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/lit/ - Literature

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1423769 No.1423769 [Reply] [Original]

>you write a literature
>book slowly gains popularity as your literature becomes critically acclaimed
>have people respect you as great author for the morals inside said literature
>go to a book signing, expounding your genius to the fans
>a girl with a copy of your literature comes up to you and tells you why the philosophical reasoning inside the literature you wrote are incorrect, and she is completely right
>"......"
>"yeah, well, you were able to extrapolate that from my literature by closely examining it, so what you just said is actually a moral of my book!"
>she swoons over your intense wittiness, which more than makes up for your dashing good looks
>she wants to fuck
>on the way back to your apartment, she thinks about the moral of your literature yet again, this time with the perspective that her criticisms are actually its message
>she finds multiple holes in her previous logic
>the girl confronts you telling you why your literature is still wrong
>she is no longer swooned by the throbbing intellect she thought you had and starts to walk away broken-hearted
>your heart is broken as well
>"Wait! I must tell you the true moral of my book! The true moral of my book is that females like you are nothing but no-good second-guessing cynics who deserve to die for the pain you cause!"
>fueled by your chemical imbalance, you kill her with a knife, make clothing out of her skin, wear it, throw her remains inside a dumpster, and then start traveling to the house of the person reading this sequence of events

>> No.1423771

>when you get there the reader confronts you about your position on literature that something extrapolated from your literature can count as the moral of it, and says that if you are right then all books regardless of quality should lead to truth because the criticism of its apparent moral can count as the moral of the literature that was just criticized
>"Ahhhhhh, I see your point..."
> You force him to read Curious George to find the meaning of life so you can use it in a literature written by you to make cash-money
>you watch him unwillfully read Curious George and become tired after many hours
>the reader takes this opportunity to make a dash for the phone and calls the police
>the police break down the door to the cave and see a woman and a man fighting
>the police arrest the man for rape
>"thanks officers" *in a voice imitating a female*

>somebody calls this stupid and a piece of lazy writing
>"well that's point of it, duh! that's why it is so great!"

>> No.1423774

>You write a literature

You know... I like it. This is how I'm going to start referring to my writing.

>> No.1423788

This IS a "lazy piece of writing"

>> No.1423831

this almost became creepypasta

and is the best OC I've seen posted on /lit/, which isn't saying much

>> No.1423837

I am totally going to get high and reread this, and laugh my fucking ass off.

>> No.1423849

>>1423837
I just did.