/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.13784438]

You ever read a book that resonates so deeply within you that it changes your worldview completely?
>pic related
Started to realize that I’m probably a schizoid since I read this. Always knew something was off about my behavior, but never put a name to it until I read this. Honestly blows my mind how literature is able to transfer knowledge

[Anonymous No.13784467]

>>13784438
Read Guntrip. Please don't make the mistake of overidentifying with the schizoid label. I was locked in it for years. It's one of the most painful conditions to work through in psychoanalysis, as psychosis lurks beneath. Your warm reaction to finding answers in Laing sounds a little too baity and satisfied to be authentically schizoid, but I don't doubt that you are one. Many 4chan self-identified autists are likely more properly classed as schizoid.

[Anonymous No.13784549]

>>13784467
>Guntrip
Who?
>Please don't make the mistake of overidentifying with the schizoid label
I would prefer not to, any attachment to an ideal can be dangerous.
>Your warm reaction to finding answers in Laing sounds a little too baity and satisfied to be authentically schizoid
Most of my language comes across as warm in the internet, it’s how most of my inner thought processes are. The cliche “arm chair psychologist” could probably be used to describe what I’m doing, but in case of my superior intelligence (weschler tested), high neuroticism, and social attachment style; schizoid, for or for worse, tends to “fit the bill” rather uncannily compared to any other mental prognosis. I’ve been diagnosed with a range of disorders proceeding my second year of university: major despressive disorder, general anxiety, social anxiety, bipolar II, ADHD; none are a very accurate description of my life and personality. Rather, my emergent behavior is a result of what I’d assume is a false front. It’s a persona I assume in order to separate my perceived inner self from what can be punished: my physical self. I’ve zero friends despite being extremely extroverted in nature. Im extremely handsome and have had year long relationships with multiple women, but felt no emotional attachment. I’d cheated on all of them, multiple times with absolute zero regret, except the guilt knowing if they knew what I did it’d be hurtful for them. My behavior may give off the aura of a psychopath or maybe a maniac, but there is still a deep resonating empathy for others within me. I never wish to see someone pain or discomfort, much less be the cause of said physical states. I love people, but can’t stand them. I’m a misanthrope to the core, if the core was a desolate loneliness in which I both revel and despair, never wanting to leave but never finding completely solace or joy.

[Anonymous No.13784640]

>>13784549
Hold on to your contradictions and manias. If you can find any fascination in this disorder or in armchair psyching it, don't let anyone take that away from you. It's the unique assignment of this disordered state to open onto infinite internal analysis without descending into naval-gazing. You enjoy ultra-objectivity and ultra-subjectivity entwined.

I lost this alien pleasure in the "working through" of analysis and learned to feel loneliness for the first time in my life this year. I still have most of the symptoms and repeat situations you've described in your own life, but now it feels like a full body cage. It's like becoming aware of the body as a container for the reincarnative process and realizing you not only are not the identity you seem (which is true for everyone) but that you're also not even playing your character correctly. You can play hundreds of other characters convincingly to all you meet, but you'll resist attachment, knowing you've fooled them just enough but never finding the relief of forgetting in fooling yourself.

Guntrip was himself a schizoid and is the authority on deeper schizoid structures. He was never cured, and for that, I trust him the most.

[Anonymous No.13784664]

>>13784467
How is psychoanalysis when you're schizophrenic? Like what do you talk about in your sessions

[Anonymous No.13784705]

>>13784640
Knowing the cage around me is half the battle, while the other half tends to be displaying my true character. At the end of the day, though, it comes down to whether or not you truly want to change who you are and your perception of reality. Using my knowledge of human behavior and operant conditioning, I’m slowly bringing myself round to fixing most of the habit I find undesirable. Unfortunately, I still have immense trouble finding any value in other people. I often socialize and “hangout” with people, but at the end of the day I always regret the time I wasted. I can’t figure why, other than that other people are just relatively useless and a general burden. Thank you for the recommendation too, I’ll check him out. >>13784664
Schizoid is a completely separate disorder from schizophrenia

[Anonymous No.13784746]

>>13784664
Well, I'm not schizophrenic. Schizoid is actually a different structure from schizophrenia. Originally, most analysts rejected psychotic patients (schizophrenia) as supposedly incapable of forming transference. This was disproved. In fact, analysis can work quite well for many psychotic disorders, perhaps even better than it can for schizoid (even if the schizoid has underlying psychotic traits).

As a schizoid, well I'm only going to speak from my own analysis despite knowing and reading of that of others: my extreme, beyond the desert, well into the void of the abyss distance from relational authenticity was laid bare rather quickly. My analyst is also schizoid (recovered), so that helped immensely. What one talks about explicitly is much less important to interpretation than *how* one talks, moves, arrives. The schizoid will resort to primitive communications not consciously intended, like moving away from analyst awkwardly, staring at seemingly random objects that somehow symbolize what is really being felt. Dream logic is enacted. Yes, psychoanalysis is in a sense outdated, in a sense ancient and futuristic. The topic really makes much more interesting reading than the process of undergoing analysis actually does. Read case descriptions. I had years of prior misdiagnoses too.