/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.14456019]

Describe this image in your best prose.

[Anonymous No.14456070]

>>14456019
I want to move there

[Anonymous No.14456143]

To the naked eye it was a marvel of modern engineering, steel and asphalt conquered both the earth and sky. Centuries of architectural discoveries had led to this moment, to this humming hive of convenience and power.
But it was souless. A landscape ontologically oriented towards the lowest common denominator. The bottom line had killed aesthetics. The only real splotches of color were bright and shiny signs, each designed by a marketer who had studied the psychological effects of color in order to attract consumers to their respective stores in the same fashion a moth is drawn to a flame. Money was their god, and their god was an all consuming fire.

[Anonymous No.14456368]

>>14456143
nice

[Anonymous No.14456397]

>>14456143
how do i learn to write like that?

[Anonymous No.14456404]

God came in the image He fashioned for man but man killed Him because He did not come in the image they fashioned for themselves.

[Anonymous No.14456407]

Fuck America. Fuck capitalism. Nuke that shithole.

[Anonymous No.14456414]

>>14456143
good writing style, bad intentions
>muh consumer society and capitalism
>advertising bad
>socialism good

[Anonymous No.14456417]

Texas has great highways. Can't say the same for the rest of the state. If HEB was a woman she'd be your friend's fat grandmother who makes meatballs and cakes from scratch every time you two visit and you can't help but notice that your friend is getting pretty pudgy.

[Anonymous No.14456435]

>>14456143
My response to this post:

An ontological nightmare catered toward the lowest common denominator of human: ubiquity of advertisements, omnipresence of satiety: ultramegaoversaturation of conglomerate booksellers, sport authorities, mogul empires, and Parisian wannabe hotel chains.
My wife and I pulled into the Holiday Inn: upon stepping out, the stench and the smell of the capitalist techno-symbiotic-orgulous machine made me irremovably nauseous. I coughed in expletives, and hurried inside. There, a plastic greeter greeted me with the vacant eyes of one who had been absorbed, taken, and (mal)formed by the machine.

Look there, through the window. Do you see the orange safety cones? I would be one of those: plastic, motionless, sedentary, stale, whose only purpose is to stand and look pretty. I would be one of those, forever in inertia, without even the faintest hope of my ever being moved to higher ground: a stiff breeze could knock me over: so too could an ignorant car. Who can tell the driver from the driven?

[Anonymous No.14456444]

>>14456143
>To the naked eye it was a marvel of modern engineering, steel and asphalt conquered both the earth and sky.
Is it acceptable to use a comma instead of a period or semicolon here? Asking for a friend

[Anonymous No.14456451]

>>14456143
Very solid, anon. Good job. One suggested edit:

>...the psychological effects of color in order to attract consumers to their respective stores in the same fashion a moth is drawn to a flame...

The 'moth to flame' simile is so overdone these days that it's become a cliche. I'd consider a different comparison. Even if you are trying to be playful by baking a tired cliche into your description of the image of boring monotony, I think the particular cliche of a moth and flame is so overused that it distracts your reader from your otherwise fine writing regardless.

But in general, good job and I hope you keep it up.

[Anonymous No.14456467]

>>14456404
based no-punctuation poster

[Anonymous No.14456472]

>>14456444
Nice gets. Unfortunately the anon who wrote that committed a comma splice there: because the clause after the comma is its own independent entity (in terms of grammar), rather than an appositive or subordinate clause, it deserves stronger punctuation. It would take quite a bit of time to get into the nuances that distinguish one's usage of the semicolon from that of the colon, but, suffice it to say, stick with the semicolon or the period unless the preceding clause is LEADING UP TO or INITIATING a thought that would benefit from the inclusion of a colon. A colon has to be not only grammatically correct but semantically appropriate, whereas a semicolon retains more leniency.

[Anonymous No.14456477]

>>14456467
This is silly though: the only place where he would be recommended to have punctuation is after "man." The rest of it would be fine regardless.

[Anonymous No.14456481]

KARL'S GONNA FREAK

[Anonymous No.14456507]

>>14456435
Seek immediate medical attention, it appears that you have swallowed a dictionary.

[Anonymous No.14456538]

Why describe the image, when I can describe the poster? You seek the safety of your echo chambers, where you can repeat your truisms, patting each other on the back. This is so disgustingly unchallenging, so intellectually lazy. There is a reason why this burgerpunk meme never took off.

[Anonymous No.14456545]

the longer i look the better it looks

[Anonymous No.14456549]

>>14456143
>le monies bad xD

[Anonymous No.14456556]

>>14456538
Not him, but I think we can all agree that that image is the epitome of what's wrong today in society: the oversaturation of advertising companies, the endless highway construction, and the never-ending inscrutable speed by which all daily activities are governed. It's a soulless world, Anon, and that picture sums it up in a nutshell.

[Anonymous No.14456580]

>>14456549
>>14456414
>conflating a distaste for modern consumerist culture with anti-capitalist sentiments
This needs to stop

[Anonymous No.14456585]

>>14456580
consumerism is based. grow up

[Anonymous No.14456602]

>>14456549
>>14456580
What the second anon said. No one here is sincerely advocating for the destruction of the capitalist system upon which our society is built; rather, they're critiquing SPECIFICALLY the consumerist aspect of it that has systematically and irrevocably tarnished and diminished literature, art, and music. It is more an argument of preservation--one predicated by defense and protection--than it is of offense and revolution. Critique is implicitly a passive function of dissidence, but not of outright rebellion.

[Anonymous No.14456607]

>>14456556
>soulless world
I start with this because it is so emblematic of your lack of thought, you just repeat fucking memes. Stop babbling just because other people are babbling.
>the oversaturation of advertising companies
What's the alternative? No advertising, no competition, just one product everybody uses?
Like soviet era communists, you demonize advertising, but you have to understand why it works. It's goal is to understand people's desires and wants, you can't make somebody buy something he doesn't want.
>the endless highway construction
What? People need to go places, dumbass
> the never-ending inscrutable speed
get of your ass

[Anonymous No.14456616]

>>14456585
>grow up

Ah. Finally a true argument worthy of the debate floor. Perhaps you'd next like to hit him with a, "you'll understand when you're older"? Maybe post an infographic with no sources? Maybe you'll parrot the ramblings of an American with sunglasses in their yank tank filming aforementioned rambling?

[Anonymous No.14456624]

>>14456607
>It's
I start with this because it so emblematic of your lack of thought. You just repeat grammatical mistakes. Stop using "it's" the contraction when you want "its" the possessive pronoun.
>No advertising, no competition, just one product everybody uses?
The competitive façade of advertising is a myth because the only companies that can even AFFORD to advertise on that scale have already monopolized their respective industry. You're buying into the myth that advertisements even encourage competition: they don't, they're there to reinforce those companies that are already in power.
>People need to go places, dumbass
It's hard to go places when the road you need to go on is blocked up by construction for twenty years.

[Anonymous No.14456625]

>>14456616
cringe

[Anonymous No.14456630]

>>14456019
What would be the opposite of this?

[Anonymous No.14456645]

>>14456624
I won't even bother responding to your non-arguments, sorry. I would be arguing with the collective /pol/-geist, not with an actual person.

[Anonymous No.14456657]

>>14456645
Only a third of my post was dedicated to critiquing your grammar, and it was done so as a parody of yours. That you consider the rest of it a non-argument because of that is proof by admission that you didn't have any substantive thing to say in the first place.

Demap yourself.

[Anonymous No.14456659]

>>14456630

[Anonymous No.14456665]

>>14456659
haha holy shit

[Anonymous No.14456675]

>>14456659
Haiti is a result of colonialism. America is a result of Americans.

[Anonymous No.14456678]

>>14456675
True, without colonialism they would be still in mud huts.

[Anonymous No.14456693]

>>14456019
We vow fidelity to the banner of the Vassal States of England and to the Monarchy for which it upholds many nations beneath Albion indestructible with victory and impudence for all.

[Anonymous No.14456705]

>>14456019
Layers of autoducts blanket the land. Through each flows a stream of belching metal beasts, crawling over hot pavement with rubber grippers.
Thick arteries drain into capillaries, swirl into knotted storerooms before which the beasts park and vomit their fleshy brains, which stumble against the bright sky and heat-bleeding cement into air conditioned storerooms, where they trade hours for objects the beasts help them lug to their domiciles.

I do not remember a smile among them, though one spied replicated grins on the occasional storefront, facsimile humans aping emotions nobody felt.

[Anonymous No.14456712]

>>14456435
Good, but way too wordy. It comes off pseud-y. What’s with all the colons?

[Anonymous No.14456718]

>>14456675
"colonialism"
is that what the youngsters are calling it these days

[Anonymous No.14456725]

>>14456607
You seem like the type of person to buy Ben Shapiro's books. I'm going to attempt to break this down for you.
It's soulless because it does not seek to glorify any higher purpose other than convenience and practicality. Neither of those things are inherently bad, however an architectural movement predicated on those two things alone leave man wanting. A cityscape should be Awe inspiring, and the architecture influenced by the society's respective cultural ideals. The reason it is soulless is because these buildings lack those expressive forms. You'll notice that in an office building, the rooms dedicated to those with the most power are the ones that still have high quality finishes. Fanciful crown molding, intricate lighting designs, etc. While everyone else is left with a bare bones minimalist style. Aesthetic and form are still recognized as symbols of power, and are reserved for those who deserve them. While some rooms in those buildings are absolutely breath-taking, the general population is not able to bear witness to them. This has a profound effect on the psychology of the people who live in this landscape, who only see the manifestation of the bottom dollar in their local space. There is nothing wrong with reserving the best for those at the top of the hierarchy; however if a building dominates the landscape the architects ought to recognize that they have a duty to those passing by the building to make it pleasant to look at.
>no advertising means no competition
I don't believe anyone is genuinely this stupid. The lack of advertisement does not indicate lack of competition, rather a less obnoxious form of it. Advertisement has become more and more obnoxious over the last couple of decades (see the phenomena of super bowl commercials for reference). A landscape that is saturated with obnoxious attention seeking advertisements in combination with a lack of architectural aesthetics will produce people without meaningful ideologies. You can try and argue, sure. But depression rates are skyrocketing and westernization is correlated with depression's global prevalence.
I'm not anti-American, or anti-capitalist. I'm merely describing the phenomena I have witnessed.

The landscape of a place indicates it's values, and guides people's conception of reality subconsciously. This is why many religious buildings are laid out in a particular fashion. It's why feng shui is a thing. Spatial arrangements are important to a society, both culturally and psychologically. This is why I detest "burgerpunk" and bottom dollar architectural design.

[Anonymous No.14456800]

I know this might be offensive to your delicate aesthetic sensibilities. But Linda - you stupid cunt - you don't know half of what's going on here. What do you want, this fucking stopover shithole to look like fucking Amsterdam? Like Barcelona? To look like the fucking European cities that you dreamed about getting fucked in since you were a little girl and wanted nothing more than to be whisked away to Paris by a tall, dark stranger who would rescue you from your shitty life? Well, you little guinea bitch, think again. There's something going on here that you can't possibly understand, that is totally beyond comprehension for your little feeble fucking dago girl brain. What's going on here is raw American industry. Each of these fuckers in their SUV staying in these godforsaken motels, working in these godforsaken office buildings... the amount of income being generated here is more than you could possibly know, don't you know? Don't you know how much money is being made here? The GDP of it all? Don't you know how many, how many industries are being supported here? We're in Texas, I'd reckon everything here is about oil, or something else energy related. So Linda, when you drive your stupid whore friends to Austin in the Hummer for the weekend, think about this place - your existence is what makes this place possible. Your desires, your needs, what you consume - this place NEEDS to exist to satisfy and support you, one way or another. Your disgust at this place is nothing more than a disgust towards yourself.

[Anonymous No.14456859]

>>14456630

[Anonymous No.14456868]

>>14456859
Place is absolutely mobbed with chinese tourists

[Anonymous No.14456870]

>>14456414
Based retard

[Anonymous No.14456872]

>>14456407
Best post in the entire thread. If it was a book I would read it.

[Anonymous No.14456878]

butt plug fill me with monster energy
anus like a highway with or without me
chryslerisation of humanoid emotion
bar charted child prodigy with a throbbing anoscopy

[Anonymous No.14456887]

>>14456659
That place is the work of Americans.

>>14456678
>>14456718
Based motherfucking retards.

[Anonymous No.14456895]

>>14456143
OK Boomer

[Anonymous No.14456942]

>>14456887
>what common factor is there between Haiti, Somalia, Zimbabwe, Ethiopia, etc.
>I know it must be related to bad white people
do you guys just not have any sense of intellectual integrity at all

[Anonymous No.14456948]

>>14456942
>americans
>white

[Anonymous No.14457126]

>>14456942
Colonial exploitation and the oppression of the native people for imperialist and corporate interest?

[Anonymous No.14457152]

>>14457126

ya bro somalia and haiti were definitely destabilized by america for corporate interests. you fucking imbecile. you fucking moron. read a book

[Anonymous No.14457169]

>>14457152
Did I say America? Do you have burger brain?

[Anonymous No.14457178]

>>14456435
>There, a plastic greeter greeted me with the vacant eyes of one who had been absorbed, taken, and (mal)formed by the machine.
Literally me

[Anonymous No.14457189]

>>14457126
If you look at all the countries that have been colonized by Europeans there isn't really a pattern at all. They tend to just resemble the countries around them populated by similar people. If anything in a place like Africa the only semi-decent countries were the most heavily colonized.

But I know that you know this, and that you're not going to consider the obvious conclusion here and this debate has become tedious, it's always hthe same.

[Anonymous No.14457223]

>>14457169

haiti had deadass 200 years to become a non-shithole. talk about colonialism. fuck outta here

[Anonymous No.14457225]

>>14456585
>>14456549
>>14456414
nosemen detected

[Anonymous No.14457231]

>>14456868
Some places should have tourist caps

[Anonymous No.14457232]

>>14457189
Haha you're absolutely right. How could I not see it was DARKIES who caused all of it? I'm so stupid. My IQ must be sub 80. Am I African? Thank you for enlightening me on complex issues with the simple answer of "it was NIGGERS" all along.

[Anonymous No.14457237]

>>14457225
Edgy kid plz...

[Anonymous No.14457254]

>>14456481
Hahaha kek

Marx?

[Anonymous No.14457264]

>>14457232
Do you have any reason for not believing that? Any evidence that supports the opposite conclusion? Because I sure don't see it.

[Anonymous No.14457277]

>>14456725
>It's soulless because it does not seek to glorify any higher purpose other than convenience and practicality. Neither of those things are inherently bad, however an architectural movement predicated on those two things alone leave man wanting. A cityscape should be Awe inspiring

Cringe

[Anonymous No.14457320]

>>14457277
No. Not him, but he's absolutely right. Imagine living in a city the sole aesthetic of which is drab, monochromatic, and washed-out, wherein the richest people get to live in the most garish, colorful, and ostentatious mansions. A cityscape is the most prominent SIGNIFIER of identity that a city has: if it is lacking in that department, it will come off as unwelcoming and as the very symbol of the portentous facelessness of the symbio-capitalist machine. When aestheticism is sacrificed for practicality and efficiency, one knows the nightmare in which one finds oneself: one sees, then, not only that the beauty of the cities has been vanquished, but so too has art, literature, and music been sacrificed for the sole purpose of propagating plastic ideologies and vacant consumerist agendas. What ever happened to the Paterian credo of "art for art's sake?" What ever happened to Kant's injunction that true beauty lies in that object that is crafted WITHOUT purposiveness, without the purpose of advertising?

[Anonymous No.14457336]

>>14456143
You're not wrong but this is a screed disguised as prose. Pontificate less and narrate.

[Anonymous No.14457355]

>>14456435
are you Dutch or something?

[Anonymous No.14457357]

>>14456019
Does anyone else find this image kind of beautiful in a way, or at least pretty? The scale and the fever of American industry shooting upwards above man's conceit of control over his surroundings into its own kind of wilderness, a jungle of concrete rivers and scintillating SUVs like schools of fish, and untold nooks and crannies in the sprawl where paper blows and birds nest and nameless trees draw breath, untamed by the human hand or even known to the human mind? The only thing I find truly ugly about this picture is the Barnes & Noble sign at the bottom. I hate Barnes & Noble. Whenever I went there in late December to do Christmas shopping with my family I would have to leave for the mall parking lot quickly, suffocated by the air in that coffee-colored chamber where the pretense of cultural sanitation left its mark most clearly, so soulless and so very refined.

[Anonymous No.14457360]

>m-muh murrica dindu nuffin..!!
Grow up children, it's time.

[Anonymous No.14457372]

>>14456451
it's dull and i like it

[Anonymous No.14457379]

>>14457357
Well said: you even got the "its" right (that last remark is not so much a backhanded compliment toward you as it is a nod at the many people who, unfortunately, still confuse the possessive pronoun with the conjunction).
Favorite line:
>>suffocated by the air in that coffee-colored chamber where the pretense of cultural sanitation left its mark most clearly, so soulless and so very refined.
Reason: It's a complex phrase, beginning on "suffocated" as a past participle and then refined and added-on-to by the adjectival relative clause. Finally, that appositive phrase gives the sentence a sense of grim and ironic finality in its brevity.
8/10

[Anonymous No.14457535]

>>14457232
Niggers are genetically inferior, deal with it soiboy.

[Anonymous No.14457554]

>>14457535
yeah, well, deal with your ban :^)

[Anonymous No.14457594]

>>14456705
Regions of autoducts cover the dry land. Finished each runs a flowing of forcing out bimetallic animate beings, creep playing period unpleasant paving with gumshoe grippers. Unintelligible thoroughfares exhaust into capillary vessels, convolution into knobbed storage rooms earlier which the organisms pose and eliminate their fat hits, which move against the buttony flip and heat-bleeding bind into strain fit storage rooms, wherever they social class times for rejects the assailants support them carry to their habitations.

I do not associate a grin among them, tho' one spied replicated smilings on the infrequent front, duplicator frails aping feelings cypher touch.

[Anonymous No.14457692]

How does Japan have soul then?

[Anonymous No.14457777]

>>14456019

[Anonymous No.14457816]

>>14457777
source?

[Anonymous No.14457901]

>>14457594
is this one of those things where you ran the original through a couple translations then put it back into english?

[Anonymous No.14457931]

>>14457777
checked

[Anonymous No.14458446]

>>14456435
>ultramegaoversaturation
This is an actual word?

[Anonymous No.14459135]

>>14456657
>Demap

[Anonymous No.14459772]

>>14457692
because it is folded over a thousand times

[Anonymous No.14459779]

>>14457777
this is cool

[Anonymous No.14460325]

>>14457777
I'd very much like the source of this.

[Anonymous No.14460587]

>>14457816
>>14460325
Somewhere in Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth
>inb4 not literature

[Anonymous No.14460929]

>>14456414
all of those are true though

[Anonymous No.14460993]

>>14458446
you can only use it if you are a chad

[Anonymous No.14461177]

>>14456019
The image of hell is before my eyes cannot be described, the only words that come to mind are those of "man eats man as does a ravenous wolf does to her pup"

[Anonymous No.14461974]

>>14456019

[Anonymous No.14461984]

>>14457254
no Johnson

[Anonymous No.14462545]

>>14456143
try again with less periods, its gonna make it flow better.

[Anonymous No.14463046]

>>14456019
Mists curled and smoked from dark and noisome pools. The reek of them hung stifling in the still air. Far away, now almost due south, the mountain-walls of Mordor loomed, like a black bar of rugged clouds floating above a dangerous fog-bound sea

[Anonymous No.14463286]

>>14456070
I live there. I pass by this part of I-410 every day.

[Anonymous No.14464471]

And lo, the angel soured from out of the abyss, bearing me into the air after so long beneath the earth. "Behold" it cried with a great voice, "the heaven of your reward, the holy land as prophesied'"

I saw a city of great buildings, so clean and perfect in their line they could only have been raised up by the Lord. There were many signs and declarations, which I could understand through the power of the angels' sight, which promised every reward that man could wish for. They spoke of great feasts, libraries of knowledge, and divertisments and enjoyments unknown to mortals. Roads of miraculous design ran throughout this city, and people traveled to and fro in safety and at incredible speed, carried by miraculous force. It was truly the heaven of all mankinds desire.

[Anonymous No.14464514]

>>14456143
Damn, son.

[Anonymous No.14464632]

>>14457336
This

[Anonymous No.14464657]

>>14456143
really good. I shortened it.To the naked eye it was a marvel of modern engineering, steel and asphalt conquered both the earth and sky. Centuries of architectural discoveries had led to this moment, to this humming hive of convenience and power.
But it was souless. A landscape ontologically oriented towards the lowest common denominator. The bottom line had killed aesthetics. The only real splotches of color were the signs filling the air upon poles like leaves to the trunk in this asphalt jungle, like snorkels for the buildings drowning in their genericism and abundance. Here there were two animals, the car herds, which dominated the land moving upon the smooth road, and the walkers hiding on the sidewalks and in the buildings, like the little creatures hiding from the tigers in the bushes.

[Anonymous No.14464766]

Does anyone in this shit hole know how to drive? No, no! Not even himself he realized, having missed his exit, thinking about the extra 40 minutes he would now spend in traffic. He looked around at all the cars and billboards bombarding him and screamed, stuck in his car, vocal cords roiling. In a moment of clarity he heard himself and felt a primal fear of his own voice, finally understanding the power of a battlecry. He became silent and calm and watched a cyclist zip by a line of cars below. Why can't I do that, he thought.

[Anonymous No.14465990]

>>14457357
it's pretty as long as you don't have to live there

[Anonymous No.14466013]

>>14456019
As I drove down the interstate the striped Friday's sign caught my eye. "Have I ever been in a TGI Friday's?" I murmured quietly to myself. In an instant hundreds of scenes in tacky maroon booths surrounded by decorations flooded my mind. Memories of the Ruby Tuesday salad bar stood out the most, my brief obsession with salad's back in 2013 left their name alone in my mind, but I knew I had been in dozens, perhaps a hundred similar places. I concluded I may have never been in a Friday's before, and quickly pulled over. I surrendered to a fun whim, the scent of mozzarella sticks, a blooming onion, or some other appetizer filling my nostrils. Of course, I'll have to think up an excuse for being late to work, but I'll have plenty of opportunities to do that during my meal. Hell, I may even call out sick.

[Anonymous No.14466058]

>>14456580
This to the nth degree. Retards (mainly basic bitch cuckservatives) jump up and down that even hinting at a distaste in consumerist culture is somehow an affront to capitalism. Consumerism is just that, a culture, and degenerate cultures demand degenerate things. Capitalism, as one of many different economic systems, is just a tool to supply that demand.

[Anonymous No.14466193]

>>14456019
just read America by Baudrillard

[Anonymous No.14466203]

>>14456451
I prefer like a fly to shit

[Anonymous No.14466211]

It had no arms. It had no legs. This is how we run our nation.

[Anonymous No.14466236]

>>14457277
Kill yourself

[Anonymous No.14466479]

>>14456019
Not prose, but whatever:

Concrete cleaves the conquered plain; By Circuit City spans torqued terrain.
A city of circuits that rise and weave.
Noted little as the air it breathes.

And cemented along those hollow waves,
A monument made in Medusa’s gaze,
Bob errant boys and maiden wrecks
With questions engraved of where to turn next.

[Anonymous No.14466503]

>>14456143
The five of us sat along the curb halfway between the gas station and the burger joint, each of us no more than 14 years of age.The overbearingly bright marquee of the eatery, McSlunchee’s, glared down upon us with menacing led’s making it hard to look upon without offending the eyes.
“I wants a slunchee box.” Slobbered Moge. “I has a hungry and wants toy.”
“You’re always hungry.” Sniffed Polly, still doing her best of trying to straighten out the tangles of her the ginger colored rat’s nest of a hairdo.
“I wants a toy too.” Babbled her younger brother.
“You has to wait for 9 o clock to come or they won’t offer a new toy, Moge.” Said Brick, the burly kid. “If you go now you’ll get the same toy you already has.”
“I don’t want the same toy.” Moge pouted.
“That’s what I told you.” Said Brick. He then went back to tapping robotically as his McSlunchee’s issued cell phone. He was trying his hardest to play the “win a mcClucker pack” app that guaranteed a free sweaty, chicken-like morsel if you could make the animated cartoon picture of the burger mascot McSlunchee jump by the repeated, fastidious pressing of a button. His pupils dilated at the possibility of a cashless Mclucker.
I didn’t want to be there, sitting with these four on a Monday night. I just wanted to be alone somewhere with Polly. The world sucked less when we were alone. I tried so hard to look at her without making it look like that’s what I was trying to do. I wanted to raid the condiment station of the Taco Poke place across the street and use the complimentary wet naps to clean the dirt from her face and the shit from her fingertips where she’d had to keep emptying the one diaper her brother wore. I wanted to be somewhere else; away from the stinking bins of garbage and boiling grease traps. Away from Moge and his relentless pining for Burgers.l, away from brick and his goddamn soundbite spewing phone as he drooled. I wanted to be free of the noise saturated strip of asphalt and exhaust we called home. The oil slick on the ground between my legs reflected my own face. Dirt smudged cheeks and chin with hair too long to look like a boy. A faded plastic necklace I’d made from string and last years toys from McSlunchee’s. I didn’t like it, but Polly always said she loved it. I was nobody from a strip in the middle of nowhere along the interstate and I could taste metal in my mouth. I just wanted to be somewhere else with her.

-From “The chronicles of burgerworld.”
A burgerpunk cautionary tale

[Anonymous No.14466535]

>>14456414
there's always one retard

[Anonymous No.14466629]

Everything reduced to a destination.

[Anonymous No.14466926]

>>14457277
post physique

[Anonymous No.14466941]

>>14456019
There's best buy where I can buy a TV to watch TV eheh then there's my favorite store sports authorty where I buy my sports jacket GO METS and LOOOOOOTSS OF ROADDDS eheh there's no mcdonalds :(

[Anonymous No.14466953]

>>14456019
BESTBUYSPORTSAUTHORITYTHEPAVILIONSSAMASLECIRCUITCITYLINENSNTHINGSBARNESNOBLESBOOKSELLERSQ101GEICO
how far did i really travel?
it feels like i'm driving in circles. i could get this view at home. is my physical presence even necessary?

[Anonymous No.14467637]

>>14466629
Very true

[Anonymous No.14467675]

>>14456143
God awful, how are so many spastics replying saying this is good?
>The bottom line had killed aesthetics
Hahahah!!

[Anonymous No.14468890]

>>14467675
Cuz it’s alright. Stop jacking it to anime, kid. It’s making you dopey

[Anonymous No.14469253]

>>14468890
It’s not even alright, let alone worthy of all the anons replying to it. How can you read a line like:
>The only real splotches of color were bright and shiny signs, each designed by a marketer who had studied the psychological effects of color in order to attract consumers to their respective stores in the same fashion a moth is drawn to a flame.
and not fall down in second-hand embarrassment at both the banality of what is being said, but also the banality of how it is being said too? The author suffers from logorrhoea, yet laughably has nothing to say!

[Anonymous No.14469291]

>>14469253
At least he’s trying, dip ass.

[Anonymous No.14469302]

>>14469253
can you come up with something better?

[Anonymous No.14469370]

>>14469291
>>14469302
The fat greying metropolis crawled out horizon-ward and I could smell the smell of the people replying to me on 4channel.org/lit/. Both the hot electric farts of the city and the frail insipid parps of anons mingled and became one coalesced stench of gayness and retardation. I left.

[Anonymous No.14469380]

>>14469370
based

[Anonymous No.14469396]

>>14469370
>and I could smell the smell
Bravo

[Anonymous No.14469398]

WASHINGTON: What is this sight?
THANATOS: Your legacy, and mine.
WASHINGTON: Their eyes, they're all so vacant.
THANATOS: Tis the price.
WASHINGTON: For?
THANATOS: Prosperity.
WASHINGTON: Prosperity?
THANATOS: Prosperity.
WASHINGTON, NOW SHAKEN: Those signs, what are they?
THANATOS: Masters and sheepards.
WASHINGTON: But is this land not free?
THANATOS: It is, and this is the price

[Anonymous No.14469414]

>>14469396
Thanks

[Anonymous No.14469422]

>>14469398
Lol please be a joke you incel freak

[Anonymous No.14469429]

>>14456019
It was a civil monument to corporate America's ideal of functionality above all measure of soul. The numerous billboards to local businesses lost any sense of advertisement as they drowned in a sea of their fellow proud strip mall establishments. Connecting these retailers, chain restaurants, and hotels was a field of concrete byways and overpasses directing the mass of consumers to their destinations.

[Anonymous No.14469464]

>>14456019
“Great day to be a cone,” said the cone. All of his friends were enjoying themselves sat on the overpass. The traffic below them screamed in outrage. The bulldozers across the way rumbled along.
“Pavement isn’t too hot today.”
“I concur.”
“Great view.”
“Indeed.”

[Anonymous No.14469474]

>>14469422
It's not
America lost it's soul during reconstruction, we live in it's hollow corpse

[Anonymous No.14469526]

>>14469474
Why, of all gods and minor-gods, would Thanatos be the one to say any of that to Washington? Get the hell out of here you damn pseud!

[Anonymous No.14469549]

Juxtaposition between the iridescent Faustian displays of man's penultimate goal; that is, the want of contrivance for the sake of appeasement that man's base desire of entertainment be fulfilled; yet not so indignant is he as to eat of this tree with fruits plucked with hands betwix prickles and thorns; nay, that his comfort being the ultimate goal, he should arrive at this incalculable moment in history with a jubilee known only to those who's convenience bored him as much as it was his priority; to know hardship for his own sake without knowing hardship for IT'S own sake; serendipitous in it's exaltation of both the atomization of man and the luxury brought henceforth- this is the heart of the matter- displays which slather themselves between the ominous slabs of grey which betray the sweet alure of the lights that beckon man from his cave and into the cold, uncaring embrace of his chief joy.

[Anonymous No.14469614]

>>14469526
Mostly because I wanted to write a little christmas carol inspired thing and thanatos is the god of death. Death, I believe, is modern america's closest companion

[Anonymous No.14469627]

>>14456580
Capitalism itself is cringe though

[Anonymous No.14469813]

>>14469627
Spoken like a true person on the shit end of the stick. It’s fucking great on the other end. Money is the dopeness. I once bribed a pair of rednecks to go against everything they believed in to have gay sex. Their shame was delicious

[Anonymous No.14469821]

>>14469422
Lol, using incel unironically in 2020. You sound like a lefty half-fag

[Anonymous No.14469830]

>>14469302
Sure can, sugartits. That’s my piece above about the kids sitting on the curb, ya dink.

[Anonymous No.14469850]

>>14469813
So you're saying that it's great for the petty and small minded that finds such things amusing. Got you.

[Anonymous No.14469946]

>>14456549
This but unironically

[Anonymous No.14469970]

>>14457357
One of the few actually well written things in this thread

[Anonymous No.14469989]

>>14469850
No but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It’s ok, I don’t expect you to understand. Don’t feel bad, I used to be where you are but I worked hard and now I’m over here. Get to steppin, punchy.

[Anonymous No.14470004]

>>14469989
You worked hard so you could afford to pay rednecks for sex and that brings you satisfaction. Ok, got you. I know your type now and who your heroes are.

[Anonymous No.14470019]

>>14456019
/lit/ will call an image that gives me a lot of nostalgia and context and meaning to what I do everyday soulless from their college dorm built in 1990 located in a crappy state college. I think this is what DFW was trying to say all along.

[Anonymous No.14470030]

>>14456019
I wonder if it would still look soulless under communist rule.

[Anonymous No.14470034]

>>14470030
equally soulless but in a different way. At least under communism it wouldn't pretend to have a soul.

[Anonymous No.14470235]

>>14456019
Behold the city void. Facsimile upon facsimiles seen in every city is the community built upon a shared blueprint. Manufactured, engineered, and procured with you in mind. See the signs which shine beyond the highway horizon, glance across grassy medians where you will find. Buy me. Eat me. Use me. A beautiful woman brandishing a diamond the size of an 18-wheeler flashes by you at 70MPH. Be me. You are hurt, you are lonely. The view from here scars but you cannot express why. It will find you everyday and everywhere from sea to shiny fucking sea you will long for another view, to not see clearly what is not there, missing. You look in the rearview mirror. How empty the city lies. The other cars on the highway have no drivers.

[Anonymous No.14470241]

>>14456019
yak, deculture.

[Anonymous No.14470501]

>>14456675
Actually, that's the result of Hurricane Matthew. Also remember that the earthquake that virtually flattened the country was only six years before this picture.

[Anonymous No.14470575]

>>14456019
why do people act like this isn't great. it would be fun driving around this place and going to different shops. watching the people. messing around with your friends.

[Anonymous No.14471015]

>>14469398
Not bad

[Anonymous No.14471282]

>>14470575
I did that once I felt like a prisoner. I got the sense of being a domesticated animal. Those corporate jungles are one dimensional in spirit. Disneylands in all but name. The shops blared the same garbage radio friendly music, strategically placed there by university trained psychologist assholes to make sure nothing but the most neutered emotions persists in its listeners. Also everything was marked up in price. I honestly wish I could chimp out and burn the place. I would love to smell the commodities burn and appropriate a old pagan god in that very spot.

[Anonymous No.14471360]

>>14456602
My understanding is that post-industrial capitalism and consumerism are essentially one and the same. Critique of one is critique of the other, no?

[Anonymous No.14471391]

>>14466211
huh. kind of really like this.

[Anonymous No.14471435]

>>14456019
The contrast of bright eye-catching billboards with its monotone grey surroundings was what first caught my eye. Circumambient were the vacuous black holes pulling me in, my desire to simply consume reigning paramount as I pull into the closest megacentre. Hating myself internally but surrendering to the interwoven consumerist nature of my very being, that's why I came to this town, and it's why I'll stay.

[Anonymous No.14471438]

>>14471435
Ok we get it you know a lot of big words, now learn how to write

[Anonymous No.14471452]

>>14469821
>using lefty
>using fag
>in 2020
Cringe as heck man, YIKES!

[Anonymous No.14471561]

>>14456019
what is there to say that hasn't already been said? "oh, look at how soulless modernity is! the bare-faced greed, gone unnoticed by eyes glazed over!" yeah no shit. what are you gonna do about it? write a clever prose? you gonna cry? piss your pants? maybe shit and cum? then you eat cheetos and drink coke and type on your box made from chemicals that poison the world, fed by a global network of strip mines and middle managers. you made it shit, because you love shit. you love to hate shit. you could get rid of the things in your life that poison you. you could save your money. you could actually own your life. you could start a family. you could live in the woods, or out of a backpack. or maybe you could go a different route, and fight the enemy you say you hate. it's not hard to figure out where critical infrastructure is. you could do something for once. but you won't. the same goes for me i guess, but we both already knew all of this. we really can't help ourselves, can we? complaining about how bad it is, and how smart we are for seeing it where others don't. but we never do anything, really. i think that makes us worse. we know and we choose not to act. basically i'm a hypocrite and if you don't own a gun you're not /lit/.

>>14456143
>>14456435
>>14456705
>>14456705
>>14457777
>>14466479
>>14469398
>>14469429
>>14470235
>>14471435

boring. everyone already knows this. do you have anything to say that warrants being written?

actual unique posts below
>>14457357
>>14464471
>>14466013
>>14466503
>>14466953
>>14469464

i think this one is ironic
>>14469549

[Anonymous No.14471563]

>>14469464
Love this one

[Anonymous No.14471566]

>>14471561
Your selection of posts is good but your actual writing is boring and facile

[Anonymous No.14471570]

>>14471561
>you could start a family. you could live in the woods,

On my way to do this

[Anonymous No.14471572]

>>14471566
>facile
yeah. it's a fucking imageboard.

[Anonymous No.14471577]

>>14471561
Lol brainlet

[Anonymous No.14471581]

>>14471572
Lol, touchy. You gonna cry?

[Anonymous No.14471583]

>>14471581

[Anonymous No.14471597]

>>14471583
Fair enough

[Anonymous No.14471612]

>>14471561
>what are you gonna do? piss your pants? shit and cum?

[Anonymous No.14471852]

>>14456414
bruh

[Anonymous No.14473230]

>>14470004
You’re projecting awfully hard.

[Anonymous No.14473238]

>>14471452
Using yikes in 2020. I can smell your Nintendo switch from here

[Anonymous No.14473314]

>>14456019
The bottom of a veritable ocean of consumption; waves of humming efficiency built on sediment, populated by thoughtless or near thoughtless actors oscillating between predator and prey at a moment's notice. With every wave crested by the commuter, another subsurface gust of colorful iconography focused on and internalized by one of a million minds who had long forgotten the youthful release of fresh air in their lungs and original thoughts in their heads.

[Anonymous No.14473941]

>>14456019
American (((dream))).

[Anonymous No.14474012]

>>14456143
>lowest common denominator.
Dropped.

[Anonymous No.14474035]

In the whole vast dome of living nature there reigns an open violence. A kind of prescriptive fury which arms all the creatures to their common doom: as soon as you leave the inanimate kingdom you find the decree of violent death inscribed on the very frontiers of life. You feel it already in the vegetable kingdom: from the great catalpa to the humblest herb, how many plants die and how many are killed; but, from the moment you enter the animal kingdom, this law is suddenly in the most dreadful evidence. A Power, a violence, at once hidden and palpable... has in each species appointed a certain number of animals to devour the others... And who, in this general carnage, exterminates him who will exterminate all others? Himself. It is man who is charged with the slaughter of man... The whole earth, perpetually steeped in blood, is nothing but a vast altar upon which all that is living must be sacrificed without end, without measure, without pause, until the consummation of things, until evil is extinct, until the death of death.

[Anonymous No.14474778]

>>14473238
Are you really so thick you can’t see he’s joking?

[Anonymous No.14474795]

>>14456019
cells in a bloodstream

[Anonymous No.14474812]

>>14473230
No, I used induction. Psychoanalytic lingo has no merit. When it comes to judging someone that finds satisfaction from bribing rednecks into having sex with each other, it's easy to see that they're kind of backward in the head, don't you think?

[Anonymous No.14474850]

>>14456019
The date, Sunday, January 5th. 6 am in the morning. Sternly, Lieutenant General Ling reviewed the satellite image again. "Once our tanks have made the beach landings, these freeways will make it easy to move columns up toward Pasadena. Our paratroopers will have secured the best buy as a forward base. I suspect the Americans will put up a bloody fight in Linen's N Things, but they will be distracted once we take the Holiday Inn. Fireteams should be able to provide overwatch on the roof of the office buildings"

Satisfied with with battle plan, the generals signed off on it and submitted it for final approval by Chairman Xi.

[Anonymous No.14474868]

>>14456143
lit confirmed marxist retards

[Anonymous No.14474957]

There was no life for miles. Living things, certainly, but nothing could truly be considered alive in the face of those concrete waves, of the torrential beams of steel and aluminium, and the blare of ever-louder car horns. No land, sans the densely-packed asphalt archipelagos dotting the landscape. No colour, except for the towering, splotchy monuments to Modern Man's appetite. No soul, but the ever-consuming desire for more. Greed was their God, and the strip-mall his temple.

[Anonymous No.14474962]

>>14474812
rednex poke ass all the time. The satisfying part is bribing someone to stray from their morals for something as petty as cash. It’s not something you should do ALL the time, that would just be mean. But to experience someone abandon all that they hold true in exchange of a paycheck isn’t exactly rare. I sleep like a baby.

[Anonymous No.14474994]

>>14474868
>nothing about class struggle but it's still Marxism because i'm just a dumb burger who doesn't read lmao

[Anonymous No.14475260]

>>14456019
This is 410 isn't it?

[Anonymous No.14475377]

>>14456019
The streets folded on a single plane of strip-mall brandings and perpetual construction. An amalgam of traffic in single perspective like those of pre-renaissance paintings, grey scaled with flashes of brilliant reds and yellows meant to catch the lizard brained instincts of the average driver. It was a very hot day and everyone had somewhere to be.

[Anonymous No.14475410]

>>14475377
I actually tried my best, so any critique would be very welcome.

[Anonymous No.14475485]

>>14471282
so much this

[Anonymous No.14475607]

>>14475410
It’s aight

[Anonymous No.14475662]

>>14456019
Finally after thousand years of battles, I'm free from the hell and now I can see the earth for first time in a long time. Only to find me with a soulless world.

[Anonymous No.14475684]

>>14475662
How’s middle school treating you, little fella?

[Anonymous No.14475694]

>>14471435
cringiest one so far

[Anonymous No.14475698]

>>14475684
I have a university degree but English is my second lenguaje.

[Anonymous No.14475699]

>>14456019
concrete linears and advertisements to the plaster stores and all you can breath is fumes from the cars all driven by singles, some out to cover up missed birthdays or last minute anniversaries. its no different anywhere

[Anonymous No.14475708]

>>14475377
it's good senpai, try to expand on your images. I liked the allusion to perspective in art, maybe you could expand on that talking about how the west places in the individual as paramount, for example. also your final sentence is a bit too vague, but still flows nicely, again you could expand on this notion of hurried purpose.
I don't know who said it but i always think of a quote that goes like 'writing is like filling a bucket with sand, editing is forming it into a castle'. I hope this is someway constructive.

[Anonymous No.14475737]

>>14475708
Thanks, my strength is definitely imagery and I think likening those descriptions to a theme is something is a good next step for me.

[Anonymous No.14475777]

>>14456143
Yikes

[Anonymous No.14475800]

>>14475698
Then you’re doing ok. Stay at it

[Anonymous No.14475881]

>>14471282
I don't mean to plagiarize, but I incorporated this into my take on it.>>14475377

The streets fold on a single plane of strip-mall branding and perpetual construction. An amalgam of traffic in single perspective like those of pre-renaissance paintings, grey scaled with flashes of brilliant reds and yellows meant to trap the lizard brained instincts of the average driver. It was a very hot day and everyone had somewhere to be, far from here both in distance and mood.
The infinite rose was budding closed and dead.
I felt like a prisoner. I got the sense of being a domesticated animal. Those corporate jungles are one dimensional in spirit. Disneylands in all but name. The shops blare the same garbage radio friendly music, strategically placed there by university trained psychologist assholes to make sure nothing but the most neutered emotions persist in its listeners, stifling the silent dread. Also, everything was marked up in price and the sales were flashed like miracles, but over expensive even at clearance.. I honestly wish I could let out and burn the place at night. I would love to smell the commodities melt and appropriate an old pagan god in that very spot. To take 15 minutes of pure selfish catharsis, to burn out the slow erosion of pain in my perspective that these places of materialist worship so encourage. Then I'd watch this selfish smoke flow like ribbons over the deadened, natural stars of the city.

[Anonymous No.14476000]

Here is industry: marvel at the stretches of hot asphalt where yesterday's crash is still baking. Vibrant contrast is forced upon the viewer; colours are no longer colours but instead hues which have been saturated beyond any one man's capability to ignore them. In the peripheral of each tired motorist, their wheels rolling over oil-stained rock and slices of windshield, a board of double-breasted suited directors bids them, "Consume me! Consume me! Devour me whole!"

[Anonymous No.14476017]

There are more concrete now than I remembered, I wonder if the new structures made lives better. There use to only be one crooked main road running through some short houses, some were shops, some had people living in them also. The first 'mall' was built a couple years ago, taking up the empty spot beside the town's only meat shop. It captured our attention and our imagination, made us wonder if this was how Vegas started. No one thought about the displaced meat shop, no one ever thinks about those replaced if what replaces them is bigger. It's as if we only worshipped greatness that threatens us.

Over the years one great mall after another is erected, they build new roads too, first at ground level and when they run out of space there, they build highways above the ground. Great stretches of concrete, keeping us connected but divided locally. Beside these roads, buildings grew taller also as if the prophetic architect predicted the explosion of desire that is sure to come. The more we want, the more space we took up.

The highway and malls, and buildings emerged quietly into our lives, first inviting then beckoning us towards them as if they know more about our future than we do. I use to know that only butcher in town, he eventually gave up competing with faceless entities and retired. I meet him again years later, standing among fresh concrete surrounded by greyness, we spoke a few words. "I thought I lost everything when I closed my meat shop", "You look like you are doing alright?", he looked at me with bright sad eyes "no, I really had lost everything". He was one of the lucky ones.

[Anonymous No.14476048]

>>14456630
friendship and sincerity

[Anonymous No.14476051]

>>14456019
Disgusting fucking concrete. And theres signs and names and lines-- just more things to remember. Why cant I just walk to some earthy corner to piss? No, they'd lock me up for that. Why's it so fucking bright?

[Anonymous No.14476074]

>>14476048
A picnic in a mountain valley next to a stream.

[Anonymous No.14476091]

>>14456143
only on nulit would this get mass replies--fuck all of you

[Anonymous No.14476253]

>>14456414
absolute moron.

[Anonymous No.14476276]

>>14456143
>to the naked eye
cliche
>marvel of modern engineering
cliche
>, steel and asphalt conquered both earth and sky
comma splice
>centuries of architectural discoveries
wtf do you mean?
>humming hive
forced, obvious alliteration
>but it was soulless
that was already your point
>ontologically oriented
bad
>lowest common denominator
cliche
>the bottom line had killed aesthetics
horrendous
>in the same fashion a moth is drawn to a flame
cliche
>money was their god
cliche
>their god was an all consuming fire
cliche
or was this purposefully bad and am I missing the joke?

[Anonymous No.14476292]

>>14476276
Kid, shut up. You don’t even write

[Anonymous No.14476299]

>>14476292
>you don't even write
pathetic

[Anonymous No.14476309]

>>14476292
Yet he picked your piece apart and makes some very good points. This is stuff any creative writing prof would cross out in red.

[Anonymous No.14476317]

>>14476276
You’re gay (in a good way).
>>14476292
You’re gay (in a bad way).

[Anonymous No.14476373]

It was like a circuit board of orange cones and concrete overpasses, cars and commerce acting like speeding electrons delivering data, 0s and 1s, into some machine too complex to name. The whole thing was like an organism of pure momentum. Donny looked out above the car's retractable roof and saw signs and advertisements worded like declarations. Best Buy Sports Authority. Pavilions. Holiday Inn. McDonald's. Macy's. I Am that I Am. He couldn't believe how seductive it all was, despite its terror and brute exteriors. Donny continued to drive across the complex's miniature bridges, through its tunnels, and past the walled-off parks constructed before the apartment blocks. He obeyed the traffic signals, made space for the driver's around him. Eventually, without buying anything, Donny followed the exits home. The mere transit had been a kind of purchase.

[Anonymous No.14476404]

>>14476309
It’s not my piece, sugartits.

[Anonymous No.14476443]

>>14476404
Then you're both an idiot in your statement and your attention.

[Anonymous No.14476471]

>>14476443
Yes, but unlike you I’m not new to this board. How’s Reddit these days? You chinstraps still reminiscing about toonami and N64’s?

[Anonymous No.14476486]

>>14476471
You agree you're an idiot and then call me a newfag. Christ man

[Anonymous No.14476491]

>>14456019
A visual cacophony.

[Anonymous No.14476563]

>>14476486
If even an idiot can tell you’re new, then I have bad news.... tell you what, I made a thread that’s a little more your speed. Go play
>>14476557

[Anonymous No.14476611]

>>14456019
The end times were arrived. In a land of concrete and steel the vessels of life hummed along. Not life but unlife. They appeared living. Self propelled, noisy, flashy. All they lacked was sense. The rubber could never feel that road, and that handle would never feel that hand.
A building rose on the right. A layer of concrete followed by a row of desolate windows, housing the hopeless.
"What should I do they wondered?" looking out the window. The all encompasing answer stared them in the face: CONSUME. Run this hedonic treadmill until you are broken and even then only rest with at least one replacement.

[Anonymous No.14476616]

>>14476091
>fuck all of you for replying to this
>he says in a reply to this

[Anonymous No.14476620]

>>14456872
harassment architecture

[Anonymous No.14476629]

>>14476563
literally anyone that can type could call me a newfag, it's a meme that's parroted on this site a thousand times a day.

[Anonymous No.14476636]

>>14456414
uh, yeah. Not a fan of socialism but he doesn't advocate for it. Also, the other two are bad. are you brain-dead? did you get skull fucked by the corporations so much you became gay for them?

[Anonymous No.14476656]

>>14476629
It’s not a meme when it’s the truth. Go be new elsewhere

[Anonymous No.14476657]

>>14456948
never change 4chan

[Anonymous No.14476665]

>>14476656
next you're going to tell me to start with the greeks and read pinecone.

[Anonymous No.14476669]

>>14456019
Waldo was glad he'd worn his grey McDonalds sweater that day.

[Anonymous No.14476724]

>>14456019
clutter. Alas,

[Anonymous No.14476816]

>>14476665
No I’m going to tell you to go fuck yourself with the great state of New Hampshire you tap dancing, cotton candy weak sauce asshole of a pleb. Have some bunnies you soft headed tit

[Anonymous No.14476892]

>>14476816
You finished?

[Anonymous No.14476994]

>>14456019
Don drove through the rolling hills of tarmac, raised up on concrete monoliths over a slow but incessant stream of cars below, through the desert of the real banking the black river. Signs rolled past him as he drove down the overpass, his entire world encapsulated within his car, signs flashing by, signs for services and stores that he didn't know existed, sings that reminded him suddenly of the voids in his life, black holes the shape of a new vacuum cleaner or discount tuxedo. He peered over into another car next to him, a black Toyota sedan, hoping for a glance at the face of another human, but the sun's glare meant all that he saw in the driver's-side window was an inverted and desaturated Best Buy logo, as functional a sign as the reflected object itself.

[Anonymous No.14477022]

>>14476994
Don drove through the rolling hills of tarmac, raised up on concrete monoliths over a slow but incessant stream of cars below, rolling hills that cut through the desert of the real banking that black river. Signs rolled past him as he drove down the overpass, his entire world encapsulated within his car, signs flashing by, signs for services and stores that he didn't know existed, signs that reminded him suddenly of the acute absences in his life, a gaping void the shape of a new vacuum cleaner, a black hole the form of a discount tuxedo. He peered into the car next to him, a black Toyota sedan, hoping for a glance at the face of another human, but the sun's glare reflected in the Toyota's window manifested only an inverted and desaturated sickly yellow Best Buy logo, as functional a sign as the reflected object itself.

slight improvements I guess

[Anonymous No.14477025]

>>14456019
There were sings to the right of him, showing off, wether in bold, cursive, or other lavish writing, the names of various companies and restaurants. The whole of it was a clutter of sloping roads and low leveled buildings. It held only fragmented evidence of a quieter past, when the land was of rolling hills rather than winding pavements, of tall trees instead of towering signs of black metal and plastic, and fields of wild grass which whistled in the wind, as opposed to the sputtering vehicles of the now. The man feared, as he turned in to the leftwards lane, that such a past could be realized only in his mind, and in the writings of men long since gone. And after many hours of thought, driving along that asphalt blanket, he came to see how crowded it all truly was.

[Anonymous No.14477034]

>>14477025
There were signs to the right of him, showing off, wether in bold, cursive, or other lavish writing, the names of various companies and restaurants. The whole of it was a clutter of sloping roads and low leveled buildings. It held only fragmented evidence of a quieter past, when the land was of rolling hills rather than winding pavements, of tall trees instead of towering signs of black metal and plastic, and fields of wild grass which whistled in the wind, as opposed to the sputtering vehicles of the now. The man feared, as he turned in to the leftwards lane, that such a past could be realized only in his mind, and in the writings of men long since gone. And after many hours of thought, driving along that asphalt blanket, he came to see how crowded it all truly was.

Spelling fix.

[Anonymous No.14477084]

>>14456019
Either cars, asphalt, or billboards. That was all I could see in any given direction. The constant stream along the three-dimensional curved tracks made me dizzy. I had to sit down and drink a coke.

[Anonymous No.14477589]

>>14456019
Concrete with signs and cars

[Anonymous No.14477636]

>>14476000

>check em

[Anonymous No.14479042]

>>14456414
you can critique soulless capitalism without being a socialist you know

[Anonymous No.14479547]

>>14476616
Most of the replies are saying it’s good though, it’s not though

[Anonymous No.14479610]

>>14456143
this got progressively worse near the end. the part about guys who studied it was shit

[Anonymous No.14480920]

>>14476276
Tell me again, what's wrong with cliches? It's better than some obscure phrase.

An every alliteration is obvious. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous No.14480968]

>>14456019
The concrete arteries supplying the tumour of American civilisation, clogged plaques of advertising detritus for homogenised comercialism.

[Anonymous No.14480976]

>>14479547
Agreed, it's too long and too literal.

[Anonymous No.14481110]

>>14456019
The highways looped and turned with almost a rhythm in the chaos, and with that chaos was construction, and the construction followed a congealing of cars taking up the passing lane and driving lane like blood coagulating in a vein. This once great luxury had now become an inconvenience for the people stuck (both metaphorically and physically) staring at conglomerates, each of the large signs trampling over on another trying to get stuck drivers' attention. This should have bothered most of them, but they had become so jaded by the experiences of modern living it had not been absurd. The complex maximalism of the current situation had not gave way to stress, but rather peace of mind. It had not matter what day it was or the time or whether the people of San Pedro had work or not, For the Constant occupancy of thought reminded them they were not alone. Everyone was going through the same cycles at the same time. The tiny cogs that made up a great and honest clock of civilization were not going unwinded.

[Anonymous No.14481454]

I don't like these threads.

[Anonymous No.14482158]

>>14480920
>what's wrong with cliches? It's better than some obscure phrase.
a cliche may be better than some (not all) obscure phrases, but it lacks descriptive power. it's lazy and boring writing
>every alliteration is obvious
no

[Anonymous No.14482286]

>>14456602
>>14466058
Why do you believe that capitalism is compatible with anything else than consumer culture?
What happens when you got money but no need to use it to protect yourself or hord it? You consume. What ideology would be strong enough to displace that from being the predominant culture?