Is it too much?

[Anonymous No.15150022]

I wrote a nice poem in tribute to Terry Davis, but is it too vulgar? Terry, schizophrenic he was, made liberal use of profanity.

The van was cozy of late, but he did not like this night
It was a void this time, not mere absence of light
Any man might have taken fright
The interior light of his van was small comfort, it did not set things right
Not near enough lumens
to again make his mood bright

Into the void he gazed, he could barely make it out
Yet there could not be any doubt
something moved towards him, obviously en route
"Not again!" Said Terry, for already was he annoyed
Thus came the creature, as if born from the void.

Slowly it creeped closer, but Terry was no fool,
for he had spotted the thing
by it's fateful drool.
He could swear upon the grave of his mother
That there was no mistaking that vaugely human figure,
It was none other
than a CIA nigger!

"I must confront the darkies whom shadow my familiar footprints, too plainly laid out behind my path!
Soon shall these monkeys
taste of my wrath!"

Lest the present undertaking
leave them in mourning
To his stream he alerted, did give them this warning:
"They glow in the dark!"
Now opens the window
And proclaimed his remark:

"You are a dumb nigger. You are the blackest retard gorilla nigger I have ever seen."
"By what witch have you beheld me despite abyss!? You are very mean!"
"I engage no sorceress; Your glow is beyond any veil. I am blameless that in the heart of darkness, ever are you conspicuous as a decorated queen!"
"I am an envoy of that quietist but mightiest of the alphabet orders, dread CIA!
And doubly do you agrieve yourself,
to affront not only a negro in federal pay,
but also now a woman, for the surgeon's knife hath touched me
but only the other day!

A queen Indeed! Compound and expound your regret, and acry it loud to all, preferrably in a tweet."
"And if I not partake
in such a grousome feat?"
"I shall rouse mine own followers, faithful and true.
Their grammer and deceit
you'll appraise not a treat
You shall tremble to behold
Just how they vastly they retweet
For I'll suffer not even in jape,
To receive from any cracker
the base title of nigger!"

"Suffer then my tears instead you ashy jungle ape,
for that ass should be so much the bigger!
Go deepthroat that .45 you doubtless conceal and I'll teach you to pull the trigger!"

"Now get thee hence, quit this place and divest your present employment at once!
Find work as a rigger
One of a few jobs,
Fit for a nigger.
And utter not again the words of men
You who are barely above the hen!"

It fled from his presence,
back into the night,
returned to base essence
and not without fright.

Parted now from his worldly peers
Removed from all our earthly fears
Terry endures in hearts still in pain,
In their shedding of quiet tears
Those silent screams beyond refrain.

And though I know I should rejoice his passing to the Father's eternal keeping
For me the grief remains too near and so please forgive me
I cannot stay my weeping

[Anonymous No.15150425]

i like

[Anonymous No.15151802]

bump

[Anonymous No.15151988]

>>15150022
>I must confront the darkies whom shadow my familiar footprints

In phrases like this, where a noun is used as both a subject and an object, you should use "who" instead of "whom".

[Anonymous No.15152491]

>>15151988
Yes, I concede there is a native laziness to many of my scribblings. Few laymen notice them and I generally do not fret over it. In this instance I employ the vague excuse of substance being more important than form. That one has broad application, many situations, it is a premium protestation.
Dumb shit like the above and being able to quote the entirety of a couple movies verbatim are embedded in my head and take up precious space that should be occupied with other things but isn't.
Things like appropriate use of who and whom.

[Anonymous No.15153461]

>>15150022
It is ok