/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.13927609]

Crit thread try to critique others before you post pls

[Anonymous No.13927620]

Here is mine. It’s from an erotica novella I started a few months ago. Looking back at it now I just feel it’s shit and need someone to corroborate this so I can drop it.

Much argumentation had ensued in the O’Connor household when Mary, the eldest daughter, received a letter from her Aunt Lydia offering her a job in the household of a certain Lord Maxwell. The letter detailed the dismissal of a wayward maid and spoke of the ‘friendly atmosphere’, the ‘collegial spirit’, and the various dignities associated with being a housemaid in the Maxwell House. Mary protested that she had aspirations beyond (her words) servicing fat-faced Englishmen who couldn’t tell bread from butter. “Besides,” she said, mimicking her father’s dinnertime speeches, “I’m not made for it. O’Connor used to be a great name in these lands; our ilk are not servants.”

Mary’s father was a stout gentleman with a rugged beard who was much friendlier than he looked. He loved his daughter very much, and his eyes betrayed him of it. “There’s a lot to be learned from service,” he told her. “Patience, humility, hard work. Do not discount these things on account of your pride.”

Mary grew infuriated at the suggestion that her refusal was borne on mere hubris. Her family had always been held in high regard within their community; to her mind it seemed like a preposterous suggestion that she should take up the role of a housemaid, bowing and grovelling at every turn. “Servility, slavishness, exhaustion. How about those venerable virtues you forget to mention? Are they also important for me to learn?”

Father cast her a look of paternal indignation. “Have you not read how our Lord humbled himself before his disciples, deigning to kneel down before them to wash their feet, a task reserved for the lowest of slaves? And what was his response when Saint Peter pleaded with him not to humiliate himself in such a way? ‘I came to serve, not be served.’
“And who are you, Miss O’Connor? A simple girl, daughter to farmers, confused and lost in your youthful inclinations, having not seventeen years ago to be nursed by your mother. You are too high and lofty to take up a respectable position offered to you by your aunt?
“You are my daughter, Mary. I will not compel you. But understand that this air of haughtiness you carry around with you is a thousand times less dignified than the work of any housemaid.”

At this he stood up, finished off his drink in a single draught, and walked out into the field to resume his work, having made it tacitly understood that he would hear no more from her.

[Anonymous No.13928451]

>>13927609
Bump