write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.13512993]

I'll actually read it edition

[Anonymous No.13513002]

I thought cumbrain was a meme but I think my brain might actually be getting fried. I need to get off the Internet. Also how do I get rid of my sugar addiction?

[Anonymous No.13513024]

Iambic tetrameter is hugely underrated.
>The cumbrain post you see above
>Betrays a soul bereft of love;
>Not others' love he lacks; but he
>Can ne'er in self find blessed peace.

[Anonymous No.13513061]

>>13513002
Don't eat sugar. You don't want to end up like a fat person. Overweight people make me sick. Should be deported to camps.

[Anonymous No.13513063]

im not sure if i have a cowlick/hair swirl or if my hair is thinning. very scared

[Anonymous No.13513067]

>>13513024
Check out Melville's Clarel.

[Anonymous No.13513070]

>>13512993
Is it acceptable to write about a completely different culture other than your own for a novel providing you do the research. I had an idea, but I’m afraid people will take one look at my very white American name, then say I’m not qualified to be talking about it. It would be about Chinese politics, for clarification.

[Anonymous No.13513075]

>>13513070
Do what you fucking want. Jesus.

[Anonymous No.13513080]

>>13513063
Invest in a toupee, cueball.

[Anonymous No.13513086]

>>13513063
Take pic and observe. If you can see scalp you've already lost 50% of your hair.

Solution:
Cheap Finasteride,Dermaroller and Minoxidil
For cheap Fin download Lemonaid app. Google Lemonaid app coupon. Apply it.
When you get your prescription from the app download GoodRx for a Fin coupon to apply to your local Wal-Mart Pharmacy.
Cost me like $30 to go from Norwood 2 to 1...

[Anonymous No.13513089]

>>13513067
Thanks for the rec, seems interesting.

[Anonymous No.13513104]

I am feeling increasingly alienated from our contemporary life. I'm in my early 20s in the US go to school, work a normal job and for my own sake prefer not to have many friends though I do like people in general. All of my favorite people are dead, all my writers, composers, thinkers and so on. I've completely missed the brainwash influence of television and contemporary music and have no interest in most social gatherings. I don't like feeling stupid from alcohol and I don't need drugs. I've been obsessed with Shakespeare and Joyce and their eras of literature and I know that most people don't understand the Rennaisance or the Modernists. Professors are disappointing. And afterall, life will end soon enough. I feel least alone in my imagination but I'm not fargone enough to ignore what that means.

[Anonymous No.13513106]

Everything is so shitty, my baby sister dresses like a white these days and goes to raves and nothing I can do will protect her from the men she thinks will make her happy. God damn. I just want my goofy, missing tooth baby sister back. It's like a dagger straight to my heart, everything you love will be taken away from you and soiled by people that absolutely hate you. I don't even know who to blame: the media, devils, Jews, capitalists? This modern world is so confusing, you can't even tell who your real enemies are anymore

[Anonymous No.13513109]

>>13513106
Like a white*
(Google will promote all manner of degeneracy these days but doesn't have the balls to help you write about it properly)

[Anonymous No.13513119]

>>13513086
any side effects from the finasteride? im worried about those in case im already thinning

[Anonymous No.13513125]

On nofap and sexual thoughts are more prevalent. Hopefully it will diminish over time.

[Anonymous No.13513129]

>>13513109
Like a whore
Like a whore
Like a whore

[Anonymous No.13513147]

>>13513106
the media and the jews are the same, the devil uses the jews to do his bidding. capitalism was subverted by the jews.

[Anonymous No.13513151]

>>13512993
I think that life is meaningless because eventually we all die.

[Anonymous No.13513156]

>>13512993
I don't have the effort to continue living nor to kill myself so I wander about my days in a cloud of thoughtlessness.

[Anonymous No.13513165]

i got absolutely fucking rocked in a sparring session by a dude who had half a foot of height on me, now any time i drop something or lose my train of thought i think i have brain damage

[Anonymous No.13513167]

>>13513151
You can only type this because people before you devoted their lives to progressing human achievement. It’s actually better that there’s no “point” since we have infinite potential to do anything. It’s not hard to find YOUR meaning in life. Maybe you’ll invent the thing that makes it able for your great great grandkids to post about how life is meaningless on Chinese cartoon forums using TELEPATHY.

[Anonymous No.13513170]

>>13512993
Tetas de negrita

[Anonymous No.13513178]

>>13512993
When I had that lesson on white privilege in High School it felt like I had been given an old 20th century punishment of writing "I AM THE OPPRESSOR. I AM THE OPPRESSOR." Over and over again.

[Anonymous No.13513182]

>>13513167
>It’s not hard to find YOUR meaning in life
It's harder than you think, and I say this as someone with a good job that contributes to the well being of my community.
>Maybe you’ll invent the thing that makes it able for your great great grandkids to post about how life is meaningless on Chinese cartoon forums using TELEPATHY.
Probably not though.

[Anonymous No.13513191]

>>13513182
You’re not gonna find anything with no goal. If you don’t have passions, make them. You probably have a cursory liking of literature at least. Make it your goal to read X many books or write something you can publish. Any hobbies you have can become that purpose. It doesn’t have to be large, and you don’t have to know it immediately.

[Anonymous No.13513232]

>>13512993
A lot of my life's failings have come forth because I wasn't giving it my all. I had excuses at the ready even before I started failing. I divided my efforts between my writing and my career (and my writing efforts were also half assed. Why did it take me so long to actually sign up for a writing course? So I'd have an excuse to keep writing shittily, of course), and my career failed.
I want to recognize that failing fully, to understand it, and to go forward while actually, for once in my life, doing my best. So many of my friends are brilliant dropouts, and they don't even have the guts to admit that they have sabotaged themselves so that they could keep claiming they are "misfit geniuses".

For a long time I've been pretending, even to my self, that my depression stems from the brutal nature of the world, the horror of living in a universe where cruelty is a fractal, from societies subjugating each other to people just being cunts to tiny blades of grass blotting each other out (and don't even get me started about the game theory of bacteria colonies, that shit is evil). But it was a joke. I was depressed because I prevented from myself any chance of an actual challenge.
I want to give it my best, anon. And if I fail, I will at least be proud of having actually tried.

>how's my grammar though? did I fuck something up?

[Anonymous No.13513247]

>>13513182
The meaning of life is there is no meaning and that's beautiful. There is no God or Hell to hold you back from whatever you would love to pursue in this world. Once you cleanse your mind of the spooks holding you back, your future will seem more beautiful.

[Anonymous No.13513251]

>>13513151
what about a single moment? what about a single day? every thing will wiped away, like a dream, but can't dreams be beautiful?

Tolstoy was in the same hole as you, so you're in good company, but I never understood how all of these smart people could take death so hard when daoist poets figured that shit out 1800 years ago with a smile.
>yes, all you have is today
>make the best out of it
>take a walk, watch the river flow, play the zither if you can get your fingers on one
>chill the fuck out

[Anonymous No.13513260]

>>13513247
t. Bojack Horseman fan, enjoy your calcified pineal gland

[Anonymous No.13513265]

>>13513260
Creating your own meaning in life is a good thing unless you want to be a slave to other people's slave morality and pathetic weakness.

[Anonymous No.13513286]

We landed at dawn, a lot of silence made my feet tremble. I was so happy, I remembered December

[Anonymous No.13513312]

>>13513247

>the meaning of life is (that) there is no meaning and that's beautiful.

Sounds like something straight out of a Brave New World.

[Anonymous No.13513346]

>>13513070
change your last name to Lee

[Anonymous No.13513355]

>>13513070
Nobody will care as long as you can maintain verisimilitude

[Anonymous No.13513357]

>>13513247
want to pursue living a simple life. Maybe moving northeast or as far as Alaska, waking up every day to the smell of pines and melting snow. To take a hike into the wilderness and come back before 8 to eat breakfast at the town's diner. I'll probably juggle a couple jobs or run a few businesses. Maybe take people fishing on a rusty Ford Apache. Rise and sleep to the cues of the sun.

Go to every Sunday Service and maybe volunteer once in a while. To vote for my local Republican every election because he'll lower my taxes and bring some jobs to the state. To eat what I fish and hunt. To go to my local gun store, and buy another shotgun. To be able to see a man dressed as a woman and tell him, " Good Morning, sir."

And to interrupt a tourist wining about the fact that there is no mosque in the vicinity of a 100 miles, and respond
" If you don't like it here, you can go back to where you came from."

[Anonymous No.13513364]

>>13513357
I wish you all the best, anon. I often dream of my far away love and a good, stabler life like that. No shitheads or weaklings within 100 miles. If you can pursue your dreams then I hope things go well.

[Anonymous No.13513376]

>>13513070
Stop being a pussy or use a pseudonym

[Anonymous No.13513398]

I keep telling myself I want to do some hobby stuff and make pseudo plans but then get too lazy to actually do it then lament not doing it. A legitimate vicious cycle.

[Anonymous No.13513475]

When do men turn down sex? Is it when they think of their mothers? Their sisters? Even after coming together many times, why at this time do I want to be apart? The difference between the threshold of a woman and a daughter is enough to bring man down on his knees. Why do little children, boys and girls all over the world, suffer for the sins of their mother only to be delivered a crushing blow by their father's member?

[Anonymous No.13513488]

>>13513475
Because the women are ugly as sin and don't follow the orders they were issued.

[Anonymous No.13513491]

>>13513002
>>13513125
Is there any evidence or reason to do no fap or whatever. I see it shilled all the time but I never see why other than it's a cure all for all emotional problems.

[Anonymous No.13513529]

I’m so fucking incredibly tired /lit/. The kind that sleep doesn’t fix. After all my philosophizing and theorizing and reading tomes and tomes of metaphysics and ethics and epistemology and ontology I have come to this conclusion.

Life has no inherent purpose beyond its own propagation, nothing has any meaning beyond the meaning that you perscribe to it. Books, movies, art, music, love, sex, fun, parties, drinking, girlfriends, boyfriends, God, no-God, friends, feelings, thinking, running, swimming, knitting, woodworking, smelting, cuddling, smelling, cooking, eating, crying, fishing, mowing, winning, losing, drawing, dying, living, breathing, fucking, buying, eating, decorating, designing, sculpting, painting, writing, talking, learning, and even being itself has no essence beyond what YOU, yes, YOU ANON tell it that it has. You are ultimately the master and creator of your own fate, the cosmic architect of value. Each day in the decisions you make you sculpt your reality, you refine your own personal philosophy every time you choose to have steak over chicken, or reading over excercising, or any other vise versa or combination imaginable. Everything else is because YOU are. Just like God in the Bible says “I am” to denote himself, in your actions and words let those words “I AM”

[Anonymous No.13513530]

>>13513475
sex isn't enjoyable enough to just abandon any and all reason

[Anonymous No.13513534]

>>13513529
whatever, faggot

[Anonymous No.13513548]

>>13513232
You’ll make it anon

[Anonymous No.13513566]

Migraines, constant migraines. I think linked to bipolar. Just constant pain in my head. Sometimes unbearable sometimes OK but always there. Neck so stiff. Nauseous.

I want to delete everything. Find God. Move to the beach. Travel back in time and fuck as a teenager. Fuck more now. Feel bad. Judge myself in relation to others by metrics I know are bullshit. Know others are unhappy but still strive to be like them. Surplus enjoyment. I should shave my head.

[Anonymous No.13513592]

>>13513529
It took all that to come to such an obvious conclusion? Wow anon, you're as insightful as a 15 year old

[Anonymous No.13513631]

What are men to rocks and mountains?

[Anonymous No.13513646]

hubba loo la
i unground t

[Anonymous No.13513652]

>>13513631
trees and flowers

[Anonymous No.13513664]

i wish people on here would stop talking about how life has no meaning. it negates so many aspects of reality and is basically the mental equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot

[Anonymous No.13513673]

Ciggarettes and caffeine
Hypertension for cheap.
Allows me to feel something.
The abuse on my body gives my brain a break. Allows me to ignore the screaming from my heart.

[Anonymous No.13513675]

these threads always read like a shitty Dazai novel. You'd think people who spend all their time absorbing literature and discussing it would have more to say about life than "I'm a mid-twenty sack of shit nihilist exprotestant oompaloomer and i'm so sad and i'll never do anything in life. how do i kill myself in the most aesthetic way?" none of you do or say anything of value and even though you all recognize it you do nothing about it. makes me sick

of course none of this applies to me. i'm:
>smart
>handsome
>intelligent
>have a decent penis size
>read frequently
>gainfully employed
>in college
>people generally like to be around me
>can control my powerlevel

this board is almost as bad as /mu/ goddamn

[Anonymous No.13513688]

I'm thinking about reworking the little notes from my "dream diary". It's actually just short notes on my phone I type in when I wake up from a dream but the memories are usually very fresh then and not faded yet.
Not sure about the narrative angle yet though since they are all short and first person.
They are all rather original in nature compared to the other stuff my mind makes up when conscious so I'm reluctant to just let them go.

Are there some published dream diaries out there? I'd like to see how others do it.

[Anonymous No.13513692]

>>13513675
>none of you do or say anything of value
You should have something of value to say, especially considering you call yourself smart on 4chan

[Anonymous No.13513710]

>>13513692
of course i have something important to say. i am after all a professional quote maker

[Anonymous No.13513813]

Is it just me or is the NPC thing 101% true, and at a much deeper level than even the jokey memes usually go? I can't really articulate it, but it's like the average "normal" person is a combination of completely docile on the one hand, and absolutely fucking wired on the other. They're super positive and intensely focused and enthusiastic, but all it's focused in on... nothing. They're just totally focused on whatever mundane shit is in front of their face.

And if you try to pry them away from it, you get complete resistance. I mostly hang out with rich people and people in university, with lots of leisure time and plenty of incentive to think, and they're MORE docile and retarded than the dregs. Every single person has default opinions, a default outlook, default hobbies, default interests. Everyone is perfectly happy to be like everybody else.

[Anonymous No.13513821]

>>13513813
Most people have always been mediocre, simple, expendable and worthless. This has always been the case. Brainless NPC dipshit is just how the average really is.

[Anonymous No.13513831]

>>13513821
But how is it fucking possible that it's EVERYBODY? How isn't it the case that the smarter you get, or the more smarts your vocation requires, the likelier you are to break the conditioning? It wouldn't even have to be a huge chance, just an increase of 0.1% for every 10 points of IQ, so that at least a handful of people at the upper echelons would be decent. Absolutely speaking, there would still be relatively many people who aren't "hollow." It feels like the opposite.

If you back to to any period before WW2, you find circles of eclectics and fellow travelers who somehow managed to find eachother. Where the fuck is that now?

Similarly, if you go back to the 19th century, even the most average public intellectual was capable of speech that would be considered astonishingly articulate by today's standards. I could understand if the relative number of these people declined, but it's strange to me that even the top of today's "pyramid" of intellectual distribution can't compete with the middle ranks of yesterday's.

[Anonymous No.13513834]

>>13513106
By Allah beat the whore.

[Anonymous No.13513837]

What the hell am I supposed to do here?
Should I study? Should I read a book? But these things are too boring...
Wish I had friends and a girlfriend.

[Anonymous No.13513845]

It's been 3 month since i left my gf and everything behind in London and went to a monastery to become a monk in eastern Europe

It's been 2 months since i came back home from the monastery

It's been 1 month since i joined the local church in order to work my way to become a priest

The wait and the uncertainty of what awaits me gives me daily anxiety but i am fully prepared to embrace whatever God has in plan for me

[Anonymous No.13513871]

>>13512993
tiddies

[Anonymous No.13514006]

A great many people are delusional I feel, including myself. In their vain attempts to 'get rid of bad habits' they often aren't even aware how much rationalization their minds go through to prevent this process. Often this is so effective that they're convinced it's simply a regular opinion they have on a certain subject and not some type of flimsy justification.
As an example, I know a fellow who keeps telling me he's trying what he can to reduce the time and frequency of his masturbation habit, yet he very plainly claims that hentai, specifically hentai or rather the drawn variety of pornography, is art. The only question is whether it can be 'high art'. Now that's all fine and good, though there's plenty to disagree with regarding that statement, but doesn't that stance imply that he sees some form of intrinsic value in the medium? Nobody who isn't interested in the arts would go to claim that something as relatively inconsequential as hentai falls under that category. If he sees intrinsic value in it, then doesn't that subconsciously pull him back into perusing what the medium has to offer, and almost without fail leads into another session of fapping for up to a maximum of 4 straight hours?
I just find it dubious that anyone can rid themselves of an addiction while holding such a lofty opinion of the medium through which it is realized.

[Anonymous No.13514048]

Touching my moustache is causing surprising severe pain

[Anonymous No.13514077]

>>13513837
stop posting pictures of clearly underage chinese animation characters on edgy internet imageboard and maybe you'll have one

[Anonymous No.13514221]

>>13513831
>talking about smarts
>mention IQ

into the brainlet trash it goes. you're no better than the npcs.

[Anonymous No.13514230]

>>13514221
IQ exists, Marxist. Deal with it. Africa is borderline-retarded as a continent.

[Anonymous No.13514297]

>everything on 4chan is either falseflagging or immediate accusations of shilling ultimately ending with your typical 'tranny' or 'incel' go-to
>everything outside of 4chan like twitter and reddit are hellish zones where the only thing you're allowed to criticize is capitalism and maybe trump
I used to make friends so easily, now it's just so fucking hard. Even when I meet someone nice they end up going apeshit over retarded reasons like you not liking the same game or appreciating his waifu or whatever. I'm not sure if I'm getting old or if the zoomers are just retarded. Sometimes I'll just read a post and I KNOW what Fortnite zoomer or Reddit-emigree boomer wrote it. Even friends I had that used to be nice guys have turned into drones that spend all their time in Discord threads or just link me Stefan Molyneux tier YouTube content. And the few friends that I have that are still interesting and compelling are all taking their studies or even vidya so seriously that they're practically dead for 99% of the day apart from the occasional log in. /lit/ is also infested with a bunch of fucking brainlets that have just discovered reading, as well as unironic Christfags that think having listened to two podcasts about Aquinas and Aristotle makes them popes now. Oh, and /sffg/ is has people that legitimately enjoy Brandon Sanderson's books and thinks they're fun. I can't think of a single place on the internet I still enjoy going to. I feel talking to random housewives that are into books would be way more satisfying than anyone from /lit/ at this point.

[Anonymous No.13514304]

Unable to commit to my desires, rather consumed by the little nonsense in life. I'm a weak man. I can't hold a job or be a stable functioning human, and I hate myself for it. I keep telling myself "I'm a writer. At least i have this one thing." It's just a meme at this point. One more year. This time i'll really try.

[Anonymous No.13514312]

>>13513491
It's a brosicence internet reaction to the overuse of porn by 14-35 years old males in the West and Asia, compounded with a yearning for a return to asceticism and some /lit/ LARPing about ancint magical wisdom.
I'd say it's worth a try if you spend too much time and thoughts on porn. It's also babby's first self-discipline.

[Anonymous No.13514313]

I want a gf who studied English at Oxford

[Anonymous No.13514316]

>>13514230
>IQ exists.
It has nothing to do with intelligence, though. Or well, let me put it this way, it has nothing to do with wisdom. You could have a high IQ and still be some redneck-tier retard that watches YouTube docs about flat earth and flying saucers. There are a lot of other factors that make up for a lower IQ, especially experience and just your general mental wellbeing. It's not an accident that so many people with high-IQs end up believing in some dopey-ass shit. Just look at how many physicists there are that have some absolutely cringy spiritual beliefs. There are people that practice medicine on the highest levels and have IQs of 140+ and yet deny evolution.
IQ does matter, but coming from a healthy environment and not being mentally ill matters way more.

[Anonymous No.13514320]

>>13513312
No, BNW is a very constrained society, their meaning is following their programming all day life. So it's not 'there's no meaning', but 'meaning has already been decided, don't bother asking', pretty much the opposite of what anon said.

[Anonymous No.13514321]

>>13514230
t. brainlet

[Anonymous No.13514333]

>>13513529
Sometimes I wonder if /lit/ is not an experiment to prove metaphysics are a waste of time.
What have you read anon? I'm curious to pursue your path (although I would partially disagree with your conclusions).

Also, have you considered that reading doesn't really changes your life unless it leds you to change your habits and you condition of living? Reading Shankara or Schopenhauer or Hegel won't do shit if you're still spending all your time reading in your room. Meanwhile a year in the military will probably change you, for better or worse.

[Anonymous No.13514348]

>>13513631
Ants that slowly eat them alive.

[Anonymous No.13514353]

>>13513675
I'm 19 years old.

I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.

I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.

I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.

I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.

Both my parents are alive and in good health.

I have no regrets.

I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.

I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.

I will live a good life at your expense.

[Anonymous No.13514366]

>>13514353
>I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

I missed this pasta

[Anonymous No.13514424]

>>13513813
>>13513821
>>13513831
You probably don't know those people as much as you think you do (and you certainly have only a very small and nonrepresentative sample of the human population).

As for the "conditioning", think of it this way: humans mostly don't need high-minded "meaning" in their lives, that's a philosophical abstraction philosophers came up with because they don't know how else to engage with problems.

What human needs, as partially rational (but mostly social and irrational) animals is, like any animal, a measure of equilibrium with their environment: homeostatis.

Since human are social and capable of abstract thought and self-awareness their need for homeostasis also applies to the feeling of significance relative to their environment: people need to feel like they're a not insignificant part of their own world and recognized by others for what they think they are (or perhaps what they think they should be). Most people don't need fame or acclaim, but being considered a parasite or an inferior by your peers is hard on almost everyone.

That's why rich people who are shunned by (or significantly less rich than) their rich friends are often miserable, while poorfag in tight-knit communiy can be happy. In none of those two cases does rational meaning or, say, theology get in play.

In others words: human only need their basic needs to be fulfilled, but not all those needs are purely materialistic, many of them are social and psychological.

Would it be smart for well-adjusted people, in that kind of friendly environment, to start criticizing it because it doesn't fit some barely consistent hamfisted "rational" criteria of how things should be? Of course not. That'd be foolish ratiocination at its worst.
The reason some people engage in it is mostly because of their own egos, that is, their need for recognition are not properly satisfied because they vastly exceed what their community is reasonably able to provide. You could not too inaccurately claim they're being entitled little cunts. You would expect teenagers (particularly males) to be overrepresented in that crowd, and indeed that turns out to be the case.

Now as for why some people turn, after all, to theology, philosophy, religion and search for meaning in general - they're in most cases people whose world was harsh or became brutally broken at some point. This damaged their ability to trust their small-scale environment and prompted them to search for homeostatis at a higher scale. That's the motivation behind every theodicy, which is merely rationalization of the wishful thinking that local chaos must be but the consequence of global homeostatis. Most other cases are people who are naturally in pain or in lack of something, people whose constitution makes homoestasis impossible or hard to reach.

>>13513106
People grow up, stop being a bitch and learn to treat your sister like the adult she's bound to become. Also smack your parents for how they raised her.

[Anonymous No.13514509]

>>13514366
It really needs to be revived.

[Anonymous No.13514552]

This whole thread was painful to read. My respect of /lit/ is non-existent at this point I don't think I'm coming back here

[Anonymous No.13514562]

>>13513688
I also record my dreams and I’ve been toying with the same idea

[Anonymous No.13514587]

I have this app called Moon+ Reader on my phone. It has a nice bookshelf design and allows you to add and read different file formats. It's private, meaning no online account, except for ads that pop up if there's an internet connection,. Your phone is your account.

After years of using the Moon+ Reder, I gave Amazon Kindle a shot today. It has maybe a more sophisticated software architecture and visual design, but there's one thing that made me uninstall it. It wasn't the Amazon account/login, but when you login into the app, select the categories and rate some books, there's a section about the most read/most popular books in a category. What looks like a good way to discover new books and writers, is for me the world crashing into something that was a completely private part of my life.

Inviting the world in is a mistake. I don't need those recommendations, I have enough the way things are.

[Anonymous No.13514588]

>>13514552
Agreed.

[Anonymous No.13514595]

When I looked out from the window of the library I saw water dropping from the AC unit above.
I noticed that the shadow of the drop appeared slow, because it had to meet the water drop at the same time as the drop hit the ground. The same amount of time but the showdow travels the shorter distance so it appeared slower

...am I scientifically literate now?

[Anonymous No.13514599]

I miss the feeling books used to give me, like I was holding some magical construct that could capture the universe. When I first started reading on my own on in my teens, it was a salvation. A rescue from the difficult circumstances of my life, a total and complete revolution. Now they are mundane things to me, perhaps because I came to see that their powers are limited. They aren't quite inert, they have just lost their mystic quality. They no longer send an electric charge crackling through me when I pick them up. Perhaps my mental revolution has already transpired, but if that's the case, the changing of the guard hasn't left me changed.

[Anonymous No.13514606]

>>13514552
Why you would ever have respect for any board as a whole is beyond me, though I would like to know what you consider the worst offender here.

[Anonymous No.13514615]

>>13513529
Yeah, philosophy is a HUGE waste of time, and there's absolutely no return on your investment. At least with normal literature you might develop better speaking/writing skills, and people might be interested. Nobody gives a fuck about philosophy except people that are already into it.

[Anonymous No.13514621]

>>13514599
I can't relate to this. Few hours ago I was reading about the feelings of a dad who's about to lose his child. I always treat something like this like I'm hearing about it for the first time.

When I stumble upon a crime story and think "yeah, the usual, someone killed something" is for me a sign that I'm not moving towards the place I want to be at.

Basically the quote from Mann, where he says that one should always try to see even the most ordinary things with new eyes.

[Anonymous No.13514682]

>>13512993
I'm despondent.

[Anonymous No.13514733]

>>13514621
I really don't care.

[Anonymous No.13514738]

I have a right to feel glorious. My mind has gone places no one has before. Why am I on 4chan then? We all have our guilty pleasures.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl8DQG5oCXg

[Anonymous No.13514840]

Do I really have to become a fascist just to not have children of extremely impressionable age be volunteered by their parents to go get read to by creepy drag queens in full drag in a public library that is funded by public money? Seriously?

Like really? This the only option left?

It is the event horizon for society, the absolute minimum of conduct that is acceptable for a human being; "Don't abuse children." It is the lowest possible bar and apparently we can no longer meet this bar and I am a fascist for wanting us to.

Well fine then. I finally see the light.

[Anonymous No.13514845]

I'm about to try ayhuasca this weekned and I'm getting super anxious about it. I've had two great experiences with shrooms, but my last trip was so horrible. I was with my young brother and right at the beggining I could see that it was going south but I just froze, because it was so intense that I couldn't do anything. After the regular ego death shit, I was feeling just... empty. I guess there's no better word do describe. It was like I was possessed and not in control of my toughts or body and just sat there observing myself and thinking "what should I feel now?". Then I felt so alone, like I was the last person on earth. Then I looked at my brother and he was just gone, I could see that he was having a hard time and when asked him "is everything ok?" he just said "no" and started crying. I didn't knew what to do, so I tried to mantain a conversation with him, but it was like he had some brief moments of sanity when he could awsner me right and then he would fall into a trance and start repeting "why don't you save me? why you don't wake me up?" Oh god, it was terriyng, all I could think was "wtf is happening on his head for him to say stuff like that?" and I spend the rest of the night taking care of him. Later he told me he tought he was dead. From that experience the only thing I've got it was that I should try harder to make friends and mantain the ones I already have. People, unfortunately, are everything in life. One day you will be in need of company, for a reason or another and I just can't imagine not having anyone. I don't feel lonely on my day to day life, even tough I don't have that many friends, but I just know that one day I will need people in my life and tha's kinda scares me when I think about it. Also, the friends you make in 20s is probably the people you will hang out for the rest of your life and it's definetely going to be harder to make new friends on your 30s. Anyway, going back to my original post, this ayhuasca thing is getting me anxious mostly because it will be my first experience with this thing, but I hope it will put me back on the right path, like my first shroom trip did it. I feel like I need to face some problems and I hope to face them this weekned. I know it's going to be at least an intense and emotional experience, but I guess I'm ready for it.

[Anonymous No.13514856]

>>13514599
Once I found I can read some books. I began to read for vanity. There were books that really opened my eyes but I cannot continue reading them for more than half an hour. There were some books I can't even open them. The main issue is I knew too little about everything including myself so my reading ran into problems all the time.

Gradually I built the ability to read longer and make a small booklist that can help me learn something before my steam run out, and the ability to turn what I read in this cycle to become the drive to start the next cycle.
I appreciate this ability. I used to look at a bunch of books, feeling both attracted to and annoyed by it. Now I more or less know what I am interested in for the moment and can move on to other topics when I notice I am actually not interested in what I planned to read for the moment. The reading experience becomes better.

[Anonymous No.13514902]

>>13514856
>so my reading ran into problems all the time.
In the uni I went to there were some brick-sized encyclopedia. After 10 years I finally learned how to use them. I probably should have learned it earlier.

[Anonymous No.13514916]

What a truly wonderful existence.

[Anonymous No.13514926]

>>13514297
>I can't think of a single place on the internet I still enjoy going to.
yep

[Anonymous No.13514935]

>>13514916
i'm glad someone's having a good time

[Anonymous No.13514999]

>>13514840
everything has become a political arms race. the left tried got overconfident from the acceptance of the gay rights movement and thought it could rush the trans rights movement with no discussion or public education. needless to say, ignorant people were thrown into a new world with no warning and responded to getting chastized for something they hadn't been educated about by turning against, becoming resentful of feminism and the LGBT community and closing themselves off to further change. in response, the far right came into power and quickly started doing what it does best and attacking marginalized communties. in response, those marginalized communties started going out of their way to be as bold and iconoclastic as possible as a means of defiance

the end result is that both sides are going too far, and while I still find myself on the left and still can never abide by what the right has done, I can't deny that we started this shit

[Anonymous No.13515031]

>>13512993
I cannot understand meter fully; how the fuck am I supposed to tell if a syllable is heavy, sure I can 'tell', but its not definite.
I haven't written any poetry for months because of this, but it has forced me to begin writing prose.

[Anonymous No.13515042]

>>13515031
I have shit grammar too, so I've cornered myself into ineptitude.

[UncleB No.13515046]

>>13512993
sometimes I wish I were gay. I have had close guy friends and two of them even kissed me a peck on the lips we were so close. those days are behind me but i just don't think i could support a beautiful woman and i wont settle for less than a beautiful woman. being friends with a guy is different since i am not attracted to men.

[Anonymous No.13515061]

>>13514999
>the far right came into power and quickly started doing what it does best and attacking marginalized communties.
You are a complete brainlet if you think this absolutely happened. Trump is a left wing president buddy

[Anonymous No.13515132]

>>13515061
you literally have no idea what you're talking about and should probably have the bare minimal understanding of politics before speaking

[Anonymous No.13515284]

>>13514999
While I can appreciate an attempt at reconciliation, the time for that is long past. As long as you so much as use the phrase ((("marginalized communities"))) unironically, you have made American Civil War 2.0 and very likely WWIII hopelessly inevitable beyond repair. I applauded loudly and publicly when gays got the right to marry nationwide. I see now what a mistake that was. God has turned his back to humanity.

[Anonymous No.13515299]

It's too hot to read. I can't concentrate.

[Anonymous No.13515323]

>>13513104
Take 6 grams of psilocybin mushrooms. You'll have a hell of a trip.
>And afterall, life will end soon enough
That is one way to look at it my friend. But you still are very young. Life may look bleak for you know but you'll find something worth while to get involved in. Do drugs and go to your college's philosophy club, its the most productive thing you can do at this stage in life.

[Anonymous No.13515334]

>>13514840
> "Don't abuse children."
It's a pretty recent idea, children in the past were often seen as disposable. See what Philippe Murray (shit philosopher, but on that count he had a point) had to say about our obsession with adoring children and putting them above everything.

You're also being overdramatic, children don't even understand what a dragqueen is, all they see is some funnily dressed person reading to them. Children are used to people disguising themselves, I don't expect most of them to be much impressed.
If you want to crusade against child abuse be serious and start looking at how social services operate and what kind of shit they deal with. But of course that requires work and not merely outrage.

[Anonymous No.13515340]

>>13514424
Oh my god. The first post worth saving I've seen on this website. What particular walk of life do you come from; who's ideas do you subscribe to?

[Anonymous No.13515362]

>>13515334
I'd give a kidney for it to be hyperbole. Any creature that supports this deserves the disgust of civilization, not the endorsement of it. And if society does endorse it, than it too deserves the most extreme scorn just men can pour upon it

[Anonymous No.13515368]

My girlfriend is a chirst cuck and comes from an extremely socially conservative family. She is a self-hating bisexual and thinks its immoral to act on sexual urges. How do I help her incorporate her sexual urges into her life, for her and my benefit. I don't believe in God and think that she has spooks in her head placed there by American culture. How do I de-spook-ify someone? In such a way to help them grow as a person and form a more healthy psyche.

[Anonymous No.13515398]

>>13515362

[Anonymous No.13515424]

>>13515362
>>13515398
I agree with the other dude. It's an adult human giving physical and emotional affection to a child, which is a psychologically positive circumstance. From a child's perspective they see an adult that is acting either like a circus clown or acting like their silly uncle who spoils them with affection. They would see this adult as a friend that wants to play with them.

I want to ask you why if the outcome of the interaction is positive for the child why would you have apprehension? Why do we need children to only interact with "normal" adults all the time. Its hard to believe this one afternoon at a library with a gender non-conforming person would alter their sense of self at all.

[Anonymous No.13515429]

>>13514935
Thanks anon, are you having a good time?

[Anonymous No.13515433]

>>13512993
If only Kircheis were here.

[Anonymous No.13515523]

>>13515424
You belong in the fire as well and I'd happily chuck you thus myself.

[Anonymous No.13515555]

>>13515523

[Anonymous No.13515572]

>>13515340
1/2
I'm pleased you like it, it's an idea I'm still developing, it's not easy.
The question is "what is the background for our statements" ? It's as if ideas, opinions, even logical systems are embedded in some kind of territory that must exit for language and assertions to take place. And that territory is not the same for everyone (when a mathematician says "root", it doesn't conjures the same mental relations as when a farmer says the same word), and it can change over time...still if you want to understand the words, you need to explore the territory. It's analogous to how city-dwellers and countryside people have trouble meeting eye-to-eye, because they ignore each other's territory.

It's unclear whether that territory is connected to some underlying metaphysical reality. It appears to be rather contextual, mutable, and open to influences. There's a very self-referential quality about it, a good chess player for instance know when a move is "beautiful", but he knows it because he's been studying the moves that were considered beautiful by the masters, and the masters themselves studied what their own masters liked, and yet one is a master when one can make beautiful moves. For the uninitated it doesn't make sense, yet the amazement of the chess player is genuine: the "sense of beauty of chess moves" has been made part of his territory, through pains of long study. It's both private and collective, self-propelled and rooted in deeper structures.

So a judgment is best understood as something that lives in a territory of its own, that includes other judgment, but most improtantly things below the realm of judgment: even formal logic makes sense because of background, ultimately nonformal intuitions. And it gets really puzzling and fascinating when you get into the interplay of form and intuition (a same form yields many intuition, a single intuition can be reformulated many times over).

I suppose category theory offers a nice way to think formally about it, but no mathematics can fully grasp it precisely because the territory is about all possible implicit intuitive backgrounds, and the chief operation of mathematics is flattening different intuitions into a same structure (there are lot of intuitions in maths, but they belong to a particularly general class of intuitions). Maths grasp the form, but it can't render the flavor.
I'm still trying to piece it all into something coherent honestly. Might keep me busy for a few years.

The consequence of all this is we forget the territory (that is always naturally hidden and imo cannot be completely elucidated, though it can be explored) and thus we apply judgment outside of their natural terroritory, which is the root of misgeneralization, like in the example of wondering why humans are the only ones to do human-like things. Keep in mind misgeneralization is in practice unavoidable, and all empirical science is about coping with and harnessing that fact.

[Anonymous No.13515578]

>>13515572
2/2
>What particular walk of life do you come from; who's ideas do you subscribe to?
I'm a French guy in his late 20s doing a PhD in stats and hating it. I love maths and even stats, but my own PhD sadly has too little of it, a bad career move you could say. I've spent a good deal of the past 22 years reading, and I always try to talk to various people and get different point of view. it's amazing how some random waiter can sometimes make alive an idea that you never had, or one that you always dismissed as stupid.
I'd like to spend some of the next decades exploring the idea described in this post, but I'm not sure I'll have the means and patience to make it.

>who's ideas do you subscribe to?
I've always felt there is some subtle but crucial remainder that is lost in the construction of any theory, and I've come to accept that it is pretty much the task of philosophy (and to a lesser extent science) to try to narrow down that remainder as precisely as possible. So theorization is an open-ended and perpetually flawed endeavour in any honest field of inquiry. This makes me unable to really suscribe to ideas, not that I like being an edgy contrarian (I am rather stupidly prone to liking nice ideas, and I want to agree with anyone who has something interesting to sy, but I can't).

Theory are still worthwhile, and they have an aesthetic of their own, but I'd avoid relying on a single one or even relying strictly on theorizing. In a way philosophy is a creative pursuit, you can never be absolutely right, so better be perceptive and vigorous. A good philsopher is like a good painter, nobody asks painters to paint everything, they only have to give you a few good pictures.

Now to answer more precisely your question, the only philosophers I've seriously read are Kant, Nietzsche, Pascal, Brentano and a bit of Wittgenstein. I like them all, in a sense they're all right (and they all have terrible flaws), but they are teachers you should spare with, not gurus.
There are many authors I like, but the one I try to emulate most are Dante, Poe, Baudelaire, Dostoievsky, Bernanos, Stendhal and Villiers de L'Isle Adam. Baudelaire and Villiers in particular I consider (quite pretentiously, I admit) to be my literary ancestors, that is, I'd like one day to be able to trace a literary lineage from them to me. So if you know any recent author that can be considered their heir, please feed me his book right now.

[Anonymous No.13515612]

>>13515424
I think anon might be concerned about the adult's motives. We regulate adult behaviour towards children, so it doesn't matter if your funny uncle didn't scare you while you sucked him off for lollipops, it matters your uncle wants kids to suck him off.

[Anonymous No.13515655]

>>13512993
I think i should be come a scholar, i went into business because i feared poverty i didn't want to end up a man at 30, head full of latin verbs and Arabic morphology and pockets empty. Its been three years soon to be four and I havent achieved anything I still dont have a steady job, finance and accounting makes me misérable, human resources is pain and I cruse the day that I wake to, but yesterday I sat down picked up my old Hebrew books, wrote out the alphabet and a few simple sentences, did the same for classical Arabic and latin. I finished off the day with some Polybius and Bible readings and I went to bed happy for the first time in three years.

Unlike my school work i dont procastinate when it comes to such things I will sit down without food for four or five hours in a row to get my latin right but ask me to calculate markdown or trade discounts or to write the thousandth essay on the use of social media in business and...... I met a person at college that I could hold a conversation with we talked about Hobbes,Locke,Islamic theology, Hebrew grammar for the first time in three years I have experienced another emotion besides boredom and disgust.

yet I dont want to just drop out of this course, I know its sunk cost fallacy but I dont ever have to work in a service job ever again and a degree here would open up Administration or management. in addition i am still neverous about the job market for scholars, if i have no job i would be dependent & my father was depend on people who abused and used his labour so he drank himself to death. my mother hates her job, she would much rather be a historian, but it pays the bills we live tolerably and she is successfully putting five children through higher education but she isnt happy. should that be me unhappy but full or happy and hungry?

I

[Anonymous No.13515685]

>>13515572
>The question is "what is the background for our statements" ? It's as if ideas, opinions, even logical systems are embedded in some kind of territory that must exit for language and assertions to take place. And that territory is not the same for everyone (when a mathematician says "root", it doesn't conjures the same mental relations as when a farmer says the same word), and it can change over time...still if you want to understand the words, you need to explore the territory. It's analogous to how city-dwellers and countryside people have trouble meeting eye-to-eye, because they ignore each other's territory.

I think an important addition to the idea of external environment shaping a person is the inner mental environment that develops from playing game reality. The scale of the internal environment of the mind is equal to the scale of the external reality we perceive with our senses. We observe only the parts of reality that are close and visible to us. This limited pool of experience imprints itself onto the psyche of the person.

Think Jungian or even Jamesian psychology. In the former we see evidence of the internal system of meaningful symbols individuals take from their lives and internalize. Modern Americans think of Jesus-like qualities when you ask them to describe a "Messiah Figure", and Eastern peoples will likely describe qualities of Siddhartha Gautama. In the case of the latter we see the impression of external environment on the development of an individuals mechanical and mental habits. Behaviors which manifest into an individual "subconsciously", whether this term sufficiently describes this occurrence or not. Similar to the way you can train a dog to salivate at the blow of a whistle, modern women salivate when their phone alarm reminds them to take their birth control.

As you highlighted, this leads to individuals of drastically different backgrounds to operate on a totally different internal logic. You can have to individuals adapt to their environments and come out with different values, behaviors, and goals. Then these two individuals have the potential to leave the environment that cultivated them and become challenged by the difference of the environment and individuals elsewhere.

This has the potential of course to lead to violence between individuals and groups of unified identity, but only to the unprepared society. I think if we modified education globally to integrate values that allow for difference of opinion and behavior we could limit or mitigate the amount of inter-group violence.

>And it gets really puzzling and fascinating when you get into the interplay of form and intuition (a same form yields many intuition, a single intuition can be reformulated many times over).

Would you mind elaborating on this point a little? I am somewhat familiar with Platonic forms and the root philosophy of category theory.

[Anonymous No.13515692]

>>13515612
I don't think a drag queen reading at a public library to school children necessarily will lead to any molestation. If you want to determine the objective of this person you can either ask them or speculate for yourself. My only issue with the latter process being why does it always seem if you're gender non-conforming you want to diddle kids everytime you're around them?

[Anonymous No.13515851]

>>13515685
Interesting, what do you recommend as an intro to Jungian and Jamesian psychology? Particularly the later.

>Would you mind elaborating on this point a little?
It's not very advanced yet. Only some intuitions I've developed by studying maths. A lot of maths is formalizing intuitions, writing them down in explicit terms so that they can be communicated and dealt with precisely.
This amounts to developing some kind of formal lanuage to describe things.
But, like the game of chess in my above post, the formal language has its own logic, its own internal mechanic. And that mechanic, when pursued or developed far enough, can not only stray fr the original intuition, it can be applied to completely different intuitions, sometimes even the intuitive content can be lost.
See for instance the works of Maryam Mirzakhani, the first female Fields Medal laureate. Her works are way above my head, but for what I understand she developped ways to intuitivey represent moduli space, something that was believed impossible but most specialist in her field, who had grown to accept that modul space are abstract object that can be formally manipulated but not represented intuitively. So in this case the intuition followed the formalism. You can also think of Kripke's semantic for modal logic: the original intuition of modal logic is that there is a natural distinction between contingent and necessary assertion, Kripke proposed that modal logic asertion can be interpreted as statements about entities in various worlds, and their necessity and contingence is decided depending on whether they hold in all world or only one of them. Again, two different intuitions for a single formalism.

On the other hand it's not uncommon for mathematician to have several formal systems for a singe intuitive notion, for instance the integral, which formalizes the notion of "area under a curve" and more generally the notion of "volume". There have been many different definitions of integrals throughout history, and depending on the kind of volume you want to compute you will use a definition or another (in R you get more functions with Kurzweil-Henstock integral which is a generalisation of Riemann integral, while if you want to integrate over more exotic spaces you need Lebesgue's integral, which is more general than Riemann's but less so than Kurzweil-Henstock in R).
Likewise the notion of "valid domain" on which an operation can be performed can be formalised via set theory (you can only apply a function on its domain set), or via category (an arrow goes from a domain to a codomain) or via type theory (a function can only be applied to objects of the right type).

Mathematics allows for those differences to be made starkly visible, since it is a discipline grounded on precise formalization of intuition, but that interplay between language and its underlying intuitions happens everywhere.

[Anonymous No.13515867]

>>13512993
>boob implants

[Anonymous No.13515890]

>>13513086

I would want to use Finasteride, but I fear impotence, especially a rare case of permanent impotence.

[Anonymous No.13515895]

>>13515692
It's not just the drag queens who are the adults. There is a reason this is popular and it is because of the parents anxieties about highly sexualized topics. Drag acts for children will be accepted in even the most conservative of countries, but not because the central point is gender non conformity. Dame Edna and Tannie Evita don't get so much focus on their drag so much as their satirisation of false moral superiority, which is why they were able to make people rethink apartheid and AIDS with little opposition from sane people. The parents who want their children to be repeatedly encouraged towards specifically being gender and sexually non conforming and get a special kick out of that are using their children to displace their anxiety about conformity. It's much like the parents who pointedly let their kids go on unchaperoned sleep aways because the local priesthood or scout leadership is under suspicion: if the parents thought drag was as acceptable as Dame Edna was for all of the 1980s, they would not be sending their kids to this. The parents have the same suspicion it could be broadly read by society to be a poor idea, and that is why they want it, because they are more attached to their political views than their kid.
I'll grant some of the parents are there just to get a half hour off too though. They just wouldn't care if it was Nietzsche's read along children's time at the library either so long as they could sit down and not have the kid cry at them.

[Anonymous No.13516228]

>>13514840
Having people in a costume read to children is not child abuse. How spooked are you to believe that? Do you seriously think drag queens (a performance for fun) is seriously something terrible and degenerate when they're doing people favours? They are donating their time and energy to entertain children. They're not doing it with dragon dildos up their arses with cum spurting from the orifice. They're dressing up in clothing.

The entire concept of make and female specific clothing is pretty fucking spooked too. Marketing. Congratulations on being a retard, you mental midge.

[Anonymous No.13516238]

>>13515061
There is nothing even slightly to the "left" when it comes to American politics. Nothing.

[Anonymous No.13516497]

I'll be spending time one on one with an office qt today at work and I'm worried I'll spaghetti it up

[Anonymous No.13516510]

Is there a reading list for Gnosticism?

[Anonymous No.13516571]

>>13515851
Alright, like I mentioned before I have had a few conversations with advanced mathematicians that have explained to me what abstract maths and number theory entails; I also have had experience with the majority of basic calculus curriculum. So I'm beginning to see the use of using mathematics to show a recognition of underlying understanding that doesn't rely on language, in fact language can act as a detriment. Once you have deduced a mathematically accurate object you then make a formal definition of what you have found.

So, are you implying that the un-languaged intuition is the direct result of an individuals experience with a specific game or non-game mathematical object. Like the example of the chess player's insight into a "beautiful" move is a direct result of their personal experience; in this case the chess player also can not explain in language the depth of the intuition they hold. Either that or we lack deep enough communication to truly teach the knowledge intuition has granted us. And this use of "intuition" or "factual mathematics objects" are used in the objective sense. In the way there are objective "good" and "bad" moves you can make in chess.

Now going on to the content of your original post, you suggest that much of what people value in life is what their ego's get out of it. More specifically what I mean is that people are programmed to interact with reality in a variety of ego games that bring "positive outcomes" for them. Positive with the realization that what's positive and valuable to one person is trivially subjective. When it comes to values, hierarchies, careers, relationships, and other ego games, people are nudged by their psychological needs; this concept of needs is different from the psychological valuing and behaving process, think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The truth being, any interaction with reality that lacks rational purity or the concept of objectivity does not have any meaningful consequence on an individual. Meaning, a person could learn to believe from their environment an incorrect fact: the Earth is flat, the moon landing was faked, 2 + 2 = 5. And there is no cosmological repercussion. Individuals merely operate in groups of those who they identify the most with, which usually means who is the most similar to them.

[Anonymous No.13516693]

>>13515851
If you're interested in the psychology of William James you should take a look at his most influential work "The Principles of Psychology". Where in its third section he goes in depth about the nature of humans building habits based off the information they receive from their environment. They receive information that stimulates them physiologically to act. The individual is then driven to act on these feelings. If the individual's action is successful, and thus they receive a positive physiological state then they will for a habit out of any behavior that gives them positive results.

[Anonymous No.13516988]

A sudden and violent death is the exact and perfect opposite of working for a salary in our societies. It is the real "giving back": the completion of the symbolic exchange of the Capital, with us, and would thus "kill" the system in an absolute - and finally complete - potlatch

[Anonymous No.13517053]

>>13512993
I chose the wrong career and have no skills outside of it. I don't and have never really enjoyed living and think the world is going to hell for a variety of reasons. I don't believe in having children and wouldn't be able to support them even if I did.

Knowing all this, is there any reason to live? I don't see one.

[Anonymous No.13517324]

>>13516497
I definitely spaghetti'd a little but I also did good too so hopefully it adds up to endearing

[Anonymous No.13517336]

>>13513631
Men.
Humans are humans to humans.
Dogs are dogs to men.

[Anonymous No.13517458]

>>13517053
>Is there any reason to live?

Bitching about it on the internet doesn't cut it as reason?

[Anonymous No.13517494]

>>13512993
I hope this will do, OP

https://pastebin.com/xpiqZAgB

[Anonymous No.13517557]

>>13517458
Fuck off you prick

[Anonymous No.13517973]

I wonder who i'd be if it wasn't for my occasional (that is, astonishingly frequent and catastrophic) bouts of nihilistic clinical depression.

Nevertheless, my knowledge of such pain leaves me feeling anointed as an elder among my peers. With this dark knowledge I can see past ordinary fears, commonplace sadness. It is, in a way, a nocturnal and and demonic gift.

[Anonymous No.13518001]

>>13514297
Yeah that's a fair summary, though I urge you to just carve out your own slice of the internet if its the case. Neocities, website builders, anything. Post /lit/ threads that you want to see, become the change you wish for

[Anonymous No.13518084]

>life circumstances dramatically improve almost overnight
>no longer suicidally inclined
>worried this is a temporary manic episode
is it possible to be suicidal solely because your life really did suck that badly?

[Anonymous No.13518204]

>>13512993

This is a bit stream-of-consciousness and I apologize in advance. Currently my biggest worry is what to do once I'm done with university. I'm going into my final year now.

I was a loser in high school; few friends, no gf, no real hobbies or interests, pretty much an incel. I realized that I didn't want to live like that forever so I turned myself around in the course of my senior year of high school mentally with the end goal of entering college a new person.

That actually managed to work, somehow. I have a lot of friends at uni, in three different hobby/interest areas, and have had two gfs (though for only about a third of uni total). People seem to like me and I like making other people laugh. I was elected the social secretary for our debate society next year so I'll be planning and hosting parties all the time. I'm not a chad, not by any means (biggest failure of the reinvention is that I'm still 30 pounds heavier than I'd like), but I'm happy with where I am.

Or rather, I was until this summer. I've got an internship I really enjoy in a big city (where I'd like to live after uni, actually), but I'm feeling very socially isolated. Most of the other interns got here three weeks before me and are just friends with each other, and I don't have the interest or energy to go out to bars or random block parties and just introduce myself to people. I've met a few people through political organizations but that's almost a more professional kind of thing...
Most days I just end up back at my apartment sitting at my computer playing games or watching tv or reading. I've done some cultural stuff but my heart just isn't really into it; all I want is to go back to uni to be with my friends and be somewhere with some order and real responsibility in my life. I worry that after I graduate I'll just regress back into the reclusive incel I was and won't be able to recapture what I fear was "magic in a bottle" at uni. With a 9-5 job I feel it'll be too easy to just go home and vegetate on the couch instead of forming real life experiences and bonds with other people. I don't know what to do about it and I don't have a lot of hope ill find answers on 4chan but you've asked for my current thoughts...

[Anonymous No.13518467]

>>13514333
Read all the important Greeks: Heraclitus, Plato, Aristotle, Anaxagoras, and plenty of pre-Socratics
Read all the early Christian philosophers of note
Spinoza
All german idealists
Kierkegaard
Hume
Volotaire
Locke
Leibniz
Schoppy
Then onto newer age shit like Whitehead
Deleuze
Heidegger
Foucault
Etc

Probably forgot some, but basically most of the very important works of phil in the last 4000 years

[Anonymous No.13518479]

May go in a lot of dates in the near future, barelly have any idea about what am I doing. Be the father I never had, /lit/, and give me some advice, please.

[Anonymous No.13518514]

>>13513491
It's an addiction up there with smoking and drinking. Stopping it will teach you self discipline.

[Anonymous No.13518519]

>>13518479

[Anonymous No.13518529]

>>13518084
>is it possible to be suicidal solely because your life really did suck that badly?
Very much so.

[Anonymous No.13518539]

>>13518479
don't be negative at all. don't make fun of anyone. do nice gestures for people other than her, it demonstrates a lot to her, since people aren't sure what to think at first (just as much as you are)

[Anonymous No.13518553]

>>13513491
I tried it but the general urge just increased the longer I stayed away from it. The lewd thoughts were invading my regular functioning. It's far better, in my experience, to relieve myself as quickly and sanely as possible, thus eliminating all tension for a time and allowing me to move on and be productive.

[Anonymous No.13518555]

>>13517336
fair enough

[Anonymous No.13518909]

How do we get rid of the poison that is religion?

[Anonymous No.13518941]

>>13518909
Sorry, bud, you can't. Religions will be around long after you.

[Anonymous No.13518946]

>>13513104
>I feel least alone in my imagination but I'm not fargone enough to ignore what that means.

What does that mean?

[Anonymous No.13518960]

>>13518941
I'm thoughts and prayering for that to be not so.

[Anonymous No.13519081]

>>13513491
there's good evidence that it's useful for quitting porn and the like, but the whole "semen retention" crap around it seems to be below-broscience-tier bullshit.
https://youtu.be/7oFVOJf0TzY
this presentation talks about it somewhat.

[Anonymous No.13519113]

>>13513251
yeah that sounds great and all but i bet they didn't have to live amidst late stage capitalism and 21st century conditions. i wonder what their reactions would be to today's society

[Anonymous No.13519669]

>>13512993
>I'll actually read it edition
I don't believe you, that's on my mind

[Anonymous No.13519677]

I think whenever I haven’t masturbated for a while (a day or more), I start to act strange towards women. Not only that but I salivate when I stare at their asses, especially when they walk in front me up stairs or hills, really anything with an incline. Ass.

[meo No.13519723]

I had a dream where everything was where it needed to be, untouched and pristine. You were in this dream next to me, you looked up to me as a smile slowly crept upon your face. That tender, bright smile that had infinite strength in its grace and gentleness. It felt like it could move mountains, and it certainly moved my heart.

Reaching out to me I took your hand as you lead me to these great plains, and in the seemingly endless horizon of grass there was a single tree upright. There it stood, pride in defiance of it’s loneliness. Watching over us was an pantheon of different shades of blue in the sky. Bright pastels blending with the darker tones in harmony that created a resonating harmony that permeated the air in these fields.

Laying in the cool of the shade under the tree we rested. No words needed to be spoken as just by a quick glance at you I understood anything you wanted to say. It felt like I knew you better than anyone, like you were and are the second half of my soul. In your eyes were these mirrors that reflected your feelings, they took the shape of the cosmos, a microcosm in your retinas.

But as soon as I closed my eyes I woke up from the dream in a state of deep confusion. I was in a quagmire of a situation, how can my dream feel so real to me? I tried to recall that face that led me to the great plains and to under the tree, but it was fading away from me. Perhaps this is a premonition of a future that is yet to come, perhaps it is a glimpse into a moment from another life, or perhaps it is a vision of something that could never be.

All I remember from this epiphany is your smile and how it made me feel and your shimmering eyes and the universe I saw in them. How can such a dream make me this way? I’m now left with the an aching heart for the person I don’t know... or maybe I do? Shown three options of what this was I shall chose the active destiny. This will be something that has yet to come, as I intend to make it so.

[Anonymous No.13519899]

I've been having many "synchronicities" lately. Thoughts that immediately align with some visual, hints and coincidences falling out of the jumble of daily events in exact alignment. Either my mind is finally unravelling or I am the plaything of the cosmos.

[Anonymous No.13520087]

Hey /lit/, I'm making a little illustrated zine, about being hopeful about someone's future.
The idea is to present a "negative" situation and illustrate how it transforms into something else as the time goes by. So far I got a dead bird turning into "flowers" as it decomposes and bright stars appearing as the sun goes down, and I need one more visual metaphor.
Help me

[Anonymous No.13520114]

>>13518909
All you can do is help channel the religious impulse into constructive ends

[Anonymous No.13520117]

>>13512993
What is the best translation for Steppenwolf and Hesse's books in general. I am currently about to buy three of his different works translated by three different people Gertrude, Demian and Steppenwolf the latter as translated by Basil Creighton however I heard a man that read the Russian translation and then this English translation was utterly shocked at how lacking in emotional effect it was. Are the English translations just bad and I should put up with it until I learn German, are translations just generally bad, or does it retain its original quality as close as one may?

Also have the Temple of the Golden Pavilion as the fourth book on that order. Will be my second Mishima to the Sailor who fell from grace with the Sea. Is it good?

Gonna make a thread with this exact writing soon.

[Anonymous No.13520119]

>>13520087
You do not realise the bird is dead, it helped another but it was not benefited or threatened in anyway other than the presupposition that life is innately suffering. Then it has only served to cause the suffering of another.

[Anonymous No.13520130]

>>13520119
are you going to help or not

[Anonymous No.13520139]

>>13518960
>huh aren't I clever, I used a part of his religion in context against him
>the unwitting atheist strikes again against those stupid Christians that believe in prayer

[Anonymous No.13520148]

>>13520130
>>13520130
What do you want?

[Anonymous No.13520152]

>>13520148
give me other ideas for the third matephor, that follow the general pattern

[Anonymous No.13520409]

>>13520152
>What is the best translation for Steppenwolf and Hesse's books in general. I am currently about to buy three of his different works translated by three different people Gertrude, Demian and Steppenwolf the latter as translated by Basil Creighton however I heard a man that read the Russian translation and then this English translation was utterly shocked at how lacking in emotional effect it was. Are the English translations just bad and I should put up with it until I learn German, are translations just generally bad, or does it retain its original quality as close as one may?
>Also have the Temple of the Golden Pavilion as the fourth book on that order. Will be my second Mishima to the Sailor who fell from grace with the Sea. Is it good?
Happiness is extremely broad and I would rather write a large book but I shall aim for one of those many Greek fables.

There were two apple tree's, sitting side by side in the long stretch of the young masters yard - Master Von Eschenbach. He was a good and kind man though a poetic; and one never understands a poet, at least a simple house runner like me. He planted them as a child together the story went something like this --- It was a Winter day, the coldest in what the Academic men say 200 years. The young master at that time was roughly around the age of 4. He had decided to adventure, as he ran through the great garden and tossed and twirled he found himself a spot to rest and soon his childish eyes caught sight of a little round seed - blackened and seemingly dead and so he picked it up to inspect it as all children do. Sitting there his father noticed him and walked over. "Son, what have you got there? Ahhh an apple seed, would you like to plant it?" he stated in the way a father does knowing the feebleness of the operation and the superiority over the child's unwitting understanding. "But father isn't it too cold?" the Father smiled and encouraged him to do so anyway. At once the boy noticed a problem "But Father where is its friend? It would get lonely" and so the Father brought to his son a new seed. And so was the old and new planted together on that cold cold day. --- But they could not grow, though through time did the seeds grow, not into two but one being; through their dependency upon each other did they find the strength of maturity, of old and of new on the coldest and darkest of days.

In those days of Spring, before that famed apple tree which brought so much light into the eyes of that child, he was so saddened that it could not grow. That the plant - of course as valuable as any human life - was to never be! An outrageous thought, yet not so outrageous, not so worth the truth were the dirt stained pants of the fostering of a child's dream, a lie perhaps was this magic yet that is life. A lie, a lie which preserved the happiness of that child, that glimmering child!

[Anonymous No.13520418]

>>13513529
You need God.

[Anonymous No.13520420]

>>13520152
Was going to extend many parts of this>>13520409 for emotional impact but well didn't have enough room and wasn't writing a book.

[Anonymous No.13520426]

>>13513529
Sure, of course anon. But only in the human sense - it does mot negate the true objective only express the innate human emotive.

[Anonymous No.13520427]

>>13520409
>two apple tree's, sitting side by side in the long stretch of the young masters yard - Master Von Eschenbach. He was a good and kind man though a poetic
3 grammatical mistakes already and it’s only your first sentence plus a bit. If this is the best you can do, do yourself a favor and stop writing.

[Anonymous No.13520432]

>>13513106
>>13513109
nigger, she should dress like a white.

[Anonymous No.13520452]

>>13520427
>3 grammatical mistakes already and it’s only your first sentence plus a bit. If this is the best you can do, do yourself a favor and stop writing.
Explain them. And no it's not the best I could do it's just one simply written children's story you fucking idiot.

[Anonymous No.13520459]

>>13520427
Sorry, just re-read. Make that 4 mistakes in the first sentence and a bit. Shameful display.

[Anonymous No.13520484]

>>13520452
You’re calling me a fucking idiot when you’re the one posting mistake-ridden vomit? And you’re too dumb to spot your own mistakes? LOL.
>tree’s — no possessive needed
>masters — possessive needed
>masters — should be capitalized
>a poetic — poetic is an adjective, not a noun

Are you trolling or are you seriously this fucking stupid?

[Anonymous No.13520505]

>>13520484
>>tree’s — no possessive needed
>>masters — possessive needed
>>masters — should be capitalized
>>a poetic — poetic is an adjective, not a noun
Imagine being absolutely this fucking uptight and autistic "b..but my exact usage on a homosexual gay negro dating site". It's fucking 4chan get the fuck over yourself, it doesn't fucking matter these small mistakes. And especially the poetic one as in "he is a poetic man" "he is a poetic" if every man was as obsessive about "the correct usage, the correct words" then the English language wouldn't of advanced. "Bu..ut you used poetic in the wrong context" who gives a fuck, it makes sense and serves its own purpose as apart from poet. You suffer from sever egoism anon, look how angry you get at a children's story written in a minute.

Also 4chan spelling didn't say red so it was fine, you'r the uncultured swine here.

[Anonymous No.13520511]

>>13520484
>>13520505
true signs of the beta unwilling to go outside that of the "norm". How pathetic.

[Anonymous No.13520535]

>>13520505
Confirmed for “this fucking stupid.” Thanks!

[Anonymous No.13520567]

bait troll kek yikes kike cringe cope seethe

[Anonymous No.13520574]

>>13520535
He is right though anon you shouldn't be so obsessive and rude, just focus on the story. He hasn't fundamentally made any mistakes and the only one being his misuse of poetic which in itself is available to change and interpretation of meaning. As he said to express unique quality's "poet" doesn't.

[Anonymous No.13520596]

>>13520535
>Confirmed for “this fucking stupid.” Thanks!
Confirmed for the bitchy effeminate insult. I bet you'r the type of fag to say "sweetie" aren't you? Saying "thanks!" is the effeminate insult of course such a weak insult to life as yourself would naturally require the language of your own degeneracy. It goes to show how truly weak you are, you cannot even read a children's story because "muh 4 grammatical errors". You have an ego problem and you have an effeminacy problem - likely related - which you need to fucking fix. Too scared to differ from normal use of language in the slightest which means to scared to create or perhaps too dumb. "This is what I was taught therefore I do not expand". Do you even formulate thought?

[Anonymous No.13520600]

>>13520574
Don't bother anon he's just an effeminate high functioning autists that fuels his ego trip by having to find some level of displacency in others.

[Anonymous No.13520613]

>>13520117
I read it in german and can tell you that this humourless dribbel isn't worth your time.

[Anonymous No.13520622]

>>13520613
Why? No spoilers please.

[Anonymous No.13520627]

>>13520613
From everyone that has read it I know and online say it's really good.

[Anonymous No.13520799]

>>13520596
Dig the hole deeper, pleb! Put your back into it!

[Anonymous No.13521015]

I keep coming back to the thread just to look at the picture of this qt

[Anonymous No.13521240]

>>13513491
It's practice of self-control and focus.
Masturbating makes you lose your daily focus,
people who have masterbated before know what I'm talking about.

[Anonymous No.13521384]

I'm shitting myself right now, I may drop out of university because of stupid bureaucracy. No fault on my side

[Anonymous No.13521495]

what do i do if i dont want to work in an office anymore.. i feel like im too old to get into a trade or craft (30)

what the hell do i do?

[Anonymous No.13521856]

>>13513070
set it in the future but maintain the current political air. that way you add some distance from your book and any modern politics

[Anonymous No.13522145]

>tfw have developed a permanent frowny sad face from being isolated and depressed
how to fix

[Anonymous No.13523077]

If an eating establishment has a television I leave. I'm so sick of television in general but when I'm eating? Fuck off. I hate when I walk in anywhere and there's a television blaring whatever normies watch or the news (capitalist propaganda). So annoying. Can we just not have silence or discussion anymore?

[Anonymous No.13523211]

>>13523077
The good news is that public TVs are on their way out. The bad news is that they're being replaced by smartphones.

[Anonymous No.13523234]

I want to be an ethot but I’m married. My husband would never stay with me if I became an ethot. We have two kids so I have to think of them too.
I have the body for it. Before I was married I was pretty high up there follower wise. This was back in the Hunter Moore days. I miss that feeling of men and women orbiting.
Anyways, it fucking sucks

[Anonymous No.13523239]

>>13514312
>>13518514
>>13519081
>>13521240
I don't see the point. It seems like abstinence just for the sake of abstinence. I like jerking off and it feels good. I don't see how depriving myself of that will improve my life.

[Anonymous No.13523253]

>>13523239
retard

[Anonymous No.13523266]

>>13523253
Whatever pseud. I'm gonna bust a fat one thinking about how unsatisfactory your life on this Earth is.

[Anonymous No.13523658]

I created two popular /lit/ memes and it makes me warm inside to see them replicate themselves

[Anonymous No.13523704]

I checked this board cuz I started reading and wanted to discuss books. Seems to be 50% philosopher talk and 50% depression. Am I misinterpreting or is that all this board is?

[Anonymous No.13523767]

>>13523704
Is there anything more literary than nonsense speaking schizos?

[Anonymous No.13523802]

I am currently mad and I think the reason for that particular emotion that I am feeling right now in this very moment is that I have taken pictures of a lady (with her consent of course) and lost them due to forced deletion coming from superior forces demanding that I immediately get rid of said time saves. I am mad for losing the pictures because every time I was doubting myself in my ability to acquire the booty from the opposite gender I could go in my my phone and feel good about myself. I am mad.

[Anonymous No.13523862]

>>13523211
When I eat with others I don't mind if they check their phone at the start or end of the meal or if they're texting someone, honestly. It doesn't bother me. Or if someone cites something we're talking about. I couldn't imagine going to eat with someone and them constantly on their phone.

[Anonymous No.13523872]

>>13523658
What are they

[Anonymous No.13524067]

I don't know if I should go to grad school for a subject I'm not super passionate about but gives me a sense of structure and community or continue my current aimless life as a part timer.

[Anonymous No.13524180]

>>13523658
My post was once used as the OP image of a "write what's on your mind" thread, it felt weird that someone had not only read my nonsense but saved it for later use.

[Anonymous No.13524326]

Freud may have been right that dreams are about wish fulfillment but he was wrong to overemphasize the role of sex wishes. To dream is indeed to fulfill a lack, this Lacanian object of desire, but that object can take many forms. When I dream it is not of paradises of the flesh, but of the comfort of childhood homes, or of open roads flanked by the ripe promising landscape of this country, or of otherwordly country teeming with a heaven of sunshine. I dream of clear landscapes, where empyrean, oddly colored fjords mingled with clouds and light. Where the air is as fresh as when the earth began.

There is the buoyancy of youth to these dreams, a clean, unburdened freshness, that is so hard to find in waking. The waking world with its harsh, hard paltriness, compares to these dreams as sobriety does to intoxication. "Intoxication" is not the right word because it indicates impurities. In a way these dreams are a baptism, a redemptive purification of the mundane. The mundane that destroys more people than any epidemic. Where the waking world is mechanism, the dream world is soul . It is the substance of soul. The soul yet lives in dreams, though it has been pushed out of the waking world. Its last bastion is in that twinkling, twilight state in which the mind is suspended between realities. Between the physical reality, which stifles it, and its own reality. There it can express itself unhindered by the bounds of social and physical limitation.

The soul, yes, has been crowded out of waking life by swarms of empirical machinery, but I am convinced that it still takes up camp in those purest moments where all the trappings of egoic status and standing are stripped away and the germinal essence of a person is thrown open to the infinity within.

[Anonymous No.13524354]

>>13524326
Good post. I've often thought the few moments in my adult life where I felt fully happy and alive were those were it felt like I was dreaming.

[Anonymous No.13524410]

>>13524354
I think it says something about how the idyllic has become a precious rarity for so many. We truly do live in a system that functions on "bio-power" the usage of a mass of human batteries to provision for drastically unbalanced wealth inequalities. And it's not about money in the last analysis, its about differential access to beauty and serendipity which money, while unable to buy, makes more probable for those who have it through the basic opening of possibilities that it affords.

This is all deeply underlined by the social construct of a "vacation" for reasons that I don't have time to get into, although it is an interesting line of thought.

[Anonymous No.13524446]

When I see someone I recognize from High school or prior, I wonder if they pretend not to see me like I do. Maybe they do remember me or maybe I wasn't important enough in their life. What makes a person worth remembering anyways? I seem to be fondly remembered but not fond enough. Maybe they do have love to give but I just don't want to accept it. Being ignored sucks.

[Anonymous No.13524631]

>>13518946
I think they mean that they feel quite content in their imagination and solitude but not to the point where they want to shut out the world completely and become some sort of recluse.

[Anonymous No.13524862]

I drove away, yet again, another potential friend due to my inability to communicate like a normal. I sperg out every time someone brings up something I find interesting and end up writing, editing, rewriting, condensing, then sending a page and a half message talking very briefly of an overview of something mundane-made-spectacular. I wish I had the ability to just turn off my overactive mind. Stringing together my opinion of the lack of appreciation of skill required in basketball, the inherent evil of Amazon, and a criticism of the surrender of the spirituality of man in a single paragraph is unappealing, and I understand why, but in the moment, I often forget that people don't tend to think of that as a normal conversation. Speaking is a million times worse as I often struggle to get through half a dozen syllables. Written out, my verbal communication would be plagued with ellipses. The difficult part is that the default compliment people resort to is "you seem like a really smart guy" when I've done nothing (at least, in my perception to indicate such traits. I'm often the silent observer in conversations, holding a deep fear of the branding "intense" after making the conversation awkward. I was tested multiple times throughout my adolescence for any form of autism or aspergers and never met the requirements for a diagnosis. I was tested for mental illness as well, my parents fearing a sort of schizophrenia after reading some of the more esoteric ramblings I produced. The Stanford Binet put me at 145, the rest of the psych eval didn't give anything to diagnose me as, and CBT didn't do much for me.

I feel so horribly disconnected. I'm stuck in a job with people floating on either side of "middle of the bell curve", classes for school drags on for so long and I disengage around the first quarter of class. I've strongly considered joining the armed services, but the recruiters keep pushing me towards jobs I don't want just because of my 92 ASVAB. I am not sure what my purpose in life is, and I'm not really good at anything besides learning quickly and finding patterns between things. I would like to deal with people in a rather informal manner discussing grander concepts, I would like to have Socratic dialogues with people that could follow the train of thought I drive, and I happen to be a great listener and give advice when I feel I can be helpful, but my intense desire to help others towards betterment can fall into many different spheres and require higher education in most cases.

I could quickly write 5 more posts of this length, but I would rather construct movies within my head. Not quite slice-of-life, but it is rather mundane, lacks plot, and doesn't seem to resolve, it just ends. Two coworkers having coffee discussing work on a Saturday, leading to mild venting of personal lives. A therapy session where a man talks about the loss of his son in a car accident and his guilt. Perhaps a company party. Nothing grand, just someone's life.

[Anonymous No.13524919]

>>13518479
xanax turns me into a normalfag every time

[Anonymous No.13525327]

>>13512993
My girlfriend is an amazing person in many, but she sucks at showing affection. I know she loves me, but she's bad at expressing it verbally and it makes me insecure. She has no issues with telling other people, like her sister and our mutual friends, how much she loves me and she says really sweet stuff about me to them, but she just can't say it to me. I've talked to her about it, and she knows it's a problem and is trying to get better at it, but to no avail. Am I intimidating to her? Is she scared that telling me about her love will put her in a vulnerable position?

[Anonymous No.13525345]

>>13524862
what a humblebragging insufferable fag. Read more and especially experience more.

[Anonymous No.13525834]

>>13513491
I stopped for a month once. The only noticeable change was that I had more frequent erections and my benis felt like it was going to explode. Otherwise, I don't think it did anything at all.

[Anonymous No.13525848]

>>13513070
Just tape your eyes when you host book signings

[Anonymous No.13526155]

>>13517053
What career?