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/lit/ - Literature

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1437775 No.1437775 [Reply] [Original]

I wrote a poem for the girl I like. Do you think she'll like it, /lit/?

Katherine, Katherine, where did you go?
No light, no song, no footprints in snow
to lead me to you, oh where did you go?
I see no hair, nor breath, nor dress
I see not the shine of your ivory flesh
in blanketed streets in urban landscapes
Nor do I see any path of escape!

Katherine, Katherine, why did you leave?
Running is only a short-lived reprieve
from living forever at my fireplace,
a painting that never will wrinkle its face,
nor age, nor doubt, but always through time
at fair eyes I'll look at as they look at mine!

Katherine, Katherine, lay at my side;
we'll lay on the beach and wait for the tide
to wash out your body, still and so clean,
cleaned of the sin, my Katherine,
forever you're pure, and always my hands
will guard your fair beauty from time's curs'ed sands!

Katherine, Katherine, kiss me again;
taste of my wine, 'tis tonic I lend
to freeze you in youth, to open your eyes
to why I must never, ever let die
the air of your grace, the glow of your face,
sleep now eternal in hand-knitted lace!

Sleep in my garden, under my tree,
I'll sleep there tonight, and whisper to thee:
"Now you are perfect, always as now,
perfect I'll keep you, that is my vow,
I'll paint you a portrait, eternal Nineteen,
Never you'll age, my Katherine."

>> No.1437798

I was thinking of giving it to her with a red rose and a bottle of wine.

>> No.1437805

Girls love it when guys do romantic stuff like that regardless of how good or bad the poem is. I haven't read yours but I'm already sure she will

>> No.1437809

yeah. good poem.

>> No.1437810

This isn't good poetry, but I imagine that 'Kathereen' will prefer it to grunts of the neanderthals you're competing with.

>> No.1437811

>>1437805

Some girls think it is kind of weird or pretentious, though.

>> No.1437812
File: 3 KB, 126x120, 1290992855944.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1437812

>mfw whenyou rhymed "dress" with "flesh" and "landscapes" with "escape"

Read no further.

>> No.1437819
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1437819

>mfw people think OP is serious

>> No.1437837

Bro

Bro

Your poetry is old school.

>> No.1437843

>I was thinking of giving it to her with a red rose and a bottle of wine.
Make sure to bring the knife you're going to stab her with too you fucking nut

>> No.1437853

>>1437843

Nonsense, knives would ruin her skin. Poisoning is much better, since an in-tact circulatory system allows for easier preservation by way of blood-replacement.

>> No.1437995

>>1437837

New poetry is usually terrible anyway. To quote a post I found on 420chan:

I come up with quasi-meaningful statements
and
place
them
at varying points.
Won't even try rhyming.
<Insert a metaphor here.>
To say something is like a metaphor is a simile is an analogy is recursive.
Can a rhetorical question be a metaphor?
This statement is false.
Go are all generalizations.
Smoke weed erryday
Fuck punctuation,
along with the Man
...randomly add an ellipsis.

the game

>> No.1438004

>>1437995

This shit makes me feel bad. I'd sooner be accused of anachronistic pretentiousness than write bullshit like that (it's woefully prevalent in liberal universities).

>> No.1438019

>>1438004
>I'd sooner be accused of anachronistic pretentiousness than write bullshit like tha

Exactly. People have made the definition of 'poetry' so broad that any paragraph with line breaks can now be called one.

>> No.1438105

ITT people who will never write successful poetry

>> No.1438162

lol, successful poetry. like successful tap dancing.

>> No.1438167

>>1438105
Poetry has always been a decadent, dirty pleasure. Only once you're dead do your poems become "cultured".

>> No.1438173
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1438173

>>1438105

Britain's 'poet laureate' Carol-Ann Duffy recently wrote a poem inspired by the TV show Coronation Street. If this is success, I'd rather be a failure.

Also, if Lord Byron were writing his poems today (even if they were updated to include contemporary satire), they'd be unpopular - remember that.

>> No.1438174

>>1438173
Hooray, you've discovered context!

>> No.1438180

Haha the end reminds me of Tiger Tiger Burning bright when he trys to rhyme eyes and symmetry. Kathrine and Nineteen don't Rhyme unless it's not pronounce kath-er-in but Kath-reen.
Other than that it was great.

>> No.1438185

>>1437812
I say "Orange" more like "Oringe", so I can rhyme it with "Doorhinge", much to the annoyance of my friends.

>> No.1438194

>>1438180
I was pronouncing it like

Kath-er-een

>> No.1438283

>>1437995
>>1438004
>>1438019

Why are sentiments like these so common on this board? Do people not realize there's more to free verse than random line breaks? It's extremely difficult to write anything good in traditional, rigid form for several reasons, not the least of which being that the poet is retreading centuries of already masterful works. I think many people opposed to free verse are those who lack a natural ear for language and therefore can only judge the skill of a poem when comparing it with some sort of template. No matter your personal tastes, you must see that there's a tremendous amount of territory yet to explore in open forms, not so much in closed ones.

>> No.1438292

>>1438283

There's nothing wrong with freeform poetry in itself, and I actually like quite a bit of prose poetry. The problem for me is when people write "poems", with no real grasp of meter, rhyme, or even a very good choice of words, and call it poetry merely because of line breaks. Real poetry should still have a musical quality to it, or the language should be beautiful or feel good as it rolls off the tongue. At the very least, it should be clever. But sometimes I see freeform poetry that just sounds dull.

>> No.1438293

>>1438283
no, i think i know exactly why so many of them feel such a way: they see there own work in the poems

free-verse poems are easy to write, that is fact in the only sense of the word, when writers write poetry on a "novice" level nowadays most people go with free verse, ergo it's easy to see a poem in FV and feel like "that's some shit i would write in high school"

at least that's how it feels to myself
not that free verse isn't a powerful tool if used correctly

>> No.1438306

>>1438293

Exactly. In the same way, some people see a lot of rhyming poetry through the lens of assigned poetry in high school, on the level of "roses are red/violets are blue".

>> No.1438319

>>1438292
>>1438293

Thanks for the well thought out answers, and I agree with many of the things you've said. It'd just be nice to see people here try to critique free verse poetry by its own principles instead of just telling the author "try rhyming." It's the only way writers will learn to crawl up from that high school level.

>> No.1438340

I'm a real newbie when it comes to poetry but I've been reading a lot more of it lately, and one thing that I noticed while reading through my school's literary magazine was the complete lack of any substance in nearly all of the poems. I feel like most just tried to be as cryptic and stylized as possible, while making no effort to make it relatable on either a personal or more human level. Is this just normal for FV or poetry in general, or is it 2deep4me? It just all seemed boring and contrived. Idk, what do you think makes great poetry great?

>> No.1438351

its stuff like this that make relationships fail, it creates expectation between you and when you cant live up to that expectation its over. undeniable fact.

>> No.1438353

>>1438340
>>1438340
i would say it's a combination of things: subtle and simple in design yet not so simple in whole, heavy imagery of course, it helps if there's something to notice every time i re read the poem


lots of other things that are hard to put one's fingers upon

>> No.1438364

>>1438340
Try reading poetry from the Romantic period:

http://www.poetry-archive.com/b/prometheus.html

>> No.1438371

>>1437775
I loved it OP. You will make Katherine very moist.

>> No.1438375

>>1438371

Moist with blood, lul

>> No.1438381

>>1438364

I'm pretty familiar with the Romantic period. It's my bad, I should have specified that I was referring more towards contemporary/modern poetry. I don't think it's an issue of me not liking contemporary poetry, as I've been reading the Best American Poetry of 2010 and have enjoyed a lot of it so far.

>> No.1438389

sweet, op is going to stalk and kill little katie then play dress up with her corpse. i am reminded of a rose for emily.

>> No.1438409

>>1438389
nah, op is just an excitable boy.

>> No.1438452

>>1438389

He just wants to paint her... And sleep on her grave

>> No.1438453

sauce on OP-pic anyone?

>> No.1438457

>>1438453

http://www.evanevanstours.co.uk/jack-the-ripper.htm

>> No.1438489

>>1438283

Saying that we shouldn't use close form poetry because we've "been there done that" isn't a valid argument. Just look at Philip Larkin who was extremely structured in his poetry and that was only 50 years ago.
Besides, structured poetry allows the use of ceasura, enjambment etc. which can be used to convey a meaning which open form will never be able to do.

>> No.1438504

This poem would be 95% less irritating if you spelt it 'Catherine'

>> No.1439348

>>1438504

>implying the name can't be spelled either way

>> No.1439357

>>1439348
no he wasn't implying that. I actually agree with his sentiment.

>> No.1439595

>>1438489

It isn't a valid argument, especially for people who haven't heard the older masters. But to people who are familiar with closed form, you will be measured against the masters. Hence why people like free form, it's easier, it has no Latin terms applied it and you won't be compared to Byron.

Open does have a lot of potential expression, possibly even beyond structured form, but it's easier with less expectations married to it. So of course it's the tool of the masses

>> No.1440932

>>1439595

Really, awareness of good freeform poets needs to be raised.