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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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13623473 No.13623473 [Reply] [Original]

Critique Thread

>> No.13623478
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13623478

>>13623473
Cont

>> No.13623547
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13623547

Here's a poem that's been edited based on some feedback from another thread.

>> No.13623559

>>13623473
>>13623478

I remember you posting this on another thread. Tbh I don't rightly know if you've changed anything in it, but I think it's well written if not a bit too vague for my taste.

Your imagery is repulsive in a good way, if that's what you were going for.

>> No.13623576

this is fucking awful lol

>> No.13623597

>>13623473
ALSO, this is probably just from low tier reading comprehension on my part, but the woman's diction/voice is identical to yours and on the first read through it didn't even really register that she was speaking.

You could maybe try to step outside of the style of the poem a bit for her lines.

Or you could honestly just remove the quotations marks entirely.

Or not.

You are the artist afterall

>> No.13623734
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13623734

>>13623473
Repulsive, but if thats what you were going for then good on you.
>>13623547
Good poem, i like it.
Even if the rhythm is a bit hard to catch, i think ít portrays feeling really well.

>> No.13623739
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13623739

>>13623734
cont

>> No.13623769

>>13623478
Broken bird line is good. Maybe too slef indulgent on the sex imagery. Last stanza doesnt seem to serve a purpose for me

>> No.13623778

>>13623739
Boring and uninspired

>> No.13624468

This is the third critique thread in 48 hours. Used to be that they would stay up for 2-3 days and reach near post limit.

Here's the truth. Those willing to crit are far outnumbered by those wanting critique. These threads die because barely anyone holds up their end of the bargain, probably thinking that posting their ever so genius amateur swill will still garner enough attention to at least provide shallow compliments.

Just let this shit die again. Everything is shit and this board is now hopeless for these purposes.

>> No.13624533

>>13624468
Honesty finally arrives

>> No.13624542
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13624542

>>13624468
When was the last time /lit/ wrote a book? Was it any good? When (if ever) will we write another book?
>inb4 never

>> No.13624550
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13624550

>> No.13624621

>>13624468
Even when comments are made they are usually really basic. I tried making basic for most and in-depth for a few but it wasn't worth the time or effort.