Write what's on your mind

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Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:20:59 2019 No.14189728 [Reply] [Original]

Write what's on your mind

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:22:38 2019 No.14189735 File: 46 KB, 1088x696, wtf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >sit down to write >get this hrmpf.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:23:26 2019 No.14189737 I have never done what I have wanted to do. All my life I have backed down. Forces outside me have lived my life for me. Who am I? Who have I been?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:24:38 2019 No.14189738 >>14189735 thievault? lmao

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:25:24 2019 No.14189740 >>14189738 french-canadian, edmonds is british-canadian it's up in western canada

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:26:19 2019 No.14189743 >>14189728 wildlife photography is the boomerist genre of photography

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:27:39 2019 No.14189748 File: 96 KB, 744x1053, 1572751355105.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] yesterday i had a joyful epiphany, and today's going well enough, i feel enlightened by peace with self

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:30:44 2019 No.14189752 File: 91 KB, 615x720, 1572673064041.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14189743 why spend so much time and money to take pictures of wildlife if farm animals are right there not as ordinary as pet pics, not as alien as wildlife pics

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:31:58 2019 No.14189755 I don't want to turn 25 I'm a khhv and I could cope with book to a certain extent

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:35:11 2019 No.14189762 >>14189755 with books*

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:39:10 2019 No.14189775

I caught a cold and immediately afterwards I caught the flu. I was bedridden for three days, resulting in me losing about 15 lbs and on top of it all I think I'm anemic now. I can barely get out of bed in the morning but I can't tell whether it's the anemia or an episode of depression. My friends here are making plans without me but It's just making me realize that they're really just placeholders; it's time to move on from them anyway. I don't remember how to meet people, though. Everyone seems so happy here and yet I feel weak and dejected.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:46:39 2019 No.14189805 >>14189752 yeah why do anything original and creative we should just sit in our rooms until we die

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:56:27 2019 No.14189842

>>14189805
not him but that's the fucking problem i have with the boomer wildlife """photographers"""
they go to a certain location and just sit on their fat asses while staring through a telephoto lens without putting an ounce of creativity or originality. they just take same pictures of same birds and animals over and over again. you can do tons of different styles with post-production but no. they just follow the typical same dogshit formula of these shitty jpegs with high saturation and occasional hdr thrown into the mixture. they are not better than a teenager playing video games all day long.
fuck boomers and fuck wildlife photography

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:57:53 2019 No.14189845

Don't mind me, just feeling emo right now. I have to get this shitty writing off my plate and onto somebody else's.

im sick
in the head
some
body
someone hellppp meee
please help meeee
im fucking dying and nobody is helping meeeee
stop calculating and help meeeeee
but i didnt pass your test and now im dead
im you
you killed me
you killed you
youre dead
thats life apparently
its horrible here in hell
but i can see you
i can see all the bad and embarrassing things you do in secret
i see you pick your nose
i see you plot vengance
i see you wipe your ass and then stare at the toilet paper for too long
your every fear that you would die if someone was watching is all too true
youll live your life in tense static, electric brain jolts and anxiety
self defeating ideas and thoughts
you are a bad, broken human, nobody will ever love you in the way you want to be loved
lol
youre a faggot pussy
you should kill yourself
you have some talents but its all worthless in the end

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 04:58:29 2019 No.14189847
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The idolization of "Chad" that has become so common on this website shows how wretched this place really is. These people want to be they guy that steals yo girl, the guy that gets away with lying and being an arrogant asshole. Because deep down they're bitter about how they fail at those things irl.
Even worse, they deny these desires by always pointing out his positive traits. How he's confident in himself, good looking and fit (usually adding the few good qualities they think they have to this list for self-gratification). Or how he has superior genes, which serves only as an excuse for their miserable lives. Truly, these people are as low as it gets.

I'm not claiming that I'm any paragon of virtue, but at least I'm aware of my flaws and work to better myself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:00:15 2019 No.14189858 >>14189847 chad is a turd world nigger but that's hip because everyone's a cuck now

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:01:33 2019 No.14189864 >>14189728 I'm overthinking everything, i should really go with the flow. I'm also scared shitless of posting my first short story anywhere.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:03:59 2019 No.14189871

>>14189864
>He hasn't already tried going with the flow and finding out it's just as bad a way to live and trying to find a middle ground between overthinking and going with the flow and finding out it's just as bad too

Life is pain and you can't outthink it.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:04:00 2019 No.14189872

death? the bells of death rings through my soul, a thousand yards, culling my sheep, i performed the rites and death calleth mine name, wondering to myself, why man of ill-star, leave my bloddy bever on the ground for soothsay, my bevor choking me like winds eastward, these hills contorted and perversed, so were the stars-

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:04:49 2019 No.14189876 >>14189842 >>14189847 you sound like loonies anons

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:06:25 2019 No.14189881 is there anyway to distinguish between when your parents are right and you're wrong?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:09:17 2019 No.14189894 >>14189881 Listen to your gut. If you get the feeling like you can smell some shit but don't know where it is, you're probably right.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:11:23 2019 No.14189900 >>14189872 Very ye olde with the language

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:14:18 2019 No.14189911 >>14189842 Based >>14189876 Why do you believe that?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:23:54 2019 No.14189931 How can you accept yourself if you dont know what lies in your heart?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:27:05 2019 No.14189940 >>14189931 You find out.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:05:21 2019 No.14190016 >>14189881 Your parents are always wrong

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:13:00 2019 No.14190030 >>14189940 How?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:16:16 2019 No.14190038 Thinking about how to make changes for the better. Can't think of anything

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:16:24 2019 No.14190039 >>14190030 Find that out, too. You only have to want it enough.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:17:55 2019 No.14190042 >>14190038 Do the things you're afraid of doing

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:25:57 2019 No.14190065 >>14190039 I do. I read various psychology books in order to gain an insight. So far, nothing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:45:17 2019 No.14190107 >>14190065 Contemporary psychology? Try Jung.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:53:58 2019 No.14190120 >>14190107 Jung is my favorite. Although i value opinions of others like freud, rank, may, adler, erickson and etc. Subconsciousness is out of reach for me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:55:47 2019 No.14190122 >>14190042 woo nice motivational poster there anon would be a great caption for the OP image

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:59:40 2019 No.14190132 File: 102 KB, 319x500, 1573555241829.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14190120 Reach harder.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 07:05:41 2019 No.14190146
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 07:06:16 2019 No.14190147 >>14190132 I dont know how.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 07:20:27 2019 No.14190181

Some days, at certain times, I question my impact and appearance on other people. The question has no consistent answer, as the question always changes.

Am I fair in my dealings?
Do I have the right?
Is truth or compassion more important?
Have I done the best that I can?

A passage, from Buckminster Fuller, recently read, grants some solace:

"The things to do are: the things that need doing: that you see need to be done, and that no one else seems to see need to be done. Then you will conceive your own way of doing that which needs to be done—that no one else has told you to do or how to do it. This will bring out the real you that often gets buried inside a character that has acquired a superficial array of behaviors induced or imposed by others on the individual."

While still not a complete answer to the changing and shifting question of "I", it is at least action. In action I can find some reasonable respect for myself and dismiss the nagilling, petty, concerns appearing in my mind until another day.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 07:23:08 2019 No.14190188 >>14189748 pls tell me about your epiphany

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 07:26:29 2019 No.14190196 >>14189847 The Chad meme is born from helplessness. The inability to break from the advertised marketplace.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 07:27:58 2019 No.14190201 >>14189847 Chad and especially gigachad posters are faggot cancer. There are a few of us out here that avoid the retarded cuck shit. Be the poster you want to see anon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 09:18:41 2019 No.14190504 >>14189735 I like it. Is this a part of something anon?

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 09:44:41 2019 No.14190588

>>14189847
What a superficial chadological analysis, even by Chad standards. The "jock versus nerd" trope has been around in American culture for decades, only now has it acquired ramification through the clustering effect of male social outcasts (i.e, to use the technical terminology virgin loser incels). There it formulated a deep subtext of sociobiological iniquities. For everybody else it's just a funny meme.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 09:45:54 2019 No.14190597

>>14189728

I pace around late at night, distracting myself from the coming end of day that would eventuate to the next one. "Why did I have to react?" I ask myself. "Why, why? I lost my cool, and now I play the fool yet again." I continue as the dialouge takes place in the forefront of my temporal lobe. "You know people better then you think, trust in it, people are selfish they will betray if not now later, you don't even want it that much" I respond to myself. "The approach was so wrong, I had no right to question her as if she did something wrong when she hadn't, she gave me all the evidence, she even sent me a photo" I continued. The night stretched on and I had begun to find myself writting to figure it out to no avail, I continued lost in my thought questioning my mental fortitude. Why today, why did I feel lile this today and have to question the person I loved, she was only meerly running late. I continued to doubt myself and put more pressure on our relationship. A quick thought snapped to my head "You have become the girl in this relationship" to which I responded "If she was probing me as such, then I would know something is wrong for the only reason is because of the sins of my past...." The question devloped into a more serious one "Is life a big lie and honesty the only way to win or otherwise lie and be caught in the gameplay?"

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 10:19:37 2019 No.14190733

>back to wageslaving for dogshit money
>back for selling my life off for (after expenses) hardly anything at all
thanks to boomers for fucking wrecking the job market, gutting the value of a dollar, and clogging up the remains of what was once a job market because they want to "work for fun" or still haven't managed to save enough to retire because they keep buying a new car or a new RV every single year.
thanks to health problems i can only manage to do office jobs, and they're bloated with walking corpses, H1B/chinese, and other shit. they get a degree in their nation for three peanuts and a chicken and somehow it's held to the same value as mine. i'm fucked through and through. my body is simmering in so much rage and what am i going to do about it. say i go kill everyone responsible. how many people is that, millions? even just speaking logistically that's infeasible. what's to be done? i was wronged, i received a slight, a slap to the face, and it's from hundreds of thousands of people at once. if it's society as a whole that wronged you, you have no recourse. what can you do? i can't even slap that many faces if i made it a fulltime pursuit. anger with no outlet, no target of reasonable level. it just festers. when one person wrongs you, your anger is justified. when one hundred thousand people wrong you, you can't do shit about it.
>>14189842
very strong opinion on a subject most people don't give a second thought to. i like it, very /lit/, 10/10 rage.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 10:34:09 2019 No.14190812
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To return to my opening argument: there is nothing natural about the concept of wilderness. It is entirely a creation of the culture that holds it dear, a product of the very history it seeks to deny. Indeed, one of the most striking proofs of the cultural invention of wilderness is its thoroughgoing erasure of the history from which it sprang. In virtually all of its manifestations, wilderness represents a flight from history. Seen as the original garden, it is a place outside of time, from which human beings had to be ejected before the fallen world of history could properly begin. Seen as the frontier, it is a savage world at the dawn of civilization, whose transformation represents the very beginning of the national historical epic. Seen as the bold landscape of frontier heroism, it is the place of youth and childhood, into which men escape by abandoning their pasts and entering a world of freedom where the constraints of civilization fade into memory. Seen as the sacred sublime, it is the home of a God who transcends history by standing as the One who remains untouched and unchanged by time's arrow. No matter what the angle from which we regard it, wilderness offers us the illusion that we can escape the cares and troubles of the world in which our past has ensnared us.

But the trouble with wilderness is that it quietly expresses and reproduces the very values its devotees seek to reject. The flight from history that is very nearly the core of wilderness represents the false hope of an escape from responsibility, the illusion that we can somehow wipe clean the slate of our past and return to the tabula rasa that supposedly existed before we began to leave our marks on the world. The dream of an unworked natural landscape is very much the fantasy of people who have never themselves had to work the land to make'a living - urban folk for whom food comes from a supermarket or a restaurant instead of a field, and for whom the wooden houses in which they live and work apparently have no meaningful connection to the forests in which trees grow and die. Only people whose relation to the land was already alienated could hold up wilderness as a model for human life in nature, for the romantic ideology of wilderness leaves precisely nowhere for human beings actually to make their living from the land.

(1/2)

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 10:35:21 2019 No.14190821
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>>14190812

This, then, is the central paradox: wilderness embodies a dualistic vision in which the human is entirely outside the natural. If we allow ourselves to believe that nature, to be true, must also be wild, then our very presence in nature represents its fall. The place where we are is the place where nature is not. If this is so-if by definition wilderness leaves no place for human beings, save perhaps as contemplative sojourners enjoying their leisurely reverie in God's natural cathedral-then also by definition it can offer no solution to the environmental and other problems that confront us. To the extent that we celebrate wilderness as the measure with which we judge civilization, we reproduce the dualism that sets humanity and nature at opposite poles. We thereby leave ourselves little hope of discovering what an ethical, sustainable, honorable human place in nature might actually look like.

Excerpted from "The Trouble With Wilderness, or, Getting Back to the Wrong Nature," William Cronon

Tell me what you think, /lit/. Read this recently and it left a big impression on me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 10:45:59 2019 No.14190868 File: 322 KB, 1199x1052, 3AD6C253-5B3B-4430-80AB-5A7D8AE9F2F3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14189728 Going on day 11. And the thoughts of her are not as frequent, nor as strong, which is healthy for me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 10:49:24 2019 No.14190876 I give up. You win, whoever the fuck is in charge of things. I give up

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 11:13:34 2019 No.14190966 >>14190147 Find out.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 11:59:26 2019 No.14191202

>>14189728
I want to coom inside a girl and die. I see so many girls. I want to coom all the time. But I tell myself it’s wrong. I can’t watch porn. I can’t have pre-marital sex. I can’t fap. I can’t kill myself. But this is all I feel. The only other passion I have is a romantic love for a girl that I will never be with. Every day is filled with vanity and suffering. I just want to die.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:03:01 2019 No.14191224

>>14190868
stay strong anon, i remember seeing your post a few days ago about it being day 7 or something.
oneitis is a sin. the unicorn you put on a pedestal is nothing more than a lecherous whore
>please pronounce as hoo-ah
there is beauty and appreciation to be found in all whamen.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:07:47 2019 No.14191248 >>14191224 she’s not a whore, not yet at least. That might be why I’m interested in her far more than other girls. Truthfully, the reason I don’t like thinking of her is because I’ll likely never be with her.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:08:16 2019 No.14191252 I wish i wouldnt be angry at myself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:11:10 2019 No.14191271 >>14191202 just have sex with a prostitute

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:20:22 2019 No.14191335 >>14190876 Haha, I am glad to hear that. Now kill yourself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:43:33 2019 No.14191468 >>14190876 no don't >t. god himself

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:59:40 2019 No.14191561 File: 68 KB, 1000x750, photo-1563442162585-fa1426255ea9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14189728 >Tfw no STEM brown GF to watch anime with and snuggle in bed Fuck this cold gay ass earth

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 13:56:17 2019 No.14191836 >>14189847 Did you forget to post your argument?

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 13:58:06 2019 No.14191845

My favorite kind of narrator: scientifically educated and down to earth; a collector of data and facts; skilled in the arrangement of his material; reflecting on the subject and the nature of his work; a reporter rather than an artist; interested in the fantastic and the obscure.

Sebald comes close to a certain extend, though his late overly-mannered style does not meet the demands of scientific clarity. I'd like a mixture of him and Machen.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 14:02:33 2019 No.14191882 I have been emotionally dependent on my mom my whole life. Now I am 23 and moved out but I feel extremely insecure without her.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 14:05:11 2019 No.14191894

>>14189842
>fucking up wildlife photography in post
absolute retard. yeah here's my epic Fashwave picture of a lion because the animal itself is not enough

photography is the manifestation of god in time. whatever you think you can do in post to improve upon it is nowhere near as profound as the bare image itself

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 14:10:18 2019 No.14191924 Feels so weird being born in 1997. Caught between millennial and zoomer culture, it's like being in a cultural identity crisis.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 14:57:45 2019 No.14192176 >>14191882 being dependent on your mother past the age of 12 is humiliating and deranged, I wish my dad still knew how to be a man when I was a teenager

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 15:34:00 2019 No.14192342 i'am an abomination and a failure

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 15:51:46 2019 No.14192420

>>14192176
Me too. Did you have an older father? Mine was in his late forties when I was born. He worked hard for our family, but he never taught me a thing, partially because he didn't have the time or energy and partially because he no longer understood the culture at all. The only metric for success he ever gave me was grades at school, so I applied myself and now five years out of highschool I am nowhere and beating myself up for all the things I don't know.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:15:58 2019 No.14192548 I'm in love with a girl that I'll never be with.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:38:22 2019 No.14192670 >>14189728 Want to write someone walking angrily over to another person. They're the only two people in a small room. Want to say barge or some similar word but can't think of one

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:41:31 2019 No.14192687 >>14189735 not bad anon, good imagery

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:44:43 2019 No.14192699 >>14192420 >Did you have an older father? Yeah. Too old and sick to make me a man, nothing worked until I went blue collar

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:47:04 2019 No.14192711 >>14192699 >nothing worked until I went blue collar What do you work in?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:48:54 2019 No.14192718 >>14192711 unskilled labor

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 17:01:47 2019 No.14192795 >>14192718 What kind? Don't be so evasive faggot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 17:04:01 2019 No.14192810 >>14192795 eat my dick fudge packer

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 17:09:27 2019 No.14192833 >>14192810 kys

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 17:09:57 2019 No.14192835 >>14192810 >You're a faggot >n-no !! s-suck my penis!!

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 21:35:36 2019 No.14194045 >>14189735 envisions is a good word. glad you chose it to fill in the gap.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 21:37:35 2019 No.14194058 >>14189728 I will restore the dragonsphere

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 21:40:26 2019 No.14194069 >>14190868 I fapped, but to my imagination. I’m still not watching porn or red boards

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 21:40:49 2019 No.14194073
File: 624 KB, 1260x788, cf569ea36a34d8001e1648d8372647a1__1260x.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm thinking about how limited my life is and how little time I have left. It's time to get serious, science and the Enlightenment project in general is really the only human goal worth working towards, the only things that have the potential to make life bearable. I don't have any sort of academic education so I'm not sure how I can contribute, but I feel an intense calling to. Even if that is just being a janitor at a lab or answering phones, I know that nothing else will help alleviate my anxiety.

I've also been feeling a lot more discomfort with my male body ever since I opened up to my therapist about a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I have very good prospects for transition, but I'm not a complete forlorn hope. I really wish I didn't feel this way

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 21:47:41 2019 No.14194103 The lack of intentional eugenics in modern society is a great moral travesty

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 21:50:22 2019 No.14194117 JERK THE D*CK

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 22:09:35 2019 No.14194214 humanity debases

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 22:15:35 2019 No.14194248 >>14189847 >These people want to be they guy that steals yo girl, the guy that gets away with lying and being an arrogant asshole. Chad is never portrayed like that though. You are projecting your own image of Chad onto the meme. Sad!

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 22:24:35 2019 No.14194315 depressed alone sickly and broke feel like this is really it this time see you in hell faggots

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 22:40:03 2019 No.14194369 I have to give a presentation tomorrow Part of me wonders if I will ever learn to live outside of society I want to escape this

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 22:49:23 2019 No.14194411

I've been trying to deal with my stress through meditation. I've been visualizing my money related stresses as being due to a species of ugly, little, greasy hook nosed creatures called grabblers. They invented interest rates (like the ones on my credit card) and cost me my job, because they only hire their own kind.

I'm thinking of turning it into a book. Any suggestions on a title?

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 22:51:25 2019 No.14194417

I often wonder idly about what can only think to term as “aesthetic disposition.” Why do have a certain propensity for this painter, or that type of music? Where does this predilection for certain subforms of art arise? Through extensive scrutiny and introspective I still find nothing.
Also, books for this feel? I would greatly appreciate if one of you could elucidate on this subject.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:17:12 2019 No.14194528 >>14189735 I like that. more!

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:18:45 2019 No.14194536 >>14194417 no sense in overthinking that, as nothing would come off of it. it's not something to be fixed, it's just what makes you yourself

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:22:36 2019 No.14194556 >>14190876 no u

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:26:33 2019 No.14194573 File: 274 KB, 700x958, 1572994972556.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14191561 how 'bout a stem brown boy?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:27:41 2019 No.14194578 File: 160 KB, 566x677, 1459883053053.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Short haired cutie who was wearing a shirt made of soft material with no bra underneath.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:29:43 2019 No.14194585 >>14194573 >tfw no STEM bf to bully and belittle me for being to dumb for math.

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:30:12 2019 No.14194589

I've been thinking a great deal about sex. Not like most men think about it, no, I've been thinking about how I don't want it. I used to think that I wanted it, but now I don't think that I do. I've been seeing a girl now (platonically) that I'm deeply in love with, and it has now occurred to me how much I don't want to have sex with her, or, for that matter, any woman I've loved. I want a great deal of romance and affection in a relationship, cuddling, kissing, and all that, but when I think of *that*, something causes me to almost wretch in disgust, to repulse it with every fiber of my being. No, I can't do that, it would be to give over everything of myself to another so that there is none of my own left, nothing left of me. I can love, but I do not wish to be possessed, to be consumed by another such that my most intimate nature is lain bare upon the stone and sacrificed at the altar.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:32:26 2019 No.14194594 >>14194585 I would give you math tips and save the bullying for when you disagrees with my /lit/ tastes

Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:34:21 2019 No.14194603
File: 31 KB, 1223x382, pie.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I wrote this because of my disillusionment with america. I just want to go straight up walden in europe and disappear from this place.
I don't know if it sucks, i'm a painter first and foremost but i write sometimes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:34:34 2019 No.14194608 >>14194589 gl with that when early 20s puberty forces you to bend over to whomever passes by

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:35:31 2019 No.14194612 >>14194589 Sex is ultimate intimacy anon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:36:28 2019 No.14194618 >>14194589 Kissing is really really nice. I miss it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:36:50 2019 No.14194620 >>14194608 I'm 23 and have had a full beard since I was 15.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:37:58 2019 No.14194623 File: 75 KB, 198x198, smug.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14194620 >and have had a full beard since I was 15. Wow, she's very dedicated.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:40:29 2019 No.14194630 >>14194623 Kek

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:41:58 2019 No.14194635 File: 262 KB, 1040x997, Timestamp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14194623 Retard.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:44:03 2019 No.14194644 >>14194620 how do you handle sexual impulses. all I wish is to be alone for the eternity but my body has a completely different take on that

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:44:42 2019 No.14194647 >>14194644 What do you mean by sexual impulses?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:46:55 2019 No.14194661 >>14194647 I want to fuck half of my friendship circle

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:49:42 2019 No.14194677 >>14194661 I'm just not like that. I don't really feel an urge to have sex with women, I just want to like hold their hands and do romantic stuff, but I don't really want to have sex with them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:53:42 2019 No.14194695 >>14194661 Then have sex with them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:54:36 2019 No.14194699 >>14194677 god I envy you. I can barely think of friends as that if they match my sexual preferences

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 23:55:38 2019 No.14194700 >>14194695 I don't want to lose them. it's not like I have many either

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 00:05:14 2019 No.14194746 >>14194589 >I can love, but I do not wish to be possessed, to be consumed by another such that my most intimate nature is lain bare upon the stone and sacrificed at the altar. its called being a pussy

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 00:23:13 2019 No.14194821 Do women like /lit/ guys? or is our dating pool exclusively /lit/ women? because I don't know if I can handle someone like that. I'm trying to get a musician. But I don't think I have the energy for one.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 01:41:11 2019 No.14195076 >>14190868 Is she that cute? You'll need enough passion to seduce even the most devout nun.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 01:44:20 2019 No.14195094

Anybody else feel like a complete idiot when interacting with your peers? I feel like I can't have a natural conversation with anybody because I'm so insecure about the thoughts coming out of my mouth. I self-censor, to the point of stifling my own brain and placing it into a state a freeze between flight and fight which totally shuts me down. I can't think, all there is is my own overwhelming nervousness. The brain freeze isn't just mental, but also a physical bodily sensation that feels like I'm drunk or high or something. When I'm like this I have to force words out, cuz' I'm so scared of being stupid and thinking stupid thoughts which results in my ideas coming out as a jumbled mess. I have a hard time articulating this as I'm never comfortable enough to share it with my better acquaintances. This reply probably reads like a jumbled mess too.

From what I read on the web it seems like SAD or Bipolar Disorder, as when I'm alone this sensation goes away an there are days when I feel more normal. I guess what I'm trying to ask is if any anons have any experience in dealing with these feelings?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 01:46:32 2019 No.14195100 >>14191561 it’s not as fun as you think anon

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 01:53:57 2019 No.14195125 Going to do something nice tomorrow.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 02:00:58 2019 No.14195143 >>14191248 just do it faggot, tell her how you feel, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but make sure you do it one day

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 02:02:01 2019 No.14195150 >>14194578 tfw no tomboy gf trully

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 02:09:48 2019 No.14195170
File: 543 KB, 900x1335, x32.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I've had the feeling of complete alienation from other humans, it's like they function by some mysterious rules that I can only barely understand if spelled out. I often wonder just how much people I think of like that are just like me, but then when in public, they/you have to change that, there really is no way to have meaningful discussions but I still want it, nothing else catches my interest, and when people go on about food or some other trifle they manage to stretch into a while night of conversation with someone else, I feel like I don't belong as a human

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 02:31:55 2019 No.14195225

>>14194573
Fuck off. I'll let you know that I'll have consensusual sex with your mother and I mean really passionate sex after a romantic dinner with preliminaries and a shared shower too.
I swear I'll treat her right and be a gentleman and all. She'll enjoy it.
I'll make her moan

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 03:48:08 2019 No.14195411 >>14190966 I guess im too dumb for that. My knowledge cannot solve this mystery.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 04:07:07 2019 No.14195443 -contemplating about building a drift car. But need to save money but if I don’t have fun I get depressed and spend more money

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 04:09:50 2019 No.14195451 >>14189752 take pictures of food with colorful neat presentation, and then throw the food away.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 04:18:01 2019 No.14195465 >>14192342 no you're not Anon how much do you weigh anyway?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 04:30:12 2019 No.14195501 I feel my sanity hanging by a thread. I'm sinking into a dark pool of slime and nobody hears my muffled cries, they are already too far away.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 04:39:13 2019 No.14195534

Has anyone made the connection that the current zealous love for science by the layman is almost entirely based around the comforts it provides. It's such a superficial love born out of dependency for "easing" life and providing society with toys and new ways of exploring sloth.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 04:42:07 2019 No.14195545 >>14195534 no nobody, youre the first pal

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 04:43:15 2019 No.14195549 >>14195545 I meant like wrote about it in detail

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 05:18:44 2019 No.14195631

Does anyone else long for being creative but also lacks any creative spirit? When I try to think something up it is as if I being blocked, or even pushed away, by an impenetrable brick wall. I get this weird feeling as if my skull collapses in on itself.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 05:23:51 2019 No.14195643 >>14195534 Beyond that, the more man manufactures his environment, the more he comes to depend on it. Read the Unabomber & Friends

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 05:27:25 2019 No.14195650

>>14195631
No, because I consume a lot of media and the only way for me to do that without feeling like an vacant-minded consumer is to document my thoughts and criticism.
This gives me a large store of thoughts, breadcrumbs, bibliographic references.
Being in a learning-oriented / learning-promoting institution is helpful, as well, and depending on the field you may be able to associate with them remotely (Software development comes to mind but I am sure there is a larger world)

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 05:32:42 2019 No.14195660 Every time I write something it sounds very fake and forced. Nothing I can ever do seems to fix this.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 05:49:29 2019 No.14195699 I want to live but I don't know how. I'll try to die with gritted teeth at the very least.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 05:51:13 2019 No.14195704

>>14195631

You have to force yourself to create. People who meme about creative blocks are idiots. The problem with all the wannabe artists/writers out there are there's 0 discipline, creativity just doesn't flow into your soul and head overnight, you don't just feel a wealth of power that will enable you to make your wildest dreams come true.

It's hard work. You buckle up and force yourself or you fail. Simple as that.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 06:17:17 2019 No.14195778

I left the keys on the table and left gfs house after a fight. We are 5 years together. She was always loyal but when i left she texted with a guy who lives in another country. The messages were not sexual and they were talking about me and some random stuff. Is this considered cheating? I left her 5 days ago i dont answer the phone and she is at my doorstep everyday in the morning begging me to take her back and she is saying sorry that she went over the limit and she would never cheat on me.

Im i in the wrong for leaving? Isnt this emotional cheating?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 07:00:29 2019 No.14195892 >>14195094 Yes, everyday. I keep myself mostly isolated as to not embarrass myself by saying or doing stupid shit. So it’s probably pretty normal that I’m not able to articulate anything because I don’t practice it enough.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 08:50:33 2019 No.14196255

>>14194589
If you do not wish to let another explore your body, then so be it. However, at some point, there may come a time when the one whom you love wishes to take another step with you, to feel the hands of one whom they trust and admire, to reach a crux of pleasure caused by someone else.
At that point, what will you do? Yes, you do not want to have sex with them, but what if they want you to make them come?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 09:04:23 2019 No.14196301 >>14189845 You see how I saw you.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 09:40:35 2019 No.14196427 >>14195778 >gf's stopped reading there can't empathize

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 10:00:43 2019 No.14196483

Somethings wrong with me. I’ve always known I haven’t been quite right, but now I can feel it. I think violent thoughts often. It’s like some switch has been flipped inside my head, or some part of my brain has been irreversibly damaged. I don’t know what’s going to happen.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 10:02:39 2019 No.14196490 File: 293 KB, 682x519, 70E51B15-4900-4C7E-8761-92BA5642CBFF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] My body is clay, my spirit feels no pain. I fear no torment.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 10:03:36 2019 No.14196494 >>14196483 What happened?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 10:06:08 2019 No.14196501 >>14196494 Lots of family related bullshit drama, I can’t even feel comfortable at home.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 10:07:58 2019 No.14196508 >>14189748 pls tell me about your epiphany

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 10:19:57 2019 No.14196560 >>14196490 >tfw ywn have a moment of devotion as true and profound as he did

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 11:44:46 2019 No.14196880 I fucking hate myself.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 13:30:04 2019 No.14197378 >>14189728 My unveiling I will be exposed to the entire world.... when the time of the prophecy comes....when all is revealed... then the people of the world will rejoice....already knowing who I am''

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 13:50:31 2019 No.14197483 >>14196255 Then I may, but out of slavishness, not desire.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:05:21 2019 No.14197547 File: 130 KB, 1024x683, 1550810739244m.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14190181 Well said, anon.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:20:58 2019 No.14197615

For the first time in a long time, for two nights in a row, I’ve had dreams, or at least fragments of dreams that I can recall. In Sunday night’s dream I can only recall one scene. I am in a big 1940s-style car driving up a winding street in the nighttime. Though I’ve never been there, I’m convinced this occurred in Buenos Aires. I’m dead tired and between my tiredness and the darkness of the night, I can’t see anything as I drive wildly up the winding street.

In the second dream, last night’s dream, I am with my uncle’s step-daughter. She’s blonde and German. I am aware that I’m dreaming and decide to fuck her brains out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:23:24 2019 No.14197627 tonight's a rough one guys, i just don't want to wake up in tge morning and i don't know why.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:24:52 2019 No.14197632
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Got a surprise bonus in the mail last night, went to a new liquor store to get something to pass the night away with and saw that they had absinthe. It was a little more spendy than I was prepared to pay, but I got it. Where has this been all my life? I love black liquorice and it's such a pretty drink, especially when you put it in an expensive glass. I'm going to try as many different cocktails ad I can tonight

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:35:38 2019 No.14197695 Inb4 edgy or reddit but I do wonder if dropping the illogical delusions of religions and spiritualism in general would help humanity.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:51:47 2019 No.14197774 >>14197695 have sex

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:53:08 2019 No.14197785 >>14197774 but you just got done talking about how sex is sinful and bad and "coomer" make up your fucking mind

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 15:23:13 2019 No.14197916 >>14195778 was she just friends with the guy?

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 15:45:42 2019 No.14198044

I've had this dream about being sucked in a public bathroom by a Mexican prostitute. Someone was pushing my leg from under the door but I didn't care until I came. It was Donald Trump, and he ran away as our glanced. There was a watermelon on the sink and outside you could hear a kind of parade, as if 4th of July. I woke up and realized I had really ejaculated, so I went to have a bath.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:06:17 2019 No.14198179 >>14191882 >>14192176 >>14192420 >>14192699 >>14192711 >>14192718 >>14192795 >>14192833 Based mommy's boys

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:26:10 2019 No.14198278

I'm torn. I want to study philosophy at uni because I know I would love it, I've been to some lectures and love the subjects and made lots of friends.

My parents approve and I don't have to pay for college because of where I live.

But I would end up three years older with nothing on my hands, I feel like I'm postponing growing up and being an adult. I'm considering maybe econ? I don't know.
Thanks for listening

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:40:18 2019 No.14198361
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I did it guys. Today people from uni group invited me for a beer after evening class. Panic mode, but somehow I agreed completely unconciously and it wasn't that scary actually. I was talkative and made the cute girl laugh a couple of times. Now I'm overthinking every sentence I said and wondering if they liked me.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:42:36 2019 No.14198376

After so long, I finally realized I'm not actually emotionally crippled. It's just that I was consuming wrong kind of media. Recently started reading again and unlike before books actually makes me feel different kinds of emotions. Some movies make me emotional. Hell, even rekt threads started making me feel uncomfortable and disgusted.

I finally feel like I'm growing as a person.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:42:45 2019 No.14198378 >>14198361 They do. Congrats you're a functional human being.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:44:05 2019 No.14198385

Each day I am bitter. So long have I been volatile and dispassionate that I've forgot if my childhood was ever different from this. I want to know a true form of beauty, but each attempt at arresting this concept fails me, and each person gained is worse than the last. I am ugly inside and out, and cannot tell if there's an escape to ever be had. George Chapman was right in saying that "The Earth is a whore"

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:46:24 2019 No.14198401 >>14198378 that is a relief

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 16:53:06 2019 No.14198450 >>14198361 Congrats. Something similar awaits me tomorrow and I just hope I won't fuck it up.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:01:10 2019 No.14198493

Hey, I wrote this. I'm a philosopher and not a novelist, so I wasn't going for impeccable prose. Plz rate/crit.

Wherever I May Go

I've had a good life. I've had important memories and happy times, and if I had the confidence I would say that there will be many more to come. The truth, though, is that 10 minutes from now I will not be sitting at this computer. One week from now, I will have forgotten what I'm experiencing right now, and this moment will be lost forever. One year from now, my life circumstances will likely be so different that I will no longer be able to relate to the person I am currently. 10 years, 20 years, 50 years... as time moves forward there will be a greater and greater sway of variables and possibilities, so impossible to predict that my life will be unlike anything I wished or feared. And then, of course, death. And after that, I don't know at all. Something I learned too late is that life has no vested interest in your predictions. Happy, sad, dead, you don't control what's most important to you. Maybe freedom is not a transcending of life, but rather a surrender to its infinitude. Not power, but acceptance. Yet despite all this, here I am. Alive, and seeing through my eyes. The madness of life has been most gracious to allow me to exist, at least up until now. Whatever may happen to me, wherever I may go, I do know that I'll be there to live it, and that's not worth nothing. Tragedy or farce, it's an experience that will be mine. So, let me be grateful that as I live right now is all that is. Whatever may be, better or worse, is all that it shall be.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:05:49 2019 No.14198525 >>14198278 Cant recommend Econ, anon. It’s less /lit/ than Philosophy and less practical than Engineering.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:06:33 2019 No.14198530 >>14198278 Where is college free

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:09:25 2019 No.14198549

>>14189728
"Ladies, and gentlemen, I have come to say the N-word." Waluigi's lips curled into a smile as the audience fell silent. Several toads stood up, astonished.
"Wait, Waluigi," one proclaimed. "You can't!"
"You don't know what you're messing with," another said. He seemed ready to rush the stage.
"Wah hahahahah," Waluigi wahed. "Nigger!"

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:11:01 2019 No.14198557 I could look at a woman's blue eyes for ages. Truly the sublime peak of beauty.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:17:23 2019 No.14198585 >>14198385 >ugly inside what do you mean?

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:17:55 2019 No.14198590
File: 20 KB, 480x360, Garota.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

John's face was always gloomy. When someone asked him a question, he would answer monosyllabically or pretend to be deaf. He'd never look into one's eyes, and his sweaty, limp hand felt like a sponge when he had to extend it to greet a new co-worker. His life was divided between his home and the office. He spent the weekends sitting on the old couch in front of the television, reading the late newspapers and drinking beer.
No one liked John except Martha, who thought he was a true gentleman. Finally, one day, he ended up inviting her to dinner. Marta blushed when she received the invitation, her heart pounding as she couldn't help but let out a shy smile from her lips. She swallowed and agreed day and time.

...

Two hours before the meeting, Marta took a long bath with scented salts and applied a hydrating mask on her face. She brushed her hair for a long time, but in the end decided to make a relaxed bun. She painted her eyes, stretched her lashes and intensified her lips with red lipstick, dressing in a tight skirt and a slightly transparent silk blouse that she had saved for a special occasion.
Inside the cab, on the way to the restaurant, Marta tried to straighten a strand of hair that kept peeling off her bun, running her fingers across the skirt whilst looking intermittently at her makeup mirror as to touch up the lipstick.
Suddenly, a block to the restaurant, a thought crossed her mind. What if John had only invited her to talk about work issues? As she got out of the cab, Marta used a shop window as a makeshift mirror only to ponder whether her skirt was too tight, or her shirt too transparent.

Did you like it so far, /lit/?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:19:00 2019 No.14198597 >>14195465 idk i haven't measured my weight in years but i'am not fat, why?

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:19:26 2019 No.14198599

>>14198525
Yeah exactly - the idea is that I would pursue my passion for phil or lit on the side and get some marketable skill while still playing to my strenghts - that is, being a "people person" and dreading living in a cubicle. Tbf I have to clarify that where I leave there is not much of a fragmentation at undergrad level - "econ" stands for finance, business, marketing, accounting etc., you mostly specialize postgrad

>>14198530
not really 100% free, just Europe prices - that is, like, couple of grands and nothing that can't be paid upfront or that needs a loan for.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:25:46 2019 No.14198637 My scalp/hair.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:31:47 2019 No.14198673 >>14198590 Not half bad.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 17:46:55 2019 No.14198784

I'm a woman gotta take pictures of my face constantly have to keep taking pictures with my face in them I have three different websites just to post pictures of me looking cute for my family friends and total strangers did you see me wearing this new clothing did you see me standing in front of this building one time I went to the library and just so you know that I went there I took fifteen pictures of myself standing next to it and looking cute haha look at this one it's of a burger I ate that I wanted to show everyone and also 80% of the frame is my face can you believe the cutesy affected expression I'm making don't I look cute when I'm doing absolutely everything that I ever do on a daily basis that I photograph myself doing have you seen these 214 pictures of me visiting Madrid for one day have you seen how I stood next to all the things and my face was there and I was cute hang on don't take a picture of me let me make sure I'm posing my facial muscles in a way that perfectly makes me look youthful and girlish and attractive in a series of gestures and expressions that are half-conscious because I'm a narcissist but also half-unconscious because I've simply introjected a constant need to be posing and preening and peacocking in every moment of my fucking life and everything I do is just a vehicle for appending my face to it because I'm a woman WOW excuse me are you misogynistic or something it's not like I do this for you are you kidding me you actually think that I spend all day every day every hour of my entire waking life specifically accentuating all the secondary sex characteristics you find attractive and posing my face to look cute and young for YOU are you delusional I do this for me and nobody else I just like to feel attractive nevermind the fact that attractive presupposes the question to whom I do it for me and nobody else now excuse me while I take a picture of myself factitiously soullessly smirking in a way that I've unconsciously learned makes me look Dorky-Cute Variant #81 while I try on sunglasses in a fucking Walmart.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 18:06:02 2019 No.14198879

John's face was always gloomy. When someone asked him a question, he would answer monosyllabically or pretend to be deaf. He'd never look into one's eyes, and his sweaty, limp hand felt like a sponge when he had to extend it to greet a new co-worker. His life was divided between his home and the office. He spent the weekends sitting on the old couch in front of the television, reading the late newspapers and drinking beer.
No one liked John except Martha, who thought he was a true gentleman. Finally, one day, he ended up inviting her to dinner. Marta blushed when she received the invitation, her heart pounding as she couldn't help but let out a shy smile from her lips. She swallowed and agreed day and time.

...

Two hours before the meeting, Marta took a long bath with scented salts and applied a hydrating mask on her face. She brushed her hair for a long time, but in the end decided to make a relaxed bun. She painted her eyes, stretched her lashes and intensified her lips with red lipstick, dressing in a tight skirt and a slightly transparent silk blouse that she had saved for a special occasion.
Inside the cab, on the way to the restaurant, Marta tried to straighten a strand of hair that kept peeling off her bun, running her fingers across the skirt whilst looking intermittently at her makeup mirror as to touch up the lipstick.
Suddenly, a block to the restaurant, a thought crossed her mind. What if John had only invited her to talk about work issues? As she got out of the cab, Marta used a shop window as a makeshift mirror only to ponder whether her skirt was too tight, or her shirt too transparent.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 18:07:11 2019 No.14198887 >>14198879 Sorry, it wasn't appearing here so a posted twice without knowing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 18:27:21 2019 No.14199008 >>14198585 >what do you mean I am aware enough to know all my emotions are ugly, and that, no matter how filled with longing I can be, this ugliness is a good indictment for most of my thoughts. It's not something I'm proud of, by any means

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 18:31:25 2019 No.14199038 >>14199008 how can emotions be ugly?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:39:04 2019 No.14199422 >>14195094 yeah, it's called being an awkward overly inhibited faggot

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:42:04 2019 No.14199439 The Republicans in the impeachment hearings have all replaced their American flag coat pins with presidential seal pins. Really makes you think. Shows you where their loyalties lie

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:43:04 2019 No.14199443

>go on wonderful date
>make out with the girl for 10 minutes at the end of the night firmly holding her close to me while we embrace
>a few days later she goes on big rant about not being emotionally ready for dating, parents mistreating her etc

Bros...Am i being put on the backburner? I've had this happen before, great dates, great physicality, then they have all these emotions apparently that pop up preventing them from going on further dates.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:46:02 2019 No.14199460 >>14199443 it means you should GTFO, damaged goods

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:47:08 2019 No.14199469 Need to work up courage to talk to person I find attractive.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:47:19 2019 No.14199470 >>14189847 Whats wrong in idolizing a better self imagery that people share? WHAT THE FUCK IS UR ARGUMENT NIGGER?

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:53:26 2019 No.14199527

I have a problem with my ego. Or, lack thereof. I'm not sure what the problem really is yet. Most of the time I feel like I'm developing a god complex, I think every one I talk to is helplessly drawn to me. It feels like every woman I speak to is so madly interested in me. I can feel their eyes piercing me when I'm not looking. Sometimes, most of the time, I think I'm the most attractive, well dressed, interesting person in the room. But I'm not - I'm fairly average, I'm not well read, rarely do i have anything of value to say at all. I realize that me having these thoughts for every person I meet means it's not them - it's me, my ego projecting itself onto other people. Is this a problem? Should I seek help? Is this just the essence of confidence? Why? I don't have any reason to feel this way, but I do.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:55:11 2019 No.14199542 >>14199460 Anon i believe everyone is damaged goods, we just handle it in different ways and some of us cope better. I'm not settling down dw.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:58:52 2019 No.14199561 >>14199527 Sounds to me either narcissistic personality disorder. Or perhaps hypomania. Do you also experience an energy boost when having these feelings of messianic superiority?

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:00:37 2019 No.14199571
File: 430 KB, 1316x1600, B455ED7B-5100-4512-B191-8A0E0731843A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Are there any examples of artistic feats that are meticulously crafted masterworks planned over multiple decades (or even over a lifetime) in elaboration? I’m thinking extremely maximalist works that leave people awestruck because of its totality, maybe even a something with a “life as art” proclamation...I’m curious

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:01:02 2019 No.14199575 >>14199469 Picture them taking a shit.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:01:46 2019 No.14199579 >>14199561 Yes, I would say I thrive off of these feelings.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:02:30 2019 No.14199586 >>14199527 Just lurk moar faggot, that you’ll get over that shit. Don’t think about paying some psychiatrist just so you’ll get your money jewed

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:03:00 2019 No.14199590 >>14199579 Do you have corresponding periods of persistent low moods, lethargy and depression?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:03:03 2019 No.14199591 >>14199571 Most cathedrals

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:04:28 2019 No.14199595 >>14199591 Rape

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:04:53 2019 No.14199599

>>14199586
What does lurking moar have to do with anything.

Anyway I'm not seeing anyone about this because as far as I'm concerned it's a nonissue. It's gotten me in bed with some beautiful women (out of my league?) and the confidence keeps me from fully realizing what a disaster my life has come to be.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:06:34 2019 No.14199608 >>14199590 Yes. Which are then instantly completely reversed the second I feel the slightest notion of affection.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:07:48 2019 No.14199617 >>14199443 i wouldn't read any more into this. it's a lot of work putting your best self on for others. appreciate that she's being honest and not going to fall apart on your in a big way a week later.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:08:13 2019 No.14199622 >>14199575 That's when a person is most vulnerable. I'm thinking about it and it's degrading yet mundane. Should I be disgusted or aroused?

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:08:28 2019 No.14199623

>>14199527
Actually is a good thing, anon, treat people like you're doing them a favor and they'll thank you eventually, even though you're just like them, don't get lost though, don't forget it isn't real or your ego will get the best of you, goodluck

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:10:44 2019 No.14199638

>>14199527
don't neuroticize or try to deconstruct feelings of empowerment like this. it seems you are self aware enough not to think you really are a god, so why take such a self-indicting view of it? if you feel good let yourself. these things don't stick around.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:10:45 2019 No.14199639

>>14199622
A true mack doesn't put the pussy on a pedestal. You have to see through attractive people to let yourself not be spellbinded by their beauty and seduce them properly. The point is to disengage with the trancelike power of their attractiveness and bring them back to earth.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:11:46 2019 No.14199647 >>14199608 I was thinking bipolar for a minute, but this sounds like NPD.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:18:46 2019 No.14199688
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kouros sat silently and then suddenly spoke: "douse". i followed orders and sprayed my neck twice. a sonoran desert toad croaked on the windowsill. "how'd you get here, bud?", i said. "eat it.", said kouros. i followed orders. i fell to my back, the ceiling tore asunder and slategray specks began to rain into my room. "they seek a new beginning.", said kouros. "they are seedstars, coming to unpack themselves. do not be afraid. come, and douse". i sprayed my wrists. "what do they want?", i ask. "they are post-larval. they've been here before, their mission is unknown." "they've been here you know?", kouros emphasized. "they've lived in rustic houses, around the rolling green hills and under the amber sun, sitting just above the horizon. these ancestors have vast tracks of land and have lived a life much like your own but sweeter and without pain. can you feel it?" i woke suddenly in my room drenched in sweat. "a bad dream is all.", i said to myself. i looked over and kouros was sitting silently on my dresser. i got up, opened the window and grabbed kouros about to lob it out. mid-heave i heard a hum and the bottle vibrated softly in my hand. that hum again, coming from the atomizer. i pressed it against my ear. "civilize the mind.", said kouros. "and make savage the body." before my eyes the bottle spun into a warm flare and vanished into a thin thread of white smoke.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:21:55 2019 No.14199712 >>14199639 Why can't I just blind myself and be done with it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:23:44 2019 No.14199725 File: 561 KB, 680x522, me.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] anisogamy is a fuck every time I see a girl of suitable age I can't think of anything except sex

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:29:29 2019 No.14199766

I wish I were a porcupine a porcupine so I could roll around on my back and impale all the little frogs and worms frogs and worms and wear them like bloody trophies in my conquest of dirt conquest of dirt and castles of sand ashes to ashes dust to dust consume the earth and my bones will rust

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 20:52:08 2019 No.14199902 does anyone here have misaligned eyes? I have questions (I'm serious)

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 21:16:10 2019 No.14200045 >>14199038 Not interested in semantics at the moment, friend. Take up the issue with somebody else

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 22:48:08 2019 No.14200619

>>14189847
I always saw people posting chad memes describing a chad as having positive emotional traits. That while he has the obviously well-built physique and good looks, he is not arrogant or self-serving, lives virtuously, contemplates worthwhile ideas, respects others, and is not tied to his base desires.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 23:09:53 2019 No.14200746

>>14190821
Very interesting. I never quite thought of it that way. So is his point, basically, that in order for us to, like he says, discover an ethical, sustainable, honorable human place in nature we first have to remove the idea that nature and civilization are separate things? It would seem that this separation stems from the idea that man is separate from nature when he is, in fact, a part of it. And once we properly understand that humans are a part of nature and, by extension, so are the communities that we build, we can then properly integrate nature and civilization into a sustainable whole.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 23:11:05 2019 No.14200759
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i had a torrent of thoughts running through my head last night. the words just kept flowing. and halfway through my semi-coherent thoughts i paused and said to myself:
>you should get up and write this down before you lose this moment. it may be messy, but you can clean it up after.
but i never did. and the next thing i know its 7 am.

and now the lingering feelings taunt me. i try to write, but nothing but fragmented pitter patter pieces make it to the page.

Anonymous Tue Nov 19 23:23:10 2019 No.14200825

Because I'm such a failure at my one and only goal of finding love, and being that I only love one person, all I can do is create characters in my mind to live vicariously through. Characters that embody my inner, rather than my outer self. I don't really identify with my outer self, in fact sometimes my body feels utterly alien to my mind. In reality, I'm a strange, timid man who has few interests and no purpose in life. And so I create characters that embody what I am in the confines of my mind, an interesting man with some social rank who, while eccentric, is eccentric in that way which draws people in. And, most importantly can inspire feelings of passion in the woman that I love. I weave all kinds of stories in which these characters, who represent my internal soul meet her, and there is nothing particular devious in these fantasies, no sexual content or other, merely courtship. I go to sleep at night and dream of her, the dreams of she and I planning our wedding and life together, and then I wake up in the morning and realize it is not so, and thus I despair.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 23:47:01 2019 No.14200979 File: 110 KB, 1024x718, 1505843037361.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Jesus rules

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 00:00:13 2019 No.14201046 and a cold wind blows

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 00:02:54 2019 No.14201061
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Cooming, cooming cooming. Can't stop cooming, want to stop cooming, won't stop cooming. Want to nofap hard, exercise every day, increase my willpower, cease internet usage and read every day. Can't won't. Porn porn porn. Coom coom coom.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 00:08:15 2019 No.14201089 >>14189752 i like it, very heartland, very now.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 00:12:43 2019 No.14201118 I want a friend who isn’t a shitty existence

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 00:40:29 2019 No.14201283

>>14200746
Yes, I think that's a good summary of Cronon's point. He never offers a specific program of environmental reform in that essay, but I get the sense he's in favor of permaculture and a shift to a more agrarian society in general. Unfortunately, barring some kind of apocalyptic event I don't see how this could realistically happen in North America.
You should definitely read the entire essay if you're interested, it's freely available online. Cronon's also written some very interesting-sounding environmental histories of the US, which I've been meaning to read for a while.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:36:02 2019 No.14201675 how do you cope with the fact that you will never be good anons

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:41:10 2019 No.14201691
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I Am Not Here
John is here.
John sits at a table. His posture is rigid as his eyes peer down at the ceramic mug placed before
him. The steamy vapor rising faintly from within alerts him to the fact that the coffee is still a bit
too hot to drink safely. Even so, he hesitantly draws his right hand nearer to it. The action feels
too deliberate, tan skin gliding smoothly over the satin white surface of the table.
White. John is surrounded by white noise.
“I dunno, what do you think John?”
The voice is female. It comes from John’s right. He turns, and the mug ceases to exist. An oval-face woman with lush black hair smiles at him, brilliant white shining as her eyes glitter darkly
under dim orange light. She’s dressed nicely.
“What do I think of what, Johanne?” John asks. Sandpaper against cotton white.
Johanne smiles wider, impossibly so it seems, and laughs. The sound is low, rich in timber.
“Ground control to major John, eh?”. She raises a slim glass filled with an unknown liquid to her
lips, as the rumble of laughter engulfs the rest of John’s world.
White noise.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:45:27 2019 No.14201711

>>14200746
Surely there is middle ground that we can figure out. Can't we take into consideration the fact that we are all animals into consideration?
People seems to think that we are beyond mother nature; that we have full control of ourselves and our future.
I have been reading some Malcolm Gladwell and Jonathan Haidt lately, and realized how much of our subconscious does the majority of the work.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:49:45 2019 No.14201731 >>14198599 econ sounds pretty comfy as a hobby not sure if i consider a career in it tho, it doesn't pay and unless you are a mathematician, i have no idea what you are doing....surveys?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:57:28 2019 No.14201753 >>14197916 Not really

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 03:37:17 2019 No.14201888
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Chinese paranoia is the new Russian paranoia. The Hong Kong uprising was US funded to set up a "Good Chinese" client state as a pocket of moral sympathy against the "Bad Chinese" so US leftists and liberals will not feel overwhelmingly racist or unjustified when their government sends them to pre-emptive war with China.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 03:41:38 2019 No.14201901 >>14199902 Eyes at different heights or crosseyed?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:13:55 2019 No.14201991 File: 132 KB, 540x720, file.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14200619 This is fairly recent Imo, it used to be villified

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:19:01 2019 No.14201997 >>14201991 Because it used to be the Dudebro villain of your life and now he is your goalsMAX.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:27:43 2019 No.14202015

>>14201901
either! what are some rule of thumbs I could use when talking to people with these conditions? I feel like when I look them in the eye they use to look at me, it's not comfortable for them. should I look them directly in one of the eyes or in the nose, like it's done to other people?

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:37:06 2019 No.14202034
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i can't explain to myself why watching a girl create a cutesy pop journal page about watching Joker (and liking it) in pastel tones and girly decorations is so pleasant and mind-calming
https://youtu.be/kw-S5OwvMgg

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:43:19 2019 No.14202047 >>14202034 the only thing that makes me cringe is tearing book pages off, i have a retarded level of respect for objects that symbolize knowledge or culture

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:48:07 2019 No.14202057 >>14202034 That's unironically a work of art but watching this stuff is how you end up a tranny

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:51:10 2019 No.14202066 File: 135 KB, 767x1066, Most+punchable+face+ever+_a01fa6605c379a9151e59b6c79d7655b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14202034 >cutesy >pop >journal absolutely soulless and hiveminded

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:52:24 2019 No.14202069 >>14202034 girls are so cringe

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:52:38 2019 No.14202070 File: 115 KB, 648x720, 1562203468925.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14202057 i binge-watch those journal chicks sometimes because i like making parody pages with cutouts from newspapers littering my flat

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:55:48 2019 No.14202075
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>>14202066
it does look soulless and performative as fuck, spending ridiculous effort and loads of stationary on a single page and writing to make it look good, not to reflect yourself.
but it's interesting to watch so doesnt matter

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 04:58:31 2019 No.14202079 >>14202075 you disgust me

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:00:13 2019 No.14202084 >>14202079 what's bad about watching it? it's not like i send her money to directly support splurging on useless stickers that say "monday"

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:02:53 2019 No.14202095

>>14202075
>interesting to watch
>so doesn't matter
really? it doesn't fucking matter? Do you enjoy it? Do you enjoy it as much as you would enjoy watching the mother of your children creating a photography album of memories? Or creating a christmas sweater? Because that's your desire. And what you're doing in front of your screen is the equivalent of porn, but for joys of having a family. now get out there and get the real deal. not some virtual reality. get. the. real. deal!

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:06:36 2019 No.14202102 >>14202095 > watching the mother of your children > Because that's your desire fuck off, биoпpoблeмник, if i wanted to multiply the amount of schizos on this earth i'd look in the mirror

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:09:20 2019 No.14202109 >>14202095 also, saying someone desires a family because he watches lighthearted art videos is like the lefties saying a kid wants to chop his dick off because he sniffed a flower

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:16:28 2019 No.14202132 >>14202095 good point & post

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:44:44 2019 No.14202189

So it seems like the easiest kind of novel to write is a big complex postmodern one because it just means mashing all your unfinished projects together and have a "large cast and nonlinear plot line". But is this gimmick old? Did DFW kill it? Do people see through this now?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:45:48 2019 No.14202194 >>14202102 >if i wanted to multiply the amount of schizos on this earth i'd look in the mirror based douglas coupland dialogue

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 05:52:35 2019 No.14202211 >>14202109 you're lying to yourself if you think your desire to spend time watching certain content isn't a reflection of deeper desires that you have suppressed

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 06:04:06 2019 No.14202240 >>14202211 don't care, didn't ask plus you're a paternalistic retard

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 06:12:25 2019 No.14202266

I made a mistake, I think. Yet here I am, doing everything I can to stick with my horrible choice. Nothing new, as is with things, desiring nothing more than to find new opportunities to make myself suffer on a daily basis. Perhaps in a few weeks it won't sting as much, and isolation will fill in the gaps, the absence of what used to bring a smile on my face in the strangest of ways. Perhaps in a few months, just perhaps, a desperate hope, that I'll become more numb to my own feelings. It's for the best, after all, to stick with my own mistakes, to the things said. At least I'll finally be able to follow through with something in my miserable life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 06:17:51 2019 No.14202275 >>14202240 I don't care that you didn't ask, bite me faggot

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 06:36:22 2019 No.14202319

When I think of my actions and behaviours, it feels as though it's not 'me' who had decided them. I exist contextually, I can see my fear, love, anxieties, hatred as one watches a movie unfold before them: out of reach, and beyond control. Or perhaps it's better to say a dream, where if I were to try manifest my will it all slips away into consciousness, so I choose not to will, as to prolong the dream. I find myself in this waking dream, too afraid to shatter it's reality even though I know it wont break.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 06:52:38 2019 No.14202357 >tfw no flat chested goth gf

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 08:25:21 2019 No.14202672 Why are some people creative and others not? Is it genetic combination?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 08:36:56 2019 No.14202716 >>14202672 i think most not outright mentally retatarded people are born with some creativity, but it gets suppressed in little children, sometimes totally

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 08:57:38 2019 No.14202771 >>14202716 I mean about almost genius level creativity.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 09:08:44 2019 No.14202812 >>14202672 Who the fuck knows why anything is any particular way

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 09:08:49 2019 No.14202814
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>>14202771
>"it is but one step between the sublime and the absurd"
>some dead Frenchman who, just years ago had conquered all of Europe, was now dragging his tattered army from the winters of Russia

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 09:09:51 2019 No.14202819 >>14202771 then probably genetic, a rare deviation from average

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 09:55:09 2019 No.14203025 >>14202819 thanks God for making me average

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 10:34:32 2019 No.14203178 >>14194623 Baste.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 10:43:04 2019 No.14203214 Are all men obsessed with women or sex or is it only shut-in incels?

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 10:52:12 2019 No.14203239
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>>14203214
>"everything in the world is about sex..."
>dead fag that would have a field day with Twitter

there have been anecdotal self-reports (aka, bad sample size and possible biases) of FtM trans where upon one of their first "surprises" was what testosterone does to their body:
>im horny, like, all the time
>adult males have 7-8 times the amount of test than whamen
>myriad of steroid user reports about becoming (and how to handle) the increased libido (although someone who would use steroids for bodybuilding purposes may already have a predisposition to wanting/having more intercourse)

so long story short, yes. all men are obsessed with secks. like everything in life, it's a sliding scale. and while its the general rule, there will always be exceptions
>t. me, cultivating my virgin powers to master the secret arts of the Descending Dragon 18 Hands

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 10:54:33 2019 No.14203247 >>14203239 + actually a less-literal but more aptly captures the meaning translation would be >Subduing Dragon 18 Hands

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 11:03:22 2019 No.14203270
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>>14203239
So all of this womenposting is just men trying to cope with their horny self? I must stop browsing this site, it's turning me into a misandrist. Good luck with your wizardry training, at any rate. Resist the temptation and it will come to you.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 11:05:33 2019 No.14203279 >>14203239 you're not a virgin faggot, what the fuck are you talking about. I recognize you. or are you?

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 11:13:50 2019 No.14203304

>r/writing is all babby's first fan fiction
>/lit/ is all european boomers reading philosophy
>the literature scene is occupied by sadofascists who want to erase the English language
>publishers are slaves to the MFA mill
>every writing event has sad talentless puffballs talking about how they "won the lottery" getting published
>no one in my social life has anything to do with writing and can at best just offer blank encouragement

No comment beyond that I suppose. The greentext is what's on my mind.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 11:31:29 2019 No.14203387 >>14203304 hardships shape great authors, but they're only recognized later

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 13:34:55 2019 No.14204092 were there any authors who had much better unreleased works than released ones?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 13:38:45 2019 No.14204115 >>14197615 Another dream last night. The woman I have a crush on from work was in it. Even in the dream I couldn’t talk to her. Even when I became aware that I was dreaming, I couldn’t approach her.

>>	caesarwashere Wed Nov 20 14:01:16 2019 No.14204256 I really should just be myself. Also, icfI had any money, I would just 2/7chan, an imageboard that is only online in the weekends.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 14:11:25 2019 No.14204319 >>14202070 kek got more?

>>	« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE Wed Nov 20 14:25:32 2019 No.14204409 >>14194578 ...rejected your stares with revulsion at your swastika armband >>14203214 The young. It’s a big part of life and some people get obsessed with it. It dos fade with age.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 15:44:09 2019 No.14204937 File: 142 KB, 679x720, 1562230138952.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14204319

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 15:57:48 2019 No.14205016
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My ex once wanted to fight because I used second person "we" when asking what her plans were for the day. Supposedly it was first because she thought I meant it in the more common first person sense, and it made her angry because she "didn't know what my plans were". Then, after I explained it, she changed her reasoning to be because I was "excluding myself". I never even engaged in the fight, and simply flanked her angry rhetoric, fundamentally subverting every misconstrued frustration. Every time something was reframed in a way she couldn't argue against, her mood instantly changed to calm acceptance. Yet even after she was fully agreeing that getting upset about it was silly, she was still upset yet had no ability to express it.

I contemplated the implications, and spent a fair amount of time grappling with the full context of the relationship. In that moment, I attained extreme clarity and decided that the relationship was not sustainable. It's not even truthfully the fighting that I hated, it was that she was incapable of dropping things. It had cost a lot of energy to facilitate her inability to resolve her own feelings, and I'm not exactly a high energy person to begin with. I don't hold any resentment, she had just come out of an abusive relationship, I fully expected the affair to be unpleasant. I am now beginning to slowly climb out of the dreadful malaise that found me after the breakup, but I need to find a new social outlet before I backslide into a low mood. The breakup left me somewhat isolated, as she was one of the only people I talked to frequently.

I hope that by writing this out, I will feel an obligation to fill that social void before it fills me.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 16:08:04 2019 No.14205074
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>>14205016
we will never know what would have been the best course of action, but your decision was respectable
you can come away with a couple possibilities:
1) immature person who kept finding a reason to fight
>shit testing
2) person looking for a reason to burn it all to the ground
>"i didnt want to break up with him, but like, he overreacted to this little misunderstanding! im so torn up! but we have to move on, plus Joe just texted me for brunch."

look, when a child acts out what can you do once youve exhausted civil discussion? unfasten the belt and beat the ever living shit out of the kid
but we arent allowed in this day and age to beat the whamen. i dunno, something about modern progress. probably the same reason we cant own people or gas the Juden anymore
all you can is draw the line, put your foot down, and stand firm regardless of the fallout

best of luck. head to /fit for more info about resolving your pent up "mood" in a healthy way. unless youre a manlet. or if you dont like the penor.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 16:40:16 2019 No.14205288

>>14189728
I feel really good and motivated after a long time, might be the nofap magic, might be the excercise and fulfilment from studying on my uni, who knows. I might even get back to writing my long going novel. I should start keeping a diary now that I think about it. Anybody else feels /comfy/ with their lives atm?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:00:57 2019 No.14205412 considering dry fast for a day of two.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:17:19 2019 No.14205496 >>14201731 I don't know, I've looked at jobs postings at my uni and they're either looking for people with scientific/engineering backgrounds or economic/statistical. Business analyst, financial consultant etc.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:24:53 2019 No.14205550 File: 13 KB, 320x249, 5C05175F-A31D-4B77-A721-1345892264E4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Why shouldn't I masturbate to porn? Where is the actual concrete argument?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:28:13 2019 No.14205569 >>14202672 everything is a mix of both nature and nurture my friend

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:38:52 2019 No.14205641

I wanna try LSD but there's some work that needs to be done to get it, however there's this new chemical LSD-similiar one that i can buy out in the open and is said to be as good, or close enought to the real deal. But newe things are untested, but its supposted to be good and i can have it on my tounge in matter of days.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:46:31 2019 No.14205682 >>14205569 But maybe i have very little talent and its pointless to try

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:49:55 2019 No.14205703 Lucifer is the protagonist of Paradise Lost.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:54:39 2019 No.14205735 >>14205703 Duh.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:56:02 2019 No.14205747 >>14205550 Because you could be masturbating your penis into a vagina instead.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 17:59:40 2019 No.14205759
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I can't get over this girl. I feel like I had a chance and blew it somehow. I know I need to move on but I just can't. I don't even know what I like about her anymore, I'm just obsessed.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:08:55 2019 No.14205822
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My old girlfriend from highschool had a bad break-up with her boyfriend a few months ago. We have been in contact sparsely over the past 6 years (we're 26 now). She messaged me on my birthday wishing me a good day. We got to talking back and forth for a couple weeks. We were reminiscing a lot about the time we had spent together trying to figure out why we had broke it off. I had been the one originally to break it off but I always thought it was a mistake after the years went on. Remembering how good she was to me I asked her if she would ever want to get back together. She said she wasn't opposed to it, that she liked me. We continued to chat and send snapchats. Eventually I made a trip up to see her finally after so long. We connected instantly . She assured me that she might not be ready for a relationship , I said that was fine because im in no rush. We had some beers with her roomate in her kitchen apartment and then went to bed. We slept beside eachother but we never had sex. The next day we loafed around, got some groceries and made some HodgePodge (an Eastern Canadian classic) because it was cold out. It was another really nice day spent together. That night we went to a bar and danced. We danced and danced and danced. If you tried you could't wipe the smile from either our faces. We had sex that night.
Sunday rolled around . We went for a walk in the woods with her dog, an australian shepard. We talked to strangers and examined the old growth trees. We were a bit hungover so we watched a movie together on the couch before it was time for me to go home. We embraced once more and she made sure I had my share of the groceries we had bought. It was really nice to see her and she was glad to have seen me aswell, we set a date for next weekend.
It was a long week of work but I asked my boss to leave early because I had a hot date. She had some work in my area so she was already in town . I picked her up at 6PM and dropped her off at 3AM. We caught a movie then had a drink at some greasy bar. We talked and talked and laughed and laughed. As I drove her home from town it started to snow, snow hard I couldnt see a foot in front of me but I didn't mind driving slow. I have a bench seat in my truck so she slid over and let me put my arm around her. I was still driving but I started to kiss her. She laughed because she could see I was all over the road. Once we got further out of town, into the woods I pulled over and we made out. The snow was coming down so hard but it wasnt windy at all. We had sex in my truck .
As we were embracing though her phone rang, it was her ex. she ignored it and we kept at it. it rang again. and again. and again. She ignored every call. I drove her back to her mom's house where she was staying. The snow was really bad , she asked me to stay if I wanted and Id leave in the morning. I promised to drive slow and let her know as soon as I got home. I walked her down the driveway and we said goodbye.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:11:41 2019 No.14205839
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>>14205822
I got home safe and sound. She messaged me goodnight and I passed out on my couch. I woke up to some more messages from her as she was in the midst of an anxiety attack. She told me things were moving too fast and that she still had feelings for her boyfriend. She broke it off.
She was right there. I could have reached out and touched her. I should have stayed the night.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:14:35 2019 No.14205860 File: 138 KB, 500x496, EDF7262A-05EF-4880-8A07-B1F6CABED9DC.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14205822 just ficking kill me and fuck my shit up f am. I'm never gonna get something like this because I'm a fucking loser like >>14205759

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:17:48 2019 No.14205880 Any military anons on /lit/?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:23:34 2019 No.14205917 >>14205550 It's bad. Use your imagination instead.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:28:00 2019 No.14205935 i was disgusting in my teens and i masturbated 2-4 times a day i can only think what if i wasnt disgusting and i had a girl as horny as me? the fun we could have had back then

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:34:44 2019 No.14205979 >>14205880 Uh, yeah? Sup?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:35:09 2019 No.14205981 >>14205935 You know what hurts the most? That even if i manage to unfuck my life, i'll relive the past and get a teen-early 20's gf. The time has passed forever and its never coming back again.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:36:06 2019 No.14205988 >I have to wake up tomorrow for another day. Very disconcerting.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:36:52 2019 No.14205991

I feel so empty inside, like I have no personality, or at least am incapable of showing it. I don't experience much in the way of pleasure, I haven't enjoyed anything in a very long time, perhaps several years even. I have interests, but these invariably only exist to provide an escape from the emptiness of my mind, whether that be in knowledge, or to use them as proxies for myself in fantasy. I can sometimes appear spontaneous in the company of a few, but my strange interests and inability to express emotion have hindered me greatly, and even with people I'm familiar with, there is usually a great deal of silence, and sometimes they even tell me that they aren't sure if I'm feeling any emotions. It feels so terrible virtually all the time, like I have nothing. Even in my fantasies, I am rejected by those I love. To occasionally try to overcome this, I fantasize about allowing an "inner-self" to come out of its dark hole deep in my mind, where its flamboyance and eloquence can change people's perception of me, but I can never express myself properly, and so everyone things I'm cold and aloof when really I'm desperate to have someone to give affection to. Inside, I have a deep love for my only friend, but I cannot express this without pushing her away, and it is maddening.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:39:01 2019 No.14206003 >>14205981 well if you unfuck yuor life you can still get early 20s gf

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:40:57 2019 No.14206011 >>14205981 why does that hurt the most?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:42:11 2019 No.14206018 >>14205979 How is the military treating you? I’m considering joining up myself.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:49:41 2019 No.14206065
File: 31 KB, 509x625, 1574090647205.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I hate studying at uni so damn much. Parents make a deal with me that I should study on this program and they will pay for me. Now it is 3 year(2.5 year until graduation) and I am about to lose my mind because I lose an ability to force myself to learn my major (it is VERY time consuming so I don't have free time basically at all; and also no time to properly sleep.)
I just want to read books, lift weights, sleep at least 7 hours a day and work comfy job
I am in a mental cage and unable to learn anymore

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:03:21 2019 No.14206147 >>14206065 So, we’re clear on what you want to do, but what do you think you need to do, anon?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:04:23 2019 No.14206153 >>14189728 hhhhhhhhhhhhhhghergh Do you hate me?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:12:33 2019 No.14206185 >>14205991 See a therapist. Its not healthy living as a walking husk.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:18:31 2019 No.14206213

>>14189728
I'm stuck. This is embarrassing. Okay:

The decision to live is deeply cruel and selfish. Every human being is a fountain of misery. Everything we buy is from exploited labor from the materials, to assembly, to transport. The food we eat is cruel, not just to the animals or the laborers, but to the soil. Everything you eat is born from rot and decay. It's the cycle of life, and you can put lipstick on it but it's still a big corpse. We're born without our consent and we live without our consent.

What I'm saying is that life is bad, y'all. To choose to live, or to even let others live, is awfully mean. We're moral animals, and I think as thinking things we're burdened with awareness. I can't block this out, and I need to stop thinking like this. It's turning me into an alcoholic.

I hate people. I just see meat, and shit, and pus and blood and teeth and hair and it's disgusting. I grit my teeth and smile at people and I'm really fucking trying. I know this comes off as edgy childish and overly sincere but I'm struggling hardcore here. I've been drinking and cutting myself and closing my eyes on empty roads because I can't work up the will to do the decent thing and kill myself. I don't want to die, and I'm really afraid. I'm really fucking afraid.

I've been plotting out my suicide, and I have the money for it but I feel like I'm just waiting for my life to get bad enough that I can finally kill myself. I'm really really really really really afraid. I cut myself deep enough to see fat last week and it took thirty minutes to stem the bleeding. I think I'm going to actually kill myself in the space of next year and I don't know what to do. I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow but I don't know how much she'll be able to help. I'm really fucking afraid. I don't have any friends.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:21:57 2019 No.14206230 >>14206185 I'm seeing a therapist, it doesn't help, my last one even told me that he didn't think anything would help.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:25:12 2019 No.14206245 Speaking with subtext to a woman is so debasing. There is a beautiful woman at work who I’d love to talk to, but the very idea pains me. I’m thinking of just giving up and telling her coworker that I think she is beautiful and hope she passes it on.

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:32:41 2019 No.14206282

>>14206147
I need to step over myself and finish this degree because I can't see happy future for myself if i drop out
And this is sad because I have no choice. I skipped last 3 weeks of classes because I had to finish with a lot of deadlines. However, this poor attendance can play a role so I wouldn't pass exams.
So, I need to find a power to learn really big amount of material and also attend all classes this month. This is kinda depressing

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:36:08 2019 No.14206301 >>14206065 calm down pajeet you will be a rich doctor and hav all the posi you want one day

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:55:11 2019 No.14206381

I notice that off topic threads on this board tend to be pruned and deleted soon after I post on them. The mods are reading me closely. I'm too hard hitting. It's almost as if gestapo-like, they don't want certain things out of there.
Call me paranoid. I know I'm not. I would not get paranoid over such trivial things. Freud believed that all psychoses had a narcissistic element, whether schizophrenic, paranoiac, manic; that they all centered on an ego-obession and inflation of one's worldly importance. The CIA is after you. The voices in your head are demons that have singled you out for your delectable sins. The person on the street who laughed is laughing at you, you sucky goof. You have it figured out but the world persecutes you. And on it goes.

In this case I know for a fact that I'm implicated in getting these threads shut down. Because what I write is too cutting. It's not just that they are off-topic, because the mods will tolerate anything off-topic so long as there is some loosely tangential connection to literature. Or a strong connection to their biases.

As they say

Ahem,

I have an announcement to make

Fuck janniess...

Fuck...mods....

Fuck...

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 20:09:06 2019 No.14206436 >>14191894 Imagine being a living person walking around everyday and believing this. Holy fuck you absolute retard holy shit lmao

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 20:11:53 2019 No.14206445 >>14190065 The mysteries of life cannot be unraveled through reading alone anon, you have to get out into the world too

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 21:09:35 2019 No.14206724 >>14206065 drop out and enlist like Chad would

Anonymous Wed Nov 20 21:16:37 2019 No.14206751

>>14190812
>>14190821
Thanks for posting this. I work as an outdoor educator and wilderness therapist, and this concept he points out about the illusory separation of man and nature is something I try to drill into my students and patients. We fully acknowledge when we are out there, that we are only able to sustain ourselves in the desert because of the body’s trial society that made it possible. I do believe however that the untouched world where modern people do not dwell can be a healing thing. It does not care for human beings and it can teach personal responsibility and give someone in acute crisis a moment to step back and gather themselves, evaluate their life from an outside perspective, and equip them with the right tools so to speak to re-enter society. The application of this outdoor therapeutic method as the essay says, is not to forget and escape the modern world, but to equip us better for it. The simplicity of this I believe, can often boil down to a reduction in stimuli, exposure to noise, and electronic devices, and artificial light, as well as the re-naturalization of rising and falling with the sun. It’s incredible how a mentally Ill person can I wither without these pressures. Wilderness is a tricky concept, but the universal and nameless thing that we often mistake for wilderness does hold some merit, I believe.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 22:00:01 2019 No.14206947 Is it just me or does Dante come off as autistic?

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 21 00:42:48 2019 No.14207491 >>14207488 >>14207488 >>14207488

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/lit/ - Literature