enjoy the experience of nature. But afterwards, I feel better and somehow am better able to appreciate the experience.

[Anonymous No.15439681]

>>15439654
my personal favourite book anon, its a good one

[Anonymous No.15439704]

>>15439670
>'living in the moment'
Oh, i guess that must be it. I have a big problem living in the moment. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[Anonymous No.15439728]

sentimental attitude toward imaginary things that cannot exist is slowly killing me inside

[Anonymous No.15439774]

>>15439654
There are only a handful of books as good as that, it's really all downhill from there.

[Anonymous No.15439820]

>>15439604
Vandalism is an expression of the unfullfilled unfullfillable desire to be free

[Anonymous No.15439886]

(1/2)
I'm coming to the theory that all dramatic conflict can be reduced to belief.
Why? The vast majority of interpersonal conflict in the real world is rooted in beliefs of two, interrelated, forms
1. the beliefs about the world
2. beliefs about the self, and place in the world
If there is a discrepancy between 1 and 1, then people will "act out".
This becomes very interesting when you have two people with the exact same beliefs, two guys with low self worth, each wants to be the "alpha male" and get locked into a conflict of status with each other. They both have the exact same worldview that status is the most important thing (1) and the exact same low self worth (2) and yet rather than agreeing, they find conflict with each other.
I feel like if you want to find out what 'happens' in your story, as in the plot, don't ask "who your characters are" start off with "what do they believe?"

[Anonymous No.15439896]

I wish I could move to a random polynesian island and live by myself in the wilderness fishing for sustenance and relaxing the rest of the time.

[Anonymous No.15439920]

>tfw spending 3 whole nights alone with a woman I am very close to emotionally and who is very close to me emotionally (by her own admission)
>tfw she and I would be perfect for each other
>tfw circumstances will prevent us from ever having a relationship
Feels bad but neither of us want to make it weird

[Anonymous No.15439950]

>>15439886
tl;dr- are roles the source of conflict, or beliefs? Or does one begat the other?
(2/2)
I started coming around to the idea in the last post because of Daniel Dennett’s idea of the Intentional Stance. When you say “Nature Abhors a Vaccum” you’re presupposing nature has some beliefs about the world, and then attaching desires to those beliefs. That’s not really relevant. I was going to add more about the idea of ‘dramatizing abstract ideas’ but then I realized it’s been done a bazillion times.
What I’m now wondering is if there is a connection between “roles” and belief. “I’m the man of this house” is a statement that implies some beliefs about the world, and implies each member of the household has a certain role to play.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Stockholm Syndrome in particular, although some research I’ve done says it hasn’t really ever happened. There’s obvious roles – the captor and the captive – there is an inherent conflict there. And if it’s true, it’s just another example of how roles change. Roles always change. When you take off your uniform you cease to be a employee of megacorp inc. and you become a different role, maybe a father, maybe a friend, maybe you’re a furry, or maybe you’re captain of the Lacrosse team – maybe all of them.

[Anonymous No.15439958]

>>15439604
Who Will Save The World

[Anonymous No.15439968]

>>15439920
what's the story?

stay strong anon

[Anonymous No.15439997]

>>15439968
>be alone most of uni
>senior year meet this girl at an academic club for classical history and poetry
>we hit it off immediately and I develop strong feelings for her
>ask her out, she says no (later found out she does like me but felt intimidated by having different hobbies)
>we go on a bunch of stuff together as friends
>eventually we start talking a lot about mental health and feelings
>afterwards we feel really close to each other, very emotionally (but not physically) intimate
>graduate
>invite her to my place with a bunch of other people to spend the long weekend
>pick her up
>we get back to my place
>find out almost immediately everyone else is cancelling last second because of COVID
>it's just us for three whole days and nights
>we talk about what to do
>start developing really strong feelings again from the proximity
>but know that she is moving several hundred miles away for graduate school and that this might be the last time I ever see her, so it's impossible for any relationship to work out (she said before that this is a major reason she wouldn't date me because she said it would feel cruel to do to me)

[Anonymous No.15440040]

>>15439997
>wall of text
>its about a girl

uhhh

[Anonymous No.15440195]

>>15439774
Yeah, we all wish Joyce would have done a decent sequel to Portrait Of The Artist

[Anonymous No.15440326]

I’m starting to really like anime. I’m 27. I started because I’m lonely and bored. It’s extremely embarrassing. I wish I had got this out of my system when I was younger.

[Anonymous No.15440346]

WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.15440373]

>>15440195
I think of the first chapter of Ulysses as the apotheosis, and most beautiful example, of the realist style developed in Dubliners.

But it could also be read as a kind of sequel to Portrait.

[Anonymous No.15440379]

I can’t read, write, enjoy sex. This medication that’s keeping me from blowing my brains out has stripped all enjoyment from my life. I’m like a fucking zombie.

[Anonymous No.15440432]

>>15440379
That happened to me. I stopped taking it all. It’s been over 3 years.

[Anonymous No.15440449]

>>15440326
Have you watched the big 3 ?

[Anonymous No.15440462]

>>15440449
I just googled that. It looks like Naruto, One Piece, and Bleach? If so, I’ve seen them when I was younger and didn’t love them actually.

[Anonymous No.15440464]

>>15440373
I kind of wish Ulysses was all like that, or that he had written another book in that style.

[Anonymous No.15440486]

I'm so tired of everything being some quirky sarcastic quip. Everyone I talk to has this barrier of irony covering what they say. I want to speak candidly to someone please. I really miss that.

[Anonymous No.15440550]

>>15440486
you're descending into DFW pit

[Anonymous No.15440617]

>>15440432
I’ve thought about it. The suicidal ideations were tough. The depression is what helped me write, though. What’s better, dying having tried to create something great, or living having created nothing?

[Anonymous No.15440630]

>>15439604
I'm a bit scared about the future of universities and of "studenthood".

with so many universities moving almost entirely online, the experience of being a student in the future will be completely different.
in the best case scenario we'll have socially distanced campuses with only a fraction of the students; and more likely, the whole university experience will turn into a series of online courses you can do from your bedroom, leaving campuses completely empty and removing the whole social aspect of university.
this will not only have a massive impact on cities and the neighborhoods kept alive by student life, but it will leave a permanent mark on an entire generation, in a way ridding it of its youth..
this process had already started before the Coronavirus came along and is pretty obvious in Anglo countries where 1968-style student movements and all of that are mostly things of the past, but the change we're facing now is on a much larger scale, and I'm a bit scared of its consequences.
I understand that this change applies mainly to a few specific social classes, but it will have repercussions on future culture as a whole (not necessarily in a bad way, mind you), and on a level that goes beyond the example of unis and education, I am very skeptical about the digital tyranny that we are being forced to accept and that is causing these unprecedented shifts..
I'm curious to see what the future holds.

[Anonymous No.15440675]

>>15440630
>in the best case scenario we'll have socially distanced campuses with only a fraction of the students
swell optimism anon

[Anonymous No.15440681]

>>15439896
This sounds comfortable

[Anonymous No.15440723]

>>15440617
There's always some illusion at play when we attribute our ability to create, either well or at all, to some vice, drug, or other terrible thing. This is dependency, be weary of it. Avoid false dichotomies, the world is, and your options are, in full color, anon. It is hard to be alive and create nothing. You obviously have spirit and with that, you'd die trying NOT to create. Even the soulless become fuel for another artist's fire. The energy is always there. It's important choosing the appropriate funnel.

[Anonymous No.15440724]

>>15440486
As much as I agree, bear in mind people have their reasons for being that way. You probably imagine irony like some kind of plastic wrap my heart is beating into, as if we would all be more loving without it, but more often than not it's the barrier holding back a knife. It's largely just my way of being polite.

[Anonymous No.15440824]

>>15439896
>be me
>live in Polynesia
>eat fish every day
>relax on the beach all day
>wish I live in a society
>wish I could eat burger every day
>wish I could be a productive member of humanity

[Anonymous No.15440887]

How is it that people who pray to an unresponsive man in the sky cannot settle for a zoom meeting? Jesus fucking christ. And before you say I'm tipping, reminder that whoever burnt this church down was saving christian lives.

My immediate thought before reading this was that it'd be scooby doo as fuck if it turned out the pastor burnt it down, but of course he was the one leading the campaign to reopen, so no, that's not happening. I considered writing a fiction piece about that idea instead, but I can't make human actions feel believable anymore unless they're bad. But of course I have a deadline by which time I need to have thought of at least ONE mature, not-a-middle-finger thing to be taken seriously. It would take such little, tiny amounts of effort for people to not be irritating, and they just can't do it.

[Anonymous No.15440964]

>>15440630
Student hood died a long time ago, dude. You’re worried about the educational system which produces over-socialized drones and instructional sycophants. There’s nothing to preserve. This shit is a check in the box at this point so just do what you need to and be a student on your own time. Don’t let school get in the way of learning.

[Anonymous No.15440998]

>>15440824
it's not worth it

[Anonymous No.15441140]

I have an ex-girlfriend that who saved my life. I want to write to her so badly. Not to say I love you or I miss you but just to say thank you. I know I probably shouldn’t.

[Anonymous No.15441192]

>>15440887
Saving lives, damning souls

[Anonymous No.15441200]

>>15441140
You should send her an anonymously letter, invite her to the forest at midnight, appear all dressed up like a ghost, and say thank you. If you like her reaction, walk backwards into the fog. If you don't, tell her she's dreaming.

[Anonymous No.15441205]

>>15441140
Just do it, what do you have to lose really?

[Anonymous No.15441247]

>>15441200
I won’t do that.

>>15441205
Nothing. My only two hang ups are that she’s in a relationship now and I don’t want to interfere and also I’m pretty afraid that no matter what words I put on that paper, it could never mean to her what it meant to me and would instead only come off as a desperate confession.

[Anonymous No.15441267]

>>15439728
why not just stop being a romanticist?

[Anonymous No.15441315]

>>15441247
My family experience a very traumatic and tragic event and the people around me who loved were suffering deeply. I was suffering too. I was going to school and working full time then too and trying to take care of my brothers, who couldn’t take care of themselves. What was left of the family started splintering apart. The weight of it all was so heavy, I couldn’t bare it. I planned on killing myself and knew exactly when and how I was going to do it. She came into my life randomly that week. I speaker into depression. A month later I became so sick that I ended up in the hospital and didn’t get better for 6 months. My family was so traumatized from dealing with their own issues that no one ever came to see me. The next 3 years were a roller coaster of emotional chaos while I tried to pull my family together. She never left my side. Here was this girl who barely knew me at all who saw all these hidden cuts and bruises that nobody else saw and she took care of me. She taught me to live my life being kind to others, to live selflessly, that all I could help others because I had experienced so much pain. I decided not to go through with it. She literally saved my life, bros. I just want to tell her thank you.

[Anonymous No.15441330]

>>15441247
You're too in your head about this man. If you're honest about your intentions, how could you possibly interfere with her relationship? I will be honest, this is the kind of thing that people often do for their own peace of mind. It doesn't matter what it means to her in this context.

[Anonymous No.15441337]

>>15441330
It is most definitely for my own peace of mind.

[Anonymous No.15441396]

>>15440964
>Student hood died a long time ago, dude.

I guess this depends a lot on where we're talking about. I am a student in Bologna and would be lying if I said my reasons for coming to uni were anything other than the student environment offered by the city. I can't really speak for other places, but at least here in Italy, cultural and counter-cultural centres almost always revolve around the best universities. and it will be hard for any sort of youth scene to survive in a world where everything is individualized and remotely accessible.

I understand what you mean but I don't really agree. the process of learning and in a way also of becoming adults, is for many people a social one and individual study can never replace the social aspects of being young.. many people that use this site might have things to say against this, but the simple fact that we're here proves this longing, and I think we all know that places like /lit/ can't replace real life relationships and experiences

[Anonymous No.15441403]

>>15441337
Then do it

[Anonymous No.15441414]

>>15441396
I completely agree with you dude. University should be of great benefit and should be immensely valuable to young people but at least here in America, it hasn’t been for a very long time. My undergrad experience was miserable and I can say I most definitely got nothing out of it.

[Anonymous No.15441424]

>>15440379
What medication

[Anonymous No.15441439]

>>15441414
Hey, misery is definitely something

[Anonymous No.15441440]

>>15441414
in that case, I hope the change we'll inevitably see in the coming years will bring with it something positive

[Anonymous No.15441461]

>>15440630
The change has been very welcome to introverted spergs like me, though. I am in fact worried the quarantine will be over and I would have to go to classes every day again. It is rather too comfortable as it is.

[Anonymous No.15441463]

>>15439604
I worry about my life and how it will end. I'm only 19 but if I ever hear a melancholic song on the radio or on YouTube I always imagine my family, at my funeral, looking over my coffin whilst it plays. It makes me cry. I sit in my room a lot and I browse the internet. I find myself crying a lot for no reason. It was only the other day I listened to Ralph Vaughan Williams' 'Five Variants of Dives and Lazarus' and I found myself crying again. I don't cry hysterically. I few tears leak out, that's all. The art made me sit their for 30 minutes envying all those men and women who got to exist in fairy tales and love stories. How these made-up characters managed to experience love and purpose within a fantasy realm. I wish I could be reborn as a knight in a poem who saves a beautiful maiden. The song aforementioned would play the whole time whilst the wise old man reads it to his grand-daughters.

[Anonymous No.15441496]

Just had a video call with aunt and uncle (he had just woken up from comatose state a few weeks ago after a stroke attack). Was emotionally overwhelmed when i saw him trying to piece words together just to greet me over the phone but he ended up only being able to incomprehensibly speak in vowels before losing all his energy, he used to be a lively man with his outdoor hobbies and cars. The fact that i had to see him through that same screen from which i was so used to watch liveleak videos or gory webms for entertainment in the past just makes me sick. Wished i never laughed at one of those gore videos. I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous No.15441513]

>>15441414
Ngl dude if you go to uni for anything but improving job prospects you are wasting your time and money.

[Anonymous No.15441604]

>>15440326
Then you need to stop being lonely and bored, and stop watching anime before it makes you cut your dick off and you end up like pic related.

[Anonymous No.15441645]

>>15441440
Yeah, exactly. That was my point but it’s important to note that most people don’t even get that. 3/4 of all Americans regret their degree. They haven’t even paid off for average student who graduated post 9/11. Most of the “college provides x% return on investment” statistics you see are skewed heavily by boomers and Gen X.

[Anonymous No.15441655]

>>15441604
Definitely, not going to cut my dick off. Not all anime is tranny shit.

[Anonymous No.15441683]

>>15441604
Well, they seem happy enough and even if that's not the case at least the have eachother

[Anonymous No.15441872]

>>15441463
>The art made me sit their for 30 minutes envying all those men and women who got to exist in fairy tales and love stories. How these made-up characters managed to experience love and purpose within a fantasy realm. I wish I could be reborn as a knight in a poem who saves a beautiful maiden. The song aforementioned would play the whole time whilst the wise old man reads it to his grand-daughters.
Beautifully put. There needs to be a rebirth of Romantic expression in this world. It feels like there's a solid of number of people that harbor these dormant sentiments, but there's no real meaningful way to express them in a culture that prioritizes jaded irony over vulnerability and sincerity.
One theory I've heard is that anime's Western fans are drawn to the medium because it tells unapologetically sincere stories about True Love and Epic Battles Between Good and Evil, in stark contrast to the always-cynical contemporary TV shows and movies and novels. The hope is that a Romantic culture would develop around anime, but these seems to be far from the case. When you see someone engaging in anime culture, for the most part, they're either in it just for the aesthetic (and this group of people is highly likely to be comprised of irony-fiends) or they solely engage in passive escapism.
Ideally, the right conditions would come about for some group of people to form a community that actively creates Romantic, sincere works. What exactly those conditions are, though, remains to be seen.

[Anonymous No.15441897]

This place is a muddy hell hole. A mass of Rusty, tin roofs and rotten plank fences, leaning, waiting to plunge into the deep puddles which formed on the unpaved road, haggard, aging, ragged people wandered the street half drunk, savoring the last cigarette they could afford while the light drizzle soaked into their stinking clothes. Angry dogs barked at every step they took as crows, perched on the haphazard tangle of cables up above, looked on, sadly for every being on the street these walking corpses were in fact, physically alive. A rust bucket, a death trap on wheels trundled on, a pig peaked its head from the driver side window of the back seat, in its beady black eye there was more intelligence and humanity than in all the village drunks combined.

[Anonymous No.15441905]

>>15439604
The constant degradation of humanity is in part to be blamed on perceived moral high ground; which is based on ambiguity and generalization

[Anonymous No.15442003]

>>15439886
>>15439950
>are roles the source of conflict, or beliefs?
I think we can go a bit further than that. Our 'attachment' to roles can be a source of conflict. Assuming forming of roles is a matter of psychic adaptation and protection. I think that society expects X of me, so I will create a role, which will allow me to fulfil the perceived expectations. Note that the perceived part refers to the possibility of us being completely wrong when choosing roles and building them.
Supposing our roles aren't our 'real selves', the source of conflict here is somewhat obscure. This can lead to a pointless conflict, much like over-identifying with your role is bound to lead to some form of conflict.

[Anonymous No.15442079]

>>15439604
Man there is just so much uncertainty, on one hand Im entering a university program that will lead into a quant career where Ill do interesting work and become a multimillionaire before Im 30. On the other hand, I want to enlist in special forces after university and truly live before settling down. Life is a pockmarked road.

[Anonymous No.15442080]

I am tired. I try to read but it is pointless. I remember suddenly that I've been trying to probe and map out the workings of my soul lately, and so this presents an opportunity.
I am tired.
My body is the same as it was hours ago, it is not tired, but it feels tired. This is because the machines of my subconscious are at capacity.
I notice my eyes have drifted to the least offensive vista of the room possible.
"We make for you to feel this way, because we can't take anymore! If you send more stuff down it's just gonna clog up the machines!"
It's the foreman from down there talking.
"What are you working on down there?"
"Can't tell you that, you'll have to wait and see."
"Why can't you tell me? Isn't it known already? I will feel this way or that, think this or that?"
"It's one of the mysteries of life," he replies sarcastically.

[Anonymous No.15442096]

I want to be part of a hate mob so I can feel something, hurt people so I hurt less inside.

[Anonymous No.15442116]

>>15442079
Oh, woe is you

[Anonymous No.15442128]

>>15442096
the only thing God can not forgive, is if you die having made anything but Him the goal of your life. Everything else can be forgiven anon. It can not be too late.

[Anonymous No.15442140]

>>15442128
god doesn't exist you larper

[Anonymous No.15442143]

Im struggling to internalize the fact that only i carry responsibility for my life. I only know this on theoretical level but nothing deeper. Im still ignorant of this basic knowledge.

[Anonymous No.15442145]

>>15442116
im still stuck here with you lad

[Anonymous No.15442148]

>>15442140
He does though. I've been an animal too. life is only fucked without Him, He is the missing link. He made it that way to teach us about love.

[Anonymous No.15442150]

>>15442140
He doesn't need to exist to be in the existence.
That's how powerful He is.

[Anonymous No.15442192]

>>15442148
Nope

>>15442150
Lmao

[Anonymous No.15442210]

>>15441315
damn. that's beautiful. I hope you find peace anon

[Anonymous No.15442215]

>>15441315
Reduce your feelings and gratitude to one line, write it in a thank you card, and send her a small gift that shows meaning

[Anonymous No.15442395]

>>15439958
Its not too late

[Anonymous No.15442400]

>>15442215
>Reduce your feelings
wish I could, anon

[Anonymous No.15442619]

>>15439997
literally teenage level problems

[Anonymous No.15442627]

What were the terms for the art theory that separates art into good/light and bad/dark. I can’t even recall where they originated. Indian or far eastern maybe.
Pictured Beksinski is an example of the latter

[Anonymous No.15442637]

>>15442627
I feel much more drawn to the shore than to the universe.

[Anonymous No.15442729]

>>15439958
>>15442395
>all heroes hesitate
Is the song about Stanislav Petrov?

[Anonymous No.15442752]

>>15442096
Just go hang out with some wokescolds and talk about how much you want to lynch pedos. All the joy of being racist minus the guilt.

[Anonymous No.15442796]

>>15441872
I've never watched anime, but that sounds like it could be true. I feel like most anime watchers are mainly obsessed with Japanese culture itself and watch anime as an ode to the cultural references and authenticity of Japanese media itself.
You are right, my friend. Romantic expression is dead and needs to be rejuvenated. The conditions are for one to be sincere in their work and not doubly ironic by creating Romanticism for Romanticism's sake. It needs one to understand the power of Romantic work and to appreciate the emotion needed behind every last syllable. Perhaps we will see a full circle, and the jaded irony within literature will seize and allow something more potent to take reign.

[Anonymous No.15442860]

>>15442796
>I feel like most anime watchers are mainly obsessed with Japanese culture itself and watch anime as an ode to the cultural references and authenticity of Japanese media itself.
Honestly, for a long time I thought that anime was American because I didn't know they were dubbed in English from the original Japanese.

[Anonymous No.15442887]

>>15442860
And why do you watch anime? What got you started?

[Anonymous No.15442993]

>>15442887
>What got you started?
I guess that it was just something that was always on the television when I was a kid.
>And why do you watch anime?
The animation is nice and so are the stories. Occasionally. There are certainty a lot of stinkers out there.

[Anonymous No.15443169]

I am content with being somewhere on the fringes of groups, in my circle of friends, in society. Too many good people are lost in sycophancy nowadays, the desire to please. I will stay this way. You should too, anon. One day they will erect monuments in our honour.

[Anonymous No.15443186]

>>15443169
>One day they will erect monuments in our honour.

i'm erecting something in your honour right now

[Anonymous No.15443192]

>>15442796
>I feel like most anime watchers are mainly obsessed with Japanese culture itself and watch anime as an ode to the cultural references and authenticity of Japanese media itself.
I can't speak for everyone who watches anime, but I do feel that this plays a rather big role for a lot of people. The interesting thing about Japan is that it's a 1st-world country that's managed to retain a distinct culture even after globalization. Obviously it's been influenced by The Monoculture, but various traditions and distinct thought patterns still seep through in their media. So if you're an average Western kid bored with what surrounds him, anime's a really appealing option.
Is that why I watch it? Maybe, subconsciously, that's part of it. But I'd say that it's just one of many factors that make it an attractive alternative to Western media.

[Anonymous No.15443225]

>>15443186
that, too, is a monument dedicated to my greatness.

[Anonymous No.15443566]

>>15439997
You sound like a pussy, move on faggot.

[Anonymous No.15443636]

>>15439604
Uptown, soul of American century, no dispute
Our foreign coup, Malcolm gets shoot, shot
Harlem screaming, "How come it's you, not?"
Some other fucker at that audubon spot, got
Houdini to seedy schemey, Junkies who would easily deceive me, believe me
Monthly, must be, easy to fuck with Wik
In my ear saying "Suck this dick 'fore I get sadistic"
I'm in the corner, crying "What's this shit?"
Seems I'm either puffing that bliss or cuffs on my wrist
Yin and yang, either stinging with pain or bringing that grain
Either way yo it's all the same thang
Thinking, Might it be worth it, life in the circle, write in my journal
My journals the, city it flows with the prettiest prose
Mixed with the gritty and gross, I pity the
Hideous shmoe, not the idiot shmucks, still giving a fuck
But I pity them so I guess I care too, prepared to
I-I-I dare to, keep trying when dying
The island be my heirloom

[Anonymous No.15443668]

>>15441496
Sorry to hear that. Hope physical therapy will help him.

[Anonymous No.15443705]

I miss being single

[Anonymous No.15443726]

>>15440630
>>15440675
>transfer to university next semester
>excited to be around people with my same major
>hope to network, join some clubs, get internships
>now it'll all be online and I won't meet shit, use any of the facilities, or get to do anything
Yay

[Anonymous No.15443732]

>>15439604
Niemals sollen wir ehrfürchtiger sein, als wenn es sich um die Gottheit handelt.
Wenn wir die Tempel nur in gesammelter Haltung betreten, um wieviel mehr müssen wir dies tun, wenn wir über die Gestirne und ihre Natur unsere Erörterungen anstellen.


P

[Anonymous No.15443735]

>>15441192
are souls saved in a church or inside one's self? Tolstoy was a devout christian and didn't go to church

[Anonymous No.15443764]

I wanna go camping. Do some reading and ride my bike.

[Anonymous No.15443814]

>>15439604
Last night I called my dad a cunt and he ran at me and tackled me and then I punched him in the face twice. we wrestled for 4 minutes and then he let go of me. There was a lot of blood on his face and his eye was red with blood. This is the first time something like that has ever happened. We have always had our problems and we don't like each other but it has never become physical. I don't know what to do. I feel ill.

[Anonymous No.15443837]

The year is half-over, what have you done so far?

[Anonymous No.15443859]

>>15443837
Nothing. I even lost my gains and became a lazy back of shit. I think this corona shit truly devides people of will from weaklings.

[Anonymous No.15443889]

did you made somebody smile today?

[Anonymous No.15443903]

>>15443889
Yes me

[Anonymous No.15443908]

>>15443726
>now it'll all be online and I won't meet shit, use any of the facilities, or get to do anything
Same. And this was the year I was going to make some new fiends. Maybe it'll all blow over soon.

[Anonymous No.15443978]

>>15443889
It's only 10:30AM anon. My housemates aren't even out of bed yet.

[Anonymous No.15443984]

I always saw my father as being a dull-minded person from the age of 14. The very age at which the sudden burst of arrogance arises. Coupled with me reading scientific books and educating myself as well as being complimented very often at school for being smart, made me think that i was hot shit.

My father came here, to german, in 1990 and started from the bottom. Now we live in a beautiful house with a garden and such. And he did all this just by being a car mechanic. He worked hard, i did not see him that often during the week and hated every encounter with him and his, what i thought of back them (my sister, my mother and my father) stupidity because unlike myself who came out of being religious, he was lazy mentally. So i thought.
Unlike me he did not educate himself on the sciences and philosophy of great men.

However in the last few years i have realized how smart he is and how ignorant i am. How stupid i myself am for seeing all of this this simplistic.

He truly is a greate man. Loving, smart, razor sharp in both problemsolving and and understanding social cues. Trying to get the best of every sad situation and actually putting in work. Instead of being alike, i have spend my ongoing youth in my room reading books on fuck what and thinking about mindnumbing things for what exactly?

Sometimes i think to myself that i need to treate him much better and i really try. Yet once in a while i burst and shit on him slightly. For what?

For being weak, unlike this greate men. I could be alike, but i will never be. Im cynical and stupid, that's what i am. And in the end, i am sure he knows this as well, i will get shit on myself and realize what kind of bug i myself am.

[Anonymous No.15443989]

>>15443837
absolutely nothing, I just watch old movies and go to sleep wishing I'd never wake up, maybe read a book every now and again

[Anonymous No.15444000]

>>15443978
Australia?

[Anonymous No.15444046]

how to deal with the insight that you'll never experience mutual, romantic love?

[Anonymous No.15444054]

>>15444046
Cope until AI brings your waifu to life.

[Anonymous No.15444059]

>>15444046
do not think about it. do not think about it. do not think about it. and read more books.

[Anonymous No.15444075]

>>15444046
get a gf and experience it?

[Anonymous No.15444088]

>>15439604
Every day I go to bed thinking about Rimbaud

[Anonymous No.15444093]

>>15444088
Rimbaud? More like rimjob.

[Anonymous No.15444199]

>>15444075
how?

[Anonymous No.15444342]

I'm going to stop eating supper. I eat breakfast and lunch (which is new for me because I didn't used to eat lunch) and I've just been eating too much and gaining weight. Back to two meals a day.

[Anonymous No.15444357]

>>15444199
just keep asking girls out until one of them says yes

[Anonymous No.15444393]

When did shitposting replace trolling?

[Anonymous No.15444447]

NYT has this sanctimonious cover story An Incalculable Loss about the nearly 100,000 Americans that died from 'rona. It dawned on me how overhyped this all is.
>Eleanore Rose Montgomery, 105
>Jebediah Williamson, 98
>Bernadette Langford, 101

How am I to feel the weight of this devastation if half of two thirds of the decreased wouldn't have made it to Christmas anyway?

[Anonymous No.15444465]

>>15444447
I share your irritation at the NYT but there's still a sizable proportion of not-so-old people among those dead. Including people with heart or respiratory illness who might have been cured or managed to live a fruitful life down the line.
People over 70 are also dying a lot and in the US it's not that natural to die at 70.

[Anonymous No.15444550]

>>15443837
While I lost my gains because I stopped working out, all of that energy was sublimated into my thinking. I then proceeded to build a beautiful philosophical system and reread Nietzsche, Baudrillard, Bataille, Langan, Leibniz, and others, and figured out where they messed up in developing their thought (by "messed up", I mean finding the moment where they hit a blockade and didn't know where to go next, usually from a lack of clarity in their own thought). I also created a foundation for mathematics with my system (all I can say is set theory was mostly right), and also applied my system to writing because I wanted to improve it (a success, by the end of the month my writing will make people cry). I believe I have made major breakthroughs in the study of dreaming as well (Freud was wrong here, like elsewhere, though I can understand why he made the mistakes he did). I also supplied a foundation to value and valuation. I am going to university for physics next year, so I will develop a proper theory of physics there (most interpretations of quantum phenomena are hilarious when you know a thing or two about philosophy). I am beginning to get bored though because I feel like I solved all I needed to for now, so I might start working out again, or go intense into a new hobby.

[Anonymous No.15444558]

>>15444447
aren't overall deaths up, despite e.g. people driving less?

[Anonymous No.15444665]

>>15444444

[Anonymous No.15444708]

>>15442003
>Our 'attachment' to roles can be a source of conflict.
Bur that attachment comes from our beliefs about the world right? In the sense that we believe society wants X, therefore we judge ourselves by that quality. and internalize that value, we believe in that value.
I'm just wondering if the role is the symptom of the beleifs, rather than the attachment to the role itself?
> Note that the perceived part refers to the possibility of us being completely wrong when choosing roles and building them.
100%
>Supposing our roles aren't our 'real selves', the source of conflict here is somewhat obscure.
Let's get more temporal here, because I'm particularly interested in how to use it to write drama: there's a room full of people and there's one guy in the room who is always 'the funny guy' in this group of people. Now there's someone else in that room, a 'funnier guy' - he's wittier, he's faster, his punchlines are better than the funny guy.
Is the funny guy going to feel bad because he's no longer the funniest man in the room and no longer playing that role, or is it because he's internalized the belief that value comes from him making others laugh, and now he's failing to do so?

[Anonymous No.15444762]

>>15442143
Is this ignorance of basic knowledge something that makes you think you can't take adequate and appropriate actions and responsibility for you life?

[Anonymous No.15444839]

The stuff girls write on porn sites turns me o almost as much as the content itself. Broken english is a favourite of mine.

[Anonymous No.15444864]

a female friend of mine recently sent me a picture of herself in a lace body suit and trousers to brag about wearing it under normal clothes in her zoom call. this wasn't anything flirty, we do the same uni course and she was just wanting to brag/get attention.

but it made me realise that this was the first time i have received anything close to a sext/nude/etc in well over 1,5 years, since breaking up with my ex. for a 20yr old i should be at least casually seeing someone, but i literally have so much social anxiety i cannot make a move out of fear of being seen as a creep. i wish i could remove the unattainable horniness from my brain until i get over it

[Anonymous No.15444882]

To be born good is certainly much better than to become good. To have virtue come so naturally while the rest of us struggle. Even lower than those who embrace their evil nature, at least they have no shame.

[Anonymous No.15444883]

>>15439604
I think that despite what people say to you, whether it be friends or family, we are ultimately alone in this world. If one was to truly unload their worries onto someone like that, their initial sympathy will become an eventual resentment towards you for the weakness showed you showed. That’s why I don’t be the whole “it isn’t weak to speak” mantra. The whole movement towards “mental health” awareness is bullshit. The resentment doesn’t necessarily have to be outward and directed towards you. It can internalised, or better yet, discussed behind closed doors to others. However, ultimately, people intuitively despise displays of weakness. Further, everyone is nestled in their own bubbles with their own insecurities and worries. Dealing (see: coping) with those things takes priority. Unconditional love or unconditional camaraderie is a farce.

[Anonymous No.15444905]

>>15444883
pretty spot on, you should read more existentialism. i agree with you for the most part, we are social creatures but fundamentally we exist by ourselves. however i think unconditional love does exist - i think that a long time ago, for a brief period in my life i have even felt it. you should focus on yourself, because love is just something that you find and lose along the way (if youre lucky)

[Anonymous No.15444955]

After speaking with multiple groups of relatively average people, I am completely convinced I have no idea what a relationship between two people actually is, or what it entails.

[Anonymous No.15444960]

>>15444864
>>15444864
Sexting and nudes are gross and I don't know why its so popular with Americans? I even met an American girl while on holiday there who wanted to sext with me even after I had returned to my country on the other side of the earth. I just ignored her because I was like wtf is the point of that I'm never gonna see you again. I will just fuck some broad here why the fuck would I want the nude of some essentially random person? Why is it such a popular cultural thing, I swear it is not as normalized here.

[Anonymous No.15444971]

I feel like I'm going to die if I fall asleep. What should I do, anons?

[Anonymous No.15444993]

>>15444905
I really don't mean to be rude here, genuinely curious. But if it was unconditional, why did it end and end so long ago?

[Anonymous No.15445016]

>>15444905
As an addendum to my reply, I'd consider myself to be mostly aligned with Schopenhauerian thought but I've been meaning to explore existentialist thought more. Schop wasn't an existentialist. What would you recommend?

I've also been trying to reconcile what I just wrote with his notion of all thing being a unity and compassion being the basis of morality. It's a complex synthesis because I have consider the "representation" and "Will" aspects of this as well as his ideas regarding free will and immutable character.

[Anonymous No.15445026]

>>15439604
I cried to myself the other morning shortly after I woke up for about five minutes. I’m not really a crier. Things must be getting bad.

[Anonymous No.15445030]

>>15444971
Go to sleep. I envy that prospect.

[Anonymous No.15445056]

>>15439728
Me and you both

[Anonymous No.15445087]

>>15439604
I was thinking about what Terry Davis said Are we here to entertain god? is this a valid justification for whatever I do?

[Anonymous No.15445098]

What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.15445149]

>>15445098
Overdosed on schizopills

[Anonymous No.15445154]

>>15445098
He was based.

[Anonymous No.15445161]

>>15444993
because people change, and so do circumstances. or maybe i was just a teenager who thought it was unconditional love when it really wasnt? i felt it, and then some time ago i didn't. and with so much life ahead i think it's possible i'll feel that way again

>>15445016
i've only read camus, some sartre, hamlet, but with the limited knowledge i have about existentialist philosophy i think kierkegaard might be a good read. i think with this stuff reading is only half of the story, and the other half is actually making it a part of how you conceptualise the world around you.

>>15445026
i've been clutching my pillow whilst sleeping. as sad as it sounds, i really just want a girl to touch me, hug me, show some affection, even if it's superficial

>>15445098
current student at this institution. we're all quite overworked. sounds like he went crazy - christ church especially has a lot of religious weirdos attending and i guess that's pretty historical of them

[Anonymous No.15445220]

>>15445161
>i've been clutching my pillow whilst sleeping
Same here. It's comfy. Every now and then I wake up and think I'm spooning an actual girl. The feeling is pleasant for those five seconds before lucidity sets in.

[Anonymous No.15445237]

>>15445161
>i've been clutching my pillow whilst sleeping. as sad as it sounds, i really just want a girl to touch me, hug me, show some affection, even if it's superficial
Condolences my friend. It’s one thing to understand love in abstracto. It’s another to still somehow desire it even after that realisation. I’d be lying if I said that part of that episode wasn’t due to the romantic loneliness I’ve been dealing with. What doesn’t help is the fact that I recently probably had the opportunity to alleviate that but I fucked it up.

[Anonymous No.15445243]

>>15444882

[Anonymous No.15445304]

>>15439920
>>15439997
Fuck her brains out and stay friends over the long distance you brainlet.

[Anonymous No.15445308]

>>15445304
based

[Anonymous No.15445310]

>>15440379
Say no. Leave the farm anon.

[Anonymous No.15445331]

>>15441496
Your insight is so clear and true anon. Things like this are often painful but necessary in what they teach us. I hope you are able to move forward.

[Anonymous No.15445351]

>>15441315
What you just wrote is incredibly moving and beautiful. I think you should take this post and modify it a little, and send it to her in that letter saying thank you. She’s obviously a kind and good person from what you’ve described so ignore these other anons and know that she’ll find value in it. Speak from the hart anon, it’s the most heroic thing we can do in this life.

You are a beautiful person. Godspeed.

[Anonymous No.15445352]

Precious tritium.

[Anonymous No.15445362]

>>15439997
It's so much better to have loved and lost than to have never had the opportunity.
Go for it you always regret not trying in the future.

[Anonymous No.15445379]

>>15445161
I read Hamlet a few years ago and found it profoundly resonant. It's funny you mention the latter aspect of interacting with a text. The lens through which I view all my interactions with others and my personal intuitions are through the philosophers I've read, as much of a wanker that makes me sound.

And yes, when things don't go well for you romantically, you can't help but wonder whether that was the last opportunity you had. But we seem to be a similar age, so how knows. I think quite behind my peers when it comes to these things though and that hurts me.

[Anonymous No.15445385]

>>15445161
I read Hamlet a few years ago and found it profoundly resonant. It's funny you mention the latter aspect of interacting with a text. The lens through which I view all my interactions with others and my personal intuitions are through the philosophers I've read, as much of a wanker that makes me sound.

And yes, when things don't go well for you romantically, you can't help but wonder whether that was the last opportunity you had. But we seem to be a similar age, so how knows.

[Anonymous No.15445400]

>>15439604
I deleted all of my social media and have focused on cultivating a small circle of friends. Everything feels so much quieter and more genuine. Why did I not leave the data farm sooner?

[Anonymous No.15445433]

>>15445243
Always thought this quote was dumb. Firstly, wanting pain/effort to mean something is pure cope.
Secondly, you want to be born good to cut out the effort, but remorse is needed to be good, so naturally all good people have evil natures, so the two options are only one. Meaning the correct answer isn't mentioned: it's better to be born unable to experience remorse or empathy.

[Anonymous No.15445437]

Why is every single thing so fucking broken and weird? Every piece of technology, every program is clunk and broken, they move shit around between versions so nothing is ever consistent, they bury shit in menus that don't make any sense. Every device, every object, everything I interact with makes me feel like I'm directly in contact with the mind of the borderline retarded malnourished fucking Indian who coded it, in a matrix of thousands of other Indians managing him for companies he's never heard of within tiers and spirals of meta-management and nonsensical institutions giving made-up accreditation by imitating American institutions that themselves don't even produce quality products anymore. Everything is a fucking rube goldberg machine designed by committee and containing glaring, bizarre, shocking errors and mistakes that my mind automatically thinks "but a CHILD literally wouldn't fuck this up, how is it possible a billion dollar enterprise fucked this up when thousands of employees were working on it and it only would have taken one of them, one person, pointing out this mistake"

I was watching that scene from the Star Wars prequels where he goes "Commander Cody, execute order 66" and I thought, I can just barely dimly imagine George Lucas being too fucking stupid or tired or distracted to realize that this implies Palpatine somehow personally communicated with ten trillion clone NCOs, but I can't understand how his fifty thousand employees didn't walk by while he was writing or storyboarding or filming or editing or postproducing it and go "shit's retarded yo, makes no sense George." It's ADR'ed in too, it's not like it is even possible that it was discovered too late and left in, it doesn't require a reshoot, it's a single voiced line over a fucking computer generated cartoon, you could re-edit it right now on a home computer and fix it. But somehow it made it past not only George Lucas but his billion bazillion interns and lackeys and producers and executive executive producer in charge of producing other producers. This causes me psychic pain to imagine. We have infinite complexity and no quality. We have infinite networking and no information to send down the network. I can't take it anymore. When I use a broken piece of shit device I can almost share a mind the with the fucking broken half-aware piece of shit consciousness that produced it, I can see that ugly mind failing to think at even what I would consider a minimum threshold for sentience in a human. I can't take living in this nightmare anymore. Everything around me at all times is some kind of demented weird melted Salvador Dali painting version of what it's supposed to be, like I'm living in a world made of machine-generated Chinese knockoffs, everything is "off"

[Anonymous No.15445455]

>>15445385
you sound pretty cool. all the best bro, even if we're sad as shit at the moment it only makes sense to keep going. embrace the absurd, do whatever pleases you, etc etc. whilst its fruitless to actively look for romantic fulfilment, you can only find intellectual/person fulfilment if you're proactive about it

[Anonymous No.15445482]

Beautiful post.
>how is it possible a billion dollar enterprise fucked this up when thousands of employees were working on it and it only would have taken one of them, one person, pointing out this mistake
It's because there are thousands of employees working on it -- because "everything is a fucking rube goldberg machine designed by committee" that it's all so dysfunctional. Quantity doesn't enhance networking; it impedes it. It means that if you've got your idea, your obvious fix, it has to get past an inordinate number of incompetent bureaucrats and middle managers whose utterly retarded ideas are competing for attention with yours. You know how there's the saying "If you want something done right, do it yourself?" Well, making blockbusters and computers (although less so when it comes to software) are endeavors that fundamentally can't be done by any one person. So they're never done right. And if they are, it's by an astrological coincidence, like the planets all aligned and Scorpio himself decided to ensure that everyone did their job correctly. But astrology is bogus, so we're stuck in the situation you describe.

[Anonymous No.15445503]

>Excluding naive realists, most scientists are fallibilists in Peirce’s sense
Is this true? I can't find a good source on this. It comes from a SEP article though.

[Anonymous No.15445520]

I am the sole locus of consciousness in the universe. Though this fact is plainly manifest to eyes, I am constrained to live a lie and pretend that I'm like you. You who are reading this, you are nothing but a future iteration of myself. I am destined to live a squalid life, as are you. Today I lied to a girl so that she'll accept me; I lied to myself. I felt unromantic and inanimate, selling an image of myself, painting myself anew with the paint of deception. And it worked, she accepted me. Why do I lie to everyone about who I am? Shouldn't I feel comfortable being who I am- the only sentient being on Earth, surrounded by simulated extensions of myself who equally feel themselves the only sentient beings on Earth? And who's claim of eminence is true? Surely it's mine, and mine only. If you're reading this, prove you're real. I doubt you can. Nothing you could ever do would convince me or even yourself that you're a real being. You feel yourself a ghost because you are one. Only I am real.

[Anonymous No.15445525]

>>15445437
Ngl I never thought about that Commander Cody thing till now.

[Anonymous No.15445529]

>>15445503
i had a discussion on this with a lecturer last week - he briefly worked in particle physics and he said a lot of physicists working with fundamental theories are actually anti-realists. i feel like a lot of people in other fields subscribe to some sort of realism, or are popperians. does it matter, though? we shouldn't base our philosophical beliefs on science on what the majority of (philosophy-uninterested) scientists think

[Anonymous No.15445576]

>>15445529
Reminder that Einstein had a portrait of Schopenhauer on his wall.

[Anonymous No.15445610]

I used to speak with a girl who is a hardcore Christian, a fundamentalist of the most stubborn sort. She is cute, friendly, and sweet. When I confessed to her long ago that I don't think Yahweh is the "Father" whom Christ speaks about in the New Testament, and that the Hebrew god must be another deity, she ghosted me. By chance, we spoke today and although in my heart I'm still a Marcionite, I told her that in fact, she is in the right, and that Yahweh is the father of Christ. I told her this, of course, so that I can cling to one of the last, fragile remnants of my social life that I have left. I'm not sure I did the right thing, but oh well. I hope her and I will become better friends. I'm so tired of my loneliness. Anyways, in the end, she could be right.

[Anonymous No.15445706]

>>15445610
>unironic Marcionite
Rejecting the Jewish roots of Christ and the faith that followed Him is a silly cope. Find the truth with this girlm and find the light

[Anonymous No.15445731]

>>15445706
Christ to the Jews:
>Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
Properly speaking though, I'm more of a Johannine with Marcionite sympathies. Either ways, I'm positively repulsed by most of the Old Testament.

[Anonymous No.15445818]

I had the strangest dream this morning. I dreamed that I'd met this young woman toward whom I felt nothing but sexual attraction. I decided I had to seduce her, which is very unlike what I'd do in real life. I tried once, I was turned down. I tried twice, again with no luck. I was discouraged and I'd almost given up, but I figured I would try one last time. At the hint of my last attempt, I had barely started that she readily undressed herself, threw herself on a bed, and lifted her legs up. I did not penetrate (so thankfully there wasn't any real life emission), but let me tell you I had such a feast! After I woke up I felt unusually aroused through out the whole day. I've already coomed twice (which is infrequent for me), but I'm hardly refraining from going for it again. I wonder what the dream means. Is my unconscious telling my I need to be more sexual with women?

[Anonymous No.15445821]

Oh, God. I wish I had friends so they could teach me how to write in English and not sound unnatural.

[Anonymous No.15445841]

>>15445576
>Reminder that Einstein had a portrait of Schopenhauer on his wall.
based

[Anonymous No.15445910]

>>15445220
Not that anon, but I've had multiple dreams during quarantine of that nature. My most recent was so vivid. My head was pressed into her hair and I could somehow sense how nice it smelt. Our legs were intertwined and my arm was around her body as she was nuzzled into my chest. Fucked me up for the rest of the day when I woke up.

[chr21328 No.15445919]

>>15439604
Itz better to read a Few Good Books many times, than to read Many regular books a few times.

[Anonymous No.15445955]

I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID DREAMS

[Anonymous No.15445957]

for each star in the sky, i'd need another taste of your lips
for every moonlit night, an embrace everlasting
even the most breathtaking aurora would envy a glance at your soul

with the smile of my muse, i could write a thousand volumes
your voice gentle and tender as a temperate rain
my love for you a whirlwind, a howling storm

the wind sings and echos my praises for you
a melody of the heart heard only in the periphery of my deepest dreams
a siren's call, a song only the soul could truly speak
in a thousand languages long forgotten, it whispers, "i love you."

i love you.

[Anonymous No.15445962]

this >>15445955 wasn't directed at you >>15445818 lmao

[Anonymous No.15445965]

>>15445910
Ignore >>15445955, I liked your post.

[Anonymous No.15445999]

>>15444088
In my dreams I have been visited by two historical figures. Both, coincidentally, were Frenchmen. Rimbaud and Descartes. These somnolent visions inclined me to believe that dreams are a window into a strange alternate reality and that there is something deeper and incalculable at work in all our minds. Because when I met these two in my dreams it struck me with unshakeable faithful certitude that these were in fact them, exactly as they were. Something in my mind had exact knowledge of them that transcended any media or available information.

Decartes had an incredible mole on his cheek and told me to go away when I knocked on his door, which strikes me as exactly what he would say. When I finally got him to open up he was a quick, tiny man, with extraordinary glam-band hair and eyes that darted rapidly over the piece of paper I showed him.

When Rimbaud visited me it was after the most horrific dream. He was thin, wispy, neatly dressed but his hair wild. He held both my hands and looked directly into my eyes with his own, startlingly sincere, sad dreamy blue eyes. "Come with me," he implored, his gaze unflinching and filled with a saintly, almost christlike compassion. It's sad to say I have never been so earnestly and sincerely addressed by anyone like that in my waking life. There was an unsurpassed intensity in it.

[Anonymous No.15446015]

>>15445999
>Decartes had an incredible mole on his cheek and told me to go away when I knocked on his door, which strikes me as exactly what he would say.
You just wrote "what I thought Descartes would say strikes me as exactly what I think he would say". No shit.

[Anonymous No.15446038]

>>15445955
Fuck people for having emotions and having nowhere else to share them amirite?

[Anonymous No.15446055]

>>15445999
God himself visited me once in a dream to tell me what I should do. I'm inclined to agree with you.

[Anonymous No.15446058]

I can’t sleep when it’s this hot at night, holy crap..

[Anonymous No.15446078]

How can I become intimate with someone? Is it even worth it?

[Anonymous No.15446132]

>>15446078
Caring.
Yes.

[Anonymous No.15446199]

>>15439620
narrow it down
find beauty in small things ...like a rose petal

[Anonymous No.15446241]

>>15446038
see >>15445962
I wasn't talking about anyone in this thread goddammit

[Anonymous No.15446290]

I think it's maybe time I learn on my own, unhindered by the shackles of society.
My mind is rotting in there. It's been months since the lockdown started and I haven't done anything worthwhile. Is that how elderly people feel?

[Anonymous No.15446324]

>>15443984
>"My mind was formed by studing philosophy, Plato and that sort of thing."

I like how Heisenberg makes his statement sound so dumb but smart at the same time by using Plato as his point of reference.

[Anonymous No.15446334]

>>15446324
Shit, wrong reply.

[Anonymous No.15446353]

I go from periods of heavy asceticism to heavy indulgence. What's wrong with me? How do I break this cycle? I would rather be moderate but I just can't.

[Anonymous No.15446362]

>>15444762
Yes, being ignorant on a deeper level. Its something along the lines that i understand the statement of personal responsibility but its not really liberating.

[Anonymous No.15446779]

>>15445098
God made man from dust (body/natural) then breathed life into it (soul/supernatural). The fourth dimension idea might be something related to special relativity (time in science), and time is important in Augustine (time in religion):
https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/augustine/#CreaTime
Maybe his idea combines SR and Augustine.

[Anonymous No.15446975]

>>15444708
>Bur that attachment comes from our beliefs about the world right?
Hm, I don't think it's that clear.
For example, we may develop a specific kind of attachment due to our upbringing. It's true that that itself can affect our beliefs, which can have an impact on the conflict. I wouldn't say it's as causal as belief leading to conflict. The link doesn't necessarily have to be causal here.

>Is the funny guy going to feel bad because he's no longer the funniest man in the room and no longer playing that role, or is it because he's internalized the belief that value comes from him making others laugh, and now he's failing to do so?
That's an interesting question. I imagine, in the play, that the world of such funny guy would crumble and he'd be depressed. Not particularly because the role itself, but he'd be like a defeated representative of a particular archetype because he embodies the "funny guy", yet there's a guy who's funnier than him. I also think that it would be an interesting device if the less funny guy accepted his role and in the end, they could coexist with the more funny guy.
Irregardless, to answer the question, I think he would be depressed because he can no longer fulfil the role. Although I take this to be very specific for the play because characters in play are somewhat above 'the human' to me. In our daily life, it would have a different kind of complexity.

[Anonymous No.15447002]

Do you think it is possible for someone to completely reconstruct their ego, identity, and self perception? Or is there some core to their being that is rigid and unchangeable no matter how malleable their other characteristics might be?

[Anonymous No.15447046]

I’ve been afforded a glimpse of immanent human depravity. Of cannibalism, selling out your neighbor, war horrors etc. And what have a gleaned? How will this affect my actions? The sickness that permeates my body. Death drive coursing crude black blood through me. Does its strength scare you? Indeed. But I can deny your tricks Satan! This mind is mine, you merely lie saying it’s not. I will achieve reconciliation! The ash these flows have been reduced to... by my hand... That energy hangs thick in the air. Pure carbon ready for the Apollonian to mold... I hear the call! I am joyed it is clear! A test for me, NOW we will see what my conscience is capable of. The field has been cleared, slashed and burned. The soil is raw. I am eager to get my hands in it.

[Anonymous No.15447055]

>>15447002
>ego, identity
We'd have to be very specific on the definition of these terms. Although for the purpose of your question, we don't need to go too deep because I think that at the core you are asking if it possible to completely reconstruct or change a person, their behaviour, and perception.
>is there some core to their being that is rigid and unchangeable no matter how malleable their other characteristics might be
It's not so much that there is an unchangeable core. It's more that the real self can be revealed and 'lived through'. I personally really like Carl Rogers' take on this. His idea also was that a therapy, under right conditions, leads to the person living out his true self. True self is not fixed though, it's a continuous process.
Now to answer your question as to whether it is possible, I would say yes. This doesn't mean you can eradicate the real self though. You just create a persona that is so strong and you are so over-identified with it that you don't know what your true self could be.
The case study for this kind of pathology is Tony Robbins.

[Anonymous No.15447067]

I've written in my dreams two times in my life. Both times, it felt like the most incredible writing to me, like it was the ultimate manifestation of my own personal style, and the content of my writing was deeply personal and emotional. But when I wake up I can only remember some bare snippets of what I was writing about and I don't feel like I can recreate that prose. Have you guys ever experienced anything like that?

[Anonymous No.15447085]

>>15447055
>that a therapy, under right conditions, leads to the person living out his true self
Not that anon but is it possible to do this without therapy?

[Anonymous No.15447091]

My Jungian shadow came out today. How can I create a healthy relationship with it?

[Anonymous No.15447121]

>>15447091
What do you mean came out?

[Anonymous No.15447147]

>>15447121
I acted rude and bullheaded and hurt people. I hadn’t really seen that side of me before and upon reflection it took me aback.

[Anonymous No.15447163]

>>15447085
I mean, technically it should be, although I cannot bring up a practical example. I know this in part from a therapeutic experience.
I guess if you had the right conditions, then it could be possible.
For example, Rogers talks about the unconditional acceptance and positive regard. Now, therapist can do that with you, but can you be unconditionally accepting and positive toward yourself? Not impossible, I just haven't experienced it.

[Anonymous No.15447179]

>>15439604
western mind is shit and is victim of a parasitical subversion but none of you faggots think in a correct framework which can internalize a continuous opposing psychological force that is trying everything it can to take advantage of your simple naivety so it's like watching a bunch of blind dumb sheep throwing themselves into the slaughter house thinking they're enlightened beings.

Garbage boys.

[Anonymous No.15447181]

>>15447147
Acknowledge this reaction as a part of yourself without shame.

[Anonymous No.15447183]

>>15445957
i love you too, anon

[Anonymous No.15447190]

>>15445731
>Either ways, I'm positively repulsed by most of the Old Testament.
What's the point of including in the Bible then?

[Anonymous No.15447204]

>>15447163
Were you in therapy? Did it help in the long run?

[Anonymous No.15447219]

Due in part to deep social isolation and negligent parents growing up, I feel utterly unable to connect with other people and care about them, resulting in crippling loneliness which remains the only piece of my psyche I cannot master.

[Anonymous No.15447228]

>>15447204
Yeah, I'm still in therapy.
Depends on what you mean by the long run. I've been in for over three months now.
I would say it helped me a lot though. After the first month I took more things into my hands and decided on the way I want to live more clearly.

[Anonymous No.15447286]

>dont know how to make lasting connections with people
>dont know what im going to do with my life or what ill be doing in 5 years
>dont have any education or skills
>senses have become dull
>feel detached from my body
>stopped going to church over 6 months ago
>have dreams where im in Hell
>have access to firearms and ammo at work and am unsupervised 90% of my day
Im starting to think the whole predestination of souls thing might be legit. Every time I had the chance to clean up my life and do better I didn't take it. Every problem I have is completely my fault and I don't doubt that when I die I'll suffer the consequences of my actions.

[Anonymous No.15447292]

Why am I always either completely restless or completely bored?

[Anonymous No.15447323]

What terrifies me about myself is the impulse to jump when near a cliff. I can’t say that if before me were a button that nukes the world I wouldn’t press it.

[Anonymous No.15447327]

>>15447323
>I can’t say that if before me were a button that nukes the world I wouldn’t press it.
Please do. For all of our sakes.

[Anonymous No.15447329]

>>15447292
Undiagnosed attention disorder?

[Anonymous No.15447333]

>>15447292
Read Schopenhauer

[Anonymous No.15447340]

>>15447292
No one can give you an accurate reason based just on your short description.
>>15447329
Holy fuck. You really have to be kidding me.

[Anonymous No.15447342]

>>15442796
>I feel like most anime watchers are mainly obsessed with Japanese culture itself and watch anime as an ode to the cultural references and authenticity of Japanese media itself.
I’ve become convinced that many white Westerners, but Americans in particular, watch anime because they sense in it relics of influence from their own former culture which is now all but dead and buried. I’ve noticed, for example, that pop punk and metalcore, which were hugely popular among young white Americans in the 90s and early 2000s for some reason moved to Japan in the 2000s before it died in the US. If you listed to Japanese music and watch Japanese media, it’s distinctly Japanese but it also has significant American pop influence.

Here’s an example of a song in an anime OP from 2018:

https://youtu.be/-GoZOCNSIYw

This is something that feels our own, as an American, but yet is only really coming out of Japan for the last 10 years. While we’ve let our authentic artistic cultural expression die here, they’ve pretty much adopted it and ran with it. I think a lot of people can sense it. I made a thread about this on /int/ but it didn’t get any replies.

[Anonymous No.15447476]

>>15443989
any recs?

[Anonymous No.15447485]

>>15447342
>While we’ve let our authentic artistic cultural expression die here
good, pop punk sucked
>I made a thread about this on /int/ but it didn’t get any replies.
:(

[Anonymous No.15447488]

>>15439620
Find something that forces you into the now. Like something big you can jump off of into water.

[Anonymous No.15447515]

>>15445437
based schizo

[Anonymous No.15447545]

>>15447476
Pic related, the entire thin man series still holds up.

[Anonymous No.15447578]

>>15447342
I think you are broadly correct. No doubt at all that Japanophilia has been a trend in the West since the 18th century because Westerners are able to recognise in the Japanese a strong, unique, robust cultural tradition which resembles Western cultures at their best. Japan can feel almost like a bizarre version of the West, where everything is familiar but completely reversed. In fact, the Portuguese missionaries noted as such upon their first encounters with the Japanese.

Perhaps an appreciation for Japan's unique and identifiable culture feeling has grown stronger as Western culture has grown less enriching, even as Japan's culture morphs and adapts and transforms in its own ways. It's kind of paradoxical as you point out, Japan adapts Western styles and yet it doesn't feel like copying - it is somehow made unique in the process. I am not one of those people who fetishizes Japan or overly glamorizes them, but I do love the culture. It's hard to put a finger exactly on why, sometimes.

[Anonymous No.15447587]

>>15447342

>If The Killers were female and Japanese

[Anonymous No.15447593]

>>15447545
nice, thank you very much anon

[Anonymous No.15447606]

>>15445437
I think things like this too, dw anon. But you'd be surprised once you're in those types of environments how little quality control there really is. People generally do the bare minimum that is required in order to get something basically passable - even in really high budget industries. The idea that people work hard and pore over every little detail is really just an assumption we make as consumers because we don't know any better and that's the impression we are sold.

[Anonymous No.15447675]

>>15439604
When I die, throw a couple bad bitches in my casket, woah

[Anonymous No.15447705]

What do you think about a government being obligated to aid in the preservation of a minority language or culture?
In Sweden, cultural identity is seen as an essential, as a right, and there are laws that give certain minorities the right to be educated in their language even if they're the only ones being taught it in the whole school.

[Anonymous No.15447777]

>>15447705
Sweden is never a good example for anything.

[Anonymous No.15447781]

food

[Anonymous No.15447807]

>>15447777
What are your thoughts on the topic though?
Personally, I'm for the idea of government support, but I don't think it should be a right like it is now. Cultural heritage is not necessary for forming an identity, so I don't view it as an essential.

[Anonymous No.15447841]

>>15447807
It depends really what culture in what context we are talking about. Personally, I don't want a government to meddle with my identity, create or sell my cultural background, but the state is needed to secure it. A right to learn a language should be the case if it is needed and affordable. Gaelic in Ireland? Yes. Mongolian dialects in Smörebrödländ? I don't know.

[Anonymous No.15447847]

>>15439604
I wish I didn't move for education. If I had those four years with her, all would have been different. I have seen her again - I returned home for the duration of the quarantine.
Ah, too late now. She leaves soon. Now it is immaterial. My part now is to commit to my studies and look to the future. But I am also sorry for her. To a certain extent, she truly needs a guiding hand, and she will only find sharks where she is going. But, this is essential to the relation of merely private persons - that they have no true obligation to each other, or power over each other, and that all connections are accidental effencts, those of passion-led arbitrariness.

[Anonymous No.15447850]

>>15447841
You got something against Mongolia?

[Anonymous No.15447872]

>>15447850
no, they're based af, but I'm not sure if it should be a right and people able to sue Sweden for not providing throat-chant plane-conversation education.

[Anonymous No.15447879]

>>15447777

[Anonymous No.15447920]

>>15447485
>good, pop punk sucked
You don’t have to like it but you can’t deny that it was a far more authentic expression than SoundCloud mumble rap.

>>15447578
>Perhaps an appreciation for Japan's unique and identifiable culture feeling has grown stronger as Western culture has grown less enriching
Yes. Exactly. I’ve observed this because it’s been the case for me.

>It's kind of paradoxical as you point out, Japan adapts Western styles and yet it doesn't feel like copying - it is somehow made unique in the process.
They’ve done an excellent job at keeping the core of their media, for example, Japanese while drawing heavily from American pop-media elements.

> I am not one of those people who fetishizes Japan or overly glamorizes them, but I do love the culture. It's hard to put a finger exactly on why, sometimes.
Nor am I. I’m not a weeb Japan fetishist. I’m in my late twenties. I watched a lot of anime when I was a kid, none in college or immediately post-college, and just recently started watching again at like 25 but I’ve done it for the reason I mentioned earlier. From the outside looking in, Japanese culture has managed to do 2 things: 1) it’s managed to retain a certain something important which was probably always lacking in the West. This makes it foreign yet attractive. For example, I admire how structured Japanese society is for young people. It seems as though there’s really no question for say, a teenager, as to what they should be doing and where. Society places relatively clear expectations on them and provides rules, which are not meant simply to imprison them but also provide a boundary that they can grow inside of and network of people who form a cohesive unit. In America, we have never had that. We have a culture that has you do whatever you want, wherever you want, whenever you want and at the end of the day you’re always absolutely on your own to deal with the successes or failures of that. We kick kids out of the house at 18 to let them figure it out without any rigid boundaries or structures. In the end, you end up alienated and alone if it doesn’t turn out right. 2) they’ve managed to take the things from the West that those of us who were young in the chaos that was the new millenia and post-9/11 schizophrenia and keep it alive. It makes the culture feel somehow familiar as if it’s an image for us of what could have been. Of course, all of this is subject to change with increasing immigration and such and who knows if it’s just a grass is greener outside looking in thing but I personally find it interesting.

[Anonymous No.15447931]

I wish this site weren't overrun by hostile incels and /pol/tards.

[Anonymous No.15447946]

>>15447841
In Sweden, a minority language becomes official and receives certain rights and benefits once it's been spoken continually for three generations. Meaning Arabic will be an official minority language in around 50 years.
I'm not sure what you mean by "meddle." The government provides financial aid, education, and special administration zones that enable minorities to communicate with local authorities in their language.
Also not sure what you mean by "needed." On what do you base that on?

[Anonymous No.15447963]

Evil is not necessarily an action that is against your interests. Evil is a reversion of disgusting things being beautiful, it’s being fascinated by the macabre. Disgusting things are not evil, it is the disgust as the reason for fascination that is evil. Having gay masochistic sex outings doesn’t necessarily drain your bank account, or necessarily give you an STD. On the other hand if you steal money from someone, and you are forced to pay reparations beyond what you stole, that goes against your interests, but it is not evil. It is justice.
Gay sex is not necessarily evil, and neither is straight sex. But viewing incest as the perfect dynamic, or stealing as a noble act, shoving eels in a woman, or a cuckold fetishized that is an inversion of value, it is an upside down impulse.
I don’t say this to tell you what you are. I say this like windshield wipers on a dirty car. Take a long hard look for yourself and realize what you are and accept it.
“God will forgive you, but that doesn’t mean you should forgive yourself.”
In the same way God judges you but that doesn’t mean you should judge yourself, but none of us can afford to be blind.

[Anonymous No.15447969]

>>15447841
>A right to learn a language should be the case if it is needed and affordable.
Also, can it really be called a right if it's circumstantial?

[Anonymous No.15447976]

>>15441897
>>15442080
Good compositions lads.

[Anonymous No.15447989]

>>15447931
whats wrong with incels?

[Anonymous No.15447995]

>>15441897
I got through two sentences and your pretentiousness gave me a rash.

[Anonymous No.15448002]

>>15447228
Best of luck to you in journey. I hope i'll be able to afford the therapist some day, in the meanwhile i'll just read rodgers on my own.

[Anonymous No.15448012]

>>15447963
Evil is making permanent alterations to things you do not understand, but want to control.

[Anonymous No.15448033]

>>15448012
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3xjwTNeaho

[Anonymous No.15448343]

>>15448012
Hard disagree. If you start to suffer from headaches and pain throughout the body from eating bad, and you begin to eat a diet of vegetables and whole grains, you do not understand that the biology of your red blood cells, you don’t understand the pumping of your heart. All you understand is that changing the food you eat makes you feel better.

[Anonymous No.15448426]

I desperately wish I could be 16 again today knowing what I know now.

[Anonymous No.15448776]

>>15448002
Thank you. Best of luck to you too.

[Anonymous No.15448837]

>after shit shower
>waste 10 mins throwing water at my asshole to be sure it's clean
How do I stop doing that

[Anonymous No.15448846]

>>15448426
What do you know now?

[Anonymous No.15448872]

Does no one remember this? >>15442627

[Anonymous No.15448890]

>>15448837
stop taking showers in shit

[Anonymous No.15448948]

>>15447989
Nothing inherently but the vocal ones you see are all spewing retarded misogynistic rhetoric that is divorced from reality or anecdotal at best. There's usually also a degree of hypocrisy since there are plenty of socially, financially, and physically unattractive females that they could realistically pursue but they choose not to because of their standards. Then they blame the desirable females for holding them to the same set of standards. It's quite cringe and defeatist.

[Anonymous No.15448967]

>>15448948
>There's usually also a degree of hypocrisy since there are plenty of socially, financially, and physically unattractive females that they could realistically pursue but they choose not to because of their standards. Then they blame the desirable females for holding them to the same set of standards. It's quite cringe and defeatist.
is this feminism?

[Anonymous No.15448972]

>>15448837
Learn to clean yourself someday

[Anonymous No.15448979]

>>15448948
you have to go back

[Anonymous No.15449002]

>>15448979
>Reddit bad bc it's an echo chamber and le downdoots dissuades open discussion!
>anyone who disagrees with me has to go back!
Stop embarrassing yourself sweaty

[Anonymous No.15449003]

Mr horn was horny,
Honk honk honk,
He screamed at the bazaar,
I seek a Jezebel, a lilith and a jar,

A jar? What abomination do you seek,
Begone devil, let us never speak,

Shut up, fuck boy,
Give me what I seek,
Be coy and pay with you skin,
Give me the jar, let me begin

Else face my rage,
I will burst and cover your snow white,
One pump
Two pump
Three pump ,four,
I am a God for 10 pumps more

[Anonymous No.15449042]

>>15439604
i won't :^)

[Anonymous No.15449103]

i wish i was rich.

[Anonymous No.15449153]

>>15448846
I’m 27. It would be impossible to condense all 11 years in into a simple reply but I guess I would say the most important thing is that I know more about myself and what I should do here.

[Anonymous No.15449429]

I saw a scarlet tanager for the first time in the forest preserve the other day, and was going to write about it in my journal, but that same day I ate a plate of violently spicy Indian food and became too sick to write. Man is ruled by his gut; our emotional and intellectual well-being is at all times subject to the internal movement of shit, semen, and stomach acid. That's why jokes about poop will always be funny.

>>15447342
>I’ve become convinced that many white Westerners, but Americans in particular, watch anime because they sense in it relics of influence from their own former culture which is now all but dead and buried.
This is 100% accurate. "Cool Japan," in all its manifestations, is just the result of western pop culture being imported into Japan and then being exported some time later. Anime, manga, etc. are far less exotic to westerners than most people make them out to be, and I'd go so far as to say none of them were ever completely Japanese to begin with. None of the local cultural influences I've seen people point to are much older than the early 20th century, and that's when Japan was taking in western stuff by the boatload.

[Anonymous No.15449628]

>>15440326
Anime is pretty based anon, try some manga too

[Anonymous No.15449895]

>>15449628
I don’t know. I think I’m too old for this stuff in general.

[Anonymous No.15449910]

>>15448343
But that’s a matter of maintainability. It’s still reversible.

[Anonymous No.15449976]

I want to be waked like this to such beautiful sean-nós:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHA6rAXudZ8

[Anonymous No.15450038]

>>15447578
This I think is very accurate, having been interested in anime for a long time now, and having that transitioned to an interesting in japanese culture in general, it makes sense that it’s because it’s very identifiable to me, where as American culture isn’t as visible to me

[Anonymous No.15450046]

>>15447342
I love this song

[Anonymous No.15450073]

>>15449895
That’s fair, maybe you are. Maybe do it through a different lense. You aren’t watching anime for purely entertainment, but because you are critiquing it in some way, or soemthing of a similar nature

[Anonymous No.15450169]

Working kinda sucks. I don’t like my corporate office job, and want to run away to a menial service job that doesn’t tax my mental as much, where I don’t have to make decisions. I know this is just my immature self looking to void myself of any responsibility. It doesn’t change the fact that’s what I want to do. Does that make it wrong? That I knowingly wish to work beneath what I’m capable because I don’t want to deal with the responsibility of working higher up? I don’t have a passion for what I’m doing now, nor would I have a passion for whatever I move to, but in theory it would alleviate stress and allow me to pursue my personal interests easier outside of work, although less disposable income.

Is the higher disposable income worth the stress it comes with? I think it is up to a point, I don’t think I can do this forever. I plan on at least working this higher paying job until I pay off all my debts, and then exploring other options. I figure that’s a good plan, with no debts at that point the money I make is only for myself.

I just wish I didn’t have to work at all. It would make things so simple. Working occupies such a large portion of my thoughts on my days off, why does it sit there rent free?

I like listening to music not because I’m into music, but because I feel like the minutes go by slower. Think of how long it would take you to listen to a 6 hr playlist, yet that has already passed since I got up this morning.

I’m at the crossroads in a hobby decision, and I don’t know what to do. It’s not something that I can’t ever undo, but it’s confusing nonetheless.

In general I think too much, I think about everything to much. I wish I was more decisive.

[Anonymous No.15450210]

>>15450169
I guess it depends on whether you would like less responsibility in general or whether you would be okay with having more responsibility in a specific kind of job. In the kind of job that you now do not have.

Decisiveness isn't thoughtless either. Engaging in some thought can be pretty beneficial.

[Anonymous No.15450213]

Wondering if this is the peak of imageboard culture.

[Anonymous No.15450252]

>>15447342
The thing that kept me interested in Japanese media was that they provided escapist idealized romance stories that were targeted at men, which is something that does not exist at all in the west, though I've grown pretty tired of it recently and am started to go back to western media. That song is awful by the way.

[Anonymous No.15450284]

>>15450213
this fucking rocks

[Anonymous No.15450296]

>>15450284
That's the point though isn't it?

[Anonymous No.15450327]

>>15450296
any way to browse /s4s/ and other nsfw boards without seeing the obnoxious porn ads? i will not purchase a pass, and don't want to enable adblock, but i might just have to

[Anonymous No.15450334]

>>15450327
>and don't want to enable adblock
Why? That's the easiest way to deal with it.

[Anonymous No.15450349]

>>15448426
I used to think about this a lot. I think everybody does -- it's the natural result of how life and self growth work -- but some focus on it more than others. I had a very poor upbringing and lots of scarring experiences as a child that led me down the wrong paths in life. For a long time, I couldn't let go of how angry I was at my parents and my life circumstances for "ruining" me. I was always thinking of how much better I could have turned out, what kind of person I could have been, and always tried to chase that image but I looked at things with such a negative and defeated light that it felt hopeless and I made little progress.

After a while, I realized that my obsession with the past and inability to let go of it was crippling me in my current life. At some point you just have to accept the things that will never be. But that doesn't mean you can't make anything of yourself in the future. It is better to see the person that you can become rather than the one you could have been. There is a level of self acceptance I have reached (though still with some dissatisfaction, which is necessary for change) that allows me start focusing on other pursuits and exploring new interests, and developing my character in a productive way.

[Anonymous No.15450351]

>>15450334
i don't want this website to die. i don't particularly want to see it profit either. there's no middle ground though is there. asian m00t will sell our data no matter what

[Anonymous No.15450378]

I want to go back to when I was a kid, when my mind and body hadn't been corrupted and I could enjoy things sincerely. I hate everything about adulthood. I hate having sexual urges. I hate how sexuality destroys every scrap of innocence in humanity.

[Anonymous No.15450384]

>>15450252
>The thing that kept me interested in Japanese media was that they provided escapist idealized romance stories that were targeted at men
More or less the same. I’ve actually found some aspects of it quite depressing.

[Anonymous No.15450388]

>>15450378
Why does having sexual urges mean you can't enjoy things sincerely anymore?

[Anonymous No.15450399]

>>15450349
How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking.

[Anonymous No.15450403]

>>15450384
>I’ve actually found some aspects of it quite depressing.
Sometimes it fills the hole for a little while, other times it just aggravates my loneliness and makes me feel even worse. I've found if I just get away from it I eventually start to stabilize and don't feel quite as bad, so I think on the whole it's probably a negative.

[Anonymous No.15450409]

>>15449895
>>15450073
Just do what you want, don't be pretentious.

[Anonymous No.15450427]

>>15450388
I don't think it's the only thing that causes it, it's just one aspect (perhaps the primary aspect) of becoming an adult.

[Anonymous No.15450432]

>>15439997
>>15445362
Love her now and let yourself fully embrace that love. When she must leave let her go. Let yourself grieve the relationship. Let the pain in and let it inform you. Everyone who isn't empathizing with you is a literal virgin.

[Anonymous No.15450448]

>>15450399
26 in a couple weeks. I guess I am still young by some standards, but it feels like I have blown passed my youth without realizing it, and that is part of why I had such a difficult time letting go of my wasting of it. If I were to have the same crisis at 50, 60, 70, would I be able to adopt the mentality I have recently? I'm not sure, but I think that by following my new path I will be able to avoid that fate, at least to an extent.

[Anonymous No.15450502]

>>15450210
I don’t think it’s responsibility in general, i think it’s the specific type of responsibility I’ve been given in my current position I don’t want. I consider myself fairly responsible in my personal life with my own matters, I’m paying off my loans and taking care of other personal issues (car accident stuff) in a timely manner with no problem.

I’d trade the responsibility of my current job for more rigid personal fiscal responsibility any day.

[Anonymous No.15450528]

>>15450210
>>15450502
I find in general if I’m told what to do I’ll have it done and accomplished no problem, even put my own work and spin on it whatever it might be, but when I’ve been given vague and open ended directions is where I seem to falter and the stress piles up. Maybe that’s how everyone is, but I feel that’s definitely how I am.

[Anonymous No.15450535]

>>15450403
Exactly. I watched one recently. It was the first one I’ve watched in years. It was a romantic one that had obviously fantastical elements but wasn’t ridiculous. The story and main character were relatable to me to completely eery degree. I mean down to minor details mirroring my own life and experiences with the exception of the main character’s love arc so I obviously invested in it and it left me really depressed because of how lonely I am in spite of it. So, it’s interesting to hear you say that. That probably sounds pathetic but whatever. It was so eery to me I couldn’t help it.

[Anonymous No.15450540]

>>15450502
Then maybe it's a matter of the job itself.
Maybe somewhere else it would be suitable for you to have more responsibility.
I'm saying this because I think that if you dislike the responsibility in your current job, it doesn't mean you must compromise on the money as much. Something else is suitable for you.

[Anonymous No.15450571]

>>15450448
I only ask because I just turned 27 and what you said basically resonates with me. There’s just a lot of regret there and feelings of missed, I don’t know, opportunities, realizations maybe. It’s hard to stay optimistic when you’re hair is starting to thin, your job isn’t where you want it to be, you’re kind of lonely, and you’re looking at 30 on the horizon. It feels no longer okay to be an emotional kid still figuring things out though that’s how you feel.

[Anonymous No.15450629]

>>15450535
I got out of anime years ago and primarily just read VNs, which are like crack for this kind of thing and way more escapist than anime. You get to be the main character and date whichever girls you choose and fuck them, etc. If you ever want to truly go down the rabbit-hole, that's the way, though I don't necessarily recommend it.

[Anonymous No.15450636]

>>15450540
I see what you’re saying, the only thing I fear is that any job in a similar financial bracket maybe just the same kind of thing, but who is to say for sure. Thanks anon, I’ll do some more research about some of my options

[Anonymous No.15450669]

>>15450629
>VNs
You mean visual novels? I’ve read at least one for the show I mentioned even though I’m probably too old to be reading those. Honestly, though that doesn’t sound to appealing. I’m not too into the whole fuck any girl in the harem sort of thing. I know it’s weird but this story was a lot more real and emotional, at least to me, and that’s what got to me.

[Anonymous No.15450683]

>>15450571
I'm not the person you're responding to but I have heard similar sentiments from both my parents who both recently turned 50.

[Anonymous No.15450699]

as days roll by I have less and less to say

[Anonymous No.15450709]

tomorrow I'll turn my whole life around and it'll be fantastic

[Anonymous No.15450710]

>>15450669
>You mean visual novels? I’ve read at least one for the show I mentioned even though I’m probably too old to be reading those.
Do you mind telling me what it was? I may have read it as well. There aren't too many where what you said would even apply since they tend to have bland non-character protagonists so I might have an idea already.
>Honestly, though that doesn’t sound to appealing. I’m not too into the whole fuck any girl in the harem sort of thing. I know it’s weird but this story was a lot more real and emotional, at least to me, and that’s what got to me.
Well, these games do usually treat every relationship as fully monogamous and try to give each girl their own story to go with it. It's more like alternate timelines or something (some games even treat that as a plot device).

[Anonymous No.15450717]

>tfw realizing mindfulness isn’t just a meme invented by middle aged white women
wtf I love boomer pop psychology now!

[Anonymous No.15450746]

>>15450710
>Do you mind telling me what it was?
Seishun Buta Yarou. It wasn’t the light novel that got me. It was the anime and the movie. I know this probably makes no sense at all to anyone but me.

[Anonymous No.15450772]

I can't dig philosophy any more. Can't read more than 30-45 mins w/out thinking "Who fucking cares?" Used to love it when I was younger. Still love fiction and science/math but philosophy just does me in right now. How can I love this stuff again?

[Anonymous No.15450784]

He's calling.

[Anonymous No.15450807]

>>15450746
Not what I thought it was, oh well. I think we're talking about two different things actually. I didn't mean light novels, I was talking about visual novels, which are a sort of video game where you read through the story (see pic). But yeah I've definitely had things affect me in that strong of a way. It helps but it leaves you empty at the same time.

[Anonymous No.15450822]

>>15450571
>It feels no longer okay to be an emotional kid still figuring things out though that’s how you feel.
Honestly, I think that that's something almost everybody continues to feel. Maybe people with more comfortable lives do not confront it as often, but it still happens. I know that I will probably still be figuring things out until the day I die. And I am sure that when I am on my death bed, some part of me will still feel like a naive kid. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I guess that after feeling that way for so long, I've just come to accept it as part of life and part of who I am.

[Anonymous No.15450845]

>>15450746
Hah, he's actually a fan of bootleg Monogatari. Point and laugh.

[Anonymous No.15450846]

>>15450669
>this story was a lot more real and emotional, at least to me
What story was it, if I may ask?

[Anonymous No.15450853]

>>15450784
well tell him to fuck off i'm not done yet

[Anonymous No.15450859]

>>15450846
>>15450746
Oh nevermind, I just saw your post. I've actually seen some of that show too. I didn't finish it but I remember it resonating with me in a similar way, as ridiculous as the premise might be.

[Anonymous No.15450879]

>>15450807
>I've definitely had things affect me in that strong of a way. It helps but it leaves you empty at the same time.
Yeah. Pretty much this only amplified because of the eery identifiableness.

> Monogatari
Have never heard of this. I’m not really an anime/manga fan. I’ve just been checking it out recently.

> I didn't finish it but I remember it resonating with me in a similar way, as ridiculous as the premise might be.
Good to know, I guess.

[Anonymous No.15450887]

>>15450822
>I think that that's something almost everybody continues to feel
I think that’s probably true. I would be lying if I said it was amplified to extremes by feelings of loneliness and lack of direction too thougH.

[Anonymous No.15450978]

>>15450887
Yeah, I get that. I still struggle with those things too. I guess I just feel like I have found a little more direction in my life since I stopped thinking about the past so much. It seems like too much looking back, regretting and longing, those things have a kind of paralyzing effect on people, or at least they did for me. And despite the fact that I haven't really addressed my loneliness at all, I haven't felt its influence as much lately, perhaps because I have some things in my life to focus on now which help distract me from it, though I'm sure it will hit me again sooner or later.

[Anonymous No.15451422]

>>15450378
I know when I had sex for the first time that there was a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I was saying goodbye to the last part of my childhood.

[Anonymous No.15451758]

This is what happens when you study computer science

[Anonymous No.15452168]

Another one. Echo chamber of iteration imbued with variation of patterns. One and another.