Write what's on your mind

[Finland No.14287897]

If helping means using violence, one should not help. When you become violent, even if it is to help an innocent person, you are on the same level as the first offender. There is only one kind of violence, blind like a bat, it knows not friend from foe. A punch is a punch. If you say: a punch is not a punch - you are mad, you think too much, if you keep thinking, one day you'll say: rape is like a kiss on a baby's cheek. The problems start when you say: sometimes, violence is okay. Already the world becomes a dark place, where the brightest colour is muddy gray. My aura will be like pure white, once I begin what I dream about every night. I cannot change the world, it is hell - but I have some control over myself. I am not evil if I don't do violence ever: the violent person is evil. Don't look at me angrily, I am the people's friend. There has to be someone who will never do violence, who will always accept you, beacuse the world is a bad place once you want thing to be a certain way.

[Anonymous No.14287976]

Is there a more transcendental experience than having sex with the woman you love? When you're both you the verge of orgasm and in her eyes you have a short glance at what immortality feels like. Oh how I want love to fall upon me once more before I go.

[Finland No.14288046]

>>14287976
Crackcocain

[Anonymous No.14288053]

>>14287897
my crotch smells like rotten milk

[Anonymous No.14288104]

>>14287897
>If helping means using violence, one should not help.
This means you don't have love in you.

[Anonymous No.14288114]

>>14287897
Which books will cure my neurosis regarding seeing myself as the most pathetic person?

[Anonymous No.14288167]

>>14287976
I wish I knew.

[Anonymous No.14288247]

I feel I'm slowly discovering day by day now that I'm not as much of a leftist as I believed, or at least not to the extent others are where it defines their entire personality. Not because I disagree with the things most leftists desire, but because I just don't put money first above everything and I don't even dislike hierarchy. By the way, this isn't about some individualism libertarian shit, I don't mean it like that, I just mean that leftist ideals in and by themselves don't mean much to me beyond economic concerns. I wouldn't care if I lived in a monarchy so long as people still had some degree of economic democracy. Likewise, I could envision a society where I'm even living at the bottom and yet enjoy it, even if it's not a socialist system or, to go one step further, an anarchist one. Hell, I could even imagine, dare I say it, being happy in a capitalist system if the culture around it was appealing to me. That's not to say that I don't want to reduce wealth equality and redistribute wealth, I feel that's a good thing, but for me it being enough that there are no people in perpetual poverty and billionaires with higher income than second world countries GDP would be enough.

[Anonymous No.14288273]

Was there any rabbi who became a kapo during the holocaust?

[Anonymous No.14288274]

>>14288247
The situation with politics is about the relation between what a single individual wants, what any single individual wants, and what possible groupings of individuals want. Maybe, how and why, and the task of the perfect judgement of towards what means and what ends.

[Anonymous No.14288277]

>>14288274

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14288301]

>>14288247
Put money first? Money is just what holds us hostage, in a phony debt to bully elites. Justifiable hierarchies are fine with leftists. But yeah, you just sound like a guy that’ll go with the flow.
I was there too fresh out of my christian conservative phase, but I came out of it worrying about the world (9/11) and studied the problems till I found myself anarchist.
It’s just a label though. I want to fix the world, be a part of what fixes my little corner anyway.
Real cute girl

[Anonymous No.14288347]

>>14287976
When this happened to me, I felt similar to when I saw the milky way for the first time out alone in the wilderness on the top of a mountain. When we climaxed together I felt something like those stars move through me, in a way that I cannot describe. They are linked, small moments where something beyond reveals itself. Do not let it rule you anon.

[Anonymous No.14288356]

>>14288277
I cant watch this clip, describe/transcribe it to me please

[Anonymous No.14288362]

>>14288301
>Money is just what holds us hostage, in a phony debt to bully elites.
That's the thing, I don't feel that way. That's not to say that I don't recognize elites could literally kill me if they wanted to, I know that, and that capitalism has overall a negative influence on my life, but in no way do I feel like I'm held hostage or as if I haven't reached my full potential because capitalism stood in my way. It's just a system I find distasteful and negative overall, but I don't think you can't somehow do what you want because capitalism happens to exist at the same time (assuming you aren't getting actively fucked by wageslavery to the nth degree, but you get what I mean).
>But yeah, you just sound like a guy that’ll go with the flow.
I mean you can't just say that, no. Obviously, I would focus on what's important to me even if an unfair system was in place so long as the level of unfairness was negligible. But would I go with the flow in a system like today, where people in shitholes like America literally die because they can't afford healthcare? No, I wouldn't.
>I was there too fresh out of my christian conservative phase, but I came out of it worrying about the world (9/11) and studied the problems till I found myself anarchist.
I was never really a Christian so I can't relate, though I would describe myself as a very spiritual person (no new age shit).
>It’s just a label though. I want to fix the world, be a part of what fixes my little corner anyway.
Fix the world sounds very dramatic, I think. I just want for things to run well enough so I don't have to worry about tomorrow and can tend to my autism in peace.
>Real cute girl
She's from the retard channel, lol. But yes, she is nice.
>>14288356
It's literally just a character going "..."

[Anonymous No.14288382]

If finite humanity's existence is meaningless, is infinite humanity's existence meaningful?

[Anonymous No.14288390]

>>14287897
Posted about it on /wg/ as well:
Undecided on what to do. I feel like if I go down the STEM path a part of me will die, following my passions will lead me to unemployment though and if feels like I'm postponing adulthood.
I'm losing sleep over this choice and I feel like I'll regret it either way.

[Anonymous No.14288406]

>>14288382
It's the other way around.

[Anonymous No.14288415]

>>14288390
You know those memes about expectation vs. reality? Here's the reality, buddy. College and studying in general is fucking unenjoyable trash that's very likely to diminish your enjoyment of whatever it is you pick. I chose philosophy for this exact reason (thinking it would make me more fulfilled) and I ended up feeling dread and disgust reading books that I previously enjoyed.
Pick a trade (or field) that will get you a job, go, perform well enough to get by, and focus on what's truly meaningful to you in your spare time on your own terms.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14288431]

>>14288362
Your feelings? Then you go on to acknowledge it’s true, but you’re free to avoid the pains others are suffering. I acknowledge that others are suffering more than me, but your comfort levels are just arrogance and willful ignorance. What the kids call “privilege”
>But would I go with the flow in a system like today, where people in shitholes like America literally die because they can't afford healthcare? No, I wouldn't.
Well, they are. Now what? You just said above “I could even imagine, dare I say it, being happy in a capitalist system if the culture around it was appealing to me.” this is how it’s worked. Layers of contentment designed to keep a certain amount of poverty, a certain amount of moderately comfortable, a certain amount of middle class. A caste system based solely on profits and exploitation. It is the new faith of our age and they all buy into it, and bite anyone who questions it.
>Fix the world sounds very dramatic, I think. I just want for things to run well enough so I don't have to worry about tomorrow
It is dramatic, and this is also what I want. I want to relax, be left in peace so I can read and write, tend to a garden.
>retard channel
?
Fucking Monsantos.

[Anonymous No.14288486]

>>14288431
>Your feelings?
What else would it be about? I mean I express solidarity with others, but I am never going to deny the fact that my feelings take precedence over everything else. I wouldn't even respect a person that feels different about themselves than that. That's not to say you can't have the wrong feelings, you can, but that's not the point.
>Then you go on to acknowledge it’s true, but you’re free to avoid the pains others are suffering.
Of course I would avoid the pains, lol, I simply want to remove them altogether, I don't want them inflicted upon me.
>but your comfort levels are just arrogance and willful ignorance.
They're not though, I understand how many people are suffering, it's also irrelevant in addressing what I said. Stop the moral posturing and projection, it's super boring, and you have no idea who I am, what I do, and aren't even bothering responding fairly to the things I've said.
>Well, they are. Now what?
Now you fight to change the system.
>this is how it’s worked.
I don't see how that's how it worked. I mean, did you want me to clarify that the capitalist system would still be pretty decent? I mean I can't envision any capitalist system I would give my endorsement to that currently exists or how existed. The point was only to illustrate that there is a point where you can lay down your arms because the aims of your battle are negligible. I mean you're free to disagree and say that you can't imagine a scenario where capitalism works in a way friendly enough that the negativity created by it would be negligible, but that is exactly what I mean by being too far gone.
>I want to relax, be left in peace so I can read and write, tend to a garden
You don't need to be a hardcore anarchist to do that, so clearly that's not all you want.
>Fucking Monsantos.
I don't know if this is an American thing but I have no idea what that means.

[Anonymous No.14288550]

Bitterness is seeping in through the cracks of my walls. I'm becoming a grumpy defensive man.

[Anonymous No.14288598]

>>14287897
I have no real identity, nothing I can look at and identify as myself. I wish I was a less insufferable person, less cynical, less sneering, but the task is an impossible one. Without any clear identity of my own it's like building a house on sand. As soon as it's expedient, it's straight back to the same old negative attitudes. Even if I were to succeed in my task my past thoughts and actions cannot be undone. They can resurface and ruin everything, but not be undone. I can see no escape from this pit. I deeply wish that one day I could just sit down, decide who I want to be and then work towards that - but so far it's proved an impossible task. There's no clear point at which to begin or to end, and every day that passes is another day without progress.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14288709]

>>14288486
>What else would it be about?
A cold hard fact that the world is one big debtor scheme. But you acknowledge it in the second part of that sentence.
>I understand how many people are suffering,
And you’re willfully ignoring it, I know. Most people do this. It’s rather difficult and tiring to feel for everyone, so naturally we block it off. But that has worked to our collective detriment.
>you’re boring
Not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. There’s far more guilty people out there, and even them I forgive.
>You don't need to be a hardcore anarchist to [relax]
I have to keep working till they don’t want me to anymore. Or win the lottery. No one is taking care of me but myself. My life has been wasted on 5is damn machine
Monsantos makes glyphosate poison and puts it in genetically modified seeds, and sells this world ‘round, and the generation that’s been fed this have shown some serious health problems

>>14288550
Lighten your life, friend.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hBWDIzHldPg

[Anonymous No.14288746]

>>14287897
>When you become violent, even if it is to help an innocent person, you are on the same level as the first offender.
I was going to post but your stupid motherfucking perverted sense of morality, your very effeminate and suicidal sense of morality, is just too irritating not rag on. Dumb fucking cuckold, Jesus H Christ.

[Anonymous No.14288794]

>>14288301
How does It feel to be neither a man nor a woman? I mean, transvestites are such a peculiar cast of people I can't even try to understand how you feel. It must be amazing to rebel against nature itself.

[Anonymous No.14288803]

>>14288709
>A cold hard fact
There's a lot of other cold hard facts that would still be here if we fixed living in a debtor system where most of us are renters living on slave wages, no? I mean, surely, it wouldn't be all roses afterwards.
>And you’re willfully ignoring it, I know.
How do I ignore it? I literally talk about it all the time and try to convert most people I meet to my viewpoint to make the world better. I only "ignore" it if you consider not giving up everything to join a social movement or whatever ignoring it. But even that isn't entirely true since I am in a lefty party in my country and get involved most election cycles. I guess I don't actively bomb train tracks or something, but apart from that, I do about the most that can be expected of a normal person from a small town in a random country.
>But that has worked to our collective detriment.
I mean, not really? You're saying it as if this is just conveniently blocked off. Look at Americans. Trumpfags don't know this, not really, and even if you convinced them of it they'd probably still say fuck niggers and #KAG or whatever. This isn't a matter of people ignoring it, it's unironically a problem with there being too many retards. There's a reason why things that are considered palatable even to actual rightwingers in my country like healthcare would be COMMUNISM in a shithole like America. Even if there's a few people giving their sweat and blood to changing the situation, it won't so long as the vast majority that's actually fucking brain dead doesn't die off or change.
>I have to keep working till they don’t want me to anymore. Or win the lottery.
That wasn't my point. My point was that you could imagine living in a system that wasn't socialist/communist/anarchist and still being able to have a decent life like that, and maybe even for everyone. Maybe not a capitalist or fascist one (since the two are intertwined), but others, maybe. And that's kinda what my point has been all along. It's more important to focus on policies that by now should be normalized all around the world (1 month vacation, 3 day work weeks, healthcare, housing as a right, etc.).
>Monsantos makes glyphosate poison and puts it in genetically modified seeds, and sells this world ‘round, and the generation that’s been fed this have shown some serious health problems
That's pretty bad.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14288847]

>>14288794
Does it sooth you so much to imagine me this way? Do you have some kind of body issues?
I just wish I were young again. Or not so many arches and pains.

>>14288803
Sure. But we’d be able to address these pressing issues. Not so under capitalism/statism. Staying this way is a sure way to extinction.

[Anonymous No.14288879]

It is disheartening how effective adderall has been.

[Anonymous No.14288905]

>>14288847
>>>14288794 (You)
>Does it sooth you so much to imagine me this way?
I just follow the memes, I don't really know you but people here seem to think you are a man.
>Do you have some kind of body issues?
Tbh, I don't really like my body. I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I glance at the mirror and the person staring at me is a stranger, as if I'm disassociating.
>I just wish I were young again.
What do you mean by this?

[Anonymous No.14288915]

>>14287897

If violence is never a proper answer, where do we draw the line? Is restraining someone violent? Is it violent to put someone in prison? Is it violent to threaten to punch someone? Is terrorism violent? is civil protest violent?

that muddy grey water may be muddier than you think.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14288940]

>>14288905
I am actually a woman. Old lit outed me ages ago. Not a camwhore so not interested in flashing body parts at anyone (people have asked. Not accusing you) I wish I were younger because I’m middle aged now. Work is a drag and detrimental in multiple ways.
Sorry about the body issues. Not sure how to help with that.

[Anonymous No.14288972]

>>14288940
how do I stop hating women?

[Anonymous No.14289013]

>>14287897
I'm Italian, came to Britain for a week.
Thought I'd meet some cuties, my goodness was I wrong.
Bong lads I feel bad for you, thought Germany had some ugly ass women, I would have never imagined the misery brits live in.
F

[Anonymous No.14289044]

>>14288915
physical violence and threats of physical violence should be met with death. Armed robbery is attempted murder and is extremely dangerous to the citizenry and should be met with death. Shortly after this there will be no more violence. Civilization functions in peace, the greatest humans in history and their physical and mental inventions and achievements could not have occurred if they were attempting them while being struck with violence (mathematicians, computer makers, construction workers and engineers), violence is the enemy of construction and the stability of the sanctity of society.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14289051]

>>14288972
Stop generalizing. Some women, and obviously some men are worth hating, some are not.
Stop being so judgmental. No one is perfect. You aren’t. Why do they have to be?
Master that.

[Finland No.14289055]

>>14288746
"Unusual" I understand, but "perverted sense of morality"? I just look at my hands and say: don't you hurt anyone, you are only there to shake other hands. This is pretty straight forward. Or do you think the straight forwardness makes it even worse? I blame the bad hands of other people. They try to force me to be like them and I say: no gracias. As for your other insults, I am easy to kill, it's true. You could call that suicidal and effeminate.
If you kill your enemies, they have already won. I now understand these words I sometime laughed at. Violence in any form is truly the worst, the more so because it has become so natural to think of violence as necessary. It is only necessary if the most important thing to you is to exist.
The most unnatural way of acting is actually the best way of acting. I find this to be true in many cases: if you do the opposite of what you are doing now, you will become somewhat like a saint, although, of course, some parts of you you should keep as they are - I just invented this saying. If your mind says: x is natural, try to do the opposite of x. Things will become interesting and strange and sometimes better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHxXtoHOMIg

[Anonymous No.14289058]

>>14288940
>I wish I were younger because I’m middle aged now. Work is a drag and detrimental in multiple ways.
I can relate to that, even if I'm still young. One of my biggest fears is getting old wondering if there's more to life just to realize that the time I spent daydreaming was life all along. But anyway, what do you do for a living?

[Anonymous No.14289076]

where the fuck are all the cute virgin women that want a long wasting relationship at, do they even exist outside of some frige religious groups in the west anymore ?

[Finland No.14289079]

>>14288915
Everything you said is violence in my book, except maybe civil protest, because you just speak your mind. You have to take into account a second category though: harmful and unharmful speak. Advocating the extermination of the jewish people is probably harmful to jewish people and so on, so you shouldn't do it. Only friendliness is allowed, even in disagreeing.

[Anonymous No.14289085]

I wan so badly to escape my lifestyle.

[Anonymous No.14289089]

Kinda came to peace that I really wont become much more than a dilettante. Im not trying to impress anyone anymore

[Anonymous No.14289090]

>>14288390
I really like this picture, thanks for posting it and making me aware of its existence

[Anonymous No.14289099]

>>14288415
>he dosen't know

[Anonymous No.14289111]

>>14289099
its pretty good advice given the context
going to college and majoring in your passion or what you like is a meme
dont take the easy way in regards to college. treat it like the financial investment it is and major in something with a defined career path

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14289145]

>>14289058
Crap service work. My youth was also wasted in feeling terrible angst. I’m oddly serene about this current predicament, though the holidays ruin each and every December of my life, I am currently trying to change things. The scheme is to retire early or at least find less detrimental work... but yeah, I remember those fears. Definitely more mellow about it now.

[Anonymous No.14289160]

>>14287897
This image made me think of pic related.

[Anonymous No.14289164]

>>14287897
>If helping means using violence, one should not help. When you become violent, even if it is to help an innocent person, you are on the same level as the first offender
so all violence is bad?

[Anonymous No.14289168]

>>14287897
This image made me think of this.

[Anonymous No.14289170]

>>14289145
the real question i want to know is why dont you go and find your lesbian lifemate and leave this tender clover field forever

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14289192]

>>14289170
They’re pretty hard to find

[Anonymous No.14289196]

my financial situation

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.14289250]

>>14287897
You are are conflating malicious violence with counterviolence, and/or contingent violence; if you are not willing to fight in pro of justice, and honour, and/or cannot discern between noble and ignoble individuals, then you are a weak and foolish prey of the latter.

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.14289254]

>>14287897
You are are conflating malevolent violence with counterviolence, and/or contingent violence; if you are not willing to fight in pro of justice, and honour, and/or cannot discern between noble and ignoble individuals, then you are a weak and foolish prey of the latter.

[Anonymous No.14289274]

>>14289085
Start small, like very fucking small. form small habits, cut out little things one by one. It's a long road.

[Finland No.14289372]

>>14289254
>You are are conflating malevolent violence with counterviolence, and/or contingent violence
Yes.
>if you are not willing to fight in pro of justice, and honour, then you are a weak and foolish prey of the latter.
See, my defintion of justice is totally different from yours (as far as I can fathom it from your one post). For me, justice is when you act as if you were the other persons best friend, i.e. never harm them, always act benevolent; honour is the same for both of us, I guess, if we understand it as being respected for one's good qualities, the greatest being justice.
>then you are a weak and foolish prey of the latter.
Weakness would be to say and want one thing and to do another, because it's difficult - if this is true, I don't think I fit that category. I am, however, prey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBaOm7d0XR8

[Anonymous No.14289403]

>>14289196
Iktf all too well fren.

[Anonymous No.14289429]

A guy an hero'd himself in my university last day (threw himself off the 4th floor of the campus buildong), and judging by how things are going he might have had a good idea.

[Anonymous No.14289611]

Choosing classes for next semester, can't decide between two. One of the classes is interesting but the teacher writes romance novels and I don't think I will agree with her opinion on teaching English so I'm not sure if I should take it.

>>14289429
Stay strong anon my friend. How much longer do you have at university?

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.14289627]

>>14289372
>For me, justice is when you act as if you were the other persons best friend
If you do not/would not consider the friend of your enemy as your enemy also, then you are either: ethicomorally deficient, and thus lack comprehension of what an enemy is in particular, and of what a villain/evil individual is in general, or are overly insensible toward the mutual affinity shared between villains/your enemies; furthermore - if you do not/would not judge your "friends" based on the ignoble deeds that they may have enacted, then you do not deserve to share in something as precious as friendship.

[Anonymous No.14289681]

>>14289611
Last Semester. Just failed to get my required work experience written off. I went to a Science Conference held every year at school and I was supposed to get a write off with that, turns out even though I didn't place in the top three of my group I got a special place, but even that wasn't enough to pass so two weeks before the end it turns out i might not finish this year.

[Anonymous No.14289682]

I have two things on my mind.

The first is that I've realized I don't have sexual attraction like other people do. When I love someone, I don't think about them sexually and I don't seek sex at all. When I've been presented with nakedness, I've felt uncomfortable, not a sense of desire. I also realize that this explains why I have such negative attitudes towards sexuality, because sex is kind of gross or strange to me, and so when I learn that someone I know has had it or desires it, it leaves me unable to relate to that desire, and not sure how to proceed with interacting with them.

The second thing on my mind is that my daydreaming is quite obstructive. Lately I've been daydreaming about being a nobleman in the Holy Roman Empire, with people I know IRL being transported back in time and interacting with "me" (who is not really me, but a personality trait of mine which is normally suppressed raised to an extreme degree). I think I do this because I have difficulty expressing my real personality with those around me, and so I use daydreaming to allow those suppressed, flamboyant parts of my personality out to them.

[Anonymous No.14289691]

>>14289681
Anon the good news is that is a very small setback in the grand scheme of things. Don't be too harsh on yourself. You're almost out regardless, if you take have to take another semester won't that give you time to still make headway in other areas?

[Anonymous No.14289731]

>>14289691
I guess yeah, I can look for some part-time job in the field, also I want to get into drawing from January so I guess I'll have extra time for that with the part-time job. It's just all these constant setbacks out of nowhere are pretty soul crushing after a while.

As for:
> Choosing classes for next semester, can't decide between two.
Try to get both if you can. If it's interesting but the teacher is a snob try not get in their way, just learn what you can. Teachers are pretty set in their ways so confronting them is never a good idea.

[Anonymous No.14289777]

>came out of a very deep depression from a period of my life where absolutely everything fell apart
>am making progress in multiple fields of self development at once
>regardless of my efforts, shit keeps going wrong
>best thought i can come home to at the end of the day is that reading is free and literature is all that matters in life and i don't need anything else

i just want to be rewarded for my efforts instead of spat on and kicked back into the gutter.

[Anonymous No.14289846]

>>14289731
Thanks anon, I appreciate the input.
>also I want to get into drawing
Same anon, good luck my friend. Hope next semester ends up being great for you

[Anonymous No.14289880]

>>14287897
i'm much too shy to write anything here, but does anyone else ever keep a text file open and just write random shit in it all day? i spend much of my time daydreaming and whenever i think of something interesting, any kind of insight or question i have about something else, i write it down in the text file. it's helped me a lot in trying to understand things and has made me realize how much stuff i think of and then forget.
does anybody else do this?

[Anonymous No.14289881]

>>14289777
Sorry to hear that anon. Can you expand on whats gone wrong recently?
Also, at least you got trips anon and that has to count for something.

[Anonymous No.14289902]

>>14289777
I know that feeling all to well my anonymous friend. You have a friend right here and you sharing this was my reward for the day. Keep up the good work.

[Anonymous No.14289965]

>>14288390
Anon, I started typing out a long winded response trying to logically walk through the choice, but I’m just going to distill it down to what I know now that I wish I would’ve at 18. I’m not you and you’re not me so I don’t know if this will resonate with you but it’s the honest truth from my perspective.

The first thing is that you have to realize that what they are selling isn’t an education, it’s a degree. It’s a piece of paper that acts as admission to a job or career. I work at a University. They openly talk about it as such. Nearly everything is marketed on the context of the career it will get you. It’s selling an image almost all the time. So that’s an important aspect to consider. When you study a field you’re not really interested in, all you’re doing is buying an admission ticket to a career.

I also think it’s important to realize that because the focus is on the degree as admission ticket, real education takes a back seat and is often subordinate to political implications unfortunately. So you can’t really just study what you want and expect to get some great education out of it, unless of course your interest is in fact something like stem and getting a career.

So what to do then? I personally don’t see the value in studying something you have no interest in just to get a career. Further I think literary and artistic types often find themselves totally out of place in materialistic private industry anyway. Nietzsche talked a lot of shit on the marketplace for a reason. What I honestly would recommend is to accept that you’re only going to get maybe 10% of a real education from any degree program and completely disregard the conception of degrees. Use college as a means to sharpen what you learn from self study and use the Academic environment to hone your reading, writing, speaking, and thinking. Plan on going all the way regardless of whether you study a Classics or Mechanical Engineering. Just steer clear of the marketplace and accept that you’ll just have to do most of your real learning on your own.

More than anything, I would just join the Military or maybe get a Trade so I could really just use University purely as a means of completing my informal education with formal education, not as a career move.

[Anonymous No.14289981]

Grading papers makes me want to kill myself.

I want to go teach at a cozy Catholic school where all my fellow professors are sincerely religious and sincerely interested in truth. Elite secular universities are all careerist hellholes.

[Anonymous No.14290000]

With nothing but a strand of morbidity for thought, I have disassociated with what is clear, I am remote from katharsis- Now bordering chaos.

Moving on!!! Who the fuck is this Hitler guy everyone is talking about???

[What books will help me X No.14290004]

What books will help me to become a better shitposter? I have noticed how important shitposting is, and would like to provide maximal quality shitposting content for litizens.

[Anonymous No.14290085]

>>14289274
I’ve already done this to a pretty drastic degree in my opinion. In the past year, I’ve kicked a drug habit, lost 50 lbs., quit porn and masturbation, stopped any regular drinking (have a few on holidays and special occasions still), quit smoking, quit caffeine, started fasting (intermittent and multiple day fasts), ditched TV and movies, downsized my possessions, and cut back my spending drastically. I’m considering getting rid of my car soon and still browse 4chan, listen to Podcasts a lot, and read.

I still basically feel trapped in the mundaneness of sedentary and comfortable office career which I have no interest in whatsoever, but am sentenced to mostly because of my suffocating student loans and horrible undergraduate track record (I got a worthless degree and a horrible GPA). It’s not even so much that I’m unhappy with my career as much as I’m unhappy with the idea of career. I just hate this idea of a life spent in pursuit of comfort and consumption.

[Anonymous No.14290089]

Anyone else here have rampant, spontaneous Walter Mitty-type fantasies throughout the day? It feels like my life is controlled by constant delusions of grandeur. I’m not sure if others have reveries of such intensity. I’m a schizoid, if that changes anything

[Anonymous No.14290095]

>>14289682
I used to daydream scenarios like your second paragraph. I don’t know why I don’t anymore and I miss it quite a lot to be honest.

[Anonymous No.14290096]

>>14290004

Infinite Jest is basically one big shitpost. The biggest of all time, maybe.

[Anonymous No.14290101]

>>14289981
What is it that makes you think Catholic schools would be better? Is it because they’re Catholic?

[Anonymous No.14290354]

Yaldabaoth's a big dipshit of a guy
I don't wanna try cry suicide or die
If I could I'd fucking turn back time
Grab a sickle and him by the thigh
Chop like Chronus on his dad's fly
Elevate me sky high ready to unify
I'm back alive, all the sparks divine

[Anonymous No.14290818]

I thought you were the one but you were just another one

[Anonymous No.14290830]

>>14289682
I understand your first sentiment completely. The sexual urge is some weird thing that I think most people would be better off without.

It's a disgusting act, really. The idea of even having an attraction I tend to meet with question. Seems like one big joke.

[Anonymous No.14290862]

>>14290830
>The idea of even having an attraction I tend to meet with question. Seems like one big joke.
Its fragile ego God forcing you to love his creation

[Anonymous No.14290867]

I’ve always had an uneasy relationship with my father, perhaps “uneasy” is the wrong word but i use it for lack of the right one in it’s place; you see, I say this because the first time I met the man, I was an 8 year old boy, and he killed a young girl in front of me.
He had never spoken of it, or, even acknowledged anything untoward had happened on our first meeting. He simply sat in his recliner in front of the television, occasionally scribbling something down in a beaten up black book that he locked away upstairs in his room.
Mother left when I turned 8, that’s how I came to live here. She told me she was going out for some milk and two weeks passed and she still hadn’t returned. The police knocked on the door and I didn’t answer, apparently they can break into your house if you don’t answer, I watched them do it too; a burly officer climbed through the door first (which partially hung off it’s hinges and splintered wood in its middle) and he asked me why I didn’t open the door, “Mama told me I shouldn’t open the door to strangers.”
They couldn’t argue that, the world was a dangerous place! But didn’t I hear them call “Police” several times? No. I had but I still said no. And I had been sent to live with a couple who had a little girl and boy, they could not find any other living family members. They were nice at first, all of them, I thought the other children, Harriet and... Oh, what was his name? George? Josh? Who cares? I didn’t. I exhaled. James. That was his name. They were a little strange. They all slept in the same room, the three of them. I got the small bed to myself while the other two shared a bed. Every night I’d hear someone enter the room and when I opened my eyes, Harriet and James would have left. I didn’t know where they went, so, being an inquisitive child, I crept outside and happened upon the most horrific scene which I wish I could... No, I cannot think like that.
I was caught watching what I can only describe as the most heinous thing I’ve ever seen and, having recently found out that I would be living with them permanently, my new parents had entered the room one night and spirited me out with the other children to do what... No, I cannot think of that either. I felt tears in my eyes, stinging me, blinding me; force them down, force it all down. And then father turned up one night and I went to live with him.
I remember seeing the same officer at the house who had broke into mine and he asked if I had seen anything, and I had said, “No officer.” He had accepted that. He wasn’t going to pry any further, he was just glad that this kid seemed ok. He didn’t want to divulge anything more, better to live in ignorance. But I want in ignorance because when I heard the television one day a couple weeks later, I heard a family had been brutally massacred by the father before he took his own life.

[Anonymous No.14290871]

Is there some hidden force in memes? I'm starting to believe in meme magic.

[Anonymous No.14290900]

>>14289880
I do that often as well, but I handwrite it in a little journal and I like to make little doodles in the margins that reflect the things I write about.

[Anonymous No.14290909]

>>14290900
ah, i like the sound of that, although i've been using a computer so long handwriting is a bit tedious and painstaking for me
being able to draw doodles would certainly be nice though

[Anonymous No.14290920]

>>14288114
I will second this question.

[Anonymous No.14290934]

>>14290830
I'm attracted to people, just not sexually. I'll see a qt girl and feel an urge to be around her and to hug, kiss, cuddle, and those things, but I won't have any desire to have sex with her.

Once I was with a 9/10 girl in my sophomore year of college, and she began changing in front of me, I just felt really uncomfortable, I didn't have any desire, sex makes me very uncomfortable and anxious.

[Anonymous No.14291002]

>>14287897
A year or so ago, I ordered this little Kalimba off Amazon. Back then, it was nothing special, just one of many mass-produced $40 Helsin KOA 17key units that wriggled their way into YouTube where people play charming little songs on them. I felt inspired and ordered it on a whim. I have had it for a year now, and I don’t know what I would do without it.

I began like a musical toddler with no skills or knowledge in creating pleasant sounds. All I had inside of me was this feeling, and urge to sing through an object deep in my heart. Slowly, I began to learn where everything was. The lower A,B&C are my favorite neighborhood, and each time almost feels like a person to me. They are all so unique in their personalities and the emotions they inflect. Lower A, he’s my favorite. Always skeptical and just in the middle of he board that modulation with a thumb or an index finger over the center hole makes him thoughtfully wail with ge most complexity of all his brothers.

The body of the instrument too, I’ve come to know. On a hike in the woods last February I thought it might be pleasant to take it into the isolated woods with me and play alone out there in the cold woods. How foolish it was of me, not to resize that the wood was too brittle in the cold and a massive crack formed. I felt terrible about it, as if I had hurt this new friend I had made, this small wooden singer had brought me so much joy during its time in my care, and I neglected it. But this great gash which started as a mistake eventually revealed itself as a unique blessing. The gap changed the sound to a more split and eerie tone. Something with a story in the voice of its own life. I began to carve drawings into the surface to reflect this. It’s evolution in appearance and the loosening of the keys has made he sound feel more organic, and speaks to the journies we’ve been on together. Road trips through the desert, scratches from tiny grains of sand on far-off beaches. We’ve been out there singing together.

Every night before I go to bed, I hold the Kalimba and play it. It’s sorrowful tones can be transformed into something beautiful with subtle inflections of hope, and I feel as if I am finally able to sing to the world the music I feel in my heart. Every night before bed we have this dialogue. Old childhood favorites and contemporary pieces alike, improvised and figured out along with the discovery of tritones and a newfound freedom to combine different chords. Now that I know it’s body, and now that it’s body knows my mind, we can sing what we truly want to the world.

It’s nothing grand, but I often think the best things in life ought not to be. I love this little instrument so much.

[Anonymous No.14291016]

The only thing I like about summer is the amount of cute girls it brings out. Everything else I hate.

[Anonymous No.14291029]

Started trying to draw again. I’ve realized I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, the only thing I’m even half competent at (and even then I’m still dreadful) is doing still lives or working from references. Like I look at someone who’s drawn a cute anime picture and can’t even begin to imagine the steps I would have to take to produce a similar image. I should probably read an actual drawing book I guess, so far I’ve only read shit that’s basically “drawing for retards”.

[Anonymous No.14291034]

>>14291002
>I began like a musical toddler with no skills or knowledge in creating pleasant sounds. All I had inside of me was this feeling, and urge to sing through an object deep in my heart.
this is the best way to learn, to just embrace your retardedness and regress to a childlike state where you don't feel at all embarrassed to not know things, to not feel like a pleb or a casual when you google the most basic entry level shit, to feel no shame in having no clue what you're doing while you mess around or read basic tutorials

[Anonymous No.14291051]

I just spent 2 hours making this image instead of writing my uni papers. It's representative of how miserable I am

[Anonymous No.14291062]

I have done basically nothing this month. I started when I began to catch up on my 70 episode Black Clover backlog (shounenshit melts your brain kids) over a long weekend and has culminated in the dubious achievement of having 75 unattended items in my to-do list. I don’t even know what I’m fucking *doing* for most of the day. I’ve only been watching an episode or two of anime a day so that’s not it, and I don’t play vidya or shitpost that much.

[Anonymous No.14291064]

>>14291051
kek don't worry anon, I also make pics for 4chan that make me waste plenty of time.

[Anonymous No.14291065]

>>14287976
>Is there a more transcendental experience than having sex with the woman you love?
im sure there are as well as equivalent level experiences

[Anonymous No.14291072]

>>14288114
The Bible (Old Testament)
Meditations
Pensees
Essays by Montaigne
Maxims by Rochefoucauld
Memoirs by Chateaubriand
The Sorrows of Young Werther

[Anonymous No.14291095]

>>14291034
Exactly. It’s so exciting when you finally figure something out, and you feel that primordial voice become just a little stronger, it’s energy fed by your hard work. Wether it’s knowing how to automatically play a chord from muscle memory or knowing where to place a CGE combination in the rhythm of a new song idea, I feel as though I am chipping away at some sort of crust covering up a portal to the divine. Each thing learned through experimentation is a small hole made, revealing this mystical golden light from beyond, where true mastery over your heart and it’s expression of joy lies.

[Anonymous No.14291096]

Weed is honestly one of my passions, best thing I ever did when I smoked some of that sweet ganja. It draws me back to a state of tranquility and makes me forget about demons which haunt me from time to time.

[Anonymous No.14291187]

What is it like to be a chan girl? What is it like to wake up and realize that hundreds of men are thinking about you, myself included? Men thinking about caressing you, kissing you, feeling your body and holding you. And all of these are men you've never met. Do you think it stresses them out? Or is it an ego boost to know that you live literally rent free men's brains?

[Anonymous No.14291240]

Is there any philosophy or spiritual path that's about harnessing the power of a god, or are all of them about accepting your slavery.?

[Anonymous No.14291288]

mr president.. it's an honour

[Anonymous No.14291303]

>>14291187
cumbrain.
of course those who do it on purpose are attention seekers, all it takes is a female face, if you brothers revised your attitudes and started treating women like regular people (and here it's just bad tone to post your fucking selfies for attention) this phenomena would instantly disappear.
the only women that stay will be ones who never boasted it in the first place and posted like everyone else.

[Anonymous No.14291311]

>>14291051
pretty based. i like drawing pepes, always wanted to draw one of my paint pic ideas but i'm either not at home to access pc or fucking lazy

[Anonymous No.14291314]

>>14291240
God is found in the wilderness at night looking up at the stars. God is found in the eyes of a woman who loves you back. God is found in the creation of music, pouring from your soul through an instrument. God is found in the silence of a mountain after a great snowstorm. God is not easily encountered anon. You must go out and find him.

[Anonymous No.14291329]

We are the same soul. Solipsism isn't the veritable truth, nor should self-centredness be conclusive to the state of our existence. Defining our existence on the basis of the richness of sounds, the vividness of colours, the expression of individuality, can equate to subjective worthlessness if we believe to be deprived of these things when we come to pass. Yet it seems like no matter how we try to put objective meaning into our lives, it always comes to the same end result. Humanity has no purpose. So we have no meaning regardless of your own passion and fury to live "for your own".

Culture, religion, and society fabricates truth about the human experience. These systems of truth have always predicated civilisation's folly. It is thus difficult to accept that the human experience is itself valuable. It may be the case that you were just as non-existent before you were born as when you will die. Yet death should be inherently bad because it deprives us of life, the potential to utilise life, and life's experiences of pleasure and pain.

At the end of the day we will all go to bed. We will all attend the sunrise. Even if someone who is not you will become you and you become nothing tomorrow, it shouldn't rightfully matter to the people who love you without condition. For it is the beauty inside that counts. A life of an indeterminate amount of sequences, each individually worthless to their own, almost to the point of ill-purpose, is irrelevant to those who totally accept them. They will chase the shadow of that person: their irreplaceable soul eternal.

[Anonymous No.14291477]

>>14287897
regarding OP

[Anonymous No.14291488]

>>14291477
While the sentiment is picturesque, no men who feel this way have ever won a war in human history. To go to war is to attack the will of your enemy.

[Anonymous No.14291597]

>>14288247
Enter the succ

[Finland No.14291628]

>>14291477
Oy vey, Gevalt! If you are deaf and don't hear what people say to each other before battle, all you see, when the fighting breaks out, is people killing each other. Then, when the battle is done and the graves of past wars, on which they were fighting now, have been turned updside down, then you are given a transcript of the speeches you didn't hear, and they read like the text you have posted.
I don't agree with this kind of reasoning. There will always be reasons to kill one another. It is like an infinite waterslide ride up and down impossible geometry. I, on the other hand, am stupid. I look on the outside of things and don't reason very much with them. I don't turn and twist the thing to find a dirty spot. My way is more like cutting through police tape: I walk right into the murder house, unarmed, gunshots ring out, and a white dove flies to heaven (that is my soul [I don't believe in a soul or in heaven]). It is like some video game role playing game: you can choose different classes and such, what colour your robes will be, black or white, or heavy or light armour. Your post is like the paladin's way (I played some WoW back in the day, 2016). Then we have some people from pol, they seem more like the warriors or barbarians (when jews or blacks are concerned). I on the other hand am a priest. I have no attack spells on my keybar, so I am kind of bad in arena. Maybe I am a warlock, actually, because I offer the world on a plate to evil forces - I don't use my spells though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mayCfvEi3lc

[Anonymous No.14291630]

>>14289429
It's interesting: my first year at university some guy threw himself off a 7-floor parking garage and turned himself into paste on the sidewalk, and I didn't understand him then. Now I wish I could embrace him and tell him I understand

[Anonymous No.14291684]

>>14289429
>>14291630
Having a strong suicidal tendency myself (planning to hero at 30), I'm still indifferent to others who did it or plan to do it, and only want to joke about this shit

[Anonymous No.14291784]

I wish I could make some friends that were into writing and could spur me on to do more while I supported them as well, maybe even have a support group. But I swear, whenever I try it's either
>the reddit guy whose writing is absolute trash and who just wants you to tell him it's good and thinks you're toxic if you have criticism and every criticism you have is excused by
>>YEAH YEAH YEAH I WAS GONNA FIX THAT AFTER THE DRAFT
or
>the 4chan /lit/ underager that can't even describe what he wants to do, he just namedrops philosophers and poets and says he wants to write in that fashion, and then goes on some boring depressing rant about his life in what he thinks is fanciful prose but just leaves me cringing
Not to mention their critique is always garbage
>nothing about the pacing, the structure, the tone, or the quality of the prose
>>I GUESS IT'S NICE ANON BUT HERE'S HOW I WOULD DO IT...
Wake me up.

[Anonymous No.14291813]

>>14287897
I'm not sure how much of a mistake I'm making with antidepressants. I'm still giving them a chance as there's some potential and hope for things to turn out for the better, but I often wonder if it's not better to just go back to the shitty baseline of before instead of risking further issues. Gone through 2 SSRIs and pretty much gave up on them forever, but now I have the chance for an SNRI and I'm almost willing to take the bait. It seems withdrawal is absolute hell if you decide to cut it later though so it's not a decision to be taken lightly.

It just sucks how nobody knows what's going on. You just throw pills that work in slightly different but similar ways until you find the one that stabilizes your life mildly so you can pick up the slack. Or you go insane while trying, I dunno.

[Anonymous No.14291904]

>>14291813
Anon, I had a toothache a few weeks ago and took these painkillers + antibiotics to fight it, and I wrote like 100k words in a week, no joke. Now that I'm off the pills I can barely find the willpower to write 2k, I feel like shit. I don't want to become a junkie, but goddamn, it's really a wake-up call to me just how much more productive, happy, and well-balanced I was on drugs.

[Anonymous No.14292041]

>>14291904
You got that much energy from some painkillers? That's bizarre. But I agree with your reasoning, I see people praising things like Adderall or Vyvanse and I'm sure it'd work for me almost too well, but that's the trap I don't to fall in. I can already get really caught up in and obsessed with things at times, I'd be tempted to be a huge productivity monster 24/7 until I died from a heart attack.

[Anonymous No.14292068]

I learned a bit about lenses and bought a decent camera to discern the truth of mirrors. Now I'm angry and afraid. I don't know what upsets me more, the thought I might not be as ugly as I believed, or that I am truly hideous. The former is such a new and terrifying thought I resent it for being so late in coming and up ending my downward spiral.

[Anonymous No.14292088]

>>14292068
whos that?

[Anonymous No.14292103]

>>14291477
>6th century chinks wrote this
Bizarre to think, this kind of mind set is totally perverse and doesn't belong in a battle. It isn't even internally consistent.

[Anonymous No.14292133]

what's it with women buying food and pretending they cooked it? never ever seen a man do it.
or adding shit like bouillone cubes to soup and claiming it's "traditional recipe".
there's nothing shameful about storebought food, but this game of pretending is retarded

[Anonymous No.14292161]

>>14292133
>this game of pretending
thats what gender is, guy.

[Anonymous No.14292162]

>>14291784
i so understand you, brother. i much prefer writing in Russian, but it's so hard to find someone to share with who's not a pretentious millenial "writer" or a cringy schoolgirl that's into mediocre text roleplay.
the only guy I felt blessed to talk to miraculously transformed into a boring normie (the zoomer kind) and I'm still sad about it

[Anonymous No.14292178]

>>14292161
i'm glad some zoomer females don't feel obliged to play it and i can listen to their "shat in the dumpster because i forgot the keys" stories, unironically

[Anonymous No.14292209]

>>14289777
keep it up anon
you a champ
what are you reading currently

[Anonymous No.14292212]

the pony got well if you remember my post from a week ago, but now another horse is down with something more serious that colic or digestion issues, bros, it's horrible when they get sick one after another.
pic is a hay nest he made yesterday while staying in the corridor so we could watch him the whole evening

[Anonymous No.14292217]

im just hoping i will die a decent death. i wish i was born in 1910 so i could die in spanish civil war. i just hope i get a chance to die for what i believe in. it's funny really - my grandfathers brother whose name i bear now died in spain. kind of a prophecy dontya think

[Anonymous No.14292224]

Why everyone around me are mentally healthy and im the only one whos neurotic?

[Anonymous No.14292240]

>>14292224
they seem healthy, or you refuse to see their neuroses, or they're so normie nothing really bothers them.

[Anonymous No.14292261]

One day the words I use will be my own.

[Anonymous No.14292267]

>>14292240
They dont seem to be turbonormalfags but they somehow carry on. I feel like meaningless follows me around every corner and because of that i cant plan my future at all. I try to read books and get some insight but the more i read the more i realize that its only words written on paper.

[Anonymous No.14292278]

>>14291784
I feel the same way, buddy. I posted a text in a study group and the faggots just say things like "I liked it", "Cool" or, even worse, "I didn't get it" (it was a short story, I mean, I think even a 10-year-old child could grasp the meaning with a little push).

>>14292162
I feel the same way writing in Portuguese, but here most of the millennial writers, so to speak, are in college, which makes them insufferably more pretentious. It's really funny how they praise a lot of books without even reading them, lack any sense of what makes prose good and so on and so forth. I jus' wanned a fellow writer of my own ;-;

[Anonymous No.14292281]

>>14292267
i realise it and think, so what. i've reached such levels of not giving a shit that no meaningless or doom can divert me from enjoying whatever i like or doing whatever i feel is right

[Anonymous No.14292287]

>>14291784
>>14292278
bros, it's time to team up, always wanted my English writing to feel less ESL but I had no motivation to write in this language until now

[Anonymous No.14292296]

>>14291072
Thanks for recs. I hope it'll help me even for a moment.

[Anonymous No.14292298]

>>14292261
i know what you meant, powerful line. but interpreting it verbatim, I agree even more. neologisms are the shit, bending the language as you will and making it sound good

[Anonymous No.14292308]

>>14292281
Maybe meaningless freed you but it threw me to the deepest pit.

[Anonymous No.14292321]

>>14292308
it's a phase many go through on their way to freedom. if nothing matters, you have no obligations but to follow your own ideas and morals, no goal but to fulfill your life

[Anonymous No.14292322]

>>14292287
I'm unable to write anything in English worthy of being read when it comes to fiction, so I think I can't help you with your ESL problem. I guess I need to read more. Expand vocabulary, dominate grammar and practice writing.

[Anonymous No.14292334]

>>14292321
Sometimes i wonder if im living at all as in anything else than going through motions. I hope for a miracle even if i know how unlikely for it to happen.

[Anonymous No.14292361]

>>14292162
>>14292278
>>14292287
Do any of you lads want to form a Discord server?

[Anonymous No.14292365]

>>14292212
I didn't read that post, but this is sad. I feel so bad for animals. I literally gave away the last money I had left to feed some strays outside, fuck. I wish I could help all of them.

[Anonymous No.14292392]

>>14292361
sure, fren,go ahead

[Anonymous No.14292404]

>>14292365
a man of virtue, hope one day your fate takes a turn wild enough to save them all. in the meantime, there are farm animal rescues that recieve far less attention than pet shelters, you can help with not just money but volunteering too

[Anonymous No.14292432]

Suicide became obsolete after Skyking

[Anonymous No.14292442]

Nigger faggot who designed this fucking radio I hope he gets cancer can't even tune this fucking trash oh god oh fuck
I don't have all day just pick the fucking groceries god damn
I'm two weeks into holidays and I did fuck all I feel useless as shit I don't want to be in this cell I want to be free and manage my own shit
Fucking fuck nigger nigger nigger nigger

[Anonymous No.14292490]

>>14289076
>virgin
>woman
>cute
You can only pick 2 anon. I could be wrong and they may still exist, but only in Highschool church/religious groups. No attractive woman over the age of 20 isn't going to have sucked and fucked someone already. Just imagine if you had the social magnetism of a cute girl. There's no way you wouldn't have gotten laid by that age, even if you spilled spaghetti like you do now.
I'm not calling women whores for putting out, just being honest about the value most men put on getting a fine piece of ass. This is compounded by women loving the attention, and wanting to please their partner. No resource goes unspoiled forever.

[Anonymous No.14292497]

>>14292392
Well, maybe one of you guys can make it and I'll join, I have no idea how to set one up properly, unless you want me to do some barebones shit.

[Anonymous No.14292533]

>>14289076
My girlfriend is a cute virgin that's very traditional. However, you couldn't tell this when you meet her because she larps as a revolutionary commie, but really all she wants is to be a housewife and make babies. It's the strangest shit. I doubt you can honestly tell what a woman wants before she trusts you. Most one of the rightwing girls that larp as traditionalists like Lauren Southern are known to be megawhores behind the scenes. I would say that ANY girl promoting herself as a traditionalist is bound to be some sort of grifter. The ones that are truly traditional (like girls raised Muslim) still don't talk about themselves like that. If you want to find a loving girlfriend easily, just go for a Muslim. I've dated like three Muslims and they were all top tier people that never let me down, it just didn't work out. Overall, I'd rank Muslim/Jewish girls as top girlfriend material. The worst being Asians, just any Asians. Fuck Asian girls, they're such cancer.

[Anonymous No.14292554]

>>14292361
Do it. I'll enter.

[Anonymous No.14292582]

>>14289076
You're only worthy of a virgin wife if you also saved yourself for marriage. Be honest - did you? You can lie to us, but it won't fool God.

[Anonymous No.14292594]

>>14292554
>>14292497
https://discord.gg/5Ru6Kbd everyone else is also invited if you want to talk about writing and share yours

[Anonymous No.14292600]

>>14289076
Watching porn and sleeping around are the same.

[Anonymous No.14292690]

how humanlike are the eyes of a sick animal

[Anonymous No.14292693]

>>14292690
is he ok?

[Anonymous No.14292704]

>>14292693
we're waiting for blood test results, but he's getting better

[Anonymous No.14292714]

>>14292693
seems like i'll have to stay up all night to check on him hourly, means i'll get to witness the daytime american posters

[Anonymous No.14292734]

When I was a kid I volunteered in the summers at a farm animal rescue sanctuary in southern MA. We had over 800 animals, everything from cats to dogs, to fowl and livestock, even exotic pheasants and emus. All rescued. Even to this day, I remember them like people, their individual lives, stories, and souls. There was an elderly goose who could no longer walk, but only stand briefly with the help of his beak. I used to clean his bedding, water, and food, and sit there and pat him for a few minutes afterward. He always seemed calmer after that. Or, we had Napoleon the potbelly pig. He was “mistaken for a teacup pig” by the cruel people who bought him as a pet, and when he grew too big for their liking they tossed him into a snowbank and left him to die on the side of the road in Norton. He loves belly rubs and corn cobs, and never bites like most other pigs I’ve come across. Every time my boss would get back from being in the road, the donkey would bay with happiness and run around when she got back. The emus were always my favorite, dinosaurs in hiding with this quiet intelligence about them. They would follow you as you mucked the horse stalls, and twist their heads in observation at your actions. They enjoy a palm full of sunflower seeds and being scratched on the neck. Every afternoon, our flock of domestic geese would wander down to the river on the wedge of he sanctuary for their swim in the golden light, and underneath the great swathes of white pine, the needles formed a soft carpet for all the creatures to tread on, in this small verdant neighborhood of peace where they somehow found themselves. Through happenstance or slaughterhouse auction, they were the ones who had made it, and to this day I love them all.

To be an animal is no simple thing. They have their worries, their fears, their friendships which transcend across species to other animals and humans alike, and they have their own quiet intelligence and unspoken stories too. I feel lucky to have cared for them, and for all that they taught me of the world at such a young age. Be gentle to the creatures of this world, for they have much to give back should you stop and listen to their wisdom.

>>14292212
Glad he’s feeling better, I hope the other creature makes a speedy recovery too
>>14292404
This is such a good but rare sentiment.

These two posts have inspired me to write the section above. Thanks guys.

[Anonymous No.14292761]

good morning anons, hows its goin =)

[Anonymous No.14293148]

>>14291314

That's not what I mean. How do I get the power of a god to do with what I please?

[Anonymous No.14293161]

>>14292761
fuck you nigger

[Anonymous No.14293204]

>>14292734
utterly based, animalist writers are the best. always kind at heart and great people. glad your character was shaped by that.

[Anonymous No.14293511]

>>14287976
As with the other anon, the moments of climax and after, looking into her eyes, were as moving as the first time I saw the milky way.

However, I have since come to recognize that she and I were both awful people, in more ways than one. We lied, we took drugs, we blamed others for our failures and mediocrity, we were (often quite) un-hygienic, we engaged in pleasures of our flesh past the point of hedonism with little thought of the ramifications it would, and indeed did, have on our persons.

I am now single and somewhat lonely, but I manage my hygiene, fitness, and finances with rarely-wavering discipline. I make sure my person is honest and reliable to those I work with, who depend on me. I see now that feeling of love for what it was, an unsubstantial, frivolous pleasure not unlike the time I mixed MDMA and LSD.

I know a woman who raised a family of 6 and lived to 100. She did not love her husband, as he lost his mind soon after the birth of the 6th, but she knew her duty to her family and did everything she could to support them. In turn, their company carried her and her sanity into old age.

Having known the transcendental experience of love, I will hold out for an intelligent woman with such a sense of filial duty-- to the exclusion of any other relationships if it comes to that.

hopefully that helps you feel better

[Anonymous No.14293546]

>>14291488
>>14291628
>>14292103
>Talking about literal battle when this is obviously a metaphor
It's easy to be cruel in life, but it is rarely beneficial in the long term.

[Anonymous No.14293576]

>>14293511
>we engaged in pleasures of our flesh past the point of hedonism with little thought of the ramifications it would, and indeed did, have on our persons.
go on...

[Anonymous No.14293604]

>>14293511
where do i find a lying, drug-taking, unhygienic gf to engage in the pleasures of the flesh with?

[Anonymous No.14293737]

>>14287897
I feel a deep sense of dread at the fact I can't see a route to making internet friends anymore. In the past it was easy enough in theory: Find a forum, join, etc etc etc. But with Reddit? Discord? Twitter? I have no idea. I'm completely lost. Most of those sites seem better structured for building a fanbase than for building friendships and communities. Even with a good circle of real life friends, I'm deeply concerned by this situation.

[Anonymous No.14293805]

>>14293737
> Most of those sites seem better structured for building a fanbase than for building friendships and communities
well said. i felt weird about social dynamics online recently, and here is it put into words.
https://discord.gg/5Ru6Kbd we're having a small lit chat here by the way, to share writing originally but feel free to join if you just read

[Anonymous No.14293807]

>>14287976
Ah, that time was as a ditch is; filled with the scurrying rats of fear and doubt. Insane, painted in a sickly, choleric yellow. But a yellow prettier than the one which dresses the Sun. I miss the stench and venom, for I have never tasted such a sweetness of passion.

[Anonymous No.14293810]

>>14293737
For me it was css pub servers

[Anonymous No.14293828]

>>14293807
absolute neodecadent heaven, brother, if you ever write more about it, you're gonna make it.

[Anonymous No.14293841]

Wish i could make this infantile feel go away, its just envy with anger all together, think i should occupy my mind with some light reading

[Anonymous No.14293846]

These threads have been getting weak lately. It used to be filled to the brim with schizos' fantasies and even literary geniuses at times but it's all blogposting now.

[Anonymous No.14293852]

I asked a girl why she'd chosen to become an engineer.

She told me that she likes math, science, and exact things.

That sentence in itself sparked a flame of love inside me, and I don't know what that says about me.

[Anonymous No.14293861]

>>14293828
Kind words, thank you.

[Anonymous No.14293941]

Found this word doc from my college days while scraping my hard drive today, I don't know if anyone else will get a kick out of it, feel free to ridicule. But it could actually a pretty good exercise if you followed through with it.

https://pastebin.com/MAywBHBE

[Anonymous No.14294220]

>>14292600
explain

[Anonymous No.14294234]

>>14288972

> People are strange when you're a stranger
> Faces look ugly when you're alone
> Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
> Streets are uneven when you're down

Become a man.

Srsly.
I don't mean to insult you.
Face your fears, bloody your nose, get back up, bloody it again, until nothing phases you.

And you will see the other face women have.
It's to die for.

[Anonymous No.14294247]

>>14294234
Did you just come back from watching Rocky, what is this crige shit ?

[Anonymous No.14294326]

>>14294247
Just my experience in life.
I wished i had learned this lesson sooner.

I might not had learned it at all, and died as pathetic as i had been for so long.

[Anonymous No.14294336]

>>14293546
Spoken as someone who has never been forced to fight for their survival.

[Anonymous No.14294356]

>>14294234
Based and lovepilled.

I survived a violent childhood and later on an extremely abusive relationship, but now I’m with the woman of my dreams. There are both men and women out there who want to live good lives together.

[Anonymous No.14294366]

>>14293604
Tucson

[Anonymous No.14294374]

>>14293148
You do not, for you are only a man.

[Anonymous No.14294388]

>>14293604
>>14294366
Also the fine arts, theater, antifa milieu

[Anonymous No.14294472]

It’s lonely not being a normie.

[Anonymous No.14294494]

>>14294366
>Tucson Ranked Among Worst Cities in America, But Here's the
>Tucson, Arizona ranked worst city in nation to find a job this summer
great

[Anonymous No.14294595]

>>14292490
>>14292533
so you're saying i should just an hero?

[Anonymous No.14294672]

>>14293846
THIS

ABSOLUTELY FUNKY SPECIAL BRAND OF HUMOR STYLE XMAS TREE THEMED VIDS ALL FREE AND BEST IN SHOW, SEVERE FULL BLOWN DEPRESSION SLEEPING ALL DAY EVERY DAY HUMOR NEET HUMOR UP IN YOUR FACE ALL THE BEST PUPPETS AND TOONS FOR FULL BLOWN TWEEN KIDS WITH IDOLIZING THE WORST SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER TO PROMOTE THE END OF ALL LIVING PAIN

[Anonymous No.14294854]

The world is terrible. Just irredeemable garbage through and through. Everyone who looks at things honestly sees this, the only way to make things bearable is to pick and choose what you expose yourself to and live your life in a little bubble.

[Anonymous No.14294876]

>>14293852
It says, "have sex"

[Anonymous No.14294890]

Nothing beats a shallow creek that too runs deep.

[Anonymous No.14295147]

I lost my virginity today. Or maybe yesterday, I dont know.

You guys were right: it really doesnt change anything...

[Anonymous No.14295612]

>>14294374

>you are only a man

For now.

[Anonymous No.14295852]

>>14292296
No problem mate. Praying for your recovery.

[Anonymous No.14295905]

Does anybody else find themselves in a state of daydreaming or is it just me?
On some occasions people have asked if I was feeling okay, just because I had been gazing at the horizon thinking for minutes without a word coming from my mouth.
Sometimes I receive a sense of disconnection from reality, the kind of feeling you get when high or sleepy.
My thoughts can range from poetic stuff to degeneracy, when the latter occurs I usually encounter myself with a comfortable boner.
I can't look at a woman without leaving her naked in my imagination, not only that, I also tend to manifest a desire to hold her hand and appreciate her natural beauty as she was some sort of painting.

[Anonymous No.14296599]

Ah, the fucking mood swings. I think I'm bipolar, but I also think most psychiatric diagnoses are bullshit.

[Anonymous No.14296600]

>>14295147
I hope your butt feels ok

[Anonymous No.14296881]

>>14294854
Your narrow-minded and dismissive pessimism disgusts me. Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.14296980]

My sleep cycle has turned itself completely ass-backwards thanks to a mix of narcotics and procrastination. On a good day, I'll concentrate my willpower and manage drag myself out of bed at around 4 PM, where I spend most of my day smoking cigs and maybe killing a few of the beetles that keep pouring out from under the stove. My “morning” is pretty much a blur, honestly. At around 11, I force myself into a hard, uncomfortable chair so that I may pore over an ugly chipped IKEA desk, dimly illuminated by a cheap Tesco lamp, and proceed to do literally anything except for whatever hopelessly easy assignment has been given to me. Usually at around 6AM I’ll have spent too much time alone with my own thoughts to want to go on, so I’ll “reward” myself with a joint and possibly even fall asleep to the obnoxious, relentless fucking crowing of the seagulls outside. Don’t even get me started on the fucking seagulls. And for what? So that I can waste thousands scraping by for a second-rate degree at a third-rate university in a bottom-rate town?

[Anonymous No.14297042]

>>14296980
skip sleep one day (after staying up all night, don't sleep, keep awake til evening) and it'd be much easier.
weed may help you pass out, but it worsens the quality of sleep. so go to bed sober - it'd be very hard to fall asleep if you quit after continous abuse, so eat some mild sedatives beforehead. valerian root is great, just eat a lot of it (won't be harmful) 3-4 hours ahead, you'll sleep naturally and won't be dizzy in the morning like with strong sleeping pills. also, quiting weed makes your dreams bizzare for a couple of days, have fun.
you'd want to go to sleep earlier than 12am and wake up before 10am, ideally you should stop staring at screens an hour before sleep, read a book instead or do some chores

[Anonymous No.14297223]

>>14294336
I honestly wish that were true.

[Anonymous No.14297231]

> mfw all that snow melted and we can't work the horses on soggy puddles of shit
the horse from yesterday got much better by the way, nearly kicked me off the chair yesterday when i was holding the last infusion bottle for the drip

[Anonymous No.14297257]

I can't decide if I should focus on philosophy or fiction. Both remind me what a brainlet I am. Fiction, lately, makes me feel like something heavy is on my chest. Lolita really did a number on me, I'm not sure how Nabokov manages to write like that. It's so dense, too many calories almost. Philosophy, on the other hand, makes me restless. I can't choose, so I've been watching aminu and shit, which is rotting my brain. Maybe that's for the best, it's all beyond me anyway.

[Anonymous No.14297272]

>>14297257
you don't have to choose. read one book of this, one of that, you don't have to swallow philosophy books in one gulp too.

[Anonymous No.14297274]

>>14296600
checked

To further elaborate on >>14295147
Upon reflection after some time passed, it was actually pretty nice; I even coomed twice.

[Anonymous No.14297299]

The library scanner won't register the barcode on my book but the chinese girl at the counter either doesn't know enough English to explain that to me, or maybe she doesn't really feel the need to explain it. She walks away and prints something out, so I stand around gawking and the four-man security squadron standing around in the lobby. I recognize two of their faces but I'm sure they don't recogonize me.

The chinese girl comes back with a temporary barcode sticker. She checks out the book and she doesn't desensitize it, but I know it's okay because she adhered the sticker next to and not on top of the old sticker and so when I leave I'm going to set the alarm off anyway.

I set off the alarm when I try to leave. A fifth security guy walks up to me. This guy's wearing a different color uniform than the other four, it's light brown instead of black. I think he's a real cop. How do they coordinate library security between two different military organizations? It's not relevant to me.

He's friendly with me and he waits while I flip through the book to find my check-out receipt. A white-haired lady walks up to us and she looks at me suspiciously but she doesn't say anything. She's just watching me while I continue not to find a single receipt in a three-hundred-page book. The security guard is getting impatient.

Finally the lady asks my cop where the "google thing" is. "The town hall?" he asks, "Fourth floor". She walks away, but looks at me over her shoulder as she goes. Right. Google is buying 80 acres of land here to build a new "village". The white-haired lady is here to stop them. She's the last democrat in America. Fourth floor agora. I think about putting a crown on her head and kissing her feet. I'll feel bad when the attrition gets to her.

Another security guard walks up, one from the squad of four. I don't recognize his face. I find the receipt, but it says "Fast Add Record" on it, and not the title of my book. The new security guard takes it from my hand and says "That's not the title of your book." The old security guard motions the chinese girl over. An old grizzled black guy comes up and asks where the google thing is. Fourth floor.

The chinese girl explains the situation. I think about the book about pigeons which I couldn't find on the shelf. Who would steal a book about pigeons from a public library? I fit the profile now.

As I walk out the door I hear an old guy ask the front desk security guard where the google thing is.

It's dark outside and I smile at a homeless guy I recognize. He doesn't smile back because he doesn't recognize me. I don't recognize most of the people on the street. Somebody overdosed on the street across from my apartment last night. Somebody stole the book about pigeons, who are really doves.

[Anonymous No.14297312]

>>14297299
this is real lit. do you post your writing anywhere? should make a pastebin/cloud with your collected posts like this.

[Anonymous No.14297318]

I resent technology so fucking much. I feel like a fucking idiot ruining my life by procrastinating on this fucking website. But deep down I know nothing will never change because I'm a lazy shit and the internet is too far integrated into our lives at this point for me to ever escape.

[Anonymous No.14297442]

Do you have favorite posters on lit and in these threads?

[Anonymous No.14297458]

>>14297442
Yes, me. I'm my own favorite poster.

[Anonymous No.14297781]

>>14291002
I enjoyed this. These are my favorite sorts of instruments, well play, well loved, finger prints worn right into the wood.

The crack was not because of the cold, just the dry air drying out the wood and causing it to split. As the wood dries it shrinks which creates tension, that crack is the wood deciding to relieve all that tension. If you have not done so, it is worthwhile to have to crack either cleated or filled to stabilize it so you do not end up eventually just losing the entire left side of the soundboard, cleats will have minimal effect on sound, filling it will bring it back close to its original sound. Any halfway decent luthier that focuses on acoustic guitars can do the work. It will probably cost as much as the instrument did, possibly more, but it seems like this was a lifetime buy for you so the cost is a great deal.

[Anonymous No.14297825]

What's on my mind: could be worse, but it could be better. One day at a time, anon.

[Anonymous No.14297998]

I bought my sister Milk and Honey (Rupi Kaur) for Christmas. Was that a mistake?

[Anonymous No.14298074]

Im thinking whenever cultural depression/melancholia correlates with literary talent but then i remember that the most suicides happen in eastern europe which is devoid of talent.

[Finland No.14298096]

Once again I will open my mouth, and make my enemies chuckle. First, I will briefly reiterate my fundamental moral principle: violence, be it physical or psychological, is never justified, neither to prevent one's own death nor to prevent the death of others, rape, torture, extinction - a moral life means being completely at the mercy of evildoers, to always turn your cheek, so to say. Now, there are, i suppose, two ways to handle this situation of ours: we could walk right into the butcher's cabin or we could hide in the woodwork. I don't think one should die on purpose - that would be insane, wouldn't it? The righteous have as their supreme duty to be righteous and to stay righteous, that is, to live as long as they can without defiling themselves. So we must flee, as the deer do, over the heath and into the woods, because we have broken our wolf teeth. The righteous hide in the shadows when it is day and at night sneek into the gardens, to nibble at berries and grass and to shit. The righteous hang like gnats hidden in the lion's neck and suck his blood. Christ had to die in public - it was the smartest move in his situation: he had to die to give to all the fundamental moral principle. Our situation is different though: we have to live in secret, for we have to poison as many wells as we can - we have to do good, and to do good means to live. A righteous person, who wants to stay righteous, wears a black cloak, hides his face, does not say the truth, does not endanger himself - why? because for him who carries the spirit of righteousness, his only task is to carry it, to hold on to it. In a blink of an eye, we sprint from our bushes, where we lay hidden, to the place where the poor rest, we kiss them, and help them as good as we can, and vanish. We are evil's nightmare, the goblin on his chest. We are the reflection of the moon upon the eyes of a starving child, looking up to the stars and praying in silence, while in the distant desert sea, the jolly sounds of a caravan echo into the infinite dark, to where people believed once to be the throne upon which sat God and watched, though now the child knows better, saying his prayer in his mind, the palace of the heart, that there is only his own love.

Pic: me in the back :^)

[Anonymous No.14298103]

>>14297998
yes. buy her some real poetry.

[Anonymous No.14298117]

...don't judge someone until you've stood at his forge and worked with his hammer...

[Anonymous No.14298137]

Kill a murderer and the number of killers in the world stays the same. Kill a hundred murderers and it goes down by ninety-nine. The executioner's final duty is to kill himself for the sin of having killed. There can be no lily white souls without the executioner. Someone has to take the fall, swallow all that sin. Love is the bone and sinew of my curse. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[Finland No.14298159]

>>14298117
Do you know such a dwarven beater of iron? I would like to hear some of his judgements.

[Anonymous No.14298255]

>>14295147
kys dumb fukcing nigger ape jew cocksucker

[Anonymous No.14298353]

Wonder how weird it is to message a girl on reddit to say I think she's cute. Don't feel the need to orbit her or even talk any more than that but just feel like saying it

[DERELICT No.14298391]

>>14298353
YOU ARE A SAD, LONELY ANON.

[Anonymous No.14298396]

>>14298353
don't do it, nigger. girls know they are cute, compliment her for something else and you'd instantly stand out.

[Anonymous No.14298406]

>watch facialabuse video with a dude pissing into an emo girls mouth 10 minutes after meeting her
>today an exact copy of the girl just without tattoos sets beside me during class
While I'm not big on absolute morality and not against promiscuity this kind of shook me. It's not even the porn, it's the absurdity of how it must've gone down in front of the camera. Very curious.

[Anonymous No.14298474]

>>14287897
I wish I used more exclamation marks when posting online! But only in a way that made me seem more approachable/friendly or enthusiastic. I don't know if that's actually how other people perceive it, though!

[Anonymous No.14298739]

>>14298117
>working another guy’s hammer
Haha what are you gay anon?

[Anonymous No.14298773]

I think I have finally managed to synthesize my main philosophical influences into a coherent system of metaphysics and ethics. The question is, what should I do about this?

[Anonymous No.14298796]

>>14298773
it's not a complete system if you've still got to ask

[Anonymous No.14299096]

>>14298773
Expose it to the critical minds of others for critique, engage with it in productive debate, and watch your work be smashed to smithereens. Then, use said debasement to refine it. Rinse and repeat.

>>14298796
Precisely

[Anonymous No.14299136]

THIS HORNINESS IS KILLING ME FUCKING STOPPPPPP REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.14299140]

>>14299136
i really want to be an asexual

[Anonymous No.14299493]

>>14299136
is there an outlet for that energy? your sex drive unironically stabilizes and gets healthy if you tire yourself by productive things. art, studying, physical work, doesn't have to be conventionally "good for you".
also, quit porn completely if you haven't yet. first go back to still pictures, then try to switch to imagination. i'm sure it's the porn that makes you want to coom more, not cooming habit making you want to watch more porn.

[Anonymous No.14299522]

I often imagine a self-inflicted death; it’s a sort of wild fantasy, particularly after too much beer. Other drinks fail to affect me in this way, but since beer is the drink to which I am most partial, I often associate a good nights drinking with an hour or two of suicidal fantasy. During those excitable hours, I often wonder, quite narcissistically, what people might think of my unexpected departure.
I go through usual routines; first of course is my beloved, what she might think is a mystery to me. She might fancy it to be out of spite and – depending on the night I act, she may or may not be correct. Friends are easier, since they will most likely assume that my obvious character flaws rendered life unliveable, and sensibly regard my death as an unfortunate end that many fringe-elements opt-for.
Then comes my mother, for whom I harbour a difficult love. I am not close to her, and as such wonder; would she would have the insensitivity to feign understanding and use the event as proof of, or an excuse to further, her brainless, ‘aren’t we all one’ hippy agenda? Or would she perhaps be so shocked by the death of her son that she decides to drop the pretences and realise she’ll have to come to terms with, and ultimately accept responsibility for, what happens in her life.
My dad is easiest to understand, but the most difficult to accept. He would grieve that I had failed to see the inherent value in life, had succumbed to suffering without dealing with it. In a painfully Buddhist way, I fear he would conclude that my death had been caused by not learning enough or having learnt too much – In reality it is a simple disagreement: there is nothing to be said for life that cannot be said against it. So, in the sum of things, there’s nothing irrational in deciding to check out before the reaper gets any ideas. He’ll drag you out in his own time, with his own methods - this seems rather gruesome to me.
On reading this back I notice that mum has taken up a great deal of what I’d like to say, and I regret this since I actually consider her the least, and my friends the most. I certainly shan’t die yet, if it is down to me anyway, I am far too cowardly and squeamish to do much about my dissatisfaction with life. Besides, there are far too many bastards that I want to outlive. Say what you like about being bitter, hateful, spiteful or envious, but I tell you; they are what get me out of bed every day to stomach the first mouthful of coffee. The same cannot be said of the songbird, or the warm sunlight, or any general desire to do good, or leave the world better than I left it.

[Anonymous No.14299567]

God, I love thinking about myself so much. Me, me, me. I (sic) wish I could just have something else on my mind - sure, there are other things which captivate me, but on the end of the day I will be still riding the bus home, thinking about ME.

And women. I like thinking about women as well. I hate them, of course. But for some reason, they seem to like me. Women like it if the guy is a bit arrogant and a bit egotistic, I think. I'm glad they don't know, that under the facade of loudness and healthy self-confidence lies a massive narcissist. And I'm even happier that they don't know that underneath the massive narcissist dwells a little boy who's subconscious assures him of his superiority, yet the conscious part proves that wrong by the hour.

Sometimes I like to imagine I was 10 cm taller. Would I be a normie then? Perhaps if my dick was a bit bigger. Though, to think about it, it was most likely the late puberty that fucked me up.

It's winter now and sun sets almost at 4. What does this mean? The bus windows make perfect mirrors when I going back from work. I like to watch myself in them, but I make sure I move my head around every now and then so that the other passengers don't think I'm admiring myself. I'm not sure what I'd have done if I was ugly. There are two options; either I would kill myself, or I would stop thinking about women - as a coping mechanism. Because now, enough women give me attention to make me feel attractive, yet not enough to satisfy ME.

I am going on and on about ME, I know. Truly pathetic. Yes, anon, I am a huge faggot. Hah, I said you'll think "well at least he's self aware, maybe he's not that bad after all, I might even give him a (You)". No, anon, that's exactly what I want - the worst possible thing for me is that I get none. Validation is - unironically - better than sex.

[Anonymous No.14299584]

>>14299522
>In a painfully Buddhist way, I fear he would conclude that my death had been caused by not learning enough or having learnt too much
How is that Buddhist? That just sounds like basic analyzing skills any human being has.

[Anonymous No.14299768]

I dreamed a wild boar appeared outside the place where I lived, a place where a door was opened wide into nature. The boar laid down and died just inside the threshold of my home.

[Anonymous No.14300040]

>>14299768
boar is the vessel of the soul. it's a warning.

[Anonymous No.14300120]

>>14299768
take a walk in a nature.

[Anonymous No.14300208]

Neverending pain. A friend of a relative suggested weed and said that she could get some for me in hopes that it may help, because traditional pharmaceutic medicine is just making it worse instead of helping.

Hopeful that it helps. But in pain nonetheless.

[Anonymous No.14300286]

>>14288879
changes my personality :/

[Anonymous No.14300313]

>>14294234
this is a reddit post in some askmen thread recently, just so you anons know.

[Anonymous No.14300434]

>>14291303
based

[Anonymous No.14300491]

>>14295905
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming
I spend most of my day in dreams

[Anonymous No.14300546]

>>14295905
You're not alone. As >>14300491 mentions, maladaptive daydreaming is a thing and frankly more common than you'd think. It's a bad habit, even if nice at times, if only because it starts eating up a lot of free time that you could spend doing other things.

[Anonymous No.14301757]

There's this girl on telegram insisting me to disable the privacy setting that hides the last time we were online from each other.
I do it just because it stresses me out, the lack of reply and all, I'd rather remain ignorant, but why does she want to see my "times"?
Can a "redpilled" guy among you help me with this? What's the deal with women here?

[Anonymous No.14301807]

>>14301757
Just stop being a fag.

[Anonymous No.14301821]

>>14301807
this isn't as funny as you thought it would be while typing this

[Anonymous No.14301849]

>>14300491
Maladaptive? what a loaded term.

it's amazes me how the world only wants humans to be mindless drones unallowed to daydream without diagnosing themselves with some kind of disorder

[Anonymous No.14301868]

>>14300546
why do you wish to be an endlessly productive robot and not enjoy the productive power of your own brain? at the end of your life, the thing you will miss most will be your power to perceive, not all the trivial productive days spent forgetting

[Anonymous No.14301900]

>>14301821
I'm not trying to be funny but whatever big man.

[Anonymous No.14301941]

I've seen this all around the internet today, so I'm curious: what is it about a fetish for fat girls that makes people so incredulous? I've seen multiple times in different places today people refusing to believe that men could be attracted to fat women. What is it about a fat fetish that people find so difficult to believe? It's not even some new and novel fetish, relatively speaking, like the blueberry fetish. Fat women have existed for centuries. Is it really so strange to envision men that are attracted to them? I wouldn't think so, but it seems to be the case for a lot of people.

[Anonymous No.14302007]

I don't know if my reading is a form of escapism or the opposite of escapism. I feel like I read to experience emotions that are not available to me in real life. In real life I avoid situations that make me happy, sad, or angry. The fear of rejection and criticism dominates ever trait of my behavior and personality. In school when I'd receive a test or paper back from my teacher, it would take me a long time before I could force myself to look at the grade. I'd make sure to blur my vision first so that any other written comments would appear illegible to my eyes. When I pass a mirror or a particularly reflective window, I also blur my vision so I won't catch sight of my face. In real life I'm unloving and unlovable. There are certain books and certain scenes from books that I'll read repeatedly because of the emotion they bring out of me. Those passages, Levin's proposal in Anna Karenina, the funeral in Sword of Honor, let me cry without risk to my real life persona. And when I read them, I do cry, every time.

[Anonymous No.14302068]

>>14301757
what does she look like, is she worth the stress

[Anonymous No.14302102]

>>14302068
Cute polish girl, I could fly there to spend my vacations on a cabin with her... I'd say yes
I just don't understand what is the point in all this? What kind of information/slash satisfaction is she expecting to derive from the "times"?

[Anonymous No.14302114]

I don't know what to do with my life. I want to make an impact in some way, but I worry that I'll amount to nothing. The other option I feel is instead of focusing on the outer world, to focus on my inner spirituality and try to cultivate a strong relationship with God. Potentially by becoming a priest or monk, though I feel like an awful sinner currently so I don't even know I am worthy for those roles.

[Anonymous No.14302124]

>>14302102
slav girls be like that. Possessive

[Anonymous No.14302325]

>>14299493
Already did that. It keeps coming back :/

Eliminating artificial form of sexual arousal just give me anhedonia and depression after several weeks

[Anonymous No.14302336]

>>14287976
No, it's not that special. You come, she comes, you remark about how 'that was good babe', and then you awkwardly start putting your underwear back on because even next to your wife you still have the shame of Adam imprinted into your mind

[Anonymous No.14302379]

When I was 23 I married a woman from across the country who was just turning 30. I left everything in my home country for her, which admittedly wasn't much, but I still did it. Now I am 25 and we have been married for 2 years. She is now 32. All I can think about is women younger than me, and how if things were different I might be with one right now. I love her, but I don't think my life with her will be that good. She is a bit loopy, and her health is not that good. She doesn't enjoy anything. She loves me a lot though, which makes my life even worse because I want to divorce her. I wake up in the morning just soaking in guilt. I can't bring myself to do it. We have had multiple fights where divorce has been brought up but I never go through with it. I feel like I am wasting both of our lives.

[Anonymous No.14302464]

At the final judgement I will be unable to look anyone in the eye, and will depart into the eternal cold darkness of rejection from God, in which there will be no sound, no light, and no warmth, only a pain like no other in a state cut off from all goodness. Dead to creation, time, and mortality, I will not count the days, nor will one moment be after another, and there will only be one continuous moment of rejection from Being without beginning or end.

[Anonymous No.14302529]

It feels like my character is becoming increasingly conceited in the eyes of my old friends since I started reading books regularly, mostly classics and philosophy; probably others think this too. It's strange because one quality I value most in others is humility, and those who have this trait I best get along with.

[Anonymous No.14302580]

Why do I keep wishing I was a girl?

[Anonymous No.14302608]

Most 4chan users hide their power level right? But it is like a Church we all pray at. Will there be a day when one's choice of social media pipeline is brought out in the open?

[Anonymous No.14302783]

I had a really mentally exhausting day at my retail job today. I just got really overwhelmed (I don't usually work two days in a row and I'm quite fucked up) and had a mini panic attack. That has happened before and my customer service kind of goes to shit. Not really good and I'm working on it but it's difficult. Anyway, it happened when two regulars were in the store. My right hand just started shaking uncontrollably and I just politely asked them if I could take a moment to get ahold of myself. They said sure and I crouched down behind the counter and did so. I stood up after twenty or so seconds and everything seemed fine. One guy even asked me if I was okay which I thought was nice. It was very unprofessional of me but I couldn't control it. The weird thing with my hand was something I've never experienced before.

I also had my closing routine ruined. It was completely fine as I planned on staying later to get stuff done anyway and the person was very cool about everything and thanked me profusely for even unlocking the door and doing what was necessary. It just really ruined my routine and threw me off. I had to call my boss and have him walk me through things I halfway knew because my brain just wouldn't work. Just overwhelming. I'm not supposed to do that. Once we close we close. Customer comes first, though. It's contradictory. I don't like it. One or the other.

[Anonymous No.14302830]

Been drawing some more, I’m amazed by how, particularly with faces, moving a feature a few millimeters is all it takes to go from cute anime girl to inhuman monstrosity. I’m happy with what I drew tonight, even if I’m terrible I can visibly see my improvement which is all I can really care care about since I only started learning a few months ago. I wish I had taken drawing classes in high school desu.

[Anonymous No.14303130]

>>14300491
>>14298353
Allowing profile pics for Reddit was the stupidest fucking idea. You're already seeing dumb sluts posting their whorish profile pics and gaining votes 'because I'm a girl, teehee!'. The whole point of the internet is that there are no girls, only ideas. Reddit has been going to shit for years now, but this was the final blow.

[Anonymous No.14303134]

>>14298096
>Poison Wells
Not sure what you mean by this Anon. Anyway have fun being a herbivore, I'll seek you out for dinner :)

[Anonymous No.14303138]

Why do humans experience pleasure? How do humans experience pleasure? Do humans experience pleasure differently than other animals do? Are there any philosophers who write about this question?

I'm afraid that someone will answer this question with retort: "Well, there has to be something that serves to contrast with pain." But I'm not sure that answers the question. For one, the resulting question emerges "Why do humans experience pain?", and the surface-level responses to that question ("Because it enables us to survive by responding to dangerous stimuli") don't really help address the question of "Why pleasure?". Shouldn't the inverse of pain simply be neutrality, indifference? If pleasure merely emerges out of pain, why does it do it? If it doesn't, where DOES it come from?

[Anonymous No.14303161]

>>14298096
Also I want you to know that I'm not laughing at you. I wish you the best of luck in your quest to obtain moral perfection.

I just want to let you know that I want to consume you, metaphorically and spiritually but especially physically if I'm able to. I want to hunt you down and stab knives in your back. I want to bite your neck and eat your heart. I want to crack your bones in my teeth and suck out the marrow. Your weakness will make me and my descendants strong; you lowering yourself will make me that much greater in comparison. I thank you for helping me in my eventual greatness. Now grovel, *peasant* - and perhaps I will have pity on you like the lion pities the lamb.

[Anonymous No.14303166]

>>14302007
>unlovable
no such thing.

[Anonymous No.14303171]

>>14300208
weed does have great medical qualities, but for milder pains. do you know the pain source? if regular painkillers don't help, it may be neuropathic, then weed can provide some relief.
at least it wouldn't harm too try, there are practically no side effects compared to prescription painkillers

[Anonymous No.14303174]

>>14303138
Dopamine my bro

[Anonymous No.14303186]

>>14301941
fat was a common attraction when ideals of beauty were depicted in paintings. they idealised bodies too, but still, the painting heroine's charm is in her variety of mass and softness, motion of the flesh, you know. just drawing a polished mannequin-like girl with a soulless face and huge tits would make you a shit artist.
ideals changed with glossy magazines, now people still have the belief that "common" attraction is to those shooped models.

[Anonymous No.14303196]

>>14302830
based drawfren. next step is learning to intentionally draw unideal faces that still look human and believable enough.
i also started with anime and cartoony shit, now it's mostly the unusual (posted this pic in another thread yesterday)

[Anonymous No.14303202]

>>14303138
> don't really help address the question of "Why pleasure?"
but it does. pleasure drives us to do things necessary for survival and wellbeing - eating, resting, procreating. more complex pleasures (religious, pleasure from overcoming or improving oneself, etc) are there to encourage social and personal improvement, they're a product of our culture and also very real.

[Anonymous No.14303424]

just pirated ~50$ worth of foreign language books, plus out of print ones that are very rare. ebooks are a divine addition to regular ones

[Anonymous No.14303429]

My mind is empty and only wind is howling imitating action.

[Finland No.14303640]

>>14303161
Thanks, that made me horny.

[Anonymous No.14303754]

>>14303640
based
t. the only book scene was made me insanely horny was Story of the eye's priest eye scene

[Anonymous No.14303771]

>>14301757
I don't know, king.
I'd have to know her better.
If you want some autismo logic, then here you have two options:
1) You do as she asks, enabling the visibility or whatever. She says you're great that you are doing as she asked and likes you for that.
2) You don't do as she told and she says how manly of you and likes you for that.
Toss a coin or something.

[Anonymous No.14303801]

At which do the characters in the novella I write become unbelievable caricatures more for fitting a pinecone novel?
Is a 21 year old, bisexual, disabled, infertile early medieval reenactor with a drug habit and a BDSM fetish that likes awful edgy reddit memes and talks too loud, too much or still okay?

[Anonymous No.14303806]

>>14287897
can't tell if that painting is comfy or a hellscape

[Anonymous No.14304147]

> metro musicians play some GREAT folk classic, a crowd gathered to listen
feels good for once

[Anonymous No.14304296]

>>14301757
If you need your privacy, then keep it the way you have it.

[Anonymous No.14304436]

How do I escape the hand of apathy tightening around my throat? I have no ambition and feel completely devoid of energy all the time.

I'm like a newborn who's only interested by novelty but the veneer quickly wears away and any further pursuit seems trivial.

[Anonymous No.14304443]

>>14304436
Just do something.

[Anonymous No.14304509]

> mfw addicted to aliexpress stationary
i'm ascetic in everything except this. i have over 100$ worth of decorative tapes, purchased over the course of 6 months
is there a petty temptation you can't resist?

[Anonymous No.14304574]

>>14304509
/osg/ stickers

[Anonymous No.14304589]

>>14287976
I’m sure taking crystal meth is also pretty nice

[Anonymous No.14304929]

I live in filth and isolation but I still try to be happy.

[Anonymous No.14305052]

>>14304929
how can one be happy in isolation?

[Anonymous No.14305061]

>>14305052
you can't, it's all cope.

[Anonymous No.14305084]

>>14305052
I'm not sure, but as I said I'm trying. It works for some, I just need to figure out if I'm that type of person.

[Anonymous No.14305150]

Can't get rid of this cringe memory of mine. I was turbo autist back in 10th grade and for some reason I thought it was because I can't make everyone laugh by shouting funny shit during class, like the cool kids do. So for some reason during a test I shouted "OPPA GANGDAM STYLE". Not a single person laughed, not even a mock laugh, everyone was just confused. Fucking hell man, what was I thinking.

[Anonymous No.14305405]

>>14303801
Way too much. Is he an archetype of something? What are you trying to represent?

[Anonymous No.14306017]

After having a look at my past I've realized that my life had been better, largely because I was a bit more social and open to challenges of any kind. If I had to blame something for such actions, it would be my spirit as a teenager, for being a rebel is one of the fundamental attributes of the young man. During my teenage days I was happy; surprisingly more individualistic and ignorant about any kind of subject. I don't blame those who are ignorant, even as a young man, hatred is what I felt towards ignorance; however it should be welcomed with gratitude, for we become blind from great part of the madness that surrounds us.

About my sentimental side I can say that I've always been a deep romantic inside, despite of the cold image that has been portrayed of myself. My first relationship was special, it is what many argue to be the most pure and innocent proof of connection there is; teenage love. And the worst thing about my romantic past, is its contrast with my surreal present. As the saying says, one realizes what he once had the moment he looses it; nowadays I tend to spent time with individuals who I despise in secret, it not a matter of hatred here, for I don't wish for their soon death, it is certainly something beyond that. Sometimes I wish I was there for once, surrounded by people who truly cared about me, and not by these fools who argue to be my "friends" or worse; my "family". What is a friend to these people? certainly a bloody etiquette, a tag, a friend request, a social construct, a toy, a tool, a servant, a slave; something which they can use for their convenience and of course, against you. The average modern individual tries to be rational; this just proves how much of a fool they are, for I can take off their filthy masks and see their real faces. Even by a simple overlooked factor which is instinct, one can reveal what these fools hide you know? it only takes a gaze and sometimes a rigorous hearing, to reveal their obscure intentions.

A manifestation of escapism has been chasing me the past days; I wish I was able to leave far from all this madness, to a better place, to a paradise, a paradise lost.

[Anonymous No.14306109]

>>14303806
a comfy hellscape

[Anonymous No.14306155]

>>14288879
I had a friend that was prescribed a bunch of this new age mind altering cancer

Went from being an interesting unique person to a shell with barely any emotion or interest

My personal opinion is stay away from that garbage. Whatever you are, and your mental shortcomings, at least you can be sure it's the real you and not some buffered derivative shell

[Anonymous No.14306178]

>>14306017
the masks of those around you, ignorance is bliss, and the inability to face any of that. This is where we tend to get stuck

[Anonymous No.14306194]

>>14305405
>Way too much. Is he an archetype of something?
Issue is that the characters is based on a person I met a while ago.
He was also btw slightly overweight and wore a neckbeard.

[Anonymous No.14306203]

>>14305052
>>14305084
You bury yourself in escapism. Physical pleasure of consumption. Much like everything else in life, it gets old and tired after a while.

The most intense feelings, the ugliest and most pleasurable, peak in intensity during the first instance of experience. It's all downhill from there.

[Anonymous No.14306226]

>>14304436
pursue mastery of something
pursue new experience
allow yourself to part with elements of your life and replace them with new ones

one of those may spark a drive

[Anonymous No.14306229]

Do I need to give up on the idea of ever being truly free? Am I ever going to be able to seperate myself from the system we are all trapped in or is there no true escspe and the only real options are going to be whatever society allows rather than what I actually want? Is the only way to save our species going to be to destroy it? Are we just that doomed? Just the playthings of god/gods of cruelty?

[Anonymous No.14306241]

>>14302464
there is only the circle
everything else is some perverted abstraction
you engineered with the help of institutionalized forms of the same

Everything you wrote is a valueless abstraction

[Anonymous No.14306273]

>>14306229
how free is someone living removed from society relative to someone living in the midst of it, adhering to all social norms and standards?

In other words, is a bird on the tree branch freer than the one in the cage? If you think the answer to this question is simple, you don't understand what freedom is

[Anonymous No.14306283]

>>14306155
but what if you suffer without it?

[Anonymous No.14306287]

>>14306194
And so is he a neckbeard? A degenerate? A symbol of the modern male in 2019? If he's going to have all those traits they should be pointing towards one of those, but the character as you describe just seems scattered.

[Anonymous No.14306302]

>>14306273

So is my only options the ones someone else willing to give rather than what one can take? Is humanity ultimately just that weak and pathetic?

[Anonymous No.14306310]

>>14306283
Everyone suffers. Life is coping with the degree of suffering that your roll of the dice granted you.
Do you believe all those around you are in a sublime state of being and you're the only one that needs to be fixed?

[Anonymous No.14306313]

>>14306194
If I was you I'd play up certain aspects of his character to the point of satire. Make him disabled due to his own fetish, make him bisexual due to being pressured into fucking a homosexual to not seem intolerant. Replace drugs with excessive porn and video games, and throw out the Renaissance fair thing because no one gives a shit. Make his entire being into being a critique of the modern male, especially the archetypical 'redditor'.

[Anonymous No.14306360]

>>14306302
take what you want, irrespective of what others including the collective offer.

If you're happy in the cage stay in it and don't complain. If you're not happy in the cage, bash your head against it until there is a hole big enough to get out. The only thing you truly have is your will, irrespective of what all the pseudo intellectual accumulation of philosophical cancer tells you otherwise.

That is true humanity, in my opinion. Everything else is just bottom feeding garbage. Society was born on a few picking up what they wanted and taking it. It will always be this way.

[Anonymous No.14306424]

>>14306310
It's all about degree of suffering. Majority of people can go through the things relatively easily but there are some who get fucked in simplest tasks.

[Anonymous No.14306508]

>>14306424
yes, but strength and the core of who you are is forged from your ability to deal with suffering.

The """medicine""" they feed you turns you into a discardable husk

[Anonymous No.14306620]

I was flying back from North Carolina after thanksgiving, not having masturbated at all for the week I was there. My soul was crushed when I found myself seated between an asperger black guy and a little girl, and a 5/10 blonde sat in the window seat in front of me. So close and yet so far. If I had only been placed one row in front I would’ve pushed my leg into hers, spent the flight peacefully / erotically cuddling up next to her, and likely had sex that night.
Instead I sat where I was having very mild sexual tension with a 10 year old girl.

I had my aunt pick me up and give me a ride to my place. My aunt is in her 30’s, is sexually repressed and has never had a boyfriend.

When I was very young, we watched porn together and I masturbated by humping a pillow. When I was in my late teens I came into her room at night and asked if she ‘wanted a massage’ which was a fantasy I had masturbated to involving her. She said no but the next morning she practically sat on my lap and pressed herself into me. I was unaroused at that point though.

Now here we are in her car as I’m getting a ride, and while she’s talking I’m deciding whether or not I should reach over and grab her inner thigh and pussy. Even if she put up resistance, I don’t think she’d reject me. How awkward would it be though? What if she looked bad naked? I didn’t do it, but it’s something I’m still on the fence with.

[Anonymous No.14307057]

>>14297998
My younger sister also has this book, I don't know if it was a gift or if she bought it herself. I just noticed it near her bed and I'm slightly concerned. She is still underaged and I don't think that her future looks bright. I want to belive it does, but she seems quite childish and arrogant. I don't want her to repeat mistakes I made. She is also growing up to be consumer, american liberal (we are living in Central Europe), and globalist - I don't think any of these is going to bring her happiness or purpose, especially since she isn't particulary wealthy, smart or pretty and it doesn't seem like she is going to be. I think that if she is going to follow this path, one day she will look at her wrinkled belly, then at her collection of slightly expensive shoes, few vacation photos from not-so-exotic places and unfinished glass of wine and empty boxes of chocolates and ask herself "Am I happy?" "Where my life had gone?". Maybe it just me being projecting faggot, or overprotective asshole, but I am worried that she is going to end up bitter and alone.