/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.14254169]

Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.14254224]

1/2

In Dexter's Laboratory the laboratory is symbolic of the psychosexual space shared only by brother and sister in which their development is ever recapitulated. The brother is building, accumulating, refining; his meta-erection, as it were, his one genital development fractally nesting his many erections and drawing them back to itself, like the number 10 draws back its decimals. The paradox of the erection always requiring the penis to be soft and small, symbolized by constant tinkering, as well as the testicles being alternatively empty and full recalling states of appalling undevelopment and yearning pre-ejaculation, respectively, we well as their binary cyclicity, symbolized by the countless disparate machines that are either under construction or finished but never minded again. His work is as menial as his results are trivial. The laboratory per the brother alone is terminally boring, the daily recapitulation of his weakness. Man's sexuality is quite literally only strong inasmuch as he is inside a vagina. Of course, pretension of sexual strength is then ascribed to him throughout scripted sexuality. Whereas the sister is prancing, musing, playing; in contrast, woman lacking visible signs of arousal, symbolized by her often sneaking in unnoticed, directly correspondent emission, symbolized by her often doing nothing, basic continence, symbolized by her being unable to stop herself, etc. is a meta-flowing, as it were, back to her one genital UNdevelopment. The paradox of the "un" being a paragon of strength, perhaps development is actually pruning or Kenomatic weakening,. The Dialectic between pure top-down Form and bottom-up "chaos", or "clay", or "primordial soup", itself manifested in the woman's genitals: the elegance and discretion of the former in a simple opening that nevertheless separates the erogenous from the reproductive, and vileness of the latter in the repulsive substances contained therein. Woman's sexuality is quite literally only weak inasmuch as she has a penis inside of her. Of course, pretension of sexual weakness is then ascribed to her throughout scripted sexuality. Many of the show's antics are even distastefully obvious, like the coincidence between passivity and volatility in woman's sexuality: despite contributing nothing to the laboratory, she is the one who causes its greatest releases of energy with the least amount of effort, or her threatening to "push the button".

[Anonymous No.14254234]

>>14254224

2/2

But, moreover, why? What IS this "psychosexual space"? A recollection of sexuality before scripts, tangential or even opposite to actual sex. Perhaps the script is not just wrong in inverting the hypostatic power of man and woman through the particular kind of sex it demands, but wholly wrong in demanding bodily sex at all. Ironically, its biggest fans readily admit that what precedes and follows it is bad, that the distance between their intuition and the actuality of sex, and between each other, both as two selves and as two sexes, is greatest during sex, so it seems like they all but rebuke it already, only having to concede one more point. Perhaps the "true sex" is in earnest recollection of one's own sexuality in and of itself, both as absolutely that and particularly this, and through Reason alone reveling its polar opposite, which has done the same and is now actually not an idea beheld by one but an identity communing with one. The laboratory is a metaphor for such a "telepathic" vista.

[Anonymous No.14254239]

Who was in the wrong here

“I want to date a man not a plastic doll. Waxing shaving, plucking bleaching, toning, flexing, oiling – it’s all too much.” I look up from the article I’m reading on the way home to my mothers house after spending the afternoon at the dog track and I’m confronted by a reflection that is all to clear. A boar mounting his mother among piles of human refuse the two grotesque figures a demented reduction of a some forgotten society oblivious to their surroundings. In the distance two smokestack penetrate the grey sky leaking darker grey smoke upward. I sigh and think about what my mother is cooking us for supper.

>awful, learn to punctuate properly

>Punctuation is not necessary

>You’re not Joyce, yes it is

>Oh get over yourself, if Mccarthy can do it so can he
>The comma is implied and therefore not actually needed, it may take a bit to get it but once you do it's one of the best ones here

[Anonymous No.14254249]

Some thinkers believe that they see moral principles in nature. What they see is the inertia of people to discard learned behaviour. Morality is nothing but the biological/inborn resistance that slows our evolution. From this follows two things: 1) There is no morality, there is only inertia. 2) There is no overcoming of morality, only the overcoming of our biology.

[Anonymous No.14254250]

>>14254169
it’s been a while since I last saw her, but I still think about her, every day.

[Anonymous No.14254258]

i can't think of anything more beautiful than a woman's blue eyes

[Anonymous No.14254265]

>>14254169
/sci/ is the most r*ddit board. I have a feeling it's the only board where r*dditors are the majority. Post any minor thing that mainstream labcoats don't endorse or make a philosophical post and watch them seethe for 300 replies. I will admit that they post nice gifs and have a few good threads from time to time, but sticking around there is a big mistake.

[Anonymous No.14254271]

>>14254224
>creepy psychosexual stuff
Well, it was made by a Jew after all.

[Anonymous No.14254285]

i lost at life the moment i was born

[Anonymous No.14254328]

>>14254169
Livy. I started reading book one of his history of rome and I don't know if I'll be able to finish all five I have right now. I want to read it because I also have Machiavelli's "discources on livy", and then finally read "on machiavelli" by some rando.
I'm about 20 pages in to live, and the writing style and the names remind me of the Silmarillion .

[Anonymous No.14254334]

>>14254224
yo what the fuck is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.14254346]

>>14254169
>Write what's on your mind
Pussy and cooming

[Anonymous No.14254348]

So many different things need doing to improve my life,
all of them pulling on me with equal weight,
such that I do not move,
and therefore do none.

[Anonymous No.14254349]

>>14254258
Honestly, same. One of my best friends is blue eyed and she's absolutely beautiful.
>>14254285
OK Schopenhauer
>>14254265
sounds fun to troll even if they are retards.

[Anonymous No.14254359]

>>14254346
yikes

[Anonymous No.14254364]

>>14254169
Every furrie, trans, cuck, homo, or whatever degenerate ought to be executed on the spot.

[Anonymous No.14254368]

>>14254349
Why don’t you ask her out anon?

[Anonymous No.14254424]

>>14254249
no sense
>>14254258
>i can't think of anything more beautiful than a woman's blue eyes
a girl’s blue eyes

[Anonymous No.14254429]

>>14254368
I might. Problem is that she goes to college like two hours away while I work(I'm taking the rough equivalent of a gap year). I only see her like once a month.

[Anonymous No.14254462]

>>14254169
I feel im getting old and i haven't achieve anything worthwhile, but then again would i be happy if i did?... probably if i did i would have money to have top tier escorts everyday sucking my dick so after all am i just a slave of my limbic system i am just here to please this jew living inside my body why do i even wake up every morning i have no reason to do it and no reason to help the faggot inside me to dont kill itself in some retarded action and yet i still do, life is a tragedy i wish i had control i wish i wasnt slaved to a body form, thanks god for dreams tho they're my only release, every time i gain self awareness in a dream i murder everyone on sight, those limbic cucks need to understand I'm not just they're cuck slave fuck them and fuck life in general

[Anonymous No.14254465]

>>14254429
I do video chat with her and one of our other friends most nights though. This could be some form of wishfulness, but I feel like there's an implicit agreement we'll get together eventually when we can. Agreement isn't the correct word exactly.
It's just that we've talked about what we want in a partener and we fit each other's requirements perfectly. like, down to the letter. I don't think that she's interested in other people. I am afraid though. What if I'm fucking it up? ooooohhhhhh.

[Anonymous No.14254620]

I wish I could look at the stars right now. It's always nice to see their light, even if its source has long been extinguished. Unfortunately, I am currently in a place with a lot of artificial light which occupies my eyes, rendering me incapable of viewing that which has existed for centuries.
I miss the starlight. It's a consistent element of energy for me, and I long to see it again.
I'm excited to see the starlight, but I know that when I do, I will see it alone.
If only I had the patience to wait to see the stars with someone else, but alas, the light is far too tempting for me to wait.

[Anonymous No.14254707]

What is different between a lover who runs from what they don't understand and a lover who peruses what they don't understand. Who is the coward? The person who refuses to face their fears or the person who is obsessed.

And as the person who fears, gets closer, the person who peruses wishes to quit even more - both begin to fall into the opposite of what they want. both of them begin to realize certain things about themselves.

Perhaps the lover who fears, realizes that they must accept and attempt to love what they don't understand, even if it means the worst possible outcome. And perhaps the lover who peruses realizes that they would grow, if they were to let go.

The course of true love never did run smooth.

[Anonymous No.14254903]

I'm trying to keep from mastubating. it is going well. I don't think it's bad necessarily but I do think wathcing porn is.
I don't think I'll ever get married, and I don't think I'll ever have sex again. I wonder about how bitter this will make me. Probably not very, I imagine it gets easier and it is very bearable at this point.
I wish I weren't so shallow. I can be tormented by the memory of the smallest faux pas. Not even something bad, just not in good form. It's ridiculous but I don't have the power to stop it. I pray Allah will help.
This vanity has me worrying about how I'm going to come across at a party this weekend.
I have run out of meds and can't get any for a couple of days. I hope this will not kill me.

[Anonymous No.14255215]

Why do women always hold you and hug and spoon, kiss you tenderly, hold your hand, play with your chest hair and wrap themselves around you after a one night stand. It makes me feel so alone.

[Anonymous No.14255227]

>>14255215
Probably because they are bonded to you now. I feel lonely for basically the opposite reason. I love a girl and we are friends but I can't get myself to ask her out. see >>14254429
and >>14254465

[Anonymous No.14255229]

Did the idea of romantic love even exist before the middle ages and chivalry? Most examples of marriages and what not from before then seem to focus on the husband’s role as a protector and provider and the wife’s support and devotion of him. Very little of what we consider love. Is romantic love just a collective meme we’ve all been propagating? Should we just model the Greeks and find close friends we occasionally have (completely platonic) sex with instead?

[Anonymous No.14255238]

>>14255229
See Song of Songs, Egyptian love poetry, Catullus, Sappho

[Anonymous No.14255240]

>>14254364
Rude.

[Anonymous No.14255252]

>>14255229
>Should we just model the Greeks and find close friends we occasionally have (completely platonic) sex with instead?
n-no homo, right?

[Anonymous No.14255281]

Im slowly losing interest in reading books because they hardly affect me anymore. It doesnt hit the heart.

[Anonymous No.14255312]

>>14255229
The idea of finding your other half in someone of the opposite gender comes from the greeks doofus.

[Anonymous No.14255335]

>>14254465
You gotta be careful man. I wasted 4 years waiting for a girl I thought was into me, and in the end nothing happened. If there is something really there then you will make it work regardless of the inconvenience. But I really urge you not to get comfortable deferring things, because you'll get trapped like that and your feelings will get hurt even worse.

[Anonymous No.14255367]

>>14255238
Only familiar with the Song of Solomon out of those but I wouldn’t say it was about romantic love. It may be easy to push that idea onto it but I don’t think the text supports it. Then there’s the invariable problem of reading a translation.

>>14255312
That alone isn’t romantic love either. I’d also argue the idea of a “soul mate” has fallen out of fashion and only persists out of cultural inertia.

[Anonymous No.14255410]

>>14255335
Thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind.

[Anonymous No.14255671]

can't wait for the fall of the US

[Anonymous No.14255704]

My ability to write is strongly connected to my environment. The more boring the environment the more quickened and lucid my thoughts and the more vital and inspired my imagination. I don't understand how big cities have a literary reputation when their very nature is hostile to the considered introspection and attention that support mental labor.

I have a theory that writing is about filling a void. Without dull and barren surroundings there is no motive to spring the imagination into action, as it is satisfied by real life. You only accomplish this work when there is nothing more pleasurable you could be doing.

[Anonymous No.14255711]

>>14254258
The rising sun.

[Anonymous No.14255776]

After spending another thanksgiving around my extended family bathing in the dreary inanities of contemporary American life I’m fully convinced my goal for the future needs to be to make and save enough money to gtfo and move to Japan or something. Now I’m not a delusional weeb, I don’t think the east is some magical land where I’ll suddenly be happy and content and find an IRL waifu, but I do think it would be better. Much, much better. Hopefully this dream will keep me going through the winter, when I’m cooped up inside even more than usual.

[Anonymous No.14255793]

>>14254620
I saw the Milky Way for the first time I can remember this past summer. I had been fasting for more than four days and driven over 1500 miles in that time.

On top of having not eaten, I decided to add on sleep deprivation while driving over 1,000 miles on my return trip with only a brief nap to break it up. Sometime well past midnight, and in the middle of absolutely nowhere Montana, I wandered off the main highway and onto gravel country roads seeking some place with the least light pollution I could find. I spent maybe an hour guessing my way through back roads in unfamiliar territory.

When I finally chose my spot I experienced the strangest sensation before I even got out of my car. A tingly sensation, both empty yet full, filled me. When I stopped out into the cold, thin air and looked up an incredible energy coursed through me. To see that grand, glowing cloud of discrete stars coalesced into continuity above me made me experience that nameless feeling with even greater intensity. I was both esteemed and humbled by it as constellations I knew, well, were nearly lost among all the additional light that is washed out by the additional atmosphere of my home state.

The last year of my life has confronted me with some of the most complicated and intriguing experiences possible. Experiences I can confidently say are rare in human consciousness. Yet that one, despite being so simple and common among our ancestors, still stands out as being the most profound.

[Anonymous No.14255830]

>>14254169
My leg. Its lame. Out of surgery going on 16 weeks now, about to get another brace. Every step hurts, I bite my tongue and never show anyone else or say a word of it, they cannot know I am weakened. I am lame, I am pathetic, I have become the weak link that I have always believed would bring about the end of man. They tell me to be grateful, my leg works, I'm walking, without crutches, my stance is good, my posture is good, why feel pity? They do not understand. It may be good enough for them, but my standards exceed theirs, these people think a 9-5er is something to strive for, they are fools with no ability or ambition. I am unlike them, I am not giving up, once they give me this new brace for intensity I will give it a few more months and if the pain does not recede, I know what I must do.

[Anonymous No.14255859]

i hate being born in the USA and nearly everything that came out of it.

[Anonymous No.14256052]

I'm working a 13 hour shift. It's a job the the Honor students have to do at my boarding school. It isn't for pay. I sit at the front desk on my phone all day. I am the first line of defense this school has from anyone who shouldn't be here. Budget cuts and lack of staff have led to this sorry state. I'm the guy who's going to prevent a gunman from getting on center? Fat chance, I'd cheer him on. It wouldn't be such a bad job if it wasn't for the boss. Am I a student or a staff member? I'm working in the place of a staff member. Yet, I am treated like a student. He calls every hour for an update.
"Did those students return from pass yet?"
"No."
"Call me when they do."
"Okay."
"Better yet, call me over the radio."
"Okay."
"Say who's working tomorrow?"
"Me."
"Alright tell me when those students return from pass."
"Okay."
"Just call my phone."
"Okay."
This isn't hyperbole. He is the type of old man whose been a sports coach his whole life. Well, ever since he tore his ACL in the big county wide boxing match of 42. It's a story I hear monthly. A person who believes in the positive, life changing, powers of a "hang in there" poster. I hate him. Even when he is nice I hate him. He bought me a slice of gas station pizza and a coke. "For my hard work." Any gift would only of made me more angry. I'm working three 13 hour shifts in a row. If I don't I'll lose my Honor Dorm privileges. My emotions can't be bought with pizza. They could be bought with him doing his job right. There are supposed to be Honor Dorm trips monthly. He sat on the request for two months. Not out of malice, but out of incompetence. I hate incompetent people. I can't fix them, or suck up to them. He lost his inhaler one day. It was in his jacket.
The reason I'm writing this is because 10 minutes ago I was reminded of my hate for him. He called me on the phone. "Can you close and lock the front gate after I leave?" Every other staff member parks their car, unlocks the gate, drives through, gets out, and then locks it behind themselves. No, he calls me, asks me to open the gate for him. It's freezing rain and 100m away.
There is no way to tell him no. I'm already at risk of losing Honor Dorm because of my negative attitude. If I complain to other staff about him then they tell him about it. I get another attitude complaint. I'm in gridlock. I've signed away my right to sue. I'm metaphorically trapped into being over worked and over stressed.
My punk roots come out. I'm throwing the gate lock into the woods. I'm placing tacks on the road. I'm pissing on the floor. It's almost winter. The green ladybugs have invaded my room. I capture hundreds of them in an empty bottle. Wait till he's out of his office, throw it into his room.

I need to think more subtle, more nefarious. These child pranks won't bring change, he's too dumb to recognize my anger, but they'll buy me some dignity. Like a stink bug being squashed. I'm a real fucking person! Incompetence is malice! He is attacking.

[Anonymous No.14256104]

There's something I've been trying to say for a long time now but I don't know how to. Every time I start to write about it or open my mouth it shrinks from me, but when I'm alone it feels overpowering sometimes. I want to point to it because I feel like it's right there but there's no direction to point in. I want to tell people to look towards it but my eyes can't see it either. I try to name it but come up blank, and I'm silent when I try to speak its name aloud.
I deliberately run from it and find I've only managed to travel from one end of it to the other. Sleep doesn't hide me from awareness of its presence. Yet when I try to turn to face it, to grasp it and hold it up to see it clearly, it hides its face.

[Anonymous No.14256133]

>>14254258
I knew girl whose eyes were so dark they were almost black. I thought that those were very beautiful.

[Anonymous No.14256137]

>>14256133
Almost black eyes are so uncanny. Whenever I look at someone with eyes like that I can't stop thinking they are some kind of demon or that they don't have any soul.

[Anonymous No.14256150]

>>14254224
only on /lit/

[Anonymous No.14256159]

>>14256137
My eyes are unbelievably dark blue. In all of my school photos they looked black.

[Anonymous No.14256297]

I am convinced that /his/ is the most schizo board currently.

[Anonymous No.14256299]

>>14254224
>>14254234
incredibly based

[Anonymous No.14256305]

>>14254258

Green eyes

[Anonymous No.14256371]

>>14256133
>>14256137

Black eyes gang. As a kid I used to get called a demom all the time and compared to those kids from horror movies. Now that I'm older I find them quite striking and distinctive.

[Anonymous No.14256379]

Bog cock shemale

[Anonymous No.14256381]

The snake swallows me whole for his lonely thanksgiving. The insides are warm. Tomorrow he’ll let me out and we’ll become fast friends.

[Anonymous No.14256387]

>>14256381
Based and vorepilled.

[Anonymous No.14256403]

>>14256371
Yeah, people called me a 'demon', too.
>Now that I'm older I find them quite striking and distinctive.
I really really love them.

[Anonymous No.14256412]

How do I stop being a smartass to this girl I like. I just met her and can't tell if she reciprocates the feeling but she did act the same way back and kept doing that "I'm so bad at this" woman thing. I'm extremely dominant in conversation btw so it was a mix of (play) insulting her and friendliness.

t. entp confused

[Anonymous No.14256431]

>>14254224
>>14254234
A profound Lacanian psychoanalytic deconstructionist study of the problematic subtexts of Dexter's Laboratory.

[Anonymous No.14256436]

>>14256052
>no greentexts
dropped.

[Anonymous No.14256472]

>>14254169
i hate women and feminism

[Anonymous No.14256474]

>>14256472
don't date women then

[Anonymous No.14256488]

>>14256474
I don't think he has a choice in the matter.

[Anonymous No.14256501]

>>14256474
no i like women for sex i just don't like them having rights because they're supposed to be for sex

[Anonymous No.14256521]

What does sleeping next to someone feel like?

[Anonymous No.14256529]

>>14256521
It's nice. Unless it's a really hot night and the combined body-heat of two people turns the bed into a sauna.

[Anonymous No.14256563]

>>14256521
it's nice, the arm under the head is always awkward though. nice when they put their head on your chest. spooning usually leads to sex. sometimes there's sweating. sometimes it's awkward or feels forced, but it's definitely less painful than sleeping alone

[Anonymous No.14256592]

>>14256521
I remember when I was 13, my first girlfriend and I shared a bed together, and I thought that it was the best thing in the world. She was much taller so I had to be the little spoon.

[Anonymous No.14256645]

great op pic

this morning is perfect. sky completely gray, thickly fogged, background looks like a chinese watercolor

[Anonymous No.14256652]

>>14256521
i don't like it, but i'm very introverted and repulsed by any human touch. sleeping makes me too vulnerable to not do it alone with door closed

[Anonymous No.14256678]

>>14256521
I dislike it. I want the bed to myself. Also I'm a queer so two big bulky boys in bed is not the best. Anyone over 6ft is more trouble than they're worth to sleep with.

[Anonymous No.14256689]

>>14254169

Born to shit; forced to shit; your first mistake was thinking there is a difference.

[Anonymous No.14256721]

>>14256689
Anon, everyone has to shit. Even worms. And you know worms have no soul.

[Anonymous No.14256809]

>>14256721
>girls shit
Yeah right, you're delusional

[Anonymous No.14256845]

>>14254465
>>14255410
Ask her out dude better to try and fail then never bother and always have that “what if” regret rotting away in your soul for the rest of your life

[Anonymous No.14256861]

>>14256845
true. if you do, worst case scenario is getting rejected, if you don't - it's possbly losing your lifetime partner

[Anonymous No.14256918]

How do you reconcile the fact that you were a victim and then became the victimizer? How can a person live with the fact that he is both victim and victimizer? How can his soul be split so? How can he pick up the broken pieces?
I think this is what lies behind all of my current problems. I mean, this is so hard to put into words, this contradiction. Fuck.
Every time I empathize with victims I am reminded of that undeniable fact. Every time I am disgusted by the victimizer and its transgression I get nauseous because I am no different.
How can I find someone I will be able to confide in? How can anyone be able to sympathize with a victim that is also an abuser? How can other victims empathize with me, even though I went through the same as them?

[Anonymous No.14256923]

>>14256918
Who do you believe has victimized you, and who do you fear you're currently victimizing.

[Anonymous No.14256938]

>>14256923
I write in present tense because the past is ever present for me, because that is how it feels right know. Sometimes I think that is what I deserve, the infinite contingency of my memories. I can't have good dreams, every time I dream it's either a nightmare or something bizarre.
I don't 'believe' someone victimized me, I don't 'fear' I victimized someone. Someone did victimize me when I was an child, and I did victimize someone when I was an adolescent. These facts I can never escape.

[Anonymous No.14256949]

>>14256938
you're truly repenting being a teen bully, and that's all that needed. for childhood abuse, better ask a therapist.

[Anonymous No.14256961]

>>14256949
You don't understand.

[Anonymous No.14257001]

>>14254169
Born to live

[Anonymous No.14257043]

>>14256961
Probably because you're speaking in circles and doing a terrible job explaining yourself. I'm a victim of your prose.

[Anonymous No.14257056]

>>14256918
Just recognize that you can never change your past, but you can change who you are in the present and make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes. Additionally, try to make right whatever wrongs you’ve done to others and let them know that you acknowledge that your actions were wrong, and that you’re trying to change.

[Anonymous No.14257068]

>>14254258
A boy's green eyes :)

[Anonymous No.14257076]

>>14254169
Maybe things aren’t so terrible after all

[Anonymous No.14257079]

I need a job, why is it so hard to get a decent job with a university education I thought things would be different when i quit my last wagecuck position

[Anonymous No.14257081]

>>14257076
>>14257001
>>14255711
>>14254258
>>14256133
based bloomers

disgraced doomers
>>14255281
>>14254285
>>14255859
>>14256381
>>14256472

[Anonymous No.14257086]

>>14257043
I'm sorry. It's hard to put it into words for the first time. I don't want to go into the details but I was never a bully, that is not my crime.
It's just impossible to conceive a way of settling the dispute in my heart. Both parts are mutually exclusive. If I acknowledge one, then I am automatically condemning the other. Only in this limbo can both of them coexist, only then can it make sense. Walking in tightrope, hanging by a thread.

>>14257056
This is already done. It was the first step. I know I won't repeat the same mistakes. I know the past can't be changed. Then why do I still feel like this?

[Anonymous No.14257098]

>>14254258
A feminine penis on a bimbo shemale manufactured to satisfy men's desires

[Metr No.14257108]

Took too many pills yesterday, passed out around five in the afternoon and woke at three am. Missed out on going out and seeing a girl I was getting on with but I ended up isolating myself for a month & now probably thinks I've lost interest. No matter because I'm realising more and more how little outside of me matters in terms of it's transitory nature. One thing bleeds into the next. You can sometimes sense a collective schematic for appearance and behaviors across different people you meet. Nothing really ends. So I'm relaxed. It's eight in the morning coming up to nine. Going to take some more pills, make a coffee and watch Metropolis.

[Anonymous No.14257175]

>>14254169
I was interested in Guenon so I started the Introduction to the Study of Hindu Doctrines and became depressed. I'm a brainlet and I'm having trouble understanding what he's saying. I've never read any anything other than literature but this is pitiful. The only reason I haven't resigned myself from reading the book is because I made a promise to myself, but the strength is leaving me sentence by sentence.

[Anonymous No.14257214]

>>14257108
based copecel

[Anonymous No.14257260]

>>14257086
Someone sexually abused you, and you sexually abused someone else. You were hurt, and then you hurt someone. There is no contradiction here. Everyone who lives performs both roles. Your experience with both roles may be more vivid, but you are not alone.

How can you understand "right" if you haven't first fully understood wrong? Now you have seen both sides of wrong, been its victim and its perpetrator. Now you will live the rest of your life more able to recognize right. Your responsibility is to use that knowledge and your own will to create rightness where you go.

[Anonymous No.14257324]

>>14257175
Don't be like that. Read something else. Find something that instills genuine curiosity and wonder in you, and read that.

[Anonymous No.14257339]

>>14256961
i was aboout to also say you shouldnt be offended at other anon's use of words (believe and fear) because you sound neurotic enough to assume the problems are not that important. also >>14257043

[Anonymous No.14257385]

Fuck you all pretentious faggots

[Anonymous No.14257405]

Jung once said that you should make the unconscious conscious or else it will dictate the rest of your life and you will call it fate. The point being, unconscious thought dictates your behavior in a way that you cannot examine and adjust, but in the realm of the conscious you can do that.

But what is a man to do when they cannot even act on conscious thought? When no wealth of understanding or self-comprehension is ever enough to spur him to action? Not just to force himself through difficult circumstances, but even through the simplest and most mundane action. When a man's self control has atrophied to the point that he can no longer fight against the basic inertia of life and habit, he becomes less than human. Unable to effect even the simplest of changes to his life, no matter how conscious his considerations of his circumstances may be, he becomes only a shell wiling away time until its end. And in this pitiable situation he becomes one of the most miserable examples of life, for unlike others in his position, he is not there due to a lack of understanding or knowledge, but due to a fundamental weakness and inability to live.

[Anonymous No.14257561]

>>14257405
Seems like you know what to do but cannot do it because it would contradict your inner values.

[Anonymous No.14257566]

>>14254169
what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.14257596]

>>14256052
This reminds me of when I went to prep school. I felt similarly of folks there and used to get in all kinds of mischief. This doesn’t sound that bad though, anon and yeah, maybe the guy is incompetent, but he doesn’t sound so terrible.

[Anonymous No.14257605]

>>14256412
Sounds like normal flirting to me. Smartass teasing is pretty normal if you don’t go overboard or beat around the bush. Just ask her out.

[Anonymous No.14257612]

>>14257405
I know what you mean. I've felt social anxiety all of my life and only lately realized the cause, something quite obvious that happened when I was a kid, but that my mind had suppressed until I had become a middle-aged loner. Now, even knowing the cause, I still feel helpless to act any differently. Somehow understanding the reasons for my irrational behavior only felt freeing at the moment of realization. In my personal conduct nothing has changed. We're our own jailers.

[Anonymous No.14257698]

Anons, are the Library of America collections any good? I want to get their Vonnegut one, it's much cheaper than buying his books individually.

[Anonymous No.14257750]

>>14256052
>he's given you gits & recognised your hard work
this is a sign that his heart is in the right place. just talk to him, anon. Maybe he calls you so often becuase he thinks you're nervous and it'll comfort you? maybe he wants to be a mentor type and doesn't realise how it comes across?
Air your grievances, don't act out maliciously. Just hear what he has to say and make your point known

[Anonymous No.14257776]

>>14257405
Anyone has the capacity to act on conscious thought. It may be extremely difficult, but it can be done - you mustn't think that it's over before anything's happened.
Just start small. Make one effort every day to act consciously, no matter how small. Even something as small as recognising you're acting in habit and choosing to continue that way is enough.

[Anonymous No.14257779]

>>14257385
Rude.

[Anonymous No.14257835]

>>14257605
I've only known her for like a couple of days anon. I think she probably knows already as it was obvious to another girl.

Just one problem, there's a male chin in her profile pic. And I was really thinking she liked me, she's literally the most attractive woman I've seen in my life too(and I'm Australian).

Ahh well, always some fun in the chase.

[Anonymous No.14257862]

>>14254169
I live in fear that one day AI text analysis will get good enough to de-anonymize 4chan posts.

[Anonymous No.14257864]

Is humanity dying? It seems like most people have nothing going on behind their eyes, a constant blank stare. All they worry about is money or status or the latest drama or all these things but in the lives of those with more money or status than they. All they can do is spout the same catch phrases and in jokes over and over in their slurred speech, doubtless brought on by their disease-wracked minds and then doubly addled by the numerous medications they take for it. In my insanity, I feel like the only sane one left.

[Anonymous No.14257871]

How can you amor fati if you're mentally ill?

[Anonymous No.14257892]

>>14257864
Hang out with better people

[Anonymous No.14257907]

Going to be spending the next couple days in the town I went to school in. It's my mum's birthday Monday, she thinks I'm only staying the weekend but I'll be sort-of surprise visiting her. I still own a flat there so she won't know.
I'm looking forward to playing my guitar, skate around the neighbourhood, pet my cat, drink tea with my mum in her garden, have coffee by myself in the morning and pizza in the evening.
I wonder why it's so hard to get the same feeling of peace and easy, senseful living here in my hometown.

[Anonymous No.14257957]

God has spoken to me, and He told me to say the following, and has appointed me His representative on behalf of humanity, so that I may now tell you, my people, what He has told me to say to you,

"Let my people know that there is great pain in the world, and suffering, for mysterious reasons far beyond your comprehension. Everywhere you look is sin, the roads are filled to the brim with it, and every human oozes out of his every orifice the evil darkness of sin, except those who follow Me, and have appointed Me their leader.

So I say to the righteous, do not sway, not in this moment of great decisiveness, when all matters will be settled through My law. There are many evil things which you must avoid, and if you do not, you will not inherit My kingdom. I allow the sin to fester, to spread its necrosis and filth, and I allow those evil sinful humans to indulge in this filth, waddling about it as if they were pigs, bathing in it, and spitting its viscous hatred to others. I allow it so that you may see what true evil is capable of.

But at the moment of the apex of this sin, I quash it. So do not be swayed."

[Anonymous No.14257962]

Bitcoin is in oversold conditions

[Anonymous No.14257981]

>>14257068

[Anonymous No.14257987]

I probably lost a good and old friend today, not because his actions were such as they were, but because I chose to forgive him. It seems to have had an even stronger alienating effect and brought upon nothing but mutual disgust and disappointment. I feel like a droplet of rain sliding down a dirty glass window

[Anonymous No.14258028]

>>14257987
What did he do?

[Anonymous No.14258286]

>>14257081
>we'll become fast friends
>doomer

[Anonymous No.14258316]

>>14256052
You have a great way with words.

[Anonymous No.14258434]

>>14257405
That sort of habit sedimentation is indeed deadly. If you are not careful it can creep up on you very early in life, it's not directly associated with age but the longer you go along with it the more rigidly installed it becomes.

Your problem is that you psychologize the problem too much. The realm of thought is not the full answer, conscious or otherwise (although the unconscious is arguably not thought, but proto-thought, computation.) The answer is behavioristic. You're conditioned to an environment and the fix is to decouple your brain-body relation to that environmental structure. Move somewhere new, rearrange things, alter the environment however slightly. You will learn that your environments have become just as static and sclerotic as your mind. These two coexist in parallel. If you can change your environment you can change your behavior and if you change your behavior you can change your thoughts.

[Anonymous No.14258512]

>>14257324
yeah, it's time I did that. Thanks, anon

[Anonymous No.14258608]

My one (1) romantic experience was having a girl in high school ask me to go to a dance we her, which I turned down because I can’t dance and could already feel my spaghetti falling out. To make matters worse I overheard her a while later saying to her friend “if only anon hadn’t turned me down we could be dating now.” I really, really hate myself for fucking this up. She really was a great person, and I haven’t had a shred of romantic interest expressed in me since. She has a boyfriend of several years now and is seemingly very happy. Meanwhile my cowardice may have ensured that I remain alone forever.

[Anonymous No.14258624]

I want to write poetry but I hate 99% of poetry and the banal tweediness of its content. Almost without exception, every current poet laureate is a hack, and there certainly isn't any great public demand for higher quality poetry. Because of how bad most poetry is, I am sickened by seeing my own thoughts in poetic verse, which makes progress very difficult.

[Anonymous No.14258782]

My desire to write comes from the desire to escape from my boring life
But I can't write anything interesting, because I have a boring life.
How sad.

[Anonymous No.14258839]

The lamb that freed my captive soul
From Satan's heavy chains
And sent the lion down to hell
Where hell and horror reigns

[Anonymous No.14258872]

>>14258782
yeah, man, I'm pretty sure Shakespeare had a great time in his day with Cleopatra, the King of Denmark, and Henry VIII. too bad all those gigachads alive today won't care to write their lives into play, man.

[Anonymous No.14258877]

>>14258872
Shakespeare probably didn't have autism tho

[Anonymous No.14258889]

Adam and Eve had two children: Cain and Abel. Cain was a jerk and Abel was a true believer. Naturally, Cain killed Abel.
This will be your fate, believer: a stone to the face. Better prepare yourself.

The bloody earth did not scream though, that is a lie. It was a quiet, sunny day.

[Anonymous No.14258888]

>>14258877
only a little bit, nothing wrong with that

[Anonymous No.14258893]

>>14257864
the majorty, whatever you call it - plebs, proles, normies, - was ALWAYS mediocre and stupid. for most of our history, only the elite (intellectual elite included) got a voice that was preserved in time. so researchng the past, you mostly hear the smartest and the most successful.
with internet though, not only everyone has a voice, it stays forever and can be heard by anyone (unlike also quite recent tv or radio, noname local shows got filtered out by time, popular ones were run again by the elite).

NPCs has been there from the start, it's only now that you can see them. if you lived in ancient Greece or 19th century Germany, you'd also witness contemporary idiots, not just the greatest minds

[Anonymous No.14258899]

>>14258877
>>14258888
quads beat dubs. Shaekspier was a moderate autist confirmed.

[Anonymous No.14258900]

>>14254169
I enjoy loathing in my idleness. Doing absolute jack shit I'm a masochist otherwise why do I do it? If money was easier to come up on I could keep this up forever.

[Anonymous No.14258904]

>>14258899

[Anonymous No.14258907]

>>14258899
double dubs confirm beyond reasonable doubt

[Anonymous No.14258912]

>>14258904
this pic, the kekkest of them all

[Anonymous No.14259215]

A year after she left me, I continue to treasure the good memories of our time together. The bad does not negate the good. But I think I ought to stop, since it prevents me from moving on to somebody else. It would be easier if I could lie to myself and say, "She was a bitch and I deserve better." But she was a wonderful woman who just made a few mistakes, as all people do.
>If I get dubs I'll stop thinking about her
>If I get trips she still thinks about me.
>If I get quads she still loves me

[Anonymous No.14259219]

>>14259215
This was the outcome I expected.

[Anonymous No.14259220]

Give me books to read--things that can help me make sense of myself. I need knowledge. Clarity.

[Anonymous No.14259358]

>>14259220
Your diary desu

[Anonymous No.14259365]

>>14259219
feels bad man

[Anonymous No.14259792]

I am an entitled child, and a burden to my parents. I live in their house, I eat their food, and I do what they ask in return. I am the greatest snake. To the church community, I am a god-fearing boy, maybe from my dead eyes I am stressed like most college students. Dead like a reptile's. This structure is rigid, and any attempt to free myself from it brings consequences. My soul knows that truth and goodness is my calling. I am in life a lie beset by conflict. I can feel the weathered strand of love that holds my family's relationship together straining. It is a weathered chain link, rusted and groaning. I am a twenty year storm of salt and thunder, of shadow and big things. I now understand how powerful familial bonds can, and should be. I can imagine the pain my father and mother would feel over their lost child, both in spirit and blood. If I failed my child, I would want to kill myself too.

[Anonymous No.14259819]

After constant moping
and the louder knocking,
Finally some napping.

[Anonymous No.14260071]

I'M 23 AND STILL LIVE WITH MY PARENTS

[Anonymous No.14260073]

>>14257260
I still can't shake the feeling of solitude. How can I find a partner that I can confide all these things in without her hating me? Is it just something I will have to carry to the grave? If so, I will never be cured. I just can't see how.

[Anonymous No.14260147]

How do I self promote my work and pen name?
I've published several novellas and they've each gotten about three buys over the past five years. I tried making a facebook page and a twitter but never had content to post, so they died away and were unfruitful. I have a handful more novellas polished and I have two standalone novels that I'd consider done.
But I know they'll all remain undiscovered and unread if I self-publish them. I need an audience but am clueless how to make one.

[Anonymous No.14260217]

>>14260147
Post them here

[Anonymous No.14260264]

>>14260147
Give a go to royalroad. People will notice your work if you publish three pages a week.

[Anonymous No.14260279]

I'm supposed to have a 23k word story finished in a week but instead I'm posting on 4chins.

Help me

[Anonymous No.14260284]

I will probably die bored or unsatiated of something.

[Anonymous No.14260310]

Also, I'm pretty confused about my whole life.
I've accomplished many things my parents would find very hard, I can look back at my past relationships and accept the regrets without caring, but sometimes, shit, I sometimes just want to ditch it all and go to a parallel universe where I can start anew.
New relationships. New goals. New challenges.
I'm not saying it's over nor that I can see the end in everything I do, I'm meaning it like, I'd like to have more time, a second life. With enough time, everyone can make a book enticing for people to notice it, or cultivate any skill to master level, or flirt with the girl you recently met.

I don't fucking know. One of my friends is the same. He's in that long-term relationship with a girl, she's pretty, she's funny and a perfect match. But he dreams about other girls, some girls are hitting on him and he can't respond because he knows he's already got the best girl possible.

The prospects are infinite, but the feelings aren't, what the heck am I doing right now.

[Anonymous No.14260323]

>>14260279
There's nothing wrong with you.
Just breathe. If you don't publish those 23k words story, you'll die as an author.
Do you want to die? Keep it up, I'm with you, anon.

[Anonymous No.14260372]

I'm practicing with dialogue, please bear with me

"Fernando."
"Miguel."
"Where you asleep?"
"Aye, but no point in that anymore. I can tell you came for a reason"
"That I did-- say, Fernando, do you know where the lord admiral is?"
"He's in his quarters, taking his pleasures with one of the pagan whores"
"Good, good-- who's guarding him Fernando?"
"What?"
"My apologies Fernando, I'll say it clearly this time: Who's guarding our good lord admiral?"
"Why do you wish to know, Miguel?"
"Fernando, do you remember what we were before we got on this thrice-damned ship?"
"Orphans."
"And what is an orphan fernando? What is a child with no mother to nurse them, no father to guard them, no brother to guide them, and no sister to protect; what are they fernando?
"Nothing."
"Yes Fernando, that's right! We were nothing! We had no land, no family, no wealth, nothing we said or did had any meaning; we could have died and nobody would blink an eye--"
"That's why we left spain."
"Good, good Fernando-- you remember. Tell me Fernando, what have we done on this ship? What have we become? What have we gained?"
"Miguel-- you musn't be ambitious--"
"Ambitious? Fernando, do you remember how I found you? You hadn't eaten more than a few scraps of bread for months on end! Was I not the one who convinced you to sail with me? Was I not the one who promised that you would never go hungry again?"
"Miguel--"
"And look at where I've lead you! Here you are sitting like a cuckold while the worm fattens himself on the fruits of your labors! You should be the one forcing yourself on painted whores, not him!"
"Miguel--"
"Let me make it right fernando, let me keep my promise. Who's guarding him?"
"Juan and claudio"
"Those two? Truly? O that fat, oafish worm! They're reputed drunks and known fools, best of all they trust trust you Fernando. All you have to do is get them drunk, and with this knife i'll set this all right tonight."
"Miguel--"
"Trust me Fernando."

[Anonymous No.14260392]

>>14254169
I hate atheists.

[Anonymous No.14260470]

>>14258900
I'm so unbelievably hideous, hide me.

[Anonymous No.14260508]

>>14260264
I tried that too but then I got a new job and my schedule was totally fucked. It's been about two months though and I guess it's time to start editing and uploading again. Thanks for the reminder, anon.

[Anonymous No.14260510]

>>14260392
Why?

[Anonymous No.14260515]

>>14258608
Jesus. I remember a dance in 10th grade the same thing happened, I said no because I wasn't really friends with her and said no. She kind of looked like "wtf" and sad at the same time. But before she took a few steps I cought up with her and turned her around and said "I'm so stupid, of course I want to dance with you" and then gave her a shy side smile. That's what you are supposed to do. They love the roller coaster of emotions anyway. It's better.to.say no at first and then ask them to dance in return.

[Anonymous No.14260523]

I want to become Christian but I cannot bring myself to believe. For awhile I thought if I could see a vision or apparition that would convince me. Then someone brought up that what if the vision told me do something that I didn't morally agree with, at that point I would defy God. I wish I could be religious anons but I'm not sure what it will take from me. I need to read the Bible

[Anonymous No.14260524]

>>14258888
Only a little bit is the sweet spot of the spectrum. Just autismed enough to blow the doors off normies in whatever your autism maxed you out for, but not so far in that you loose a lot of function.

[Anonymous No.14260568]

>>14254169
my only aim in life is to write a middling webcomic and i can't even sit down and write it. how ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.14260655]

Fuck I wanna write an essay on how of all the world's ehnic groups, the one that resembles the Indo-Europeans the most is the Arabs, and by Arabs i mean the Arabs of the Arabian peninsula, not the people of north Africa, Iraq and the Levant, from whom they're genetically distinct. Fuck.

[Anonymous No.14260695]

My German Shepherd is such a noble marvelous beast. Poised, athletic, alert. When she hops onto me I can sense her latent killing power, how easily should could tear my throat instead of boop me with her snout. Truly a strong and dignified breed of dog.

[Anonymous No.14260750]

>>14260695
cute doggos good

[Anonymous No.14260767]

>>14260750
I swear to god don't fucking summon the wojaks you fuck

[Anonymous No.14260773]

All my friends have started hanging out at bars which doesn’t work for me because one, I don’t drink due to a family history of severe alcoholism and two, because I live a ways away and need to drive there and back (there’s no taxi / ride sharing shit around here either). So my choice is either being more alone than usual or sitting sober in a bar. Fuck me.

[Anonymous No.14260793]

>>14260773
What else do you like to do? Or what else do you wish you liked to do?

[Anonymous No.14260795]

>>14260767
w-what? I'm just saying doggos are cute whats wrong with that
my doggos are cute your doggos are cute, doggos are cute

[Anonymous No.14260807]

>>14260795
I FUCKING SWEAR YOU BETTER DELETE THESE POST RIGHT FUCKING NOW BEFORE THEY FLOOD IN

[Anonymous No.14260855]

>>14260793
Did you reply to the right person?
Anyway I’d rather watch a shitty horror movie or play board games, I never particularly enjoyed sitting around and getting plastered even when I was in college and still drinking.

[Anonymous No.14260909]

>>14254169
What would /lit/ think if I posted about Henry James because I've never seen him posted here. Then again I don't come here often.

[Anonymous No.14260920]

>>14260909
Henry james isn't a big name on here like joyce or nabokov but most people like him

[Anonymous No.14260944]

>>14260920
Duly noted. I'm reading The Bostonians right now, what would /lit/ say is James essential?

[Anonymous No.14260982]

I smoked a cigarette and browsed the news. A story about niggers, written by a nigger, talked about how niggers need more et. cetera. The needs of a nigger are endless. a nigger on every television channel. a nigger in every movie. nothing but nigger music for niggers and those who with to be niggers. that is almost worse than being a nigger. at least a nigger does not want to be a nigger. a nigger does not want to be a nigger so badly he will kill everyone who is not a nigger just so that he might not be reminded that he is a nigger. I was glad to be alone again in my room, where no nigger had ever been. there are few places like this left in the world. when the nigger was the freed the world became the nigger's slave. At night the niggers come out, brave in the absence of light, as if the Night were an accomplice to the niggers, lending shadow to the misdeeds of the darkies. Beneath the luminescence of gaudy streetlights the gangs of niggers, in feral nigger packs, would stumble and howl, liquored-up on cheap nigger drinks and enthused by the scantily clad negresses. In the day these niggers were more docile. The tumult of the niggers grew tedious and I decided to leave, to walk perhaps to a place where no niggers ever went. To do this I needed to walk down the niggerstained streets and wait in subway overrun by niggers. Every nigger looked at me as if waiting for me to call them what they, as niggers, knew what I, as not a nigger, knew them to be. Most of the passengers were niggers or niglets. Each nigger stared at the other niggers with the suspicion that infects every nigger due to the violence inherent in each nigger and no one knows what a nigger is capable of more than a nigger. that is why niggers always leer as they do, for niggers assume that everyone has a propensity for violence equal to a nigger's. In the fresh blossoming night air I had risen from the stench of the niggersiled subway I felt a peace that can only be known when all niggers are absent. Perhaps this is why niggers are so disgruntle, they never have the chance to leave niggers behind. Perhaps these types of free and fresh nights are not available to niggers who must Leer with nigger hate in their niggerheads and niggerhearts all the days of their niggardly lives. But now the streets were clean, vacant kd all niggers and the cacophony of niggers. I had come out of that nigger-Gehenna where the golems of the Niggerloving kike waste and writhe. I was lost in the coolness of a midnight devoid of darkies. It was almost ruined knowing I would have to return to the niggers. Knowing that everywhere else, niggers were muddying everything with their niggerhends and their niggernotions. But for now there was the peace of no niggers.

[Anonymous No.14261013]

>>14254169
I realize my frustration as of late can and will most certainly be attributed to a woman who will just not let me go.

[Anonymous No.14261033]

>>14261013
Is it your mommy?

[Anonymous No.14261143]

>>14260510
Because they can't even bring themselves to believe in justice after death. And they're materialists. Nuff said.

[Anonymous No.14261148]

>>14260855
What about looking for a local game store that plays board games anon? or look for a group of people who are into making movies nearby

[Anonymous No.14261315]

>>14254169
I can't relax. Whenever I'm not working on something I get a constant feeling of dread that increases in intensity until I feel like I'm going to throw up and sometimes I actually do vomit.
I feel like I've become so attached to work that I cannot survive without it. Any literature to help me exit the cave?

[Anonymous No.14261497]

One of the sad things about working in the city is that when people move in the city, they just disappear. They might as well have died. On Tuesday one of my coworkers told me that the news research department that shared our floor for the past six months was moving out at the end of the week to a new building. He told me this tentatively, I think, aware that I had a crush on one of the researchers. It hit me immediately that after this week, I would never see her again. We weren't even acquaintances. I'd spoken to her once. But I was still devastated. Worse, it was Thanksgiving week. She would probably be out of the office for at least a few of the remaining days in the week for the holiday. I came into work today hoping she'd be in. If she were in, I'd do something. I'd strike up a conversation in the elevator, anything. But she wasn't. I'll just never see her again. Just one of the cruelties of the city.

[Anonymous No.14261501]

for some reason I get jealous of close friends at times. it is not a good feeling to bear

[Anonymous No.14261541]

/lit/ has become such trash in the past few weeks

[Anonymous No.14261674]

The modern underclass man is so pitiful as he doesn't have access to banal, basic and petty goods that their every ancestor disposed of: nature's gifts people were born with, choices, liberties, now taken from many by monopoly of few.

[Anonymous No.14261688]

>>14261541
rigth there with ya

[Anonymous No.14261752]

>>14254224
>>14254234

[Anonymous No.14261765]

I want to read a book on early Republican China and federalism but the fucking shit costs 60 bucks plus 30 to ship it

[Anonymous No.14261855]

>>14261765
what book

[Anonymous No.14261943]

I love my family and spending time with them is important to me, but being around them, even if only occasionally, frustrates me to no end. There’s a level to which we just don’t share similar world views. They don’t understand me and I don’t understand them. However, if I’m being honest, what frustrates me the most about them is the impulses that they are able to bring out of me. I hate who I allow myself to be when I am around them because it’s not what I want nor is it what matches my inner character. Every time I tell myself to just be quiet, observe, and just appreciate. Don’t get sucked in. Don’t act like a clown. Don’t argue. But they know what buttons to push to get me invested and losing stability. They know how to get me acting like a fool or arguing and they revel in that ability. I’m disgusted at myself really for allowing myself to fall for it and for ever thinking it could be otherwise.

[Anonymous No.14262018]

>>14254258
a kots blue eyes

[Anonymous No.14262386]

did kuznetsov know the commies were setting him up?

[Anonymous No.14262547]

All these life coachers simplify the problem or rather outright ignore the reason just to focus on "solving" it

[Anonymous No.14262574]

Witnessing my best friend transition a couple years ago is one of the most depressing things I've seen in my life. It was like my buddy was being killed and taken over by someone else. The person he became wanted to so utterly disown and destroy the person he used to be, as if he hated that friend who I loved so dearly. It killed me inside to watch my buddy slowly disappear and get swallowed up by someone else while I was completely helpless to do anything. I miss you man, I miss you like you wouldn't fuckin believe.

[Anonymous No.14262770]

I'm American, wish I wasn't, hoping it dissolves soon along with all first world countries. Alan Moore and J.R.R. Tolkien were right about globalism and everything, the once big and mysterious world is now small and flat. Only collapse, via environment, war, AI uprising, or a first contact can fix the world as it is.

[Anonymous No.14262781]

>>14262574
Well, is he at least cute now?

[Anonymous No.14262924]

Is death even certain? What's to say that someone couldn't live forever with anti-aging technology.
Is there anything you can be truly certain about

[Anonymous No.14262993]

its official im a fucking scumbag and i cheated on my gf again
i geniunely love her with all my heart but i have these fucking impulses to do this kinky shit that i just could never do with her BECAUSE I LOVE HER TOO MUCH
fuck my life
i can never ever do this again
ever
fuck

[Anonymous No.14263010]

>>14262993
If you really think you love her that much and are still cheating on her, then love must not mean very much to you.

[Anonymous No.14263017]

>>14263010
when im with her in person i know i do

[Anonymous No.14263034]

test

[Anonymous No.14263044]

twitter.com/st_sufjan

[Anonymous No.14263064]

>>14262924
Why would you want to live forever?

[Anonymous No.14263066]

>>14263044
Faggot

[Anonymous No.14263086]

slept from six pm to six am. haven't left house in a week. still high from the pills last night. reading Joyce and laughing.

[Anonymous No.14263089]

>>14263066
no u

[Anonymous No.14263152]

>>14263044
Please get a trip so I can filter you. It was funny the first few times but now you're just an attention whore. Bitch all you want, but don't link your twitter.

[Anonymous No.14263211]

I must have messed up really bad in past life to deserve this current shit life.Thanks a lot to whoever responsible for this reincarnation shit show.

[Anonymous No.14263218]

>>14263152
can't you just filter my username? also I just want to be able to look back at them in the future that's why i post them on twitter and i figure it's easier just to copy my twitter link than the contents but whatever maybe i won't post it anymore. btw how the fuck is it funny?

[Anonymous No.14263243]

My brother's visit home for Thanksgiving has been bizarre. He is a professor who teaches at a school overseas. At some point over the past year or two he has started reading continental philosophy and has become insufferable. He used to be libertarian, but wasn't really outspoken about it. Now he's a run of the mill liberal and inserts his little editorial needles in any conversation that's happening. Even the way he pronounces "Derrida" makes me want to sock him in the fucking jaw. His philosophical transformation has coincided with professional failures. He's been applying for a new teaching job for at least four years now but hasn't gotten an offer anywhere. He's a white male, which makes it tougher. Certain postings, if you ask people in the know, are really only open to women or minorities. I hope he'll return back to normal if he does get hired somewhere. But I think he'll only get worse.

[Anonymous No.14263418]

Words

[Anonymous No.14263447]

>>14263243
I can’t really imagine getting so triggered from your brother exploring new ideas and pronouncing someone’s name, probably correctly. You don’t seem to have any sympathies for these alleged professional failures either. It sounds a bit like you’re being the insufferable one here, anon. Sorry to say.

[Anonymous No.14263475]

>>14263447
I don't mind him exploring new ideas. What I object to was that he used to be a normal person who could interact with people without constantly injecting snide political comments. I mean, I'm not libertarian, but had no issue with him when he was. The difference is his behavior. When he was libertarian and we'd go to check the mail, he wouldn't blurt out, "The postal service should be abolished." But now nothing passes without some kind of comment that's meant to incite. I have sympathy for him for his failures in that they seem to have made him lose his fucking mind.

[Anonymous No.14263659]

>>14254224
400 iq

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.14263886]

>>14257405
You are mistaking the cause of your anxiety for its catalyst, or for one of its catalysts; the feeling of anxiety that you experience is a symptom of your personal insecurity; personalize yourself so that you may become a secure/integral person.

>>14261943
I think that you conflate your love with, and are a prey of, attachment, and hence of deception.

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.14263925]

>>14263886
I meant to firstly quote:
>>14257612

[Anonymous No.14263935]

>>14263886
>personalize yourself so that you may become a secure/integral person
well how the hell do you do that?

[Anonymous No.14263957]

Hello /lit/ I am a dying man

Last Thursday I went cold. Only my heart was beating. and my conscious was playing inside my body like child in an abandoned house. It was a near death experience.
When I was holding the hand of my mother I told her everything, the conversation I had with her that i never imagined i would and it was beautiful. My only regret was, having that conversation this late.
On one side of my brain there were cioran, mainlander, caraco, ligotti etc and the other side of my brain was reciting final verses of my "faith", very ironic I know.
The only things that I am sure of are that I am a hypocrite. and how easy and comforting it is to just accept your death when the time come.
I am not sure about the next moment of my life. Although they discharged me from hospital but finally it's over, it could happen at any moment.
I really don't know what to write next or what I am missing or what could be suitable for this moment. It's just overly dramatic and full of feels.
But thanks anons for all the good times and listening to me in hard times.

[Anonymous No.14263959]

>>14263886
>just be mentally normal person
unless he figure it out what kind values hes masking behind anxiety - nothing will change.

[Anonymous No.14264065]

> pony is suffering from something undiagnosed, 8 hours of effort later still no improvement
bros, I so hope she makes it. that is what's on my mind.

[Anonymous No.14264079]

>>14262574
mfw same, he transitioned to normie in pursuit of some very minor internet popularity and god knows what else.
rip the man I've had literal best conversations in my life with

[Anonymous No.14264084]

>>14264065
god bless anon, i hope she is OK

[Nemo !!GgBWHLRiayD No.14264112]

>>14263935
Excel within, and dedicate your life toward, what you love - rather than toward what you merely enjoy - and are capable of, doing, so that your person may become revealed, and affirmed, through your work; although this imploration may sound simpler than your problem may actually seem to you, it is precisely simplicity of lifestyle that conduces toward personal/spiritual plenitude and excellence.

>>14263959
>just be mentally normal person
No, rather:
>just be a mentally clear person
Only then can one's superfluities become revealed to one, and dropped off into Past.

[Anonymous No.14264142]

>>14264084
thanks, man. we're waiting for transport to arrive to take her to vet clinic. what sucks the most about having a stable in ski club's property is the fucking people,there are signs on every surface prohibiting to feed the horses, last time one nearly died because someone dumped a sack of apples in the field, for him it's a sure way to colics which can be fatal in horses

[Anonymous No.14264161]

>>14264112
>Excel within, and dedicate your life toward, what you love - rather than toward what you merely enjoy
I don't "enjoy." I'm an unhappy person.

[Anonymous No.14264273]

Anyone else feel like they're more of a citizen of the internet, of here, than of their own country?

[Anonymous No.14264315]

>>14254169
i had just bought many new games using my hard earned neetbux
how i yearned for DOOM to install quicker if only i had more disk space i thought while staring at my favorite mongolian basket weaving forum well time to coom to some more cuckold porn i thought and check to see if its done in an hoour

[Anonymous No.14264367]

>>14264273
internet is the closest we can get to contract jurisdictions. there are conditions to enter most places, but exit is free at any time, and it's the users who decide the essense of their site (except mass shitholes ofc, they're the big city of the internet)

[Anonymous No.14264527]

>>14264065
Are you the one that braided your horses mane and made it all wavy? Anyway Godspeed pony.

[Anonymous No.14264868]

>>14254349
>One of my best friends is blue eyed
You make it sound like an unusual thing. Which is weird for me because where I’m from it’s not having blue eyes that stands out

[Anonymous No.14264891]

>>14264527
> he remembers
it's me. loaded her into the truck, she started eating some hay (refused food or water before that) and raised voice when the door closed, not lethargic anymore, hopefully she'll return soon

[Anonymous No.14264901]

I feel like everybody goes through a phase in their life where they think socialism might actually work, then they realise that human nature (selfishness, freeloading, abuse of power etc.) prevents their communist utopia from every happening, and they finally accept a predominantly capitalist system (with a little bit of welfare) as a pretty good compromise.

I've learned to ignore critics of capitalism as either teenagers going through this phase or just midwits stuck in a fantasy.

[Anonymous No.14264908]

>>14263243
>Even the way he pronounces "Derrida" makes me want to sock him in the fucking jaw
I'm not joking - if you're around the same size as him, just do it. He needs a shock to the system. Take him to the side, wack him in the fuck face, then ask him to say "Derrida" out loud. Keep smashing him until he says it right. He'll get up and thank you for saving his life.

[Anonymous No.14264938]

>>14254169
>>14254169
All Serbs have one thing in common. They don't give their freedom easily.

[Anonymous No.14264976]

>>14263017
Nonsense. Your "love" lasts about as long as a movie of the week.

[Anonymous No.14264982]

I'm vegan and I'm about to go get some fried rice with the full knowledge it contains egg. The only takeaway I've had in months has been chippie. Grim.
>>14264901
you sound like a bit of a midwit yourself

[Anonymous No.14265009]

>>14264982
Seething communist.

Also I'm vegetarian but sometimes I eat meat because I'm also pragmatic and it's better that we all just collectively eat less meat than a small minority go vegan while everyone else eats tons of meat every day.

[Anonymous No.14265088]

>>14265009
you're not a vegetarian if you consciously eat meat "sometimes", it's just reduced meat consumption.
> I'm a virgin, I just fuck a bit sometimes because it's unpragmatic to have a society made 5% of monks and 95% of whores

[Anonymous No.14265151]

Why did I stop reading? It made me happy.

[Anonymous No.14265162]

>>14265088
I think as a label it's fine. I'm "vegetarian" when I go to the restaurant, when I'm picking food in the work cafeteria, and when I'm shopping. If once a month there's no good vegetarian option and I get a prawn salad...

[Anonymous No.14265306]

One could say: A group of people living together (a society) has exceeded its ideal size if the death of one member is not reflected in the behaviour of the other members (e.g. if no gestures of mourning such as black clothing etc. are shown). The ideal group resembles the family, as everyone is in a relationship with everyone, knows him by name, etc. I have in mind clans from the bronze age. In such groups everyone has his place and significance: everyone has a meaning - and all these meaningful people are in dialogue with the each other.

[Anonymous No.14265517]

>>14258839
This is kino as fuck. is there any more?

[Anonymous No.14265661]

I live in perpetual dread every day now. Some days are good, but most days aren't. I am slowly being drained of will, energy and life. Do I blame her for latching onto me, loving me one moment and despising me the next? Or do I blame myself for allowing her to control and manipulate me? Sometimes I fantasize suicide, or long to drive long and far away from her. Yet I remain, shackled to the walls of my own choices, becoming a prisoner to my own decisions. I stay out of fear. I hope for relief, yet it always is out of reach. I pray for relief more with each passing day.

[Anonymous No.14265731]

>>14263218
We need you to get a trip so we can filter you. The trip is your username.
You are insufferable.

[Anonymous No.14265738]

i'm a coomer and i have no regrets.

[Anonymous No.14265745]

>>14265306
>We live in a society

[Anonymous No.14265763]

>>14264901
This is true, but I'd phrase it the other way around. Rather than accept a predominantly capitalist system with welfare, I would accept a socialist system with a little bit of state capitalism.

[Anonymous No.14265779]

>>14264901
It's not so much that people are selfish, freeloading etc. as the fact that people are limited in their knowledge and that a free market will always operate more efficiently than a centrally planned economy.

[Anonymous No.14265788]

The fact that alcohol gives you pimples is like 90% of the reason I'm not an alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.14265811]

I literally just found out Harold Bloom died over a month ago.
What the fuck.

[Anonymous No.14265817]

>>14265779
>a free market will always operate more efficiently than a centrally planned economy
Yeah, that's why all free market economies are imploding right now.

[Anonymous No.14265821]

>>14265811
I literally just found out too. Though I only know about him from the memes.

[Anonymous No.14265829]

>>14265817
Unlike planned economies? nah commies say that everytime there's an economic downturn ''it's happening for real this time, the revolution is upon us!'', and they're consistently wrong.

[Anonymous No.14265832]

>>14265821
Yous should check out The Western Canon.
The dude was the last major gatekeeper.

[Anonymous No.14265849]

>>14265829
Cope. I never said anything about communism or revolution. You are ignorant. Planned economies are not a synonym of communism.

[Anonymous No.14265856]

I don't like the new site design

[Anonymous No.14265868]

>>14265849
>Planned economies are not a synonym of communism.
In practice they are.

[Anonymous No.14265876]

>>14265151
I dropped reading once books stoped moving me emotionally. I dont care about bookmark dick measuring contest who reads the most.

[Anonymous No.14265891]

>>14254258
A woman's long beautiful thick hair.

[Anonymous No.14265898]

>>14265868
In practice, communism has never even existed.
You are retarded, don't reply to my posts.

[Anonymous No.14265909]

>>14265745
We do, fren, we do

[Anonymous No.14265932]

>>14265898
Yeah, it's consistently failed to reach its goal. That's hardly a point in its favour.

[Anonymous No.14265977]

>>14265932
Why do you keep trying to shift the focus of the discussion? I am not defending communism. In your little mind everything that is against free market is labeled as communism. You are a victim of ignorance.

[Anonymous No.14266049]

>>14265856
what new design?

[Anonymous No.14266071]

>>14254258
a woman's big fat cock

[Anonymous No.14266215]

>>14266071
you forgot chocolate colored

[Anonymous No.14266577]

>>14265977
What's the alternative to a free market if not a planned economy?

[Anonymous No.14266592]

have you made somebody smile today?

[Anonymous No.14266628]

>>14254258
Apple blossoms.

[Anonymous No.14266775]

I hate the holiday season because I inevitably run into old acquaintances and have to confront the fact that they all have SO’s and careers and have made numerous friends since the end of high school. All of them are like this, even the loner introvert you talked about Kierkegaard with and thought was a kindred spirit. Meanwhile I’m a kissless handholdless virgin who can’t even order coffee without getting nervous. I hate it. I’m not even normally unhappy, I’m content with my anime and hobbies and job, but that contentedness is entirely founded on fragile ignorance of the normiesphere.

[Anonymous No.14266905]

>>14254258
Normally I'd agree, but I met a woman who had red hair and dark brown, almost black eyes. As fascinating as they were beautiful

[Anonymous No.14267098]

>>14261855
Chen Jiongming and the Federalist Movement

[Anonymous No.14267108]

>>14267098
Maybe if you're a good boy somebody will buy it for you for Christmas.

[Anonymous No.14267579]

>>14254169

I'M A PUSSY

I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN

I'M NEVER EVEN GONNA KISS A GIRL

I'M GONNA DIE HAVING NEVER LOVED A WOMAN

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
FUKC
UGKK
JFIKC
FUKC

[Anonymous No.14267585]

>>14266592
I don't I ever make people smile

[Anonymous No.14267617]

>>14267579
If you're a pussy then just have sex with yourself.

[Anonymous No.14267992]

>>14265306
you can have smaller groups inside a large one. for me, the ideal is a small comfy town, with me living in a village that's no further than 20-30min walking distance

[Anonymous No.14268016]

>>14265817
it's not "free" market economy, every somewhat capitalist country has insanely regulated trade.
drug market is free though, and look at it thriving, casually using violence as black markets' illegality excuses not following all other laws. prohibition truly taght people dogshit nothing

[Anonymous No.14268032]

My lack of discipline (and a non-existent drive for money) is killing all my talents. I feel my mind becoming number as sink deeper and deeper into this pool of inactivity. Is this just the deep breath before the plunge or will it end up drowning me?

[Anonymous No.14268067]

>>14254258
I can't think of any more beautiful gift one can give a woman than black eyes.

[Anonymous No.14268083]

>>14254224

[Anonymous No.14268089]

>>14263064
Because I enjoy being alive.

[Anonymous No.14268104]

>>14268089
You'll speak differently after a thousand years of your loves and friends dying, novelty running dry, and life losing taste.
just 20 years of youth and prime is way too little, but no one truly wants to live FOREVER.

[Anonymous No.14268120]

>>14268104
>You'll speak differently after a thousand years of your loves and friends dying, novelty running dry, and life losing taste.
Perhaps, but how can anyone be certain of that? No one has lived a thousandths yet.

[Anonymous No.14268605]

winter shoes. imagine these spikes fracturing a skull

[Anonymous No.14268684]

I love country-anon. Please never stop posting >>14268605

[Anonymous No.14268694]

>>14268684
thanks for your words, brother. I started posting to dilute the unrequited love and coomer posts, and I will keep shilling farmwork til the last NEET leaves his room and the last wagie quits his pitiful job

[Anonymous No.14268708]

the comfiest place in suburbs light trains is the joint between the carriages. you can see the railway in its gaps. do trains in your country have this?

[Anonymous No.14268726]

If God exists why pray to him? He won't do anything for you in your life. Just live a virtuous life for yourself not for him.

[Anonymous No.14268734]

>>14268694
snoot boop :3

[Anonymous No.14268741]

>>14268726
>He won't do anything for you in your life
How would you know?

[Anonymous No.14268874]

>>14268734
hard to take a snoot pic, he eats the phone

[Anonymous No.14268941]

>>14254169
i want to ask for book recommendations, but i don't read and i want to write. in a situation like that, a thread could only be a disaster. what a silly situation. i should really just go out and look for books on my own.

[Anonymous No.14269925]

bump

[Anonymous No.14270220]

We shared some memorable times, you and I. I must put emphasis on the word, memorable. I think when many people think of that word, they think of good times. I don’t. I think of deep ones. Some tragic. There was always beauty in their tragicness though. At least, that’s how it feels to me. Sometimes I wonder if I was just another patient to you. Sometimes I wonder if you ever did truly love me. I loved you. Maybe I still do. You know, I can’t seem to dismiss the thought of you. It’s like you’re an anchor, an anchor that tethers a ship to stillness deep below the surface, but nonetheless, remains invisible beneath those cold, dark, and thrashing waves. You were my anchor. You connected me to the stillness that I needed in times of storm, but all I saw was thrashing abyss. When I lost everything, you were there. But an anchor feels no love for its captain. Did you for I? I suppose I owe you a thank you. I needed to find you so that I could find myself.

I’ve heard that warriors and poets shouldn’t take wives nor have children. I suppose that’s true. It wasn’t in the cards for us, at least, children most assuredly so. Things could’ve never lasted between us, you and I. My path takes me elsewhere and you could never understand my world. I wouldn’t want to do that to you.

I see you’re with someone new now and you look happy celebrating the Holidays with him. It stings. I need it to sting. Once again, you illuminate my path for me. Sometimes I think about writing to you. I only wish I would hear from you again, if only to hear your voice and to know you’re still out there and at some point, some moment, some deep dark corridor of this intertwined mess that is time, space, and fate we are somehow bonded, you and I. We are destined to diverge on two different paths, distinct, different, and separated, but nonetheless linked by that one fleeting moment of fate.

You should know that I’m sober now. I know you always wanted that. I’d want you to know that I did it. I found him again. It was hard, but he’s here. Things are different now. And I hope you know I loved you. I love you. And I miss you. I hope you find what you need.

[Anonymous No.14270328]

As I shambled my way home: bones broken, skin bruised, blood oozing from swollen flesh: I came upon two dogs. They laid upon a hill of sand, what must have been a construction site for it was surronded by gates and houses all around, and seemed more at home in it than I had been anywhere. I reasoned that they must be domesticated, for their furs where immaculate and their bodies told no great history of battle. Soon my mind was filled with fantasies of what these dogs had been doing at so late an hour, imagining some great love affair: how they must have been relaxing after a passionate session in the sands; how the female must already be carrying her mates pups; how their owners must be showering them in affections; how the world must be showering them in affections; how they had suffered no injuries in their blessed life; how they did not deserve such a life; how I who has never been loved; I who was rejected by his fellow man; I who was the favorite victim of a legion of demons; I who was cursed where ever I roamed; I was the one who deserved such a life, certainly not this pair of mindless beasts. So, filled with rage, I resolved to use the last vestiges of my strength to kill the beasts: praying to what ever diety that watched over me to at the very least allow me the female so the male would be denied both his love and his children. I clambered over the fence, and crawled to them to perserve what little energy I had left. The fiends examined me with a calm gaze, and, as if pitying me, as if having decided that something as low as I could do no harm, didn't move a muscle. But as soon as I reached them, as soon as I had wrapped my hands around one of their necks, as if some greater power had whispered my ambition into their ears, they lounged out with fury and began a brutal assault. They bit me and stamped on me and tore apart my clothes, leaving me naked and and too tired to move.

[Anonymous No.14270599]

>>14260071
25, same. I think it's stunting my maturity but I literally cannot afford anything.

[Anonymous No.14270696]

It's easier to be on your own in summertime. People are always outside if you take a walk or ride your bike. You're always warm, there are festivals and fairs.
In the wintertime, nobody is out. Everybody is huddled up in buildings with others. Except if you have nobody it's just you trapped inside on your own.

[Anonymous No.14270735]

I have currently identified around seven different inner voices in my head, and now I'm trying to morph them into one to see if that is an improvement. Problem is, they are all in different accents and languages, so far it sounds retarded.

[Anonymous No.14270762]

>>14270696
Is that Tolkien's drawing?

[Anonymous No.14270877]

>>14265009
No need to worry capitalism will get you eating bugs in no time

[Anonymous No.14270889]

>>14270762
yes

[Anonymous No.14271046]

[Anonymous No.14271068]

>>14270599
26. I have the basics, food, clothing, shelter covered, but nothing more. I’m suffocated by student loans somewhat as well. The debt is somewhat bothersome, but otherwise I don’t have much desire to for more and actually feel it somewhat necessary to deny myself consumption beyond my basic needs.

[Anonymous No.14271153]

I can't believe it's December already.
wtf, anon. literally time

[Anonymous No.14271175]

>>14271153
> the tens are over in less than a month
anon, I... it's so fucking surreal. every year since 2015 felt like THE future, more distant every time

[Anonymous No.14271178]

>>14271153
Me neither, can't believe it's December, can't believe it's 2019
I haven't got a very good grasp on life, it seems. No wonder the idea of life being a dream appeals to me, I'm sleepwalking through it
My only question, really, would be "what is this?" What is it?

[Anonymous No.14271185]

>>14271178
great pic. feels like everyone with soul is left behind as this clown chariot speeds into the future

[Anonymous No.14271220]

>>14271153
I'm getting to that terrifying point where the years flicker by in an instant. In the short term it is beneficial, because at times the work day flickers by in a nanosecond. Of course whenever I am suffering and it is difficult, time slows by to a crawl. Because God hates us all.

[Anonymous No.14271222]

Here's another

[Anonymous No.14271282]

>>14271222
there's a familiar feeling about them. dullness and mist calm my mind (pic is yesterday morning)

[Anonymous No.14271288]

Been stuck at home for months bc of chronic illness. I hate everything about it but don’t know if any alternative way of living would be better

[Anonymous No.14271325]

You have to be careful what you possess, otherwise you will be blackmailed - not by robbers, but by the things themselves; think of your parents and their furniture.

[Anonymous No.14271334]

>>14271282
Man I could write a frenzy if I lived where you did. The city is suffocating.

[Anonymous No.14271366]

>>14271282
Are you the man with the horses? It looks similar outside where I live.

[Anonymous No.14271465]

>>14271334
I dunno about that, I find cities just as inspiring as nature, only in different ways.

[Anonymous No.14271474]

>>14271334
i live in moscow, but often come to work in the suburb. it simply erases all the sorrows and angers planted in you by this soulless megacity, which i despise, yet it was the best place to be born in this forsaken country. not as poor, at least.
>>14271366
it's me. the autumn here was like a fairytale, its golden state only lasted for some weeks, but beauty is sharpened by its briefness

[Anonymous No.14271491]

>>14271486
new thread, I hope we make the painting op pic tradition last

>>14271486

[Anonymous No.14271835]

>>14271185
That's not a pic, it's a painting.

[Anonymous No.14272038]

>>14271835
Pixels, actually.

[Anonymous No.14272143]

>>14254169
I really want to die at the moment