How to improve dialog when you're a hermit

[Anonymous No.14134223]

>writing story
>cant into dialog
>because no friends

FUCK

[Anonymous No.14134233]

>>14134223
Just study how other people write dialog

[Anonymous No.14134236]

>>14134223
Christ, you can't even greentext well.

[Anonymous No.14134243]

>>14134223
just change your story to a schizo talking to himself
now write your autobiography
problem solved

[Anonymous No.14134254]

>>14134243
glow harder

Im trying to have fun here and enjoy my hobby of writing and im expanding my horizons.

[Anonymous No.14134286]

>>14134254
and im just a shitposter being a dick
>why so serious

[Anonymous No.14134301]

find groups dedicated to your hobbies. you should be able to meet people and have a good enough conversation topic that they won't find out how much of a loner you are, listen to how normal people talk to you and to each other.

[Anonymous No.14134316]

>>14134233
I know how dialog works, but im just a boring person. I cant imagine what people would actually say.

>>14134301
Im really bad at conversing. Im better with strangers, but having a legit conversation about something that im interested in isnt something im good at. I just like to enjoy it without talking about it.

>>14134286
cuz im schizo, obviously.

[Anonymous No.14134334]

This is a definite problem in writing. Every story I write ends up reminding me I am a lonely friendless virgin.

[Anonymous No.14134391]

>>14134334
Does that keep you from finishing your stories? This is the first story that im writing. Ive started other ones but I just never worked on them. I have ea lot of ideas, but no motivation to follow through.

[Anonymous No.14134403]

>>14134286
your honesty is admirable, anon :D

[Anonymous No.14134407]

You fuckers need to go out more often. You don't even have to "make friends," you just need to be out and about in public where people are talking. Go to the park. Go to the mall. Go to the lobby of a hotel. Go to a bar and have a drink. Whenever you're in the midst of people talking, and you do some talking yourself, you'll absorb the nature of dialogue almost by osmosis.

I know this is true because it happened to me. I wanted to improve my dialogue so I switched from being a shut-in to going out more often. Not only did my characters' dialogue actually improve, my overall life improved, as well. It's entirely possible.

[Anonymous No.14134427]

>>14134223
>trying this hard to be someone else
there's a reason why most writers write dialogue of some sort, and it's not because conversation is a foreign concept to them that they finally managed to understand after years of struggle.
you might do better trying to write a story that ends up showing other people what it's like being a socially isolated "schizo", as you call yourself.

[Anonymous No.14134475]

>>14134223
Just watch movies and read screenplays. Also, reading your dialogue aloud helps.

[Anonymous No.14134479]

>>14134427
>showing other people what it's like being a socially isolated "schizo"
I tried writing a story like that once. It didnt work. But no, legit I am schizo. schizotypal. hell, my doctor wont reevaluate me for anything else. For all I know I could be full blown schizophrenic. But it DOES make it harder to write something when you're legit mentally ill. Im trying to have fun and enjoy myself. And I really am.

I dont understand what you mean about conversation being a foreign concept to actual writers. They DO write dialog to perpetuate their stories. Does it not take practice?

>>14134407
I go outside sometimes. Im just not good at talking to people. I try though.

>>14134475
Yes reading it out loud does help. I can really feel what my characters are trying to convey.

[Anonymous No.14134496]

>>14134479
just make all your characters a little bonkers
then theres an understandable reason why your dialogue reeks of "a little off"

>setting: the short bus
>characters: kid who drools, kid who slurps that kids drool, you eating glue

[Anonymous No.14134533]

who the fuck writes stories with dialog when they could have been talking to friends?

[Anonymous No.14134560]

>>14134223
The author must let the writer do his job. The author creates a world, but it is the writer who uncovers the story.
Dialog is the writer's job in that sense. You must let the conversation unfold on its own. Let the characters decide what they will say.

[Anonymous No.14134572]

>>14134560
>Let the characters decide what they will say
This is what i've been working toward, without even realizing it. You just put it into words.
great advice anon, legit.

[Anonymous No.14134574]

Go to a cafe or bar and just eavesdrop on conversations, this shit ain't hard.

[Anonymous No.14134632]

>>14134391
The more you write the more your own shortcomings reflect back to you.

[Anonymous No.14134686]

I cuddled up to her and gave her a real good kiss. I lifted up her shirt all the way to her nose so I could only see her mouth and kissed her deeply again. I got her shirt off and then sat up and grabbed her ankles and pulled her across the couch. Then I pulled her sweatpants right off of her in a single motion. I put my face on her knees and kissed her all the way up her thighs and to her bellybutton. I kissed her belly and worked my way up to her lips, while squeezing her breasts. I reached down and rubbed her clit, she was nice and wet and I was hard. I put my hand on the back of her head so it didn't bang on the arm of the couch and went wild. I had her in missionary, she wanted to sit on my lap. She was bouncing up and down on my dick, it felt so good. This is how things are at the end of the day. I'm doing alright.

does this sound like a good description of a sex scene?

[Anonymous No.14134754]

>>14134223
just change your story so that all of the interaction between the characters takes place via an anime imageboard.

[Anonymous No.14134798]

>>14134686
why are you listing every single minute detail to the point that it bogs down the paragraph
gonna keep it real, this is extremely garbage of a sex scene, and i kinda know because despite having a penis, i spend some of my time reading erotica and smut

you need to read more written porn
who is your audience? men? then you have more leeway in describing the nitty gritty physical details

if its whamen, its less about throbbing penises going in and out a vagina, and more about the buildup, and the atmosphere.
>a man breaking taboo because he cant help but have her
is what whamen who are into that stuff find hot
>throbbing 7 inch penis so godamn masculine its got abs
is what whamen could give less of a shit about

[Anonymous No.14134848]

>>14134798
>more about the buildup, and the atmosphere.
Thats what I was trying to do. Thats why at the end I said "went wild" instead of describing the actual sex.

my audience is likely men however.
Quick write a sex scene for me.
thanks for the honesty. I dont need a pat on the back lol

[Anonymous No.14134916]

>>14134848
first and foremost, im like a shitty food critic. i can tell when what im eating is trash, but i wouldnt be able to tell you whats the secret to making a tasty meal

its more about the emotions and atmosphere
>he kissed her lips while sliding off her shorts
vs
>he ripped her panties off because he couldnt wait a moment longer

>he leaned in and kissed her
vs
>he pushed her against the wall, cornering her in with his arms. kissing her like he was gasping for air, he leaned his body into her so she couldnt refuse. he needed to have her.

here is some garbage "intro" i wrote a while ago
its bad, but maybe itll help

[1/2]
It was wrong.

>This is clearly wrong.
But he couldn’t walk away. Her cries continued to draw him in. He inched his way toward her room, briefly feeling out the wall so that he wouldn’t trip. His eyes had begun to adjust to the darkness and about five feet from him he spotted her doorknob. He was close.
>So close.
He desperately wanted to hear the sounds more clearly.

He heard a creak escape from the floorboard as he gently stepped forward. It was almost like a splash of cold water.
>Almost.
For a brief moment, calmer senses took over him.
>Surely that must be a sign from God. I should go back.
He paused. He could still hear her.
>Looks like she didn’t notice.
With both palms on the wall, he twisted his body in an effort to turn back, only to hit an unexpected obstacle. He glanced down to adjust the bulging obelisk so clearly hoisted for her.

Her moans grew louder, picking up in fervor. Unconsciously, he began to massage the contours of his underwear. Each moan only furthered the rampant activity and vitality of his uncontrollable hormones. Before he knew it, he had slipped his hands under his waistline. He wasn’t quite sure what took over him. All that he knew was that he wanted to get closer, like moth to a flame. Each step increased the acuity of her calls. It beckoned him like a siren, pleading him to come closer, ever closer, until finally he was mere inches away from the hinges of her door.

Unconsciously, his hand had already picked up a steady motion, and by now was revving with intensity. His grip tightened as he tried to lengthen his strokes, but the folds of his underwear obstructed his movements. His body dangerously wanted to break free, and so with his other hand, he pulled his boxer briefs down. He closed his eyes, trying so hard to concentrate on the consonance and dissonance of the ballad slipping through the cracks of her door that he didn’t notice the gust of wind. The knob’s latch slid out of its socket, and the door slowly opened.

[Anonymous No.14134925]

>>14134848
>>14134916
[2/2]
He paused.

She paused.

He tried to hold his breath, or at least calm down the panting, but by now his body was hot and flustered.
>What if she…
He heard a ruffle, followed by a momentary silence, and then the slipping and gyrating of moist, slick fingers. The tight, slick opening of the door was a just large enough that he could now hear her reckless breathing. Without realizing it, he began to time his strokes with her rhythm. The noises grew louder. His pace grew faster. And then he heard the first intelligible sounds since he had embarked on this voyeuristic mission.
>Oh daddy.

He erupted with an intensity he had never felt before, involuntarily leaning against the wall as he felt the unstoppable wave of liberation wash over his body. He let out a satisfactory sigh that came out a little louder than he anticipated. And just like that, he was left with the aftermath. He stepped out of his underwear, hastily wiped up whatever remnants he could identify on the wall, and slowly retreated, praying that his covert actions would be go unnoticed under the cover of night.

She finished, and then slowly climbed out of bed, tip-toeing toward the door. She stuck her head out, and after confirming that no one was there, ventured out to get a better look. Her big toe had stepped into something. Leaning against the door, she propped her foot up and inspected the drop of residue. She felt it with her fingertips. The substance was wet and sticky, almost thick, and seemed oddly familiar.

[Anonymous No.14134947]

>>14134686
lemme guess, is this a Bukowski?

he fucking started crying retelling a piece of shit like this during his biodoc it was fucking gold

[Anonymous No.14135060]

>>14134916
>>14134925
lol nice.

would you be disappointed if i also said that i was telling my story in the first person?

>>14134947
post video

[Anonymous No.14135074]

>>14134479
>what you mean about conversation being a foreign concept to actual writers
It was just a sarcastic way of saying that, even though all writers have to practice writing effective dialogue, most of them probably don't struggle with, for example,
>>14134316
> I cant imagine what people would actually say.
The way you talk about the mystery of conversation sounds like the way a person might talk about the mystery of cat communication, that's all.
I'm sorry if I came across as judgmental or dismissive of your goals.

[Anonymous No.14135132]

>>14134560
Probably some of the best advice you'll get in this thread.

[Anonymous No.14135156]

>>14135060
no, you can write in first person. ive read smut written in the female and male first person that ive enjoyed.
however, i could never enjoy the ones where they insert you (second person i think?)

i may be wrong, but i think men also agree with whamen when reading smut. theyre there for the "plot." any dude who wants to read mechanical details about the entering of the penis into the vagina would just go watch porn

>...and went wild. I had her in missionary...
vs
>Against her half-hearted pleas, I plunged myself entirely into her with my first stroke.

>She was bouncing up and down on my dick. It felt good to orgasm.
vs
>I held her down as I bottomed out in her. I couldn't hold back. I wouldn't hold back. I let myself completely go.
>I could hear her faint whimpers as I collapsed on top of her.
>"It's okay baby, you did well. My little sex puppet did so well" I told her as I caressed her cheeks. I knew that aftercare was just as important as the actual session.

[Anonymous No.14135232]

>>14135060
>post video

bukowski crying pornlit tears
https://youtu.be/h32g3g7r4Q8?t=4636

[Anonymous No.14135241]

If we can teach AI how to converse via repeated exposure to human conversation surely we can teach autists to converse (in writing at least) via repeated exposure to literature

[Anonymous No.14136380]

look into using the Chinese divination process of the I Ching.

[Anonymous No.14136568]

Why would anybody want to read a novel from you, then?

[Anonymous No.14136664]

>>14134632
Unless, like me, you have none.

[Anonymous No.14136688]

I don't think you're supposed to write dialogue that sounds anything like a real conversation. Just write how you normally do and pop on some quotation marks. Boom, done.

[Anonymous No.14136704]

>>14134223
Most people are fucking dumb talking. You don't need to copy them, because then your writing is going to be boring as well.

[Anonymous No.14138124]

>>14134223
idk, watch pulp fiction or something

[Anonymous No.14138473]

>>14134223
CAN SOMEONE REVIEW MY DIALOGUE! i wrote this now, practice

>hello i want a coffe
>thats cool, i will make you a coffee
>okay thats cool
>yea what do you want with it?
>i dont know, maybe cinnamon, is that normal, in coffee?
>yea thats fine, ok, cinnamon is ok
>okay, how much will that be?
>13 dollars, sir
>ok i will pay you 13 dollars, wow you are cute also, do you like soccer?
>yes, i like soccer!
>okay, here is my number 904211
>wow, thanks, see you
>yea you too, see you

[Anonymous No.14138481]

>>14138473
if the setting was autism school and two autists were practicing being social, it'd be pretty believable

[Anonymous No.14138536]

>>14138473
This is like Cormac McCarthy, but better. Good job anon.

[Anonymous No.14138543]

>>14134223
Watch COPS

[Anonymous No.14138550]

don delillo does dialouge p. good t.b.h. (to be honest)

[Anonymous No.14138561]

>>14134223
Just write a satire based on Jungian archetypes of 21st century society

[Hieronymous No.14138572]

>>14138561
is this an inside meme or something?

[Hieronymous No.14138575]

>>14138473
sprinkle some he-said-she-said on that shit bit

[Eris Omniquery No.14138598]

>>14138572
It's very inside and meta.

[Anonymous No.14138608]

>>14134407

The problem is that good dialogue isn't remotely realistic. It is verisimilar but not identical to real-life conversation.

Remember that stories are an ideal. Just as a story has a structured narrative that could not possibly occur in reality, its dialogue is conversational essence distilled.

The truth that people in this thread don't want to face is that living life does not prepare you to write. It is, at very best, half of what you need. The rest is art and skill. OP might be better served reading more books and paying closer attention. If he doesn't know what his characters would say in a particular moment, that sounds more a problem of not having outlined his characters well enough prior to beginning his story. Even studying a few well-known fictional characters and archetypes will give him inspiration. No one is so isolated from the world that he has no idea how ANYONE would move or speak; we all come from some sort of a family, however small or distant.

[Anonymous No.14138627]

>>14138608
OP here

I didnt have time to develop any characters. My story was inspired by a dream I had. So i just started writing it the same day basically. The characters are developing as the story progresses.

my next problem is going to be that i keep introducing new characters and they're all just going to come out of nowhere and i wont be able to keep track of them because i dont know how to maintain relationships in my own personal life. How can any of my characters do the same?

FUCK

>>14138561
how did you know?!
>>14138598
so true!
el oh el its not even funny

[Anonymous No.14138635]

Read Gaddis. He has some of the best dialogue written in the English language.

[Anonymous No.14138642]

>>14134223
watch movies by Rohmer and Linklater

[Anonymous No.14138701]

>>14134223
>>14134316
>I cant imagine what people would actually say.

you know there's youtube, podcasts, tv, film, 4chan, reddit...

[Anonymous No.14138715]

>>14138642
>rohmer
Hell no. His dialouges are great, sure, but only on screen.
>>14138701
>tv
>youtube
>4chan
>reddit
>podcasts
What if he isn't writing book for retards?

[Anonymous No.14138867]

>>14138627

>So i just started writing it the same day basically. The characters are developing as the story progresses.

That's your problem. I used to do it all the time, but you will probably find as you mature as a writer that outlines and brainstorms become your best friends. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

>i dont know how to maintain relationships in my own personal life. How can any of my characters do the same?

You're a writer, friend. That's your job. Making up things that seem real is WHAT YOU DO. Do you have to walk on the moon to write a scene in which a character does? Do you need to be black to write a character who experiences the world as a black person?

Certainly personal experience helps, but empathy is the writer's premier tool. Seeing through another person's eyes is what makes writing so involving and reading so absorbing. Research is also important, though secondary -- a story can have emotional resonance and get the facts wrong, but a story that's true-to-life while having no emotional impact is not a story proper.

To put it bluntly, you have to start imagining what it would be like to be a norman. This might be more fun than you think. You should also see it as a challenge -- can you write a character who seems real to people who have had the same experiences, even though you've had none of them? If you can I guarantee it will give you a sense of power. I've written social-butterfly characters despite being a total social retard and recluse myself, and it's pretty fun, not to mention interesting. What are their unique problems? Qualitatively, how does their life differ from yours? Come on, half the joy of writing is becoming someone else for a while -- throw yourself into it!

[Anonymous No.14139637]

>>14138715
>durr everyone is retarded but me

if you wanna learn how to write real dialogue then pay attention to real people

[eLIT !!+yp8kR80iN5 No.14139765]

>>14134223
I have the same problem, and my solution is to study corpus:

https://www.linguistics.ucsb.edu/research/santa-barbara-corpus/
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Spoken_English_Corpus

you can find others.