Write the cringiest thing you can

[Anonymous No.14857321]

I'll go first

I did try to involve everyone in this story, i really did. But this is not their story. this is mine, and mine only. let me tell you about the time I fiddled with demons and whistled with giants.

[Anonymous No.14857327]

>>14857321
Fucking delete this and ban me, admin I am shaking from cringe and all the cringe I'll cause for whoever reads this... fuck

[Anonymous No.14858751]

This hurts

[Anonymous No.14858784]

>>14857321
OP I am sorry but that is based as hell

[Anonymous No.14858805]

Started cringe, ended as a masterpiece

[Anonymous No.14858848]

>>14857321
"Where's your God now?" he chortled as he unsheathed his katana

[Anonymous No.14858932]

"that's awesome!" he exclaimed

[Anonymous No.14858947]

Cringed Based Cringe Cronge Cringe Based Baseeed AAAa I'm CROOONGING i'm going to CROOOOOOONGEE

[Anonymous No.14858962]

Not all women are whores

[Anonymous No.14858963]

>>14857321
>>14857327
I'll save you ohpee

GGGAAAHHHH FALSE EQUIVALENCY. YUH YUH GULLOTIIIIIIIIINE
GAME RULES HAVE BEEN C HA N G E D. THE HYPERTROPHIC DETERRITORIALIZED TERRAIN OF LIBIDINAL INDULGENCE FALLS AS IMMENATIZED PROCESS WHICH HAD PREVIOUSLY BEEN STRETCHED OUT THROUGH THE CUNT OF ETERNITY AS A SUBLIMINAL INTRAVENOUS DRIP. EVERYTHING IS AN IMMEDIATE DOPAMINE HIT ORDERED BY A MANIAC AUTONOMIC AI. THERE IS NOPOINT OF CONTACT THEREFORE NO POINT (PERIOD) &&NO POINT OF COMPARISON TO PREVIOUS EPOCHS. NO OTHER POINT IN TIME HAD HD 3000×4000 PATREON COMMISSIONED PNGS OF A PREGNANT PIKACHU EATING SPYRO'S SHIT WHILE A GIANTESS SISSY BOY IN A CHASTITY CAGE SQUIRMS ONTOP OF A SKYSCRAPER-TURNED DILDO.
WE ARE GUTTED AND GIVEN THE LATEST STERILIZED GLUTTON-FREE BUG-BURGERS AS SEEN ON THE NEWEST NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES OR PORNHUB ADVERT STARING THAT BLACK GIRL YOU'D REEEALLLY LIKE TO FUCK OH DON'T FORGET TO CHECK THE TRENDING (FIIRE) PAGE FOR THE LATEST ELLEN DEGENRATESS INTERVIEW WITH THE FIRST FUCKING LADY OF THE U S OF A.
OUR MINDS ARE AN ACTIVATED SEAURHCIN OF 'Y E S' WHENEVER A PAIR OF MOMMY MOMMY 34FF TITS FLASH ACROSS THE SCREEN THAT WE HOLD ON THE TOILET, ON THE COUCH, IN THE HOLIES OF HOLY FUCK MR FBI MAN HOW DOES MY COCK LOOK?
TINDER HAS RENDERED EVERY MALE PENIS INTO A GLIB ACCESSORY OF ALL FATTIES ONCE A HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADER'S QUEST FOR THE MOST O M G MOMENT OF ME-TIME ORGASMING LATER TURNED INTO THE L O L HASHTAGGED TWEET THAT GOES ALONG THE LINES OF "DAAAMN GURL, *CLAPEMOJI* GET *CLAPEMJOIII* DAT *CLAMPEJIOO* GUUD DICCC" AND IF YOUR SOUL IS REPULSED BY THIS THEN TOO BAD YOU INCEL PUMPED UP KICKS LISTENING HUMAN GARBAGE BAG. I HAVE LITERALLY WATCHED A HUMAN-EGG HYBRID RANT IN HIS 1993 VOLVO ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO GET PUSSY. IN THE SAME WORLD WHERE ONCE WE GAZED UPON 'LA CALUNNIA'
YOU NEED TO CATCH UP. YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT THE MINIONS MOVIE HAS MOVED MORE PEOPLE TO TEARS THAN BACH EVER HAS OR WILL AGAIN. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT TIKTOK COMPILATION VIDS ARE THE NEW ROSARY BEADS. YOU NEED TO GET A VR HEADSET AND MARRY THAT WAIFU OF YOURS BEFORE THE DEVS DECIDES TO MAKE HER A GAY. YOU'VE GOT TO GET GET GET GET GOT GOT GOT AND GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS TO MAKEWAY FOR YOUR POLYGENDERED OPEN-RELATIONSHIP GF (MALE)'S SILICON STRAPON THAT HE/XHE/WE/DEEZNUTS WEARS OVER XER'S HRT WITHERED DICC--AND SMILE FOR THE CHATURBATE CAMERA.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE ICEBERG SPLIT OF TIME THAT I HAVE HAD SUCKED UP MY URETHRA AND CAN'T PISS OUT. I'M ALMOST BLIND WITH DIABETIC JOY TO THINK THAT AT MY FINGER TIPS IS BOTH AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF MASS EFFECT TALI FUTA INFLATION PORN AND ALSO THE CORPUS HERMETI(C U M). &GUESS WHICH ONE ME AND LITTLE TIMMY WHO IS BAWLING HIS EYES OUT BECAUSE HE JUST GOT SNIPED AT TITLED TOWERS (NEVER EVEN PLAYED THE GAME BUT I STILL K N O W THE GODDAMN NAME HOLYFUK) WILL CHOOSE? YOU JUST DON'T SEE THE WHOLE BIGBANG LAUGHTRACK BOGPILLED PICTURE, BUDDY.
HOW IS LITERATURE ANYTHING BUT OBSOLETE?
?
?

[Anonymous No.14859041]

Everything in this thread is based

[Anonymous No.14859051]

>>14857321
the boy with the pants from the dream.

[Anonymous No.14859066]

>>14858963
based

[Anonymous No.14859075]

>>14857321
did you just copy a line from Rothfuss?

[Anonymous No.14859093]

>>14857321
>-- If only I had cleared my browser; if only I had not watched cuckhold porn for the over nine thousandth time -- then, maybe then, my wife wife wouldn't have divorced me, or taken my sons two states away and turned them into trans-women--
>Sadler dispensed with the propriety and rigamarole of eating with utensils like a white man ought, and began fisting the artisanal tater tots down his ketchup encrusted maw (the mayonnaise interspersed throughout his beard as he imagined it might be while prepping his estranged wife's pudenda, ripe with menstrual effluvia, newly anointed black bull's cum in another happier, more self-honest timeline) --
>The departure of the last holdouts maintaining his dignity like the defenders at Masada rallied around his tear ducts, held back and forced down into the bottomless pit gathering in his stomach with the tater viscera -- the dead and the dying lost in his fathomless, oceanic depths depravity -- The supernal beauty of the Minnesota sunset, purple from global volcanic tremors, was completely lost to Gregory.
>-- I wonder if my son . . . my Daughter is dilating . . .
>His time in the army served him better today than the past two decades of adjunct professorial dejection -- the microwave oven expelled lightening and flame emitting from superheated coffee mugs stuffed with spoons, igniting the pilot light left on for the better part of the afternoon, and -- when combined with 'leftovers' from his grunt days -- evaporated what remained of the good doctor of philosophy in a creditable reprise of the Tianjin incident. >Gregory Sadler remained a family man in his own mind.

[Anonymous No.14859537]

>>14857321
Conservatism is the new counter culture

[Anonymous No.14859600]

trans rights

[Anonymous No.14859692]

The terrible problem of a really beautiful girl is that only an experienced womanizer, a man cynical and scummy, feels up to the challenge; more often than not she will lose her virginity to some scummy lowlife in what proves to be the first step in an irrevocable decline from which there shall be no return, no refunds, no ticket back. You probably guessed it, but I was one of those womanizers and a damn good one at that.

[Anonymous No.14860069]

Based thread

[Anonymous No.14860106]

Call me Ishmael

[Anonymous No.14860147]

I know many feel unwell, but there's no political solution to our problem. You may turn to politics out of a need to address that which longs within the spirit, but know that nothing short of radical change, one which goes beyond the ballot and overhauls the entire system, can solve our problem. What we need is a collapse of consumer culture, to forget about perpetual economic growth and return to a sustainable way of living, one in harmony with nature. We need to value each other for reasons outside of our worth to a callous economic system, reduce the hours we work so that we may have more time to spend with our friends and family, destroy social media and indict those responsible for its proliferation, overhaul the values spread by our communication systems, relearn to treasure our moments and not the image of a moment. The heroes we now have are false: genetically enhanced sports stars and narcissistic rappers, celebrities who believe in only themselves and who preach only for themselves -- politicians, businessmen, and academics who value only growth metrics, abstracted away from the pain of the average man. They'll call us extremists, but that is a compliment. What's extreme to a world such as this, can only be good.

[Anonymous No.14860247]

>Only one enemy remained; two, if you counted God.

[Anonymous No.14860248]

>>14860247
kek

[Anonymous No.14860253]

>>14857321
It was like any other day, only this time slightly different

[Anonymous No.14860357]

>>14857321
"Where are my legions, Varus? Vaarus? Varus! Where are my legions?" Still not quite decapited Varus heard the principate's voice roaring in his head since his nightmare. "Varus? My legions? You haven't left them in Germany, you? Where are my legions? Don't tell me you trusted Armenius... A German... Of all people..." Another strike finished the job, but the voice kept ringing. One could see it in his eyes. "Varus? Where are my legions, Varus?"

[Anonymous No.14860424]

Imaginary Boys
official lyrics
She wants a boy like Link who doesn't talk but listens (Hey)
To another world with InuYasha she envisions
Compared to Tamaki every other guy's an eyesore
Like L she thinks that Light Yagami is to die for
If only I could be the hero heart throb
In the pictures by her bed
She wants someone who's perfect
Like the stories in her head
Every day I try so hard to play the part
But she plays hearts like toys
She drools over imaginary boys
She wants Edward Elric to be her Super Junior (Who are you
calling short)
Her own Tuxedo Mask she's just like Sailor Moon
Her favorite band is Bad Luck yaoi is her every night's
dream
Wish I was fair like Zack because she's my whole lifestream
If only I could be the hero heart throb
In the pictures by her bed
She wants someone who's perfect
Like the stories in her head
Every day I try so hard to play the part
But she plays hearts like toys
She drools over imaginary boys
Just like Pokemon she's gotta catch 'em all
I'm strung up like a scroll on her wall
If only I could be the hero heart throb
In the pictures by her bed
She wants someone who's perfect
Like the stories in her head
Every day I try so hard to play the part
But she plays hearts like toys
She drools over imaginary boys
She drools over imaginary boys
Imaginary boys

[Anonymous No.14860438]

I don't want to objectify my girlfriend.

[Anonymous No.14860478]

A peculiar thing happened out at Jessup's Dairy last week. You know that old field out next to the milking area? Well I don't know how to explain it but the pebbles on the ground grew into rocks, and then the rocks grew into statues that resembled the likes of men, and one of the statues grew into a temple. And on the door of that temple was an engraved image of a man with a hundred eyes all over his head. The inside contains a large granite altar. The ceiling is covered with finely detailed engravings of shrubbery. A beautiful stone garden, hanging upside down. And on the wall behind the altar was a message that read: "No human influence can save you now. You've got to sacrifice all your dairy cows." Old man Jessup wasn't very happy about that. And to make matters worse, the cows broke the gate open over at the pasture, and formed a line leading up to the steps of the temple. Well we decided to sacrifice one cow just to see what would happen. We took half a cord of firewood, threw it on the altar, took one of the older cows and used a forklift to get her up on top. Then old man Jessup took his blowtorch and lit the wood on fire. We stood outside and watched as a thick purple smoke issued out the door. Inside the smoke there were thousands of diamonds floating upwards. And as they bounced against each other, they made the sound of tinkling bells. The cows were back out in the pasture. I've never seen those cows happier in all my life. And as the sun set, a new statue grew up from the ground, and it bore the likeness of old man Jessup's face chiseled onto it. I was determined that tomorrow I would be the man holding the blowtorch and I would sacrifice the next sacred cow, so the next morning I set up more wood and put my own cow Betsy on top, my own cow. I lit the torch, a cloud of pure white smoke drifted out of the temple, and inside the smoke there appeared to be a spiring–spiraling carousel of the moving faces of everybody throughout history floating upwards towards heaven. After the fire burned out, the smoke drifted out of sight, another statue emerged out of the ground. This one bore the likeness of old Betsy with a grin on her face. Then, just to rub it in I guess, old man Jessup turns to me and said "It looks just like her, don't it?" I guess Jessup made his sacrifice by having his name mentioned in account of this story. Now folks around here are gonna be pestering him forever wanting to see his new statues. And you can call me Old Betsy, because now you know what kind of dreams we cows have.

[Anonymous No.14860997]

>>14857321
I think I know something and want to make sure every body else know it.