Write What's on Your Mind

[Anonymous No.14757585]

if a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to perceive it with their senses, then there is neither forest, nor tree, nor standing, nor falling, neither space nor time. the human mind is like a lantern that puts a faint circle of light into the night, or like a fishnet that covers an invisible person and marks his contours. a senseless space is empty.

the depth of the world, within the perceived area, increases with the number of senses and with their strength. the small area behind your monitor, for example, is, according to its sensual being (and there is no other being than sensual), smaller, weaker, more blurred than the area in front of the monitor that is visible to you. we receive information through our ears and nose and other sensitive measuring instruments, but we miss the great creative power of the eye. the range of even our finest measuring instruments is limited. behind this limit lies nothingness & memory.

this does not say anything about whether what we perceive is material or immaterial. it simply says that outside the very narrow circle of our senses, things (however they may exist in our presence, as matter or as ideas) are inaccessible to us if we do not sense them, and therefore non-existent. what we falsely consider to be their existence is 1) remembrance of them and 2) the experience of temporal and spatial continuity. to a certain extent, we ascribe magical powers to these two activities of our brain: we see images of things in our head, but instead of thinking of them as photographs, we think of them as windows. we make a sensual experience, and transfer this experience to that which is not sensual.

behind the walls of my room is nothingness. through my window i see treetops, the sky. my eyes are like a spotlight. instead of light into darkness, they cast being into nothingness. the whole sky, right now, is but a window-sized square.

[Anonymous No.14757651]

How do you describe faint autism

[Anonymous No.14757656]

>>14757651
Normalcy

[Anonymous No.14757663]

I- I... Look you guys are okay.. I love the fact that you don't waste your time on video games nor tv but on intellectual pursuits instead. But some of the shit you right here is pure cringe and overestimating your abilities. It really makes the caricature - that this place is just for incels pseuds who'll blame their pursuit of knowledge for not getting any social interaction - seem awfully true. I'm not trying to discourage you but damn...

[Anonymous No.14757664]

>>14757651
like a type of dispassionate passion

[Anonymous No.14757669]

>>14757663
write*

[Anonymous No.14757756]

All the psych books that i read are basically theory + examples and if you want a cure then go to therapy.

[Anonymous No.14757791]

I found myself watching a stand up comedy show last night, not my choice I assure you. A massive theatre packed to capacity laughing at some black guy telling stories of teenagers watching porn in monotone. He irradiated a lack of confidence. I on the other hand exude such confidence that I could capture an audiences hearts on such pointless topics as the impact of free market economics on the heroin trade. I should do stand up, looks like easy money. I have played the clown for all my life, a confident clown would be a much needed innovation to stand up it seems.

I have an old friend I met in a hellhole in the middle-east a few years ago visiting me next month. She loved me, probably still does. I always enjoyed gently bullying her. I will confidently tell her that I will marry her one day, she'll laugh and tell me to stop teasing her, she'll sleep not knowing if I was being genuine or just playfully gaslighting her as usual.

>>14757651
Munchausen syndrome

>>14757756
The cure they won't tell you is to stop believing you have an illness. Read Szasz.

>>14757585
>my eyes are like a spotlight
This is a strangely cozy idea and image to think of

[Anonymous No.14757795]

>>14757791
>The cure they won't tell you is to stop believing you have an illness. Read Szasz.
What do you recommend? Also i dont think that neurosis is not an illness.

[Anonymous No.14757866]

A bunch of mad lad country boys joined the college and the gynocracy that is the student council of sophomores can’t handle them at all, very entertaining to watch.

[Anonymous No.14757882]

>>14757791
>I have an old friend I met in a hellhole in the middle-east a few years ago visiting me next month. She loved me, probably still does. I always enjoyed gently bullying her. I will confidently tell her that I will marry her one day, she'll laugh and tell me to stop teasing her, she'll sleep not knowing if I was being genuine or just playfully gaslighting her as usual.
Holy cow, could you be any more gay?

[Anonymous No.14757965]

>>14757882
Yes, if she was a he.

[Anonymous No.14757978]

>>14757882
Yes. I thought myself a gay tranny a few years back, so I consider this an improvement. That was a bad couple years, but now that I'm not a depressed sack of shit that spends all their time online I'm back to being a heterosexual male thankfully. Reading the Bible to ensure it stays that way.

>>14757795
"The Myth of Mental illness" is a good place to start with him. If neurosis is a genuine problem for you which affects your day to day functioning, therapy can be a good idea. It's overzealous psychiatrists you want to be weary of. And for most low level mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, etc, basic positive thinking can help a lot. Many of the most common mental "illnesses" prolong themselves through constant affirmations that they are disease that nothing can be done about.

[Anonymous No.14758009]

>>14757978
does the fear of life count as low level mental disorder?

[Anonymous No.14758209]

Tomorrow the carnival season starts on my city (I'm brazillian) and I'm plan to go at least for two nights. My friend is going to bring some coke and will provide the alcohol, shit will be fucking insane. I'm not the type of person who goes to parties/clubs but there's something nice about partying for a couple days and then moved on with your life, whitout repeting all the reckless behaviour for months. Anyway, after it ends, I pretend to go sober for a few weeks and then try some ayhuasca to get things on track again and "start" the year on a good way.

[Anonymous No.14758214]

>>14758009
Yes

[Anonymous No.14758217]

I am currently in deep ketosis.

[Anonymous No.14758736]

My dad got a raise. Some change happened at his company, and now he gets paid a lot more. I has an irresistible curiosity, so I snooped a document and I saw my his income listed as $550k, with $600k projected for next year. "Ah, good news." I though. "We're not poor." If only I knew that this was the beginning of the ultimate flex.

But before I started getting atomically dabbed on by my own father, I started noticing how wacky my family is. None of them know anything about money. I also saw the family credit card bill recently, and I mentioned this to my adult sister. She asked me if it was more or less than $100,000. Not per year but PER MONTH. She thought there was a possibility we spend more than a million dollars per year on groceries, gas, and amazon.

[Anonymous No.14758764]

>>14757585
I can't stop looking at this painting long enough to read the OP

[Anonymous No.14758771]

>>14757663
Write something faggot.

[Anonymous No.14758797]

What do you guys think about academic philosophy in the modern anglophone world? I have a deep interest in philosophy, particularly continental, but a rather pessimistic view of academic philosophy. I’m really questioning if it would be worth it to pursue formal study.

[Anonymous No.14758825]

just found out about “hell’s itch” and it really is quite an experience

[Anonymous No.14758828]

Every day I lose. With every step towards an action I lose the drive to commit to any path, as all of it leads down to nothing. And that's what I am, nothing. I don't exist as an active participant, I'm just an idiotic and passive observer of the absurdity of what we call "progress". Progress towards what any of us will ask at some point, and the answer is inevitably and undoubtedly a nihilistic and pessimistic triage. And I haven't said a damn thing. Empty words flow from this keyboard, empty words that are limitless in quantity, the rate at which they flow no one can surpass, my only talent. I can flow strings of nothingness together as any professional writer outputs meaningful prose. I'm the master of my empty domain. Come with me, I'll give you nothing.

[Anonymous No.14758852]

i have an upcoming deadline to submit a paper somewhere and i'm wasting my morning procrastinating on an imageboard and will probably continue doing this for at least 45 minutes before i start my day and do my fucking work auuuughhhguhguhg

[Anonymous No.14758864]

Fuck guys how do I stop jerking off and cooming everday?

I can't help but jerk off to women and it makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed and dirty and impure. how can I expect to get a cute and loving gf when I do something this gross and nasty and sinful all the time

[Anonymous No.14758892]

NIGGA IF YOU MENTION "VERTICAL FARMS" ONE MORE TIME I GONNA STICK SOMETHING VERTICAL UP *YOUR* FARM NIGGA

[Anonymous No.14758958]

>>14758864
The best way? Don’t give yourself the option. Throw away your computer or phone. Stay busy. Stay out of the house.

[Anonymous No.14758959]

I've been thinking about writing a blog. Well, I was actually thinking about starting a journal, but decided I might as well try to make other people feel better by reading about my utterly worthless existence.

[Anonymous No.14758964]

>>14757585
feet

[Anonymous No.14759057]

>>14758964
for me its bellies

[Anonymous No.14759099]

>>14757585
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BOCA
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BO
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BOCA
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BO
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BOCA
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BO
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BOCA
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BO
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BOCA
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BO
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BOCA
DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE DALE BO

[Anonymous No.14759147]

>>14758736
hei send your /lit/ pal here a gift ;)

[Anonymous No.14759432]

I am smarter, faster and stronger than I've been at any other point in my life. Yet nothing has truly changed. I lack the fire of humanity, the drive that push to new heights. I've come to terms with never living a fulfilling life.

[Anonymous No.14759499]

>>14758864
Hate to break it to you, but your hypothetical cute and loving gf is also gross, nasty, and sinful

>>14758797
I know a few philosophy grad students and professors. Are you spergy enough to zero in on one question to the exclusion of all else? That seems to be the key to "making it" in academic philosophy

>>14758736
Rich lil bitch

>>14758217
Lol, not likely

[Anonymous No.14759733]

Someone pointed out that the Democratic party is currently undergoing an implosion similar to that of the Republican in 2016. Where the frontrunner candidate is anti-establishment and his popularity exists in stark contradiction to the inner drives and purposes of the party (support for capital). The party is then thrown into chaos as all its protocols are vacated and it scrambles to present some semblance of an illusion that it acts in the interests of the average citizen. Bloomberg then swoops in and re-establishes "sanity" as a plutocrat, reassuring the financier-wing of the democratic party that it will business as usual. Bloomberg is far worse than Trump in terms the corrosive influence of money in politics. Trump is worth about how much Bloomberg spends regularly simply weaving a network of bought and paid for sycophants in whatever organizations, right or left leaning, suit his machinations.

With the republican column of the American two party system already demolished and discredited, what remains is for the democratic column to cave. Hopefully then the entire system will have shown itself for what it is. This loss of balance on both feet of the two-party system is quite telling and solid proof of its own internal disintegration.

[Anonymous No.14759741]

>>14759733
>popularity exists in stark contradiction to the inner drives and purposes of the party (support for capital)
Don't get me wrong, Trump is a plutocrat whose policies only benefit the wealthy, but his message was populist.

[Anonymous No.14759832]

I'm an extremely talented writer currently working on solid pieces but truth is I'd rather waste time shitposting and scrolling. Which is likely I won't become a successful writer, just a talented one, with a life full of useless oldfaggotery.

[Anonymous No.14759865]

>>14757585
Can you post more pretty drawings like that one please

[Anonymous No.14759888]

>>14759832
how to composition o great anonymauthor
I seem to only get disjointed passages that read nicely on their own.

[Anonymous No.14760015]

>>14759888
I personally taught myself a disicipline of active language, few descriptive adjectives, with sentences only written per story advancement. Of course you can only write such sentences if you know your story, so I break them down in a monomythic story circle before I write a word. hipster as it sounds, it's an attempt at hemingway's "iceberg" theory married with a curriculum of campbell, jung, and a little harmon. this current discipline and attempts at composition thus prose is extremely effective.

[Anonymous No.14760051]

>>14757978
>for most low level mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, etc, basic positive thinking can help a lot

Positive reinforcement (CBT shit) can help short term, but unless you address the underlying thing that is making you anxious / depressed it will just return at a later date. That's not to say CBT is irrelevant, but it's a coping mechanism not a cure. That's why talk therapy (or some equivalent) is more beneficial in the long run.

[Anonymous No.14760063]

>>14758864
>>14758958

Reiterating this anon. Stop using your phone / computer, and if that isn't an option stay away from sites with porn or pornagraphic banners. Stick to SFW boards.

[Anonymous No.14760130]

>get into debate about something
>manage to convince them that you're right
>lie sleepless at night because you realize you were wrong, shortsighted, and avoided important factors that would undermine your points
Is there a worse feeling this this?

[Anonymous No.14760198]

>>14760015
neat
>few descriptive adjectives
So to paint a scene more vividly do you imply, leave it to interpretation or use a different method? I feel like this may be something for me to work on

[Anonymous No.14760225]

>>14760015
Post an excerpt anon, would you

[Anonymous No.14760239]

>>14759499
>Hate to break it to you, but your hypothetical cute and loving gf is also gross, nasty, and sinful
FUCK

[Anonymous No.14760272]

Swallowing a strand of noodle halfway, and then pulling it back up feels kinda good.

[Anonymous No.14760327]

>>14760239
And here I thought that knowledge would come as a relief

[Anonymous No.14760335]

>>14760327
Ignorance is key to a happy life.

[Anonymous No.14760339]

>>14760198
It's hard to answer this without saying "just read hemingway". Personally I've always hated reading long verbose sentences with flowerily language. Occasionally you get a beautiful sentence or a perfect sentence. It's just so much ink, time, and effort getting there. I believe the mark of a good writer is communicating the auteur intent with as little as possible. Which reflects reality. When you see an apple on the counter. You don't observe it's shimmering crimson jacket of tender wrapped god fruit. You don't inhale the intoxicating aroma of a clean but orderly kitchen filled with produce. No, nine times out of ten, you look at an apple. Then your brain knows there's an apple there. Personally I can go on about an apple in say my work. But I've learned unless there details about the apple that are relevant to the "allegories", "subtext", or "meaning" of the story, I leave them out entirely.

>>14760225
This is the first paragraph of a short story submission I entered for a content in December. The prose is baroque and we hear a call and cross a threshold. The whole story came out to 1200ish words which I was weirdly proud.

The cat lives a content life. Her bowl is full, her little box clean, and her fur groomed. Inside her house is her brown cat tree, her brown living room, and her brown bedroom. Outside the front door is a green world singing with bird sirens scented with nepeta cataria. It calls too often in a relentless teasing of the poor cat’s obedient sensibilities. One day, her human leaves the door open just a foot. Enough to welcome the sounds and smells of the cat’s daily fantasies. The cat’s head pokes just past the opening to find the grass, sidewalks, and trees of suburbia. To her, this is an endless utopia of everything she’s ever wanted, but never had.

[Anonymous No.14760351]

>>14760339
"Baroque" isn't the word I would use to describe this

[Anonymous No.14760372]

>>14760351
well I posted original writing on lit so it's inherently bad and I should give up I know I know excuse me while I post yet another thread about philosophy

[Anonymous No.14760388]

>>14760372
Hey I didn't say it was bad, and you can't judge a story by a single paragraph anyway. It reminds me a bit of DFW, with its frankness and repetition. Take that however you like.

[Anonymous No.14760426]

>>14760339
Thank you

[Anonymous No.14760434]

>>14760339
ty for taking the time to explain
my academic background is maths and science, and I've only recently got back into creative hobbies (writing and music, although have the sense to stay away from /mu/) so any help is appreciated
I kind of get what you mean from your excerpt, frank scene description gets the setting across effectively enough and the story has a chance to move on

[Anonymous No.14760527]

how do i motivate myself to grade 400,000 papers

[Anonymous No.14760546]

Do you really to start young to make it big?

[Anonymous No.14760552]

For the first time in weeks I don’t feel a great amount of hate, which is nice.

[Anonymous No.14760575]

>>14760527
How do I motivate myself to write a paper

[Anonymous No.14760580]

>>14760339
>No, nine times out of ten, you look at an apple. Then your brain knows there's an apple there.
This is manifestly wrong. We don't register lists of objects like a robot.The way anyone approaches such a scene depends on their entire past history with apples, rooms like that one, their hunger level, fatigue, what's already on their mind, etc.

That writers see the world as richer tapestries of sensations doesn't make it not real, it just makes Hemmingway a boring nigger NPC with no internal life.

[Anonymous No.14760604]

>>14760272
Fag

[Anonymous No.14760615]

>>14760580
I know it's /lit/ and all but okay hemingway was a nigger npc sure. the sad truth is nowadays and into the future, people are reading less. and when they do read, they could stop, and not finish. ive learned this lesson making a fully finished and illustrated 26 page comic book. a damn picture book. people do not read. when one understands your audience's time, patience, and reading comprehension is finite, you finally understand you have a responsibility as a writer to keep your work a bereft as possible. it worked in old man and the sea, and it works today. Most especially when most educated writers and published author sitting on the chapter's clearance bin all practically read the same.

furthermore, I am of the belief the "iceberg theory", while hisptery, is a method for rendering reality. you can write a surreal character in a surreal story. perhaps long elucidated sentences rich with descriptive adjectives would work better there. but making things as REAL as possible, with as little words as possible, is when things become REAL in the reader's mind. Not SURREAL. By maintain reality, the rituals of a monomythic story circle can become more affective. Kubrick also shared in this "iceberg theory". Specifically 2001 A Space Odyssey. He maintained reality. Kept everything as absolutely real. Without the film analogy of "verbose language". No dialogue for 45 minutes. Not a single word spoken in the last act. Shots rarely move as we simply stare at the reality of ships or people or computers in space. Kubrick and Hemingway are extremely similar to such a degree I'm surprised he never adapted Old Man And The Sea.

[Anonymous No.14760667]

L'ambroise délicate éclaire la joue de mon comparse.
- Prend donc cor de la goutte, lui dis-je.
Il se retourna vers moi, lentement. Maintenant ses yeux sont en face des miens. Vert. J'ai peut-être trop bu ce soir, mais point de malour.
Je suis bien, on est bien, c'est tout ce qui compte astoure.

[Anonymous No.14760774]

>>14760615
you are somewhat right. people have become weak-minded. and we must take this into account. but i dont believe that verbosity or spareness is the critical dichotomy here. i think people come to books with a mind for movies. and movies are first and foremost, in some way or another, exercises of tightness. if they work, they wrap stories up tightly. tightness and looseness is what we have to be looking at. now, as i understand it, you equate tightness with spareness. but spareness is only one of different technique that serves tightness. you pull everything out that is not necessary and voila. this is fine. but there are other ways. there is a tightness of overflow, of sensory bombardment. there is a tightness of dreaminess. there is a tightness of thought. there is a tightness of confusion. the list is as long as our bookshelf. the thing that unites these techniques, or rather: these forms of storytelling, is the mastery of pacing. each of these forms of storytelling comes with its own toolbox. what creates tightness is the right use of these tools. to screw everything in its right place creates enjoyable stories people will read. of course, there are different kinds of readers. aigoooo i have to poop

[Anonymous No.14760803]

>>14760774
art. subjectivity. blah blah blah. I personally do not hold vague uncertain beliefs about the writing craft or story structure. When one understands the monomyth, and when understands the ritualistic structure of one's own story, then you understand what language to use when rendering the reality of the story. I know explicitly what my tools are and they are fully sharpened.

[Anonymous No.14760816]

>>14760604
You better watch your mouth, you cunt, or I'll show you that breathing is a privilege. Let's see who's the fag when you have my dick shoved down your throat, you fucking little piece of shit.

[Anonymous No.14760844]

>>14757585
I know its an unwritten rule to say how much love you possess for your male friends but in many ways its a kind of love that cannot be applied to anyone else.
On a primal level we both accept the monotonous grind of life, understanding just how depressing and unfulfilling it is while also knowing we should never talk about this with our families or lovers because frankly, no one gives a fuck how much shit we have to eat.
But we know, it's a silent truth shared between all of us, and i think more than anything its reinforced by the hazings we give each other.
We know it isn't meant in a malicious sense and we also know that we genuinely care for each others well being.
It doesn't have to be said because it ruins the foundation of that trust and because we both know its there anyway, we just do.
It's beautifully pure in a way, us making fun of each other is done in the pursuit of making each other laugh.
It's a kind of companionship formed under such bleak circumstances and it's almost exclusively seen in groups of guys.
It's nice to belong.

[Anonymous No.14760858]

>>14760844
When I'm with my best bros, I regret not being born gay. I would swallow cum by the gallons for those champs.

[Anonymous No.14760863]

>>14760803
story structure is key. prose style is so so. maybe we talk passed each other. what you try do is fine. i hope you have success. i dont think, however, that your way is the only way. to be more precise: that hemingways spare prose style is the only way. there are only a handfull ways to structure a popular story. but there are many ways to meatify those bones. many kinds of meat, one bonestructure. most popular books today are not hemingway style. but they are tight in structure.

[Anonymous No.14760891]

>>14760816
>Former Navy Seal here... you're done kiddo

[Anonymous No.14760893]

>>14760863
You are completely right. Thank you for saying. This is a bit of my ego but also seems there are some who read these and try to learn. They should know there are other approaches then "le hemingway".

[Anonymous No.14760899]

Has anyone here tried therapy? What are you experiences? I've been depressed for several years, and I always figured it would eventually pass, but it feels like I'm slowly slipping down a path with no return.

[Anonymous No.14761137]

Tfw reality fractures
Oh god oh fuck what is this the beast is here to take what is his. My attempts to ward it were childish and meaningless. I’ll tell you what keeps happening. Patterns are converging in a self evident future. I’m stuck in the present of confusion where nothing is worked out. Yet steel beings enter through temporal fault lines to dance around me in this meditation circle. Casting rites over and across me then pulling them taut bringing me to Earth, all while chanting NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE. Their stares a globohomo ADS heat ray liquefying my form and coagulating my puddle self with the ground. I’m a Cronenberg blob!

I don’t even know what I did to invoke these entities. Because I’ve lately been thinking in public and being inconspicuous. About the Mandelbrot fractal unfurling in the material/biological realm with increasing complexity as the variable t increases, exhibiting pockets of evolutionary development which self-divide into interactive ecosystems of complexly balanced subsystems we like to divide down into kingdom, genera, species, individual organism, what have you, while, at face value, observing itself through bulbs of self-perception and systems of interacting bulbs within the larger human superorganism, as we talk about our history and our species and ourselves and our own capacity for self-perception.

In the revolving infernal machine, at my haunted locus point there was static between me and the astral. I may have been split then and part of me may be with the agents I don’t know but that may be the next plane? No but I think it’s full awareness and consciousness in each particle. Which is the terror of TRUE pantheism. What they don’t tell you is how uncomfortable it is to feel every flesh particle vibrating. Of course I used to want it with my all-encompassing naïveté.

There’s no going back right? My downy wings were eaten in fire so I fall hoping gravity will pull me yet I find only the echoes of space.

[Anonymous No.14761145]

>>14757585
ALL THE OTHER KIDS
WITH THEIR PUMPED UP KICKS

[Anonymous No.14761226]

>get bored being a no friends no gf shut in
>go traveling for a month
>get sick of living in hotels and not being able to cook proper meals (not rich enough to travel and dine out every single meal lmao)
>go back home, resume being a shut in
>repeat
My life is a meme

[Anonymous No.14761334]

>>14757664
correct

[Anonymous No.14761393]

>>14761226
i did the same thing recently lol but i had fun walking trough the city all day and going to empty cinemas by myself. lost 2kg because of bad diet but it was nice.

[Anonymous No.14761588]

>>14761226
>shut in with no social contacts
>presumably no job
>can afford to travel
Fuuuuuccckkkkkk yooooouuu

[Anonymous No.14761666]

When driving home from work at night sometimes a depressing mantra will become stuck in my head. For a while it was, "life will always break your heart," from The Elementary Particles. More recently it's been, "there is no consolation," an original composition. Usually I'll cry, then arrive home, sit in the driveway to compose myself, then enter the house, where I, an adult, live with my parents.

[Anonymous No.14761680]

>>14761666
No consolation for what?

[Anonymous No.14761729]

>>14761680
Anything. I had had a terrible day at work. I have no social life, no girlfriend or wife, no prospect of one.

[Anonymous No.14762167]

>>14759099
Absolutamente basado

[Anonymous No.14762174]

Lately I feel as though I’ve accomplished nothing. After implying this to a friend he told me to look at my situation and compare it to where I was last year. I did this reluctantly and yes, things are better. I don’t live with my parents anymore and am going to school rather than doing nothing. I have some friends too even if these friendships don’t fell deep. I had none of these things last year. Still have never had a girlfriend though and have no greater purpose in life. My friends have these things and I feel worthless in the midst of them. I can definitively say I’m not in Hell anymore though, which I forget. Life is tolerable now, but the mediocrity gets under my skin.
I’m better off than many anons here, so to you guys I say I’ve been there and it can get better.

[Anonymous No.14762182]

>>14758828
>I'm the master of my empty domain. Come with me, I'll give you nothing
Alright go on, I’m listening

[Anonymous No.14762191]

>>14758959
Do it I’ll read

[Anonymous No.14762198]

>>14759832
Post your work

[Anonymous No.14762233]

>>14760899
I’ve had some success with it and sometimes not. There’s a chance for improvement so why not do it?

[Anonymous No.14762257]

great news fellas, i wrote one (1) page of this conference paper tonight!

[Anonymous No.14762975]

>>14760899
You have to remember that you may change therapist a couple of times until you find the one with whom you "click"

[Anonymous No.14762999]

>>14762174
It's strange how quickly changes become a new normal, and how easy it is to lose track of the progress we have made. I think your friend's advice was good. If your life has improved for the better this past year, it will continue to improve. It's easy to look at people who have more than us or are further along in their journeys and get impatient, that's normal I think, but the best thing to do is to stick at it.

[Anonymous No.14763082]

>>14760615
could you recommend me some of your favourite books that showcase, more or less exactly, what you are trying to do with your style. besides hemingway, of course.

[Anonymous No.14763652]

I want to write a novel, but no one character or story or setting holds my attention long enough.

I have SO much writing. So many character sketches, scenes, dialogues, monologues, and notes. Nothing to unify them under. I think about doing some cheapo avant garde thing and just cramming them all discordantly together but I don't think that impresses anyone anymore and I think my best writing deserves better.

I write every day I just don't know how to get myself into a headspace where I can write on one thing.

[Anonymous No.14763659]

>>14762182
Hah, you fool!

[Anonymous No.14763698]

>>14758828
this guy unironically looks like he would taste good. and i have never had cannibalistic urges before.

[Anonymous No.14763708]

>>14763698
Then why do you eat so many dicks?

[Anonymous No.14763728]

>>14763708
i haven't "eaten" any dicks i have sucked a few but that's a different kind of taste for flesh.

this man looks like he would taste good slow cooked and eaten like a pork or beef.

[Anonymous No.14763765]

Demons are literally real and they work in secret to drag all of humankind down to Hell.

[Anonymous No.14763791]

>>14763765
>>14763765
Humanity would thrive in hell. In hell we would be given a purpose. Even if that purpose is suffering, we could be certain what that purpose is. Humanity as a whole pursuing a single purpose would be the greatest gift. On earth we simply suffer, while being given glimpses of false hope. Demons leaving us alone would be the greatest punishment.

[Anonymous No.14763793]

>>14763765
I have had this kind of literal recognition of evil on acid before, but it's a very very hard worldview to live with.

[Anonymous No.14763836]

>>14763791
No, you are mistaken. There is no 'we' in Hell - there each man is alone.

[Anonymous No.14763856]

He walked alone in the evening. The path wound him through the public gardens. In the sepia light, kids were playing. Parents watched, drinking. It wound him around. Fixing his eyes on the concrete ahead, he tried to follow his therapist’s advice: ‘be mindful.’ Her voice broke up in his memory, an unreliable signal. All that white noise. A boy was crying. Dad was laughing. He was nearly home.

[Anonymous No.14763866]

What's the difference between profound and obvious? Also what is the difference between deep and cringe?

[Anonymous No.14763887]

He walked alone in the evening. The path wound him through the public gardens. Kids were playing. Parents were drinking. It wound him around. He fixed his eyes on the concrete ahead and tried to follow his therapist’s advice. Her voice broke up in his memory, an unreliable signal. All that white noise. A boy crying. Dad laughing. He was nearly home.

[Anonymous No.14763915]

I want to to scream. I never do. What if the neighbors called the police, or worse, what if they don't.

[Anonymous No.14763919]

>>14757585
Help me bros, I think that I am falling in love with an escort.
I have been seeing her for a year now, she was the one that took my v card.

For what I know she is married and seeing just a few clients, she accepted me because the thought that me being 26 and virgin was kinda cute.

I felt like a retard the first time but each time that we see each other I feel like we are growing closer, we share a lot of interests, she laughs at my jokes (Believe me I can tell when woman are just being polite and this is not the case)

[Anonymous No.14763970]

>>14757978
>The Myth of Mental illness
I knew that gay people are normal!

[Anonymous No.14764164]

I have Facebook and go on Reddit for certain things. I do not give a shit what you'll think of that because it's not the point.

On social media for awhile there's been those positive affirmations and shit. You know what I'm talking about? Usually they start or end with, 'in case anyone needed to hear this today' and are uplifting in the most vague and banal way. 'You matter', 'it's okay to be going through things', 'it's okay to do xyzed'. Etc, etc. Sometimes it has a consumerist message about "retail therapy" that is disgustingly American.

When did this stuff start? It seems like easy recognition with people upvoting and liking it. It's basic and dull, and I really have no idea what is going through the minds of the creatures that enjoy it.

[Anonymous No.14764231]

>>14760339
It’s shit

[Anonymous No.14764300]

>>14764164
It’s Kitsch. I think it started when it became possible for people to become relatively wealthy/well-off while having no taste whatsoever – so basically with industrialization / capitalism.

[Anonymous No.14764630]

>>14763919
Maybe shes just baiting the money

[Anonymous No.14764737]

>>14764630
I don't know man, i have meet my share of gold diggers and its not like that, plus I am just a wagecuck no big money to speak off

[Anonymous No.14764770]

>when you realize that everything good about women is something men either romanticized being part of their character or enacted upon them
Men really should just band together and reduce their exposure to women to a minimum

[Anonymous No.14764792]

>>14764770
Pretty gay

[Anonymous No.14764829]

>>14757791
you're being cucked by a chad goat herder

[Anonymous No.14764834]

>>14758864
>cute and loving gf
you won't anyway. women do not experience love in the way you do. they are barely even human.

[Anonymous No.14764844]

>>14764770
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKBtMLOC2oU

[Anonymous No.14764858]

>>14764792
still true

[Anonymous No.14764874]

>>14764844
fashion peaked 2500+ years past.

[Anonymous No.14764895]

I'm the guy from the last thread who was talking about how much I used to write fetish-related erotica. I actually found myself writing some more a few days ago. But I tried to make this one a little more "wholesome" if that makes any sense. Maybe I'm just growing out of degeneracy in general, but I was compelled to write something that actually featured a pleasant main character, not degenerate or nasty but somebody it might be nice to know outside of a fetish context.

The coomers on /trash/ didn't think much of it, so maybe, paradoxically, I did something right.

[Anonymous No.14765096]

Why does my analysis of literature class feel more like a bookclub than a class about literary theory? Is this to do with post structuralism? Thank God I'm not an english major. I would lose my mind if I had to take anymore classes like this.

[Anonymous No.14765100]

>>14757585
Why do some goodreads reviewers recap the book summery. Is it so they can 'hide" that they have nothing to say or are they just lazy shills?

[Anonymous No.14765150]

>>14757585
I've had sleep paralysis many times due to irregular sleeping patterns and have had strange visions. I fall asleep at odd hours LATE into the night and would wake up in the middle of the night, so my sleeping schedule isn't very consistent.

In the beginning, I'd hear scary voices from beings that I thought were spirits and sometimes I would see these creatures that don't exist in real life. At first, it scared me because I could not move a muscle and didn't know how to move my body again, I thought that I was dying the first time it happened to me. After getting used to it, I stopped getting scared and I'd see different things. One time I was on a beach somewhere far away, another time I was in a building with turquoise bricks.

A few days ago, I had sleep paralysis again but this time was different from all the others. This time, it was dark and I saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. I could think whatever thoughts I wanted and did not have to fear anything because there was nothing, just nothing. I felt so much at peace in that place, felt like I had found some hidden realm within my mind where I could be free, free from everything.

I wish I could go back to that place just to see what other experiences I could have, expand my mind a little more. I want to meditate but I'm too lazy and wound up to be able to consciously sit there, if only there was a way to meditate in my dreams or something.

[Anonymous No.14765174]

>>14764895
I was not here for the last thread. What tags do you write for

[Anonymous No.14765183]

>>14765150
I avoid letting my dreams out of my control. Had an out of control dream last night were my belly button turned into an outy instead of an inny and then just got bigger and longer until it was a dick that looked like an ugly small elephant trunk

[Anonymous No.14765212]

I wonder what books teenage girls read?

[Anonymous No.14765220]

>>14765212
throne of glass and Grisha trilogy

[Anonymous No.14765223]

When the fuck is there gonna be a cure for tinnitus?

[Anonymous No.14765234]

fuck ssris. rn im suffering from withdrawal and it's fucking horrible. every passing second hurt. i want to smash my head into a wall, i want to put a bullet in this fucker, the conscious brain, the biggest barbarian of this universe and a scared delusional coward.
fuuuuuccckkk i want to escape myself.

[Anonymous No.14765252]

>>14765223
When are we getting cheap cyber eyes?
>>14765234
you have no one but yourself to blame

[Anonymous No.14765286]

>>14765252
>you have no one but yourself to blame
what if you're chained by the expectations of your parents

[Anonymous No.14765291]

>>14765150
I'd also add that I get these dreams that are like a dream within a dream. Like I wake up from dream 3 to dream 2, and then from dream 2 to dream 1, and then I finally wake up fully into the "real world." It's like my mind is an onion, with layers going deeper and deeper all the way till it reaches the core. I feel like that dream where I saw and heard nothing was the center of that "mind onion." I wanna have more experiences where I can consciously dig through the deepest layers of the mind, exploring this has been more fun than travelling out of town IRL.

[Anonymous No.14765295]

>>14765234
I've been debating if I should start on SSRIS or something along those lines. Been depressed for several years. But I keep hearing 'horror' stories, and a lot of former users warn against them. Not sure what to do.

[Anonymous No.14765479]

How do I accept that my chances of ever having a cute, loving gf are basically zero? I don’t want to do something dumb like become a hermit because then my chances will actually be zero, I want to leave my options open but be content if the opportunity never comes.

[Anonymous No.14765536]

I've come to the realization that I can't recall a single memory I felt happiness in the last 10 years. No wonder I want to die.

[Anonymous No.14765586]

moments are eternal

the remaining task of Western science is a theory of the unity of all its branches; a reemergence of myth that was always there under the surface of empiricism

[Anonymous No.14765654]

>>14765174
I mostly write weight gain and fat fetish stuff, when I've written erotica over the years.

[Anonymous No.14765672]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PLEASE LET IT END

The usual.

[Anonymous No.14765770]

>>14763082
Stephen King's "On Writing" has a good passage about active language and passive language. Honestly every aspiring writer with shitty prose writes in passive language. This is the first lesson of Prose 101. Honestly if you're writing passively, then fuck off, and might as well leave your manuscript on the chapter's clearance table, in ritual.

There are many facets to the "Iceberg theory" and many authors use it differently. Additionally my approach to prose is best suited for short stories. Which are usually 1200-3000 words and should, ideally, be, you know, a STORY. Not some weird ramble, not some strange ambiguous "meaning", no it's a fucking story. And understanding what a "Story" is fundamental to breaking one down in a monomythic story circle. There is no specific author of fiction I can currently summon that would best communicate "story structure". Because if there's a story, and there's a beginning middle and end, then there you go. That said, as common as he is now, research Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung. Actually approach their work as science. Explicit. Do not let the normies call it "the hero's journey le Star Wars le matrix". Because that's like calling every burger a Big Mac. Understanding your story before you write is how you write each sentence advancing the story.

I believe nowadays there are specific goals a writer should accomplish. The reader should never leave their eye off the page. Be a minute or an hour, their time reading goes by in a second. There should be an emotional catharsis by the finish. This is best rendered by writing each or most sentence only advancing the story.

William Golding employs some of these bereft sentences. First two sentences of Lord of the Flies: "The boy with fair hair lowered himself down the last few feet of rock and began to pick his way toward the lagoon. Though he had taken off his school sweater and trailed it now from one hand, his grey shirt stuck to him and his hair was plastered to his forehead. ”

You will note the lack of descriptive adjectives. Just fair hair. A grey sweatshirt. The lagoon is a lagoon. It isn't a fluorescent still of standing hydrogen and two parts oxygen making of a slurpy swamp. It's just a fucking lagoon. And what is the "emotional catharsis" of Lord of the Flies? The "subtext" or "meaning"? It is the STORY.

[Anonymous No.14766762]

Nigger

[Anonymous No.14766786]

Ate some chicken earlier after being a vegetarian for almost a year. I think I'm going to start eating meat again. And being myself. For a long time I think I've been pretending to be someone else and it's made me feel like shit and depressed. Not sure why I did it or if I can truly "be myself" again but I have to try, right? It's been years.

[Sad Bastards General No.14766803]

>>14757663
I was thinking we could change it from "Write What's on Your Mind" to "Sad Bastards"
Sound good?

[Anonymous No.14766815]

>>14766786
Just be yourself, kid. I hate being that guy but I can assure you, having lived many decades with all kinds of experiences, that it really is true: this is your one life. Nobody - friends, women, what have you - is really that impressive. Work is good. Stay busy. You’ll be 30 before you know it, and then the steady crawl to 40 and beyond. I guarantee you will look back when you’re 50 and realise you were already perfect as a child. You had all the right answers and always have. Do what you want. Be happy. There isn’t anything else, trust me.

[Anonymous No.14766904]

>>14766815
>dude trust me

[Anonymous No.14767228]

Michiko Kakutani is not nearly as cute as her name suggests.

[Anonymous No.14767236]

>>14766815
I'm 30 in six months. Aaaaaaa

[Anonymous No.14767521]

>>14763919
don't get attached bro
shoot your load and hit the road

[Anonymous No.14767540]

My eyes had teeth, and bit the phone. I don't know how else to explain it.

[Anonymous No.14767566]

I really want a girlfriend

[Anonymous No.14767812]

How do I get past the feeling that my writing is empty? That art requires great devotion and amounts to little more than masturbation?

[Anonymous No.14767816]

>>14763919
You're an idiot and being played in exactly the way you've paid to be. This is like that movie Ex-Machina.

[Anonymous No.14767850]

The one, likely dubious, upside of going through oneitisism is that I’m now completely unwilling to put too much feeling into relationships. It’s simply not worth the risk. Life isn’t a romance novel and it’s best to remember that.

[Anonymous No.14767861]

>>14767850
My life is a romance novel and I just haven't met my love interest yet

[Anonymous No.14767875]

when college started I started losing things. It started with friends, then discipline, etc. The only thing I had left was convincing myself I was smart. Now I know I am an absolute brainlet. Is there a reason to read/study if you;ll always be an idiot?

[Anonymous No.14767931]

I try to spend a few seconds each day stopping and looking at what was given to us. Walking over a rocky road I stop to hear the smooth scratches of pebbles slipping past rocks; it gives me this profound appreciation for life. I'll stop and kneel down to pick up a pebble and feel it because I know I was supposed to, because that is what living is. It's not the harmonious choir in great halls or watching my kids play with my beautiful wife, but a fucking leaf that falls on my lap when I'm sitting outside that gives me confidence that somthing past the boundaries of consciousness is waiting for me. And that is very comforting.

[Anonymous No.14767941]

>>14767875
it's all mind tricks, if you just sat down and actually read the fucking material you would be ahead of 90% of the other students
obviously you won't do well at your job if you don't work

[Anonymous No.14767942]

>>14767816
Women are no robots anon

[Anonymous No.14768141]

>>14767942
>pay woman for sex and intimacy
>she starts to get intimate with you
>i-it's love!!! she only sees a few clients!!!

pathetic. not saying it's all some kind of put on. i'm sure you have built a kind of relationship with her. but it's what you pay for. it's called being a regular. it's not somehow beyond that.

[Anonymous No.14768167]

>>14767931
Love this post. I really like that explanation of what “living” is - picking up a pebble and feeling it and turning it over. Its coolness slowly warming in your hand, its edges merging with yours, its gentle weight pressing down into your flesh.

Great evocation. Thank you, based Anonymous.

[Anonymous No.14768267]

Feeling vaguely paranoid, as though everybody hates me. Not in a self pity way, like, that the people around me are secretly hostile in some way. You know in psychological thrillers when everything seems normal but everything just feels inexplicably off. I'm not sure what's in my head and what's real. Life feels like a series of disconnected interactions that I'm only able to piece together after the fact.

[Anonymous No.14768590]

>>>>14760339
Uninspired SVO n boring narrator make 1200 seem a chore. Your descriptors project a forced character by the narrator onto the poor cat, like mine.

Gather round, and look to the tranny’s apartment: shoddily-applied, unapproved-by-landlord, brown wallpaper demark their feline’s boundaries. Monotone, brown, known, words that describe a master’s platitude kindness to an object of comfort.
Water bowl never without, litter-box almost too often changed, and hardly a week can pass without an eagerly given bath. To, leaving and fro the 4chan tranny’s minimum wage job ‘they’ go. To the cat, the poster-crowded door’s bidaily open-shut offers glimpses of abolition. In those moments, play the otherness’ alluring symphony: impatient wheels under much waited green lights, people bustling places over sidewalk, dumb fucking cyclists getting honked at. It’s fog city, and the tranny’s parents pay for an apartment not too far off Haight-Ashbury. Whether they’re sucking or slacking off, at the bathhouses, or near the reptiles in Petco earning 15/hour toward their next body mod, today it doesn’t matter. In their overslept haste the front door is left cracked, and a curious paw is swatting it open. Unaware of master or slave morality, uncaring about the siren call of the other, its a dumb fucking cat and it wants out. (Probably because it hates trannies.) Pointed ears lead a curious head out the street. It won’t be called Kitten anymore by that one fag, and it’s cruelty free loins are going retarded for some tabby strange.

Your forced symbolism and projecting narrator just don’t scream extremely good.

[Anonymous No.14768628]

Feeling alone. Stronger by the day, in some regards, weaker by the day in others. My support systems drifting slowly away. Parents rapidly aging, siblings moving on in their lives, savings dwindling to nothing. No spiritual progress. No love. I am loveless. My creative work, no gage on whether it will ever pay off. Floundering, no momentum. Living in the shadows of others, knowing some day I might die here. But too far gone, too far along to return to straight life with any real chance of success, with any dignity or sense of self intact. I am an experiment I guess. But I am too close to see the purpose in it. I am too mired in myself to remember why I wanted this. I am living the dream life a younger self planned out for me. Here I am. I made it. What is any of it worth? And I can't imagine the lives of people less fortunate than me. Less certain than me. Life is cruel sure but it's mostly just confusing. Aimless. And I'm weak. And what does the weak do in a constant state of confusion?

I can't wrap my head around what a person is 'supposed to' do with their time. Like what do people do in a day? Outside of work I always have way too much free time and always use it awfully. What do people fill their lives with? My social life my relationships they lead me nowhere. I go in circles with people. It's fun at first and then it just gets hard to put up with and I'm back where I started. No new knowledge. No new enlightenment. It's not even that I'm depressed or want to die. I'm just confused, unmoored, and don't see it getting better.

[Anonymous No.14768650]

>>14768628
> I can't wrap my head around what a person is 'supposed to' do with their time. Like what do people do in a day? Outside of work I always have way too much free time and always use it awfully. What do people fill their lives with?

Holy fuck. I literally thought I was the only person on earth who feels this way! It’s fucking bizarre. What DO people do with their time? Why do they feel such a sense of completeness by doing it? I look at my neighbours or whomever, and they’re, like “today I went to my job then I went to get shopping and I went to yoga then I met someone for coffee and then I came home and made dinner then I watched a movie and...”. Yada yada. I look at it all with such envy but I just couldn’t do it. Lying on the sofa in a state of total inertia contemplating suicide still seems an objectively better existence. I dunno.

Anyway, beautiful writing, man. Hooked me right in from the start, and stands (in a way more than mere irony) in some stark relief to the diatribe of pure bollocks posted before you. Hope you are writing, anyway. Keep going.

[Anonymous No.14768945]

>>14765295
I wouldn’t recommend them anon. I took them along with benzos for about 3 years. The benzos I would definitely advise against under all circumstances. The SSRIs are trickier because they did help, but this was after a traumatic event and I think I just needed time to adjust so I could’ve taken anything and it would’ve “helped”. There were side effects and I suspect lingering effects which I just can’t prove. To be clear, I don’t know that I would recommend anyone not to take them. I just can’t actually recommend anyone do take them, based on my own experience.

[Anonymous No.14769173]

I think I'm a dirty social climber. Or maybe I'm not. I like to think I'm above all that, but I desperately seek some sort of higher approval. Artistic approval? Approval from my peers? I seek something... and I'm aware enough to know that no matter what I seek it will never be enough to satisfy me. Yet everything I do I do in order to recount it. Nothing exists for its own sake, it all becomes in order to become a story. I am deeply unsatisfied. I know nothing else.

[Anonymous No.14769175]

My philosophical musings regarding the nature of the world and the human condition amount to the platitude "Just go with the flow". My heart asks of my mind answers it cannot provide. I am floating between heaven and earth, like a man suspended from a tree branch by his lackluster schlong.

[Anonymous No.14769214]

The train left the station years before I knew where the platform was.
Playing catch-up is now a deeply serious matter.
Time passes by,
but not without barging into me first.

[Anonymous No.14769217]

Do you think I could sleep with Ana Taylor Joy? I reckon if she wasn't famous I could root her. I reckon I've rooted 8/10s. Maybe not higher than that. It's funny... sex is a sordid parlour game in which the aim is to root the hottest chick you can get. But what's the prize? Moot is moot. Such is life...

[Anonymous No.14769274]

humans have lost their relational value of love. your only worth is how much money you make. this is so fucking disgustingly pathetic.
fuck family, fuck love and fuck everything
nothing makes sense anymore. the only real truth is death and suicide.

or maybe i just think that way because im a neet.

can any unmarried anon with a job and family help me?

HELP

[Anonymous No.14769338]

>>14769274
Just go with the flow.

[Anonymous No.14769563]

>>14769338
b-but only dead bodies go with the flow

[Anonymous No.14769583]

>>14769217
>Ana Taylor Joy
what the appeal?

[Anonymous No.14769611]

>>14769563
The dead are fortunate and wise. Thankfully, we are like them.

[Anonymous No.14769628]

Whats the difference between non-charismatic and charismatic person?

[Anonymous No.14769629]

>>14769628
charisma

[Anonymous No.14769632]

>>14769629

[Anonymous No.14769783]

>>14768267
I’ve been feeling similar. It seems that every interaction I have is off. They’re fragmented and amount to nothing. When thinking back I wonder, was that normal? Am I following social custom? I genuinely don’t know. I feel surrounded by confusion. I think the people I interact with feel similar to me. They don’t know what’s going on but continue trying to exist properly.
People my age talk in text messages, tweets and memes. I’ll share something about myself and get responses like, “bruh” and “It be like that sometimes”. Both things we’ve read on the internet countless times. These are small isolated phrases that aren’t used to make up a coherent sentence. You read them then scroll to the next meme. Conversation isn’t forwarded because these phrases are ends in themselves. The result is a stuttered conversation filled with dead space and no central topic that just sorta ends. No complex thought can be elucidated.

[Anonymous No.14769904]

>>14767931
I was about to make a post about the redemptive qualities of natural beauty. I suppose I still will.
Living in the big city gives you a clear idea how cancerous humanity really is. We've reached freakish levels of abundance and now we clog and choke every space with an infection of trash and concrete. I'm in a constant fugue state as my mind grapples with irreconcilable stimuli and a constant clash of conflicting signals.
Then all it takes is a step into natural surrounds, a hallowed cathedral of trees, a choir of songbirds, the warm buzz of crickets harmonizing some sequence of brain waves I never knew, for all to be corrected, clarified, redeemed.

I remember a road trip I took years back. The series of serendipitous moments of natural beauty were lined up without end. Stopping by an empty forested road at midnight, the fireflies blending with the perfect starry sky, as if they were star pieces fallen loose from the firmament. Or the chance baby fox darting across the road (god protect it!). Or a foggy mountain giving way to a spooky abandoned mountaintop resort and a vista revealing a sleepy town below. Endless material for artistic and literary inspiration pour out from the workings of the earth every moment of every day, a glut of abundance that defies reckoning.
Without natural beauty there are few pure goods worth living for. Everything else has a catch. Human beauty is harsh and laden with status and has a price to it, narcissistic self-regard. Natural beauty is truly free, available to all, with no exceptions,

[Anonymous No.14769934]

Can you be autistic but still be able to read body language and social situations extremely well? All interactions I have feel very mechanical. Lock eyes, talk, let eyes drift for a moment, lock eyes, smile, talk, let eyes drift, look at hand movements of other person explaining, lock eyes, talk, gesture with hands, realize I'm a few seconds overdue on looking away, look away, wonder if they noticed, etc etc. Social interactions are so fucking tiresome.

[Anonymous No.14769946]

>>14769628
I used to be the most charismatic guy in the room. I loved life and got lots of female attention (not that I knew what to do once I got it). Then halfway through high school I changed. While I could make someone laugh and appear interesting to people I didn’t know how to ask someone to hang out. I didn’t know how to exchange hopes and dreams with one another. I’d never done that before and I was way too shy to do so now. I realized others have been developing these social skills all their life while I just fed off their attention. These people lived different lives than me. They went to parties, played sports and had sex. From then on it was my natural assumption that people didn’t like me. Interactions weren’t a new opportunity, they were to be ended as quickly as possible so the other person could get on with their life away from me. The world became a scary place and I reacted accordingly. Where I was once filled with fire I became vacant. I blank expression always. Never talking unless talked too. I became a ghost. No one recognized my existence.
Of course this has only gotten worse with time. Though I could never go back and try to rescue my old charisma. I hate that person. I was a hedonistic attention whore. Knowing that those people don’t care about me makes it all an act. That whole relationship is stupid and sickening to me now.

[Anonymous No.14770106]

>>14758797
Anon, you still ITT?

[Anonymous No.14770138]

>>14769904
I want to go on a road trip with this based guy.

[Anonymous No.14770175]

>>14758797
There are ways to study philosophy outside of Philosophy departments. Language studies (German/Romance, e.g.), history of ideas and intellectual history (much more difficult because professional historians generally don't like philosophy and especially hate "history of ideas," but technically possible), and above all, history of science (and similar departments). Also comparative literature, and political theory/science departments if you're more politically/ethically inclined.

Shop around and talk to professors and grad students. Get a first-hand feel for things. Don't make decisions based on gut hunches.

For what it's worth, my """"job"""" is that I read philosophy all day and get to LARP that I matter and I'm living a monastic life of the mind, and I somehow still have semi-decent career prospects despite this self-indulgent bullshit. My case is by no means typical but it's at least possible.

[Anonymous No.14770240]

>>14769904
i wish i could the world as you do

[Anonymous No.14770271]

>>14763793
Cus its wrong

[Anonymous No.14770356]

>>14767931
Cope

[Anonymous No.14770433]

I want a word like nigger for white people. It just has that special omph, which words like 'cracker' and 'whitey' for example lack.

[Anonymous No.14770445]

>>14757585
Then cross a busy highway with your eyes closed and ears plugged or else you’re full of shit.
>never believe in a philosophy which the proponent himself doesn’t believe

[Anonymous No.14770470]

>>14769934
just stop overthinking and be yourself lol :)

[Anonymous No.14770477]

>>14757585
My oneitis got engaged two months ago to her childhood friend (a good friend of mine whom she wasn't dating previously) and neither of them ever told me. I literally caught her slipping up in conversation about being engaged and then had to confront her AND him when she deliberately avoided my questions. I don't think I'm angry. I think I feel really, really hollow and empty inside. I find it hard to talk to either of them right now. I wish I could graduate already so I could move cross country and make up excuses to stop talking to them, but running away is such a quitter cop-out coping mechanism, but facing the truth hurts so much, too.
Luckily, I'm using this as psychic fuel for my books and I've written some very good scenes, so at least something good has come out of it so far. Maybe if this keeps up I'll finish my third book before I leave college.

[Anonymous No.14770494]

>>14770470
>when someone tells you to just be yourself
>when you're nearly 30 years old, and have no idea who you are or what you want

[Anonymous No.14770512]

>>14770494
>>when you're nearly 30 years old, and have no idea who you are or what you want

[Anonymous No.14770516]

>>14763919
>virgin at 26
>she laughs at my jokes (Believe me I can tell when woman are just being polite and this is not the case)

i dont think you can bro, youre falling for the bait hardcore

[Anonymous No.14770539]

I wonder how much mental illnesses contributed to religion in the early days.

[Anonymous No.14770560]

>>14763866
Hot shit opinion coming through, and only in example scenarios.
>profound vs obvious
Profound carries an emotional meaning which drives a story forward. Obvious carries a meaning which only details the story.
>deep vs cringe
Deep is understanding and characterizing human emotions as you the author feel them. Cringe is when you attempt to justify those emotions, either to another character, an editor, or the reader. "This is WHY he's so angry!" vs "This is his anger". I think you can let the readers argue over emotional justification at that point.
>>14767812
Do you feel the same thing I do where some sections just feel like a collection of words and other sections feel like they were written by a genius? If so, I found my issue was that I was looking in all the wrong sections for my writing's "meaning", if that makes sense.

[Anonymous No.14770581]

Why does /lit/ love isms so much?

[Anonymous No.14770618]

>>14770356
My life is quite blessed with no complaints, I dont pick a pebbles to cope bruh, I pick it up because it makes a feel good. Maybe when you get there in life you will understand to appreciate the blessings you have received.

[Anonymous No.14770694]

>>14770445
nigga i levitate

[Anonymous No.14770706]

i sat a medical entrance exam today that largely depends on iq but i prepared for 6 months for good measure anyway, as it measures your logical reasoning/problem solving skills etc and you can sort of improve that

i feel like i didn't perform at my optimal/peak because i only got 3 hrs of sleep (couldn't go to sleep bcs of anxiety the night before)
i did really well on one section and meh on the other 2, definitely underperformed. my practice test average was around 90%ile but i feel like i got lower making silly mistakes despite the test being easier than practice exams

if i don't make it through i'm gonna kill myself, i can't live life as a midwit sucker who can't pass this shitty exam after 6 months of study when most people do well with only 2 or less

[Anonymous No.14770707]

>>14770618
Most people who cope don't realize they do so.

[Anonymous No.14770736]

>>14770706
Ah, the olde tale of the peasant who yearned to be king. In the end, he married the miller's daughter and took her anus.

[Anonymous No.14770796]

>>14770736
sucks especially when you're working hard as fuck and still can't cut through..

[Anonymous No.14770807]

It is very sad.
My language has no prose in it.
This is incredibly sad.

[Anonymous No.14770957]

The year is 2026. Stinking black apes walk the Earth. I awake inside my home; what was originally a charming two-story ranch style house has become my fortress. I have converted the entirety of the downstairs area into a simple and - I pray to god every day - well protected storage space. There are no windows, I must use cameras caged in a personally designed, sturdy mesh, which surround the property from elevated positions to check outside. The second floor is where I sleep, where I eat, where I bathe... where I survive this world.

You may be thinking, is this the last memoir of a survivor left to suffer until a lonely and painful demise? No. There are portions of the world still functioning, even untouched. There are communities left here too - scattered out on hot winds that bring the smell of Afro Sheen and Backwoods. The internet even still functions every few days a week; I spend a majority of my time there, there isn't much left to do but check the cameras, scavenge for food, and browse YouTube.

The effects of the Niggerocalypse were hardest on the internet, censorship, quality standards, and what little tact or subtlety was left before this catastrophe is gone now. "REACTING TO TYRONICUS REACTING TO JAMAL DYQUILLUS REACTING TO FUNGIRL2141 REACTING TO SOIMASTER15 REACTING TO THECRITICALBRIT REACTING TO ATHIESTSAVANT REACTING TO GOYMO REACTING TO KEKSIMILLIAN'S REACTION TO THE LAST CAT VIDEO REACTION COMPILATION EVER MADE." A brutal image plays, burning onto my retinas: the Slazarians, what we once knew as "Jewish people" no longer feel the need to hide their true forms to us, as all that is left are broken stragglers and the forgotten - not to exclude in mentioning the hordes shambling and skittering outside this home of mine. Coke-bottle glasses teeter atop a nose like a toucan, bulbous and pimply and shiny from grease; his hairline extended back to the crest of his skull, only a third of his head at the back and his sideburns held that curly, hay-thin black hair; his eyes were small, needle-like, and constantly red and gleaming - I don't know why that is; his gums and teeth project past the lips which need no longer stretch to hide them, like a braying horse. He laughs and laughs and laughs, cackling at the videos and reactions he's reacting too. His picture-in-picture is stacked atop several other Youtubers - who seem ancient now - all laughing and laughing and laughing to the same video. I wrap and twist my mind over this video often - what is he laughing at? I can't focus for even a moment to find a face in this cyclone of reactions, there's only a single digit percentage of the screen left to display the progenitor, the original video all the reactions came from. Why this video? What is funny about it? Why do they laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and lau

Ah. I see. I see it now. Can you see it? Come and see too. Ha. Ha. Ha.

[Anonymous No.14770986]

Why are picture books viewed as being meant for children? I feel like beautiful illustrations could really add to a story you're into.

[Anonymous No.14771008]

>>14770707
Hmm maybe your right

[Anonymous No.14771014]

>>14770957

[Anonymous No.14771030]

pussy

[Anonymous No.14771522]

>>14768628
goddamn this hit me hard

[Anonymous No.14771545]

>>14768650
>I look at my neighbours or whomever, and they’re, like “today I went to my job then I went to get shopping and I went to yoga then I met someone for coffee and then I came home and made dinner then I watched a movie and...”. Yada yada. I look at it all with such envy but I just couldn’t do it.
I feel the same way. It's hard to grasp, but I watched an interview with a girl who had no internal monologue. She said that she had to be constantly doing something to occupy her thoughts

[Anonymous No.14771574]

>>14769934
autism has a few more components than just social aversion. Do you have intense special interests? Repetitive behaviors? I get equally exhausted trying to interact with people, but that's because my constant daydreaming tires me out

[Anonymous No.14771589]

>>14770433
wincel

[Anonymous No.14771646]

>>14770706
MCAT? Everyone feels shitty directly after taking it but they end up doing fine with the curve. Just try to relax till the results come out.
> if i don't make it through i'm gonna kill myself, i can't live life as a midwit sucker who can't pass this shitty exam after 6 months of study when most people do well with only 2 or less
Tons of people retake it and end up getting into medical school and becoming successful physicians. If you're not resilient enough to deal with scoring below the 90th percentile, how will you handle the long road ahead and manage the lives of your patients?

[Anonymous No.14771683]

>>14770957
based

[Anonymous No.14772006]

>>14770957
You fucking retard ranch style houses are one story

[Anonymous No.14772023]

>>14769934
it comes with active practice. for me, my whole life has been revolved around understanding i got into evopsych and redpill to understand body language and social situations. i wouldn't recommend it, because at the end of the day, i'm just a mask.
it's all information, and body language is just as difficult, inexplainable even. there is more than just body language unavailable to us 'tists though; for example, look up 'the gervais principle according to the office', this is the language common at the other pole on the empathetic spectrum.
at least to me, there was a revelatory depth of words in normiespeak i hadn't considered. then again, i'm pretty middling and i haven't read or acculturated much semantics.

[Anonymous No.14772044]

This guy at college has been a passive aggressive bitch towards me for almost a year, completely baffling me as I’d done nothing wrong... turns out I hooked up with his girlfriend out of social obliviousness, others knew about it yet I was never confronted about it

[Anonymous No.14772055]

>>14769946
sounds like you have a bit of the autism, friend; you likely played the clown, or had another likeable factor.
come 10th grade, you couldn't keep up with a rapidly changing social environment (puberty transforms inter and intra gender dynamics.)and were left behind to dwell.

[Anonymous No.14772062]

>>14772044
What is it like to be inside a woman

[Anonymous No.14772073]

>>14772062
it’s nice and warm with pleasant feeling

[Anonymous No.14772111]

>>14772062
Disappointing. Most are far looser than you'd think, especially if you have "death grip" from years of jerking off and your penis has been trained to expect a nice snug fit. Women are also insufferable on a personal and spiritual level.

[Anonymous No.14772118]

>>14757585
It’s just some song. There are guitars, drums and a keyboard.

[Anonymous No.14772135]

>>14772111
based and checked. all women are whores

[Anonymous No.14772236]

>>14772111
>Women are also insufferable on a personal and spiritual level.
Wholeheartedly agree. If only I had been born gay.

[Anonymous No.14772273]

>>14770175
I already have a bachelor’s degree. I’m just looking to pursue a post-bacc and maybe a master’s part-time so I don’t know if I could do any of those.

[Anonymous No.14772275]

>>14770106
Yes

[Anonymous No.14772314]

>>14763919
holy fucking pathetic

[Anonymous No.14772315]

Why doesn't OP (you)'s feel as good as normal (you)'s?

[Anonymous No.14772320]

>>14765286
>not asserting dominance over your lazy boomer father

[Anonymous No.14772339]

>>14770433
you'll never get it because whites are cool, blacks drool.

[Anonymous No.14772349]

>>14770477
they think you're a obsessed weirdo, thus deliberately avoided telling you

[Anonymous No.14772355]

>>14770581
pseuds

[Anonymous No.14772368]

Is there a better feeling that having half the catalog of /lit/ open in tabs, and shitposting in them all?

[Anonymous No.14772374]

>>14772368
no

[Anonymous No.14772554]

>>14772315

[Anonymous No.14773041]

>>14771646
thing is, this is my second time taking it
so yeah, i've had enough

[Anonymous No.14773337]

>>14770957
are the slazarians using the cat video to take over the remaining human population? are they the ones keeping the internet running? what was the niggerocalypse? is this a vision of the future or a glimpse into a hellish world not unlike our own? how does the world function now and who all is really left that isn't a slazarian? did they cause all of this? hopefully in his next book he covers all of these

[Anonymous No.14773448]

>>14772236
>If only I had been born gay.
Peak /lit/ experience

[Anonymous No.14773507]

Where do I go to find a community of budding young bohemian literati? I want to spearhead the new avant garde and live among impassioned people (or at least get some easy pussy from vapid MFA types).

[Anonymous No.14773688]

>>14757663
Chill out, he's probably like 16 or something. We all wrote pseud shit when we were 16.

[Anonymous No.14773848]

>>14757866
Based. Reminds me of when my dudebro friend ran for student president and upset a bunch of girls who were all in the student council, and then he brought me and all my other friends into the fold so that we could eat otterpops and create bullshit bakesales during 6th period while the girls kept yelling at us to stop eating all their otterpops.

Based friend

[Anonymous No.14774046]

how do i stop one of my characters from becoming the *turns to reader and lectures* type person
re. effects of machines replacing workers
the whole story only spans a couple of weeks and takes place during a war so working age men are in short supply, but i want to include and justify the sentiment without le epic monologe

[Anonymous No.14774221]

>>14763919
Are you M. M.?

[Anonymous No.14774596]

>>14774221
What is M.M

[Anonymous No.14774652]

>>14774596
Marilyn Manson!

[Anonymous No.14774993]

I’m less than 100 pages into the Emily Wilson translation of The Odyssey, which I grabbed on a whim, and already there’s tons of writing about sexism and patriarchy. The author admits that she interpreted the original through the lens of our current political context and I’m wondering if I bought a garbage translation of this book. I searched online and there’s tons of stuff about the first translation by a woman which bravely challenges Homer’s misogyny and patriarchy. I just want a true-to-original translation of this fucking book. I’m seriously considering stopping and returning it for another translation.

[Anonymous No.14775099]

>>14773041
damn I'm sorry man. At least try one more time, but after three med schools don't take it well. Have you considered DO or does the thought of it make you want to kys?

[Anonymous No.14775139]

>>14772368
NO

[Anonymous No.14775181]

>see interesting effortpost or autismpost
>don't even agree with the poster, but it's still interesting
>see phoneposter/newfag/zoomer reply
>"Lol y u care so much"
>"Ummm k u type lots hehe that weird"
>"cope" [aka "I disagree in general"]

What does a phoneposter/newfag/zoomer's brain look like on the inside? I see effort or care and I automatically understand that, even if I disagree completely with the person, my disagreement is meaningless unless I actually engage with it. What is it like to see someone describing their passionate commitment to an epistemological crisis in theoretical physics and go ":S why he not rather be eating food than think write lot?" What is it like to read someone who has clearly watched all of Kubrick's movies explaining in detail why Kubrick is a genius, and because you've seen two Kubrick movies and didn't like them, your actual reply is "nh dnt gree"?

Why would you even bother sharing this non-information? This isn't a socially mediated chatroom. You aren't giving the guy a dislike or a "thumbs down." Nobody cares what you think unless there's substance to it. It's fine if it's done for laughs, like you reply to an effortpost with a tongue in cheek "ur fgt" that's fine, but I'm talking about people who you can obviously tell simply didn't like the post and all their addled brain could think to do was go "disgree. ur bad" like anyone gives a fuck.

What the hell is going on in there? Is it that their brain thinks in social media analogies? Do they just not know what discourse is or how conversations work?

[Anonymous No.14775203]

>>14769783
Fuck you put it into words so well. It's rare to find a person nowadays with who I can talk and hold a conversation with, because they will just spout back a sentence to me and that's it - end of the conversation. Also I feel like people don't hold strong opinions or are genuinely interested in niche things, which also makes it harder to converse. Ask anyone about their opinion on anything and they will answer with 'Yeah, I don't know, man' and won't put further thought into the question past that. Everything is just a reaction to what you see on your phone.

I used to feel the same way about being confused, but the key is not being sober - amphetamines are great because you won't have time to think about what and how the interaction went

[Anonymous No.14775226]

>>14757585
But how can your mind form a picture of nothingness?

[Anonymous No.14775232]

>>14775181
Lol y u care so much

[Anonymous No.14775315]

>>14775099
it wasn't the MCAT, it was the HPAT Ireland, which is probably more g-loaded than the MCAT besides the interpersonal understanding part
i don't know honestly, i might've done well, i just doubt myself too much

[Anonymous No.14775321]

>>14775181
cope

[Anonymous No.14775334]

>tfw 130 iq midwit
Is there any hope for me?

[Anonymous No.14775357]

>>14775226
Unconsciousness isnt nothingness

[Anonymous No.14775436]

>>14772368
bags of sand, desu

[Anonymous No.14775460]

>>14757585
There are very few things that make me happy anymore and it’s hard for me to see the point of life. I just wanna go live in some lodge in the mountains and be on my own, far away from everything so I can read, engage in matters of the spirit. I’ve read stories of people who withdrew from the world and had found earth-shattering insights about the world and spiritual revelations, so I really feel like following suit.

Assuming I live to an old age, let’s say 70, most of my life would otherwise be spent doing meaningless, unfulfilling things that will leave me feeling empty inside. I’d have 50+ years of doing useless, soulless bullshit and then die. Life for me has already become a series of repetitive activities for me and at the end of the day, when I’m by myself, I realize how empty I feel.

I want to do something new, discover something new, push the boundaries of my perception and physical limits. I want to live, to live life as though there is constant progression, bringing a new change in myself every day! I want my life to be an endless journey of discovery rather than what it is now. Maybe then, the void in my soul will fill

[Anonymous No.14775543]

>if a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to perceive it with their senses, then there is neither forest, nor tree, nor standing, nor falling, neither space nor time. the human mind is like a lantern that puts a faint circle of light into the night, or like a fishnet that covers an invisible person and marks his contours. a senseless space is empty.
this is the most reddit shit ever. In fact, the first time I ever read this was on Reddit almost a decade ago. Ridiculous. This is why humanities fags aren't taken seriously anymore.

[Anonymous No.14775595]

>start working out
>people tell me I look great
>start self studying to understand myself and the world better
>still feel dead inside
Why must it be like this? How do I get my brain to release the good stuff?

[Anonymous No.14775610]

>>14757585
pee pee poo poo doo doo,

more milkies mommy!

when chainlink moon!

corona 2 spooky mommy!

more chicken tendies!

[Anonymous No.14775625]

>>14775595
Post body pic?

[Anonymous No.14775633]

I haven’t eaten for a day and a half now. I want to feel what you feel. I know you were just telling a story, but I think you might have done this. Starved yourself. So now I want to, too. It does feel good, you’re right. Kind of head-rushy like that first cigarette slamming into the brain. I’m going to persevere. Just to feel anything you maybe might have. Just so I can feel you.

[Anonymous No.14775653]

>>14775334
No. You we forever struggle with things too difficult for us. When will we learn? Our only hope is being born with, or acquiring from the devil, intuitive artfulness. Midwits should listen to their heart.

[Anonymous No.14775662]

>>14775653
We will*

[Anonymous No.14775853]

>tfw you have a very basic understanding of a lot of topics, and people think you're intelligent because of it
People viewing you as intelligent when you're a midwit a most is so fucking shameful.

[Anonymous No.14775867]

>>14775633
Unless you're scrawny little fuccboi you're not gonna feel hunger the same as someone who is actually starving. Going a couple of weeks without food means absolutely nothing to someone if they've stored up a decent amount of fat beforehand. Take a look at https://www.sciencealert.com/the-true-story-of-a-man-who-survived-without-any-food-for-382-days for example.

[Anonymous No.14776091]

Both of my recent girlfriends have been younger than me. I've thought about how young I want to go. I feel like anything more than ten years younger would be really pervy. And I fully admit to being a pervert, I'd just rather not make it obvious outside of 4chan.

[Anonymous No.14776188]

>>14776091
My first and only girlfriend was exactly a week older than me. It was actually neat for some reason.

[Anonymous No.14776380]

>>14775181
Umm k u type lots hehe that weird

[Anonymous No.14776409]

Has anyone produced an aesthetic theory that explains why anime girls are so cute?

[Anonymous No.14776490]

>>14776409
Doesn't really need one, it's a combination of neoteny and your brain filling in details. Why do ugly people look better when they wear sunglasses? Because it's hiding a lot of the asymmetrical details and your mind is filling in a template symmetrical face. Every anime girl is idealized femininity, cutesiness with none of the allzumenschlich smudges and misalignments that make up a real 3DPD woman. Your unconscious mind interprets an anime girl as an archetypal pink-scented smear of feminine "cuteness" in itself, erupting into the plane of immanence otherwise occupied by stinky blob fleshwomen with tired eyes and obnoxious opinions.

[Anonymous No.14776527]

>>14776409
I'm more interested in why I always feel the need to fap to hentai after reading. The days where I don't read, I never feel the same urge, and just fap to 'normal' porn.

[Anonymous No.14776541]

>>14776409
The theory of trans-anime. Its one of the damaging combinations of anime fandom and failed male actualization. These men, often quite autistic end up getting no attention or acceptance at all from mainstream society. This is much worse for men because without the default minimum respect that women get there really is no bottom of lack of respect or notice. So here is where this weird shit comes in. The thing about women is that because of their biological nature, and position as reproductive bottlenecks of society, they will always have a certain level of value and furthermore can be loved and adored to an extreme degree just for being cute but actually doing nothing else. This makes failed men very jealous, because society and people will never value them if they are not able to actualize themselves as men which is a much more active process. They then begin to watch hundreds of hours of these anime's with these extremely cute little girls who exude immense amounts of spontaneous and effortless charisma to them and it becomes attractive. Add to this the fact that due to their autistic levels of social intuition, the normal intuition that they would never actually be able to accomplish this identity in their weird looking body fails to arrive and instead they latch on to this specific declarative statement about "trans women are women" when normal people would know better. Anyway the point is, if you think about it, the way that women are accepted and valued for aspects of being rather than aspects of doing like men, exemplified in the charisma of the genre of cute girl anime presents the perfect solution to all the problems faced by these men if only you can be autistic enough to think its possible to become one. Then tell me, is it not true that most of these trannies have anime girl avatars on twitter? The connection is impossible not to see when pointed out. Keep your eyes open.

[Anonymous No.14776640]

i just want to cuddle and take care of a girl

[Anonymous No.14776796]

>>14776409
May, Simon - The Power of Cute

[Anonymous No.14776837]

The only people I relate to are dead and buried writers, poets, and philosophers who I will never be able to speak to in this life. Praying that God has mercy on their souls and I can speak to them in the reign of His Kingdom.

[Anonymous No.14776843]

>>14776837
Should have mentioned I'm also praying for mercy on my own soul as well. Didn't mean to sound like a prideful cunt desu

[Anonymous No.14776852]

I just finished eating a quiche with spinach and goat cheese while shit posting. My girlfriend is already asleep. We don't fuck that much anymore.

[Anonymous No.14776864]

>>14776852
>We don't fuck that much anymore.
Why not?

[Anonymous No.14777041]

>>14776837
>poets
Fag

[Anonymous No.14777064]

>>14776837
Who specifically?

[Anonymous No.14777069]

>>14776864
She was reading journey to the end of the night when I met her in spring. We had known each other for three months, and fucked like ignorant rabbits, when she became pregnant. I was in my early twenties then and incapable of providing stability for a family. My father left my mother when I was three months old, my mother killed herself when I was seven; my childhood was far from perfect.
So, she asked me if I wanted to raise a child with her. The question of saying yes or no to life fucked me up good. She went back to France so I could ponder on my own. Some days after I woke up one night, feeling we would make it work. Our son is four now, doing great. We are also doing fine, we never managed to have a fight, we are too much alike (which brings it's own problems).
She was starting to get recognized as a fashion designer, giving sewing classes to pay the rent. But when our son was born she completely devoted herself to him, dropping all her other ambitions. It made me feel guilty. We both come from fucked up homes, and we do everything to make our son feel safe at home. But she does a better job than i could ever do. There is a sense of guilt that i cannot fucking get rid of when we fuck. Sometimes she starts to kiss me and I feel ashamed, wanting to disappear thus making her sad thus making me want to disappear even more and so on. Pathetic, fuck I don't know why anon. Last week she started drawing again, seeing her work again made me cry like a bitch.

[Anonymous No.14777163]

>>14776490
Makes sense, but why has the style only emerged in the last forty or so years? Is it a cultural response that’s elevated the importance of cute where before other forms of beauty dominated?

[Anonymous No.14777228]

>>14777069
be a proud man for your boy

[Anonymous No.14777465]

>>14776409
Simply: the designs remind you of children, and as such, innocence and purity. Even a yandere type character, who acts violently and psychotically, is motivated by naive and childlike intentions (as revealed partly through story, but mostly encoded visually) which is why they still register as cute in spite of their actions.

[Anonymous No.14777492]

>>14777465
>>14776409

This is why having a waifu is so unhealthy. Not because it turns you into a pedophile (in the same way that an unresolved oedipus complex doesn't make you literally want to fuck your own mother) but because it infantilizes you in the process, and makes you squeamish to the ugly realities of the adult woman. As >>14776490 pointed out, you don't have the imperfections that a real woman has, the impurity or the loss of innocence.

[Anonymous No.14777578]

I must have jacked off like 6 times today. Being a coomer isn't that bad as they make it out to be. I'll get some sleep and do the same as I did today.

[Anonymous No.14777613]

im a retarded uppermiddleclass louse. my brother is successful and i try not to resent him for it. my family sees me for what i am. i work dead end jobs for a few months at a time but the social pressure always ends up making me quit. i don't handle people well. i have poor social skills and this above anything else i think is holding me back in the working world. today i moved from bed to kitchen to couch back and forth since i woke up. before going to sleep i will spend 2-6 hours in bed mindlessly shitposting and maybe read for 30 minutes.

[Anonymous No.14777640]

You’re not a true autist until you have encyclopedic knowledge of at least one sport
“Le sportsball” is a cope for physically challenged retards

[Anonymous No.14777889]

>>14777069
This is all unresolved trauma to do with your mother. You need to go talk to someone.

[Anonymous No.14777939]

>>14777640
I come from a family of sports fans. I don't even have an encyclopedic knowledge of football, but I know enough about it that when I start talking at length about teams, players, the state of the NFL, the rules, and various schemes and strategies, people look at me like I have an extra head. I don't understand how you can call yourself a fan of a sport and not delve into its tiny details.

[Anonymous No.14777981]

One thing that really cuts me to the bone is the transience of "truth feeling". At certain moments I feel a surge of ultimate truth, which blind-sides and bowls over all other realities. At such a time I feel as though I am blessed and beloved by the cosmos. I am an unstoppable paladin at such moments, hammering away filthy oil demons left and right, with God's almighty Truth sourcing through every vein in a burning, lovely light.
Then it passes. I'm another asshole on the street. Nothing special to see here, no earthshaking open warfare against accepted truths. Move along.
Yet why should I care about pristine abs or bank rolls when I am waging a winning battle against fundamental assumptions driving the entirety of civilization? This is Stirner's entire conceit. If it is within an individual intellect's supreme power to re-derive the whole ontology of existence, why shouldn't that individual be permitted to amend the draft?
There are so many ways to dive into this. All I know is in the intellect is Godhood.

[Anonymous No.14778024]

My great sorrow is that I feel that I live in an anti-poetic age. Poets are hunted out and exterminated. They are driven from the earth; hated and feared, there is an uncoined term for phobia of poets. Poets are viewed with fear and suspicion. This beautiful and transcendent state of humanity has been passed off for a fad. I see it in the slithering excuses for humans I sometimes interact with: any attempt at wit, any attempt at IMAGINATION, is viewed with scorn if not fear. The deep sickness of this culture is that imagination is viewed as an illness; when truly it is imagination is the precious weightless eternal thing that puts us above everything else for all time.

I am insulted and disturbed that no one has the audacity to believe wild dreams, to luxuriate in toxic insanity with the faith that some gemlike truth might bubble up from its excavations, in the same way gems are dredged from the muck of the earth.
Everyone everywhere could help solve fundamental problems if they just delved into their IMAGINATION. Fuck you if you think I sound like Willy Wonka

[Anonymous No.14778046]

I don’t even look at my college friends’ social media shit anymore, much less speak or hang out with them. We’re basically strangers now. Promising to keep in touch with people is such a fucking meme, no one will admit it but people will drop their closest friends like a rock if it becomes inconvenient to meet with them. Feels bad man.

[Anonymous No.14778131]

By debating your OWN THOUGHTS AND VALUES you do war with the entirety of social existence. Because it is part of the same web, a node in the same network. The fear-response that bubbles up from testing these reflexive values is by design. And there is no single oppressor, it is GENERAL HUMAN TENDENCY to weave ourselves into ant colonies. West or east, this religion or that, a true power wash of diamond perception would scrape away this facade and reveal the same activity in all cases. True perception eradicates: burns away illusion. Perception is sometimes a destructive act rather than a acquisitive act.
Do I make sense? Do I not make sense? It doesn't matter. That's the beauty of it. I want everyone to push in every direction, to take nothing for granted, to disregard the past, to give everyone and everything the benefit of the doubt while damning everyone and everything to one great sickness.
This great weight of assumption, of consensus gentium, is such a figment! Social media, statistical trend analysis, this that or the other thing! Please destroy it all O obscure Indian subcontinent demon-god!

[Anonymous No.14778145]

>>14778131
>By debating your OWN THOUGHTS AND VALUES you do war with the entirety of social existence. Because it is part of the same web, a node in the same network. The fear-response that bubbles up from testing these reflexive values is by design. And there is no single oppressor, it is GENERAL HUMAN TENDENCY to weave ourselves into ant colonies. West or east, this religion or that, a true power wash of diamond perception would scrape away this facade and reveal the same activity in all cases. True perception eradicates: burns away illusion. Perception is sometimes a destructive act rather than a acquisitive act.
high quality post

>Do I make sense? Do I not make sense? It doesn't matter. That's the beauty of it. I want everyone to push in every direction, to take nothing for granted, to disregard the past, to give everyone and everything the benefit of the doubt while damning everyone and everything to one great sickness.
zarathustrean nonsense

[Anonymous No.14778179]

There are countless ways to approach the infinitely sided object that is reality. The beauty of being a writer is one's imperfection. If a single sentence (or equation) could sum it all up, if you didn't always fail, there would be nothing left to do. In some reverted sense then failure is the handmaiden of success.

[Anonymous No.14778187]

>>14778145
>zarathustrean nonsense
That's the whole point my nig. Nitchee wanted the new century to be a renaissance era in which everything was up for grabs, because everything was up for grabs.

[Anonymous No.14778217]

>>14761666
Don't do this! It is bound to have negative effects.

[Anonymous No.14778419]

>>14778145
Camel -> Lion -> Child
Lion > Child > Camel

[Anonymous No.14778465]

>>14761666
It happens to me as well, but with the phrase:
>Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. What profit has a man of all his labors?
Not even remotely religious but the phrase sometimes gets stuck in my mind when I'm returning home and I have a similar experience as yours.

[Anonymous No.14778540]

Post your diary entries people

[Anonymous No.14778599]

I woke up with an unbearable realization: that noble soul is gone! I used to have dignity, I used to be pure, to be noble; All is gone! What remains is a wretched lost soul floundering in his blindness! Whenever I made a decision, I remember I remained by it no matter what. This holds no longer true. Where has that impeccable will gone? For all the flaws I had, I recall I held myself with pride. Where has that nobility gone? Why has it left? Have I tainted myself with the mediocrity from without? Have I sold my soul in the promise of something that I may never get and may never like? I tell myself that I have only moved forward, but memory tells otherwise!

[Anonymous No.14778604]

>>14757585
Right now I can't decide if my need to shit is more urgent than my desire to fap.

[Anonymous No.14778630]

>>14778599
The "Noble soul" is an illusion. You were never pure; only Naive. It is only when we sink to the level of reality that we are capable of that true actualization can occur.

[Anonymous No.14778821]

>>14778630
I'm afraid you might be right. When I compare the way I thought of myself with they way I actually behaved, the two are clearly at odds. Nevertheless, the "illusion" gave me the will power and forced me to do things I could never do today. Even if it was an illusion, it gave itself reality exactly the same way my "reality of mediocrity" does today.

[Anonymous No.14778900]

>>14778599
now you see you were once a beast of burden you might choose to be a predator and thief, say No to duty and moral law, come out the other end something nobler

[Anonymous No.14779018]

Friendly reminder that men can only have fulfilling relationships with other men. Embrace the cock (literally)

[Anonymous No.14779123]

>>14778540
Its just pathetic rambling

[Anonymous No.14779171]

Leo Strauss says you should read good books, avoid bad (similar to what Schope said). But how do you determine one is good v. bad without reading it? Strauss also says you must understand a thing before you can refute it.

[Anonymous No.14779191]

>>14779171
You don't need to refute everything to know it's bad; There are telltale signs that help you know it before hand (though I find it hard to mention them all right now). Aside from this, a good way of doing this is recommendations from authors you already know are good.

[Anonymous No.14779213]

>>14778419
kek

[Anonymous No.14779324]

>>14757585
I’m tired of being high all the time. It’s dulled my senses so much so that I rarely, if ever, derive any joy from participating in life and all it’s tedium. I just saw one of my all time favorite entertainers live in person for the first time ever and I couldn’t have cared less. I can’t stand the idea of have to live the rest of my life if I can’t get even slightly excited about the things in it that are meant to be enjoyed. I found spirituality at one point a few years ago, but that feeling of closeness and clarity has all but vanished and I am desperate to get it back. I was ready and willing, man. Steeped in anticipation, waiting to see what this new perspective and experience would have in store for me. But as I continued on that path and learned more and more about what it was to be part of modern society, an average American citizen, it became more and more difficult to hold onto these beliefs and put them into practice. Humans weren’t meant to live this way. How could one possibly sustain any semblance of spiritual acuity in a world where charlatans have perverted and monetized every aspect of the human experience? Is the system rigged to make pariahs out of persons like myself? I want so badly to believe that I can get back to that place. Back when I was determined and had resolved to share what I had to say with those who would listen to me. But I’m inclined to believe that I would just be casting pearls before swine. The truly important things in life, true wisdom, are things that need to be experienced and arrived at independently. Drugs helped, but I wonder if I flew too close to the sun.

[Anonymous No.14779342]

I only had soup last night. I didn't want to because I wanted to be hungry like you, but it overwhelmed me. Only soup. As I ate it, I thought of you. It was so delicious. Each little spoonful filling my mouth with memories of you. It was like eating you, and it nourished me just like you do.

[Anonymous No.14779437]

I feel like I am marked some way as being inherently ugly, and beyond that morally bankrupt. I am afraid to let my guard down or be myself because I feel the self that naturally shines through is critical and self centered in a way that - rightfully - only alienates. I feel like this is only the tip of the iceberg. I feel that whoever truly knows me sees I am something if not evil profoundly weak. It is hard to shake this feeling. My social life is empty because of it. I have only working associates. I have to put in so much effort to not be somehow contemptible, and even then I get this awful feeling the truth still slips through and people know it and feel it.

[Anonymous No.14779521]

>>14779437
You sound like an edgy teenager trying to be deep. Please stop.

[Anonymous No.14779555]

>>14779521
>Please stop
I wish I could. I am much older than a teenager unfortunately. I don't mean to romanticize. I am a deeply unhappy person aware that I alienate people without trying, and afraid that there is something in me inherently and irrevocably repulsive.

[Anonymous No.14779576]

I live in Lovecraftian nightmare... even now I can hear those unnameable asiatics burping, chattering and spitting outside my window... such is the reality of Innsmouth (melbourne university)

[Anonymous No.14779603]

>>14779555
You push people away because you hold those beliefs rather than them being true.

[Anonymous No.14779849]

>>14779603
Not him, but that’s just all wrong. Deep and abiding senses of inadequacy and self loathing are usually associated with long term anxiety disorders. Over time, if you have old traumas or untreated anxiety, you can develop ‘coping’ mechanisms in the form of disordered psychic schemas that basically tell you you’re shit and repulsive. It’s a way to basically avoid perceived trauma and is largely uncontrollable and often debilitating (as he says) without the right treatment.

Not saying he has it, but just take your foot off the throttle there, young keyboard warrior.

[Anonymous No.14779855]

>>14779849
So what you're saying is that he has problems because he hold those beliefs, and not because they're true.

[Anonymous No.14779885]

>>14779855
Correct. They are not true, but like I say, they can be deeply crippling. Especially if it’s gone on a long time. The more you’ve ‘coped’ the more ingrained it gets to the point you think ‘ok, this is just me’.

I had this and got treated. Took almost two years of schema therapy but it’s mostly in remission now. It fucks up everything - your relationships, your career, even how you look at yourself in the mirror. I was just lucky because I got diagnosed by a really brilliant psychiatrist. All my life I got told it’s depression, it’s BPD, its this, it’s that. All wrong. I got beaten up as a baby by my mother and other people so over a long time this all knocked on and this ‘coping’ voice infiltrated.

It’s really fucking terrible. I have a lot of sympathy if he has that. If he does (or anyone suspects they might) speak to a psychologist who specialises in schema therapy. Best decision I ever made. Never been happier.

[Anonymous No.14779898]

>>14779885
>Correct.
Good. Now delete your replies because you just argued against something you just stated you agree with.

[Anonymous No.14779902]

>>14779898
no u

[Anonymous No.14780170]

>>14778900
While it is true that we all exist on illusions, it sounds to me like your imagined self was untenable, which is why you aren't able to maintain it now. I say this because I experienced much of what you say. In my case it was tiring always trying to be that self and eventually I collapsed. I'm still trying to dig myself out financially. It was a valuable lesson though. I realized if I kept stubbornly trying to attain that ideal, I'm bound to swing between periods of 'attaining' said ideal and collapsing into exhaustion. Currently I'm trying to construct a version of myself that is sustainable while also in line with my goals.

[Anonymous No.14780175]

>>14780170
Sorry, meant for >>14778821

[Anonymous No.14780757]

13:22
Drinking camomile and apple tea, with a little bit of sugar. I feel a bit tired from the night before; those edibles were really strong. My head is light and I pretend to sleep as much as possible after finishing my tea - now I realize I don't like sugar on it - to wake up feeling new and ready for another night, this one fuelled by cocaine, nicotine and booze. After tomorrow I will go sober for a few weeks, exercise and eat healthy everyday and then try some large dose of ayhuasca. Nothing will be the same, I guess.