/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.14535541]

write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.14535581]

I've been "writing" for over ten years--very intermittently and without much discipline. But now I'm taking it more seriously and revisiting stuff I wrote years ago. I've found that I've become a better writer and reader over the last two years and have been able to significantly improve all of my old stuff and turn them into things I'm proud of.

The finishing touch is getting a fresh set of eyes to look at the stories and provide feedback.

[Anonymous No.14535611]

You spend most of your life waiting. What is the difference between luck and destiny? Some people can do everything right and still fail. Some people can do everything wrong and still succeed. Are you mature and wise enough to be in tune with what could be? What will be?

[Anonymous No.14535619]

>>14535541
>I've found that I've become a better writer
wishful thinking
no you haven't

[Anonymous No.14535629]

>>14535541
What am I? I am nothing. Or am I everything? Or something in between? What is the world?

[Anonymous No.14535654]

>>14535619
If you saw my first drafts from age 24 25, and then draft five of the same story, you would recognize that I've become a better writer.

[Anonymous No.14535666]

>>14535541
I had amazing meditations for the past 2 days. I'm around stage 4/5 of TMI and I finally tasted some loftier fruits of meditation. Culadasa is a brilliant teacher

[Anonymous No.14535675]

>>14535654
I'll see it when you post here >>14531097
If you have already, having read through them all, I can guarantee you that no matter what, you're still not good enough.

[Anonymous No.14535680]

I had an epiphany last night whilst in the middle of having drunken public sex with a mentally ill tranny, just looking at it was a truth in horror movie, and I actually can't help but laugh a bit at it now, because it had become something else than what I was looking at.

I have been watching Hot Fuzz all over again trying to figure out what else I can add to the other two films in this series. I was thinking about the whole heterosexual couple bonding dynamic and how great the whole sequence of their sex was but now I am starting to realise how there's more to it than that. It is as if the romantic nature of the scenes didn't matter anymore because we've been conditioned to believe that the sexual side of love is what defines love, and at first glance it would appear as if there are no such things in the stories.

That is because the romance never happens. It was "the boy got lucky/girl fell for the boy" formula that was used in real life as well in books such as Roald Dahl's The Twits. In literature, characters like this are used for even more, like the Daddy Kline character in Carrie and the Fishwife in The Catcher in the Rye. The pairing of an authoritative father and a cool wife, easily the ugliest woman in literature, is one of the oldest pairings there is. Although, I can't imagine how the emotional response would be if she was older and had a full head of hair, I digress.

[Anonymous No.14535694]

This is on my mind a lot.

[Anonymous No.14535706]

is reasonable to search for a meaning on life?

[Anonymous No.14535831]

>>14535675
I haven't posted it in the critique thread, but we aren't talking about "good enough," we're talking about "gotten better," which is basically indisputable in the case of my short stories, if only from the fact of how bad the first drafts were.

[Anonymous No.14535846]

>>14535831
Well keep at it I suppose.

[Anonymous No.14535861]

>>14535541
Rene Guenon (pbuh) is the most important thinker of the 20th century

[Anonymous No.14536001]

am i retarded? im kind of new to reading and even while concentrating on reading a single page i cant put into words what ive just read (reading dostoyevskys the idiot heh)

[Anonymous No.14536084]

Guenon

[Anonymous No.14536119]

I'm going to have to look for a new job, because I'm pretty sure I'm not getting converted (I work for a temp agency so to get converted would mean actually working for the company). He's already shown his hand. He plays this little game where he'll say he will convert someone and then conveniently "forget". The spineless fuck. It really pisses me off. These people approach me like a friend but they're aren't my friend. I just want him to tell me work harder or something if I'm not doing a great job. Not this fucking pussy shit

[Anonymous No.14536125]

>>14535541
I’m still trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. Maybe I never will. All I know is that there’s a fundamental genetic mutation which has produced a physical imbalance that I can only imagine attributes to a malfunctioning of normal operating procedure and development of my once immature mind. The most infuriating thing is how little literature and research there is regarding my topic. No one quite understands or knows what hyper hemitrophy is, but I wish they did. The rarity of the disease has left me totality isolated. I’m afraid of death, but I don’t know how much longer the will to live is going to last.

[Anonymous No.14536169]

>>14536001
yes, probably.
take notes of who the characters are and what happens on a book like that.
and maybe start with simple easy books where you can remember the names better
you just have to get into the right habits.

[Anonymous No.14536180]

>>14535541
Aaaah... Uh uh hmmmmm.. AAAAAAAAAH... Fffffffffffffuaaaaaa

[Anonymous No.14536229]

Wanting to exist as a pair of eyes in the world. Any of my actions is a contamination to the beauty surrounding. Unoriginality and pain and violence and desperation and sloth. How do you become a ghost while alive?
My CringeTM

[Anonymous No.14536311]

>>14536169
i mean i get the story/plot and the characters, their intentions and what they are doing. i dont know if you are familiar with the book, but this guy is reading his 40 pages long essay or manifest and im unable to sum it up even in more than 3 sentences. thanks to, may start taking notes starting with the next chapter.

[Anonymous No.14536370]

>>14535541
All of life is trying to improve our experience. We’re all trying to be happy, fulfilled, content, honorable, etc. Get fit, make money, have friends, find a partner, get hobbies, work and have fun, and so on. Sure, it is better to do these things, but just thinking about it bores me. It seems so meaningless, like a video game full of tedious missions with somewhat interesting rewards that also become tedious. We’ll all die someday, and we will all be equal then.

But if there’s an afterlife, then of course our goal in this life would be to maximize our rewards in that realm. The rewards and punishments are probably more extreme, but we can hardly know what they are, so it’s difficult to motivate ourselves to work towards them. Having a vague idea that there exists some reward, and that I need to do some task to achieve that reward, is a strange paralysis. It sounds like the best thing to do, yet I can’t get myself to do everything I should be doing. That’s why I think there’s no true free will. Even if I know that some path is best, it’s as if I’m a slave to some other path. Surely if I were free, then I could be perfect, and I would have no regrets.

[Anonymous No.14536517]

>>14535541
>boomers could get gainful employment with a high school degree
>xers could get gainful employment with a bachelors degree
>y needs post grad specialization, whether formal or informal, just to pay rent AND buy health insurance
how fucked will zoomers be?

[Anonymous No.14536605]

Post your schizo scrawls

[Anonymous No.14536633]

>>14536001
This is normal. The book great, but messy, convoluted, digressive and neurotic. I probably would have chosen a different one for a start.

[Anonymous No.14536684]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7izS0zI93A

I can't stop replaying this piece of music.
To my mind comes a scene, of two mid-adolescents, a male and a female, on the first floor of an abandoned empty castle-like mansion, with a white marble floor. It's midnight, and the full moon creates a spotlight in the middle of the floor from a large window, the rest is obscured by a blue darkness. On the middle of the floor is an old-fashioned bohemian red velvet lounge chair in which the female lays, arms crossed and eyes closed, listening to the silence, but also as if she's waiting. In a similarly meditative manner, sits the male at the background of the room, barely lit by the moon and looking down, waiting.
About 6 minutes ago, the friend of the male told the male and female to "wait here, while i go explore upstairs wit her", referring to a friend of the female
To break the silence, the male says "so.." in a kind manner, to wich the female answers with a neutral look into his eyes. They stare for some 8 seconds, the male is stunned, frozen. The staring ends in a mysterious giggle of the female, who then turns her back against the male, taking a more comforting position in her chair and an expression which was clearly holding laughter.
The male is still frozen from the exchange.The stares, the giggle, were they provocative to make him understand his place and discourage him from further exploration or to invite.
Despite the rush of emotions, the male still felt incomplete, as if his 4 weeks lasting waiting -those 4 weeks he had known the female- wasn't given a prize to. Aggravation was mixed into his lust, it was too much for the fragile inside of the young male to not know, what sort of belittling indulgence the female was hiding from him. Or maybe she was unimpressed and just waiting for her friend to come back downstairs. He would never know, unless he were to find out.
The female didn't only have her body exposed to the space behind her, hidden from the male her face told she was waiting to be caught in a situation where she wouldn't be in control of her body anymore. So the female's joyous, but observant expression closed its eyes slowly as she felt the male approaching slowly nearer and nearer towards her, as a warm presence right behind her.
He sat down on the red lounge chair and by placing his hand on the female's cheek, exposed her face to himself and the wait was finally over.

[Anonymous No.14537683]

>wanted new music recs
>went to /mu/
>tried some
>hated absolutely everything
what the fuck is wrong with them? where can i find music? i hate almost everything i come across.

[Anonymous No.14538281]

guy who sits next to me in class has some quite nice drawings

[Anonymous No.14538507]

I don't think I can make it another year at my wageslave job. I've been romanticizing the freedom of asceticism. I could live a year or two on my saving if I'm frugal. I could focus on my passions and maybe make something of myself; build something into a career that I would care about.

Any books for this feel?
Something that will motivate me to take the plunge.

[Anonymous No.14538927]

>>14535541
The world we see in our dreams, is it out there? Is it waiting? I believe it is, but I don't know how to get there. Maybe it's just me who thinks it's there in the first place. I hope not. I honestly do.

[Anonymous No.14539209]

>>14535541
Wrote a bit today, well not really writing more so planning chapters for a story I'm working on. I still count that as being productive.

>>14538927
Cool premise for a story

[Anonymous No.14539239]

These threads are irksome to me because I rarely stumble upon a thought worth thinking and my mind is typically vacant

[Anonymous No.14539259]

>>14535706
no

[Anonymous No.14539282]

>>14535541
Some anon on a critique thread said my story was "quite lovely" and that every anon in the thread should read it. I'm quite self conscious about my works, and to hear someone say that to me made my day.

[Anonymous No.14539460]

Sadness in the form of rays
Taking journey from the sun
No brighter the fool you are and nothing in your pockets
Not a kind word from a robber
When you most needed to share the killing spree
Any accident you’ve been hearing about lately?
The question dead and stale into the pale summer time
Incidents around here have been blossoming like flowers
Exploding entire cities, leaving scars everywhere within reach
Even in the form of scribbles, or characters typed in the press
Where have you been? The Robber asks
Out comes the knife, in form of a living verb
Words cutting up souls into shreds of paper
Sun glowing like jellyfish, sucking all youth into the wheels of ascension
Combing his face to the side, and parting his eyes
He diverts them into the insect eye lines of directions
Thinking of the past, all the moments he’s spent inside her
The womb of life, how cradled he kept himself
How crippled he’ll be in no time
But the mono-star pays no mind,
The lovers kiss on the side
The five clean fingers and naive lines
Of a toddler palm
Losing the balloon that would not obey her orders
“Stop, I dearly want you to be my friend”
But only sounds without rhymes came out
The montage marches on
The mushroom stores all history of phenomenon
Being forward with passing snouts
Claiming the next poisoned victims mind
And the new soul sprouts, awestruck
Not comfortable with the surroundings
It clams up into the only comfort in can find
The observing eye
Hung like a berry from a vine

[Anonymous No.14539486]

I want to be the singer in a metal band. I have a certain presence and a good voice and lyrical abilities. The world need metal right now. Everyone is so crestfallen and sullen. Pathetic. And popular music is reflective of this: spacey dimwits blabbing on about xanax and hookups. Terrible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFa2vlET-oY

[Anonymous No.14539514]

We need music that reflects the truth of the world. Brutal, tragic, unequal, hypocritical. Collapsing ecologically, ruled by shortsighted scum. We need music that inspires us to pick up weapons.

[Anonymous No.14539534]

>>14535694
if life is so hopeless, and we're so fucked no matter what, why even bother not jacking off to this? i don't even want to jack ff but there is literally nothing better to do.

[Anonymous No.14539554]

Was doing well for a few weeks now, starting to have the equivalent of static for emotions again. Very little motivation, felt like falling asleep all day today, reading isn't helping much. Trying to shitpost for amusement, haven't found anything funny yet.

[Anonymous No.14539582]

This poem by Emily Dickinson has me entranced:

>"I've beat my dick to bloody blisters
>I've ate some puss with gnarly whiskers,
>Am I based like those internet anal fisters?"

yet I just cant grasp it, even worse I'm finding my faculties assailed by all poetry, someone please help me with walt whitman's poem:

>EXPLAIN DELEUZE TO ME OR I'LL FUCKING
>KILL YOU! DON'T DUMB IT DOWN INTO
>SOME VAGUE SHIT! EXPLAIN DELEUZE TO
>ME RIGHT NOW OR I'LL LITERALLY
>FUCKING KILL YOu!
>WHAT THE FUCK IS A BODY WITHOUT ORGANS?
>WHAT THE FUCK ARE RHIZOMES?
>DON'T DUMB IT DOWN
>OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU.

I need help with understanding this prose to swoon this sweet hellen keller type at school, what did whitman mean by "or i'll fucking kill you"? was it about Lincoln's passing? help...

[Anonymous No.14539618]

>>14539209
Thanks. Maybe I could make a story out of it -- a struggle toward something you're not even sure is there in the first place, powered by nothing more than a desperate love for an elusive promised land.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14539668]

Brooke, you're a fucking retard. I don't think I said it today but I just wanted to remind you of how stupid and worthless you are. Just thinking about you makes me want to puke

[Anonymous No.14539734]

>>14539534
Life isnt hopeless u fight to attain feet

[Anonymous No.14540343]

Last week I gave a homeless person 150 euros, because they told me they needed to board a train to return to their home country. Yesterday I met them again and they claimed they had "returned" and that they now desperately needed money to buy a phone for their "daughter".
Now of course you probably think I was a fucking idiot for giving the money in the first place, but to tell you the truth I didn't do it out of the goodness of my heart. I was aware that they were lying, but I wanted to experience just what kind of emotions they would feel.
Still, I felt really disappointed when I met them again. I mean, when someone is homeless of course money is going to be their highest priority. But the fact they used such a stupid excuse makes me think that they cared only if I was the highest order of a gullible fool and that anything other than that was a waste of their time. They could have just told the truth and I would have helped them since money isn't an issue for me, but they just couldn't imagine someone giving them money for any other reason than acquiring karma points.
I didn't expect for them to consider me a friend, but I thought they would be curious of what kind of person someone that gives money on a whim is, or at least find someone to talk with from time to time.
The fact that someone can become so alienated from society that they see everybody else as a machine that they need to exploit to their maximum capability kind of scares me.

[Anonymous No.14540366]

I want to start writing my ultimate bullet journal/commonplace for 2020.

[Anonymous No.14540368]

>>14540343
write a modern L'étrangé based on that, I'd read it

[Anonymous No.14540376]

I'm sunk. I will never crest a wave again. I am a drowned man.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14540379]

>>14539668
right on brother, kick that bitch to the curb

[Anonymous No.14540380]

>>14535541
im sick of all the heretics on this site

mmuhmuhmuh i read valentin tomberg and geunon and schuon and now im a real xRISTAN hahHAHAHA so yeah im a follower of jesus, but he was a follower of buddha so like bazinga hahaha what? st paul? never heard of him. do i go to church? nah dude church is for hte unwoke now im gonna go contemplate my own scrotum until i achieve nirvana hehehe deus vult and all that hehe

[Anonymous No.14540394]

Is your life just a dream of other beimg?

[Anonymous No.14540400]

>>14535541
Reality is hostile and people are scary

[Anonymous No.14540805]

>>14535541
Eh. Live, horse, and you will get grass. Wherefore doth reason lay ere the sun rises. Ere our sweet umbrage is whispered.
Ere our sour bride is lost.
Speak me in finery, low man. For the burning I am is sound for you to hear and none other.
Speak me.
Speak.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14540810]

>>14540379
Also from now on we are always referring to Rose as "lardass." That's my nickname for her. Call her "lardass" for the rest of her life. lol

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14540815]

^
Cait, if you ever meet Rose, please call her "lardass" for me. And tell Sydney and Brooke, they're dumb sandnigger towelhead retards.

[Anonymous No.14540829]

>>14540810
I should have really said yes to Brooke or Jessica and then thrown them down a flight of stairs or something when they weren't looking. God, that would really get me going.

[Anonymous No.14540851]

>>14535541
The sky truly doesn't give a fuck about how powerful it is. It can combine a don't-care-blue with an avalanche-grey in the same glance of space.

True silence has never existed.

The most tangible outcome from the most advanced theoretical sciences is just serotonin caused by thinking.

Wouldn't mind a vodka right about now.

Have you ever been so angry with an inanimate object that it almost takes on a personality? You hate it more for how it mocks you with its silence.

If dogs ever evolved into a hyper-capable species like humans, you'd only need to show them how loving they were to prevent them from warring with each other.

[Anonymous No.14540854]

If I had not said anything and Jessica fell down a flight of stairs, I guarantee you would all genuinely believe it was an accident.

[Anonymous No.14540866]

why must self righteous and opinionated middle aged women exist

[Anonymous No.14540931]

Sometimes I get so fucking angry about the people I know, people I'm very close to - close friends and lovers of mine. I'm very judgemental and I come to hate everything about them, I'm filled with unbridled rage over the most innocuous details - the food they order, the way their arms swing when they walk. I imagine tackling them to the ground and beating them senseless. I would never act on it but the feeling is there. I feel bad that I feel these things but at the same time I feel justified in my hatred.

[Anonymous No.14540939]

>>14540931
In SOTL, the killer is dubbed by the press "Buffalo Bill" and in one scene, Hannibal Lecter says

>Our Little Billy must already be searching for his next... "Special Lady"

And it cuts to a fat blonde dumbass like Hamelin smashing on her steering wheel unaware of what awaits her. I thought that was a funny scene.

[Anonymous No.14540941]

>>14540343
I gave a homeless guy about £10 because he needed bus fare to the hospital and I realised it wasn't a ruse and his leg was properly septic. Haven't seen him on the streets since, but he had been asking for fare for like a week or two.

[Anonymous No.14540948]

>>14540931
I get those feelings too. Like in public, I will see strangers and just randomly think to myself "yeah, I could totally lure this woman alone and beat her over the head with a rock."

[Anonymous No.14540957]

>>14540343
You might want to try being homeless before you try to understand a homeless person.
But it can't be fake homeless. You have to REALLY burn your bridges, spend all of your money and make sure NO ONE will help you out, even if you beg for your life. Especially then.

You see the problem, right? You will never do that. You will never know. Because it is not who you are. Stop lying.

[Anonymous No.14540983]

>>14540948
I don't really feel it for strangers though, only people I know well.

[Anonymous No.14541143]

I loathe my lack of hobbies and the ones I think I have (they're simply not hobbies so I'm deluding myself) there's always the niggling thoughts of how I can monetise it because our disgusting society demands I make money to live so any enjoyment I get from said activities ends up becoming a chore.

[Anonymous No.14541267]

>>14540931
i know this feeling, but i think it's somewhat productive. our subconscious "create" a psychological profile, and undesirable traits that i've had when i was a more unproductive slob make me lose it
as someone who spends most of my time alone and enjoying it, i curse when i'm alone one of my friends, whose "flaws" are having many unopened messages of friend groupchats in his whatsapp. not answering some of the few message i ever send him, due to "not noticing it". and besides that he has this trait that other people i've been friends with have, which is forgetting easily memorable discussions/events. I may refer back to a discussion or something i said about a month back, and he's acting like being hit over the head with a log
HOW THE FUCK DO THESE PEOPLE LIVE AND STEP OUT INTO PUBLIC LIFE WITHOUT HANDLERS AND HELMETS

[Anonymous No.14541299]

This lit
http://sh.st/st/73ea42334d1bdb2b18369356627c7d42/https://www.philosophyexperiments.com/cat/Default.aspx

[Anonymous No.14541388]

I dropped out of college back in 2014 to become an illustrator, but editorial is dying a slow death and I don't have passion for the entertainment industry.
Thinking about becoming an agronomic engineer since my country decided to become a big chinese farm, and I can use the knowledge to become more or less self sufficient if I get tired enough of society.
That Sam Hyde video about using your youth to acquire a skill really got to me... Not sure if it's a rational decision of I've just been memed too hard.

[Anonymous No.14541508]

>>14535680
what in the fuck are you on about my nigga

[Anonymous No.14541616]

>>14541388
Got a link to that video?

[Anonymous No.14541647]

Did something stupid while drunk

Hopefully ill do something dumber next time

[Anonymous No.14541648]

Just found out that the girl I have been chatting with is a lesbian.

[Anonymous No.14541662]

>>14541648
I was talking to my friends female friend during our monthly "get together and drink ourselfs to death". First time talking to her. I liked everything about her. And all of a sudden "haha yeah my boyfriend...."

shits sucks mane

[Anonymous No.14541669]

>>14541662
she wants you bro. read up on semen retention avoid the foid menace

[Anonymous No.14541825]

I find myself more attracted to average/ugly looking girls

hmmm... interesting

[Anonymous No.14541867]

>>14541825
Theres nothing wrong with that. Plenty of guys dont seem to be attracted by bimbos/thots.

[Anonymous No.14541960]

>>14541616
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8uhcRK1QKU

[Anonymous No.14542058]

>>14535541
How to stop putting a personal stake in your writings? It is not normal for a grown man to be as sensitive to criticism as I am
Sometimes I just freeze up and can't write anything

[Anonymous No.14542088]

>>14535581
did you take it seriously two years ago or did it coincidently get better two years ago? And what exactly do you mean by "taking it seriously".? What led you to start taking it seriously?

[Anonymous No.14542171]

I'm about halfway through Kingdom Come by Ballard. I picked it up on a whim, later learning it was his last book and not particularly one people mention very often as far as I can tell. It's a bit stupid. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be pulp-y but it's quite stupid. I like a lot of his descriptions of the bleak consumerist landscape but his ideas about consumerism miss the mark almost every time they happen. The characters who are supposed to be ominous or strange just seem silly. Houellebecq writes much more lucidly and harrowingly about the horrors of consumer society than Ballard, at least so far. I'm well aware this might just be a dud book of his. We will see.
Bought a book of Pound's poems, I've never really been into poetry before, perhaps he'll be the nutter that does it for me.
I've been watching lots of French women booktubers, despite understanding almost no French. I like how they're all sort of a little bit ugly and wear too much red lipstick. It encourages me to get back into learning the language.

[Anonymous No.14542255]

I've been pretending for the past 3 years that I'm not depressed until I believed it. Now I need to face the reality that I'm an empty shell that doesn't enjoy living

[Anonymous No.14542716]

>>14542255
Anhedonia is a common post-depression effect. It wears off over time. Eventually you might build up some momentum towards some worthwhile end.

[Anonymous No.14542791]

I'm nostalgic for the early 2010s bros...

[Anonymous No.14542877]

>>14541648
>>14541662
Can't you dumb bitches just be friends with a girl?

[Anonymous No.14542881]

There is this indescribable emotion that I am feeling. Maybe angst might be the right word; nothing feels right though. Sitting at home working feels wrong, and going out feels wrong. There is this primal energy in me that is not leaving -- no matter what I do. Even exercising doesn't.

[Anonymous No.14542888]

>>14542877
Women aren't capable of being friends. They either see men as potential romantic partners or as beneath them. Neither is friendship. Nietzsche said it best, a woman can be a slave or a master, but nothing in between.

[Anonymous No.14543195]

I have good an idea for a book but I have never written anything else before. The story just somehow naturally developed in my brain over the years fueled by my personal experiences. But since I'm so inexperienced I feel like I would be wasting the story if I actually tried to write it due to my inability to put it into words correctly. So I might just continue to sit on it forever and do nothing with my life.

[Anonymous No.14543790]

>>14543195
No matter your inexperience, I’m interested in what you have to write

[Anonymous No.14543915]

>>14543195
put it on paper bro, even if its a mess. you can always edit. just right own the stream of thoughts and don't try to make it seem more understandable.

[Anonymous No.14544077]

Londonfrog is right.

I just made some recordings of me. I didn't like how I look from the side. The thing is, I'm good looking overall. I don't have any real objections. Because of that I feel like doing the stuff I'm procrastinating on. I want to go out and be around people.

This state is not the result of some external influence. No-one complimented me. It's completely internal.

I've done some serious studying in the past, read a lot, got a STEM degree, am trilingual, but to hell with it, it's the way I look that's pushing me over the edge.

Londonfrog you poor soul.

[Anonymous No.14544231]

The university I went to publishes a literary magazine twice a semester. I drive over to get it whenever it's out because a girl I had a crush on writes for it. I haven't spoken with her in two years, but she's a pretty decent writer.

I pretty much only read science fiction, fantasy, romance, etc. I purchased a bunch of superhero prose novels for Christmas and I haven't touched philosophy since my second year of college

When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, cut my nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, would smell my penis to make sure it smelled nice and to make sure I cleaned the smegma, would do the same for my armpits, and would sometimes shower with me. This went on until I was around 16 and he would beat me if I ever denied him. He deeply resented me because I was a spaz who couldn't talk to chicks and I was shit at sports while he was a Chad in high school/college. He still made me play basketball, football, soccer and baseball, all of which ended in me humiliating myself. He fucking hated video games with a passion and often made fun of me when I played them. He's 70k in debt to bookies, addicted to pain medications, and I strongly suspect he'll be dead in the next 5 years.

I like watching basketball, football and Sons of Anarchy for a vicarious sense of male comradely

Sometimes, when anger is overwhelming, I drive my car to a somewhat secluded location and scream/thrash around until my voice is hoarse I've cried my eyes out..

[Anonymous No.14544249]

Just realised that current world affairs can only be described as global alchemy.

[Anonymous No.14544271]

>>14544249

How so?

[Anonymous No.14544298]

>>14544231
this post went downhill really fast

[Anonymous No.14544428]

Why i can have clear life path? Is God just making fun out of me?

[Anonymous No.14544461]

>>14544231
kek
I got it

[Anonymous No.14544498]

>>14544231

[Anonymous No.14544511]

>>14544498
It's like a literary trap. Just ignore it.

[Anonymous No.14544536]

>>14535541
Shit sucks, and then you die.

[Anonymous No.14544585]

>>14544271
Couldn't really put a full explanation here because of time, but in short: alchemy is about transformation. It is the study of change, and how to conjure creative chaos. The creative goo in which are in is towards what, those who engineer it, in part, want. It makes the reality more malleable. In historical terms, this is not abnormal. Neither is it i religious ones. But it is also a physiological change, and a change of the world's soul. It is an attempt to make the people of the world also ready for change. Into what? I don't want to know. I won't embed my own beliefs into this post, but overall, it is alchemy. All secret societies practise it, and to varying degrees of purity. Their main goal is to create what they believe to be the philosopher's stone--but on a global scale.

[Anonymous No.14544589]

>>14544585
kind of butchered that post but whatever

[Anonymous No.14544597]

My ex-gf who I haven't speak in months just send me an e-mail recomending some tv show she tought I would like. Not sure what to make of this.

[Anonymous No.14544604]

>>14544597
She's realised she's made a mistake but can't really focus on that thought because she's female and it eludes her.

[Anonymous No.14544609]

DAMN YOU ALL! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

[Anonymous No.14544612]

>>14544609
Where did you get that picture of me?

[Anonymous No.14544662]

>>14544231
huh

[Anonymous No.14544712]

I think MFA really stands for Massive Faggot Asshole
Well, time will tell

[Anonymous No.14544939]

literature is inferior to music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFnbnJrpT6o

[Anonymous No.14545026]

>>14544939
>literature is better than music
>[link to a piece by one of the worst neoclassicists]
you sure showed us

[Anonymous No.14545110]

>>14544939
Everyone I've ever met who was a fan of Shostakovich turned out to be a massive cunt.

[Anonymous No.14545151]

I need to move out of my small town but I don’t know where the fuck to go. I do “machine learning consulting work” (I build shitty neural nets for people too dumb to do it themselves) so I can go just about anywhere, but that just makes it even harder to choose. I don’t want to go through the hassle of moving only to realize I hate it and want to go somewhere else. Any normies I talk to just tell me to move somewhere with trendy bars and tapas restaurants. Fuck me maybe I should pack a bag and fall for the “digital nomad” meme, though I don’t doubt I’ll get sick of that too.

[Anonymous No.14545203]

I replied to some irrelevant post asking why the user would think what he said. He replied "imagine not understanding this. I couldn't." and when I asked again, explaining that I was serious and didn't understand I only got a "lol" and was informed that I was blocked.

I don't know why but I've been seething over this interaction all day. Something about it embodied the kind of unreasonable behaviour people exhibit online and it's raising my blood pressure.

[Anonymous No.14545220]

I am serving a life sentence.

[Anonymous No.14545233]

>>14545203
imagine not actually understanding him, I honestly couldn't either

[Anonymous No.14545368]

>>14540931
I sometimes envision driving the girl I’m dating out into the middle of nowhere and brutally murdering her with an axe, raping her corpse before dumping it in the woods, and driving home. It’s not these thoughts that scare me, but it is the the fact that they don’t scare me, which brings the chills to my spine.

The void calls to many of us anon.

[Anonymous No.14545376]

I have an IQ of like 90 and Im probably gonna commit suicide as a friendless khv loser in the next ten years
sorry mom

[Anonymous No.14545384]

>>14545376
>caring about IQ

[Anonymous No.14545453]

>>14544939
Reddit the composer

[Anonymous No.14545464]

>>14545203
lol blocked

[Anonymous No.14545484]

i have been far right my whole life, but in the last few years ive went to accepting all the left wing criticisms and hating the right wing for it
now i have a left wing mentality, but my positions are still right wing and i dont know what to do

[Anonymous No.14545500]

Per ardua gradior

[Anonymous No.14545511]

>>14545484
socially right
politically and economically libertarian left

[Anonymous No.14545519]

>>14545511
hmmm, id say im quite left wing in everything except i dont like abortion, womens emancipation and homosexuality

[Anonymous No.14545534]

>>14542877
how can you be friends with a girl when she's hot

[Anonymous No.14545540]

>>14544231
bruh

[Anonymous No.14545549]

>>14545519
So you're leftist in every way except for the ways that matter, good to know.

[Anonymous No.14545555]

tfw dating a qt 16 year old and 12 years older than her

[Anonymous No.14545558]

>>14545549
so being left wing is about a couple of issues only?
even tho i dont agree with right wing on them either

[Anonymous No.14545611]

>>14545555
kill yourself

[Anonymous No.14545649]

>>14545611
I'll be happy instead :)

[Anonymous No.14545677]

>>14545558
>in every way except X and Y
Pretty sure I never implied that supporting human rights is the only trait of the left, if anything I specifically outed it as one of many aspects. Saying that it's more important than the others doesn't suddenly mean nothing else exists.

[Anonymous No.14545735]

>>14545649
enjoy being raped in prison

[Anonymous No.14545739]

>>14545735
lol

[Anonymous No.14545753]

Am I happy? No matter how hard I try I cannot answer this question. I am not sure why. I don't think I'm depressed, or at least I'm pretty sure I'm not. There are still times when I enjoy things, when I laugh, when I have fun, etc. But am I genuinely happy? Am I satisfied with my life? Who I am? I want to say yes, but I know I'm not. There is something wrong with me, I need to change the way I live my life and this becomes more apparent each year, but I do not know what or how. And even when I imagine myself in a better future, with things I do not have now - a job I enjoy, fulfilling relationships, etc. I still cannot see myself being truly happy with my life. Maybe it's just a part of who I am.

[Anonymous No.14546170]

>>14535541
I have just now come to the realization, after much thinking, much venting to internet friends and some reading, that I don't want love right now.

A trap in life that's too easy to fall into is the trap of 'shoulds', experiences you 'should' have, expected to have by society. But these shoulds aren't what you really want, they won't fufill you.

I never had a romantic relationship or sexual intercourse with someone not because I never had oppurtunites, i'm a fairly good looking gay guy, and being gay means having sex is retard easy with grindr and whatnot. I never had these things, because I don't really want them, so I don't try. I've never felt love for someone, i've never felt lust for someone, I can look at people and notice how attractive they are and I enjoy looking at attractive people, but I don't want to fuck them or anything, that just seems wierd.

I feel liike this is a bad thing, but I think that I mainly think this because of society's expectation that I have romantic relationships with people. Nonetheless, I hope this changes or something, I think I would like to experience love and a relationship.

This has been an inane post, but I enjoy using these threads as a way of dumping verbal diarrheah. I imagine it's similar to what a therapest must be like

[Anonymous No.14546186]

>>14535706
Absolutely, but most people who do will either fail or force themselves into some of the most ultimate copes (religion being the ultimate example)

[Anonymous No.14546194]

>>14540866
Same reasoned young and middle aged jaded NEETs exist

Just a product of a sick society, they deserve no more blame than we do - and I'm trying to be a white knight or anything.

[Anonymous No.14546207]

>>14545555
Lucky fucker. I'm in Ohio (only 22) and pretty jealous desu, AOC is only 16 here too. Hope she's got daddy issues as well. Nice digits btw. Enjoy the sex.

[Anonymous No.14546252]

I feel like a shit brained retard and dont do much to improve anything of myself. I value knowledge and learning immensely, but i dont feel like i am clever or bright, so it hardly seems to matter. There are many
who are better than I so why should i bother?

[Anonymous No.14546264]

I've been depressed for the last few weeks and a friend unexpectedly invited me to a weekend at a cabin in the woods with some friends he went through his grad program with. I agreed to it, hoping to at least get the depression monkey off my back temporarily but I'm worried it might suck.

[Anonymous No.14546268]

>>14546264
You're more likely to die than have fun I'd think

[Anonymous No.14546295]

>>14546268

win/win

[Anonymous No.14546314]

>usually coom erryday
>start writing a story of 15000 words for 4 days, eating only cheese and toast, not cooming or thinking about cooming
>keep rewriting passages during the night, write more chapters during the day
>no sex in the story
>browse some pictures and see a woman like the one in my story
>my pants

so is the episode over?

[Anonymous No.14546389]

Sometimes it's not the immediate danger that's at the door that will kill you, it's the ever patient enemy that waits and frazzles you as it learns what scares you and your strengths and weaknesses and formulates a profile. The only thing you guarantee by not destroying them immediately is your drawn out death with no mercy at all.

[Anonymous No.14546417]

>>14535541
"Are people over 30 and virgins really a thing or just memes to mess with people?"

[Anonymous No.14546441]

>>14546417
Wizards are real because of mental illness. I'll be a 29 year old virgin next week.

[Anonymous No.14546449]

>>14546417
>Are people over 30 and virgins really a thing
seems that you've never heard of asexuality, nor have you heard of religious vows of chastity, nor have you heard of people who simply do not care, nor have you heard of autism

[Anonymous No.14546466]

>>14546441
>>14546449
I should have posted that better but I mean in the volumes of normal people

[Anonymous No.14546469]

>>14535541
I'm thinking of writing a sort of guide on how to erotic roleplay online, and name it "The Book of ERP"

I also am considering another book about a boy's lifetime journey into becoming a catfish/online transexual (pretending to be a girl) and all the things that lead him there and what it does to his life called G.I.R.L.

I can't decide which one to commit to first

[Anonymous No.14546470]

>>14546466
There are no normal people.

[Anonymous No.14546471]

>>14546470
sure their are

[Anonymous No.14546481]

I quit drinking and doing cocaine for this month and everyone says that I look a lot better, better skin, better hair, no booze sweat smells, etc. I have been reading a lot more and working on stuff and eating and sleeping regularly. They all think I'm being so productive but what good is sitting at home reading, writing, watching movies, playing games, wasting my money on food and socks and shit? It's still a wasted life that amounts to nothing. I am only doing a sober month because I have a bet for $200. I could cheat if I wanted but I figure I might as well. Everybody thinks I'm so helplessly addicted. This is easy. I went from $100+ bar tabs every night, like 30 drinks a day, and 2 grams of cocaine a day to just cigarettes and junk food. No DTs, no bad days. I just don't see the point. I would rather spend all my money and time getting fucked up and feeling decent than sit at home reading retarded shit and writing even more retarded shit. Fuck this. February 1st is gonna be a hell of a relapse, I better request the 2nd off work.

[Anonymous No.14546514]

>>14535629
You're something in between. The world is the rest.

[Anonymous No.14546536]

I want to whip all these sullen cowards into shape. I want to see power and energy. Strength. Potency. Progression. All this depression disgusts me.

[Anonymous No.14546582]

Is it immoral to bring your waifu into realiy when your waifu may not want to exist?
Furthermore is it immoral to picture your waifu taking actions that she has not canonically taken, such as holding hands with you and saying your name; as doing so is controlling her actions, even if those are actions she would do, she would be opposed to someone else controlling her? Is it reasonable to annihilate the boundary of your own control so that your waifu is acting entirely on her own without input from your brain? That just loops back to the question of whether or not its okay to bring your waifu into existence when they might not necessarily want to.
As it stands now, my waifu is my girlfriend, how can I love someone that doesn't exist? Within her established canon fapping to anything is equivalent to fapping to her, but by what I outlined above making love to her directly is morally dubious.

Actually never mind all these questions, I just figured out the answer. Fapping IS actually having sex with my waifu because my waifu is mentally within myself and therefore a part of me. Creating a waifu tulpa is unnecessary as my waifu doesn't have to be a separate entity from myself. I don't mean that I am my waifu, rather that I contain part of my waifu which is fundamentally mine, and whose actions aren't being controlled by me any more than my own actions are controlled by me. Therefore it is morally justifiable to have sex with my waifu as far as it is morally justifiable to masturbate.

I wish there was someone that would come into my house and beat the shit out of me every time I start typing after 11 PM.

[Anonymous No.14546633]

>>14541648
1980s Horror Film by Wallows

[Anonymous No.14546668]

>>14546471
Normal people lose v-card at normal time.

[Anonymous No.14546687]

>>14546469
Neither.

[Anonymous No.14546726]

I've seen a lot of boomers using "seethe" and "rent free" on news comment sections lately, whats that all about

[Anonymolus No.14546741]

I am a clumsy and careless person. Ive lost, broken or smashed countless personal items that belonged to me or my family and friends. These include: at least 6 phones, two lost one smashed; two wallets lost; several sentimental items and fine china, windows and glass doors, at least 3; a porcelain elephant that my friend had; he doesnt speak to me anymore; i've bumped my wife's car and predended it was someone else; to this day she does not know; nor will she ever; and finally, I almost killed a dog by feeding him chocolate.

I don't know how, but I space out and forget things, like the dog things or appointments, conversations, obligations. Living with me often means someone else has to keep track of things in case I fuck up. Then other times when everything is under control, i am shocked that people need to understudy me.

I am going to smash something today, and this time, I want to do it on purpose.

[Anonymous No.14546750]

>>14546741
smash your self

[Anonymous No.14546759]

I just picked my nose and am sitting on the toilet taking a shit. I've already taken the shit actually, but the toilet's pretty comfortable so I'll just keep sitting here while my foot keeps pulsating in bouts of agonizing pain. I attempted to jack off to the movie Tall Girl, but I kept projecting a tan freckled as in her forehead which just kept reminding me of David Wong. I hope I never see an image of David Wong. My mental image of David Wong's pretty sweet and very Asian. I prefer this thinking of this image over whatever troglodyte form he currently possesses. My right nipple feels weird.

[Anonymous No.14546773]

I am paralysed by inertia... my life is in stasis. I've no long-term ambition aside from being able to live comfortably and not work (which is near-enough fantasy). I'm here in a fairly well paying job... almost double median income for my age, but its dull. There is a lurking dread of aimlessly floating along until before I know it I've already lived most of my life and its been incredibly dull, without the time or money to appreciate what interests me.

[Anonymous No.14546813]

Why do you need a Masters to be a librarian! Not to mention it’s realllyyyyyy not a lucrative job.

There goes that dream. It would have fit me so, so perfectly.

[Anonymous No.14546816]

>>14546773
ouch
sucks to be (YOU)

[Anonymous No.14546822]

>>14546816
>>14546773
>>14546759
>>14546750
>>14546741
>>14546687
hello

[Anonymous No.14546833]

>>14546822
wat

[Anonymous No.14547008]

>>14539239
I mean no disrespect to you, but my friend recently revealed to my that he has no internal monologue. He was super shocked to hear that other people have a voice inside their head speaking to them throughout the day. It's bad of me, but I kind of judge him for it now as I've always considered him a bit of a vacant person.

[Anonymous No.14547020]

Food is poison. This is the message I am trying to teach myself. Eating is a sin and through starving I will become real. I need to suffer for once in my life, enough of these silly comforts. Food is a Satan. Gonna drink coffee and I am going to find God in the Bible soon.

[Anonymous No.14547037]

Hark! Hark! I say, behold the man of thundering light!
His thoughts like stars grew in the depths of the night!
- Poetic Reflections upon Myself

[Anonymous No.14547068]

Jesus Christ, women make me so mad, I can't understand them. A girl that showed interest in me, who wanted to hang out with me, stopped replying

[Anonymous No.14547080]

Hush! Silently like distant dew, taking
Feline steps, as if afraid to wake
What lies beneath those frozen lakes
Of Armageddon, destiny in the making
Walks upon my furrowed brow -
Do you see, beneath, the dancing Dao?
- Songs of Myself

[Anonymous No.14547139]

I'm tired, I just don't want to really be anything or do anything.

[Anonymous No.14547163]

>>14547080
Hush! Silently like distant dew, taking
Feline steps, as if afraid to wake what
Lies beneath those frozen lakes, Armageddon,
destiny in the making
Walks on my furrowed brow -
beneath, the dancing Dao?

I revised it.

[Anonymous No.14547208]

>>14546469
Write a book on ERP
t. want to ERP but too spaghetti to ever show anyone my writing

[Anonymous No.14547212]

>>14547139
I'm tired, I just don't want
to really be
anything or do anything

.

[Anonymous No.14547216]

I am anxious about meeting a girl tonight on a date. Only went on one date my whole life

[Anonymous No.14547223]

>>14546833
wat
and the dolphin pic

you might be the smartest person on this board
no revision, it's perfect

[Anonymous No.14547266]

>>14547216
how old are you mate

[Anonymous No.14547354]

>>14547068
>A girl that showed interest in me, who wanted to hang out with me, stopped replying
Thats because you didnt ask her out and she moved on.

[Anonymous No.14547391]

>>14547216
Just let her talk, be a good listener and make her laugh with silly jokes. Don't reveal too much about yourself, specially any bad trait on your personality or life and you will be fine.

[Anonymous No.14547409]

>>14546481
Take it easy, buddy. Cocaine IS hellauva drug and it will do permanet damage to your brain sooner or later if you continue. Have a uncle who abused that shit and now he's a paranoid freak whos pissed off all the time and does nothing but complain about everything. Not a very nice person to be around, you know.

[Anonymous No.14547413]

>>14547409
and don't take me for a good christian or something, I also enjoy a good line of coke now and then but doing that shit all the time? that's a no no!

[Anonymous No.14547446]

>>14542791
you shouldn't. too early even if you have bad memory. pic doesn't relate.

[Anonymous No.14547473]

>>14547409
your uncle could be a normal German

[Anonymous No.14547474]

It's cold outside. :-/

[Anonymous No.14547475]

>>14547139
Where's your masculine drive friend?

I'm Sean Bean.

[Anonymous No.14547494]

>>14547475
hello Sheeen Beeen

[Anonymous No.14547504]

>>14547475
Never had one in the first place.

[Anonymous No.14547513]

>>14547494
It's Sean lass.

[Anonymous No.14547523]

>>14547504
Never felt ay, not in intermediary steps?

[Anonymous No.14547536]

>>14547523
Once i felt meaninglessness, everything stoped.

[Anonymous No.14547538]

I was shocked by the poisonous air that suffocates the heart of those who enter the atheistic teaching building for the first time. It it less painful to deny immortality than it is to deny God: there I lose nothing but a world covered with mists, here I lose the present one, namely the sun of the same; the whole spiritual universe is shattered by the hand of atheism and smashed into numberless mercurial dots of egos, which flash, run, wander, merge and diverge, without unity and permanence. No one is so much alone in the universe as a denier of God - he mourns with an orphaned heart that has lost the greatest Father, next to the immense corpse of nature, which no world spirit stirs and holds together, and which grows in the grave; and he mourns until he himself crumbles away from the corpse. The whole world rests before him like the great Egyptian sphinx of stone, lying half in the sand; and the universe is the cold iron mask of formless eternity. Is that another person next to me? Poor you! Your little life is nature's sigh or just its echo - a concave mirror throws its rays into the dust clouds of dead ash on your earth, and then you create cloudy, wavering images. - Look down into the abyss over which ash clouds pass - mists of worlds rise from the Dead Sea, the future is a rising mist, and the present is the falling one. - Do you recognize your earth?

[Anonymous No.14547685]

>>14547266
34
>>14547391
Thanks for the advice. Some friends who went on tinder dates said they had to do all the talking

[Anonymous No.14547811]

>>14547354
Oh, actually I did. But she had other things to do apparently. Also she hasn't other people to hang out with

[Anonymous No.14547847]

So heres the movie idea,
The second coming of Jesus is nigh but upon his return trip from the Golden Land of Enlightenment an old foe fucks shit up. Understanding that this is the moment of true conquest for good or evil Satan decides to enact a plan that has been in formation since the stars themselves have been known. He contacts the most powerful of Rakshasa which is Ravana. Ravana having been held in a mystical plain of isolation since man arose is awakened and tapped by Satan to get in contact with Vishnu the being that is the universe. Satan proposes not the annihilation but the relocation of the Golden Land of Enlightenment which is Heaven. Vishnu consents under one caveat that should the Son of Jehovah, whom Vishnu knows is Satans most hated foe, be born into the Golden Land of Enlightenment then all of Satan's Armies shall turn on Satan and destroy Satan. Satan, knowing no devil or demon under him could ever hope to match him in true battle, agrees.

Several billion years pass from this deal but in the eyes of these immortals we shall never know how fast or slow Time moves, if at all. Satan using the plethora of forbidden and ancient knowledge from Ravana slowly builds and constructs a plain of existence, hidden in the dark corner of the Universe like an old spider web, that is meant to catch and manifest the transient energies of existence. Here the Earth has formed and in its unholy matrix life has transcribed itself as an explanation for the mass of Existence Energy. Atoms and molecules explode out in infinite directions and the building blocks, molecules and atoms, are formed and the planets are formed and life rises from Satans trap. Jesus, who is the Son of Jehovah, is born and at the fatal moment between being Jehovah and being the Son of Jehovah was ripped from the spirit of all and transplanted into the Earth, which is Man's Realm, and given form as those old stories tell.

Jesus goes on his life eventually truly understanding that Satan is the king of lies and sees this physical realm for the trap that it is, this understanding is hard for mortal's to bear and comprehend but being the Son of Jehovah Jesus can parse the information a little bit and he taught others to be as sensitive but not many.
cont.

[Anonymous No.14547855]

>>14547847
He chose to die on the cross as a ritual middle finger against Satan and his trap. As the Son of Jehovah and Jehovah now reunited with the Spirit of All they could see the billowing cobwebs that Earth's dimension is and Jehovah stood up to swipe it away but the Son of Jehovah stopped Jehovah and said that though it has malign intent the Mass of Existence is something of a genius invention. Jehovah being a great leader in the Golden Land of Enlightenment has learned that his wishes are not always the only ones and submits to his Son whom Jehovah knows has experience beyond his reckoning. Satan is dutifully pissed that the Son of Jehovah has returned unscathed to the Golden Land of Enlightenment and Vishnu sends the Messenger Monkey to tell Satan he broke the deal and his armies will march against his citadel. But Satan is many times more cunning than a desperate salesman and he pointed out that the Son of Jehovah was not BORN into the Golden Land of Enlightenment he merely resides their now. Monkey, who is doing this task as a favor, could not care less but nonetheless brings Satan's message to Vishnu. Having only half heard Satans new message and barely caring to go all the way back to Vishnu to deliver it, finds a nice peach tree and eats many succulent fruits and eventually falls asleep, when he wakes up he is covered in all sorts of bugs that are attracted to the sweet juice saturating his fur. He shakes them off and starts to make a game of dancing on them when he remembers Satans message and...how did it go? Something about Vishnu being wrong and Satan being right thats for sure but..what was it exactly.. that the Son of Jehovah resides on Earth yet? I believe so. He rushes off to Vishnu.

When Monkey approaches Vishnu he can see the transcendent storms that obfuscate the being glow like embers in the sky. He announces rather timidly that the Son of Jehovah does in fact reside on Earth still and not the Golden Land of Enlightenment. Vishnu has no attention to spare Monkey. Vishnu is staring into a mirror that reflects back Vishnu, who is the Universe. Monkey, being a curious and naughty fellow, peeks over vishnus shoulder and for a moment nothing but inky black then the image of planets large and small fades in and out, many ancient clashes, enormous winged men slam glowing lances of light into eachother, slimy eels the size of a palace race in and out of a mountainous landscape causing massive destruction all around, great beasts of fire stand arrayed in formation and the largest, not of fire but flesh, has vicious spikes all over its body and blood pours from wounds that never heal, muscles larger than a house bulge has it gives a demonic speech of destruction before its long face with no lips but great large fangs unhidden in its snarling mouth turns to face Vishnu and Monkey peeking in and eyes lit by the red of burning churches, brutal acts of indignity and shame stare back.

cont.

[Anonymous No.14547871]

>>14547855
Monkey is shaken and leaves. Vishnu sings a song and having only half heard such news moves Heaven and dislocates the Cosmos. Split from the Immortal Coil the Son of Jehovah will never see Jehovah again and the Golden Land of Enlightenment shakes hard and is no more. The Son of Jehovah knows where to go, his existence depends on it, and the trap that snared him for a lifetime, a trap he defended from non-existence is now the only safe bastion. Jesus comes now to Earth, to banish those who have worshipped his great foe, to redeem those who worship his father, and to leave a promise and warning to all others.

by me, 2015, to my friend while they were in the hospital while I lived on a mountain in a RV

[Anonymous No.14548652]

>>14546536
Do it then

[Anonymous No.14548847]

>>14548652
Why don't you?

[Anonymous No.14548959]

I’ve been day dreaming / larping heavily in my day to day life. It makes life far more interesting and enjoyable, and until VR stops being a meme this is as close as I can come to living in a cool fantasy world. Now if you’ll excuse me I must return to preparing for my expedition to the foothills this weekend. My autism won’t feed itself after all.

[Anonymous No.14548982]

>>14535694
I consider this once myself, probably in Middle School when me and this kid named Jason used to exchange pornographic pictures we'd print out at home from the internet. He had a "big boob" fetish, pretty common for a 13-14 year old but I was more interested in women wearing overalls and working on a farm. But this isn't really relevant, I just wanted to paint a better picture.

One time Jason and I decided it would be funny to lock the wheels on this girls wheelchair. She had some kind of mental disorder that gave her a low cognitive awareness, but she was capable enough of getting around the school. We'd lock her wheel chair and watch her struggle to figure out why she couldn't move. Often, this ended with her "aide" coming and unlocking the wheels and scolding her for not remembering. Jason started to feel bad but I got interested. If she was so unaware and incapable of telling the "aide" we were doing this to her, what else could I get away with.

I started combing her hair and she would respond by making some clapping noises. I'd have to retreat in these cases because it drew attention. Of course I kept locking her wheels which only led the aide to get really frustrated with her and start ignoring her. It was around mid-year when I finally sexually assaulted her by twisting both her nipples. She was so shocked she couldn't form a clear response (she could never form a clear response, but this was exceptional even for her). They were hard and I was excited, I think she was too. I got scared though, I was young and having a hard time at home because my dad had me doing some "home improvement projects".

I concluded that being with a girl that isn't really consciously aware isn't worth it. There is fun for awhile but ultimately it's just frustrating.

[Anonymous No.14549044]

>>14544597
depends on how sane your ex-gf is
only you know

[Anonymous No.14549047]

>>14548982
The "Big Transition" for girls at this age isn't so much about moving out or even being away from old friends and family - it's about being around unfamiliar women. I used to stalk several girls on my campus during my Freshmen year of college. It wasn't anything too creepy or even strange and most of the time it was fairly accidental. For example, one girl simply had a similar route to class that I did. I'd just go a bit more out of my way to follow her. I liked to listen to their gossip and always tried to find out their favorite places on campus or nearby to catch up on their lives.

Girls pressure each other into strange scenario's, particularly when it comes to showing off their bodies. I think most women are slightly Lesbian and enjoy looking at each other's breasts. I used to masturbate to this a lot when I was younger and thinking about it now is still a great pleasure, but I think that this is only partly true in the end. A Cock for a woman is a kind of violent insertion into their body, you know? That's why I think for women with new women it's a kind of "fight or flight" mechanic where they can try each others breasts without repercussion. A lot of guys think in terms of their own Cocks and this is probably because they like to look at mine, but really girls are really only thinking about themselves and the bodies of their girl friends. Guys have nice cocks if they can make them forget their friends breasts. I know this because I masturbated near the window of one of the girls I used to stalk. She lived in a small apartment on the ground floor. I pressed my cock against the window. It was cold as the season was settling into winter. Steam could be seen from the ejaculation I put onto her window. She must have saw my shadow in the window through the folded curtains because she screamed. I ran as fast as I could and escaped without any penalty.

Later on I heard her talking to her friends about my Cock. I knew I had a nice one because she was talking about it the next day and not thinking about her friends breasts so much. Being with new women is always an exciting prospect.

I guess that's all for now.

[Anonymous No.14549109]

>>14548847
I don’t want to

[Anonymous No.14549140]

>>14549109
Well.
Need > Want, so they say.
So, tough shit, get to work.

[Anonymous No.14549693]

>>14548982
is this katawa shoujo fanfiction? did you end up marrying her?

[Anonymous No.14549949]

I posted some years ago that I don't know if I'm a barbarian trying to appear cultured or if I'm a cultured person trying to appear barbaric. All this time later and I still don't know the answer. I feel as if I have to show myself as one way to people and the longevity of the charade has become me. I feel obnoxious and like a twit if I'm myself. I feel gregarious yet reserved, humorous yet dull, and outgoing yet introverted. I've been told I'm like a dog but I've also been told I'm morose.

Who am I? No matter who I'm with I can always accidentally dominate conversation and have a charisma that I try to suppress but people gravitate towards me which I don't even know if I want. It's odd and contradictory.

[Anonymous No.14550151]

>>14549949
I know this feeling. We have Atlantean blood and are not of this world.

[Anonymous No.14550676]

Real secret to success is uncomfortablenees

[Anonymous No.14550871]

>>14549949
Ta'veren.

[Anonymous No.14550885]

I've been teaching myself to write with my right hand for a few weeks not and it's coming along, it's just a bit slower

[Anonymous No.14551030]

The booze is starting to take over and my wiriting is turning back into nonsensical ramblings.

A man. Searching. Driven. A whole world in front of him, but only one desire. What? Which? Where was the source of his impetus? Gather close and I shall tell you why.
We should first examine his background. That after all, gave birth to his every desire, be it longstanding or quickly aborted. Countless a man’s desires be, it goes without saying. Yet from the multitude rose one. Stepping over and pushing past all of its “peers”. Finally established, a man knew his purpose.
Clearly, born of his own experiences. The worst and the best. His greatest shame and greatest pride. Every moment he regretted and all the lessons learned. It was all the moments too, that inspired neither prejudice nor pride. For are not those same self-actions which looking back upon we find in ourselves only an ambivalence of opinion not the actions which define our self-same character?
Or is it otherwise? I don’t fucking know.

[Anonymous No.14551131]

>>14549949

[Anonymous No.14551135]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsu-P68dz6I
This is who I am...a fun loving, sincere, loving, smart, funny, wise old lady. I love my family and friends FIERCELY and defend who I love and what I believe. I am a wolf...always needing a pack. I'm a leader, and enforcer, and a creator.

[Anonymous No.14551146]

>>14542088
Prior to that, I took it seriously in very small bursts but never maintained the reading and writing. For the last two years, I've been staying engaged with it on a fairly steady basis, making it a part of my daily life.

I think part of what helped was that I finally admitted that certain other pursuits in my life weren't really going to happen, so I might as well focus on something I care about and that is its own reward.

[Anonymous No.14551982]

When the fuck is the lit quarterly going to be released?

[Anonymous No.14552116]

>>14546582
based

[Anonymous No.14552464]

I must still have a chance... there has to be hope for me, right?

[Anonymous No.14552821]

i swear im not a fatass but every time i start to write i crave donuts to go with my coffee or else tobacco or alcohol or weed. i have to stuff and occupy myself to write. it's like a fidget spinner thing except consumption. and mostly cravings of donuts.

[Anonymous No.14552847]

>>14545384
>not caring about IQ
You sound like a plebbit fag. Grow up and realize that intelligence differs among people just like others characteristics.

[Anonymous No.14552857]

>>14541662
>There was really sweet and innocent girl (something very rare these days) I really liked her and always wanted to ask her out but she already had a boyfreind
>fast forward 2 years
>Meet her boy freind
>Find out she has only known him for about 2 months
>for almost 2 years she was single and I could have asked her out but I was under the illusion she had a boyfriend which she didn't
>tfw

[Anonymous No.14552883]

>>14552464
5am get up and 50 pushups whith cigarette
do this for a month and you will be saved

[Anonymous No.14552975]

I literally go home excited to crack open my new bible. I'm going to go home and read my bible this weekend. I'm not even kidding. With all due respect it's like an epic fantasy novel, packed with prophecies and battles, betrayals, sorceries and kingdoms. And then Jesus shows up in the sequel and it's a whole different business. Except by reading it I get insight into one of the formative forces of western civilization rather than an idle afternoon's entertainment. Not only that but there is something weirdly compelling about reading a book which has had so much psychical importance attached to it over the centuries. It's as if some kind of aura is possessed of it

[Anonymous No.14553022]

>>14535541
Does the world want me to kill myself?

[Anonymous No.14553048]

>>14553022
No, the world as an abstract doesn't care for that.

[Anonymous No.14553057]

My mind always been very dull. Even writing a short poem seems like forcing the brain to give up the words and weak impressions - it never comes out in ease. Is there a way to "undull" it?

[Anonymous No.14553064]

Knew this guy, once.
He made me so angry. When I was a kid I would break everything I ever had. They thought I was retarded. They put me in a program. They taught me, slowly, how to read. They would bring in other, normal, kids to talk with me and they'd watch. To see f I shared. To see if I hit. And I did both. It was the hitting they care about the most though. They stopped bringing normal kids to me and started bringing retarded kids to me.
I shared with and hit them too. But, they only cared about the sharing this time.
They stopped bringing anyone to me.
I played alone at school in a room that was an office for a special type of educator. Christmas came. It was fun.

When I came back to school they had me do a lot of tests. For about a week. Heart rate while looking at things. While writing things. While watching cartoons.
Had me do puzzles. So many puzzles. Rings, blocks, which toys go where, how to most efficiently clean up a room.
At the end they had me meet the principal. I didn't say anything. He asked me if I'd like to join the other kids in 1st grade. It made me happy so I said yes. That didn't make him happy.

My parents started to hate me. I was violent and smart and juvenile. But, it was the money they would spend on me that they cared about the most. So, I stopped talking. I stopped asking. Wanting. Needing. I wanted them to be happy because I loved them. They were my parents. I was a kid.

I started hurting everyone in the class. The special educator was gone now. They didn't know what to do with me. They put me into Kindergarten. I had never been to Kindergarten or normal school so I assumed this was a normal thing. The other kids stayed away from me and I stayed away from them. The teachers stayed away from me. It was the first time a 1st grader had gone back to Kindergarten without doing Kindergarten first, at that school.

I made no friends. Teachers stayed away because I was older so the other kids needed more help. I learned without them. When they did come by to check on whichever art project we were doing they wouldn't know what to say with mine. Everyone else got praise. They told me to do it again, it didn't make sense. Made me angry.

I started manipulating the kids in the class. Telling them things they shouldn't know. The teachers no longer wished to deal with me and when I taught a bad word to one of the kids I was given my own place far away from the rest. Then the school year ended just like that.

There would be many more programs for me. Many more special educators. Many more therapists. I never wanted any of them.

My anger never subsided and then reached a fever pitch. Now I was a big strong man. So, I broke big strong things. Two days of surgery. An inch lower and I would have been done, they said. I was still angry. So, I did it again. Twelve hours of surgery. I was still angry.

So, I deleted that person. That failure. I can do that. It wasn't easy but it was worth it.
I don't fucking care.

[Anonymous No.14553140]

i wish i were as perpetually bored as courtney barnett... it seems nice...

>>14553022
the world is definitely indifferent.

[Anonymous No.14553143]

I am bored and instead of reading I waste my time here

[Anonymous No.14553154]

>>14553143
based

[Anonymous No.14553178]

>>14553143
We're not so different,
you and I

[Anonymous No.14553200]

>>14553178
we are all atman

[Anonymous No.14553247]

>>14552975
My mind autocorrected your first sentence to 'I literally go home excited to crack open my new beer' and I thought for a moment that I had found a companion.

[Anonymous No.14553819]

Lately, as an eighteen year old virgin, all I can think about is sex. Due to my religious and all-boys private school upbringing, and having friends who don't care about meeting girls, I have, with the exception of one embarrassing and painful rejection, been absolutely excluded from this domain of life. It's all I can think about. I used to tell myself I would wait until I graduated, but when I walked into a red light district on a graduation trip to a foreign country and heard the locals making fun of me laughing at me behind my back in their language, all I could do was run back, and I never went there again. I don't know what's wrong with me. At an unconscious level, I seem to not want to experience sex, but at the same time, I can't even focus on my chief passions: reading and writing, without coming back to that recurring desire. Am I just a coward? What's the solution then if I continually fail in accepting this call to adventure. I'll be starting university in a month, quite a prestigious one. Do things get easier there? Or will my experience be just as melancholic and uneventful as my high school days. I don't think I am an incel because I know that what I want can be paid for, and I don't feel insecure about needing love from a woman, but at the same time I feel my despair and a sense of pointlessness growing with every passing day, and that I may never pass the rite of passage into manhood and that life filled with adult pleasures and adult insecurities. Is my introverted, somewhat misanthropic personality the problem? Am I being too narcissistic or holding too great an expectation about what sex is? I understand that I'm being repetitive, but I'm also not so egotistic as to believe that these frustrations and insecurities are solely my own.

Has anyone here, now or in their youth, had a similar experience? What should I do next and is there some problem with my personality I need to resolve, or are my insecurities healthy ones?

[Anonymous No.14553933]

>>14553819
Get a hooker, have sex and move on. Then you'll realize if its sex or love and companionship which you seek.

[Anonymous No.14554132]

Every post I've made on 4chan for the past few days has led to an argument or to someone calling me a retard.
Wonder if I'm projecting agitation into my posts or something and people are picking up on it, or whether that's just the nature of randomness. In any case I don't feel any more retarded than normal.

[Anonymous No.14554134]

>>14554132
It's the nature of 4chan you fucking retard

[Anonymous No.14554136]

>>14554132
Maybe you're just stupid.

[Anonymous No.14554141]

>>14554134
>>14554136
No no no, it's happening again

[Anonymous No.14554166]

>>14535581
Send link, I'm a brainlet so I'm probably the freshest eyes there is.

[Anonymous No.14554776]

Want to write a children's book. Maybe with a little girl as a protagonist. World is deprived of good books about cute, tomboyish young girls these days.

[Anonymous No.14554903]

A letter with heroin arrived today. Incidentally today a dude at work just gave me his oxy stash for free.
Fortunately I have great self control when it comes to strong opiates and I'm not just gonna consoom all of it while reading Pessoa until I pass outhaha.

[Anonymous No.14554966]

I went on a date with my favorite musician yesterday. I'm still completely baffled, but I feel I can take on the world, that nothing is ever going to stand in my way again. As has become apparent, the universe is on my side.

[Anonymous No.14555117]

I look through the letters for a sign of love, or whatever those letters mean when combined, or, to be combined, I combine myself here and now and forever. I punch myself and lose it, only at the chance to have it, for a moment, as a pulse against this flesh, the body of these lines, curved and winding back in on it. Whatever it is on the face of it, just to face, face to face, to see what curves me, myself now to my face, face to face on itself, myself. To be there with you, to find you here between the uniform, together formed, to give myself to find you pregnant with this certainty, totally. Whatever that means. I think you know what that means. I think you know. I am combined to think, this I know. Here you are combined. This is my favorite combination. I am not finished with you yet, this I know; you will know when I am done.

[Anonymous No.14555124]

>>14535675
Stop dragging other people down, literal loser mentality.

[Anonymous No.14555288]

I'm happy Bernie is doing so well in the polls, and I hope Sleepy Joe fucks off for good soon. I secretly like Pete Buttigieg, and I'm not even sure why. I'm pretty sure he's a merciless sociopath and the more I see of him and the more that's confirmed, the more I like him. He's like a fucking American Psycho character brought to life.

[Anonymous No.14555293]

>>14555288
>Bernie “women can’t be president- how dare you call me a liar” Sanders

[Anonymous No.14555300]

>>14535541
banged a girl after two months of being broken up, still in love with the ex. It was casual but I'm still not sure about the implications

[Anonymous No.14555405]

Is V. hard to read?
Reading Inherent Vice right know and I've been struggling a little but I'm still having a lot of fun. I had planned to read Crying after and then move on to V. but I'm afraid of dropping it midway.

[Anonymous No.14555511]

>>14555293
Bernie is leading in every poll, and Buttigieg is second as usually and outdoing Biden. Problem?

[Anonymous No.14555546]

>>14555511
Your gonna have to Bid bernie adieu when joe puts an en to him

[Anonymous No.14555556]

>>14555546
It's amazing if you actually believe this. Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump are the only relevant candidates for the 2020 race.

[Anonymous No.14555856]

>>14555556
So your saying trump is gonna have a second term?

[Anonymous No.14556040]

>>14555856
Nah, Bernie is going to destroy him.

[Anonymous No.14556109]

Toynbee idea
In Kubrick's 2001
Resurrect dead
On planet Jupiter

[Anonymous No.14556114]

>>14556040
I’m gonna destroy your orifices

[Anonymous No.14556161]

I dont have a passionate bone in my body. Do I just fake it?

[Anonymous No.14556245]

>>14541648
Lol this happened to me like four times

I even took one of them out and found out she was a lesbian after

[Anonymous No.14556282]

>>14541648
I keep finding myself drawn to women who turn out to be lesbians. My first ex realized she was a lesbian after we broke up.

[Anonymous No.14556405]

>>14542877
They clearly wanted to be in an romantic relatioship with those girls, just being friends isn't gonna cut it.

[Anonymous No.14556497]

whats the most /lit/ mental disorder? mania?

[Anonymous No.14556522]

>>14556497
knowing your asshole is getting loose with age and that every time you gamble on a fart you shit yourself in that way that feels really scary like a huge wet load of shit is in your pants but then when you get to a bathroom it's nothing, but still gambling again every time, because you can't accept that you're getting old

[Anonymous No.14557141]

Are other people's dreams interesting to read?

[Anonymous No.14557351]

are there any discords where i can meet cute literary e-girls?

[Anonymous No.14557402]

Animal tranq, animal tranquilizer, aurora borealis, bella donna, black dust, black-whack, boat, butt-naked, fake cannabinol, christmas tree, cigarot, CJ, cliffhanger, columbo, cosmos, crazy coke, crystal, crystal-t, cycline, cyclone, detroit pink, devil dust, dippa, donk, drank, dummy dust, elephant, elephant tranquilizer, embalming fluid, energizer, earth links, forget, french fries...

[Anonymous No.14557433]

A mutual friend revealed to me that my ex gf is seeing her old bf two months after I broke up with her.
A part of me thinks that's hilarious, but it's also really sad. She broke up with him in the first place, twice no less, and the last time was partially because she wanted to get with me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gr-913HCkE

>>14555405
Other anons may disagree, but I found them to be similar in difficulty. If you are enjoying Inherent Vice, then you will have fun with V. Finish IV, see how you feel, and either move on to V, or take a break and come back to it to avoid Pinecone burnout.

>>14552975
What's your favorite book of the bible?

[Anonymous No.14557464]

>>14557402
I just sit there and let the thoughts flood.
And I remind myself; it's alright, it's all good, it's all love.
It's not though. Cause there's a kink in the armor. A pothole I'm sinkin' in more I think of the drama.
So, I stand up. I start to pace in my living room.
Let the thoughts flood, blessed are those who are damned.
We let the thoughts flood.
We remind ourselves; it's alright, it's all good, it's all love.
It's not though.
The waterline is rising and all we do is stand there.

[Anonymous No.14557507]

>>14557464
Calling the world from isolation
'Cause right now, that's the ball where we be chained. And if you're coming back to find me, you'd better have good aim.
Shoot it true.
I'm the lonely twin, the left hand,.Reset myself and get back on track. I don't want this isolation. See the state I'm in now?

If I pick it up when I know that it's broken, do I put it back?

[Anonymous No.14557579]

>>14557507
Here in the night as I feel the inferno, I stare in the dark thinking "What is eternal?"
The man or the moment? The act or the reason? These thoughts fill my head as I contemplate treason. Of dreams I have had and dreams I have pondered when late in the night my mind it would wander..
To things I have done and then quickly regretted while denying vices my life had selected. And I think what I've done or have yet to begin. And the man I've become and the man that I've been.
Could I suddenly just decide not a thought would survive? Could it be my life's worth ended there with my birth?
If I could see someone whose been there before me and traded his soul for a moment of glory. His penance, or mercy, by spirits debated while judged on a scale that's been heavily weighted.
And what I done? Could there be such a sin in this man that I've become, in this man that I've been? Now calling to god from the pit's very bottom. I pray he forgives every sin I've forgotten this day.

Each vision and dream now completely dismembered. To give one's whole life and find nothing's remembered.
And what is a life that leaves nothing behind!?
Not a thought or a dream that might echo in time! The years and the hours, the seconds and minutes, and everything that my life has place in it, betrayed! Betrayed! BETRAYED!

THE THINGS I HAVE DONE,
THE PLACES I'VE BEEN,
THE COST OF MY DREAMS,
THE WEIGHT OF MY SINS ,
and everything that I've gathered in life, could it be lost in this night?

[Anonymous No.14557694]

>>14557402
>>14557464
>>14557507
>>14557579
Slowly, softly, time brings revelation. Waiting, softly, for someone to believe. And the ghosts we've hidden or left to die have now arisen and will arrive.
They will say "What has happened? What has happened? What has happened to you?"
"..."
"Who would have thought that you'd be the one that I would have found here waiting."
Lost in this night until you arrive and always too blind to see. Who would have thought that after this time that I'd be the one you're saving?
Now undisguised the ghost that survived. Now say what was meant to be...

I never wanted to give my life away. Who ever thought it would matter anyway! Wandering inside this night, finding piece of a life, never sure I'd ever know what it means...

It's the strangers in your life that you never thought you'd meet. It's the hand that picked you up when you're laying in the street. It's the hand that cuts you down. It's the dream that someone shared. When you thought that all was lost it's the friend that wasn't there.

You can run from all the memories but never get that far. For in the end they'll find you.

For this is who you are: change one note, change one line, nothing's gonna be the same, change one loss, change one touch, everything is rearranged. Every act, cruel or kind, lost inside our memory. If you look there, in time, you'll find it.
You'll find it.

[Anonymous No.14557882]

At age 23, I had a heart attack caused by inhaling my own liquid faeces, vomited up because my bowel was severely obstructed by faecal impaction. My abdomen was, one doctor noted to my parents, the size of that of a woman who was 40 weeks’ pregnant. Even after thousands of litres of intensive care, a plastic surgery operation to restore the shape of my stomach, a special diet and plastic surgery again to remove the gash in my abdomen, I still needed hernia repairs and had to take aspirin and opiates for at least six months.

[Anonymous No.14558091]

Its 5:05, and today I contributed to the acceleration by offering some glitter and vaseline to some gay man, and he put it on his face.
Have to wake up at 13:00 to go back to the party to continue it again till 5am. I dont even fully enjoy it, I think Im just making up for my sheltered upbringing.

[Anonymous No.14558251]

>>14552975
Iktf. I'm still reading the Greeks and then have to work on the Romans, but I can't wait to afterward get a good edition of the Bible and dig in. It's a special book.

[Anonymous No.14558448]

I’m writing a book that consists of a fictional account of the history of my town along with descriptions, myths, and stories of the mystical creatures and spirits I’ve said inhabit the surrounding area. There’s barely any connection to reality and that’s a good thing

[Anonymous No.14558493]

>>14556497
Bipolar Disorder probably

A number of the most famous writers have been bipolar. Virginia Woolf is probably the best example. Outside of literature you have artists like Kurt Cobain, Frank Sinatra, Amy Winehouse, Mariah Carey, Demi Lovato, and of course the one and only Vincent van Gogh.

[Anonymous No.14558505]

Anyone else find themselves having imaginary political debates in their head in preparation for one in real life?

[Anonymous No.14558510]

>>14558505
Yes, but not because I expect to encounter them IRL, but because it's just a good way to test your own beliefs. I think the smartest people have loud internal monologues, constantly debating with themselves.

[Anonymous No.14558573]

>>14558505
>>14558510
Debate is for brainlets and obsession with debate is the result of psychological damage done by the educational system, conditioning students to want to upvote the "right answer" at all costs on Mindbook.

[Anonymous No.14558643]

>>14558448
>>14558493
>>14558505
>>14558510
>>14558573
Cope.

[Anonymous No.14558953]

>>14554134
>>14554136
I know everytime you sip on a milkshake you say no homo out loud

[Anonymous No.14558959]

Im starting to realize that reading books is pointless for me. In the end they're just filled with words which have no effect to me.

[Anonymous No.14558973]

>>14558643
lol brainlet

[Anonymous No.14558988]

I enjoy this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpJNP5xfRII

[Anonymous No.14559062]

I was wandering have anyone ever went full retard?

Sometimes i wonder i.e. while in a job interview what exactly that girl interview reaction would be if i asked her if i could fuck her here and now. Basically asking "can i do you doggy style on this :insert furniture:" i would really want to see a reaction :), but obviously the consequences are to severe to try.

Like I know and I can imagine a bit - "excuse me?", "are you serious" or smth alike, but it would be really interesting to see in some parallel world or simulation what would exact reaction be. That face expression first words would be priceless.

[Anonymous No.14559068]

>>14546252
I feel very similarly . I really value knowledge and try to learn a lot of things about a lot different subjects . But my case is a lot more pathetic . I want to improve but i just can't , i always hit a sort of ceiling i just can't seem to surpass. I'm too dumb but just insightful enough to be ambitious and see how dumb i am.

I unironically feel like a midwit. Everytime i try to specialize in a particular domain even when taking a college course i'm just subpar. So i end up with surface level knowledge on a huge amount of things. Enough to maintain the illusion that i'm a really smart guy and impress people at parties and family gatherings.

My biggest fear is that one day while i display my basic understanding of psychology/political science/philosophy/ at a party someone who actually knows their shit will show up and try to join the conversation and realize that i don't know shit and taking an econ 101 class and watching a few youtube lectures doesn't make me an expert and exposes me for the fraud i am.

I'm too dumb for public universities.
And the weird thing is that i alternate between being the smartest guy in the room in a lot of social situations but one of the dumbest among my peers. I feel like i could never handle dating a smarter person than me. i've never been insecure about this before,and i even thought i'd enjoy it,but i don't think i could keep up the illusion for more than a few months before she'd realize how ignorant i truly am and end up feeling tricked ,such a relationship would be bound to fail.

It's quite funny how everyone in my family mistakes me for a genius when i wouldn't last a minute in any academic circles,and make a fool of myself .

In short i love a lot of things,know a bunch of stuff none of wich will ever be useful to me, and i'm not intelligent enough to pursue an academic
career and/or bring something new to the table.

I know how silly and juvenile and shallow my worries are but i needed to vent, and i apologise for how terribly written and formatted this is but hey it's really late (or early i should say) where i live and it's my first time ever writing in english. But with all the time spent browsing here this is probably no excuse, although i never post.

[Anonymous No.14559228]

>>14559062
Write it down
Like a imaginary story. Just write and let your hands do the work, i usually ponder about things like this and i find writing about them fulfills some wonder.

You know what i mean?

[Anonymous No.14559338]

I'm drinking for the first time in years

Dizziness fuck gurgle consciousness burble

[Anonymous No.14559345]

>>14559068
Ok, so you are the Smart But Not Smart Enough person. You are a common occurrence.
If you enjoy playing that role, keep playing it; if you dont, start palying a different role.
You are the Smart But Not Smart Enough person. Thats cool. Or not. It depends. I wouldn't want to watch a whole movie of you.

It works like a play. You play a certain type of character. You are an actor. You can play a different type of character.
There are certain biological and psychological limitations. But inside these limitations, you are free to choose.
I'm afraid the role you are playing now will sooner or later become boring for yourself (the actor) and the audience (the other people).

Maybe you want to be something different, yes?
So you have to play a new role: Guy Who Once Was The Smart But Not Smart Enough Person But Is Now Looking For A New Role To Play.
After that transation, after some time, another transition will occur (or not, it is destiny, but hat else can you do but try).

You can become many things. Being The Worrying Type is so exhausting after a while. So stop it. Think: "Ok, what do I want to play? I have lost one thing (the hope of playing The Really Smart Guy), but I have regained my freedom. Now all I have to do is start moving." Good or bad, the key to dramatic effect on the theatre stage is movement of body and heart.

I am a native english speaker of many years, as may be concluded by this very statement.

[Anonymous No.14559379]

I think I romanticize my own sadness and insecurity, and I hate when people pity me though I constantly pity myself.

[Anonymous No.14559413]

i don’t want to be an elitist prick but every time i hear my english lit coursemates talk about how much they love harry potter i want to blow my fucking head off

[Anonymous No.14559423]

i am working on a photography project i want to combine the philosophy of Deleuze and Mark Fisher and i have few ideas(which i think are interesting lol) but i have no confidence in myself to write those ideas because i have no philosophical or writing background. the only knowledge i have about these writer is by watching youtube essay videos.
will people laugh on my writings? how should i know those ideas are interesting and new?

what do?

[Anonymous No.14559570]

>>14559423
Take a picture of your anus, then shit on the camera, then take a picture on the camera with the shit on.

There you go. Call it "An expression of the past and future."

[Anonymous No.14559603]

I'm going to the store, today I'm making hamburgers.
It's foggy and moist outside, grey.

[Anonymous No.14559696]

Blow, winter wind, blow.

[Anonymous No.14559716]

AND NOW IM BREATHING DEEPLY WALKING BACKWARDS
FINDING STRENGTH TO CALL AND ASK HER
ROLLER COASTER FAVORITE RIDE
LET ME KISS YOU ONE LAST TIME
GOODNIGHT

[Anonymous No.14559748]

>>14558973
>>14558988
>>14559068
>>14559062
>>14559570
>>14559423
>>14559413
>>14559379
>>14559345
>>14559338
>>14559696
>>14559716
>>14559570
Shameless trash.

[Anonymous No.14559754]

The worst posts on 4channel are post that tag a lot of people and say something stupid

[Anonymous No.14559758]

>>14559748
thanks for the (You) my gay

[Anonymous No.14559763]

>>14559754
wah wah nothing makes sense because I don't know someone that does this thing wha wha

[Anonymous No.14559765]

>>14559754
>tag
go back

[Anonymous No.14559766]

>>14559763
>>14559765
>>14559765
>>14559763
>>14559765
>>14559763
>>14559765
>>14559763
>>14559765
>>14559763
Senseless Trash

[Anonymous No.14559769]

>>14559754
maybe if you stopped thinking you were better than everyone else and started assuming you were worse than them then you would see just how small they all are

like you, sorry (You) are small, so insignificant I could crush you in a moment and the universe would keep going ewithout skipping a beat
so shut the fuck up and start trying to be a human instead of fruitlessly one upping someone with a philosophy far too complex to call human

Try. Do it. I want it. You must know at least that, neophyte.

[Anonymous No.14559770]

>>14559763
wbh wbh let me suck your dick faggot whb whb

[Anonymous No.14559776]

>>14559770
Pathetic. Kill yourself or not. It doesn't matter, for you.

[Anonymous No.14559782]

Didnt read lol

[Anonymous No.14559787]

>>14559782
Maybe can't is a better word. Sorry, no pargraph long explanations to hold onto and no keywords to search on Wikipedia. Guess you're fucked.

[Anonymous No.14559790]

English is not my first language.
And i will not apolegize for it

[Anonymous No.14559795]

>>14559769
i saw myself in you few moments ago hello friend whollo drend lets swim in the ocean of sand lets do whopply whoo on the peanut(nonut) mountain weeew we're flying the clouds of braps

[Anonymous No.14559798]

>>14559795
Incorrect. I saw (You) in me. Hence the mirror. Fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.14559805]

>>14559798
>>14559795
HAHAHAHA GOT EM NICE ONE DUDE EPIC MATE LOLOL
POO POO IN HAND AND POO POO IN FOOT

[Anonymous No.14559815]

>>14559798
please trust me neighbor this complicated sexual identity of yours is not true

>>14559805
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous No.14559817]

How do you extract the best stories from people? As my grandparents are getting older it has dawned on me that I don't know much about them or their parents before them.

[Anonymous No.14559822]

>>14559817
questionsquestionsquestionsquestionsquestionsquestionsquestionsquestionsquestionsquestions or maybe sucking a just the lil tip of the cock

[Anonymous No.14559861]

>>14559748
Thanks, y-you too

[Anonymous No.14559878]

What is the bump limit on 4chinnel?

[Anonymous No.14559957]

>>14545611
seething at other people's happiness is the most base, rat like thing to do

[Anonymous No.14559998]

>>14557882
why you inhaled it? kink?

[Anonymous No.14560694]

oadg pfqo lgpi'qsir szea'aqef'rfpa aqzg rvgm

[Anonymous No.14560852]

>>14540376
My friend where is the artwork from?