/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.13432496]

>see someone with an expressive type of face smiling
>think "Somebody stop me!"

>see male taller than 6'2"
>think "I said pick up the soap!"

>see woman taller than 6'
>think "Death by snoosnoo!"

>see a qt or Stacey near me
>think in a mock girl voice "Like, ew! He's not Chad! Get away from me creep!"

>see white woman within ten feet of black man
>think "Blacked!"

>see mundane object
>think "It's an [object] episode."

>constantly thinking "Dare I say it?", "What did he mean by this?", "Sneed", "Chuck" "Was it age appropriate?", "Braaaap!", "Imperious man mountain", "Quintessentially British!"

>see balding guy
>think "Look at dis doooood"

>see fat guy
>think "That's me after starting strength"

>see sad looking woman
>think "I only got fucked by ten Chads last night! Life on hard mode!"

>see guy smartly dressed in suit
>think "The Fisher account!"

The most annoying one in my head right now is something like "If your name is Chuck you should suck and fuck on the floor", to the tune of that really popular J Lo song.

[Anonymous No.13432504]

Just kill yourself

[Anonymous No.13432506]

>>13432496
>"If your name is Chuck you should suck and fuck on the floor", to the tune of that really popular J Lo song.
vocaroo

[Anonymous No.13432514]

[Anonymous No.13432522]

>see balding guy
>not thinking "OH NO NO NO LOOK AT THE TOP OF HIS HEAD"
But yeah, the Internet and memes have fried your brain

[Anonymous No.13432549]

>>13432506

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4H_Zoh7G5A

It's about 1:10 in to this

[Anonymous No.13432588]

>>13432496
meditate, stop masturbating, stop eating sugar, leave 4chan

[Anonymous No.13432625]

>>13432588
this

[Anonymous No.13432646]

>>13432588
/thread.
/life.

[Anonymous No.13432681]

>>13432496
>see male taller than 6'2"
>for you, big guy
>see a negro
>gas the kikes race war now
>see a simpsons/rickandmorty t-shirt or whatever
>sneed/picklerick
That's it.

[Anonymous No.13432706]

>>13432496
is this the fabled power of /tv/

[Anonymous No.13432707]

>>13432496
yeah, I'm thinking he's based

[Anonymous No.13432782]

>sitting at my desk fapping
>cum really hard
>buck my hips up and they hit the desk
>one of the piss bottles falls over
>it didn't have a cap on it and starts spilling everywhere
>still cumming as I get drenched in piss
>yell out in anger and try to stand up to try and grab the piss bottle
>hit my knee in the desk and knock another one over
>slip on the piss on the floor and fall down
>piss now pouring on top of my head
>start screaming and try to pull my pants up since i was just fapping
>mom starts banging on my door and yelling whats wrong
>tell her to shut the fuck up
>she keeps banging on the door
>try to stand up but slip on the piss again, there's a big puddle now
>she's still banging and yelling, says she'll call the police if i don't open the door
>start to crawl across the floor to try and reach it
>finally get there and reach for the doorknob
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.13432832]

>>13432496
Chilling, I'm serious. Poor dumb unintegrated bastard.

[Anonymous No.13432935]

I have the phrase "I love tofu" stuck in my head. Sometimes I just catch myself thinking it during the day. Though I never ate tofu before.

[Anonymous No.13432948]

>>13432496
>>see sad looking woman
>>think "I only got fucked by ten Chads last night! Life on hard mode!"
Me too

[Anonymous No.13432962]

i too am presently banned from /tv/ and shitting up other boards

[Anonymous No.13432964]

>>13432496
>"Braaaap!"
can’t say I haven’t thought this one

[Anonymous No.13433867]

>>13432496
What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.13433874]

>>13432496
>see shit spacing
>think "go back."
Seriously, tho

[Anonymous No.13434566]

>>13432496
>constantly thinking... "Sneed", "Chuck"
lol guilty