/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.15143110]

literature on the psychology behind the concept of deriving pleasure from findom or any other form of masochism like cuckolding and humilitation?

[Anonymous No.15143150]

>>15143110
they dont derive pleasure from it, they just want to have some kind of contact with a pretty girl but are so retarded this is the only thing they can figure out

[Anonymous No.15143153]

>>15143110
Why is it called findom when it should be femdom. Are you being dominated by the Finns?

[Anonymous No.15143166]

>>15143153
financial domination, femdom is general female domination

[Anonymous No.15143173]

>>15143153
>Are you being dominated by the Finns?
Aren’t we all?
>>15143110
These people need to be forcibly institutionalized for anti-social behavior (both the dom and the sub) and all their assets seized and put into the public fund

[Anonymous No.15143185]

>>15143150
I understand the findom part, what about cuckold or humilitation joi porn?

[Anonymous No.15143214]

>>15143110
I thought this was already settled. they are insecure about the masculinity/or in their ability to either attract or hold a woman so they fetishise it assert control over their worries. if you make it your fetish you control you insecurity about.

[Anonymous No.15143288]

>>15143150
For me it was never about the girl, it was about submission having real consequences. It was also about findom being taboo and against my usual frugal nature. The sacrifice, the degradation and the shame all contributed to me getting off; it was all mental. Seeing/hearing someone talking about findom totally put me off as it brought me back to reality and disgusted me. I just wanted them to click with my other perversions and know how to write, I genuinely didn't care who was behind the keyboard.

Extremely degenerate, I know, but for some lifelong porn addicts the quest for novelty can lead us down this awful path. Thankfully I have been away from this world for over two years now, they were my darkest days.

[Anonymous No.15143407]

If you want literature, try Freud's Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis (Pelican & Penguin have them collected in a single book). If you want my rough summary, here it is. However, remember that this is about 300 pages condensed into a few lines...

You have an ego and a libido (self explanatory hopefully). They are often in conflict. We'll focus on the libido, but remember that the ego is also important for this. I'll list a few reasons why the libido will take 'perverted' stimuli as pleasurable:

> Your unconscious treats contraries as equal (lots of interesting stuff on this in his lectures). This means the childhood desire to dominate, possibly stemming from an Oedipus Complex or from a Castration Complex, may be reversed into a desire to be dominated. This is called displacement.
> It may stem from trauma. Perhaps you were raped or bullied. This creates something called a fixation, leading to a fetish (more in the lectures, once again).
For cuckolding, I believe the best explanation is either A) parental/incestuous or B) part of infantile regression.
> A) If you were aroused by watching others having sex (likely a parent, due to domestic milieu), this may lead to a trauma/fixation. As a result, you get a fetish of watching (there's a proper word for this)
> B) As an infant, you don't feel disgust at actions, whether incestuous, homosexual, etc. This means that you likely will have been willing to have auto-erotic pleasure at a cuckold/voyeur situation, if the hypothetical was possible for an infant. However, this is quickly beaten out of you by education and civilisation. When puberty comes around... Boom, your libido now needs satisfaction and needs to resort to infantile satisfaction. This means people likely develop these cuckold fetishes out of lack of sex. As a result, quite comically, cucks actually are innately incels.

Hope this helps OP. Also, I don't agree with everything Freud says, it's only a theory at the end of the day so there's no need to. Just take it all as a possibility and consider it.

[Anonymous No.15143501]

>>15143407
very interesting, thanks.

[Anonymous No.15143507]

>>15143407
Any explanation on foot fetishism? Asking for myself.

[Anonymous No.15143525]

>>15143407
So whats the cure? To basically have sex?

[Anonymous No.15143572]

I've sent money, sometimes too much, to various findoms in the last year and a half; yes, I feel nothing but shame. It's just a combination of dopamine addiction, a shitty upbringing that unconsciously led me to regard women as the superior sex, something something during my puberty that led me to have masochist tendencies, being ugly, never receiving attention from women in my entire life

[Anonymous No.15143593]

>>15143525
a bullet applied directly to the skull

[Anonymous No.15143600]

>>15143572
damn bro i hope you make it out of this

[Anonymous No.15143616]

>>15143572
>>15143288
> 2 findom subs already itt
Holy fuck i thought all these 6 digit annual incomes from these whores were larps but now im not so sure. This shit makes my blood boil.

[Anonymous No.15143619]

>>15143110
I know Joyce explored his fetishes in his letters to his wife Nora Barnacle, and famously described the budding of their love in Ulysses. There is a thread in Finnegans Wake about spending money in order to secure some more of the waters of life.

One thing I cannot believe though is that Joyce would ever derive pleasure from being deprived of a burial in the place of his birth, such punishment can only shrivel penises, not engorge them imho.

[Anonymous No.15143627]

>>15143619
>JOYCEJOYCEJOYCEJOYCEJOYCE

[Anonymous No.15143637]

>>15143507
There is a few pages dedicated especially to foot fetishists including case studies actually. I can't remember everything that he said, unfortunately, though. I'll sum up as much as I can.

> A young boy (German) was being looked after by his English maid (an older woman).
> She had her foot inclined as it was injured
> She wore a specific type of shoe
> Later in life, this man developed a fetish for this specific type of foot (slender and older) and the type of shoe
> It appeared to be catalysed by somatic influence during puberty
> This shows how regression (a big part of the 3rd section of the book, on neurosis) is influenced by 2 main factors:
1) Accidental experience (external), being the woman
2) Innate libido in both the pubescent and infantile man (internal)
> It also shows how childhood influences the perversions of adults.
In short, it stemmed from an infantile experience and was caused by a regression. I'll add a few interesting parts below too, since you seem interested.

> When I say "infantile experience", you may try and trace back to your childhood, trying to find your source of fixation/regression
> However, there's a thing called infantile amnesia, seemingly happening in the "latency stage" of libido, around 6-8 years. This makes you push these sources into the unconscious mind
> Additionally, many of these experiences are what Freud calls "primitive phantasy", things which are actually made up but we are convinces happened. There are 3 common primitive phantasies:
- Memory of walking in on someone having sex
- Memory of being seduced
- Memory of a parent threatening to castrate you
> It is likely a imagined experience like the above has caused you to invent your fetish from a psychical truth (over an empirical one).
> Finally, your libido creates fetishes simply to give itself satisfaction when it can't be satisfied for whatever reason normally. In other words, it's like a kid with ADHD who decides using a slide normally is boring, so uses it as a bike ramp.

[Anonymous No.15143679]

>>15143525
The word cure is a tough one. There's during a symptom (I.e. No longer feeling the effects temporarily) and then there's during the disease. To cure the symptoms, you can undergo therapy. A good therapist should be able to identify the fixation or regression cause. This is all explained in Freud's lectures. Once you 100% know what the source of the symptom is, it becomes cured.

However, to actually cure the condition itself is a different story. Also he was joking, I suspect >>15143593 is the closest to the correct answer. However, who cares about a symptomless condition anyway?

Also, having sex won't fix anything. That's like telling a clinically depressed person to interact with people. The depression itself has corrupted how they view socialising and has left it tainted. Similarly, a fetish taints sexuality, reducing it from reproduction to pure pleasure. Note that all people begin as perverted fetishists as infants but they undergo steps to narrow this sexuality down to reproductive means as they grow (unless they experience trauma or something akin).

[Anonymous No.15143682]

>>15143637
i remember when i was around 4 i used to want to fuck the shampoo bottle and stick my dick in it so my penis was erect when i was showering. my mom came in and asked me if i did something "shameful and forbidden" (its hart to translate it in english but the combination of it is basically the word) i was genuinenly ashamed ans also confused how she knew i wanted to fuck a shampoo bottle and then realised and learned the erection gave it away so from there on i learned not to fuck shampoo bottles when my mom is in house and hide my erections


what possibly consequences could this event mean for me?

[Anonymous No.15143683]

>>15143679
Also, apparently my phone's autocorrect doesn't recognise the word "curing", making it into during. Whoops

[Anonymous No.15143700]

>>15143407
>>15143679
very interesting

[Anonymous No.15143723]

>>15143110
shit like this makes me want to go on a murder spree (in minecraft). Technological society truly is evil

[Anonymous No.15143730]

>>15143682
The impact may reflect your own sexuality. Remember, the actual act is unimportant (the weird shampoo sodomy thing) but actually the mother's reaction is the key point. You may experience a castration complex, leading to a few of the following things:
> You may displace your shame onto others. You might have an innate repulsion against sex or even have attempted to ruin others' pleasure as a kid (i.e. telling your parents you want to sleep between them to ruin their nights' fun).
> You might be homosexual. The pleasure from the act will have been repressed (different to regressed) and may now be a fixation. If you are gay, you can possibly blame her.
> You might be more hostile towards her or others due to it. This might include sadism (displacing your shame onto others. Remember what I said about contraries?)
> You might be subconsciously attracted to your mother due to the incident (falsely associating the two events with the single pleasure)
If anyone wants to read the primaries for these theories, read book 1 in pic related. It contains all this and much more, including case studies which can be fun to analyse yourself.

[Anonymous No.15143746]

I don't feel at home in this world anymore.

[Anonymous No.15143750]

>>15143110
these women should be prosecuted

[Anonymous No.15143754]

>>15143288
nice copypasta

[Anonymous No.15143762]

>>15143746
>>15143723
>>15143616
How much longer until America's day of reckoning?

[Anonymous No.15143767]

>>15143730
>> You might be subconsciously attracted to your mother due to the incident
This is it. Used to fap to my mother from age of 14-5. Glad i grew out of it, kek. On a sidenote my mom is very attractive forreal though, especially 10 years ago.

[Anonymous No.15143774]

>>15143762
kino taste in movies, I love Paris, Texas.
Also never, it will be a slow boil for the frog

[Anonymous No.15143787]

>>15143730
What about males wanting to be a girl/sissy?

[Anonymous No.15143796]

>>15143173
based

[Anonymous No.15143805]

>>15143730
Dont you think all these fetishes evolve mostly because of porn, chasing novelty and dopamine addiction? You start of with playboy magazines, softcore, lesbains etc and move up the ladder until you end with trap and cuck porn.

[Anonymous No.15143808]

>>15143767
If you want some fun, analyse some of your dreams some day. You'll probably find that you've consciously gotten over your attraction for your mother but, in dreams (unconscious) you're still obsessed with her. It's quite funny when you separate yourself from the disgust and view your unconscious like some weird Mephistopheles following you about, wanking over your mother, instead of as a part of yourself.

Also, I wonder if your MILF however many years ago knew she was starting a fetish when she scorned a wanking infant. The mind is a funny place.

[Anonymous No.15143830]

>>15143679
>Once you 100% know what the source of the symptom is, it becomes cured.
Not exactly. Freud abandoned this view pretty quickly because it's not accurate. Without going into the details of analytic technique, most of alleviating something like neurotic cuckoldry fetish is in interpreting and working through the patient's transference of those desires onto the person of the analyst.

[Anonymous No.15143833]

>>15143288
>>15143572
Hey fellas, not OP but I'm actually writing a book from the perspective of a man who is initially ambivalent towards sexual humiliation but becomes utterly transfixed with a particular digital dominatrix's persona, and ends falling helplessly in love with her (who, naturally, is nothing like the woman in real life). Any more information about your experiences you could potentially give me? particularly w/r/t how these women are able to have such an influence over you, triggers, that kind of thing. I find this stuff really fascinating (though I don't partake myself), and I think there's a great story in there somewhere.

[Anonymous No.15143838]

>>15143796
>that image
holy fuckin yikes

[Anonymous No.15143840]

>>15143808
Since you know your shit, any explanation on premature ejaculation?

[Anonymous No.15143848]

>>15143838
Interesting point

[Anonymous No.15143870]

>>15143830
For that matter iirc, Freud also thought fetishists were generally resistant to analytic treatment.

[Anonymous No.15143873]

dsm-5

[Anonymous No.15143880]

>>15143787
That's like asking a doctor online why your eyes hurt. The best answer I can give is that you'll have a similar experience as Shampoo-Sodomy Anon somewhere in your infantile unconscious. Perhaps your mother told you off, perhaps you saw something in school, who knows, perhaps (and likely) it was a made-up experience.
Freud never discusses this issue in enough detail to give his opinion. However, I'll give my (unqualified) one:
> You'll have either had a pleasurable experience in dominating or submitting in early life.
> You will have repressed this memory around the ages of 6-8, making it a fixation over a memory
> In your teenage years, your libido decided it wanted satisfaction. This lead it to search fixations, simply because you may not have been having sex around that age
> It found the fixation and associated certain actions with that fixation. It may be something as simple as degrading yourself or wearing a certain article of clothing. I've heard about people becoming aroused by candles, so it seems quite a random selection.
> Finally, this fixation (call it Sissy-point) became an easy point to get satisfaction from. Why would the libido go chasing satisfaction when it has a direct route to it
> Therefore, this sissy-point (external cause) and your libido (internal cause) combined into a sissy fetish.
Also, don't be fooled. It is a fetish, not a lifestyle. It is merely a way of receiving sexual pleasure displaced as social or ambitious satisfaction. Cure it; don't follow it down a rabbit hole.

[Anonymous No.15143883]

>>15143796
Cringe

[Anonymous No.15143896]

>>15143840
Honestly, I believe that is somatic (hormonal/chemical) and habitual (from masturbation). I don't believe the mind is unconsciously willing your to ejaculate when you do. However, I could be wrong, I've never studied it.

[Anonymous No.15143906]

>>15143288
I do not really believe you, bud you do pull off a convincing degenerate, so congratulations.

[Anonymous No.15143914]

>>15143830
Thank you for that, I never knew that he completely disavowed it. I assumed that, after he left Breuer's treatment, he found something which he believed actually worked. In fact, the books I've read detail exact patients which he claims to have cured. Maybe it was just one of those late-age hates of ones own work that you see in Tolstoy and Virgil and he never actually found that it didn't work but, instead decided he wasn't completely happy and decided that this must mean he should discard it completely. Either way, it's a shame to see a man discard his life's work.

[Anonymous No.15143926]

>>15143896
I read that if you got caught masturbating or had to hurry before your parents come home in your teenage years can cause it. thats one explanation. but the main one is hormonal yes, lack of serotonin can cause it thats why quick working ssri meds are also used for medication for it

[Anonymous No.15143928]

>>15143896
Not that poster but I occasionally suffer from premature ejaculation, and I've actually been able to make myself cum without even touching my dick, was watching porn at the time tho. Do I have a ghost vagina?

[Anonymous No.15143941]

>>15143173
Extremely based
>>15143796
Extremely cringe

[Anonymous No.15143959]

>>15143941
>Basedjack
Always triggers me. It´s Sojak ffs.

[Anonymous No.15143968]

>>15143914
>Thank you for that, I never knew that he completely disavowed it.
He disavowed the idea that telling the patient what is wrong with them unconsciously, and the patient thus having conscious awareness and knowledge of the problem, will help them. He came to see that this just wasn't true: that he could be right, and the patient could know and agree, but their problem would still be there. This led him to revise his theories and techniques in the late 1900s, and especially in the late 1910s. In his papers on technique from this time, he basically started to realize that the relationship of the patient to the analyst, called transference, and its interpretation and working-through, is what causes change -- not conscious knowledge of the problem.This was all a revision and adjustment of analytic theory and technique, not a disavowal of it. Freud discusses some of this in his essay "An Autobiographical Study" and you can find an account of it in most introductions to his work as well.

[Anonymous No.15143971]

>>15143883
>>15143941
Can you explain the cringe?

[Anonymous No.15143979]

>>15143926
I have no opinion on it really. The desire to ejaculate early may be caused by those things but I don't believe experiences post-childhood typically influence sexual life. Instead, they lead to mental health (non-sexual appearing, like anxiety).
>>15143928
Actually, it's common to be able to orgasm without genital stimulus. Some men can orgasm over ball busting and being pissed on. Some women orgasm while giving oral. You're in a common situation.

[Anonymous No.15143991]

>>15143968
Thank you for the information. Who'd think that I'd actually see something useful on this board beside seeing DFW's face plastered like an election race everywhere.

[Anonymous No.15144001]

>>15143805
This. yourbrainonporn.com explains this in detail

[Anonymous No.15144005]

>>15143968
To be fair to Freud, he started to realize the earlier approach wasn't working much earlier than his written adjustments on analytic technique. The most egregious example of him telling a patient what was wrong with them and expecting that to solve the problem ((the "Anna O" case study) comes from before psychoanalysis proper even started, in the 1895 Studies on Hysteria.

[Anonymous No.15144034]

>>15143805
Whats your take on this FreudAnon?

[Anonymous No.15144038]

>>15143805
In short, no. Sexuality isn't purely based on porn. Porn is based on sexuality. That's like saying guns cause suicide because many suicides require a gun, or that guns cause war because war uses guns. Also, porn is a free-ish market and the fucked up nature simply reflects the demand.

[Anonymous No.15144051]

>>15143805
>until you end with trap and cuck porn.
that is so far from the 'end' of that road

[Anonymous No.15144058]

>>15144034
>>15144038
This is my take. I didn't see the message, sorry. Also, I feel the 2nd Freud Anon who pointed out Freud's later views may know something more.

[Anonymous No.15144074]

>>15144038
What if i get off on certain fetish porn but would never get off in real life from it and live a normal sex life?

[Anonymous No.15144087]

>>15144058
I'll just add as well that he may not be completely wrong in associating the two. I strongly believe that step-sibling fetishes are really just larger fetishes (incestual, perhaps even darker and younger if you catch my meaning) which link loosely to all this step-sibling stuff which is so popular. The same applies to the popularity of blacked porn, which I believe is really just a displacement of other fetishes relating to submission or fouling things (like scat or gore). In other words, porn doesn't create fetishes but allows one fetish to grip onto others which are similar.

[Anonymous No.15144104]

>>15144074
Desire for satisfaction and will are different things. I don't think many people actually desire to do the things they watch in porn. Nonetheless, whatever you watch relates to something you unconsciously desire to do. I also imagine castration complex is involved in your fetish, whatever it is, by how you discuss it.

[Anonymous No.15144107]

>>15143805
>>15144058
>Dont you think all these fetishes evolve mostly because of porn, chasing novelty and dopamine addiction?
Fetishism can and often does evolve independently of exposure to pornography. Fetishism also is not the inevitable result of prolonged exposure to pornography. But the feedback loop you describe between exposure to pornography and an obsessive compulsive collection of increasingly extreme fetishes is, I think, a very real thing that is leading more people, and more easily, into fetishistic sexual fantasies and to difficulties pursuing genital sexual relationships. Prolonged exposure to pornography at a young age, say early puberty, is especially a problem and leads to this ratcheting up process you describe that would perhaps not happen as easily for an adult. However, how one engages with and is affected by pornography does not happen in a vacuum and depends on many other developmental and environmental factors.
>>15144074
I would lean towards saying you can only live your "normal sex life" *because* you're getting off to fetish porn.

[Anonymous No.15144123]

The existence of findom--which is to say, the unprecedented, naked and unmetaphorized fetishization of debt--is a way better indicator than trans acceptance or whatever of the neoliberal order's impending collapse. "What rough beast, its hour come round at last, / Slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?"

[Anonymous No.15144129]

>>15144087
Can certain life circumstances fix fetishes? When i used to take care of myself and live like a normie i didnt get off to humilitation, when i relapsed into drugs and let myself go again including appearence i was back to watching said porn

[Anonymous No.15144137]

>>15144107
This isn't from Freud Anon 1 but the 2nd point is actually brilliant. Anon probably lives a bit of a Jekyll & Hyde life through porn. I remember having a friend who was a massive beta but watched BDSM maledom.

[Anonymous No.15144141]

>>15143110
that made me queasy.

one quarter of that amount and i would fucking drive off a bridge.

[Anonymous No.15144150]

>>15143805
>you end with trap and cuck porn.

[Anonymous No.15144161]

>>15144129
Freud Anon 1 here. I think trying to just block out the fetish would just lead to neurotic symptoms and possibly to the fetish developing further. If it's really bad, see therapy. If it's not, just be at peace with your fetish. Think of it like feeling guilty for having a shit. Sure, it's dirty and disagreeable but it's natural and it's easier to just accept it. As long as you flush it and don't take a shit on the sidewalk, you're doing no harm.

[Anonymous No.15144167]

>>15144038
t. don't know shit bout my Kulturindustrie

[Anonymous No.15144191]

>>15143979
>Some men can orgasm from being pissed on
that's nuts. The human body/mind never ceases to amaze me

[Anonymous No.15144200]

Explanation why i wanna top a passable ladyboy? (important: top, not bottom)

[Anonymous No.15144209]

>>15143288
How the fuck can you call yourself frugal if you're spending money to get off? I've been a coomer for 20 years and never spent a cent on it

[Anonymous No.15144213]

>>15144167
Adorno and Horkheimer are objectively wrong in my opinion. Culture is self-determined and the whole porn = Zionist plot to ruin society is idiotic. Sure, porn is degenerate, but I don't honestly believe we are naturally 'above' it. Either sink to libido or transcend it.

[Anonymous No.15144232]

>>15144200
Desire to have a partner displaced onto yourself perhaps. Or a regression to some memory. Do you recall discovering that women don't have penises or is this subsumed in your amnesia? I reckon that might be a good place to start looking.

[Anonymous No.15144256]

Aren't most men programmed to be simps to some extent? Like I know plenty of men who let their wives have nicer cars, live by happy wife/happy life, etc. Like it's just an expression of love/lust to give gifts. Findom is just pathetic because it is so one sided and should be used to secure a mate that will provide progeny.

[Anonymous No.15144262]

Freud Anon 1 here,

I'm logging off now (UK, it's 1AM). If you're still curious, go read some books by Freud yourself. He gets a bad name on lit but he honestly speaks logically. In addition, it's interesting to read in the same way you read Greek philosophers discussing theology despite disagreeing with them.

Sleep tight, you sick shampoo-sodomites!

[Anonymous No.15144270]

>>15144232
Okay so one time when i was too drunk i got a limp dick with a prostitute, she started slapping that around in a humilitating fashion and i got rock hard. Whats my issue here

[Anonymous No.15144292]

>>15144200
>>15144232
FreudAnon2 here. The fetish can be nearly anything (this is Freud's idea in the Three Essays). Determining why this fetish for this person, or this general kind of person, is often possible and possibly helpful, but it does not change the overwhelming uniformity in the end result, process, and aim of fetishism. Indeed, it can be little more than a distraction if not done properly: it displaces the attention onto the fetishized object and fantasy and thereby talking about it just becomes another source of pleasure for the pervert. This is a major obstacle, I would imagine, to overcome in therapy.

[Anonymous No.15144312]

>>15144292
Is BDSM even a fetish? It seems to be of a different nature and more common than candlesticks. I think it's just an extension of normal sexuality for the most part.

[Anonymous No.15144315]

>>15144292
>Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant ofmasochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.[16][17]In Freudian analysis, cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity and of failure in the man's competition for procreation and the affection of females.[citation needed]In his bookMasochism and the Self,psychologistRoy Baumeisteradvanced aSelf Theoryanalysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of "guilt, anxiety, or insecurity", or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant.[18]

is wikipedia lying to me or why didnt they say nothing about infantile events?

[Anonymous No.15144362]

>>15144312
Sadomasochism can become a perversion of normal, genital sexuality; but it is also, usually unconsciously, present in all normal, genital sexuality. Sadomaoschism may involve specific fetishized objects (say, chains) but does not rely on them. Aggressive tendencies, and their eroticization, are omnipresent in life and form much of the basis of Freud's second theory of the mind, and the death drive.
>>15144315
>]In Freudian analysis, cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity and of failure in the man's competition for procreation and the affection of females.[citation needed
Citation is absolutely needed. Fetishism, and the fetish object choice, in Freudian analysis is largely based in infantile events -- namely, the discovery of the genital difference between the sexes and the castration anxiety of the Oedipus complex. That passage doesn't sound totally wrong but is missing the important stuff.

[Anonymous No.15144427]

So what went wrong that i like female domination?

[Anonymous No.15144461]

>>15144427
If it is having destructive effects on your ability to start and maintain healthy relationships with others and yourself, go to a therapist and find out.

[Anonymous No.15144491]

Porn addiction is a far bigger issue imo, not infantile events. I would not even be aware of the concept of cuck porn if it wasnt for porn. I didnt get off masturbating to the thought of it in my teen years. I masturbated to normal softcore porn until that wasnt enough and i fell into a blackhole over the years. After i quit fapping and porn for 4 months, i was able to fap to imagination of a girl again and the thought of cuck porn didnt arouse me anymore because i was addicted to the novelty and kept looking for different kind of shit until i basically passed through all of them and then decided its enough. I doubt i had so many events happen in my youth to have 10 different fetishes.

[Anonymous No.15144551]

>>15144491
>I masturbated to normal softcore porn until that wasnt enough and i fell into a blackhole over the years.
This is a strong, latent possibility in internet pornography, particularly when exposed to it at a young age, and this is very important, but it is not inevitable. That this happened says more about your development (which need not be chaotic and traumatic by any means) and environment (which includes the internet and pornography) than it does about internet porn in and of itself.

[Anonymous No.15144566]

>>15143525
God.

[Anonymous No.15144578]

Since we have some big brain anons itt: offtopic but ill try: explanation for general anxiety, ocd/perfectionism?

[Anonymous No.15144590]

>>15144551
thank you anon. What are your thoughts on nofap?

[Anonymous No.15144635]

>>15144578
OCD/perfectionism in general is a defense gradually developed throughout life (particularly by those with an "anal retentive character") against the anxiety provoked by disturbing unconscious sexual and aggressive urges and their real/imagined effects. It can easily become pathological, though it serves a function, and an interest in order and predictability is present in most healthy people.
>>15144590
Often, it is little more than a continuation of perverse sexual fantasies in barely disguised form. Maybe it's a better form, but it doesn't solve the underlying problem. People with destructive porn habits don't need to stop jerking off forever, they need to seek psychological help.

[Anonymous No.15144708]

>>15144635
>>15144635
>provoked by disturbing unconscious sexual and aggressive urges
w-what does this mean anon? can you elaborate in brainlet terms what this means for me? i went to see a psychiatrist and he wanted to put me on escitalopram, another one recommendes cbt but i dont want to talk with a stranger anymore. can i do cbt myself?

[Anonymous No.15144783]

>>15144708
All people have sexual and aggressive urges all their life, and towards everything around them. Usually we aren't aware of it, but it drives most of what we do. Part of why we aren't aware of the urges is because it would be very disturbing to be constantly aware of them, so we shove them to the back of our mind. Learning how to control those urges is crucial for a healthy, rewarding life. That doesn't mean destroying them or avoiding them, which is probably impossible to do. OCD/perfectionism is certainly one way of controlling disturbing urges, but it is a way that likely causes problems in life. What someone with OCD would need is to find a way to more naturally and healthily manage what's going on in their mind and body.
This is all psychoanalysis, not CBT. Neither of which you can really do on your own, but both of them try to teach you to take control of the parts of yourself you can't control.

[Anonymous No.15144842]

>>15143110
Venus in Furs. Amazed no one has mentioned it yet.

[Anonymous No.15144846]

>>15144783
>or avoiding them, which is probably impossible to do.
Celibacy or semen retention are one of the few things in common between the yogi, mystic, philosopher, theologian, saint, and occultist. It's called petit morte in French for a reason. All losses of semen are losses of life force and excess ejaculations will lead to no motivation, mental fog, passivity, mental illness, low dopamine sensitivity, depression, femininity, and general consoomer faggotry. Yes retention is hard, especially if you're a porn addict, which is an altogether separate problem, but if you really need some /lit/ motivation read Kant, what is left of Pythagoras, Newton, Tesla's journals, The Coiled Serpent, Metaphysics of Sex, Taoist Secrets of Love, the Agony of Eros, literally any occultist or theologian or mystic or yogi. Michaelangelo, Divinci, Kierkegaard, Dante, Cervantes, all celibate.

[Anonymous No.15144867]

I used to pretend to be a woman to make fast money in a time of my life when I was about to literally starve about several investments gone wrong.
I findommed guys from 4chan too.
These people are all mentally ill, no exception. To get money from them you have to get into their head, and you realize their life is always in the midst of a downward spiral.
Nothing convinced me to do nofap more than seeing these guys

[Anonymous No.15144868]

>>15144846
>>15144635
>Little more than a continuation of perverse sexual fantasies in barely disguised form.

[Anonymous No.15144889]

>>15144868
>doesnt solve the underlying problem
Says who? Proove it.

[Anonymous No.15144951]

>>15144889
A pervert jewish man who wanted to fuck his own mother
Eternal reminder that masturbation doesn't exist in hunter gatherers
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/12/where-masturbation-and-homosexuality-do-not-exist/265849/

Words have a big power. When people talk about "repressing a desire", they create this image of something being pushed under the water only to reemerge with more strength once someone stops pushing.
But what actually happens when one repress a desire, or a thought?
They quickly and unconsciously replace the thought with another one.
It's a "running away", not a repressing. This is why the thought becomes stronger in the end: you are admitting to yourself it's something to be afraid of.
There's a reason techniques exposed in buddhism, for example, to stop one's desire don't invoke repressing/running away but facing the thought directly and see it dissolve.

Take advice from people who managed to fix their problems, like Sakyamuni, not people like Freud who kept their complexes till the day the died because their assumptions were not fully correct in the first place.

[Anonymous No.15144998]

>>15143288
why not have a debt contract with a guy to make it even worse? that way you can't even hide behind it being some sexual fetish, you are just a total retard and need to pay this shit off asap because of how fucking absurd the whole situation is.

[Anonymous No.15145035]

>>15144889
Prove to me that you're A: a yogi, mystic, philosopher, theologian, saint, and occultist who contributes to society and lives a rewarding life and B: you are so *because* you never ejaculate. Then we'll talk.
>>15144951
>Eternal reminder that masturbation doesn't exist in hunter gatherers
So?
>Words have a big power. When people talk about "repressing a desire",
They sure do, that's why I never wrote "repressing a desire" as something you should or should not do.
If you want to bank on mysticism warped by posters on a cambodian basket weaving forum, and they tell you that holding your cum inside your body will make you like these smart daddy figures, be my guest.

[Anonymous No.15145052]

>>15144951
So i should read into buddhism instead of psychoanalysis and cbt to fix up my shit?

[Anonymous No.15145094]

>>15145052
Buddhism is very similar to CBT, but it's superior to it in it's essence. The problem with Buddhism is that it's difficutl to understand, there are too many schools of it, etc. A good book for westerners is Doctrine of Awakening, but even that is very, very complicated and requires months to understand fully.

Psychanalisis can have its merits, but it's very inferior to any traditional method and to CBT. Sometimes is even worse than wordly wisdom.

Practice CBT by yourself, nofap, healthy habits and meditation. Learn to let things go.
Read the book I told you if you want, but be warned it's not an easy read

[Anonymous No.15145106]

>>15145035
Too long to talk about now. I need to sleep. Just know everything you said is unironical projection, and I don't say this to win an internet argument, but to give you an advice