Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.14584275]

life is a sandbox game. colourful actions on an empty and unmoving screen. there are lots of things to do, lots of thoughts to be had. people get together and create stuff. sometimes this stuff is philosophy. they do it because they enjoy it, one way or another; be it the most fun thing or the least bad thing. other people walk by and get interested in what they see; some are interested in the stormcasters, some in the ironclawz, some in the searchlight brigade, some in the moonlovers. everyone wants to have a good time and everyone has a slightly different conception of what a good time is. but what is important is not to get bored. the boring is far worse than the bad; atleast to our mind. it repels us far stronger than brutality. the grey mundane is the death of joy, whereas in brutality there is a joy of death. it makes sense: games are a pastime; a pastime is supposed to be the opposite of boring, interesting; life is a game, a pastime; therefore the fundamental principal of assessing the value of life is the interestingness of the sum of the things that we are and do, regardless of rightness and wrongness, badness or goodness, beauty or ugliness: the scale which measures our existence is: excitement or dullness. a thought can be wrong, bad and ugly: as long as it is exciting, it has value; only then it is a thing which we can live for. this is the game principal, the fundamental theatric of human existence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq7KEqVqguM

[Anonymous No.14584289]

After isolating myself from people for 4 years I find it hard to do normal things. There is a noticeable delay in my reaction to people asking me questions, I feel slower, and I have memories of before when I used to be pretty funny but I don't even know how to joke anymore. I think I have made myself retarded.

[Anonymous No.14584537]

I've never been in love. I wonder if that experience would make me relate to book characters in different way.

[Anonymous No.14584632]

I have been thinking a lot about the limitations on the traditional generational structure, and how the proliferation of the 'oomer memes seems to signal to me the end of this kind of thinking being able to meaningfully capture a useful image of reality anymore.
There appears to me to be both a radical flatness, a stasis, to our culture, one that is concurrent with total acceleration. A meaningless acceleration, wheels spinning on the spot.
To give an example, think of the Zoomer generation in the most orthodox non-meme way. It is generally defined as something like 96-2012. So it encompasses people in their early 20's, teenagers, and most children kids. But when you think about the rate of culture production, and the proliferation of memes and cultural artefacts do you think a time span that great is useful? The oldest Millennials are about 40, the youngest approaching 30, even that is too wide of a gap. But today how could one possibly imagine a feeling of generational solidarity could exist between a 22 year old and a 13 year old? The gap is too big, the 22 year old has experienced so many transient ultra-context-specific defining moments that the 13 year old never well. And as the 13 year old matures and has their own rites of passages and defining moments, it will be set to different soundtrack, a different theme and variation, with the stars that defined the 22 already passing beneath the horizon. They will both seem like ancient history to today's 8 year old.

At the same time many people make comment on how culture seems to be on repeat. School simulates the feeling of experiencing "history" on a micro scale, but once you graduate and leave everything seems to freeze. You meet people from all different age groups and they talk about all the same things as you and your friends except maybe they are a version ahead or behind you. Everything begins to feel like an endless repeat with slight variations, everything has been said and done and all that is left is not to maintain it but put a different hat on it and sell it to kids as new, since they are too young to know better. Although it isn't just the kids that are fooled, because people formulate or attach identity around units of culture consumed during pivotal life moments you get older people swept up in the charade too.

I wish I could articulate it better but it is like watching intense superficial change on the surface of water while the water underneath remains calm. Or the shadows shifting on the ground cast by a sundial. Yeah the shadows move over the course of the day but it is still the same fucking rock.

[Anonymous No.14584794]

>tfw /lit/ and/or warosu jannies have STILL not fixed the search function on the motherfucking archive

[Anonymous No.14584798]

I've just about had it with my wagie job and I'm about to snap.

[Anonymous No.14584825]

>>14584798
Gonna quit?

[Anonymous No.14584843]

>>14584825
Probably.
I've been thinking of going to work and just before going in flipping a coin on whether I go back home or go to work.

I need a different job badly, thinking of going into trades but I get so distracted I can't figure out what I want to do or where to get the training.

Current job is easy as shit but mind numbing.

[Anonymous No.14585119]

>>14584632
Generational categories have been long misused in how bunk pop-psychological profiling became synthesized with useful, statistical groupings that do in fact describe universals between people of a certain age group. General lving conditions, how generations impact other generations economically, population growth: these things are still useful. Treading past that, you have the old boomer memes, mocking the fact that even millenials have characteristics thought to have been exclusive to boomers. In other words, I think you're right, but what you're sensing is the bunk psycho-pop stuff that became popular in the 2000s. Maybe these memes will divorce the synthesis, but 'literally me' kind of 'oomer memes make me skeptical. But even those are fading/being mocked.

[Anonymous No.14585132]

>>14584632
Also, to your question
>how could one possibly imagine a feeling of generational solidarity could exist between a 22 year old and a 13 year old?
growing up with the internet.

[Anonymous No.14585219]

I think I've fallen in love. /lit/ books about characters falling in love in a non-faggy manner?

[Anonymous No.14585257]

>>14584289
Are you sure your prolonged social isolation is in fact the cause for your new found "social awkwardness". Mightn't it be instead a projection of the results you expected from the period of isolation upon the interactions? For example, if you were able to trick yourself into thinking you hadn't been isolated for 4 years would these interactions still look the same?

Btw, could you elaborate on these 4 years. In what way were you isolated?

[Anonymous No.14585315]

>watching porn
>the porn has a little plot/premise
>constantly betrays that premise in jarring, chaotic ways
>for example, the premise is that's POV video roleplaying that you are physically present (the camera is your POV)
>randomly, the girl will say "I bet you wish you were here," or otherwise say things that imply the viewer is not there
>the director doesn't stop this

Am I wrong that this is how a normie's mind works? Just complete indifference to maintaining and "working within" a steady gestalt of context, with a different set of rules? They routinely mix actions that imply a different gestalt, in ways that are really jarring, like a bad musician suddenly playing a bunch of flat notes in the middle of a symphony. Those flat notes aren't simply minor derivations from the main show, they jar you right out of viewing the music as a universal with atemporal form into viewing it as a messy blob of particular, empirical sounds performed by stupid humans who can't even read the notes properly.

If it's so jarring to me, why don't they notice it and stop it? Why doesn't the director stop it? Is this why normies seem to shift the ground they're standing on and say mutually contradictory things two seconds apart, without caring? Are they not trying to tie the things they're thinking about together into a self-consistent whole in the process of communication? Are they ad-libbing straight from the unconscious in everything they do?

[Anonymous No.14585330]

>>14585315
It's a porno, you dipshit. Do you wish you were there or not?

[Anonymous No.14585371]

>>14585330
You are conflating two different things. There's the empirical question of whether I was bothered by the particular thing I was watching not being very good, and then there's the question I was asking, which is how a mind could generate such contradictory nonsense and not care about doing so (especially in the director's case since it's his product and presumably he wants it to be good).

The fact that you can't distinguish between the two is further evidence of what I'm talking about. What was it like to read my post, for you? Do you just see a mushy haze of words and statements, but you're totally indifferent to whether they hang together in a single self-consistent whole, and then you likewise build up a mushy blob of possible responses in your mind until you have some vague impulse to say something?

Like, did you just see
>porno.. it's about porno...
>guy sure wrote a lot of words here....
>he's... upset... feeling the bad emotions.... what do i feel about others feeling upset....
>upset about.... porno???
>don't like that... don't get upset about porno....
>upset = bad, porno = small thing..... my expert opinion on Upset about Small Thing is "Don't get upset about small thing"
>time to post
>"Bro, it's just a porno. Don't get upset over such a small thing."

Granted, but that wasn't my point. Do you see now what I mean by indifference to the gestalt? You created your own, new, non sequitur gestalt out of thin air.

[Anonymous No.14585483]

>>14585371
What I mean is that an actress in a short and probably low budget porn film breaking the fourth wall is hardly a good jumping off point for understanding the psyche of "normies" or whatever. You will obviously disagree with this based on some prejudice you have about society, how the average person must think, and how you are different from that average person. The producer doesn't care, he will make money from a video of a blowjob regardless of whether the POV conceit is seen through in its fullest. The actress doesn't care for similar reasons. Most of the audience won't care; a prospective viewer might even be watching the video with the sound off while his wife is asleep in the next room. I would say you're overthinking this whole thing, but that would just send you into another greentext conniption about how I can't distinguish your crystal clear gestalt from my muddy fabricated one.

Really though, do you wish you were there or not?

[Anonymous No.14585521]

>>14585483
The producer does care, because he's meticulously putting bizarre amounts of effort into other aspects of the production and it's clearly a hobby for him. Which is why I find it so weird that he can't see the obvious glaring problems right in front of his face.

It's similar to a huge budget movie having a character speak a line in the wrong cadence. This isn't something that would have taken a lot of time or money to fix. It's not a systemic issue of the auteur screenwriter having a vision that didn't pan out. It's an issue of someone saying "That's MY son" instead of "That's my SON!" and changing the entire meaning of a scene, and somehow, none of the other actors in the scene, nor the director, nor the producers, nor the other fifty production people hanging around while that scene was shot, nor the people in editing and post-production, said "huh, I think the point of that line wasn't to emphasize the possessive, so the way he spoke the line sort of changes the meaning."

If I make this criticism and someone replies "bro just enjoy the movie, did it hurt the movie all that much?" my answer is that that's a different question, because what is bothering me is how a 500-million dollar cybernetic edifice filled with 4000 people could have missed such a simple thing that I would honestly imagine a child would notice.

It's not about caring or noticing. If someone tells me to act as if I'm interested in purchasing a doughnut for $5, I might be lazy, I might say lazy shit like
>Yo uh.. can I get a doughnut.
>Yeah I'm, I'm here to get a doughnut, I guess.
etc. But I won't randomly say shit that doesn't even fit the context like a schizophrenic.

>The actress doesn't care for similar reasons. Most of the audience won't care;
That's exactly what I'm interested in. It's like you're telling me the audience of a symphony doesn't care if 20% of the notes are flat because the other 80% are fine. But bad parts spoil the whole. If it's true that people are indifferent to that, then it's true that other people are thinking in a surprisingly different way from what I would expect of anyone (including a child like I said).

Please, don't respond again. At first I thought it was unlikely that we'd have a meeting of minds but now I'm increasingly scared that whatever is wrong with your mind is psychically contagious and I'm suddenly going to start seeing things your way, like an animal or a baby.

[Anonymous No.14585660]

>>14585521
Catch this brain virus, you dumb bitch. Comparing a a few off lines in a porno to a fifth of the notes in a symphony being out of tune is completely laughable. What is porn for, really? Is the plot of it that important to you? Again, I think you're starting from your idea that "normies" think in this or that inferior way and are finding evidence for that wherever you might look. People do not watch porn for verisimilitude, nor do they watch superhero movies for great writing and acting. In making a big deal out of these things, you're misunderstanding what they're for in the first place.

[Anonymous No.14585824]

>>14585660
You should reread your Aristotle. The formal structure of any narrative is exactly that, formal structure. It is part of the definition of narrative, and does not somehow become optional if some particular narrative is only for cheap entertainment. It's like you're saying "bro this car is really cheap, it doesn't matter if it has only two wheels!" Yes, even the cheapest car should have four wheels, my nigga. You can skimp on a lot, but you can't skimp on something that is part of the formal, essential, definitional structure of "car."

>As then in the other arts of representation a single representation means a representation of a single object, so too the plot being a representation of a piece of action must represent a single piece of action and the whole of it; and the component incidents must be so arranged that if one of them be transposed or removed, the unity of the whole is dislocated and destroyed. For if the presence or absence of a thing makes no visible difference, then it is not an integral part of the whole. What we have said already makes it further clear that a poet's object is not to tell what actually happened but what could and would happen either probably or inevitably. ... For this reason poetry is something more scientific and serious than history, because poetry tends to give general truths while history gives particular facts. By a "general truth" I mean the sort of thing that a certain type of man will do or say either probably or necessarily. ... Of "simple" plots and actions the worst are those which are "episodic." By this I mean a plot in which the episodes do not follow each other probably or inevitably. Bad poets write such plays because they cannot help it, and good poets write them to please the actors. Writing as they do for competition, they often strain a plot beyond its capacity and are thus obliged to sacrifice continuity. But this is bad work ...
>[Regarding archetypal characters in narrative fiction,] characters should be appropriate [i.e. to their archetype]. A character may be manly, but it is not appropriate for a woman to be manly or clever. ... [Moreover, character] should be "like" [ὅμοιον, i.e. to their archetype]. ... [Moreover], it should be consistent. Even if the original be inconsistent and offers such a character to the poet for representation, still he must be consistently inconsistent. ... In character-drawing just as much as in the arrangement of the incidents one should always seek what is inevitable or probable, so as to make it inevitable or probable that such and such a person should say or do such and such; and inevitable or probable that one thing should follow another. ... Since [narrative] is a representation of men better than ourselves we must copy the good portrait-painters who, while rendering the distinctive form and making a likeness, yet paint people better than they are.

[Anonymous No.14585985]

"Heh heh heh". "It's really freezing", I thought. "But the money I'm saving from my brand new boiler being decommissioned because of a faulty part will make up for my pints of bitter last night by the time winter is through ". I gathered my seat next to the electric oven.

[Anonymous No.14586609]

>>14584275
I agree with all of this. Have you been reading my posts? I wrote a similar message in one of these threads recently

[Anonymous No.14587235]

>>14584275
I disagree with all of this. Have you not been reading my posts? I didn't write a similar message in one of these threads recently

[Anonymous No.14587313]

The Lord lives in the bone house of his bioslaves. Their screams fill the empty etheric space. Blind godlessness stares down from space at the howling creature. And the old ones beg to be crushed with brittle coals, because it's better than being the way you are. Sweet Nothingness plays its snake music and the bonesmen dance their last flesh to ashes.

[Anonymous No.14587559]

>>14584275
albino eyeless penguins

[Anonymous No.14587617]

I hate everything so much I feel sick. The world nauseates me, people nauseate me, living nauseates me. Don't know what to do anymore

[Anonymous No.14587650]

>>14585315
>>14585371
>>14585521
Fuckin retarted lmao.

[Anonymous No.14587653]

>>14587617
Take some Dramamine ;)

[Anonymous No.14587655]

I have a sneaking suspicion that butterfly is a mod, or at least a janny.

[Anonymous No.14587659]

keep forgetting to eat until late, its making the nights longer, I think I've developed an ulcer. I keep puking. Its becoming casual.

[Anonymous No.14587674]

>>14587659
Shitty attempt to rip off the opening lines of NftU.

[Anonymous No.14587696]

I hope that one day i'll the paragraph who'll resonate with me and change for the better.

[Anonymous No.14587709]

>>14587674
sincerely posting, I haven't read that, what is it, googling gave me nothing I'd like to read it because I am having struggles.

[Anonymous No.14587722]

>>14587709
Notes from the Underground, by Fyodor Dostoevsky
>I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don't consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious). No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. That you probably will not understand. Well, I understand it, though. Of course, I can't explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by my spite: I am perfectly well aware that I cannot "pay out" the doctors by not consulting them; I know better than anyone that by all this I am only injuring myself and no one else. But still, if I don't consult a doctor it is from spite. My liver is bad, well—let it get worse!

[Anonymous No.14587728]

>>14587722
Thanks boss, I've only read Brothers and Crime, I'll check it out.

[Anonymous No.14587734]

>>14584275
I woke up and the swine had conspired to erase all the faith that I had in the human race

[Anonymous No.14587760]

I put my writing desk in the part of my house everybody thinks is haunted. I'm not a big believer in ghosts, but it is deeply strange how many who have visited this corner independently expressed a vague unease. Some even left immediately after being there. It's as if one were being watched. As if there was a lingering, uncanny trace of some kind of sad energy, a darkness beyond darkness and sorrow beyond sorrow.
Naturally this presence makes it the most fun place to do writing. I enjoy and welcome the company, whatever it may be. We can be alone together, me in this world, and it in the other.

[Anonymous No.14587837]

>>14585219
Everyone falls in "love" in a faggy manner. But you don't realise how faggy you were until after the hormones fade away.

[Anonymous No.14588319]

Pretty sure my brain has completely melted from reading romance manga, to the degree that I’ll never be satisfied with a real relationship. Like sure I could ask Alice from sales out for coffee but it doesn’t have the same appeal as tenderly confessing your long held affection during the fireworks festival. Maybe if I’m good in this life I’ll get reincarnated into a shoujo story.

[Anonymous No.14588366]

>>14584289

Same. I dont feel dumber, but my confidence and sociability have been cut down by years of isolation. I am deeply afraid of intimacy, but also want it more than anything. I hate this feeling, anon.

[Anonymous No.14588375]

>>14588319
Just stop reading them and occupy your mind with something else. You will achieve psychological homeostasis quicker than you think. If you can't even do that your problem is with addiction not with the content.

[Anonymous No.14588414]

>>14584275
I really treasure my writing, sometimes its not has good as I usually think but god do I love it. I feel like a mage with a wand, and a spellbook. My life is in a horrible condition but my writing shows beauty beyond all measures, perfectly preserved images of art. I don't have that many friends, nor women, nor self-esteem, but I do know where I can find happiness within myself.

[Anonymous No.14588433]

I ghosted some people on discord a few years ago because they were the reddit gamer type and some others were 4chan degenerates, but now I miss them. I wonder if those people still like me.

[Anonymous No.14588612]

I've now had the third session with the therapist. At some point do you just get better? I started going because that's the thing to do when you have problems. But I don't see an end to this.

[Anonymous No.14588615]

>>14585257
>Are you sure your prolonged social isolation is in fact the cause for your new found "social awkwardness".

For this particular variation yes. See I have always been socially awkward in the very classic nerdy heart racing, sweating, avoid going to parties way. But in small groups of good friends I did well and was well liked. There was a 6month period where I was really trying to push my boundaries and not be so meek, to expand horizons and try new things, and this wore me out and I more or less snapped on day and completely retreated from the world.

The awkwardness now, and I would not have called it this but I am just going to go with your verbiage because I have no real objection to it, is more that I think I make others feel awkward. The hypersensitive awkwardness of the alert eye-twitching, eyes standing up, prey-animal nerd has been replaced with a sort of dreamy numbness. A sense that everything is like a dripping watercolour, out of focus, difficult to grasp. When people speak to me it is like being talked to underwater, muffled, not physically but in how I have to sometimes actively strain to piece together simple sentences to parse them instead of just instantly apprehending. It isn't all bad, like I said I don't feel flighty and panicky anymore, but I also don't feel a whole lot of anything.

>Btw, could you elaborate on these 4 years. In what way were you isolated?

Two years in my room playing games and reading books. Going for walks sometimes either at night or right in the middle of the day when no one else is around. Two more years of much the same but with casual work amounting to a few hours a week, enough for little bit of money. I have a very scripted hello/goodbye with the receptionist but the work itself is done alone and only for a few hours a couple days a week.

[Anonymous No.14588626]

>>14584794
If it's warsou then it's whoever runs warsou. Not jannies or 4chin

[Anonymous No.14588634]

My mind feels like a a match that could ignite into a fireball of raging anxiety at the merest friction. I don't know what has happened but I don't feel good.

[Anonymous No.14588646]

>>14584275
Moreau just might be my favorite painter ever.

[Anonymous No.14588719]

I flew to the Midwest from South Florida in the dead of winter, and instantly the snow came. I should have bought those boots, but it can wait a day. The cold has been invigorating, not like the naysayers who make of it some kind of sufferable evil. Snow is a beauty which apparently those who have grown accustomed to it have lost within themselves, or else these who speak against it are disingenuously trying to dissuade me from it. I have snow blood in me, and it rises in its midst. I wish to belong to it, as I also had belonged to the sun-spoken humidity and creeping green of the south. I wish to belong to all of these states, as they were promised me in the preaching of their accord by the binding doctrine of our holy constitution. I am identified by them. I accept them. Should they reject me, I will respect their decision and relinquish myself to that fate.

[Anonymous No.14588846]

My dream relationship is one with an older woman, let's say around 50 or so. I call her my mother and she calls me her son. We live in the house she inherited from her relatives, who are wealthy but gave up on her many years ago. At night in bed, she holds me close to her and tells me how her dying parents tell her to get a husband. But she doesn't want a husband, she already has something much more special: a son. A son who will do anything he is asked. Like all mothers, sometimes she is kind (she holds me tight, she kisses me tenderly, she cooks me my favourite meals, she lets me empty my boyish seed into her) and sometimes she is cruel (I drink her piss, I lick her dirty asshole, I let her shit on my cock when I am sodomising her) because I am a good son. I've been thinking about this a lot recently.

[Anonymous No.14589143]

God damn it I need some friends. Social media shit like this hellhole isn’t cutting it anymore. I made no friends throughout all of college and now I’m clueless how I’m supposed to socialize as an adult. I wish I had just picked up a team sport or started playing dnd or something five years ago instead of reading a bunch of old books.

[Anonymous No.14589198]

>>14587659
Go to the doctors.

[Anonymous No.14589449]

I am the oldest sibling in my family of four and also the only boy. I have really begun to reflect recently on just how fundamental it was for me to grow up with three younger sisters. My dad was away from home a lot because he's a doctor, so almost all of my formative experiences growing up involved my mother or my three sisters.

I sometimes wonder if I have not been permanently "feminized" in my perspective and outlook. Like, for example, I see often guys with brothers talking about how they would fight and wrestle to blow off steam. You see this often in very masculine stories and media. But for me, I can't even dream of fighting to just blow off steam. For me, to fight is to fight to kill, and fight to win. Is this a feminine thing? Is this a thing I got from growing up with girls? I cannot just fight as a matter of releasing tension. To fight, to me, is to fight to the death, and to commit yourself to either winning or losing in a permanent way.

Maybe there's other things, as well. I think I have a certain amount of emotional openness, which I might not have had if I'd grown up with brothers. I grew up with a bunch of drama queens for sisters, and I think they rubbed off on me in some powerful ways.

[Anonymous No.14589525]

All I have is booze right now and I hate it. Such a markedly inferior form of intoxication, Sorry mom and dad but drugs are fun! I honestly think they make me a better person. What could be more promising than chemical self-augmentation? Drop the "ab-" and you just have "use."

[Anonymous No.14589636]

>Hi Im Sydney and Im a stupid shitskin goatfucker!
*serial killer walks into the room*
>Hey, let's stab her in the throat!
*talking to himself*
>Yeah, good idea, pal! Lets cut her ears off and beat her on the head with a hammer!
>Lets make her last moments a living Hell!

[Anonymous No.14589660]

Why did syndey cross the road?

A: because she had been stabbed to death and dumped in a lake

[Anonymous No.14590122]

>>14589636
>>14589660
ok

[Anonymous No.14590126]

>>14590122
SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FILTHY JEW YOURE DEAD!!!!

[Anonymous No.14590165]

I want to say the n word. I know I shouldn't. I'm white. I can't say it. But I want to. Not being allowed to say it just makes me want to say it more. How is it fair that there is a word I can't say? It's humiliating. I think this rule was actually designed to demoralize and humiliate me. Imagine telling Ghengis Kahn here couldn't say a word. He would laugh! But now, no. There's a word I can't say or an angry horde will ruin my life for it. One stupid little word. Saying it would be a thrill. A devious forbidden thrill. Shall I type it? Could I type it? The word will get you banned on other sites, but not 4chan. Here I see it quite regularly. But I still fear typing it. What if the NSA server of all our posts leaks over day? What if the identity data is intact and people see that I once typed the forbidden word? My life would be ruined. I'm a respected member of my community, which has many fine black people in it. They would be deeply hurt. And yet... And yet... The pull to type the word only goes stronger. I cannot resist for much longer. I cannot. I have to type it. I have to live. I am a man! Nobody can take my voice from me. I will type it, consequences be damned I will type the word... NIGGE... NI.... oh I can't do it. I am too weak. Oh what have I done. What am I doing. I almost gave in to evil. I almost lost everything. God help me. Tomorrow I will change. I will change! Do you hear me? I will change

[Anonymous No.14590178]

>>14584275
great pic. im glad the painting op pic tradition lives on

read 250 pages of good soldier Švejk yesterday, funny as fuck. finally snowed today so i'll go for a comfy ride in a couple of hours, most horses were vaccinated and are out of work.
our stablemen are suddenly fired exactly when my sister (head of the stable) is on vacation and i fucking hate our authorities, they surely planned it. before she started working here the stablemen were systematically deported every winter but she prevented it, i hope it'll work out with the current stableman's brother. a good groom is so goddamn hard to find.

also, i got fitter

[Anonymous No.14590203]

>>14589449
That is such a crazy thing to notice. I honestly think that is a feminine thing you picked up and I have it too. Recently my friends and I have been shoving each other and just wrestling ironically, and tiring each other out physically makes me feel more in touch with what it means ti be a man. Like we should be shoving each other and stuff to keep each other sharp.

[Anonymous No.14590217]

>>14589449
>For me, to fight is to fight to kill, and fight to win. Is this a feminine thing?
it's based. not like you're a complete submissive pacifist, but a reserved nature. it requires immense masculinity to choose when to fight and be determined to win it, not just pick a fight for no reason, which is a cope

[Anonymous No.14590226]

>>14589449
Males fight to test their strength against eachother. They intend to determine who is the strongest, not to destroy eachother. Only when the weaker male refuses to submit is serious injury necessary. See almost any nature documentary door more information.
The youths wrestle as practice. It's instinct. It's inside every human boy too. They really really really want to wrestle with other kids and their dad. The love throwing fake punches and jabs too. Your dad fucked up if you didn't wrestle as a kid. Boys need to fight. I think without it you will be uncomfortably around men and possiblye uncomfortable with open competition against them

[Anonymous No.14590245]

There's no such thing as an intelligentsia. As a 155 IQ polyglot that's actually stronger at math than language, I am extremely lazy and have yet to an encounter more than a handful of people in real life that are demonstrably smarter than me. People conflate unwarranted self importance with intelligence and assume that because there are a lot of narcissists with 'big vocabularies' (that are actually comprised of pop psych buzz words and internet memes) that there are massive groups of intelligent people. I digress, I am the all around smartest person I've ever encountered in and out of an academic environment. I'm rarely bested in simple contests of mental speed as well such as first person shooters or fighting games. People often don't believe me and when I prove it to them they just shrug it off and say "well you're really good at [activity]," which isn't true because again, I'm incredibly lazy and often haven't applied myself in the least. This furthers my belief and experience that there is no such thing as an intelligentsia.

[Anonymous No.14590464]

My fantasies of power are too out of control. They have been building all these years. I need to do something.

[Anonymous No.14590501]

>>14590245
>There's no such thing as an intelligentsia.
There is, though. It's just that the cream of the crop is still shit.

[Anonymous No.14590558]

Thinking about humility, death, and nature while crying to this on repeat.
https://youtu.be/d-pSq4MJmy8

[Anonymous No.14590594]

>>14584275
It’s three AM and I cannot sleep. I need to leave for work at eight AM, and if I fall asleep I would prefer to wake up at seven AM. I only slept six hours last night. I am not tired. I believe that my health (physical and mental) is in decline.

[Anonymous No.14590734]

Is "Start with the Greeks" a meme

[Anonymous No.14590758]

i don't know. i don't know whether it'll be worth it. i don't know wethe i should do this, i don't know. i don't. for at least five years, i've been treating school like it was just an inevitable part of my daily life, which it is, pretty much; but it was nothing but a few hours, a lot of hours, that i existed somewhere else; in school, physically, in the void of nothinness, mentally. i became known as the guy who always sleeps in school and who doesn't care about anything that exists outside of him, and they are not wrong. back then, it was just school i was treating this way, now this mindset is slowly and subconsciously expanding to all other parts of my life. you know, i want to become an author, but i'm not sure wether i'm actually smart. like, i'm always treated like the special kid, and not always because of my latent autism. i'm always the smartest and dumbest guy in the room. i always sleep. i am never there.

english is not my mother tongue and these were just streams of consciousness that i didn't even reread, so i apologize if this was shit.

[Anonymous No.14590816]

>>14590734
Only if you want to get in to theology and continental philosophy. Analytical has a different jumping on point.

[Anonymous No.14590846]

the ride was good, bros
time to feed, sneed & resume to read

[Anonymous No.14590874]

>>14590846
I've never ridden a horse before, it looks comfy.

[Anonymous No.14590987]

I dont like myself as a person.

[Anonymous No.14590989]

>>14590874
horse is the comfiest animal, they deserve more credit for carrying several civilization on their backs and pulling the chariots of progress
bros, i wish animals never had to suffer

[Anonymous No.14591010]

>>14590846
cute horse. do you take care of them for a living? sounds comfy af.

[Anonymous No.14591026]

>>14591010
i come to work for free to help my sister, usually 4 days at a time with 2-7 days gaps in between
better than rotting in the city, the work's making me fit and i read a lot here

[Anonymous No.14591133]

>>14590987
I’ve always thought of this. What if I met myself from an outsiders perspective. Would I even like myself. Perhaps I’d find myself funny and genuine. Or maybe pretentious and annoying. Only thing I know for sure is that it would be a disappointing handshake.

[Anonymous No.14591145]

>>14590987
I don't like you either.

[Anonymous No.14591166]

The children, nog, wog, or ZOG, stare at their phones in their cubicles of thought. "Ah, but the elderly read their newspapers in their day!" Somewhere, a boomer has a heart attack.

[Anonymous No.14591191]

I have constant doubts regarding my intelligence. I'm scared that I won't ever be able to fully grasp the beauty and meaning of the classics.

[Anonymous No.14591228]

>>14591191
I have constant doubts regarding your intelligence too, anon.

[Anonymous No.14591240]

>start lifting and eating big again
>start farting constantly again
I guess all things are as they should be again.

[Anonymous No.14591255]

>>14591145
>>14591228
based agreeing poster

[Anonymous No.14591267]

>>14591240
i fucking love beans and canned peas, yet opt out of eating them in fear of becoming a fart machine during daytime. those foods dont even give me considerable gases, i'm a slave to common stereotype
(this post opened my eyes. i'll eat the beans whenever i wish from now on)

[Anonymous No.14591272]

The phrase "based and redpilled" should be filtered.

[Anonymous No.14591281]

>>14591272
cringe and bluepilled.

[Anonymous No.14591287]

>>14591267
/fit/ tells me this can be circumvented by eating other stuff with high amounts of fiber but it hasn't worked out for me yet.
But good on you to unbind the shackles that tethered you. Claim your dominion.

[Anonymous No.14591295]

>>14584275
i decided to get drunk because i have a headache and thought i'd also have some fun trying to read, watch films, or generally do anything but browse 4chan
instead i wound up browsing 4chan idly fantasizing about the day i work on my webcomic, as usual. i only came to /lit/ with some half-hearted idea that if i posed the question just right, someone could suggest a book to me that would obviously be helpful in that endeavour, and that i would actually read any such book if it was suggested. not necessarily some practical book, something about the writing process or such, but perhaps even a conventional novel that would help me with plotting, characterization, setting, etc, by example. this despite the fact i'll never reveal any of my existing work on those things on imageboards because i'm perpetually paranoid of my internet past being linked to my future work despite having no great expectations for it in any case. (clue no. 1 that i don't have great expectations: my delusional fantasy is to become a webcomic artist, not a great novelist.)

at least the headache is gone.

[Anonymous No.14591306]

>>14591287
unless i ingest too much nicotine (causing precocious shits), my crap is perfectly solid yet soft enough like a herbivore's.
lean meats are great for shit management, and there's nothing like eating a whole carrot for snack to get that fiber (also cleans your teeth during the day)

[Anonymous No.14591311]

>>14591133
I'd see myself as a fake person.

[Anonymous No.14591324]

>>14591306
>lean meats
to add, fatty meats will make your shit rancid. probably another reason Mongols switch places often. imagine barely any fiber and piles upon piles of pure steppe cuisine

[Anonymous No.14591326]

These anti-depressants don't seem to be working anymore. Granted I'm more able to do, to act, instead of just wasting an immense amount of time reading or watching - consuming media no matter how haughty or intellectual is still just consumption. Sedation instead of action. I'm exercising, I'm working, I'm dropping my bad habits and picking up better ones. I'm sleeping 8 hours a night and waking up before sunrise. Still, there's an omnipresent voice at the back of my head telling me to kill myself. Reminding me how I will continue to exist in this joyless bastard world unless I take the necessary steps to remove myself from it. I don't need a well regulated diet and socialization; I need a smorgasbord of drugs that will take me to the point where my consciousness is overridden with immediate sensation, where the only thoughts I'm fit to comprehend are about standing up and not falling over.

[Anonymous No.14591375]

>>14591326
Someone told me that there has never been a clinical study that showed the effectiveness of anti-depressants that wasn't backed by pharma. Not sure if it's true, but it would make sense.

[Anonymous No.14591580]

1. blog in these threads
2. get no replies
3. stop for a while
4. go to 1

[Anonymous No.14592089]

Do people actually have an “innate” fear of insects or is it just an excuse for retarded behavior? I just can’t wrap my head around grow ass men and women shrieking at the sight of a house spider. I get that some bugs are kind of unpleasant (large spiders, cockroaches), but why the fuck are you panicking about it? The other day a girl in my class saw a spider on her desk and jumped back so hard she fell out of her chair. She then sat on the ground and pleaded for her friend (who was also freaking out a bit) to kill it. How is this behavior not infantile? The only insects that concern me are wasps, because they’ll attack you without provocation and have a painful sting. But even then I don’t lose my mind over it, I just try to get rid of it.

[Anonymous No.14592177]

>>14591580
why do you have to expose the core so painful to see

[Anonymous No.14592228]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am1oAOoST1E

[Anonymous No.14592278]

>>14592228
sad that i havent watched Heavy Metal yet, delighted that i'll have the pleasure to watch it for the first time. those cuts are great, music too. god bless

[Anonymous No.14592467]

This girl from Bumble asked me to go to a concert with her. I am an absolute autist and HATE live music because of tinitus. Even if I go, I don't think I'm even going to see her again after since I'm going back to college soon. Part of me thinks I should get out of my comfort zone and go, but part of me really does not want to in the slightest. She is bringing a friend too, so I imagine that is going to make it a bit awkward. Do I just ghost her?

[Anonymous No.14592504]

>>14591026
nicee! don't forget to keep posting pics, they make these threads better everytime

[Anonymous No.14592546]

>>14592089
It's no excuse, but it's not innate either. Just a learned behavior.

[Anonymous No.14592699]

I dont know if i have anaclitic or introjective depression.

[Anonymous No.14592810]

>>14592504
i started using horse pics instead of wojaks to bring more freshness in these threads. good night to euro friends

[Anonymous No.14592872]

>sitting by computer
>damn i need to refill my can of water
>its already refilled
>literally have no recollection of me getting water
>i remember checking the can for water like 15 minutes ago and it was empty

Im loosing it

[Anonymous No.14593072]

>>14592872
the shadow people are trying to cheer you up, leave some books under the bed to discuss with them later

[Anonymous No.14593080]

>>14593072
Holy shit, i just opened the thread again and the second i open it you replied.
Maybe your right

[Anonymous No.14593394]

Just got my monthly Audible credit for a free audiobook from Amazon bros

What should I get?

[Anonymous No.14593483]

>>14592467
Go. There's nothing to lose, especially if you're leaving soon, take a shot or two of alcohol to loosen your nerves if you have to - worst come worst it'll be a cringeworthy memory but don't be weak and let that scare you off, everyone has those

[Anonymous No.14593530]

>day 3 nofap

[Anonymous No.14593547]

For some reason i knew it was all imitation.
Within us is parallels upon parallels like endless mirrors of self, looking onto backs of their own eye sockets, as behind our eyelids we have died long time ago.
But from the mirrors edge we find the silver lining that is the imago of self, the reflection of better, unfallible madness where everything makes sense.
In the end we are just actors acting us.

[Anonymous No.14593667]

Whenever I settle into the same routine for too long I start getting agitated and feeling ill at ease. What mental illness is this?

[Anonymous No.14593845]

>>14588646
lol ghey

<spoiler> you are right tho </spoiler>

[Anonymous No.14593863]

Moreau makes for great covers.

[Anonymous No.14593896]

I routinely sacrifice my ability to be confident and stay in the present moment when socialising all the time, because I am seriously addicted to cooming. I know I need help but I'm past the point of self control

[Anonymous No.14594259]

I want an GF but I know that I'll probably get bored of her in like two weeks like an bratty child gets bored of a new toy that he cried and cried for. I am not even going to mention that getting an GF is a herculean task for me too.

Sometimes I think that wanting things is bad.

[Anonymous No.14594311]

>>14584275
Our lives are pruned by the fears we perpetuate in ourselves. It's not virtuous to be led by irrational fears.

[Anonymous No.14594339]

Should I educate myself in the sciences and strive to become a grain of sand in its world of knowledge, or should I study the humanities and become a strand in the continuum of the human of the soul.

[Anonymous No.14594776]

Some things just don't go together. Like food and bathrooms. Or paraplegics and trampolines. Or kids with guns. Or school and summertime. But us, that's another story.

[Anonymous No.14594800]

>>14591295
JUST FUCKING DO IT ITS ALL FUCKING THERE THATS WHY YOURE TRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE ITS THERE AND YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CHOICE BUT TO LET IT OUT SO JUST FUCKING DO IT AND STOP BITCHING JUST DO IT
-me, to myself

[Anonymous No.14594809]

>>14590165
haha we all know you say it to yourself though stop pretending

[Anonymous No.14594849]

As I am casually studying the common dichotomies that divide humanity, I keep getting this sensation that there is some common thread running through them. I suspect I lack the IQ or wisdom to derive it. Tonight I wrote down many of them on notepad (think individualist vs collectivist, traditionalist vs progressive etc) and stared at them to consider what common threads run through them.
I suspect that Ellul and ISAIF were close to the truth, and I want to reduce everything down to "systematics vs humanists" but I'm not sure the words are right.
Needless to say, living in a western nation I feel constricted on a daily basis, and am intensely aware that the pampered life I lead is ever so gradually drifting away from the shores of a humane existence.
Earlier I watched my wife giggling and oohing over an intensely vacuous show centered around social media. I love her, but I don't understand her.

[Anonymous No.14594885]

I can't stop listening to Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap. This song is so good it's unfair.

[Anonymous No.14594895]

>>14594849
>giggling and oohing over an intensely vacuous show centered around social media

Like you don't have your base and mindless interests. Everyone empties their brain in one way, or another.

>think individualist vs collectivist, traditionalist vs progressive

This is literally just the big five personality traits, it's not vacuous, but perhaps it's more self-deceptive as these thoughts have been looked into to death. All of this is borderline pseudoscience anyways.

[Anonymous No.14594911]

>>14594849
The most basic divide that I can think of that underscores all world views is 'does man need to be remade or not'.

[Anonymous No.14594915]

>>14594895
>Like you don't have your base and mindless interests.
Of course I do, I am posting here. However, there are hierarchies to the ways in which one can waste their time. Regardless, I never criticized her, I just don't understand her sometimes. As is usual perhaps.
>This is literally just the big five personality traits
It really isn't. I'm well aware of the Big 5 and while they may serve a purpose for psychologists to categorize humans, I agree they are borderline pseudoscience.
However, nowhere did I imply that I gave a fuck about science or was attempting to use the scientific method.

[Anonymous No.14594922]

>>14594885
>Sweet Disposition
Not a bad song at all.
>>14594911
That's an interesting assessment. I know that personally I would lean towards the latter.

[Anonymous No.14594924]

My mother is turning 70 this year, my dad is short behind her. I've never really seriously though about my parents mortality but in the recent months it's been weighing on me more heavily. I've been thinking about death a lot recently. I try to shake it but it keeps coming back. My dog is old, and will likely die within the year. I'm not prepared to lose her, every morning I wake up and sit by her side as she basks in the sun. She can barely hear anymore, so whenever I sit down beside her she jumps, frightened. But once her eyes adjust to the shock and she sees it's me, partaking in my now daily ritual, she relaxes. She puts her head in my hand. I know one day very soon I'll wake up and she'll be gone, and my morning routine will be permanently shifted. I'm not quite prepared to lose her. Mostly, I try not to think about it.

[Anonymous No.14594929]

>>14594915
how does it differ from the big 5? both of the examples you gave are just archetypal results certain people would get from the test. There's no human dichotomy, it's more than dual-faceted and it's all a gradient anyways. And what's the point if you're not being scientific about it?

[Anonymous No.14594938]

>>14594924
she was never "your" dog, accept a buddhist outlook of permanence and you may find some peace despite the loss.

[Anonymous No.14594939]

I want to die but I can't, so instead I want to go through insect metamorphosis and go from a lesser dung weevil into a spotted dirt beetle. The mental image of a comfy metamorphosis cocoon is pleasing, because even if I could metamorphosize in some alternate universe, I'd still be scared of what I would turn into. Would I still have the memory of bring a shit weevil?

[Anonymous No.14594949]

>>14594929
>both of the examples you gave are just archetypal results certain people would get from the test.
I gave a few examples from many that you can choose from. I imagine with some thought you could come up with a multitude of divergent choices people make. I only suspect there may be a common thread through them, it's not something I claim to have proven.
>It's all a gradient anyways
A billion shades of grey does not erase the existence of black and white.
>what's the point if you're not being scientific about it
That's actually too stupid to answer.

[Anonymous No.14594970]

>>14594949
how's it too stupid to answer? It's a waste of time for you to question this stuff if you're not being rational about it. You'll waste energy and muddle how you think about people, for no reason, no truth.

>A billion shades of grey does not erase the existence of black and white

A gradient doesn't need to be dualistic.

[Anonymous No.14594997]

I just don't know anymore guys.

[Anonymous No.14594998]

>>14594997
Me neither. Also I'm fucking broke.

[Anonymous No.14595003]

>>14594970
>It's a waste of time for you to question this stuff if you're not being rational about it.
Why would you think that rationality is the apex of human endeavor or anything in general? Many of the greatest acts or works of art were fundamentally irrational. Structuring thought around some inane pursuit of the scientific method is absurd and foolish.
>a gradient doesn't need to be dualistic
A gradient by nature has a start and an end in order to be coherent. Even supposing an infinite theoretical gradient, it would be meaningless unless you ascribed at least two points to it.
By the way, I'm not necessarily a dualist, and am aware that for every supposed choice, there are likely countless other alternatives. However that would be a counterproductive way to consider things when humans have a tendency to organize themselves along contradicting lines - which is why people typically describe themselves as X in comparison to Y.
Yes they could be W or Z as well, but they don't claim to be usually, and if you compare their X and Y across multiple axes, it is reasonable to assume there may be a common thread linking them.

[Anonymous No.14595004]

You're telling me I have to brush my teeth and shower for 80 years?

[Anonymous No.14595011]

>>14595004
Not at all anon!
Act now and for the cheap price of
> a rope
You can fast forward to sweet oblivion!

[Anonymous No.14595028]

>>14595003
You started your post by complaining you can't derive a common thread. Derivations are intrinsically rational, sure there's creative thinking, but it's largely a scientific act. You're making it seem like I disagree with a lofty argument about the nature of artistry, which I don't disagree with.

>Yes they could be W or Z as well, but they don't claim to be usually, and if you compare their X and Y across multiple axes, it is reasonable to assume there may be a common thread linking them.

This makes no sense to me. Just because people don't claim to be, or it isn't the default action it doesn't matter?

[Anonymous No.14595030]

>>14595011
Well, that's no fun, that's just trading a lesser boredom for a greater one.

[Anonymous No.14595042]

That feel when no gf

[Anonymous No.14595048]

>>14595028
>Derivations are intrinsically rational
I disagree. I think that while rationality is a good thing in moderation, there are conclusions that cannot necessarily be reached rationally. Sometimes one must start at the destination by pure chance and work their way backwards (perhaps with the help of rationality). You can call it transcendence, or a Eureka moment, or whatever you like. Knowledge itself is not understanding.
>This makes no sense to me. Just because people don't claim to be, or it isn't the default action it doesn't matter?
Sometimes it's necessary to deal with broad generalizations in order to achieve anything. You could attempt to categorize every possible shade, but you'd just waste energy and muddle how you think about people, for no reason, no truth. Even a camera limits the shades of grey it calculates to 8 or 10 bits.
Enough aspects of existence are dual that I understand how dualism is an attractive thought. Acknowledging that there are many seconds of a 24 hour cycle does not change the fact that there is night and day.

[Anonymous No.14595075]

>>14595048
>Derivations are intrinsically rational
>there's creative thinking
I addressed that here.

>Sometimes it's necessary to deal with broad generalizations in order to achieve anything.
This is why I likened it to the big 5. It's a non-dualistic gradient for value systems which is what it sounds like you're interested in. It also labels the extremes of each of these values. I just don't see much point in doing this if you're not going to be more systematic than they were.

[Anonymous No.14595152]

>>14584275
I've been thinking a lot about the next step in Man's development. I keep coming to the idea of a total turning away from civilization. Not like Rousseau's retarded idea of regressing to savages in loincloths but rather a surpassing of civilization - for civilization wouldn't be necessary.

In this vision men still exist in their cities but Supermen exist as well, in the mountains and tundra and at the bottom of the ocean. Such men wouldn't work but rather devote all their time to artistic and intellectual creation.

Such a thing can't happen for maybe 1000 years, but maybe in this life time I can start the process of weaning myself away from society, and setting a precedent that others may someday follow.

[Anonymous No.14595171]

>>14595075
As I said, I am choosing to be dualistic in this instance as I believe it makes the most sense.
The big 5 is small scale. It could be useful but can't answer larger questions about mass human interaction. Admittedly nothing can because such systems become incomprehensible and unpredictable.
For someone concerned that I'm wasting my time, you certainly are generous with yours. I like to think upon such things while stuck in traffic or pretending to work during office hours. I am sure I will never create some powerful new form of thought, but questioning trends and links is useful as I try to understand the movement of the world.
Most people I regularly deal with reach some stage that I describe. Some are merely avowed liberal party members, some go further and declare such things meaningless as they see themselves in a nationalist/globalist paradigm. Ultimately I see every person choosing an arbitrart side on a host of issues and focusing on that.
My original comment was to speculate that there is likely some deeper thread than all of these. For me personally, I am at the materialist vs non materialist stage.
If you have an idea of how to scientifically investigate such thought, I am your captive audience.

[Anonymous No.14595186]

>>14595152
Interesting thought.
Do you believe you will achieve satisfaction by weaning yourself off of society?
Do you consider it an authentic human experience to do so?

[Anonymous No.14595202]

I went outside today. Yes, I did go outside yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that too. Today I did something different though. On my way back from work--an aggravating apartment remodel at present--I purchased a sixer of regular beer. Regular as opposed to the high gravity malt liquor which has been my wont, the last year.
Sitting down to watch the nightly news, courteously beamed in by my walmart antennae, I cracked one and then another. The news ended and I drove down to the laundromat. I cannot emphasize enough the significance of that so seemingly small act. See, I’ve usually had three 25 oz cans of malt liquor (The Big One) by the time the news broadcast ends. Then I walk to a different corner store from where I picked up the first three and buy three more.
I have dirty laundry from the summer piled in a corner of my bedroom. Fortunately smoking has eroded my sense of smell and I smoke inside too, which must help further mask any of those scents more unpleasant. Why haven’t I washed that laundry though?
Easily enough explained. By the time I decide to stop working each day, I’m beginning to sober up and that unreasoned anxiety begins to slowly creep back into my skull. So I must begin my journey home. Stopping of course at the corner store for my nightly medicine.
Medicine it truly is. I drive that extra block, climb the stairs to my apartment, hit the couch, put a cold one to my lips, and it all takes is one sip. Anxiety, gone without a trace.

[Anonymous No.14595215]

>>14595186
I'm not sure to be honest. I feel like it has something to do with my individuation though. My goals right now are to decrease my debt and get the idea of post-civilization into the zeitgeist. My career path is in IT which is a hard field to realize this goal compared to something like being a tradesman.

My current way of thinking is that food is the fundamental building block of society and as so the first step would be to become self sufficient in food. I don't think homesteading would work because that's essentially subsistence farming, which is way too time consuming to reach this goal. Rather, we should aim to use technology and automation to one day provide our food supply, and eventually other resources. The theoretical 'Superman' would rely heavily on robotics and automation for their food, mining, etc.

[Anonymous No.14595242]

>>14595186
I feel like everyone has a part of their soul that wants to escape the trappings of society, so I feel it is an authentic experience in that way. That being said, the theoretical creation of such individuals would have to be intentional and I do not think such circumstances could arise organically. Those at the top of the civilizational heirarchy will want to remain so, whereas going off on your own would be excruciatingly difficult and at times painful. There would be no protections that are currently provided by the state, like healthcare or a monopoly of violence. You would be totally and utterly vulnerable to the reality of life, and only the truly exceptional would avoid being smashed along the way.

[Anonymous No.14595252]

>>14595202
Alcohol is an abusive lover. It says it will protect you from your anxiety when it is really the one that keeps you anxious.

[Anonymous No.14595263]

>>14595215
My concern would be that your pursuit of creativity and thought, as you indicated, would be foolish and empty if you subsisted as you suggest.
It seems evident to me that an authentic human experience, living in the way that most closely mirrors how a human should live, is a necessity to great thought and endeavor.
Walling yourself off from society is starving yourself. Living on machine made food will not produce fertile grounds for deep thought.
Human nature is at least partially based around conflict and struggle, so achieving some perfect existence would lead to poor art and thought indeed.
Worse, I fear individuation is impossible without other individuals to serve as a frame of reference. It goes without saying that you must know others to know yourself in my opinion.

[Anonymous No.14595283]

>>14595186
Would I achieve satisfaction? I don't know. I am somewhat a bipolar individual (not clinically diagnosed, but in spirit). I have periods of ups and downs, and I am often excitable or depressed.

In my depressed periods, I have a reoccurring dream of living in a cabin in the woods, far away from others, with enough supplies that I don't have to worry materially. One of my goals in life actually is to rent a cabin in Alaska for a couple of months during the winter. I want to paint and work on engineering (computer/electronic) projects and grow spiritually (psychedelics/shadow work). I don't know why I want to exist independently. But what makes me happiest in life is creating things. I suppose existing somewhere like at the bottom of the ocean, free to create while still being able to come up and interact with society is something of the ideal life for me.

[Anonymous No.14595294]

>>14584275
I have this difficult issue I am wonder if anons can shed some light on. You see I have this strong feeling inside me that I want to have sex with women. At the same time I don't know any women who desire to have sex with me and when I try to talk to them I feel overwhelming anxiety - proportional to or even greater than the urge to have sex! This is a serious issue. However when I try to broach the topic online I am ridiculed for having this problem since it appears to indicate to other individuals that I am lacking in some way. I am told that the mere fact I am having these feelings is evidence there is something profoundly wrong with me. This sort of response also causes negative feelings. By negative feelings I mean feelings that are painful and not wanted. Like how I might feel when putting my hand in a fire and wanting very badly want to pull it out. Is there some action or set of actions I can take in order to have less negative feelings in this way? Thanks in advance for your advice anons.

[Anonymous No.14595309]

>>14595263
But what is existence if not singing into the void anyways? I won't be able to take my creations with me when I die, but if they exist for awhile so others can see I will be satisfied.

When I was a kid I had a Sega game that was a collection of Atari games (space Invaders, etc.) It had a 'gallery' you could walk around in and see all of the artifacts of the games. There was only you, the gallery seemed to exist for its own sake. For me that's the ultimate goal of creation, to exist for it's own sake. I have this idea of keeping priceless gallery down somewhere, where others may visit, but such that entropy is least likely to affect it. I guess it's about being above humanity so I can see it from a birds view, rather than running away from it. But ultimately we can't or shouldn't exist at the same level forever. Man is something to be surpassed, after all.

[Anonymous No.14595333]

>>14595294
It's normal to be afraid of the unknown, especially if you didn't grow up with sisters or a strong mother figure.

It seems to me that your idea of woman may not be well integrated. Maybe you see them as mysterious figures of desire or judgmental harpies.

I would try to see the mundanity in women if I was you. Try to make friends with women platonically, ugly and pretty, young and old. See that they have many of the same thoughts as you do, they eat the same food and they even shit it out too. Maybe that will bring more balance to your concept of women, and then you can have a better understanding of them and who you'd like to pursue as a mate.

[Anonymous No.14595340]

>>14595252
Alcohol is the only cause of my anxiety. That is the withdrawals are the only cause. I don't drink because I'm anxious, I get anxious when I don't have a drink.

[Anonymous No.14595349]

>>14595340
That's tough, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. At least you were able to make some progress. I wish you the best of luck.

[Anonymous No.14595375]

>>14595349
Thanks buddy, I wrote that last night and kept myself to a six pack again tonight. I was drunk the entirety of last year (not the first time) so this decade is already off to a good start.

[Anonymous No.14595395]

>>14595263
How 'should' man live? Should he be a hunter gatherer or work in an office or as a farmer? The role of man is constantly changing, even within himself. To be close to the common man is to take on the problems of the common man. I seek higher problems to solve.

[Anonymous No.14595782]

I just dreamed about Nassim Nicholai Taleb watching me and my gf have sex.
And I've never even read a book by him. I just saw a pic from him on /lit/ every now and then.

I guess I should read him now? Was this a strange sign in that direction?

[None !!toyzDfGl0vW No.14595814]

I see a far off void coming closer. It's vague and condemning to think about. How I am just another collection of life awaiting its end. That I am not so special as to avoid the dreaded gullet of death, to be cancelled out of existence without any pity. It's cold is enough to freeze over the stars. A final negation, an absolute of absolutes. I should think less of encroaching darkness and more of soothing light. Let the blossoms be an expression of nature. Smell their fragrance and ride the wave of good times.

[Anonymous No.14595826]

>that lesbo scene in norwegian wood
im surprised that i managed to get a chub from reading sex scene in a book.

[Anonymous No.14595830]

>>14595782
That non-sequiter chapter about voyeurism in Skin In The Game makes a lot more sense now.

[Anonymous No.14595937]

>>14595814
Hey man, enjoy it while it lasts. I may be a puppet carried by fate but at least I can enjoy the role I play

[Anonymous No.14595964]

>>14584275
The slugs.

[Anonymous No.14595996]

I like to listen to music when i'm drunk.

I really like the song snake eater.

When i listen to this song i get really overwhelmed with emotion, and feel like crying tears of joy.

i used to think that it was because i was just drunk, and it was just a really good song; but i realized just now that the reason i get really emotional is because of the message of the song. the words that the singer sings brings forth the deepest spiritual desire that a man wishes from a woman: full loyalty

this is something that is so rare in our modern world. it' supposed to be outdated. it's supposed to be oppressive. it's supposed to be evil.

but it's the most beautiful thing that we have now, mainly due to the extreme contrast of the deprivation of this thing.

the fact that we should be loyal, and that people are not abandoned, replaceable and interchangeable. that there are deeper things that matter. that someone would give their life in full loyalty. that even in the last moment, they will not betray you.

today we see this as a joke. yet that is why this song brings so forth so much emotion. it's a view into something that people attempt to make a myth. it is something that is supposed to be dead. it is something that isnt supposed to be real. yet we all feel it on some level. therefore we know it's real. and we should all strive to be that loyal person. because it's righteous and beautiful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hULJu2mcU6s

[Anonymous No.14596030]

Derrida says French is his one language, but it "is not mine," as in not his mother tongue, or language of national identity, as he's not a France native but from a colony of France, i.e. Algeria. Now that Algeria has had generations since independenxe, is there always a sense of not owning French, or it not being their mother tongue, or can they own it after generations of independence from France and not knowing colonization, and how many generations until the language is theirs postcolonization? Because I'm pretty sure most Americans view English as their mother tongue, or national identity, even though it comes from England, and they were once a colony of England several generations ago.

[Anonymous No.14596081]

I once repeatedly said "I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream" for 5 minutes before my teacher had to make me stop.

[Anonymous No.14596134]

>>14594849
>divide humanity
Resources. Natural resource scarcity vs. Artificial resource scarcity

[Anonymous No.14596410]

>>14596030
I wouldn't take anythint Derrida had to say seriously.
Alternately you could deconstruct every single thing he said to reveal the hidden truth that you should actually be a nazi.
>>14595996
Loyalty is in short supply because of individualism. I know many anons may disagree but individualism is the cancer of the west. Yes, it has its advantages but it also resulted in our people becoming indolent, insolent and ignorant. Tocqueville and Giambattista predicted this with great accuracy.

[Anonymous No.14596569]

Real meat!
No antibiotics!
No artificial growth hormones!

It's surreal that food is advertised for what it is not rather than what it is.

[Anonymous No.14596753]

All I know is hardcore punk is fucking awesome. Thanks to the anon who recommend me "The Decline Of Westernt Civilization" on the last thread!

[Anonymous No.14596904]

What do I want to write again? Shit.

[Anonymous No.14596931]

It seems to me that politics is just a superficial drama in a macroscale.

I hate politics because I can't control it.

[Anonymous No.14596985]

>>14585315
brilliant.

[Anonymous No.14597465]

>>14596569
"Real meat" is what it is

[Anonymous No.14597515]

>>14596931
You are correct.
However the truth is no one controls it. It is certainly influenced, but not controlled.

[Anonymous No.14598032]

Pori verdini in fitte schiere popolavano la scorza arancione, e un bottoncino legnoso indicava uno dei poli della sfera schiacciata. L'unghia smaltata e piccolina faceva attrito in corrispondenza del polo opposto, e quando la superficie s'incrinò, spinse il pollice in dentro e penetrò la buccia abbastanza da poter afferrare un lembo e strapparlo. In fondo al corridoio si vedeva addensarsi la folla in attesa davanti alla porta dell'aula magna.
"Ne vuoi un po'?"
"Uh... No grazie."
"Sicuro? È pieno zeppo di vitamine."
"Quand'è così allora..."
Le dita ancora umide posarono tre spicchi nel palmo della sua mano, freddi e pieni di semi. La schiena di lei si era girata rapidamente per rivolgere una simile offerta all'amica. Sul pavimento si vedevano alcune gocce che hanno quasi raggiunto la parete opposta nel momento dell'apertura, a sette otto nove... tredici piastrelle da qui. Contando che il mio piede è circa una piastrella e mezza, fanno otto piedi e due terzi, e visto che porto un quarantadue...
"Ne vuoi ancora?"
"No, grazie."
"Dài! Sei magro come un chiodo!"
"I mandarini non fanno ingrassare."
"Ma tengono lontana la ruggine."
"Tu ne hai mangiato? Anche tu sei piuttosto magra."
Strizzò l'occhio. Materna e assillante. Meglio cambiare aria. Aspettò qualche istante per non apparire scortese, poi si alzò e raggiunse il gregge. Il ragazzo grassoccio e baffuto fece un cenno amichevole verso di lui. Disse qualcosa in merito agli esercizi della settimana scorsa. Meno un quarto delta u per x primo al quadrato. Rispose che non ci aveva pensato e cercò di liquidare il discorso. Ancora sapore di agrume in bocca. Dovrò aspettare la pausa a metà lezione per lavarmi i denti. Però è carina.
La folla si mosse in avanti. Il professore doveva essersi fatto strada là dietro, perché la porta dell'aula era aperta.

[Anonymous No.14598188]

>>14596931
if you were a man of sufficient will you could control it.

[Anonymous No.14598406]

There are few sicknesses as bad as depression, people obsess over the excruciating pain of organ failure. When faced with the notion that something could be worse than their current condition they will, without fail resort to the standard evolutionary tier systems of cope. Humans beings are selfish because it kept them alive in the past. Most humans will spend their whole life looking down at their disgusting bodies instead of observing something beautiful just because it has no use to them.
Some of these pathetic, frail simpletons will try so hard to defeat their nature, even though such thoughts are already contradictory. Finding out just how helpless we are, just how much we pervert reality to accommodate ourselves is sickening. The thought has to be handled well, coming to peace with it can bring a person to peace and maturity. Unfortunate tales of others can range from pitiful to outright disturbing.
Those who go past this border of thought might find their mind fighting back, a sophisticated defense from the void. A common question to trigger it might lead from another line of reasoning - why do we, in the face of everything good that happens to us resort to pessimism?
Many will claim it pushes humans to improve, that dissatisfaction fuels our progress. This mindset, although debatable, can be taken as a temporary placeholder.

[Anonymous No.14598514]

I've wanted to kill myself for the past 10 years or so, but constantly put it off, with the sole reason being that I don't want to cause my parents any pain. I've comforted myself with the thought that I'll be free to do so when they've passed, but honestly, I fear that I won't be able to hold out that long. I'm not posting this because I want help, because I don't, I simply wish to die. I don't want things to get better, I just want it to end. I'm posting in the hope that sharing my thoughts will somehow enable me to push through a couple of more years.

[Anonymous No.14599210]

>tfw serotonin is back

I can smile wholeheartedly now

[Anonymous No.14599394]

>anon why do spend all day at home playing video games and reading books, why not go out with some friends who knows you might even bring home a girl :)
Maybe because you gave birth to a 5'4 ugly loser, a mocker and perversion over what a male should be who not only hates socializing and oppening his mouth but literally gets sick to his stomach when he sees a couple, going outside with do nothing but present my failure in a full and irrefutable way. SO SHUT UP! The saddest thing is that my mom really things that one day i will have someone "Anon, take some better care of yourself it wont be long before you get a wife and have kids!". The only thing that is coming my way is a noose and the only thing that hampers it is trying to forget about the outside world as much as possible and focus on my books and games, SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

[Anonymous No.14599459]

>>14599394
How old are you?

[Anonymous No.14599470]

This room smells like popcorn. There is no popcorn! The ghost is afoot!

[Anonymous No.14599475]

>>14599459
2
4

[Anonymous No.14599481]

People who ride bikes in the city are my natural enemy. Because they think they can run red lights. I will kill you. I WILL kill you.

[Anonymous No.14599501]

I have a craving to learn more science. I can only enjoy non-fiction because anything else feels like a waste of time and after a couple of years of hardcore Philosophy, world History and Ethics reading I have finally made up my mind on the moral systems I wish to adopt for the rest of my life. Now reading science is the next best non-fiction category left for me, I need the information so I can better pursue my goals.

[Anonymous No.14599505]

>>14599501

[Anonymous No.14599688]

>>14595826
such a shame they cut that from the movie

[Anonymous No.14599966]

Imagine, if you can, that life is like a staged drama. Because of the number of people in the world, there are any number of overlapping dramas occurring at the same time. Each person plays a part in the drama of their work, family, and social spheres. Some unfortunate people only appear as "extras" in life's drama. They might be socially impotent, physically impotent, immaterial to the plot, or any combination of these. In the movie industry, they call these people, "extras." That is, they are not essential. Their presence makes any scene appear more natural. But their presence is not essential to move the plot forward. I am an extra.

As of a week ago, I had 130,000 or so in my checking account with Citibank, 10,700 in a savings account with Goldman Sachs, 160,000 in a brokerage account with TD Ameritrade, and 70,000 in an IRA with Vanguard. I have some money in a 401k from work. It's possible I also have a life insurance account but I'm not entirely sure what I signed up for. There's more than enough to see to any costs I'll incur.

[Anonymous No.14600341]

>>14590734
Even if you skip them you eventually end up going back to them. It almost seems mad how wise they were about various topics concerning society and the individual.

[Anonymous No.14600391]

Yesterday I gave hentai or manga (don't know how to call it) a chance by pure curiosity, since I wanted to read something visual. And got a stronger erection than with porn. Don't know if this is a good thing but the Japanese sure know how to build erotic stories.

[Anonymous No.14600410]

>>14600341
It's just that nothing has really changed, and the Greeks were almost certainly not the realize that stuff, we just don't have records of earlier people talking about it because their culture didn't prioritize that type of discourse. Humans aren't retarded, as soon as we made civilization Im sure some people realized what was going on. Modern technology is definitely fucking bizarre but we're still the same animals.

[Anonymous No.14600908]

>>14584275
I may or may not be getting a /lit/ gf.

[Anonymous No.14600958]

>>14600908
tell us about her

[Anonymous No.14600974]

>>14600958
She is cool with my fart fetish and she listens to NPR

[Anonymous No.14600994]

>>14600974
Nora get ipad

[Anonymous No.14601019]

>>14600974
Fuck off, you're not me.

>>14600958
She goes to my uni, her favorite book is The Picture of Dorian Gray, she likes Dubliners and other books by Joyce, and has read a few by Dostoevsky. She's a freelance proofreader, and dislikes most of the short stories she's sent because "they read like they were written by children."

[Anonymous No.14601036]

>>14601019
Has she read your short stories?

[Anonymous No.14601045]

>>14601036
I don't have any, but I don't want to embarrass myself by letting her read my writing unless it's my political treatises, which are very good.

[Anonymous No.14601228]

>jacking off
>woman in porn she say "I had to walk up and down the escalator 7 times, I shit you not, SEVEN TIMES"

That's the least interesting thing I've ever heard, what the fuck was the point of relating that

[Anonymous No.14601519]

Been thinking about those normie news articles talking about how AI will make human lose job in the future. Well, yes. We needn't a job.

[Anonymous No.14601588]

>>14599688
What a shame

[Anonymous No.14601637]

Do you ever think about how maybe a lot of the retarded stuff you read on here is the result of an anons manic or psychotic episode? I went through a long period of mania a while back (that ended in hospitalization) and I used to post the most retarded shit on here and people would get super angry at me. It made me think, I wonder how much of the dumb shit on here is due to the same reason lol.

[Anonymous No.14601654]

>>14601637
I estimate that around 70% of everything people ever say on the internet is casually made up bullshit inspired by their emotions at that particular moment. I've defended opposite points of view and affiliated with different identities at different days. It's, in great part, a game more than a serious communication tool, and therefore retarded posts are normal.

[Anonymous No.14601721]

>>14601637
Probably a decent amount, I know I've posted some crazy shit. Although it's mostly washed away by the Guenon/Land/meme of the month posts.

[Anonymous No.14601724]

>>14601228
That's a lot of walking

[Anonymous No.14601932]

There was a rabbit/ bunny right outside my door. I was going to run outside and stomp on it and stab it to death. I even grabbed a knife from the kitchen. I opened the door quietly and the damn thing heard me and scattered away. FUCK. I wanted to take that fucker's head off.

[Anonymous No.14602031]

Sad.

[Anonymous No.14602159]

>>14602031
Why sad?

[Anonymous No.14602509]

>>14584275
every day i marvel at the beauty of our world like it's my first and last time seeing it. i understand why the horse-riding generations had a deeper senseof mysticism

[Anonymous No.14602571]

>>14588615
It might be depression. I had a NEET period and felt similarly and then got on an antidepressant and found myself much more sociable despite being "out of practice".

[Anonymous No.14602582]

>>14590245
You've just not been invited

[Anonymous No.14602585]

>>14591326
Make art

[Anonymous No.14602599]

>>14595202
Consider trying chamomile. I've always found that it stems my cravings.

[Anonymous No.14602708]

she stands against the wind like that Zaratustra cover man haha

[Anonymous No.14602838]

>>14602708
Post cat pics pls

[Anonymous No.14603030]

>>14602838
not much stable cat pics, but here's sister's cat

[Anonymous No.14603064]

>>14603030
Oh my God, that's the cutest goddamned cat in the world. There has to be more.

[Anonymous No.14603174]

What a joke

[Anonymous No.14603224]

>>14603064
it's a shaven fucking cat(she's allergic), the fur has grown out a bit

[Anonymous No.14603333]

>>14584275
Why the fuck does Leechblock not work? I used it in the past, but tapping Activate Lockdown isn't doing anything. Is anyone familiar with this extension?

[Anonymous No.14603656]

>>14584275
I feel sick and I don't want to die. Please pray for me.

[Anonymous No.14603717]

Like an outlaw draws his six shooter from the holster, the /lit/ poster types "pseud" to shoot down any challenge.

[Anonymous No.14603725]

>>14603717
pseudopost
try again

[Anonymous No.14603738]

>>14603725

[Anonymous No.14603771]

>>14603738
bang....

[Anonymous No.14604203]

>>14601228
>>14601724

hahahahaha

[Anonymous No.14604281]

Delicious retort of the mentally deceased
There ain't food for my brain
Just pouring my rain
Onto these heads voluminously increased
I read Ulysses on train

[Anonymous No.14604852]

my fetish is girls in blackface and there's literally no good porn of it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnRkS5eSu6w

[Anonymous No.14604867]

>>14584275
>the scale which measures our existence is: excitement or dullness

[Anonymous No.14605101]

Sex drive has gone again. I loaded up coomtube for the first time in a while but wasn’t very aroused by anything. Ended up cooming while imagining the cute couple from a story I’ve been reading doing it. I’m becoming a “demisexual” or whatever the meme label is I guess. I would very much like a partner.

[Anonymous No.14605186]

After nearly 30 years of life, I still don't know who I am, or what I want. I'm starting to believe I will never do so.

[Anonymous No.14605234]

Have you ever contemplated the sky on the arrival of the night? Yesterday I witnessed in serenity a beautiful sunset which colored the sky in blue and purple colors, the clouds were far from each other and semi transparent leaving the background sky to display.

[Anonymous No.14605236]

>>14605186
Did you try therapy?

[Anonymous No.14605704]

This is nothing new to some, but Hillary Clinton truly is a vile cacodemon.

[Anonymous No.14605710]

weed top-heavy like a dinnerless student with all Aristotle in his head

[Anonymous No.14605717]

c * n n y
*
n
n
y

[Anonymous No.14605758]

>Log into steam
>GOD is now currently playing
Plague Inc

[Anonymous No.14606284]

Today I ate a 20g sugar yogurt, two pieces of pie, some nasty pulled pork, 2 pieces of old sour dough bread, a cheese danish, some asparagus, and a piece of fudge. I played 8 games of league of legends going 4-4 advancing 74 points in my division. I read for maybe an hour and a half and did not really exercise. I gave a dog multiple hugs.

[Anonymous No.14606326]

What is the mechanism by which you get better in therapy? You just talk for x amount of time and then feel better?

[Anonymous No.14606675]

>>14584275
He enters prison at the age of 19 with his half brother and both gangs get annihilated in a racially charged fight among the prisoners. He gets stabbed and his organ punctured.

While recovering at the prison hospital as the sole survivor of the gang, he is treated by a doctor who is a stark contrast to the manual laborers and farmhands of his neighborhood. The doctor, also Latino, was clean cut, well spoken, and dignified. He treated the patients with dignity. When Felix is under painkillers, he grabs the doctor's sleeve and whispers to him, begs him to help him because he is afraid to die (Felix doesn't remember this). Before a surgery, he wakes up to a priest at his bedside performing the Anointing of the Sick in case that he dies. Felix argues with the priest over the existence of an everwatching God, and tells him that "your God is a son of a bitch". He spends weeks recovering in the hospital bed, wondering why he was the only one who survived when he should've died with the rest of his gang.

He is sent back to the GP. It is relatively peaceful without his gang and rival gang around, to the point of insanity, and other prisoners leave Felix alone because they don't know how he survived the bloodfest and decide not to mess with him. The guards keep sending him to solitary over the littlest shit, and he goes crazy in there. Felix sees older prisoners who have been in for years, and how out of touch they are when Felix tries to explain to them what the outer society is like. The lifers, a lot of them now fear the outside world and prefer to stay within the walls. Their most highly prized possessions are faces of women that they tore out from magazines. When Felix masturbates, he used to be into some wild shit, but now even just a mere sight of a woman's face smiling gets him off. He sees a female news anchor on TV and jacks off to it.

Once Felix gets out of prison at the age of 24, he is overwhelmed by the blueness of the sky, the lushness of the grass. The fresh air, and how it doesn't smell like stale piss. He takes his shoes off and walks around in the grass, feeling the cold wet dew under his feet, and then lays there. People pass by just staring at him.

Later he wants to be a doctor despite his lack of education and opportunity, but settles for becoming a nurse instead. In order to do this, he has to move out of state and go to Chicago, where nursing programs accept felons. He packs everything up and move over there with barely anything, and leaves Texas, which he never left before. Chicago is cold and pricier, and he has roommates. His accent and vocabulary is already a disadvantage, he shares a flat with 3 other guys. He struggles to fit in with the wealthier and younger counterparts of his school but keeps pushing on. He lives off campus and takes a train/bus to the school, which is 45 minute away by transit. He has to work on top of that. He becomes a full fledged nurse in 5 years (29).

[Anonymous No.14606732]

> wake up at 5:30am
> arm hurts, not bad but it won't let me sleep
> mfw that arm barely functions
this is Death

[Anonymous No.14606784]

>>14605717
sir, i'll have to interject. loli ass is objectively superior.

[Anonymous No.14606885]

>>14606326
Talking with another person is helpful for opening up *to yourself* about your feelings, and also helps validate them and remove the sense of alienation that often comes with having a mental illness.

That said most therapists are just grifters who won’t do shit for you

[Anonymous No.14606915]

>>14606885
that's why i talk to my horse when feeling down, it's free and helpful every time
you could talk to a chat bot or anon in some anonymous chat, to yourself or the shadow people, truth is recepient matters very little

[Anonymous No.14607062]

What are some spiritual/religious traditions that are compatible with a nudist/naturist lifestyle?

[Anonymous No.14607159]

>>14606326
I wonder the same thing. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I can't imagine many therapists being sincere and offering genuine, valid advice that would help me in any way. But perhaps it's just about having the chance to open up and get things off your chest like that other anon said.

Also, I once read a post from an anon who said he saw a reflection of his therapist's computer screen and it turned out she was shopping for clothes while pretending to take down notes. Just confirms my suspicions desu

[Anonymous No.14607195]

Often the thought of being erased comes to mind. Wondering if someone dear to a person were erased as if they had never been there, or if a "soul mate" existed would there be a feeling of something missing, or would it simply continue on? Would it be lonelier, or would it simply feel as if this was always how it had been?

[Anonymous No.14607580]

I think Bela Kiss is so cool. If I lived before DNA testing and modern forensics, I would tell the Turk to bring money alone and then I would hit her over the head with a hammer and store her in a metal drum like he did. I would absolutely do it.

[Anonymous No.14608002]

>>14606326
Just read about transference in psychology and dont listen to cynical paranoid posters

[Anonymous No.14608215]

>>14606675
I like it

[Anonymous No.14608268]

These threads make me feel more isolated than ever. I used to think it sounded really stupid in my head but damn it all I want in life is to hear that you guys are doing okay. I’ve never been religious, and I’ve never really had much trouble living with the idea that biological existence is the scope of life, but what makes me lose my mind is the knowledge that a bunch of you out there could really just use a patient friend to talk to. I really, honestly enjoy trying to help people get through shit like what most of you are talking about, and it helps me a lot too, but this is an anonymous board and I’ll never cross that gulf.

But if it helps at all that some weepy navel-gazer on 4chan wants you to make it through the existential fear and misery that never seems to go away, then here you go, it’s free.

[Anonymous No.14608301]

>>14608268
Those are some kind words anon. It's an odd kind of world we've wound up with, imagine explaining the concept of 4Chan to somebody 500 years ago.

[Anonymous No.14608397]

>>14608268
You see, anon, I think the problem is that some people just don't want any help. Of course I can only speak for myself, but I honestly want things to get worse if anything. I want them to get so bad I'll have no choice but to pull the trigger, and turn my skull into a wall painting. So don't feel too bad, anon. Life just isn't meant for everyone.

[Anonymous No.14608523]

It's coming back to me. Been having dreams again

[Anonymous No.14608526]

>>14608268
faggot

[Anonymous No.14608599]

>>14584275
Agree

[Anonymous No.14608689]

>>14608397
Yes, majority of unfortunate people use 4chan(nel) as echo chamber regarding their opinions.

[Anonymous No.14608733]

Everything I do is simply to make the passage of time feel quicker. It's like I'm trying to speedrun life so I can reach a natural death as soon as possible. It's pretty silly to do so, when there are a perfectly fine shortcuts.

[Anonymous No.14608869]

the world is a self-generating playground. emergence from a primordial beginning, expansion, the reversal of the process, shrinkage, finally return to the primordial beginning and the start of a new cycle. while the spheres spin merrily around, a part of the world becomes aware of itself, and believes itself to be a stranger, but eventually acknowledges its belonging and sameness: to be part of a single fragmented thing, a cracked mirror still hanging in the frame, a thousand-eyed monster, spinning in and out of dimension zero.

life is a playground. the purpose of a playground is to play in it. there is nothing outside the game, so there is nothing outside the purpose. these are the ground unrules of life. all questions of dominance, morality, religion, science, etc. all romp around the playground; utility, common good, other spooks of solid or windy composition; no distinctions, only games, one and all, interesting to observe, to participate in.

what I say is itself just a game. the raft with which I came to the other shore burns itself down, the ladder is dropped from the roof; thoughts as if they were floating, never fixed (although I hold on to them), just for the fun of it, a pastime. taking things really serious is also a game, a pastime. it becomes quite senseless to think like this, though there is a joy in it. why else would I do it? what one takes away is lightness of being, the cloud lifestyle.

oh, so this is what want to do - comment upon seeing a monk burn himself. of course man is a dumpling. he can't get out of his flesh, which means his brain activity can't get out of his brain. there's only one conclusion we can draw from this: it's the body that tells us why people play what they play. but who cares?

so in the end, the dancing star nonsense is quite right, though a little to grandioss of a picture (atleast for my taste). to eat an egg and to rape your father are one and the same, in many ways, though you might prefer one over the other due to your biology. this is all a bunch of hogwash. what does it matter when, in the end, it just affirms the current modus operandi of society. I just try to distance myself from stuff, man.

[Anonymous No.14609107]

I arrived at the haven just as the first stars began to twinkle on the sky above.

The captain oversaw his men unloading his ship, I moved closer to them.

"Am I retarded?" I asked the Captain.

"Yes son, but I still love you" he answered.

The sudden wave of my tears softly rocked the ship. The muffled reverberations of my sobbing echoed along the quay.

[Anonymous No.14609118]

>>14594849
The fundamental dichotomy is unity vs differentiation. You'll find god only in the former.

[Anonymous No.14609147]

>>14609107
I love it

[Anonymous No.14609236]

Start by pointing in the direction you want your life to go with your right index finger. Crush three sugar cubes within your left hand. Cautiously utter the three magic words: OFFICIA RECONUM CONSIDERABILIS. Walk two steps in the direction you are pointing to, then three back while still facing forward. Throw half of the crushed sugar to the place before you where you started. Close your eyes. Conceptualize a calm tetrahedron at the place of desire. Consider your ancestors and successors who have and will walk this path. Open your mind to receive their blessings and pass them on. Develop a self-expectation to obliterate barriers. Throw the other half of the sugar into the sky. Open your eyes. Now run like the wind.

[Anonymous No.14609339]

CAKE RECIPE:

250g flour
100ml milk
10g yeast
10g salt
50g butter

100g white chocolate
5g curry

4 eggs

50g sugar


Mix the flour, milk, yeast and salt. Heat the butter until it's liquid, then add it to the mix. Put it into the fridge for half an hour.

Separate the yolk and egg white. Add the egg white to the flour mix.
Mix the sugar and the egg yolk and put it into the freezer for half an hour.

Break the chocolate into pieces and sprinkle the curry onto them.
Carve your initials into one of the pieces.

When all is done, mix the chocolate and the flour mix and put the frozen yolk-sugar mix into the middle, forming a sphere.

Bake it for 30 minutes at 325°F (160°C).

[Anonymous No.14609350]

I had this book of Star Wars cross-sections when I was a kid. This one of Count Dooku's ship has always stayed in my consciousness. I remember thinking how comfy it would be to live in this little craft, gliding across the galaxy. The descriptions say that the ship has an "extensive databook library and ornate decorations". In a way I always thought there was something comforting about claustrophobic spaces. I always hated flying though.

[Anonymous No.14609480]

If you didn't do it, don't write about it. A smart reader can tell. Anyway, even if you get away with it, you're fooling no one but yourself. Even if you do it's like masturbating with a benumbed hand. This goes for making stuff up to make up for your failure of imagination. If you make stuff up and real people fall for it, it's fair game for your reader though. Remember, have respect for your reader. Only use your own stuff, not other (real life) peoples' stuff. Reality is stranger than fiction and without the internal context provided by your first person perspective, it will sound fake as shit and like you're simply making shit up. Lastly, if it's stuff from another book or something feel free to "borrow" it (but in a respectful way). It doesn't matter if that stuff really happened or not, is true or not, refers to real people or not. If it's good for you, it's good for your reader.

[Anonymous No.14609609]

Write as much shit as you can. Inferior readers won't be able to tell. Get away with fooling as many people as you can. Waste as much of their time as possible. Make stuff up with your imagination, if they fall for it, take all their money. Remember, disrespect your readers, the good ones won't fall for it. Use everything you want, especially other peoples' stuff. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Fiction will waste their reality, make shit up so you can fuck the people who would have fucked them otherwise. There is no good or bad, there is only survival. All writing is social signaling to aid procreation. You are a slave to your genes.

[Anonymous No.14609749]

Did genetics and environmental factors make it impossible for me to ever be a normie, or did my choices do so? Did I choose suffering over ignorance and bliss? While I'm not dead yet, it feels like I tied the noose many years ago.

[Anonymous No.14609753]

>>14585315
>Just complete indifference to maintaining and "working within" a steady gestalt of context, with a different set of rules?

You can apply this to everything Disney has produced in the last 5 years as well as almost every popular anime. Normies make up a majority of the market audience and they don't present a demand for effortful story-telling in which the writer labors over the logical consistencies of their piece. You are absolutely right. For some reason normies seem to just not care about good, consistent, immersive storytelling and producers have conformed.

[Anonymous No.14609802]

>>14585660
>Catch this brain virus, you dumb bitch.

[Anonymous No.14609843]

>>14609749
Genetic + environmental factors versus choices is a false dichotomy . The range of your choices are circumscribed by your genetics and environment. What choices you select from are determined by these factors. This isn't quite a fatalist conclusion, because you still have a discrete infinity of choices, although this infinity is still "less than" the choices that would be available to you with different circumstances

To illustrate the point. Take a set of numbers 1 through 10 : {1, 2, ... 10} Now expand this set to include every decimal expansion of each number e.g. {1.11..., 1.12, ... 2.1..., 10.1...} Now imagine each value here represents a possible choice you can make within your facticity --within your genetics, background, history, etc. While you still have an infinite number of choices (because decimal fractions can be expanded indefinitely) you still have fewer choices than if your set ranged from 1 to 11, or 1 to 100. Life is a lot like that .

[Anonymous No.14609845]

>>14585824
>>14585521
>>14585371
>>14585315

Made the thread. Thought-provoking read.

[Anonymous No.14609979]

The amount of willful ignorance and retardation in the world, even though nearly everyone on the planet has access to the internet, makes me question whether I live in reality or not.

[Anonymous No.14610184]

>>14593394
tfw you ask an open-ended and lit-related question seeking anyone's opinions but get no replies after 3 days

[Anonymous No.14610227]

>>14609979
>everyone on the planet has access to the internet
You got it wrong. The internet is mostly an amplifier of willful ignorance and retardation.

[Anonymous No.14610249]

>>14610184
Here you go >>>/mu/

[Anonymous No.14610540]

It was the day when the Coronavirus became commonly known as Corrrrrrronavirus for it developed a mutation which forced the majority of infected to trill their R's.

[Anonymous No.14610671]

Deux astres dans les cieux, parmi les plus brillants,
Ayant à s'absenter, ont supplié ses yeux
De venir scintiller à leur place un moment.
Si les astres gagnaient de ses yeux le séjour ?
La splendeur de sa joue blêmirait les étoiles,
Lumignons au soleil ; et ses yeux dans le ciel,
Brilleraient tellement en traversant l'éther
Que le chant des oiseaux croirait fêter le jour.

[Anonymous No.14610771]

I cant get over the fact that nobody is reporting on the OPCW scandal and that the word of Noam Chomsky, pilger and the rest matter so little. Its bugging me tremendously. Our journalist class is so spineless its demoralizing me, the integrity iniative leak never lead to widespread condemnation or an investigation.

I feel like there is so much information now that nobody cares about the powers that be, there is information overload. I wont fit in and i unironically want to kms. There is no justice or resolve among the western nations anymore. Assange, and the lies spread about him the past 5 years will be enough to see him shunned & forgotten. I think we lost the fight. I cant stop thinking about it. I just want to see change, or at least recognition in the mainstream. But i know it wont happen, the last year proved that the press is spineless. I just want someone to call me a faggot and shoot me desu

[Anonymous No.14610937]

>>14609843
nice lad

[Anonymous No.14610955]

>>14610184
Think for yourself you dumb bitch

[Anonymous No.14611106]

>>14606675
jesus fucking christ

[Anonymous No.14611184]

>>14610771
It’s completely hopeless to convince normies of this shit, they watched the lying news media lead us into multiple wars yet still guzzle down everything they shit out (especially now that most of the media companies have aligned themselves with the #resisttheorange crowd, any criticism of media is now interpreted as “supporting drumpf”). I’ve personally started just taking the opposite line of the press, that’s probably wrong in a lot of cases too but fuck me I’m not giving an inch to those ghouls.

[Anonymous No.14611536]

>>14609979
This. I want humanity to go extinct. We are literally the biggest mistake the universe ever made (Unless there's aliens out there more retarded than us, which is highly doubt.) I have no fucking clue how we've made it this far. Looking at the world makes me think we're all living in some sort of twisted practical joke that's gone on for far too long.

[Anonymous No.14611878]

My friends offered me to pay for an prostitute like 2 years ago so I could lose my virginity. I refused back then but now I am lonely and sad I might just take them up on their offer.

[Anonymous No.14611890]

>>14611878
Prostitutes will only make you feel even more lonely and sad. The only thing worse than not getting laid is losing your virginity to someone who doesn't want to have sex with you at all.

[Anonymous No.14611989]

>>14611878
all the muck that's contaminating her asshole, i want to mop it up with my wet tongue rag. i want to nestle in her odium pregnant cheek bag, and in my mouth cupboard sort every fart plate, like a leather-bound housemaid i want to live, sucking any foul desire from your intestinal lips. release the sludge, ass-mother

[Anonymous No.14612284]

>I dont know what i want, i feel unable to plan my future and find life meaningless.
Is there a cure for this or its my cross to carry for the rest of the life?

[Anonymous No.14612578]

I've just come to realize that for as long as I can remember, I've never really asked someone to do anything for me. Over nearly 30 years, I cannot recollect asking someone for help a single time. Honestly, I can't find a single memory of me requesting anything beyond something like "pass the bread." I'm not sure how to feel about this.

[Anonymous No.14612756]

>>14612284
Just b happy, strive for a comfortable life

[Anonymous No.14612781]

>>14611989
No

[Anonymous No.14612799]

>>14590165
almost based

[Anonymous No.14612805]

>>14607159
I think my therapist tries, but I still feel hopeless. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I'm pretty sure I have a personality disorder. From what I've read this takes many years to treat. If I have to live like this for 5+ years, I'd honestly rather die.

[Anonymous No.14612826]

>>14590989
>I wish animals never had to suffer

Cruelty to animals is why god is punishing the chinese with the coronavirus

[Anonymous No.14613072]

I just remembered something random from my teenage years. I had this dream that I was in love with this beautiful blonde girl and she was so perfect, so nice and she was genuinely trying to make me happy. The joy I felt during that dream was indescribable, because having that sort of relationship was something I’ve always ached for.

Anyway, I woke up and when I realized that none of it was real I wanted to scream. And scream and scream and scream. Am I unworthy of love? It’s not like I’m a bad guy, I’m polite and have friends. I work out, am sociable, and had a girlfriend once, but that was long ago. Since then it has been 7 loveless years and I don’t know where I’ve went wrong

But that dream... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

[Anonymous No.14613082]

I want to be a qt femboy (male) but my skin is bad and my hair is gross :(

[Anonymous No.14613215]

I make people feel barren on the inside. I leave GOOD people with that feeling. Knowing that no matter what happens, it's not enough. I'm still here. It hits people harder than I thought it would. I mean it's great for the bad guys. But I watch good people turn evil, for no other reason than they hate their own overwhelming feeling of impotence.

[Anonymous No.14613560]

I should not have been hired. I am not fit for this job and will surely let everyone down. I want to run away, I want to hide. Please just leave me be. Let me work a shitty wageslave job where someone just tells me what do to for 8 hrs a day because that’s what I deserve.

I say that kind of jokingly and it’s a bit of an exaggeration but it’s essentially how I feel. I hate having to make my own decisions and face the consequences of my choices. I just want someone to tell me what to do.

[Anonymous No.14613572]

Insufficient

[Anonymous No.14613584]

>>14613082
Clear up your skin and be the male you were born to be my man.

[Anonymous No.14613585]

Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible. Just do as much good as possible. Just do as much damage as possible.

[Anonymous No.14613595]

I wish scalebound hadn't been cancelled

[Anonymous No.14613679]

Life feels like a huge great tragedy, and I wish I could capture that feeling in art somehow.
I wish I could make (or at least see) something hat really captures the feeling of everything good in your life coming apart and there being absolutely nothing anyone can do about it.
Something that really shows how fallible our cultural symbols are, how frail and impotent we are. I feel like a person being decapitated in Disneyland in front of his family: a juxtaposition between a brutal, horrifying reality and cultural symbols that disguise life.
Shit like anime, k-pop, most fiction is what I'm talking about. I wish I could create a fictional story that is soul crushing but not being edgy, over-dramatic or pretentious about it, I wish it could feel natural.
I think Deathconsciousness is the best example of what I'm trying to say.

[Anonymous No.14613851]

I've let myself get sucked into the whirling, over-stimulated modern world.

[Anonymous No.14613893]

>>14598514
at-least tell your brother that you love him before you do it, if you've got one. my brother just fucking blew his brains out without any consolation for us.

[Anonymous No.14614039]

>>14584275
I really wish I had a father in my life.

[Anonymous No.14614154]

I think too many thoughts about perverse things. They are distracting, always intrusive. I wish I never ended up so perverse. The damage is done. Back I go to those flashes of licentious flesh in my conscience. Pulsing, crawling, slimy coils of human skin. Orgies of thoughtless lust.

[Anonymous No.14614504]

>>14612756
I dont know how does it feel to be happy.

[Anonymous No.14614571]

>>14584275
When my brother and I went to France we were too poor to buy Louvre tickets with everyone else so we sat outside and he read The Once and Future King while I talked to the local crows. I think they were looking at me like that because I don’t speak French.

[Anonymous No.14614681]

>>14614571
That's pretty cool anon. I didn't know you were a crow.

[Anonymous No.14615174]

It's all so tiring

[Anonymous No.14616180]

The older I become, and the more I know, the less certain I become.
It's not simply seeing more shades of grey, it's a constant rearranging of priorities.
I suspect that in the end, my parents will have been right about most things.

At the same time, I'm incredibly jealous of those who know without doubt what they were meant to do. Like the greasy boy in high school that took shop 3 times and now happily wrenches cars for a living, or a skilled chef who focuses every iota of their being on honing their craft. I make a comfortable living and enjoy my work but I feel ever restless, as though I'm still missing some calling.