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/lit/ - Literature

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1423854 No.1423854 [Reply] [Original]

I know there are quite a few aspiring writers on here, so let's have an inspiration thread. Post a few sentences, nothing more than a paragraph, that is just something random off the top of your head, let's see if we can't help each other out.

I'll start.

>The man sat in the chair, looking across the coffee table at his would-be killer, who was slowly sipping at his cup of coffee.
>"Why aren't I dead yet?"
>The hitman took another sip and sat the coffee cup down, then looked up.
>"Because I haven't killed you yet."

>> No.1423861

lol /lit/ is fantastically funny today.

>> No.1423866

>The unyielding blows from the fists of the mummified karate master incited a relentless holocaust of pain on my groin.

>> No.1423870

>"Why haven't you killed me yet?"
>The hitman finished his coffee and stood up. His left hand fiddled with the button on his pants and he undid his fly. His hand reached in through his fly and pulled out his throbbing member.
>"I haven't killed you yet because I'm going to rape you first."

>> No.1423871

>>1423861
OP here, do you mean that as in "OP is an idiot and talentless" or do you mean that in a "Hm, that is slightly humorous" kind of way?

Because my intention was to be slightly humorous, so.....

>> No.1423874

>>1423871
no, im just spazzed out on my new psych meds and for some reason everything i read is hilarious and i keep saying it and in one thread, a lot of people agreed and OP freaked out and left...

>> No.1423880
File: 52 KB, 1024x682, americancontemplit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1423880

I maybe shouldn't be drinking as fast as I am. I am standing next to the football table and although no-one's using it, and no-one will considering how the music's pumping and how packed it is - I still feel like I'm in someone's way. The guys aren't doing much, and it feels so... rupturing, to be around this football table. I see B. make his way through everyone, we see each other, I nod, raise my pint glass. Raise it to my mouth, swigging. I look down at C. who is still rambling to me; when she's drunk she talks about sex, she talks about her family. I find it kind of irritating yet undeniably incisive that with her it is these two things. I laugh, yeah yeah yeah. Don't think I'm going to get laid tonight. C. said she'd screw me. Everyone's dancing, a few people making out. I get a few more pints, some shots. Eventually I'm pretty drunk and I kind of argue or bullshit, depending on how much the other guy was into it, with someone I saw at a gig like one maybe two or three hours ago – over our respective degrees. It is something to do. Eventually the bar is winding down and I am sheperded out with everyone. I lean on a rubbish bin and there can be no extension in any of this, I put an arm around C. who is not going to screw me, in all fairness, and carry her back to her flat.

>> No.1423884

D&E make one of these posts >>>/int/2776507 using your intellectual girl thing. do et!

>> No.1423889

>>1423854
>"Why aren't I dead yet?"
>Why are not I dead yet?

wat?

>> No.1423892

Something, somewhere, rotted.

>> No.1423894

>>1423889

Why are not you a good troll?

>> No.1423895

>>1423884
I'm not sure they would give a fuck about Molly or The Dismemberment of Orpheus

>> No.1423898

>>1423895
*molloy

>> No.1423900

>>1423889
What would the proper grammar be then?

>> No.1423901

>>1423892

Doesn't flow very good. Consider rewording.

>> No.1423905

>>1423901

>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.
>Doesn't flow good.

>> No.1423907

>>1423895
they would, we haven't had one in ages!!!!!!111

>> No.1423910

>>1423905

I trolled you're ass.

>> No.1423931

>And God said unto them, be good or else I will steal all your marijuana and smoke it by myself.
>In fear of being without weed all the people gathered and shared there food and water with the poor. They opened their doors to the homeless and God on high was pleased.
>God wasn't the only one high, everybody was pretty stoned in fact.

My attempt at writing scripture, sort of a new New Testament, in a thousand years everyone will have a copy.

>> No.1423945
File: 85 KB, 600x422, deal-with-it.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1423945

>>1423910

I just reversed trolled you by responding to your obvious troll.

>> No.1423960

>>1423931
That was actually pretty funny.

>> No.1423973
File: 29 KB, 240x320, fgsdf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1423973

Just something random as fuck....
Let's call the guy "David" and the girl "Kim" or something, sorry if this is gonna be tl;dr

>As David slowly walked out of the room, as if he didn't know where he was going, Kim looked at him with lustful eyes, a sight David was in no way familiar with
>David had noticed her before, he could feel her gaze when he was studying alone in the library or waiting for the train. He was used to seeing her around but had never once spoken to her,shyness was his dominating trait.
>It was raining, he calmly took out his black umbrella and started walking to the exit, it was after all, time to go home.
>She seemed lonely and cold, something David could relate to, he thought to himself "What if I share my umbrella with her ? I hope I don't get mistaken for some kind of creep"
>So he walked, subtly towards her;
>"Hey there,there's no need to get wet, here we can share my umbrella" said David cheerfully
>"Oh hey, thanks a lot" Kim said with a soft voice and wide smile.


I'm fucking spent

>> No.1423982

>>1423973

Your words go about flowing in a terrible way.

>> No.1423983

- Fuck - said detective Donoman in a way that corresponded well with a glimpse of a smile that he didn't even tried to hide. Boowel could have thought "why didn't he?", but it went unnoticed as David looked in abyss of anus stretched beyond durability of tissue. His eyes swallowed in the small hallow was a struggle like something out of Nietzsche.

>> No.1423986

>>1423982
Yeah I thought as much, just some random stuff from the top of my head.
Any other criticism ?

>> No.1423989

"so why am i still alive?

"because i haven't killed you yet."

>> No.1423997

>>1423989
Is that the proper grammar? That sounds way more mechanical than what normal people would say.

>> No.1424009

Are we carrying on with this shit? I tuned up to the play but it looks like I am a bit late for participation.

>> No.1424010

>He hadn't gone to the bathroom in weeks.<
>Slipping on the latex gloves, he wondered if this was safe.<
>In a deep squat he thrust two fingers upward.<
>Reeling in pain, he ripped two hard chunks of bloody fecal matter from his anus.<
I'm using "he" too much right?

>> No.1424016

Oh what is life but a woeful journey
to experience all and abandon yearning
and as we depart from this mortal plane
in peace, agony, glory or shame
the last thought that shall travel your mind
"Who wouldn't want to leave this place behind ?"

>> No.1424019

>>1424010
In my opinion yes, try and change the wording to avoid "he"

>> No.1424030

>>1424019
Thanks anon, I'm no good at narrative.
More of a historical thesis writer.
I'm writing about my experiences with prescription drug addicts in the mountains of West Virginia.

>> No.1424090

>>1424030
No problem bro

>> No.1424102

Down a long, dusty, road at midnight walked a crowd of refugees. Occasionally a small truck would speed past them, it's occupants looking out over the mass of people solemnly.

>The result of watching Hotel Rwanda and seeing this thread

>> No.1424113

>"Because I haven't killed you yet."
>"And you never will.", he replied.
>With a quick jerk, the man's hand went quickly into his coat pocket.
>A quick pull revealed the man's hand from his coat, a string now running between the digits of his fingers into a balled up fist.
>The wooden chair exploded underneath, launching the man up and through the roof.
>A smooth womanly hand placed two checks on the table in front of the hitman.
>Clenching his teeth, the grip of the hitman's fingers crushed the cup. Liquid and glass falling from his hand.
>The waitress placed a third check on the table...

>> No.1424119

>Funniest thread on /lit/ ever

>> No.1424116

ITT: Failure

>> No.1424124

>>1423986
I thought it was fine.

>> No.1424126

>>1423997
it's conversational English, meant to convey both a conflict and time pressure. i like the next line above "and you never will".

>> No.1424136

It was 2AM when he burst in my door, waving a headless chicken around and screaming about brain worms.
My initial surprise gave way to anger, and I wasted no time in bludgeoning him to death with an aluminum baseball bat.
In between swings he coughed up copious amounts of blood, and sputtered out a few words.
"This is existence"

I realized how deep that was only after he died.
Then I wrote a few books on it and became a millionaire. My book signings are attended solely by teenagers who wear T-shirts that say things like "Jesus was wrong" and "Fuck society".
Now, before I finally go to my reward(if there even is one), I would like to say this.
I hate all of you. Especially my readers.
The only friend I have left is a shotgun hanging on my wall. It's only got one shell, but I've saved it for my cheating whore of a wife.
I am working around this predicament by swallowing two bottles worth of high strength aspirin and getting obscenely drunk off of Bailey's Irish cream.

So long.

>> No.1424151

>A man meets god

So there I was, standing in front of the almighty ruler of the universe. I had died sometime before in a plane crash/shark attack.
The plane crashing took out my legs.
The sharks got the rest.

God is not a powerful looking figure. In fact, he looks like the kind of arrogant teenage prick who you would gladly kick in the balls without any remorse whatsoever. But I digress.
"My son, you have lived a decent life. And now you go to your reward". His voice sounded like the cries of a dying kitten.
"Oh lord" I said,"Truly I am humbled and honored to be in your presence"
"Don't flatter me, dickface"

>> No.1424191

>Herbert Melville looked down at the Large, Veiny, Stiff and Protruding Pink Sex Toy (the L.V.S.P.P.S.T). He wondered how it had gotten there. He wasn’t particularly surprised, indeed he didn’t particularly care. It just seemed strange to him that tonight, the night of his suicide, should be the night he did in fact encounter a L.V.S.P.P.S.T


i wrote a page of this for NaNaWriMo and will post the rest if anyone is interested

>> No.1424224

>>1423854
>The man sat in the chair, looking across the coffee table at his would-be killer, who was slowly sipping at his cup of coffee.
>"Why aren't I dead yet?"
>The hitman took another sip and sat the coffee cup down, then looked up.
>"Because I haven't killed you yet."
Please stop.

>> No.1424262

I am fucking lost, but so is this frail attempt at making something coherent. Can we reboot this bitch, or, something?

>> No.1424278

>I killed the ones I found with the symptoms, if they stumbled into view while I was working on the fields. Owen mostly let them go. He asked me why I bothered them when he saw me dashing back to the house for the shovel, and each time I said I was being merciful. I never touched them, even with gloves on. After they had stopped moving, I scooped them up onto the shovel and deposited them as well as I could onto the pile by the mailbox.

>> No.1424287

>>1424191
post the rest of this shit

>> No.1424319

"I am Dr.Kashmir" said Dr. Kashmir.

>> No.1424339

>>1424287
>>1424287

alright, it's not very good.

>He thought for a moment. Upon the nature of being and existence and why we’re here and things of that description. Or so I imagine. I really am not at all interested, i was hardly paying attention to the coming and goings of his thoughts to be wonderfully honest and i know he didn't care much either.

>Now the sex toy. That is something worth talking about, never before has such a finely crafted piece of machinery brought such elicit pleasure to my eyes.

>What a sex toy it was. A vibrator. But not one of these sleek, smooth well oiled machines that stare seductively at you from Big Larry‘s Amsterdam Video Exchange and Sex Shop, just begging to be placed 'you know where'. By the by, I’d told Big Larry repeatedly that his shop name was too long. I mean come on, it was a bit of a mouthful really. But he never listened, after all, business was booming. But that’s a story for later.

>> No.1424347

>>1424339
>>1424339

>No, no no, this sex toy was a rather vulgar piece, shaped and styled just like a man's erect penis. Seemingly an obvious aesthetic attribute, as I'm sure you know, by the effect here, in this dimly lit room in this grimy north Manchester flat; the effect of this rugged and purely masculine shape brought shivers down my spine. A tingle to my tongue, it was as if the very air around the L.V.S.P.P.S.T was alive. Unfortunately it seemed to scream desperation and loneliness at Herbert. This I know for a fact. He said it himself. We both often wondered about vibrators and things of that description, it seemed that it was easy for women to get sex. Any man would have it with them. I mean honestly, if Jilly the barmaid turned and offered me a ride I’d say yes is an instant. Fantastic jugs. Wouldn't surprise me if she did do it one day too. She’s been around, but so have I, so I guess I can’t judge. But yeah, as Herbert himself was telling me, he looked at this thing and it made him feel terrible.

>So he jumped off the chair.
>The noose tightened.
>And he ended his life.


that's as far as i got with my NaNaWriMo entry, unedited btw, before people start to rip it to pieces.

>> No.1424371

>>1424347
>>1424339

God you suck BB, lose the trip, seriously. You are a faggot. I have never seen a redeeming post by you.

>> No.1424375

>>1424319

"Kashmir" David listened as imaginary voice pronounced name in his head. "Is it some kind of material?" stared to wander but that thought got pushed away by unconsciously triggered visualization in which David moved gently his hand across Kashmir's brown face. The facture seemed smooth despite multiple protrusions. "Fuck I am high" thought to himself as a polite "mr Devont?" reached his ear or rather mind.

>> No.1424382

>>1424371

that's not at all constructive of nice you meanie.

post constructive criticism please, no grumpy wumpys like you allowed in this thread!

>> No.1424392

be glad, no-one even fucking went near my stuff

>> No.1424398

>>1424382

It is a shitty attempt at being humorous. It's really not that funny in it's attempts to pander toward the "HURR DURR POOP VAGINA HAHA" crowd. I know you thought it was funny when you wrote it and posted it on /lit/ but it really just something that most people will just scroll though.

>> No.1424403
File: 1.29 MB, 579x3936, 1247508867736.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1424403

>>1424382

>meanie
>grumpy wumpy

fucking tripfags

>> No.1424413

>>1424392
I'm interested what your stuff is, now. Not trolling, no lovey-dovey gollywoggle jokes.

>> No.1424426

>>1424398
>>1424398

you don't understand the contect of the origional story, so i understand your concerns, however if you think the words 'vagina' and 'poop' are funny i'm going to assume that you're an American.

Sorry that you feel intimidated by the mention of a sex toy in literature, must make you feel self-conscious or something?

thanks for your comments anyways, however i believe that if i posted this as an anonymous user you would not have nearly as much of a reaction, i believe your anger and disdain are based surely because you yourself are mad jelly of my internet persona.

It's okay, just try to learn to love

>>1424403
>>1424403
art thou enraged?

>> No.1424430

>>1424392
did you post here?

>>1424382
bb if you didnt write about sex primarily i wud hav read it <3

>> No.1424434

>>1424426
Let's just say this, if you saw my face it would be the face of madness.

>> No.1424441

>>1424434

well i'm sorry about that


>>1424430
thanks fakebrax, good to know
<3

>> No.1424457

We have not left the dark ages. The shade of existence is now a murky, infinite grey.

>> No.1424459

>>1424441
Please keep your false sympathy to yourself. It's hardly your doing anyway, but there is still no cure for madness. I will just have to loathe you forever.

>> No.1424485

The whore was being furiously raped by the horse. Dumb animal was making its movements unconsciously, driven by pure instinct of breeding and wetness of vagina around its giant genitalia. Her screams filled the room and his brain with even wilder fantasies. Pay-to-watch video stream was just great thanks to his mom's credit card, and his cock already went blue with excitement and premonition of first-in-last-three-weeks ejaculation. He planned to ejaculate a lot today. Sperm outburst rised and fell, covering his face, dry lips and widly open eyes. Swallowing his own cum he smiled and thought of how delicious it would be to swallow this horses cum, Mmm,yes .
After a while, he switches to another streaming live - two dirty lesbians giving enemas to each other. They obviously didnt wash themselves before shooting and some brown granules went out with enema. He fuckin loved scat porn. His dick rose, ready to match his mind in depravity. At first stroking slowly, he gained speed and here his dick was blueish once again, boy's grimace went insane, tongue sagging back and forth in open mouth.
But then he saw her, in a window, girl next door, she probably moved here some time ago. She was walking in a simple casual silk dress, jeans underneath, and completly unmatching t-shirt. There was nothing extreme and profligate in her appearance, yet he couldn't stop gazing. She was joyfully walking down the road, smiling to every bark her dog made. That very moment he knew, that he wouldn't be masturbating to porn ever. Porn lost its essence for him. He fell for a young smiling lady, and all he wanted was to embrace, hug her tightly and never let go. His dick lost its stiffness, filthy animal part couldn't understand men's heart. This day, one to-be man found his love, salvation and joy of life.
p.s. english is not my native, but i tried my best.

>> No.1424487

>>1424459
>>1424459

the knowledge of my how my actions have moulded and shaped your feelings will haunt me forever ;_;

>> No.1424562

A thick stench filled the air--death, that's what it smelled like. Stagnant, putred, infected. Only a madman would tred in those lands. The dirt was dry and could be sporatically kicked up into a vision-blurring cloud. No rain had fallen there in many years; the very sight of the endless expanse of red-brown dirt could dry a mouth of all saliva. The sun showed its face rarely, prefferring to keep kidden behind a safe curtain of dense, low-hanging clouds. If only these clouds could spare one, fresh drop of blue blood, perhaps life could begin. Life, from one little peice of the once blue sky. The very life that had abandoned the dry earth so long ago.

I just pulled that out of my ass. It's retarded and stemming from my craving for ice water all of a sudden.

>> No.1424625

Why do I not feel what they tell me to feel? My father says I must dedicate myself to maximal scholastic achievement, but I always care more about other things- creativity, friendships, individuality...
If I simply give in, live by obedience, will I start to have the motivation towards a 'proper' life? I'm 20 years old now, much too old to live through blind adherence to instructions. Besides, I have tried (quite successfully) living to build my social image, and nothing could be more hollow.

>> No.1424710

I met him by accident in a back-alley making balloon animals. While I was accustomed to clowns doing such things, it was strange for him to be using condoms. In seconds, his rag hit my mouth and sent me out like a letter. When I had been returned by a throbbing postmaster, my anus felt a little bit wider. I simply thought to myself: "That's the last time I greet a clown in a back-alley!"

>> No.1425540

oops i wrote too much + i'm a shitty writer joke's on you

You told me once that when you were a little kid, maybe like nine or ten years old, you went through a phase where all you did was walk around and watch television through people's windows. You didn't like to wear shoes, either, you said, so you'd just spend hours wandering around barefoot staring into people's houses, pretending you were a member of their family, that you were sitting inside with them watching TV. I asked you what kind of shows you'd watch. You said you didn't remember, but that you didn't think it was very important.

At the time I wanted to reply with some kind of appropriately thought-provoking anecdote from my life. I couldn't, because my life is and always has been pretty bare of thought-provoking anecdotes. I guess I could have told you about how, when I was about eight or so, I was convinced that vampires were real and all around us, like terrorists or communists or something. I spent hours on the internet, reading about vampires and looking for places where the enlightened few who realized the truth of the vampire menace would congregate. I used my dad's shitty printer to print pages and pages of information about vampires and put them into three ring binders, filed away until I needed to reference them when, inevitably, I had to confront these fanged monstrosities. That would have been a stupid thing to talk about, though. It's not a very good story - it doesn't have any kind of satisfying ending. "Then I eventually lost interest" isn't a good way to end a story.