/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.13610550]

Write what's on your mind
To jannies: writing is /lit/ related

[Anonymous No.13610703]

[Anonymous No.13610737]

[Raul No.13610827]

i had a nightmare where an anonymous american Jackass was asking me why I did not round numbers, and asking me to work for the Fed once again for free, I told him to go straight to hell himself because I thought he was a rat, I also woke up today and I saw nobody from Spain and I got sad, now that i saw that cuban asking me to pay him to release Vatican comms, I am not sure there will be an answer, I also have a strange lock and I have to do it manually, have not seen you add latest notifications of comments on threads which I have posted, I'll leave you alone for a while go back to twitter, I guess you'll feel indirectly what I am posting

[Anonymous No.13610837]

Only a few more days till I am a wizard.

[Anonymous No.13610844]

i never report this thread because its a containment thread. plus, sometimes i need to vent my feels too :)

[Anonymous No.13610846]

>be me
>born on a Christian commune in an urban Midwest City
>Kind of normal childhood, really timid kid
>Proto AGP. Read every page in the children's encyclopedia except for the articles on ballet and women's clothes because I don't like how they make me feel
>Christmas pageant, playing one of the three wise men that visit Jesus at his birth: Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar. Night of the performance, teacher springs stage makeup on us. I start balling my eyes out for some reason, almost miss my part
>Develop an episode of OCD. Constantly rubbing my eyes and face to make sure there isn't any makeup on my face, rubbing my fingernails to check for nailpolish. Real psychotic hours. Get really shy
>Fast forward to puberty, watching Avatar (2009) in theaters, start thinking about my crush. "You'd rather *be* her than be her boy friend". Can't stop thinking about this when I get home. It's obviously the devil. Many sleepless nights. Start hanging my head against the floor to make the thoughts stop. Full blown nervous breakdown. Home from school for months. Get excorsised twice. Never tell anyone what my problems are. Parents think I have a neurological problem. Start me on antidepressants.
>Loner at high school, try hard but don't do very well. Some happy memories, mostly drift by
>Still obsessed with women's clothes: tights, silk opera gloves, ball gowns. Standard AGP stuff
>Couple good years after high school, not expected to go to college so I start working at the family business. Lots of real personal growth, get off the antidepressants. Finally get erections again, masterbate for the first time at age 19
>Get a girlfriend, honestly love her.
>Browsing Reddit one day, come across the trans timelines subreddit.
>Breakdown, start crying. Probably the most emotional moment in my life.
>Drift away from my GF. Start ghosting her
>Slow slide into neuroticocism, alcohol abuse. Start to slip at my job
>Don't pass, can't hide my masculine features. Further isolation
>Go back on antidepressants, feel better. Less obsessed with gender
It's now a year or too later. I don't really think about this stuff much anymore but I'm basically dead inside. I can write more if anyone is interested

[Anonymous No.13610849]

>>13610844
what a sweetheart you are, anon :-)

[Anonymous No.13610921]

just came out of a cultural and spiritual coma, days leading up to this were great better than any feeling ive ever experienced before and now that ive reached the best point in my life i'm gonna come home

[Anonymous No.13610928]

>>13610846
kys faggot

[Anonymous No.13610969]

Shitty writers should write the first draft exactly the way they talk - edit the bullshit out and get decent, readable prose.
People trying to write like some Faulkner-ripoff are the worst. Don't they know that they are neither talented nor very smart?
Someone being honestly dumb is refreshing. People should read Pushkin's novels and short stories: lean and simple.
My feet hurt. I should've stayed at home. Is that a fucking leather-bound Shakespeare Edition on her nightstand?

[Anonymous No.13611685]

Bumperino

[Anonymous No.13612562]

I didn't sleep last night and now I honestly feel like my IQ has gone down by two standard deviations. But I'm getting these unfiltered creative thoughts, except now I don't know what's good and what's stupid because all my ideas sound hilariously good now. I'm sort of scared to try writing as I am now.

[Anonymous No.13612573]

>>13612562
Eat well, work out, be out in the sun, I'm sure you'll get better soon.

[Anonymous No.13612689]

>>13612562
write now, edit later. that's how it works

[Anonymous No.13612769]

>>13610846
You posted this on /lgbt/ as well

[Anonymous No.13612857]

A formation of single-engine prop fighter planes has been repeatedly flying over my office today. They aren't showing up on the flight tracker and there aren't any flight shows in the area. It looks like each plane is a different model but I'm not sure, different liveries at the very least

[Anonymous No.13613116]

I'm in awe of techno-capital. The way it assimilates, integrates, coordinates, assembles, transacts, everything and everyone that it brings into its inescapable nexus. The hundreds of billions of dollars it captures and siphons from other industries, piggybacking, parasitizing, co-opting. It has been said that software will eat the world, but what will it shit out? An informationally stable, regularized, standardize system of references. Google defines. It epitomizes, equilibrates.

If only such potency were marshaled for a cause other than profit, other than advertisement. The world would be brought under a single direction, a universal order of limitless crystalline logic.

[Anonymous No.13613708]

>Step 1: run away from home
>Step 2: enlist in the military
>Step 3: get out
>Step 4: ??? College ???
>Step 5: gender transition
>Step 6: ???

[Anonymous No.13613718]

>>13613708
suicide, presumably.

[Anonymous No.13613739]

There could be a /med/ board at some point. It would be awful, but it'd be funny

[Anonymous No.13613752]

>>13613739
A medical board? Isn't that part of /sci/?

[Anonymous No.13613762]

>>13613752
I forgot /sci/ existed. I'd have to check.

[Anonymous No.13613779]

>>13613762
If there would ever be a new board, I would rather see a /HUM/ humanities (Philosophy and religion) board or a splitting of /LGBT/ into /MTF/ and /LGB-FTM/

[Anonymous No.13613910]

I'm trying to figure out what I want from life. I trade crypto for a living with the occasional freelance to supplement. I spend most of my time in my room reading books, manga, and trading. I want to socialize, but I dont want to break my alcohol sobriety, yet bars are mostly intolerable places to be when sober.

Trying to figure out my values. Not values that are good in some slave morality type of way, but what I want to do with my remaining time on this rock.

Meanwhile, I've been reading a lot of accelerationist philosophy

[Anonymous No.13614072]

I'm halfway through One Hundred Years of Solitude and it's fucking amazing, I'm genuinely mad at you guys for not insisting I read this book before.

[Anonymous No.13614088]

I ATE TWO FUCKING BOXES OF CEREAL TODAY TWO FUCKING BOXES OH GOD PLEASE END MY LIFE WHY IS MY LIFE SO MUCH SHIT

[Anonymous No.13614090]

>>13614088
one digit for every box.
what kind of cereal was it?

[Anonymous No.13614099]

>>13613779
I've heard some people want to make a containment board for e-celebs as well. But I feel that might breach into normal tv actor celebrities and be the most bland board ever. A /HUM/ board might turn pretentious and it's better to discuss here

[Anonymous No.13614102]

>>13614090
Quaker Honey Graham

[Anonymous No.13614103]

>>13614072
My dad let me read it at 13. I wouldn't have gotten such an interest in books if it weren't for him. It's an amazing book. Reading it in Spanish feels better though

[Anonymous No.13614113]

>>13614103
I'm reading it in French because my Spanish is too rusty for reading a whole book.

[Anonymous No.13614133]

>>13613779
I would support /hum/ if it replaces /his/, and if discussion of specific religious and historical books were still allowed on /lit/. All I really want is a place to talk about literature and history where people base their posts on BOOKS THEY HAVE ACTUALLY READ, instead of referencing wikipedia articles, movies, memes, and their own half-baked philosophical "insights."
Jesus God, the absolute state of /his/ keeps me up at night.

[Anonymous No.13614137]

>>13614102
you disgust me

[Anonymous No.13614144]

>>13613910
i'm assuming you're somewhat successful trading crypto if you can make a living off it. i dunno if you use technical indicators or not (never fucked with crypto) but there are a good amount of analyst and trader jobs out there in traditional equity and bond sectors.

[Anonymous No.13614181]

Unironically wish that was me

[Anonymous No.13614263]

I feel like I'm the only person that's gets any value out of these threads.

[Anonymous No.13614390]

I might get fired this month and I have a lot of money saved up and if I do get fired I'm thinking of not looking for a new job and instead taking a crack at a first book. I have what I feel to be a relatively unique non-fiction idea, and a good idea of how its components interrelate to form a bigger picture, but all I have to show for it so far is a largely unread bibliography and a rambling 20 page single-spaced essay that needs to be separated out into sections and more carefully developed with proper citations and transitions. Even if it were a flop I feel that, if I achieved recognition later on in life, it would be a good flop, that it would be a good feather in the cap of my "brand."

[Anonymous No.13614400]

>>13614390
What's the topic?
Not to discourage you, but it seems to me that publishing a nonfiction book that doesn't line up with one of the mainstream political narratives would be really difficult.

[Anonymous No.13614410]

>>13614400
I'm sorry, but I can't share it with you. I feel that it's too good an idea.
It has nothing to do with politics.

[Anonymous No.13614422]

>>13614410
Fair enough. Best of luck with the writing.

[Anonymous No.13614426]

but I don't want to pay for sex.

[Anonymous No.13614458]

>>13610837
bonified wizard here; it's actually not that different

[Anonymous No.13614593]

I seriously and irrevocably resent women. They have no right to complain about absolutely anything. The very idea of it is revolting

[Anonymous No.13614616]

>>13614390
take a month off and see what happens. if you don't have another job lined up already, might as well while you search.

[Anonymous No.13614622]

>>13610846
chief, idk how to tell you this but most of the definitions we use regarding genders are like a few centuries old at most; the standards and qualifications of each are even younger than that; you go back not 200 years and half of that "women's stuff" you're obsessed with was made/intended for the males of the time. You've got some deep-seeded identity issues, and a good chunk of it is rooted in misconceptions, and I dare say some perceptions of expectations if I had to take a wild shot in the dark. Sometimes we don't even relay the outsanding stuff to people because we think of it as normal, or implied, but the very idea of "normal" or "average" being any one given thing is extremely narrow-sighted. The current lgb-T-heavy gender movement has very little backing it in the ways of biology or chemistry. Some BST-related findings at best, and that part of the brain primarily regulates anxiety, so it's not hard to see how imbalances there in could cause anything form disassociative complexes to extreme anxiety and depression. Further more, the notion that transitioning "fixes" the other symptoms is a myth; we're talking about like a 50/50 success rate of doing away with the other aliments at best. All this, and they'll outright deny the possibility of psychosomatic cases, which any psychologist worth their salt will tell you is down right inane.

It's not unlike that bit in the US some 10-ish years ago, where people were getting upset about "one nation, under god," in the pledge of allegiance, when that line was added in like 1954. Society as a whole latches onto ideas and perceived social standards really fucking fast, and it becomes the only way that they've known life to be just a handful of generations later. So now we've got people using words that've only really had their current applications for like 500 years or so, to try and re-define things that fit into their modern notions of how things should be labeled and sub-divided, when in truth they're dangerously close to just re-discovering that such notions are inane and unnatural, and were made up by our ancestors within the last millennia.

TL;DR: Try to focus less on gender, and more what it is about that disopia that upsets you specifically. Is it social pressure to behave or present yourself in a certain way? Is it a fear of not being able to live up to your projected expectations of a male in modern society? A very wide margin of trans people have a myriad of other behavioral or social anxieties that are rarely ever discussed, because it makes it sound like a mental condition; which it quantifiable is, but the social stigma against mental disorders makes them feel like owning up to that will discredit the experience and the authenticity of the experience as a condition that should be taken seriously. Any sort of disopia, delusion, or manic disillusionment is, nine times out of ten, a symptom of a deeper condition or complex that hasn't been fully realized.

[Anonymous No.13614650]

>Robert, I dont think this is going to work
>Shut up Bill, to catch a sheep, you have to think like a sheep, smell like a sheep, BE the sheep
>Yeah, but why am I the only one dressed like a sheep?
>We only had one vest, and it doesnt fit me. Now shut up, I think I here the sheep outside.

Robert pushes bill out the door, and he finds himself in a meadow on the hillside, surrounded by sheep. Baaing as they were, Bill decided to baa as well.

>I think its working, said Robert

That’s when Bill saw him. The wolf. He was waiting behind a bush nearby waiting for the moment to strike.

>ROBERT I THINK THERES A-

Bill’s sentence is cut short as the wolf picks him up in his jaws and runs off

>BILL, NO! said robert
>SAVE ME ROBERT said bill

Tbc...

[Anonymous No.13614684]

>>13610846
more proof that trannies are completely mentally well and have fully capable and undiluted rational faculties

[Anonymous No.13614698]

>>13614099
just give us a fucking youtube board called /yt/ or something. it would be the perfect containment board: every single board would benefit from it. Direct all threads about youtube channels or videos to /yt/. Hundreds of trash threads a day would be removed from all the boards.

[Anonymous No.13614885]

>try watching american/british "debate" television for five minutes
>both parties constantly talking over eachother
>when one gets asked a question that actually gives him an opportunity to present his position, he's speaking at 3x speed and clumsily spitting out talking points just to avoid being interrupted
>gets interrupted anyway
>host asks 6 questions in a row without letting them be answered
>dude keeps trying to answer
>host just keeps asking the loaded questions
>start to "feel" the raw anxiety of "any millisecond an interruption is coming" at the back of my consciousness like a little goblin threatening to strike at any moment
>feel my blood pressure rise subtly

My god, this is borderline insanity-inducing for me and it's the normal living conditions of the people who watch/produce this shit. People watch this and don't even notice how horrifying it is. What kind of consciousness could process this and not feel anxious and miserable within seconds? It's like watching a video of child abuse or something, it's just unsettling and disgusting

[Anonymous No.13615366]

Talking about philosophy is strange. It's all so hazy, so convoluted and opaque. I don't feel like I have a grasp on my inner workings: how than can I talk, for example, about my moral reasonings? Thinking seems like the simplification of a simplification - to put into new language what has already been translated from physical stuff in my mind to images and feelings in my consciousness. How much has been lost the first time? How much the second? You cannot trust someones autobiography, he cannot help but lie. You can only believe the most basic and demonstrated assertions. How can you trust your thoughts? How can you not feel like you are only scraping the most superficial level of yourself?

[Anonymous No.13615407]

>>13614622
Thanks for writing this out. I guess most of my dysphoria comes from body issues, it run in my family (had an aunt with anorexia nervosa). I get periods of intense loathing for my body; my face looks wrong and comically grotesque, my shoulders are too wide and disproportionate to try rest of my body, androgenic hair is unsightly and impossible to get ride of all of it, my Adams apple is prominent and my voice is too low to properly vocalise words. And whenever I examine what all of the perceived problems have in common, it's that they are all secondary male sexual traits. I don't really have social dysphoria because I don't really have a social life beyond immediate coworkers and first degree relatives, but I've always struggled with romantic relationships.

You talk about deeper issues and I don't necessarily disagree with you. I was physically abused as a child and was the victim of emotional abuse by church members from a young age. Intentional terrorizing, threats of shunning and abandonment, imposed isolation, control of information. I've talked to multiple therapists and they haven't really helped much, I try to spend as little time in the mental health system as I can. It's all just so tiring, I can't imagine a future where I'm happy, or at least content with being who I am. Not to sound söi, but am I can't imagine having a child or building any sort of family; I would have to ignore pretty much everything I've ever truly learned about life and would be an exercise in stupidity. Life is just not worth all of the pain. Sorry for the long post. You don't have to convince me I'm not well, I just need to vent sometimes and ask for solutions. This board is probably the most insightful place I've come across on the internet and I figured that someone here might have a perspective on these issues that could help me

[Anonymous No.13615512]

All I do is consume. Never produce. Wake up. Check 4chan. Browse YouTube. Masturbate to media that others create. Create fleeting vague abstract goals, far over the horizon, which collide with one another. My brain must always be flooded with dopamine to placate my childlike desire to evade the oncoming week of mindless toil providing a service to the shareholders which I am not. A disservice to society is all I am.

[Anonymous No.13615530]

It's 5am, I can't get to sleep. There is a light shower outside, and the crickets are chirping. My tea is almost cool enough to drink. A city bus goes past every ten minutes, the only vehicle I've seen

[Anonymous No.13615629]

>>13614458
Loss of hope is quite distinct though. Wasted my entire 20s.

[Anonymous No.13615661]

I want to beat a fucking tranny until death. I want to punch a tranny's face until it becomes a red mass of meat

[Anonymous No.13615727]

>>13615661
why?

[Anonymous No.13615743]

>>13610550
Anecdotes and attention seeking are not /lit.

[Anonymous No.13615789]

>>13615661
that's nice, but I hope you don't consider yourself morally superior.