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/lit/ - Literature

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1493908 No.1493908 [Reply] [Original]

hey /lit/, just wrote this. Should I write more?

he did not much care for what had just happened. You could see it on his face. He was an empty soul; A shallow ghoul. But on the surface he was the most care free, fun loving you could be.
It was almost if he enjoyed the whole ordeal; one that he could go through again and end with that smile on his face. The same smile he carried when his father died. The same content feeling so deep
it wouldn't matter if the earth were caving in, but this time I thought he would at least grimace at the sight of John Cuilang standing there at the top after stealing everything he had worked for.

>> No.1493914
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1493914

Best thing I've read since Peter Chimera. Roxx0r.

>> No.1493916

We heard it on the news. One man established full synchronization between a human and his computer.

Everything internalized running side by side. But this was their project; they had worked for years.

"Aren't you gonna do something about this?" I asked. "You've been flushing the damn toilet from the living room for the past three weeks now. Shouldn't you get anything for this?"

"Now honey, where would be the fun in that?"

I couldn't tell if he was joking or just crazy; he finally got his invention or integration or whatever you want to call it working just to have it stolen right under his nose, and there he was sitting on his ass in the living room just smiling.

"Fuck you," I replied.

"Hey," he said with a point of his finger, "You know I love you baby."

Ahh, I knew he would think of some other project and just keep going again like, well... I guess nothing happened anyway.

>> No.1493918

Wanted to stuck a fork in my eye after eight words.

>> No.1493919

>>1493916
A half-baked copy of something you'd find in a Coupland novel.

>> No.1493928

>You could see it on his face. He was an empty soul
>But on the surface he was the most care free, fun loving you could be.

How is this not a contradiction? Or is his face somehow not on his surface?

>> No.1493932

so she be all like shanique yo gone burn yo hair aff n shit if yo keep on doin whatchu doin like dat an i say whatever bitch i like bitch step off why you mad why you jus gettin up on me like dat an i throw up mah arms an say fuck it an jus go back to wat i was doin an dats when mah lil nay nay be all momma why it smell like burnin plastic like dat an i say hush nay nay baby girl it allight baby girl mama be right back an she start cryin but i already way out way up high wit da rock like all dat and even lil nay nay cryin sound jus like angels in heaven n shit.

>> No.1493937

>>1493928
Maybe this is criticism on the Craigs of this world; shallow and happy, these iPod wearing, brand t-shirt sporting goons are constantly perceived as "fun" and "loving" but in reality they are exactly what the author challenges them to be: empty souls.

>> No.1493939

I wondered if he was just building up this whole time until one day he would crack and destroy all of his work, but I still placed my faith within him. He needed to manage his work, but after all those institutions, he became managed externally. There was nothing that he couldn't do; nothing that could stand in his way, but he just lets people do as they do.

>> No.1493951

>>1493937
You did not answer my question. The fact remains that his "face" somehow conveys something that his "surface" does not. Where the hell is his face, inside his stomach?

>> No.1493955

>>1493928
yeah i kind of messed up or something.

>> No.1493958

>>1493951
I meant on the surface like the way he acts, but if you look at him, there is nothing inside.

>> No.1493968
File: 95 KB, 472x369, forever alone face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1493968

>>1493958

So he acts like he's having fun, but if you at his face...

>> No.1494000

well, come on, what is going to happen to John Cuilang???

>> No.1494001

This story is going to be narrated by the wife?

I'd go for the 3rd person, makes life easier.

>> No.1494036

>>1494000
sorry i stopped; i'm going to bed. he dies, though