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/lit/ - Literature

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13668639 No.13668639 [Reply] [Original]

I wrote a poem lads
But i have a problem
I am terrified of showing it to anyone. I don't even want people on this board to read it. How do i get over the shame and fear that is fucking me up?

>> No.13668647

>>13668639
just post it fag
you'll never improve without an external pov

>> No.13668657

>>13668639
You do realize people will forget your poem 5 minutes after they read it right? It could be the greatest poem ever, that would still be the case

>> No.13668723

Ok here it goes
I'll post it
Btw it's not written in English

Izlazak mjeseca


Dok sam sjedio i pio
Sunce sam zaboravio
A mjesec se oporavio
I pun ustao iz sna

U njega sam se zagledao
I na njegovu ljepotu ugledao
Onakvog krvavog kao zemlja na kojoj stojim

Uzdizao se sve više i više
I sve je postalo tiše i tiše
Dok crna noć nije zavladala

I desilo se nešto što mi se činilo čudno
Dok ništa nije bilo bučno
Mjesec je problijedio

Dok se dizao više
Kao novorođeno klinče
Vrisnu tiho
Pomozite mi

Zvijezde tako lijepe ga zaboraviše
I sve te svijetle nade uguše se
I tako u krug i u krug.

Pls no bully

>> No.13668737

>>13668639
If anything this is the best place to post it, anonymity is a blessing, use it.

>> No.13668795

All poems are without exception cringe inducing and the only times when they are socially aceptable to read are when the author is respectable for another legitimate reason.

>> No.13668805

>>13668795
So it's ok if the feeling of cringe runs through my entire body whenever i read one of my poems

>> No.13668853

>>13668723
fack can't critique it m8
let's wait for someone who can

>> No.13669126

>>13668723
CRINGE fucking lol those aren't even words retard. shit poem shouldn't have shared.

>> No.13669156

>>13668723
I don't know what language is this but this song comes to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_7Z2KnbAIE

>> No.13669182

>>13669156
Well i am a Bosnian Serb so that's probably why that sounds familiar to you lol

>> No.13669187 [DELETED] 

>>13668723
Speak a human language, Slav subhuman.

>> No.13669189

>>13668723
Well, since I don't know Croat I pasted this on Google Translate and it came out surprisingly decent although I'm sure a lot is lost, anon.

Moonrise
As I sat and drank I forgot the sun
And the moon recovered
And full rose from sleep

I stared at him
And on his beauty he saw
As bloody as the land I stand on

He was rising higher and higher
And everything got quieter and quieter
Until the black night took over

And something strange happened to me
While nothing was noisy
The moon had faded

As he rose more
Like a newborn kid I screamed softly help me
Stars so beautiful forgot him

And all those bright hopes were damped And so into the circle and into the circle.

>> No.13669194

>>13668723
Sexy. Now Come get this dick

>> No.13669312

>>13669189
It's not cringy at all, OP. Walt Whitman has written worse poems. Is "him" the moon?

>> No.13669321

>>13669312
Well yeah
Kinda