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/lit/ - Literature

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14094438 No.14094438 [Reply] [Original]

Meanwhile, at the /lit/ Publishing office...

>> No.14094452

"So I says, 'Look, pal, we publish what we want, and what we don't want is to publish niggers.'"

>> No.14094629

HELLO I WANT TO PUBLISH A BOOK

>> No.14094633

>>14094629
Which genre :^)?

>> No.14094634

what does a real publishing office look like

>> No.14094635

>>14094633
GOOD IF POSSIBLE

>> No.14094640

>>14094635
"good" is not a genre, anon.

>> No.14094647
File: 28 KB, 361x307, 0654_-_VOcxgCK.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14094647

>>14094452
then why is there a nigger and a poo-lady working in your OFFICE?!!?!!?!?

>> No.14094651

You faggots have to get your shit together and publish some books that bring in cash. We've been in the red for the last 8 years, soon you'll have to find real jobs.

>> No.14094652

Guys we have so many fucking copies of unsold Burger Punk in the office I can barely walk to the bathroom, we NEED to do something about this

>> No.14094658

>>14094652
All I see is spare toilet tissue Chief

>> No.14094663
File: 91 KB, 1080x1331, 1572204057693.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14094663

>>14094438
"Yes I'd like to publish a book. It's called Mein Kampf 2."

>> No.14094671

>>14094663
Dein Kampf 2 what?

>> No.14094675

>>14094671
Mein Kampf 2: The Third Reich Strikes Back

>> No.14094699

Somebody is stealing the office supplies. This has to stop.

>> No.14094714

"I'm sorry anon, but we publish exclusively Lacanian Erotica."

>> No.14094723

We didn't publish enough books from disaffected young overeducated white men this quarter;—we have to stick to our niche!

>> No.14094726

>>14094714
if I hear you say this to another potential client one more time I'm going to break your collar bone

>> No.14094729

>>14094723
We published that one book by the trans girl.

>> No.14094738

>>14094726
Being an editor is an art and I wont apologize for quality control.
Last quarter was almost in the black anyways.

>> No.14094746

I messaged Nick Land on twitter and I think theres a chance we could sign him for a 5 book series.

>> No.14094748

Who hired all these guys from r/books publishing?

>> No.14094761

>>14094748
Suck my dick anon, what was the last author you signed that made any money.

>> No.14094767

Guys, I'm thinking we stop digital editions completely. If you dont but a hardcover, you dont get our books.

>> No.14094777

>>14094767
Can someone get tell Justin Murphy to stop calling?

>> No.14094780

"I'm sorry sir, we only publish English and English translations."

>> No.14094785

>>14094761
"Londonfrog: Selected Posts" sold decently. I can't help it that the we are so far ahead on the trend with Burger Punk that people haven't started buying it yet.

>> No.14094787

>>14094651
It's a shame Mr. "at what point does the use of the word nigger become artistically unacceptable" never submitted a finished manuscript, I feel like that guy had potential.

>> No.14094806

>>14094785
BurgerPunk is a meme and you know it. Reactionary lit sells quarter after quarter.

You're alienating out libertarian bloc and their neetbucks with your pseudoleftism, I'm not afraid to say it.

>> No.14094829

>>14094761
Listen here you little shit, Legacy of totalitarianism in a tundra was art of the highest caliber, your lowest common denominator trash won't be remembered in two months.

>> No.14094847

>>14094829
The collection of essays giving a deleuzian analysis of Guenon retroactively BTFOing Whitehead was reviewed favorably in several journals as well as breaking basically even.

>> No.14094867

>>14094847
>breaking basically even

Nigga it sold two copies

>> No.14094882

>>14094867
Well, I think itdve done better if they let me do a paperback run.
Besides it was two purchasers several copies, Guenonfag bought 3 at least. I thought there was more interest cause of the hundreds of guenon threads.

>> No.14094897
File: 80 KB, 601x800, coca-cola_its_the_real_thing_coke_9_1970.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14094897

All arguing makes me really thirsty for a ice cold Coca-Cola®.

>> No.14095313

>>14094897
who let this psycho in again? oh lord he's pouring it in the water cooler! call security!

>> No.14095325

>>14094651
Lit has been a lot more active than most writers, don't be so unfair

>> No.14095330

who THE FUCK ordered all these rhombus shaped books???

>> No.14095349

Guys, guys, some Theodore Kak-z-j, I don't how to pronounce these Russian names, wants to do a book with us, something about Industrial society and it's future. Gonna be really popular with the climate change crowd apparently

>> No.14095386

>>14095330
I told you fuckers that letting schizos not only publish their works but also do the design itself would backfire. Look at them! The left side is different from the right so they don't even tile together properly, they're taking up three times as much space as they need.

Also I'll reiterate: NO ONE wants to read about how right angles are a jewish conspiracy to revive the soviet union. NO ONE!

>> No.14095460

Sir, we don't accept COOM-written manuscripts. You'll have to rewrite it in pen, here, take this one - i see your works is short enough to be copied in 15 minutes.
What are you doing? Sir, it's forbidden to jerk the pens! Do you know how hard it is to shove all the ink back in!

>> No.14096464

>>14095460
Ah fuck he just COOMed all over the copyediting desk, SECURITY

>> No.14096494
File: 80 KB, 615x648, GUESS WHAT.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14096494

I EDGED IN THE BATHROOM FOR TWO HOURS AND WHEN I CAME IT WAS MOSTLY LIQUID AND IT SHOT OVER THE STALL DOOR AND ONTO THE MIRROR BUT WHEN I TRIED TO WIPE IT OFF IT JUST SMEARED EVERYWHERE BECAUSE THE PAPER IS ROUGH AND BROWN LIKE A PAPER BAG KIND OF PAPER INSTEAD OF SOFT LIKE REGULAR TOILET PAPER HEY WHO LET THESE NIGGERS IN HERE

>> No.14096544

when is schizoposter gonna hand us over the manuscripts? its been 4 years

>> No.14096774

>>14096544
The man just can't commit. He's prolific, but he can't see any project through. Have you seen what he's on now? "11/3: The Battle for Seattle" is generating interest, but I don't see him meeting the deadline he's set on. When it passes he'll probably move on to something else like he always does. We need to get him a ghostwriter or something.

>> No.14096794

Can someone remind me why the FUCK we didn't take that buyout when we had the chance?

>> No.14096813

>>14094438
>"Poems of a Feminista" by Nguba Bmkwame? What the fuck?
>Which one of you jokers put this shit on my desk?

>> No.14096871
File: 120 KB, 390x348, 1566859372907.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14096871

>mfw want to publish a 12 volume memoir about being a COOMER

will you publish? I have the first 4 volumes written already (over 2500 pages)

>> No.14096885

>>14096871
I'm sorry kid, we don't publish erotica here.

>> No.14096935
File: 285 KB, 646x431, basedmelbasedvince.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14096935

>mfw listening to another opening speech by Guenonfag during our annual company retreat

>> No.14097047

>>14096871
does it have a resolution where you repent and embrace the lord? This is a orthodox institution, mr. coomer.

>> No.14097059

>>14097047

No, I die and go to hell where I get raped by demons, but I'm into that and it just makes me coom more.

>> No.14097071

>>14096794
Which one? We missed 5 bubbles already, its a miracle we're still afloat.

>> No.14097082

>>14097071
The one while incelcore was skyrocketing in popularity sticks to mind, we could have made bank had we gone for it before the anti-virginity legislation was passed

>> No.14097089

>>14097059
I see...and this is *memoir*, correct?

>> No.14097101

>>14094438
ok guys we're switching gears here. from here on out we will be accepting manuscripts submitted by individuals historically underrepresented in the publishing industry. the more niggerishtr and trannyish the better.

>> No.14097114

>>14097101
Whoa whoa boss, is this really going to appeal to our virgin neckbeard audience? Anon over in marketing has been running the numbers and I'm not sure that this pivot makes good business sense.

>> No.14097122 [DELETED] 

I HATE NIGGERS AND WOMEN

>> No.14097156

>>14097122
How would you like a 3 book deal, Champ?

>> No.14097352

>>14094634
OMG GUYS LOOK AT THIS FUNNY GIF ON TWITTER
Just look at the drama on #mswl

>> No.14097604

Sir, I have a J. Annie or something on the phone from 4channel corporate. He wants to talk to you.

>> No.14097609

I'm gonna fuck those speakers up with a fire axe if you don't stop blasting Kanye.

>> No.14097642

>>14095349
He sent us some package apparently, anybody have any idea what that is about.

>> No.14097647

>>14097642
no, why dont you open it and show us

>> No.14097666

What the FUCK happened to the mailroom?!? Is that a fucking body?

>> No.14097670

holy shit holy shit holy shit someone call the police... 911... anything!!! there's blood all over the floor

>> No.14097694

Must've been a banger manuscript.

>> No.14097699

Who has eaten all the carrots from the break room?

>> No.14097721

DON'T CALL 911 YOU FAGS WAIT UNTIL THE STORY RESOLVES, THIS WOULD SELL LIKE HOTCAKES IN A NOVELLA FORMAT

>> No.14097726

>>14094663
literally knausgaard

>> No.14097751
File: 553 KB, 1400x1921, witches flight - goya.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14097751

>>14094438

there's an actual one for the lit quarterly though, this is a real thing now

>> No.14097754

>>14097721
We really can't have the cops coming in here right now, management didn't want the lower level employees to know but, well...
this place stays above water by printing bootleg copies of John Green novels after dark

>> No.14097892

>>14094634
From what I've seen, it was a narrow office, kind of worn out, filled with middle-aged women. Depression hung in the air like cigarette smoke, but there was no smoke because it's illegal to smoke indoors here. I dropped my dreams of working in such a place the moment I stepped through the door. Mind you, this was a small time operation, not Harper Collins or anything.

>> No.14098137

>>14097754
But what are we going to do the cops coming looking for a Mr. SeeAyeA?

>> No.14098146

>>14094633
>publishing genre fiction
Never gonna make it.

>> No.14099045

STOP THE PRESSES

>> No.14099067
File: 87 KB, 780x609, bud.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14099067

>>14099045
ROSEBUD

>> No.14099172

>>14094438
>basedboi
>nigger
>poo in the loo
it must be a british or american publisher.

>> No.14099907
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14099907

>>14099067

>> No.14099985

>>14098146
>not publishing genre fiction
Do you hate money or something?

>> No.14100607
File: 65 KB, 1068x601, gigachad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14100607

>>14099985
How did you know?

>> No.14100669

>>14094746
are you sure we'll be able to sell five chinese travel guides?

>> No.14101156

ᶠᵘᶜᵏ niᵍᵍᵉʳˢ

>> No.14101212

Heard you guys were looking for some new cover artists after the last one submitted a .jpg image, what do you need done?