ITT: Things nobody on this board has or will ever read.

[Anonymous No.14449251]

Pic related.

[Anonymous No.14449266]

Jewish Literacy
Biblical Literacy
The Book of Jewish Values
Jewish Wisdom
A Code of Jewish Ethics
If Not Now, When?

[Anonymous No.14449269]

>>14449251
The completed version of Critias or Summa Theologiae

[Anonymous No.14449272]

The True History of the Orient

[Anonymous No.14449273]

>>14449251
im going to pick it up once my french becomes adequate to do so, i am excited

[Anonymous No.14449278]

I'm never EVER going to read Pride and Prejudice, sorry, maybe if it was written by a man

[Anonymous No.14449285]

>>14449269
Actually getting the latter this week.

[Anonymous No.14449288]

>>14449251
I'm starting it tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.14449350]

>>14449251
I'm 3 books deep into In Search of Lost Time and it is the most criminally underrated book ever. It would be the perennial #1 in /lit/'s top 100 each year if people on this board actually had the balls to fucking read it

[Anonymous No.14449371]

>>14449251

[Anonymous No.14449380]

Length is hardly an issue, but I started reading Swann's Way and shit is giving Joyce a run for its obtuseness. Nigga spends a page describing how he rests his head on a pillow

[Anonymous No.14449387]

>>14449350
pitch me on it whats so good about it?

[Anonymous No.14449388]

>>14449350
It's number 1 on this list of lists.
https://thegreatestbooks.org/
But yeah /lit/ seems to like the appearance of liking difficult/the greatest stuff, but in reality the top 100 list exposes that they just have good taste in popular books.

[Anonymous No.14449389]

Faux. Try Les enfants du limon by Queneau, sadly.

[Anonymous No.14449398]

What's so good about Proust? I marathoned around three pages of the first book of ISOLT and it seemed to consist of him just going through his life memory by memory. It feels like a cuckhold thing to do spending literally tens of hours reading the life story of some rich Parisian jew.

[Anonymous No.14449516]

>>14449388
>No Celine on the list
It's shit.

[Anonymous No.14449802]

>>14449273
God speed anon, the average french is too retarded to read it nowadays.

[Anonymous No.14449840]

>>14449251
>reading books by closeted gays
no thank you

[Anonymous No.14449858]

>>14449516
Céline is overrated.

[Anonymous No.14449862]

>>14449840
>closeted
Still everybody knew.

[Anonymous No.14449879]

>missing the greatest book of the 20th century
That's why I don't often post in this shithole

[Anonymous No.14449882]

>>14449840
You can't read half of literature then.
And most of the other half is written by other flavors of perverts.

[Anonymous No.14449883]

>>14449251
I've read the first volume

[Laura Numeroff No.14449947]

>>14449251
Damn straight
I’m with McCarthy on this faggot

[Anonymous No.14450012]

>>14449251
I indeed don't read translations. But I speak French fluently and I read À La Recherche Du Temps Perdu.

[Anonymous No.14450027]

>>14449858
Voyage Au Bout De La Nuit is overrated. Mort à Crédit and Bagatelles Pour Un Massacre aren't (at least in French).

[Anonymous No.14450041]

>>14449879
Redpill me on this book anon

[Anonymous No.14450044]

>>14450027
His style is overrated he's a discount version of Léon Bloy, minus the culture and the wit.

[Anonymous No.14450045]

>>14449251
george r. r. martin

[Anonymous No.14450068]

>>14450044
>His style is overrated he's a discount version of Léon Bloy
Vertudieu... ! Quelle connerie.

[Anonymous No.14450070]

>>14449802
Cool it with the islamophobia Anon

[Anonymous No.14450077]

>>14449398
you really don't know what a marathon is. stop talking out of your ass

[Anonymous No.14450080]

>>14449251
Plato/Aristotle

[Anonymous No.14450096]

>>14450068
(Frais arguments, frangin. Il n'empêche que les 3/4 de ce qu'il a écrit va de mauvais à passable amha, rien derrière le style et celui là même n'a rien d'incroyable. J'apprécie ses oeuvres pour ce qu'elles sont mais il faut vraiment arrêter d'en parler comme comme si il était au niveau des plus grands écrivains Français.)
>>14450070
معذرة

[Anonymous No.14450119]

>>14450012
OOOPS forgot to also say that I'm homosexual btw

[Anonymous No.14450267]

>>14449387
His prose are more sublime than most poetry. One can open up any random page in the entire multi-volume work and find an breathtaking combination of beautiful prose and very deep understanding of the human mind. He would be the most quoted author ever if his sentences weren’t so fucking long. He’s the ultimate pleb filter in that sense. Everything one would justifiably hate about, say, Rupi Kaur, he is the exact opposite of.

The way he handles the concept of time and memory is beautiful. It kind of fucks me up right in the feels but I love it. You see characters change over time, especially family members, and it confronts you with age/time/death. Entire lifetimes pass instantly. I feel this way a lot at family gatherings, like with family I only see on holidays, funerals and weddings, and I see them change so much. At these gatherings little comments, ticks and things remind me of past gatherings with these people, where I’m instantly transported to a time when maybe I felt more Christmas magic, hope and happiness as a child, then I think of the relatives from that time who have since deceased, and how I changed so much, and the wildly unpredictable journey between that point and now, and think how wildly unpredictable my future might be. I look around and see some of the people who are now very old, maybe they used to help put up some Christmas lights but now are old and just sitting down not moving, and now a younger person like me is asked to do some of those chores, and I think about how I was at that old person’s spouse’s funeral in the last year or so. Then I think about how soon I’ll be old and decrepit while someone else does these chores for me, and I see my spouse who is helping me with a chore and think they’ll be at my funeral soon, then sitting alone at these family gatherings, getting helped out of cars to and from the event. Several times a year at these family gatherings I feel this and gain a deeper appreciation for Proust, because Proust’s way of thinking helps me appreciate moments of my life more, the passage of time, the inevitability of death, and how we will all end up alone. Montaigne’s essays “On Solitude”, “That to Philosophize is to Learn to Die”, and “The Apology of Raymond Sebond” are great pairings with Proust, and I highly recommend downloading Montaigne’s essays’ audiobook and listening to them between the inevitable weeks-to-months-long breaks you take over the course of reading In Search of Lost Time.

It’s literally a life, with all of the ups and downs, and he intensely reflects on feelings that most people aren’t even aware of, and when you think about those feelings in your own life your life feels so much fuller. He’s so good at drawing out profound meaning and emotions in the most arbitrary situations. It’s the perfect book for people who think their lives are boring, which I imagine is most people who come to this board.

[Anonymous No.14450273]

>>14450096
Et Bloy mériterait une place au Panthéon ? Allons donc... De toute façon, avouons que j’ai toujours privilégié les Bousquet, Hardellet, Queneau, Noël, etc. de ce monde. Cabotins oniriques et autres timides saltimbanques.

[Anonymous No.14450279]

>>14450267
He literally got off to starving rats being tortured by the way. Seems like a horrible person to me!

[Anonymous No.14450286]

>>14450041
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15708221-horcynus-orca

[Anonymous No.14450302]

>>14450273
J’allais oublier Pinget ! Zéro pays zéro.

[Anonymous No.14450305]

>>14450279
That doesn't faze me at all.

First, the truthfulness of that story is highly questionable because the source was one of his disgruntled exes/servants-who-he-banged-frequently who was in love with him.

Second, he allegedly did this at brothels. As the story goes, he allegedly would request the whores/staff that they get a mouse for him and perform the act. This is important to note because it means that this was something on the menu at these places, and not uncommon, so even if it was true it's a reflection of his environment, similar to the argument that we shouldn't acknowledge historical figures who owned slaves (in fact this is a weaker moral point than formerly owning slaves).

Frankly, someone who makes something as beautiful as In Search of Lost Time should be allowed to murder 100 innocent people with no repercussions.

[Anonymous No.14450307]

>>14450273
>Cabotins oniriques et autres timides saltimbanques
Lmao, french is truly the most ridiculous language on earth

[Anonymous No.14450317]

Christ that really is long innit

I'm gonna venture a guess that nobody on /lit/ will read the entire Zohar. It's around twice as long as that, I think the most recent English translation is a dozen volumes.

[Anonymous No.14450325]

>>14450317
Here it is

[Anonymous No.14450326]

>>14450305
Really pathetic outlook. There’s nothing wrong with recognising a great artist but cope stretching to justify every aspect of their life just because of their work reeks of unhealthy worship. In search of lost time is a masterpiece but getting off to the suffering (and death) of an animal is inexcusable, and it was on the “menu” that’s an indictment of human beings rather than an excuse for one man.

[Anonymous No.14450337]

>>14450326
Imagine being this fucking stupid

[Anonymous No.14450344]

>>14450337
Concession accepted!

[Anonymous No.14450348]

>>14450326
Except you are literally using this to discredit him as an artist

[Anonymous No.14450367]

>>14450348
No? Where did I do that? I’ve stated that I think the work is amazing, just that I’m not defending him as a person and literally coping to continue my worship of the individual

[Anonymous No.14450370]

>>14449251
Yeah, I have no desire to read 5000 pages of some dead French Jew rambling on about how his aunts tea cakes were so great or whatever the fuck

[Anonymous No.14450391]

>>14450370
I'd feel offended if you did

[Anonymous No.14450394]

>>14450370
That’s definitely what La Recherche is all about. There’s still Infinite Jest (for you).

[Anonymous No.14450406]

>>14450273
>Et Bloy mériterait une place au Panthéon
>Vouloir une place dans la décharge de la république.
Non, donc le sous Bloy non plus :^) Bloy a une certain substance, Céline pas tellement à mon goût.
>De toute façon, avouons que j’ai toujours privilégié les Bousquet, Hardellet, Queneau, Noël, etc.
Basé.
>>14450307
Come on, this is charming!

[Anonymous No.14450412]

>>14450370
He shit on the jews harder than most writers of his era

[Anonymous No.14450429]

>>14449278
based

[Anonymous No.14450431]

>>14450406
>Bloy a une certain substance, Céline pas tellement à mon goût.
D’accord, oui, je te comprends. Fair enough. Je pense simplement que le styliste qui se satisfait de brûlots est d’abord et avant tout un bavard. Après, Bloy savait pousser la mine, aucun doute là-dessus.

[Anonymous No.14450450]

>>14450267
>His prose
Well most of us would be reading a translation so what the fuck do we care

[Anonymous No.14450456]

>>14449516
Journeys like 85 and death on credit is 500 or so. most people only read journey though, so lists like that are mostly a popularity contest.

[Anonymous No.14450458]

>>14450450
memebrain

[Anonymous No.14450461]

>>14450450
Moncrieff has been said to be just as good as the original

[Anonymous No.14450464]

>>14450450
Wait... You seriously don't know French?

[Anonymous No.14450470]

>>14449398
The main character of the novel is not Jewish nor overtly gay unlike Proust

[Anonymous No.14450482]

>>14450317
>>14450325
Holy fuck. You're right i'm never touching that.

[Anonymous No.14450484]

>>14450464
Why the fuck would you? This ain't the 17th century Pierre.

[Anonymous No.14450485]

>>14450464
No I’m American

[Anonymous No.14450486]

>>14450464
>French
Disgusting

[Anonymous No.14450487]

*blocks your path* (not mine, though)

[Anonymous No.14450489]

>>14450412
Doesn't he defend (((Dreyfus)))?

[Anonymous No.14450490]

>>14450464
What's the point of learning a language that is only spoken in the shittiest European country and a bunch of nigger countries?

[Anonymous No.14450499]

>>14450490
RUDE

[Anonymous No.14450500]

>>14450464
Bvro I already know English German and Spanish and am currently failing to climb Mount Japanese, I don't need to fifth language to attempt.

[Anonymous No.14450510]

>>14450490
Dare I suggest... literature ?

[Anonymous No.14450511]

>>14450499
The shittiest North American country too
Fixed.

[Anonymous No.14450514]

>>14450464
I'd learn Latin, Ancient Greek, German, Russian, Italian, Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese before learning French

[Anonymous No.14450517]

>>14450511
Haiti?

[Anonymous No.14450528]

>>14450499
>posts a nigger country

[Anonymous No.14450530]

>>14450325
Wouldn’t be that bad if you didn’t do it al at once, maybe three volumes a year or so

[Anonymous No.14450531]

>>14450514
Call us back when you learn any one of them bro.

[Anonymous No.14450536]

>>14450531
Never said I will you ugly nerdo

[Anonymous No.14450542]

>>14450536
Oh we know, we know.

[Anonymous No.14450543]

>>14450542
Have sex ugglo

[Anonymous No.14450580]

>>14450286
Woah. Can't wait for the english translation.

[Anonymous No.14450611]

>>14450325
I really want there to be a /pol/tard who read this and the Talmud in an attempt to know his enemy but ended up converting himself.

[Anonymous No.14450621]

>>14449278
hello, based department?

[Anonymous No.14451414]

>>14450500
English is just a French dialect

[Anonymous No.14451425]

>>14449251
Basically anything besides shitty philosophy and theology that they were memed into.

[Anonymous No.14451453]

>>14450489
I mean, Dreyfus was innocent, there's no arguing about that, and him being a Jew literally (literally) does not detract from that

[Anonymous No.14451466]

>>14450267
Are you implying that his prose is more stylish and beautiful than the prose of America's foremost stylist? I find that hard to believe.

[Anonymous No.14451470]

[Anonymous No.14451958]

its like 1900 instagram

[Anonymous No.14452266]

>>14451453
False

All Jews are guilty

[Anonymous No.14453324]

>>14450611
Or a normie who read it and was so disgusted that he became the next Hitler.

[Anonymous No.14453413]

>>14450307
non mais ça c'est parce qu'il écrit comme un pd

[Anonymous No.14453417]

>>14449350

I'm sure it is very good, but part of what's going on is that you have to tell yourself this at the same time so that you don't feel tricked out of several weeks of your life. Cults operate the same way-once you've invested enough time you have to convince yourself it's been worth it or hazard ego death. Again, I'm not saying it isn't actually good, I'm simply remarking that this psychology applies to anything that one voluntarily spends significant time on.

I've owned a personal copy for almost 20 years and I never got past the overture. Now the exercise seems almost absurd as I've never had sex with a woman.

[Anonymous No.14453487]

>>14450370
this. stupid rich cunt doesn't deserve people to read him. if he'd been born a poor boy and had to work fulltime and write on the side he'd get to the fucking point already, aint no one got time for that shit.

DISREGARD ANYTHING WRITTEN BY THE WEALTHY AND PRIVILEGED

[Anonymous No.14453500]

>“…if the author is worth anything, you will not get at his meaning all at once… not that he does not say what he means, and in strong words too; but he cannot say it all; and what is more strange, will not, but in a hidden and in parables… I cannot quite see the reason of this, nor analyze the cruel reticence in the breasts of wise men hich makes them always hide their deeper thought. They do not give it to you by way of help, but of reward; and will make themselves sure that you deserve it before they allow you to reach it…”

Greetings, ADD brainlets who can't concentrate

[Anonymous No.14453902]

>>14449269
do you mean the critias thing as in it's impossible for anyone to read it due to its non-existence?

[Anonymous No.14453903]

>>14449350
I’m finding Swann’s Way to be a bit of a snoozefest, but admittedly I am a brainlet

[Anonymous No.14453911]

>>14449350
Have read it through twice.

[Anonymous No.14453964]

>>14453903

long ago, I read something which suggested that it only starts getting good around books 2-3, which supports the other anon's purported passion now that he's into book 3 or so: into the meat of the story. Speaking crudely, whatever the author has in mind (if it can be compared to a conventional film), things need to be getting good about a third of the way in, to really set the hook.

[Anonymous No.14454016]

>>14453964
Actually it becomes more pot boilerish once Albertine starts running around and therefore less dense, quicker to read, not necessarily better though. That said Books 3 and 7 are probably my favorites.

[Anonymous No.14454046]

>>14449251
>thought about reading Proust
>look att https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/marcel-proust-quotes
>can't see anything remotely good let alone not banal about him
>don't read Proust
you got me op

[Anonymous No.14454075]

>>14450267
Alright, I guess I'll finish Swann's Way now. You convinced me.

[Anonymous No.14454095]

>>14449278
I tried to and it's unbearable.

/lit/ users called me a pleb because Jane Austen is supposedly seen as a 'pleb-filterer' by Anglo imbeciles whose brains would self-destroy after three pages into the Georgics, but I did even somewhat enjoy Northanger Abbey, although it's a mediocre novel - at least some of its pages dwell on meta-literature and architecture, which are things that interest me, even though Austen doesn't have anything new to say about them; P&P, on the other hand, deals only with marriage questions which can be of interest for nobody except young women, though I can't say whether or not it becomes better after page 56, because that's where I stopped. I still will finish reading it someday, because I do not like leaving books unread, but this will be only I after finish other books, that are actually worthy reading, such as the one mentioned by OP (of which I already own the best edition in existence - beautiful and recommended).

[Anonymous No.14454101]

>>14449251
my diary desu

[Anonymous No.14454102]

>>14454046
Most of his sentences do not even fit into the limited space provided by that website.

[Anonymous No.14454204]

>>14453413
La formule était agréable, au contraire. Pd ? Un peu moins. Ça se veut robuste ou quoi ton truc ?

>>14454046
It’s like you guys actively go out of your way to have shit taste. I guess we’re doomed to discuss fucking Bolaño and DFW until the end of time.

[Anonymous No.14454219]

>>14454102
post something good then, an excerpt

[Anonymous No.14454262]

>>14450302
>Pinget
Basé. Littéralement la première fois que je vois ce nom sur /lit/.

[Anonymous No.14454674]

>>14449269
Read the core parts of every question of the summa. I mean the actual arguments from Thomas (about 40% of the total words) and not the endless objections/answers.
It's actually big but not insurmontable size this way, and the flow is considerably improved. The endless back and forth between subjects caused by the ibjections/answer format is what makes it unreadable.

[Anonymous No.14454694]

>>14449251

[Anonymous No.14454703]

>>14454095
>Georgics
>(of which I already own the best edition in existence - beautiful and recommended).
translations?

[Anonymous No.14454704]

>>14450044
He has very little in common with Bloy literary wise. Perhaps they both have some tendency to pamphlets and even that is minor in Céline.

[Anonymous No.14454710]

>>14454095
>when the plebs get filtered by an actual romance novel

[Anonymous No.14454719]

>>14450267
Is his Prose comparable to Joyce?

[Anonymous No.14454720]

>>14450348
HELLO COMPLETE FUCKING BATSHIT INSANE RETARD ALERT!?

[Anonymous No.14454736]

>>14454674
It's a book to be studied not read. That's why.

[Anonymous No.14454739]

>>14453500
>Greetings, ADD brainlets who can't concentrate
Why is it so difficult? Reading 10 pages takes about half an hour not because I can't process the information but because of daydreaming.

[Anonymous No.14454758]

>>14454736
I know it is separated in many questions for this, but it is perfectly readable in one go skipping the academic exposition.

[Anonymous No.14454762]

>Proust
Juif homosexuel. Inintéressant, racontars de la vie de la bourgeoisie juive.

[Anonymous No.14454767]

>>14449269
based, I have all of Kreeft's books.

[Anonymous No.14454798]

>>14454762
Based non chauvinistic frog

[Anonymous No.14454830]

>>14449251
i read in search of lost time when i was 16, a lot of good it did me

[Anonymous No.14454874]

>>14449251
>Sodom and Gomorrah
What happens in this chapter?

I may or may not read In Search of Lost Time depending on this.

[Anonymous No.14454885]

>>14449251
I have that exact boxset whoah haha it's in better condition though, got it for 20aud at a charity book fair.
I'll probably read it when I land a comfy teaching job, as for now I've got a lot of other shit to worry about.

[Anonymous No.14455082]

>>14454095
>the Georgics
post chart

[Anonymous No.14455811]

>>14454874
Shhhhhh, no one tell this closet homo

[Anonymous No.14456086]

>>14449251
There is so much untranslated Islamic literature which I know for a fact none of you have read, not even the S*nnis or even the two or three Shias on this board. There are so many esoteric or magical works written in Arabic and Persian which have hardly been touched by academia, most of which are still in manuscript and haven't been published in printed editions, i.e. al-Buni and pseudo-Buni, many of the Isma'ili works, those by the Hurufis, the Shaykhis, and the Babis, etc. etc., which even if you know Arabic or Persian will still require you to learn to read various styles of handwriting. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Arabic is the most /lit/ language.