GOODBYE FOREVER

[Anonymous No.14989302]

This is my last post. Yes. I'm completely serious. You see, I'm not who you all think I am. Not at all. Currently, I'm a writer for Washington Post, living in a small studio apartment, always looking for the next big story, barely scraping by sometimes. I was asked several months ago by my editor to do a piece on the so-called 'shitpost' community on 4chan that seems to become more and more popular by the day. Initially, I was intrigued. The humor was bizarre, yet interesting. Nonsensical, yet genius. I spent several months interacting with people who were completely unknown to me, learning the culture, what was "cool" and what wasn't. Eventually, I began to make my own posts, testing the waters now and then. And eventually my own posts started getting noticed, and maybe for a minute or two I understood why you all do this. But that didn't last long. And with time, I began to notice how stale the content truly was. How the same 'memes' could be spammed over and over again, and still get massive amounts of attention. And I also began to notice something else. The viciousness with which you attacked each other. The semi-constant bullying and harassment. Each day, it made me even more sickened than before, to the point where you people made me start questioning everything about reality and what I knew about it. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was drinking 2 bottles of milk every night. But, finally, my mission is complete. Tomorrow, we will be publishing a comprehensive guide on this board, potentially exposing some of your members' most well kept secrets. I'm never coming back to this shit hole site, but before I leave, I just want to let you know you all make me sick.

[Anonymous No.14989317]

[Anonymous No.14989325]

tl;dr

[Anonymous No.14989347]

>got banned (completely wrongfully) for 30 days
>think to myself that ive had it with this retarded waste of time site with its moronic userbase and pointless streams of endless shitposting as well as a moderator base that persecutes the baltic people
>end up coming back 5 days later and now phonepost like an animal
This place is cursed. Its been over a decade now...i cant leave

[Anonymous No.14989350]

>>14989302
make sure you mention how much I hate myself.

[Anonymous No.14989362]

>>14989302
>I was drinking 2 bottles of milk every night.
The horror

[Anonymous No.14989366]

>>14989302
Cringe. You'll probably actually quit and are a glaringly obvious redditor.

Compare this to the new year resolution quitter who made like 15 threads and didn't bother with an explanation.

[Anonymous No.14989379]

>>14989302
didn't read, goodbye

[Anonymous No.14989386]

>>14989302
always remember that you're here forever.
see you tomorrow, faggot.

[Anonymous No.14989402]

>>14989302
Put me in the screencap bro

[Anonymous No.14989503]

>>14989302
To /lit/ specifically? Do you talk about Liveblog?

[Anonymous No.14989515]

>>14989302
Great thread, thanks Washington Post, hope your boipuccis stay safe from defactoried amazon robots

[Anonymous No.14989518]

)

[Anonymous No.14989524]

Expose the pseuds, OP.

[Anonymous No.14989529]

>>14989302
fag

[Anonymous No.14989545]

>>14989302
Meghead here, think I speak for everyone when I ask you to gift wrap yourself.

[Anonymous No.14989548]

It's a well-known pasta. It's already been posted on numerous boards, including /tv/, /sci/ and /pol/. If you fall for this you're an idiot.

[Anonymous No.14990036]

>>14989548
I google search I did not find anything .

[Anonymous No.14990396]

>>14989548
>bad rp
play along idiot

[Anonymous No.14991138]

>This is my last post. Yes. I'm completely serious. You see, I'm not who you all think I am. Not at all. Currently, I'm a writer for Washington Post, living in a small studio apartment, always looking for the next big story, barely scraping by sometimes. I was asked several months ago by my editor to do a piece on the so-called 'shitpost' community on 4chan that seems to become more and more popular by the day. Initially, I was intrigued. The humor was bizarre, yet interesting. Nonsensical, yet genius. I spent several months interacting with people who were completely unknown to me, learning the culture, what was "cool" and what wasn't. Eventually, I began to make my own posts, testing the waters now and then. And eventually my own posts started getting noticed, and maybe for a minute or two I understood why you all do this. But that didn't last long. And with time, I began to notice how stale the content truly was. How the same 'memes' could be spammed over and over again, and still get massive amounts of attention. And I also began to notice something else. The viciousness with which you attacked each other. The semi-constant bullying and harassment. Each day, it made me even more sickened than before, to the point where you people made me start questioning everything about reality and what I knew about it. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was drinking 2 bottles of milk every night. But, finally, my mission is complete. Tomorrow, we will be publishing a comprehensive guide on this board, potentially exposing some of your members' most well kept secrets. I'm never coming back to this shit hole site, but before I leave, I just want to let you know you all make me sick.

[Anonymous No.14991242]

>>14991138
You know what I am tired of all these S.O
Yjak poster. You guys ruined any form of discussion on 4channel . jannies need to purge you guys like the insect you are. But at last I fall for your trap . All you you want is ( yous) . I am leaving for real

[Anonymous No.14991318]

>>14989302
>the absolute state of journalism
YOU just don't know how to use this place

[Anonymous No.14991349]

Ok boomer.
crackled cold
Cracked a cold
At nine o’clock
Tossed my cap
On the couch
Crunching chimney
Catacombs
Feast of bones.

“Conquistadors” I heard someone call, I turned around to look and I felt a warm caress running down my cheek, it was a metal bat right on my head, blood down my face. I saw myself falling and I kept telling my body, “get up! Get up!” It was there I heard the accordion and carnival faces walking to and fro. Naked women dancing with their arms swaying back and forward, their breast bouncing as they jumped. The accordion kept on playing a fast paced French song, while some one sang “Polka, polka”. A group of young men came by with their shirts in their heads, carrying Christ on top of them, singing in unison“ we are going to eat his body/ we are going to drink his blood” one of them looked at me, “hey, you see that hill? Moot is waiting for you there”. As I walked the hill became a head with arms and feet, it stretched its mouth open. “going to be gaped” a women said in between giggles. To my right I saw a giant man standing with a suit, and behind him more giants walking by. I began to focus on the giants when a roar disrupted me, “Christ has the spear! Christ has the spear! He has escaped!” I looked around and the carnival had turned into a debauchery for demons.
“You thought I wouldn’t, you thought I would, either way I’m not your guy”

[Anonymous No.14991602]

>>14989302
eat shit, op

[Anonymous No.14992329]

>>14989302
Eat his >>14991602 shit OP

[Anonymous No.14992357]

Could be real, could be fake, but it feels so pasta it should be in italian

[Anonymous No.14992376]

>>14989302
This is an anonymous basket-weaving forum.

[Anonymous No.14992890]

>>14989548
Nice try, WashPo stooges. Your perfidy will see the light of day soon. I'm looking forward to Prime Video feeds of each Washington Post journalist relinquished to an autonomous factory to be distributed and packaged by the pitiless machines.

[Anonymous No.14993124]

>>14989302
>And I also began to notice something else. The viciousness with which you attacked each other. The semi-constant bullying and harassment.

How did it take you that long? It's noticeable from the outset you retard.

[Anonymous No.14993131]

>>14989515
OP here. I can't resist

[Anonymous No.14993410]

>>14989302
Your "article" that will be read by 15 people. My shitposts have more value and in contrast to you Im a real writer.

[Anonymous No.14993415]

>>14989302
See you next week

[Anonymous No.14993684]

>>14989302
Hi there fren

[Anonymous No.14993797]

>>14989302
imagine losing sleep over this website lmao what a fucking pussy

[Anonymous No.14993833]

>>14989302
This is the gay

[Anonymous No.14994080]

>>14989302
send your article, filtered one

[Anonymous No.14994091]

COOF

[Anonymous No.14994440]

>>14989302
You're making me hard.

[Anonymous No.14994452]

>>14993682
It was great, and is especially relevant now.

[Anonymous No.14994453]

>>14989302
don't forget to mention me in the article

[Anonymous No.14994524]

>>14989302
>I was drinking 2 bottles of milk every night
BAHAHAHA what a fucking pussy faggot.

>doesnt realise theres dozens if not hundreds of the exact same thing all over the internet

[Anonymous No.14994551]

>>14989302
Put me in the screencap

[Anonymous No.14994569]

>>14989302
>You see, I'm not who you all think I am. Not at al

[Anonymous No.14995085]

>>14989302
K see you next week

[Anonymous No.14995970]

>tfw there are actually two people in this house who have been feeling pressure on their chests the past days
send help

[Anonymous No.14995974]

>This is my last post. Yes. I'm completely serious. You see, I'm not who you all think I am. Not at all. Currently, I'm a writer for Washington Post, living in a small studio apartment, always looking for the next big story, barely scraping by sometimes. I was asked several months ago by my editor to do a piece on the so-called 'shitpost' community on 4chan that seems to become more and more popular by the day. Initially, I was intrigued. The humor was bizarre, yet interesting. Nonsensical, yet genius. I spent several months interacting with people who were completely unknown to me, learning the culture, what was "cool" and what wasn't. Eventually, I began to make my own posts, testing the waters now and then. And eventually my own posts started getting noticed, and maybe for a minute or two I understood why you all do this. But that didn't last long. And with time, I began to notice how stale the content truly was. How the same 'memes' could be spammed over and over again, and still get massive amounts of attention. And I also began to notice something else. The viciousness with which you attacked each other. The semi-constant bullying and harassment. Each day, it made me even more sickened than before, to the point where you people made me start questioning everything about reality and what I knew about it. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was drinking 2 bottles of milk every night. But, finally, my mission is complete. Tomorrow, we will be publishing a comprehensive guide on this board, potentially exposing some of your members' most well kept secrets. I'm never coming back to this shit hole site, but before I leave, I just want to let you know you all make me sick.

[Anonymous No.14995978]

i woke up with a sore throat

[Anonymous No.14995980]

>>14995363
You won't be seeing anyone tomorrow other than a doctor

[Anonymous No.14996124]

>>14996036
It's called being russian and all the depression that that entails; ever seen images of rural russia and thought "wow, that sure isn't depressing at all"? Now imagine this but worse in 19th century russia.

>>14996118
>is there a country that produced some kind of large corpus of highly optimistic literature?
The United States. Our literature is considerably more bloomer-tier than literally any other european one I know of. Maybe spanish or latin american literature has a ton of bloomer stuff too, idk.

[Anonymous No.14997086]

>>14989302

[Anonymous No.14997274]

>This is my last post. Yes. I'm completely serious. You see, I'm not who you all think I am. Not at all. Currently, I'm a writer for Washington Post, living in a small studio apartment, always looking for the next big story, barely scraping by sometimes. I was asked several months ago by my editor to do a piece on the so-called 'shitpost' community on 4chan that seems to become more and more popular by the day. Initially, I was intrigued. The humor was bizarre, yet interesting. Nonsensical, yet genius. I spent several months interacting with people who were completely unknown to me, learning the culture, what was "cool" and what wasn't. Eventually, I began to make my own posts, testing the waters now and then. And eventually my own posts started getting noticed, and maybe for a minute or two I understood why you all do this. But that didn't last long. And with time, I began to notice how stale the content truly was. How the same 'memes' could be spammed over and over again, and still get massive amounts of attention. And I also began to notice something else. The viciousness with which you attacked each other. The semi-constant bullying and harassment. Each day, it made me even more sickened than before, to the point where you people made me start questioning everything about reality and what I knew about it. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was drinking 2 bottles of milk every night. But, finally, my mission is complete. Tomorrow, we will be publishing a comprehensive guide on this board, potentially exposing some of your members' most well kept secrets. I'm never coming back to this shit hole site, but before I leave, I just want to let you know you all make me sick.

[Anonymous No.14997349]

>>14997318
Then leave. Pretty simple solution.

[Anonymous No.14997361]

>>14989302
If you don't add the piss bottle story I'll be sad, bud

[Anonymous No.14997372]

>>14989302
see you tomorrow hahaha ;)

[Anonymous No.14997491]

>You know what I am tired of all these S.O
>Yjak poster. You guys ruined any form of discussion on 4channel . jannies need to purge you guys like the insect you are. But at last I fall for your trap . All you you want is ( yous) . I am leaving for real

[Anonymous No.14997844]

>>14989302
Looks like you should've stayed on your containment board >>>/r9k/ faggot

>>14991349
Like Cortez, one must burn one's tendies on the shore behind you