/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.14687212]

>be me
>mid-20s
>live out innawoods
>unhappy cause no friends
>live life on repeat
>do the same old same old with no end in sight
>feel trapped
>gather huge urge to change my life
>move to city
>realize I’m still unhappy cause living in a city sucks
>still struggle to make friends
>make a couple
>can’t stand them and push them away
>somehow get a gf through Tinder
>fuckitup.jpg
>finally move back home
>tfw no friends and no gf
>slowly become more depressed than I’ve ever been
>think about suicide daily
>go to doctor for help
>therapy
>drugs
>church
>nothingworks.png
>read books
>read the bible
>learn metaphysics
>lift religiously
>eat the healthiest diet possible
>still depressed
>still can’t stand people
>hate life
>love myself but feel broken and not made for society
>slowly losing grip on reality
/lit/, I’m at my wits end. I’m out of books to read. Nothing is helping. Life is crushing me. How do I get out this? How do I unfuck myself?

Please, just throw books at me and I will read anything. I’m desperate to find something or some way to change who I am. The best professionals around couldn’t help. My family can’t help. You guys at least have given my a lot of smiles over the years. Please, anything. I don’t want to die.

[Anonymous No.14687227]

Take the goldpill and stop browsing plebbit

[Anonymous No.14687242]

>>14687212
Have you tried writing? I know that if I am not creating I am in despair

[Anonymous No.14687258]

>>14687227
Neurotypical privelege (the only real type of privilege)

[Anonymous No.14687317]

>>14687212
>church
>read books
>read the bible
>learn metaphysics

You seem perfectly made for society in that you've wholly given yourself up to the idea pushed by the elites that life is a game you can win or fail and that the world revolves around your happiness. Going to church should not even slightly be in the same category as going to the doctor. You're confused, but at least you're not self-hating; if you think you're "out of books to read", then you can try taking the wisdom in them to heart for once, and not simply for your own masturbatory sake.

[Anonymous No.14687324]

>>14687212
read my favourite story ever, or listen to it... it is really amazing. we all need to get back to our child spirits. here is a door https://youtu.be/7E6uQoMnT5E
http://ascentofhumanity.com/text/
the spell of the sensuous david abram
i really want to live in the woods... i jus stay indoors all the time because i dont want to see anyone.. the woods are peaceful

[Anonymous No.14687333]

>>14687317
this is very judgmental and critical when i honestly dont see how, just from the OP, you can feel confident in your accuracy of perception of them.
sigh.

[Anonymous No.14687365]

>>14687212
>I’m desperate to find something or some way to change who I am.
This is your problem. Your self is at variance with the self you wish you were. You’re not even living your life, you’re trying to escape. Read Sickness Unto Death. You cannot be anything but your self, but you can act as if you’re not who you ought to be for a lifetime

[Anonymous No.14687392]

>>14687333
Look through OP's post again and see how ego-centric it reads. A fear of being critical will lead you nowhere.

[Anonymous No.14687416]

>>14687212
i think you'll enjoy the audiobook... listening to stories being told to us can be really therapeutic..
with you, anon. You just need to put some distance and time between you and those thoughts. I got out of them, i can hopefully help show you the way, but just know the way is there so don't give up
i'll look for more audibooks for you- definitely give the first one a try today/tonight, though

[Anonymous No.14687426]

>>14687392
it's just pointless and unconstructive
i think there is a time and a place
and energy should be conserved.

[Anonymous No.14687435]

>>14687212
just stop being a bitch.

[Anonymous No.14687439]

>>14687392
just kinda pointless and nonconstructive
i think there is a time and a place
and energy should be conserved.

[Anonymous No.14687451]

>>14687212
The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts

[Anonymous No.14687453]

>>14687317
I’m a right wing asshole who struggles bowing to authority yet fails to assert himself out of fear of hurting others. My mind tells me I’m lonely. It screams at me to do something other than sit silence by myself at night. I’ve listened to it, and it lies. I meet people and it whispers: “you don’t like them, these people are below you, they don’t understand, you’re going to hurt them, you are dangerous.” Fight as much as I will yet I’ve lost every time. >>14687365
I don’t understand. Why do I crave companionship so badly if it’s something that never seems to work? Why does my mind lie to me? It feels like I’m trapped in a prison with no way out, even though I can see the light. Crawl, jump, climb as much as I will and watch it ever remain out of my reach. It’s a cruel trick which deceived me at every turn.

[Anonymous No.14687461]

>>14687212
Devote your life to charity and help others who need it.

[Anonymous No.14687530]

>>14687453
you literally just need a "tyler durden" figure in your life.

[Anonymous No.14687584]

>>14687212
these books helped me a lot:
Kurt Vonnegut - If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: Advice to the Young
its short, you can give it a try

Brothers Karamazov, especially Aljoša

[Anonymous No.14687591]

>>14687439
Being concerned with whether something is "constructive" or not falls into the same category as that which I was talking about. Ask not whether something is constructive, but whether it is Good. "What is Good?" Already a more important debate emerges than mapping game theory onto ethics. Self-help is nonconstructive in every instance.
>>14687453
Friend, if it is any consultation, I can assure you that you are not alone in these feelings.
The mind is a silly thing, really, it will deceive us every day; there is hope, however, that shows itself in the consistency of things; we know at least that not everything ought be mistrusted. I hope you can find it in you to focus on these transcendent things. Like >>14687461, I think charity is one of these things. Charity is higher than whatever particular feelings you may have for people in any given moment.
You express yourself in writing well and say you eat and exercise well; you can make an inspirational figure to someone someday.

[Anonymous No.14688332]

>>14687212
Trust me anon, you'll want to read this

https://estudantedavedanta.net/Eight-Upanisads-Vol-1.pdf
https://estudantedavedanta.net/Eight-Upanisads-vol2.pdf

[Anonymous No.14688458]

>>14687212
Get saved, anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDEBz25lGdY