Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.13404514]

[Anonymous No.13404516]

Big ol titties

[Anonymous No.13404519]

>>13404514
I still don’t know what I want to do with my life

[Anonymous No.13404524]

>>13404514
Saw this joke on a facebook group about insects, and the comments were bashing it from being "casually transphobic", since not every man has a penis.
I don't have anything against trans people in general, but I just wantes them to shut up and suffer even more if they felt offended, really, just pure rage.
Is it a reaction to the perceived "loss of freedom" to speak? Trying to understand this feeling.

[Anonymous No.13404534]

>>13404519
You can write about what others are doing with their lives that you find admirable. If you don't think there is anyone out there worth admiring then write your ideals and work from there.

[Anonymous No.13404596]

>>13404514
My smoking habit is some form of auto-destruction and I started to do it consciously now.

People often built family with their first or third partner and end up having a miserable live.

[Anonymous No.13404651]

>>13404596
what's wrong with her body?
she better not be underage you fuck

[Anonymous No.13404658]

There's too many niggers in this world

[Anonymous No.13404659]

>>13404651
Did you see anything wrong? Are you really heterosexual?

[Anonymous No.13404674]

>>13404659
Left belongs to a much smaller woman
also she looks like she's twelve.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.13404686]

>>13404674
Pizzagate nonsense

[Anonymous No.13404691]

>>13404686
i have no idea what this means and i don't care

[Anonymous No.13404695]

I hate how many of my countrymen are completely tasteless and are absolute Philistines when it comes to aesthetics. Particularly architecture and graphic design. All of the strip malls and identical apartment buildings are soul crushing and could be found in any part of my country. Regions don't have their own character, it's all "best value", lowest bid construction. Beige, tan, fluorescent lights, and maybe some gray if you are lucky. Everyone is so miserly with their construction budget. It really pisses me off

[Anonymous No.13404710]

>>13404695
>living in europe
>huge architectural legacy
>chain stores in buildings older than the united states has been a country
it gets pretty surreal sometimes.

[Anonymous No.13404837]

>>13404695
Which country?

[Anonymous No.13404856]

>An Australian fellow asks his girl friend to fight, but she says she doesn't want to because she isn't feeling well.
>"Whatta ya mean, not feeling well?" he says. "You know," she says, "I've got my time of the month." "Whatta ya mean, time of the month?" he says.
>"You know," she says, "I've got my period." "Whatta ya mean, period?" he says.
>"You know," she says, "I'm bleeding down here." And she opens up her pants to show him. "Jesus," he says, "no wonder you're bleeding! They've
gone and cut your cock off!"

[Anonymous No.13404864]

>An Australian fellow asks his girl friend to fight, but she says she doesn't want to because she isn't feeling well.
>"Whatta ya mean, not feeling well?" he says. "You know," she says, "I've got my time of the month." "Whatta ya mean, time of the month?" he says.
>"You know," she says, "I've got my period." "Whatta ya mean, period?" he says.
>"You know," she says, "I'm bleeding down here." And she opens up her pants to show him. "Jesus," he says, "no wonder you're bleeding! They've gone and cut your cock off!"

[Anonymous No.13404866]

Two grizzled cowhands are sitting around a campfire. One holds a coffee mug in his hands and is frowning down at it.
"Man, this cup is broke. It ain't got an opening," he says to his friend. His friend looks over and takes mug from him. He turns it this way and that, and after a minute he hands it back.
"It's worse than that," he tells his friend, somberly, "The damn thing doesn't have a bottom either."

[Anonymous No.13404888]

>>13404864
>An Australian fellow asks his girl friend to fight
did you mean fuck?

[Anonymous No.13404900]

>>13404866
hehehehehe

[Anonymous No.13404972]

>>13404514
I'm a madman by accident. I hope I can keep it together. A lot of insecurity stemming from my paranoia. It's tough to have a real relationship when false pretenses are involved, an inherent sense of dishonesty that causes me to react negatively (unintentionally) to people that are trying to help me because they know I'm in a bad way. I don't like to meet expectations. I feel like it is a power complex: if you have expectations of me, I'll express my power by defeating your expectations. That entire process is subconscious, so think of the well-being provided for my conscious self by this ridiculous, all-too-human phenomenon: my own self is defeating my self while letting down all the people I love. And I'm a pretty self-conscious, guilt-ridden mother fucker anyway. Fuck. My delusions (going on 4 months and another 2 years ago) involve other people knowing things about me and, therefore, acting under false pretenses toward me, so now that people around me know I'm going through this psychotic episode, symptoms are being restored due to the way they treat me (even though they are being extremely nice and i appreciate them immensely). God, this shit is exhausting. Acid trip within an acid trip within an acid trip. Maybe losing one's mind isn't half as bad as it seems, if one has a good sense of humor, but it sure seems to be pretty fucking horrible from where I'm at. That's me whining. I should feel honored, it's more exciting than mundane existence, and there might be something divine (or the opposite) about it. I love all the people, I love you all, and I hope everyone ends up well.

[Anonymous No.13404981]

>>13404888
Lol no it's fight

[Anonymous No.13404982]

>>13404596
>>13404651

https://vocaroo.com/i/s00ZjHzRPJ2K

[Anonymous No.13405127]

>>13404982
I don’t get it

[Anonymous No.13405294]

IF IT'S HOT ENOUGH THAT MY COCONUT OIL TURNS INTO LIQUID FORM COCONUT OIL, IT'S TOO FUCKING HOT! THIS IS THE ONLY THERMOMETRE I NEED!

[Anonymous No.13405583]

>>13404514
Everything and nothing, I had a perfect day, theres really nothing more I could wish for, and yet I feel this anxious inside of me, as if I know it was my last good day for a while.

[Anonymous No.13405668]

I see like 8 helicopters on the horizon. The fuck is going on? Is that strictly necessary?

[Anonymous No.13405693]

The airspace over here is absolutely teeming. And some of the aircraft are pitch black. That's not civilization colors. The helicopters are arrayed in a formation around the perimeter. And there's also a shit ton of planes.

[Anonymous No.13405697]

*civilian

[Anonymous No.13405717]

le orange man is planning his coup on the fourth of july

last minute "military parade" with tanks in the capital announced a few days ago

epic

[Anonymous No.13405757]

Laughing at all the American Christian's who think they are special for thinking Joel Osteen is bad, basic bitch opinion, no one likes him

[Anonymous No.13405802]

No matter how many times people tell me racism is bad they don't have a convincing enough arguement for me to believe them.

[Anonymous No.13405851]

Clearly this is some kind of military operation. It seems odd that the military would transport troops in this locale. By the looks of it they are headed northward. I'm unaware of military bases north of this location but there could easily be some.

I spotted several cargo planes that could be transporting troops or supplies but once again, this is an odd location to conduct such a maneuver. The fact that all these planes are headed north indicates something.

The helicopters appear to be providing some kind of overwatch, which again, given the location, seems unnecessary. Something is afoot!

[Anonymous No.13405879]

I want to stop being a pseud but I don't know how. Even if I did, I bet I wouldn't be able to. Hopefully nobody discovers my shameful secret when I'm making uninformed posts on this board in an attempt to masquerade as someone who knows something about anything.

[Anonymous No.13406381]

>>13404982
imagine if your mom overheard you recording this

[Anonymous No.13406820]

>>13405851
where do you live?

[Anonymous No.13406848]

>>13405802
Normies don't understand arguments or principles, they only understand "that's not very POPULAR of you to say that"

[Anonymous No.13406872]

I'm in a lot of emotional pain right now and there really isn't anything I can do about it

[Anonymous No.13406875]

>>13406872
Here's a picture of some dogs hugging

[Anonymous No.13406921]

haha look at her go

[Anonymous No.13406931]

my thoughts, behavior and interactions with others are relentlessly mediocre. I've been exceedingly alone for years now. my material comforts are running dry, and it will only get harder from here. I will be entering the nether-regions of solitude and hopefully it'll be unbearable enough to drive me to kill myself.

[Anonymous No.13406949]

I'm slowly understanding (or deluding myself into thinking) that the world is either nonexistent or a simulation, with me being the only living thing inside it. I've recently read stories like the Library of Babel and Through the Gates of the Silver Key that make me think more about this concept, which in turn deludes me further. Frequently I ponder the thought that things only exist inside my field of vision, and anything outside of it temporarily disappears to conserve 'data' in my universe. Oh god, anons, I'm going schizo.

[Anonymous No.13406953]

>>13404524
i can guarentee you almost none of the people calling it that are actual transes

[Anonymous No.13406967]

I feel blissfully empty right now. Wish I could feel like this all the time

[Anonymous No.13406989]

never felt the need to get a gf but now that my friends are having fun with their own gfs I feel loneliness like never before
>>13406949
pretty dangerous line of thought to go down, viewing people as simulations and what not

[Anonymous No.13407010]

I used to be elitist about art created by a single passionate person, now I can't stop thinking about how intimate dedicating so much time to something created by one person is. I hardly respect anyone enough to dedicate that much time to them, and this has made me not enjoy a lot of things that I used to. Not sure what's left for me; all I can enjoy is my own work and God's.

[Anonymous No.13407015]

The fear of living the rest of my life alone and unloved, which was buried for 5 or 6 years as I struggled with if I'd even let myself live this long, has come rushing back and it feels smothering and claustrophobic and painful in ways I don't have words for.

[Anonymous No.13407038]

I really, really wish that my parents didn't decide to homeschool me for religious reasons. Wingclipped and chances I had for being an emotionally mature adult. I don't feel like I owe them anything anymore

[Anonymous No.13407065]

25 nofap hard mode on my mind and greek philpsophy also. I'm not a robot.

[Anonymous No.13407373]

>trying to write query letters

this is almost harder than writing the goddamned book

[Anonymous No.13407377]

>>13405851
might be war games.

[Anonymous No.13407528]

>>13407038

>homeschooling for religious or political reasons

Yeah it was bound to end badly. Sorry bro

I had an idea of a sort of private-school-at-home which came to me because my dad was talking about homeschooling his new kids for religious/political reasons. And desu he's just not up for the task. My "school" would provide educational support for parents, where we would simply fit whatever need they had. If, for example, they homeschooled their kid but don't know how to approach math beyond a certain point then they can hire a teacher to fill in that gap. Or if they simply need someone to help their kid be better at french they could hire one of the tutors to bring him up to par. We would have both teachers and tutors, which would command different prices and allow greater flexibility and autonomy for everyone involved.

[Anonymous No.13407566]

>>13404514
my feet are ice cold and i haven't slept at all, lied in bed sleepless for about 4 hours, then got on my phone because it wasn't going anywhere.
the 3am sunrise was beautiful though

[Anonymous No.13407603]

I have finished sorting out all of my Pepes, Apus, Wojacks, Spurdos, Boomers, Guns, Cars, Camo patterns, cute girls (cis and trans), and many other categories into their respective folders. Now I can post with increased efficiency and accuracy

[Anonymous No.13407623]

>>13406967
i've started writing "morning pages" recently, just 3 handwritten pages of stream of consciousness right after waking up. you can change the number of course, but 3 regular-sized notebook pages are optimal to write regularily.
it leaves you either pleasantly empty or overwhelmed with freshly ground thoughts for a couple of hours.

[Anonymous No.13407632]

>>13407603
extremely based. a couple weeks ago i've sorted over 10.000 pictures saved on my phone, only one 1.5k folder left to sort for now.
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1ymgylmpkjL5FZNx5UbERmt3ShDXcHPsk here's the pepe&wojak folder, a bit personal, but i'd share it with my lit bros

[Anonymous No.13407645]

I hate how difficult it is to describe my philosophical viewpoints regarding animal & human consciousness without sounding like I'm a le vegan or a schizophrenic. I'm literally not even arguing anything crazy, it's just occum's razor that nobody else seems willing to accept. I have no clue why people think nature is "nice".

I hate how easy it is and (mentally) rewarding it is to make up ideas even though you KNOW you will do nothing with them. I literally spent the past two days writing up ideas for a meme video game that not only I would never nor could ever make, but it's based entirely on an internet meme. It's a total waste of time that I'm aware of being a waste, and yet I did it anyway.

I often feel as though I don't give enough time or energy into trying to learn new things. It's like self assured arrogance. I could go online right now and take a free college level business class to get my idea of starting my own business off track, but I don't know what to do with my business or my life or my career in general. I feel like my admitably very cushy and lucrative job that I have zero college education and training for, and I got just because I knew people in the business, is so good and cushy for someone like me that I should work to keep it. But I still feel unsatisfied.

I very much enjoy tabletop games as they let me share my concepts or ideas, especially things too weird for my medicore drawing ability to represent. It's a hobby that I think is underrated and still very much in its infancy, despite memers on /tg/ and other places talking about how it's already soulless because muh normies play it. Whatever, nerds.

[Anonymous No.13407664]

>>13407645
> I hate how difficult it is to describe my philosophical viewpoints without sounding like a schizophrenic.
the whole point of philosophy is to sound like a schizophrenic.
personally i like making up ideas and playing unlikely scenarios in my head, you get all the thrill (more so - idealized and just as you like it) without the hassle of actually doing shit.

[Anonymous No.13407670]

>>13407645
>without sounding like I'm a le vegan or a schizophrenic
Don't worry; you're probably just a moron.

[Anonymous No.13407752]

>>13406949
I did this for a long ass time.
>nothing outside of (my) perception exists
>mind's eye creates a lower plane of existence than the actual eye
Broke my brain on acid May last year
>all flesh is an illusion, the only thing that truly exists is spirit/consciousness
>most people are killing their soul by choosing pleasures of flesh over pleasures of soul
>most people are walking corpses and you can see it in their eyes/actions/expressions
>this can be explained by NPC meme, PZombie, many other observations
>flesh is the most convincing illusion around
>death leads to your soul returning to the source of itself (think of a much less detailed, more perfect Form of whatever archetype)
>decides to "exercise" itself by "expressing" itself in lower dimensions
>suicide is just you not learning the lesson so it "tries again"
>something about actualizing the self
>everything is just part of the many "faces" of God

If you can accept instead of letting it destroy you, your current belief allows you to not stress out, suicide, etc.
Don't let anyone know because they don't like people that know more than they do. Don't let the thoughts consume you. The air enters your lungs before it exits, this isn't something you need to express.

[Anonymous No.13407807]

>>13404837
fucking idiot

[Anonymous No.13407825]

>>13406921
!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.13408148]

>>13405717
why would he have to? he can already do whatever he fucking wants.

[Anonymous No.13408163]

>>13406848
It got ridiculous when I was in college.
>racism is bad because we are all the same under our skin
>diversity is good because different races and cultures bring different thoughts in a positive way
>stereotypes are bad because they assume different races and cultures have different cultures and thoughts in a negative way
>diversity has no cons only pros
>racism is bad because it values one group over another
>diversity means valuing one group over another

It just always reeked of bullshit. And the notion that people won't have the atavistic tribalism necessary for survival and completely logical as the tribe is a meta-organism of like genotyped peoples is preposterous.

[Anonymous No.13408246]

My neighbor introduced herself in the hall recently and asked if I hear her music through the walls. I do. In the morning. But it doesn't bother me. Later I wondered if that was her non-autismal way to hint that she can hear my music, television, furious masturbation, through the walls, at 4:04am. I still wonder but I haven't seen her since. I know more or less when she goes to work, when the music stops, but I'm unwilling to drag myself out of bed 15 minutes earlier to bump into her on my way out. The next few days are going to be rough, as I'll be mostly alone until Monday. I got food to last through the weekend and have eaten it already and now all I have left is some beer and protein shakes. Why does 4chan like Russian shit so much, especially when combined with Chinese cartoons. I can't stop being mad at her. Loneliness never bothered me until after she decided I wasn't important enough. The one after her barely registers in my mind most days; I was just another bad thing to happen to her. Sometimes the books people praise up and down seem self-indulgent and pretentious, as if the author were more interested in jerking off and being seen to jerk off than in telling a story people would care about. Although I kind of forgive DFW for it because I feel, as a joke slut, that he got me good. I treat self-awareness as a hobby, and so I've spent an uncomfortable amount of time trying to kill my illusions. Imperfect still, of course, as it'll always be. The greatest illusion is that there are none left. Someone say that better. Devils, tricks, etc. But then I start treating the awareness as the end goal: it's sufficient to understand, and healing is an unnecessary frivolity. I've become withdrawn in recent years. There was a time when I was the life of the party. And I'm not convinced I've fully swept away the cobwebs of lies I tell myself on this, but I want to say it's because I have no one I can affectionately call a faggot. My old friends are still around, in a nongeographical sense, and we can still speak candidly, but the group chat doesn't cut it for day-to-day, have-to-fucking-go-outside life. When I see people write 3deep5pseud stream of thought bullshit like this, I roll my eyes. I go to work happy hours and meetups and the garbage dating apps where insta divas ask for money but no faggots, or all of them faggots. Jews.
I still need to shower before I go to bed.

[Anonymous No.13408311]

>>13404514
Magick

[Anonymous No.13408349]

>>13405717
jfc anon, i read this as the twelfth of july and almost went to ground.

[Anonymous No.13408400]

>>13405717
hmmm.. reminds me of russian victory parades every 9th may. billions of rubbles spent on that alone + equally large amounts on road repair after superheavy machinery drove down them. just to be destroyed again next year.

[Anonymous No.13408422]

> practiced some watercolors
> came out quite nice
how's your hobby going bros?

[Anonymous No.13408438]

beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do beep boo bop a da da beep ba do

bababababa baba ababab babab ababab ababa babababaaa baba

dooododododododododododododododododododododododododododododoodododododododododododododododoododododododododo

[Anonymous No.13408442]

Ahhh Ohhhh.
Why you so obsessed with me?
Boy I want to know, lyin' that you're sexing me.
When everybody knows, it's clear that you're upset with me.
Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn't impress,
Last man on the earth, still couldn't get this.

You're delusional, you're delusional,
Boy you're losing your mind.
It's confusing yo, you're confused you know,
Why you wasting your time?
Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex,
Seein' right through you like you're bathin' in Windex.

Ooh Ohh Ohh.
Boy why you so obsessed with me?
So, Oh, Oh-Oh- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh.
And all the ladies sing,
So, Oh, Oh-Oh- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh.
All the girls sing.
(Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.)

[Anonymous No.13408452]

>>13408422
I know how to make
chili
beef stew
steak
potatoes
fried rice
teriyaki chicken
curry
baked potatoes
mashed potatoes
grilled salmon
smoked chicken
smoked ribs
mac and cheese
cajun shrimp pasta with tomato cream sauce
baked lobster tails
hot sandwitches
fried sweet and spicy pork and beef
sauteed anything
roux
eggs any way
bacon
oats
fried mushrooms
fried chicken strips
fried chicken
fried cheese sticks
salisbury steak

Cooking just keeps going and going and going but once you get the basics of hot fat then sauteed onions/garlic and onions/garlic/ginger for asian combined with sweating root vegetables you get one pot meals. You get the ideas of adding white wine to seafood meals and red to red meat meals. The basic ideas of cooking are similar to writing and playing chess. As long as you don't do something stupid at the beginning you have a lot to play with during the preparation.

I also like chess and guitar. I'm intermediate at guitar and beginner at chess.

[Anonymous No.13408454]

>>13404514
I tripped on acid yesterday, probably my 18 time. Was great. While tripping some girl on bumble started messaging me. She sent nudes and today i drove the 45 minutes out and fuckers her twice. I left pretty abruptly and unmatched with her. Whatta strange two days.

[Anonymous No.13408458]

>>13408454
Lol I imagine jangley post trip sex to be super derealizing.

[Anonymous No.13408464]

>>13408422
Nice
>>13408452
>roux
Learn how to make choux pastry. Basically this plus eggs, but you can make eclairs or deep fry it for churros etc, and everyone gets mighty impressed.

I'm half way through knitting a jumper. By winter I hope to be fully kitted out in shit I have made and toasty comfy.

[Anonymous No.13408467]

>>13408458
Youd imagine right friend haha. She was really weirdin me out desu so I left right after. Nice pussy though. How bout you whats on your mind?

[Anonymous No.13408479]

>>13408467
I haven't done psychs in a long time but would really like to get back into smoking a little weed daily. It brings my high strung and judgemental personality down and makes me more accepting and empathetic. I would also consider microdosing mushrooms.

I did a moderate amount of salvia just after graduating high school and had intense deja vu 3 times a day minimum afterwards which combined with an existential crisis and dread after the trip.

Mushrooms were amazing and chill though.

[Anonymous No.13408503]

>>13408479
I get that man. Weed definitely helps.
Ive only done shrooms once in highschool but it was incredible and id love to find em again.
Ive microdosed a bit with lsd before, can't say id reccomend or not reccomend. Although acid is probably my favorite drug and I have an immense appreciation for it. Everyones run dry where im from and is getting older so ive been very conservitive with my stash lol.
Always been told to stay away from salvia possibly for reasons youve stated. What was the trip like if you remember it?

[Anonymous No.13408519]

I genuinely believe I inspired that Swedish kid from Trolhaugen or whatever with a sword to slaughter those arabic mongrels a few years ago and it genuinely makes me happy that people are no more because of my actions.

[Anonymous No.13408528]

>>13408519
Actually Based but very edgy and possibly criminally insane-pilled.

[Anonymous No.13408565]

>>13408503
Yes. The trip completely changed my life.

I was raised christian. It was always a bedrock to my psyche, a surety, a truth, a security blanket. When I smoked a large amount of salvia my latent doubts bubbled forth.

My trip took place in a public park, in a sand box on my knees. I realized that there were but two consciousness in reality, myself and my superior, a god. My friends appeared to be puppets, illusions, frauds. Like The Truman Show, like Coroline, they were actors for the superior god. This God had all the power and had made this reality as he had many times before. He did so for pleasure. He did so to exert power over me, the lesser soul. He did so to make me think that my life and relationships and feelings mattered. He did so to give me purpose to then show me it was mere illusion. I sat there in the sand realizing this as my current existence was torn to shreds. I then awaited my rebirth into a new reality where this would once again occur. My friends, I realized, aside from being puppets were spelling my true name, my sould name. One moved. I called her a bitch. I came down. I was disoriented.

I have since read how much my experience had in common with different mythologies and found myself an ideology of deism.

However, I had an existential panic attack that brought me to the hospital that following year and read philosophy and history. I lost myself and found myself again. It was frightening and not easy. I nearly had panic attacks based on existential uncertainty daily. I recommend strong psychedelics to everyone.

[Anonymous No.13408575]

>>13408519
based
absolute majority of terrorists and "performance killers" are retards, but i appreciate the braveness it takes to sacrifice your whole life for your retarded ideology or point

[Anonymous No.13408611]

>>13408464
thanks fren
>>13408452
i mostly enjoy cooking while high, most of all B L I N I because you can eat them fresh while frying the next batch. and they're hard to fuck up

[Anonymous No.13408638]

deez nuts

[Anonymous No.13408689]

>>13408638
based

[Anonymous No.13408775]

>>13404972
Are you me ? I'm living kinda the same , also i'm a psychiatrist so it helps me understand psychotic patients better

[Anonymous No.13408832]

I'm so mentally up my own ass nowadays that I don't mind shitty things. And I don't mean things that are annoying or annoy me personally, obviously, but things like boring and predictable stories or fantasy worlds with somewhat restrictive or uninteresting plots and events. Like I kind of a minor fascination of shit that most people consider "bad" and I don't think it's really that bad.

[Anonymous No.13408834]

I absolutely can't put on a smile if it's not caused unexpectedly, no matter how hard I try.
I don't know how others do it.

[Anonymous No.13408970]

>>13408422
Never use black, man
It looks jarring
Instead, make some kind of chromatic gray, you know, mix up some drak blue, dark red, yellow ocre and you'll get a dissarurated, dark mix.

[Anonymous No.13408982]

>>13408834
I had to get my picture taken for my work security pass recently. The lady taking it showed it to me on the camera screen and I looked miserable, so I agreed to try again. I consciously tried to lift the corners of my mouth more that time, but it still looked like a mugshot.

[Anonymous No.13409071]

>>13408970
it's not black, it's sepia and some blue with it. doen't look as black irl as in my pic
i don't ecen have black watercolors desu

[Anonymous No.13409202]

>>13407632
Top kek ivan

[Anonymous No.13409249]

>>13409071
It looks sepia in your pic. I think anon might have just had one piece of advice he learnt he wanted to air or fucked up colour balance.

[Anonymous No.13409355]

I can confidently say I hate evangelical fundamentalist Christians. If there's any group I can be said to loathe completely. Even Muslims are a little better. At least Muslims are direct and transparent about their motives.

I'm glad gen Z is the least religious generation to date. Something might actually get done in this country.

[Anonymous No.13409547]

>>13404514
why are people assholes? why do people go "you're not really depressed, you're just a whiny pussy, get over it." and things like that?
What is it? What is so hard about empathizing with another person? Even if you don't understand it, how come "this person suffers from something I don't understand" is such a foreign concept? So much so, that instead of "I'll just ignore it", they decide to aggressively attack the other?
I understand aggression, I've got aggression issues that stem from my fear of helplessness. If I feel helpless in even the most abstract way, I'll get bitchy and loud and sometimes actively belligerent, but there's gotta be a line somewhere, between unconscious reaction and active maliciousness, right?
And what's it supposed to do? Those people don't go away, and their problems don't go away, and you're not helping. Is it just society's fault? And anyway, isn't it exhausting? I get tired hating actual things in my life that I'm actually, physically confronted with- people, problems, whatever. Who has the energy to hate people you don't know or don't affect you? I mean, there's always the individual exception, because some people should be guillotined, but just... in general. Gays. Women. Blacks. That's like... a lot of people, and you probably hardly know any of them. How do you even have the motivation? Right? I can understand, idiots that go, "oh yeah. hate gays. god says so," and then just don't do anything. that's passive whatever, but there are people who will take time out of their day to fuck up the lives of people they'll never meet. going out to vote against gay marriage or something. Right? You're never going to get gay married but you just "I'm going to go spend time and energy to make sure these hypothetical people won't be able to indulge in a stupid societal institution at some point, maybe?"

tl;dr: why are people mean? It's so fucking time and energy consuming for no pay-off.

[Anonymous No.13409569]

>>13408834
>>13408982
>I can laugh for real at the drop of a hat
>like insane, gut clenching laughter
>every year at the same birthday party, the same two girls ask me to laugh and they absolutely lose it every time
>can't normal laugh though
>also have no idea what my face is doing half the time
>oh god, am I smiling? Stop smiling! My face is clenching! Am I smiling!? I'M AT MY GRANDFATHER'S WAKE! I'M LOOKING AT HIS CORPSE! OH GOD LOOK DOWN IDIOT!
he looked like mummy! I couldn't help it! I thought my grandma noticed, but she never said anything, so I guess it's alright.

It's probably because I have BPD. no moderation.

[Anonymous No.13409571]

>>13409547
Believe it or not societies can't be complete laissez faire do whatever you want fuckfests

[Anonymous No.13409576]

>>13409571
first off:
explain to me how not being an asshole to people equates in anyway to complete laissez faire do whatever you want fuckfests
second off:
why not? you got any good reasons?

[Anonymous No.13409590]

>>13409355

>I'm glad gen Z is the least religious generation to date. Something might actually get done in this country.

No. As religions fail, humans will continue to invest their belief and actions into "state-religions"; the most common framework being that of consumerism, sports and politics.

The fact that you rebuke all religiosity based on your experience with evangelical christians while praising muslims (who in their countries are tenfold more fanatical) shows however that you are part of the problem.

[Anonymous No.13409605]

Im in the final stages of getting my book edited but I still have no idea how to sell it, or if I even want to sell it because im terrible at accepting compliments / feedback. I dont even want people to know I wrote the thing despite being proud of it.

Oh and I reallllly want to start a cult. but, same problem largely as above.

[Anonymous No.13409616]

>>13409547
Because most people aren't able to hold themselves up to the most basic moral code without someone forcing them, or even understand why we need morals for that matter. Wooden souls make up the vast majority of our race

[Anonymous No.13409641]

>>13409576
Dissuading people from shitty behavior and promoting good behavior is generally called culture.

Because your value of letting people do whatever they want and live in whatever world they want is incommensurable with what I want and the world I want to live in: a world where people don't do whatever they want, particularly act like narcissistic hedonistic fags.

[Anonymous No.13409709]

It sounds vain but I'm really fucking anxious about my hairline receding. Now it looks like I'm going to be irrevocably male for the rest of my life. I don't mind it, but don't like being forced into a role like that against my will. Oh well

[Anonymous No.13409711]

>>13409616
>>13409641
>Dissuading people from shitty behavior and promoting good behavior is generally called culture.
why does this need to happen through aggression, though? the purpose isn't an argument if different means fulfill the same purpose.

and if you let people do whatever they want, you still get a viable society, because while there are lazy dickheads, most people want to participate in society- it's part of us as a species. We're a social species. Just imagine a room of people and half of them are doing stuff, and the other half have nothing to do- not some strawman room of people, I mean your normal, standard, random mash of people. You only have to wait for a few minutes before most people will ask if there's something they can help with.

[Anonymous No.13409736]

>>13409711
>why does this need to happen through aggression, though?
The vast, vast majority doesn't require violence though. People are very conformist and don't even need to be threatened to fall in place. The violence is for the small minority of people immune to ideology: murderers, pedophiles, et cetera

[Anonymous No.13409781]

>>13409736
alright, I can see that, but people don't hold that kind of behavior in reserve for people who refuse to adhere to basic morality- they yell at people with mental illnesses, with physical illnesses, at the LGBTQ, at people who are just different in irrelevant, unobtrusive ways.

[Anonymous No.13409798]

>>13409781
>people who refuse to adhere to basic morality
>LGBTQ
But you repeat yourself

[Anonymous No.13409827]

>>13409798
yes, yes, congratulations. you have done a very good strawmeme post.

[Anonymous No.13409883]

I would like to work at a company that has brutally honest job interviews. Besides just talking about your past job experience any behavioral questions should be answered with unrelenting brutal honestly. I wanna hear how fucked up this person is, because only by knowing a man's perversities and the extent to which they go can you get the full measure of him.

Otherwise it's all just fakery and kissing up. If I ran a company I would institute this policy.

[Anonymous No.13409885]

>>13408775
I don't think I'm you, until I better acquaint my self with Brahman. I've got all the good jokes, that was one. I'm sorry you're going through that. It's tough to move through the world knowing that tweakers are probably the only people around me that can identify with the horror of my conscious experience. The belief systems that normal people straddle on any given day are stable in about 98% of their contents. It really is like some Osirian or Dionysian dismemberment to have one's belief system torn apart, pieces thrown in every direction, most contents remaining up in the air, undetermined. Maybe the belief system needs to be continually shattered for the purpose of finding the surer foundation underneath, but, in any case, it is difficult to operate with any confidence when that belief system one relied on in the past is no longer here. To move on every second with the knowledge that death would end the suffering, makes me go against reason (again, maybe a good thing). Even you, an anonymous stranger, one of the billions of people on this world, I suspect of being a shrink that my parents have contracted to get me to talk with someone. Even though I can trust that someone is trying to do the right thing for me, I cannot trust (in a more complete understanding of the term) someone when other information about my relationship with the person is kept secret. I wish you the best of luck, and if there is ever anything I can do to help you, you know how to reach me

[Anonymous No.13410081]

>>13409711
>why does this need to happen through aggression, though?
For the same reason anything else requires aggression: less direct means have failed to accomplish their goal. Besides, degeneracy is its own violence. Trannies are now convincing virtue-signalling retards whose brains run on Twitter to mutilate and psychologically torture their own children. Fags do the same to children on a slightly smaller scale, but most of the violence fags commit is against vulnerable men (effeminate or outright gay), by convincing them that being gay is synonymous with being a hedonist degenerate whose entire life revolves around disgusting sex.

Half of these people develop major depression, first as a result of becoming part of a cult-like community and lifestyle that severely limits their ability to fit in with wider, mainstream society, and then even worse after they undergo "gay death" (the term for when they are no longer young and attractive, and their prospects of having weekly or daily casual sex begin to dry up). Those who don't develop depression are still addled in a thousand ways from living that lifestyle, which again is mutually exclusive with being a normal person. And of course, current CDC reports project that 35% of all gay white men will have AIDS by age 50 and 50% of all gay black men will have AIDS by age 50.

Trannies are the most obvious problem but fag culture has become outright evil. It's one giant disease-spreading orgy that sucks people out of living normal lives and turns them into career faggots.

>if you let people do whatever they want, you still get a viable society
That's a fine worldview, but it's not mine. Mine is that cultures are fragile things and a few bad apples can spoil the bunch. I am fine with gays and even trannies in small doses. My official stance is that being gay is probably natural to some extent, but that doesn't mean you have to be a fucking mincing narcissistic queer about it. Even if you want to be a circus freak tranny, I'm sure all societies have had weirdos on the fringes.

The problem is when these people take over the mainstream. This is probably impossible in any traditional society, but the modern West is going through a world-historical crisis of faith right now, trying to figure out what it means to live without ready-made values after the dialectic of enlightenment. Whatever carnivalesque or bacchanalian dionysian solar anus type thing might have been represented by Oscar Wilde dandies and freak trannies in a normal society, as the obverse of the normal, they are now overgrown and run amok and making abnormality the norm. And in the absence of real norms, the weakest and most pathetic members of society, the endless herd of proles whose only purpose in life is to sniff out the shibboleths of the day and repeat them mindlessly to avoid social ostracism, are amplifying these freaks even worse so that any dissent is drowned out or shouted down.

[Anonymous No.13410326]

>>13410081
the ironic thing is that I don't even disagree with you that much- but your problem, and the problem most people seem to have (and it's a problem exacerbated by social media) is that you're conflating the vocal minority for the whole. Most "freaks" just want to live normal lives and be treated normally. Anyone would want to be able to get married without an attempt at buying a wedding cake become a national shitshow. Or see someone like you in a movie that isn't an insulting caricature.

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm pretty sure that most minorities don't want special treatment, they just don't want to feel like they're excluded. The dream isn't "everyone is gay and trans and whatever" the dream is "I'm gay and trans and I don't have to be afraid to admit it."

And most of the "freak fringe" crowd or whatever, all those people who are too gay and camp and being trans is their whole personality- that's only obvious, isn't it? It's overcompensating. They've been told their whole lives they're freaks and going to hell and everything else, so they go, "fine, if you think I'm a freak, I'm gonna be a FREAK."

It's the same with anybody else. Look at what happens when you tell someone "hey, maybe call that trans lady, her?" You get fucking rallies of all these people chanting "SHE'S A HE! SHE'S A HE! There are only two genders!" That's just the other end of the spectrum, being belligerent out of spite.

Denying the gays or anyone else the basic human right of being pissed off just because they're not "normal" enough is dishonest.

[Anonymous No.13410403]

Obvious drug deal going on outside our house, aunt called the cops. Waiting to see what will happen

[Anonymous No.13410411]

>>13410326
>And most of the "freak fringe" crowd or whatever, all those people who are too gay and camp and being trans is their whole personality- that's only obvious, isn't it? It's overcompensating. They've been told their whole lives they're freaks and going to hell and everything else, so they go, "fine, if you think I'm a freak, I'm gonna be a FREAK."
Not him, but I'm wondering if you're living in the 90s. I've seen people who used beat the shit out of queers in the 90s and early millennium turn their Facebook icon rainbow for mass shootings. You really must be shut in because all this is far more common than it was. Those people didn't become less violent or less normal, normal's just changed and now they want to torture the perpetrators of the new crimes against normal.

[Anonymous No.13410448]

>>13410411
When was the pulse shooting again?

[Anonymous No.13410466]

I realize now that I never 'outgrew' my childhood fascination with marine life. I've deluded myself into accepting it as a nonviable career choice and I despise myself for doing so.
I firmly believe that deep sea ecosystems are the closest that we, as a race, will ever come to observing extraterrestrials. I share the same respect for the 'post-impact gigantification of mammals' epoch.

[Anonymous No.13410467]

>>13410448
About three years back?

[Anonymous No.13410478]

>>13410466
If it helps any, it's pretty hard to get a job as a marine biologist now. There's an apparent glut of them despite the fact the ocean probably needs more of them.

[Anonymous No.13410505]

>>13410478
I'd prefer it to being NEET. I've always wanted to be the guinea pig in the prototype submersibles they send into the Marianas trench, or at the very least be in a transparent shark cage. This is all despite my near crippling fear of the ocean.

[Anonymous No.13410516]

>>13410505
Can you scuba?

[Anonymous No.13410557]

>>13410467
exactly. don't act dumber than you are. there's a world of difference between something being normalized and something being normal. because bigots met some gay people and realize they're just normal humans too, and all the big corporations realized that gay is a demographic they can market to doesn't mean that gay people aren't discriminated against on a huge scale. it might not be legal anymore to beat a fag to death, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_panic_defense)) but people still do.
if you're lucky as an "out" lgbtq+, the most you'll get is sneered at in disgust. if you're unlucky, you're going to end up in the ER, or worse. I'm not saying there's witch hunts, or local hangings, but there doesn't have to be for there to be discrimination and violence.

[Anonymous No.13410573]

>>13410516
Nope, and I'm fairly certain that if I tried to learn I would panic and surface too quickly, or lose my way. I'm hopeless with practical instruments.

[Anonymous No.13410590]

>>13410557
m8 I remember sucking cock before it was cool. You're either living in a very isolated pocket with no internet who still think Bill Clinton is the president of the US, or you're literally retarded by paranoia. I've had decades of young cocksuckers annoyed that when they came out nothing fucking happened because people like you made them convinced their parents were bound to be bigots. Do you know how fucking long ago Matthew Shepard was? Thinking the way you do was common in the 90s but times have changed now. People who want to be violent have changed with them and now they're rainbow flagged and calling for the Muslims who kill queers to get raped and executed.

[Anonymous No.13410598]

>>13410466
Are you me? Holy shit. I've wanted to be a deep-sea marine biologist since I was six years old. I have an obsession with the weird creatures down there, especially the huge ones.
thought "post impact" is fun, I always had a love for the paleozoic and the cretaceous periods

[Anonymous No.13410603]

>>13410573
You don't have to go to depth. You learn in a pool, get certified, and then offer to clean aquaria. If you're afraid of the ocean, you can still do the shark tank. Is it all water, or just the ocean?

[Anonymous No.13410634]

>>13410598
Nice, I never really had a proclivity for dinosaurs but I don't see others that are as interested in the lesser known 'weird creatures'. I attribute my initial interest to "Ice Age", which introduced me to the concept that these alien things coexisted with humans. I also recall my mother bringing me to the Natural Sciences museum, where they had to-scale models of these mammals. I always looked forward to those trips.

[Anonymous No.13410675]

>>13410603
I am terrified of drowning, but I fear the ocean most. My guess is that it is a primal instinct to avoid large bodies of water, as we were simply not evolved for those conditions. Almost all human senses are impaired by being in water, and it is the place where it is most obvious that man is not the master.
I had a recurring dream where I would wake up at the bottom of the ocean, freezing, feeling my organs crushed under the immense pressure, in pure, pitch blackness, illuminated only by the bioluminescence of the most grotesque and slimy of godless beings. I would pray that I would suffocate or be crushed before something could brush up against my exposed skin, and release my remaining oxygen in a soundless, impotent wail.

[Anonymous No.13410684]

I'm laughing at the spider pig joke

[Anonymous No.13410712]

>>13404514
having a romantic dinner and then romantic-passionate sex with a SSBBW

I know, this shit belongs to r9k, but I just answered the title

[Anonymous No.13410714]

I wish someone would tir me up and peg my ass, just want to stop thinking and bring responsible for things

[Anonymous No.13410727]

>>13410675
>primal instinct to avoid large bodies of water
I think it's you. Kids eyes can focus underwater until they're about eight; we naturally float if we relax; we build boats and fish and swim even in the most primitive cultures.
>>13410675
>bottom of the ocean, freezing, feeling my organs crushed under the immense pressure, in pure, pitch blackness, illuminated only by the bioluminescence of the most grotesque and slimy of godless beings. I would pray that I would suffocate or be crushed before something could brush up against my exposed skin, and release my remaining oxygen in a soundless, impotent wail.
If it's any consolation, the converse of this is we have a natural instinct to inhale the water if we get a cold shock. You can learn to fight it. You have really poetic dreams, I think that's cool.
However, a lot of scuba is about the equipment making you safe. You can fucking throw up into a reg, and it will still let you breathe in clean breathable gases. Your suit will make you float without a weight belt. There's a buddy system and safety checks. Good divers are all about safety because they prefer not to die of the benz or crush injuries. That's why they all think cave divers and solo divers and people who exceed the limit for their gas are fucking mad and don't go diving with them.

[Anonymous No.13410766]

>>13410634
Aw hell yeah. I like dinosaurs fine, but I liked the other things more- the marine life, the insects and the plants. The paleozoic area was all the crazy water monsters.

[Anonymous No.13410895]

>>13410598
>>13410634
>>13410766
>>13410466
Could you guys recommend some books on these topics? Marine biology, paleontology, ancient weird lifeforms, anything. I have a friend whose 5yo niece is nuts about this stuff, and the more she comes into contact with the better. What was particularly influential on you guys?

[Anonymous No.13410939]

>>13410895
Considering her age I'm not really sure what to recommend. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my interests were intitially piqued by "Ice Age" and museum visits, so if you're near Philadelphia I would absolutely recommend the natural history museum. As for actual books, I am woefully short on sources for these topics. I would recommend looking at /pdf/ on 8ch for nonfiction.
>>13410766
This image is incredible. That larger orange creature capturing prey with that appendage is so damn cool. And the multi colored trilobites remind me of a dream I had where I was floating in a sea of orange, red and green mega sharks with only a rope net separating us. Definitely going to look in to this period.

[Anonymous No.13410949]

>>13410939
>>13410895
>>13410766
>>13410634
sure is reddit in here

[Anonymous No.13410959]

>>13410949
>if you like anything you're reddit
I sea. Get it? I wrote sea, because fuck you.

[Anonymous No.13410964]

>>13410949
>stop being enthusiastic about things and be a cynical husk like me
No, get behind me, faggot.

[Anonymous No.13411020]

Cold mothers should all be lined up in an alley and shot. An unaffectionate woman is less than worthless

[Anonymous No.13411022]

>>13410895
>>13410895
Most of the stuff I absorbed as a child, so it was mostly children's books, usually the standard ones. I do remember I had this one, and a thick one about sharks. At that age, most children's books are fine.
Eyewitness books, especially, are good. I loved discovery, and those square books with the plastic pages that were printed? Look inside of , or something, but I can't find them. they're pretty prevalent, and spiral bound. Also, as a german, there's a series called Kinder Entdecken... which is amazing, and translated out of the japanese? But I don't know if it's also in english.

sorry I'm not being very helpful, I don't understand how it can be so hard to find these goddamn books when I've been seeing them everywhere for twenty years, but there you go.

But, I also learned most of it from documentaries, many of which are on youtube. even Beyond Jurassic (dinosaurs, but holy shit, my favorite), so if she hasn't seen them yet, you can open a brand new world

[Anonymous No.13411068]

>>13410939
Yeah, the paleozoic was wild. The thing with all the spins in the back is called the hallucigenia.

[Anonymous No.13411076]

>>13411020
I'm sorry anon

[Anonymous No.13411199]

Just spent the past hour staring at a plate of food in a restaurant. I was lost within a story playing in my head. Talking to a therapist, explaining to him about how I'm scared of being schizophrenic, or at least developing it. He asked me common symptoms and if I had any; voices that aren't mine, fear that someone's plotting against me, hallucinations, emotionally flat. I have none of these, but the stories that play in my head don't really stop or change when I want them to. I explained to him using an example, sexual fantasies, how I didn't care for the sex anywhere near as much as the story leading up to it. Made an example story, how I was in this college class for Philosophy of Aesthetics. There was this one beautiful female there sitting at the front of class. About 5'10, long wavy light brown, having a strong jawline, narrow nose, she was just beautiful considering how everything worked together. Individually, I wouldn't like many of the traits, but it just caught my attention. The class was extremely slow paced, my focus was lost. She caught me staring at her and the right half of her mouth smiled, the left kinda didn't. I walked out of class, she caught me about 20 steps outside of the classroom telling me how she noticed how I was focused on her more than the lesson. I felt stupid and cheesy telling her that I was in a class discussing aesthetics, but the teacher was teaching me far less than she was. She got giggly and I still felt dumb, but I felt incredibly happy. She said I didn't look so bad myself. I offered my number, "just in case you need help studying or anything, but I'm sure you already passed the class with flying colors" on the first day. She talked about her passion for arts, how great the different mediums are for expressing different things, like movies being great for imagery and dialogue for keeping a uniform pace, but being dogshit at internal monologue. Books are fantastic, but a lot of the images fall to interpretation instead of being more objective. Visual novels work, but pacing is ruined, etc. She started describing her favorite pieces and I just loved her passion above anything else. I don't care that she monologued at me, I loved seeing her this happy, opening up to me and feeling so comfortable. Everything around her fell away beside me and her passion. I felt so happy like I haven't in a long time. I discussed my favorite book after she asked, going through pieces of the story.

The waitress asked me if I was okay. Fuck her, I'm enjoying my story. An imagined story of talking to a therapist talking about a fantasy talking to a female talking about a book talking about the struggle of human emotion. I was several layers deep and conclude I couldn't be schizophrenic since this is the only symptom I share. I wish I could write all my imagined stories out, pretend like I could make money, but it seems pretty pseud to get lost in all these layers. Arabian Nights, Inception, someone already did it before (1/2)

[Anonymous No.13411234]

>>13411199
An interesting read, well done. Reminds me of the Machinist. Looking forward to part 2.

[Anonymous No.13411244]

>>13411199
and I'm nowhere near good enough of a writer to pass any of these up. Even if I were, someone would have to stand back and be able to understand it. Even if they could, it is a story that goes nowhere, doesn't have a purpose moving forward, never has conflicts in the traditional sense, and doesn't even have a solid conclusion, it just stops. The reader would sit back to wonder "and so what?" There is no purpose, it's just a story, a near movie with no greater meaning, a mere fantasy I can't truly control, it just plays in my mind. This is a best-case scenario considering readers, and I give book readers way too much credit. It seems that reading is merely a tool of consumption, just as much as politics and football are. Sure, there will be a small niche of serious people, but that isn't profitable. The solution is to self-publish, but to never be read. I don't care so much to be read, to make money, just to be understood. I'm also deeply terrified of being misrepresented, appearing pseud, dishonest, disingenuous, or inauthentic. I'm sitting here still glancing at my plate occasionally wondering what I am even doing writing all this out, posting anonymously. I might start writing out my fantasies solely to improve my writing, but then I feel the urge to share with someone, to be validated in my writing, that I truly am improving and that it isn't merely a fabrication of my imagination, or that I am not truly as bad of a writer as I believe myself to be. I'll finish my steam now.

[Anonymous No.13411257]

>>13411244
Fuck, steak*

[Anonymous No.13411269]

>>13410949
>otaku is not 4chan
Baka pls go and stay go this place is not for you

[Anonymous No.13411352]

One of the very few things I can say with absolute certainty is that I never want to have a son. This world is much too cruel to boys and I wouldn't want him to go through the same things I did

[Anonymous No.13411706]

When that expression acted out on her face, on mines was disgust. Originally, her face hinted at annoyance but natural. Her tone confirmed the suspicion. I told her I wouldn't be doing what she wanted and right then that face, which now seems like it was a mask used to conceal a scripted argument that had played out in her mind, was torn apart by exaggerated expressions bursting forth. The vile contortions of her unnaturally filled lips, the boarish charge of her brow, the revolting surge of her cheeks. The face locked into a nauseating view which seemed to suggest that her performance was suppose to put me in my place. Any interest I had to defend myself was washed away by a sickening feeling. She must've seen it, her face which had been looking down on me as if in victory melted away and a fragile look of embarrassment is all the remained.

[Anonymous No.13411834]

Fucking jews

[Anonymous No.13411856]

I wanna write. lemme write. why can't i write? dad drives me crazy. he's supposed to call monday and thursday, but he won't stop calling all the time. got so frustrated i picked up and tore the batteries out. still mad at him, but more sad. today's the 4th of july so now i feel bad. wanna self-harm, but know if i do i'll just feel more like dreck. com'on, lemme write. why can't i write? why do i suck so fucking hard?

[Anonymous No.13411865]

>>13411856
Look up a video on YouTube called something like “a man goes to the store to buy some milk”

[Anonymous No.13411889]

>>13411865
To whatever anon I replied to that deleted. Your crazy prose was interesting. I hope you don’t self harm today. You should go get a milkshake somewhere. I hope your day is good. My dad died on July 4th, so today is hard for me too.

[Anonymous No.13411959]

>>13411889
>>13411889
i'm really sorry about your dad. i kinda feel bad about bringing my own dad up now, but i guess these things don't change. it sounds weird, but i already went through a terrible mourning phase for my father, and now i don't really know what to do now. i really appreciate you trying to cheer me up.
i only have stupid stuff saved, but i have this and maybe it will make you smile?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26nNM5DsUTo

[Anonymous No.13411993]

>>13411959
Haha. I enjoyed that, anon. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.13412008]

>>13411993
I'm glad. I hope you feel better.

[Anonymous No.13412025]

>>13404982
We've reached levels of autism I thought were not even possible

[Anonymous No.13412061]

is anyone else completely certain that death will be someone's fault?

looking at both the world and myself, i can really only imagine my life ending one of a few different ways
>suicide
>hit by a car
>murdered for political or ethnic reasons
>the american healthcare system

like, unless I get cancer before im 60 I don't see myself living long enough for untreatable natural causes to get to me

[Anonymous No.13412062]

>>13404514
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvnBUuojbHc

[Anonymous No.13412069]

>>13412061
my side of the family is apparently blessed with long life. gonna be honest; not digging it.

[Anonymous No.13412509]

>alone: wish i had company
>with people: wish i were alone

why am i like this

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.13412586]

>>13412509
Sometimes you want in, sometime you want out.
It’s perfectly normal. Not enjoying the balance is what your problem might be.

[Anonymous No.13412591]

>>13412586
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0bf3ah5LQkK

:3

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.13412594]

>>13412591
What does it say?

[Anonymous No.13412599]

>>13412594
open it

[Anonymous No.13412619]

>>13406875
Thank you!

[Anonymous No.13412904]

I’m losing control of my life. I’m experiencing synchronicities nearly every day and as a result I’m losing my grasp on reality. I was diagnosed with autism last year and I’ve been battling drug addiction ever since.

[Anonymous No.13412909]

>>13412904
You could be developing schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. How is your mood?

[Anonymous No.13412943]

>>13412909
I try to stay neutral and meditate. Without drugs or work to focus on I feel low and hopeless

[Anonymous No.13412956]

Sometimes I think I'm more enamored with the idea of being an artist than actually creating art. No matter what I make; be it music, prose, or visual art, I always find the end result to be unappealing. It always feels forced and cheesy. How can I get past this? I feel like it would help if I could just narrow my interests down to one field, but I'm probably the most indecisive person alive.

[Anonymous No.13412957]

>>13412943
I obviously can't say over just a handful of posts but it is worth looking up those conditions, or seeing a doctor if you can, because you really want to nip those in the bud if possible. Speaking from experience and also from data here, there are far better outcomes for people if they can get a hold of those conditions before they set in and make a mess of their lives.

[Anonymous No.13412962]

>>13412956
Put yourself in the art, make your art about you.

[Anonymous No.13413019]

It's the Fourth of July and my neighborhood sounds like Fallujah in 2003
I am incredibly happy

[Anonymous No.13413057]

>>13412904
Sometimes I feel like i'm on the Truman show (Based on a novel by Philip K Dick called Time Out of Joint btw). Everyone's just an actor on a stage and they all know exactly what I'm up to and what I've been thinking.

[Anonymous No.13413063]

>In response to another such theory alleging that her visions were caused by bovine tuberculosis as a result of drinking unpasteurized milk, historian Régine Pernoud wrote that if drinking unpasteurized milk could produce such potential benefits for the nation, then the French government should stop mandating the pasteurization of milk

[Anonymous No.13413077]

[Anonymous No.13413096]

>>13413057
Yeah, like I’m on some weird iteration of that show. It is comforting to know that I’m not the only one with these thoughts.

[Anonymous No.13413136]

>>13413096
And I'm certainly not psychotic. I believe the brunt of it can be explained by the internet, the way we pour ourselves out there in this big open digital gutter. You don't know who picks up on what. Everything is getting webscraped and data mined. Someone's probably spanking it to a picture of you somewhere, or you're doing the same to them. It's really quite something.

[Anonymous No.13413273]

Talking with a nice girl is an unbelievably good feeling

[Anonymous No.13413336]

>>13413096
I'm in the middle of the same strain of psychotic nonsense. I like a Jungian (also platonic/Hindi/Taoist) take on the scenario. The goal of life might be reducible to the unification of subject/object, lover/beloved, atman/Brahman (in a sense) and the impulse involved in delusional thoughts of the Truman show variety are essentially related to the subject/object relationship. It has a great deal to do with consciousness and its relationship with the unconscious. Unconscious contents are presented to consciousness and are projected onto our perception of the material world (I'm not saying that all of the synchronicities are invented by the mind, the material world is influenced by reality, but the whole material realm is 'invented', fake, a veil to see through). The idea that others around us are playing out some narrative points to the idea that we are chained in a cave watching content projected on the wall in front of us by the fire behind us. I'm thinking that the way to move beyond is to recognize the fact that all we see in the material world are shadows being moved by fate. Plato says that the dumb people are all arguing amongst themselves trying to guess what came before and what comes after, under the impression that the shadows are real, which might correspond to, with regard to Truman show psychosis, allowing the synchronicities to upset oneself, cause disruptions in emotions or passions, or think the delusions to be 'really real'/effectual/worth concerning oneself with. The only way to break the chains and turn around to see the fire is to free oneself from concern about the shadows. Truman show delusions offer an effective means to fully appreciate the ineffectual nature of the shadows, I think it might be a bit of a blessing. I'm working to completely understand the idea that the mind of God comprehends all in such a way that any contrivance that we allow to occur in our minds (any leaning toward love of self as opposed to love of God) is stupid, futile, and self-destructive. I think this helps to loosen the binds. Love of self is what separates us from the mind of God. Truman show paranoia is a fast-track to the destruction of the ego. The delusion that everyone sees you doing everything is the way that the human mind can conceive of the relationship between the human and divine mind. God sees (moreover, comprehends) all, but the human mind interprets the unconscious content as meaning that all the people around oneself know everything about oneself because the unconscious contents are being projected onto our activities in the material world. I'm sorry if I've said too much, but I feel like this is a general way to say something that could help someone dealing with this psychosis. I've been dealing with it for a few years.

[Anonymous No.13413519]

> reading The diary of a country priest
damn...
i almost feel actual human affection towards the teller. wish i could be there to engage in long obscurely strange conversations.

[Anonymous No.13414199]

Most beautiful passage I've ever read. Greeks eternally btfo.

[Anonymous No.13415327]

Jonny took his gun is kind of touching but also horrifying as i'm paranoid about ending up trapped, unable to kill myself

[Anonymous No.13415358]

>>13404514
just eaten a whole pack (200g) of imitation crab sticks

[Anonymous No.13415377]

I used to find discussing stuff here embarrassing. After reading the paltry, baby-shit level of discussion on other corners of the internet I feel less bad.

[Anonymous No.13415441]

>>13404514
I've started showing symptoms of aphasia- I'm mixing up qpdb with increasing frequency to the point that it's nearly constant- but only that, and only when typing. I don't have this problem while reading, or when writing by hand (but I haven't written long block texts in a while). I can't find anything online about computer-specific aphasia or whatever it is.

Is this a thing that happens or am I just imagining things? Am I going crazy?

[Anonymous No.13415450]

Started feeling nostalgia for the way light looks at certain times of the year. Wind, clouds, wet grass.

[Anonymous No.13415481]

>>13415358
I have a bag of cherries the size of my head I'm working through.

[Anonymous No.13415487]

>>13415441
It's a form of dyslexia. It's pretty common

[Anonymous No.13415503]

>>13415450
God, I've had this for years.
Imagining an evening on a late summer day, standing in hip-tall, chest-tall, dead grass while the sun goes down, watching insects zip around in the air that's so thick you can almost see it and it all looks golden. You're eight, you're ten, twelve. You've been outside all day and you're sweaty, dirty. You've got scratches all down your legs and arms and they itch. Behind one shoulder is an old tree with too few leaves and that grey, crumbling moss on the bark. It's just barely the wrong side of too hot, but there's a breeze and everything's humming. The sun is burning into your eyes from the side.
I could cry. It's this scene the most, and just thinking about it practically validates everything in Catcher in the Rye. Holden imagines the Rye field, but for me, it's this.
Nostalgia is such a shit feeling.

[Anonymous No.13415506]

>>13415487
Is it really? Can you just... get it? And in such a limited capacity?

[Anonymous No.13415649]

I don't know what to do with myself because I can't separate realistic goals and ambitions from media-induced fantasies. I've been lonely and desiring companionship for years, if anything can be called my desire that is it: to no longer be alone. But because of my isolation my only images of friendship, love, belonging, etc have come from media, and media is not a reflection of reality. Living together with your good bros and spending all day fucking around is not a realistic depiction of human relationships. Well, maybe if you're a trust fund kid but I'm not so it's irrelevant.

The worst part is that because this is all based in fantasy I have no assurance that if, miraculously, I was able to obtain my perfect dream reality that I would actually enjoy it. I've experienced that immediate disillusionment with something you've sought after before over smaller things, I don't know why it wouldn't come into play here.

What is one to do when they do not know what to want? My life right now is just going through the motions while longing for an unobtainable fantasy, it's killing me. I need, I think, an image of a *real* mode of life that I can find fulfilling, but how can an image ever show the full reality of something?

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.13415674]

>>13415649
Disconnect it.

[Anonymous No.13415707]

I made it awkward between us. Sometimes there's no going back from that. No more than you can unburst a bubble.

[Anonymous No.13415765]

>>13415707
bummer. I don't know what happened, or what you've already done, but I'd write a single, simple text apologizing and saying you recognize you made it awkward and then leaving the other person space? If you give them control over the situation, they might eventually feel comfortable again. At the very least, if it's unsalvageable, you can make the break less painful.

you can't unburst a bubble, but sometimes you can blow another one.

[Anonymous No.13415795]

>>13415506
Since it's technically dysgraphia and bpdq and usually when typing, yeah it's acquirable and without brain damage. I wouldn't worry about it.
Other forms of acquired dyslexia/dysgraphia usually mean you're having a stroke or something, so it could be much worse. Tiredness and distractibility and habit are probably the total of your problem. If you were mixing up minestrone and mineshaft or something it would be seek urgent medical treatment, but your kind of dysgraphia is normal. Rest, concentrate, and proofread. That's about it.

[Anonymous No.13415813]

>>13415795
Ok, cool. Thanks man.

[Anonymous No.13415836]

>>13415481
based and summerpilled
>>13415450
for my personality, i'm too much of a hopeless romantic when it comes to light and natural imagery. i'm also slowly going blind, makes the pictures feel even more special. they capture what i can't fully see. pic is last summer

[Anonymous No.13415899]

There's some kind of pressure in my head behind my right eye. I noticed it a week or two ago and it's become more intense as time has gone on. Combined with the other stuff going on (suicidal thoughts, mood swings, memory problems, difficulty speaking/writing) I wonder if it's a sign of a serious problem or just a simple headache.

[Anonymous No.13416047]

>>13415899
if it's not going away and even intensifying, ypu better visit a doc as soon as you can. it can be a tumor.

[Anonymous No.13416057]

>>13415899
>>13416047
I agree with anon.
Tumors pressing on certain parts of the brain can cause all of this, as well:
>(suicidal thoughts, mood swings, memory problems, difficulty speaking/writing)

[Anonymous No.13416069]

Tomorrow I'll first go to ikea with the wife to get some furniture to the new house of ours. Then I'll spend the evening in a friends house trying to score on chicks+ tinder while vodka drunk.

When you stop giving a fuck good things start happening.

[Anonymous No.13416082]

>>13416069
why did you get a house with your wife if you want to cheat on her

[Anonymous No.13416099]

>>13416082

Nah dude I bought this house. And you know when you get along the road you start seeing the reality. Its not like shes been anymore reliable anyways. A good marriage is like a company where to families get a reason to get together for making money.

C'mon man love is dead if you mean the totally romantic.

[Anonymous No.13416104]

>>13416069
bluepilled to the core. you think ypu're rebelling against restrictive morals by cheating and drinking, but that's just being trapped in a shinier cage.

[Anonymous No.13416127]

>>13416099
marriage SHOULD be a friendship.

[Anonymous No.13416160]

>>13416104

At this point I'm not even thinking just going turbosheep. I have good paying job with 5 weeks holiday and a wife who does the house stuff in the richest country in the world. While talking 4 languages fluently.

Its like as if this was once a game but now I've won.

[Anonymous No.13416193]

>>13416160

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFkcAH-m9W0

[Anonymous No.13416195]

>>13416160
i must admit it's based but still bluepilled. but lately it seems to me that only the "blue pill" can make a man truly happy and bring satisfaction.
you may derive pleasure from "awareness" and being "above the normie", the nearly spiritual kind of it, but the essence of the "red pill" is constant disagreement with the Usual Axis, doubt and questioning. it wears on you and eventually leads to insanity.
so, good for you, man.

[Anonymous No.13416197]

>>13404514
Im not really a writer.

[Anonymous No.13416202]

tfw want to kill yourself but literally can’t

[Anonymous No.13416208]

>>13416195

But I agree with nothing. Not a bit of the consensus is something that I find desirable. Not a bit of the propaganda is getting at me. Not an inch of is getting root at my soul.

That I guess is your dilemma then.

[Anonymous No.13416249]

>>13416208
> this level on delusion
Literal fedora copypasta

[Anonymous No.13416258]

>>13416202
reading "Jonny took his gun" now, actually thankful for the fact i can kill myself

[Anonymous No.13416269]

>>13404514
i have weird as fuck dreams and im considering putting them into some form of media

[Anonymous No.13416285]

>>13416269
go for it bruv
the only thing i sincerely hate about my occasional insomnia is that i miss today's dream. have an open notebook and a pen within arm's reach so you can quickly document it especially if you awake in the middle of the night

[Anonymous No.13416309]

>>13416285
i wish i could animate it but im not the most talented human. ill give it a go.

[Anonymous No.13416317]

>>13404514
Turning over a new leaf, I
prodded the still body and woke
a sceptre, carelessly.
Merciful the kindness is in
a time you don't measure
except to laugh with.
In order to turn, it must be
unattach; a dead leaf
that some summer wind spun
and twisted free the twig and alit
downwards.
Only in rest on a sunny day, already dead inside.

[Anonymous No.13416321]

>>13416309
if it's really exceptional, write a decent script and try contacting some studious or art students doing their grad projects

[Anonymous No.13416336]

>>13416317

English is such a bad language for poetry. Where is the feeling of life? Of anything but a robotical non personality?

Shit. Everything in english is shit.

[Anonymous No.13416344]

>>13416336
vocabulary is beautiful, as a synesthetic i'm in deep love with some words, yet syntaxis is utter shite imo

[Anonymous No.13416361]

>>13416344

As a foreign speaker I find english descriptive but that does work at all in poetry. There is no play or omission, it just feels dead.

[Anonymous No.13416480]

>>13416336
Its blunt nature is the only sure sign of the potential emotional quality behind it. Other languages just signify themselves in flow and tone to the point that you might as well be playing an instrument rather than saying anything true. But I suppose it's only fair that truth and proud sentiment are left for English speakers.

[Anonymous No.13416519]

The universe and everything in itself is my will.

[Anonymous No.13416552]

>>13416336
>English is such a bad language for poetry.
Well, yes. Because there is no such thing as 'English poetry'. Poetry in English is a high-class faggy affectation, usually by old dry people aping literal translations of poetry they read in other languages.

In other cultures poetry is a natural, pleasant thing you learn in toddlerhood, something as natural and clean as mother's milk and and a day on a summer playground.

I think the Normans ruined any possibility of English poetry. Maybe without the adulteration of English with French it would have gone differently through history.

[Anonymous No.13416646]

>>13416552
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9HKl8H0PWg

[Anonymous No.13416677]

>>13416552
Was the Neoplatonists fault, which really can be traced back to the Humanists. Basically blame epicurious and horney monks for all the laments and silly >>13416646 troubadour traditions. Fuck those bros. You a Plath fan, femanon?

[Anonymous No.13416949]

>>13416519
Will into it a girlfriend for me, thank you

[Anonymous No.13417048]

>>13416519
wow nice

[Anonymous No.13417112]

Is it normal to have nothing pleasurable happen in one's life for months at a time, to not enjoy any hobbies or feel motivated to do anything that isn't an immediate obligation and to feel empty when you do force yourself to do things or talk to people?

[Anonymous No.13417865]

>>13416519
please give me a comfy life Will

[Anonymous No.13417886]

I hate EU4 and if I ever play it again I'm going to fucking kill myself

[Anonymous No.13417929]

>>13417886
But EU4 is the easiest paradox game, and the most interesting.

[Anonymous No.13417939]

I don't have any ambitions

[Anonymous No.13417958]

>>13417112
I have the same feeling. I don't know if there's an end to the tunnel though.

[Anonymous No.13417963]

>>13417939
any ideas on how to find it?

[Anonymous No.13418024]

>>13417963
not really. my main problem is that every time I get interested in something and think "maybe this is what I want to do / be / accomplish / whatever" I throw myself into it then tire of it in a couple weeks. This has happened probably five or six times this year alone. I can't commit to anything. For example I could not for the life of me justify why I did the degree I did (though if you asked me last year I may have declared it my calling).

I suspect the internet is partially to blame to this, the endless flow of mildly entertaining content really dampers any grand designs you might have. I'm thinking about trying to forcefully go offline for a while, but I don't know how I'll prevent myself from, say, just pivoting to watching anime I have downloaded instead of web browsing.

[Anonymous No.13418067]

>>13417958
Good luck anon, hope you're having a better go of things than me.

[Anonymous No.13418173]

I'm tired of my dumb and "redneck" friends, I want to know more interesting people. I don't consider myself really smart but holy shit you should see them

[Anonymous No.13418179]

>>13418024
Pick something and finish it. Doesn't matter what it is or whether you like it or need it, do it and finish it. Repeat.

[Anonymous No.13418180]

>>13404514
https://discord.gg/sJpcEqV

[Anonymous No.13418193]

antiexistence starting to look kinda cool!

[Anonymous No.13418206]

just spending a weekend away from my partner and worried about her being safe or whatever makes me wonder how the fuck i am gonna be able to have children without tearing myself in two everytime they leave the house. im not sure how i became codependent like this

[Anonymous No.13418254]

>>13418179
I will try. I have some story drafts I want to finish and get submitted somewhere, thought I doubt this will have much of an impact on my life.

[Anonymous No.13418286]

>>13404514
Am being I? Me no know.

[Anonymous No.13418556]

>>13418173
be careful or you'll end up like me, thinking everyone you meet is boring and beneath you
which may be true if the metric is "useless philosophic ideas pondered", but it makes life miserable
also my one "intellectual" friend is kind of a prick, which makes me think I am too

[Anonymous No.13418621]

It makes me very sad that the traditions of native European paganism are basically dead. I'm not an anti-semite or anything but I wish that people like me could have a faith that is our own story and not about some desert tribe that has nothing to do with us. It doesn't make sense that the locus of social conservatism for white people is a foreign adoption, I really don't understand how something like that could ever have happened, just the idea of it sounds so strange. All of the cultural heritage just wiped out and permanently gone.

[Anonymous No.13418634]

>>13404514
I’ve always lived in a big city. Some quiet nights I hear some birds chirping at my window and think to myself how very much like humans they are, agitated around midnight, they never stop looking for something to fuck

[Anonymous No.13418655]

>>13418621
it annoys me that people sneer at neo-pagans as being weird hippies and dismiss their spirituality. especially fucking catholics, whose religion is a syncretism of christianity and native european religions no matter how much they deny it

[Anonymous No.13418681]

>>13418655
I would say Protestants are more guilty of that than Catholics. I kind of like how some parts of Catholicism are still very influenced by pagan ideas: all of the festivals, and the patron saints, it feels like much more of an alive and organic culture than what protties have. Catholics seem to not fetishise Jews as much as the other sects do either, which is a much healthier attitude to have

[Anonymous No.13418778]

>>13418621
Christianity absorbed paganism

[Anonymous No.13418988]

shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Shut up about everything!

[Anonymous No.13419045]

>>13418988
a post i can agree with for once.

[Anonymous No.13419556]

>>13418655
The reason why a lot of Catholics get upset with pagans (or vice versa) is because neopagans often know less about the original pagans than the Catholics. Catholics are unperturbed by Halloween being originally pagan: it's how they converted the Irish and they're doing very well off the back of that. They don't give a shit that people say cannibalism makes them worse than the hippy dippy love nature new witches: godcannibalism is how they converted the human sacrifice heart eating Central Americans, and that's been doing better than Wicca for them. They know the history of these things, while neopagans don't expect anyone to read what the Vikings were doing when the missionaries got shipped to them and how that affected the Eddas being written down by the monks. Wiccans on the other hand rarely know it was invented by a retired English civil servant nudist in the last century. American protestants likewise tend to think biblical literalism has been a thing forever: it only really starts to pick up steam just before 1900 in the US, and most of the early versions they came up with all went socialist.

[Anonymous No.13419730]

>>13415649
Try out new things.
In case you're a failed normie, "trying out new things" is not limited to "real life activities," should that turn you off. MMORPGs, drawing, writing short stories, reading web comics/web novels, new languages, etc. In case you aren't a failed normie I trust you can think of something to do that isn't something you already habitually do.

>>13415674
>time to make myself look deep, what should i write this time i wonder :3c

[Anonymous No.13419743]

>>13414199
But anon, that doesn't btfo the Greeks at all.

[Anonymous No.13419751]

>>13412509
Because you judge people in your head a lot.

[Anonymous No.13419752]

I'm finna take the Quakerpill. What a lovely and quaint instance of religion.

[Anonymous No.13419769]

I saw a report on tv recently about an elementary school that teaches kids about climate change and then it went on to show a little montage of little interviews with the 10 years or so old kids and each of them said something like "I find it good that we learn about climate change, because we'll be the ones living on this planet in the future" and "I think climate change awareness is important because we need it for a healthy planet" and damn did it make me uncomfortable, everything they said was some phrase or argument they must've heard an adult say to them

[Anonymous No.13419772]

I haven't sat on a toilet for years. Instead, I sit in the air just above it, without touching the seat.
I wonder how this has affected my body, if at all

[Anonymous No.13419774]

>>13419769
>everything they said was some phrase or argument they must've heard an adult say to them
like literally everything else children say. what a revelation

[Anonymous No.13419783]

>>13404651
>>13404674
She is partly sunk into the sofa, making her seem thinner in width than she is. See: extra part of waist you can make out in the little gap between cushions.

[Anonymous No.13419793]

>>13419774
What a retarded post to bother making, like hearing somebody talk about how voting participating is too low and going "but politicians do what they want anyway so we might as well all stop voting together"
Don't bother responding to that though, my actual response is this: Seeing the kids parroting adults is different there because they were intentionally made to parrot these ideas, like there were people that needed that sense of satisfaction they get from seeing "muh young heroes of the future" and because of that indoctrinated those kids. Vastly different from some kid repeating something it heard an adult say to another adult.

[Anonymous No.13419800]

These threads kept getting deleted for a while a while ago, what was up with that? Seemed like the mods decided to no longer allow them on here or something.

[Anonymous No.13419811]

For the past couple of days I've noticed a bright light shining out the tip of dick. Like a flash light beam shooting out my cock hole. I can't emphasise how bright it is, it can light up a dark room perfectly well and I've considered using it to help me read at night but I haven't done that yet. It is so bright I can see it when I close my eyes to sleep, so I place a sock over it and the sock glows a muted orange like the tip of ET's finger. I would think maybe this is an STI but I've never had sex in my life.

[Anonymous No.13419813]

>>13419793
yes, but all of a child's beliefs are the result of adults' influence, intentional or not, and this extends well into adulthood. chances are, yours too.

[Anonymous No.13419820]

>>13419752
I know a number of people who consider themselves practicing Quakers, but what I've seen of their religion reminds me more of a megachurch-brand guitar and tambourine show than the Quakerism you read about in history books.

[Anonymous No.13419837]

>>13419813
Yes, but that's inevitable and in no way worrying or offputting. A parent could try to be as unindoctrinating as they can be and the kid would still take influence, I understand that is how it is, everybody does. The issue is when the indoctrination happens intentionally. The problem then isn't that *now* the kid is holding beliefs that aren't their own - I've already explicitly acknowledged that this happens either way - the issue are the adults. It's disgusting to see an adult indulge in manipulating kids. Most definitely without disrespectable motives in mind, obviously, "we're just teaching the kids to worry about literally their own future," sure, but there undeniably unavoidable undebatably is a factor of "yee look at these kids having a more RIGHTEOUS world view and you evil environment harmers!", the kids turn into some vehicle of reinforcement of their twisted world view of them being good and others evil.

In the worst case, that is. The vast majority of times there's nothing problematic behind it all, or rather only to an extent where it doesn't matter. But in the extreme cases, in the cases that make it on TV, there actually is this factor present, and it's disconcerting to see it.

[Anonymous No.13419874]

>>13419751
I wish it were that simple

[Anonymous No.13419891]

>>13419874
It may just be a very complicated issue that boils down to a lot of approaches for solving it, all of which would eventually come branching out of not condemning people in your head.
Or do you mean that you don't really do that anyway?

[Anonymous No.13419913]

Every time I try to write something I feel like I'm bound by a bunch of shackles on my narration and way of storytelling at large that I just can't seem to nail down and rid myself of. Stuff along the lines of my narration taking on a tone of dialogue with the reader, or being unable to write a character doing something that's not concretely rooted in some objectively reasonable motive. I just want to be free bros.

[Anonymous No.13419975]

>>13419891
The people I'm referring to I've been friends with for many years and I don't judge them negatively.

I spend most of my time alone and long for companionship but then as soon as I get together with one of the few friends I keep in contact with I find the interaction feels unnatural, lacking, and unfulfilling in contrast to how I imagined it would be when I was alone.

Perhaps we've just grown apart but even with random acquaintances/coworkers I feel like I don't have anything in common with anyone. Conversations seem more like we're mutually humoring one another with feigned interest for a short while through some sense of social obligation rather than being genuine and I'm weary of the convention.

[Anonymous No.13419983]

>>13419800
they were moved to /r9k/ or sometimes outright 404'd, for some reason the mods/jannies have not been messing with them lately - which is good since I missed these threads

[Anonymous No.13419991]

>>13419820
Hmm, I dunno about that. All their meeting places are rather humdrum. They seem a lot more low-key and less ostentatious than the megachurches. They're only about 300k of them in the world.
Then again I would not be surprised. I like idea of Quakers but as usual people ruin everything.

[Anonymous No.13420003]

>>13419800
It's some fucking tourist janitor or mod who visits here once in a blue moon and deletes a bunch of shit.
They get deleted rarely because that's about how rare that particular cunt's visits to the board are

[Anonymous No.13420004]

My father was an alcoholic, and every time I overindulge in anything I'm overcome with fear that I'm turning into him.

I wouldn't want to die and leave my family like he did. Even though he wasn't much of anything towards the end of his life he was still my dad. And somehow, despite his death, he still influences me in weird little ways like this.

I guess I just miss him.

[Anonymous No.13420028]

>>13408422
looks wonderful, thanks for sharing

>write what's on your mind
At the moment, I guess I appreciate reading all the different perspectives in these threads.
I'm drinking too much coffee, and back to drinking too much wine.
>You will never overcome your base impulses
Writing bits and pieces here and there, strumming a guitar, refusing to give up manchild fantasies.
I suppose I should contemplate death more often; perhaps that would cure me of the adolescent dreams that don't seem to want to fall away like so much chaff.
>>13418024
this sounds painfully familiar. can't seem to focus attention and commit to a thing

[Anonymous No.13420040]

>>13419913
I know this feeling, I can't bring myself to write "unrealistic" characters. You know, one's that would do the types of things that occur in fiction novels. I always stop myself and think, a normal person wouldn't do that. You have to remind yourself that most fiction isn't about normal people. Maybe you need to read more widely for some inspiration. In reading Naked Lunch at the moment and it's inspiring me to write more boldly, ambitiously, and more freely.

[Anonymous No.13420081]

>>13419991
Don't let me discourage you, my last exposure to Quakerism was a long time ago and I could be remembering things wrong. From what I recall there are a variety of different sects/meetings, it could be that I only heard about a super liberal one.

[Anonymous No.13420172]

>>13420081
If being liberal is a deal breaker then you are not going to have a fun time with the Quakers

[Anonymous No.13420200]

>>13417886
sounds like someone needs to get annexed by Brandenburg xDD

[Anonymous No.13420273]

>>13404514
my fucking earring hole closed up and now I'm going to have to fuck around until I tear it open again or some shit.
why are my ears like this? I have to do this every 3 years.

[Anonymous No.13420313]

>>13420273
ive not taken my earring out in three years

[Anonymous No.13420337]

Fingering a vagina is like seeing the face or god

[Anonymous No.13420377]

>>13420313
that's the dream. I don't know why I did in the first place- I usually keep in creoles so I can sleep in them and then forget it. But I just stopped, and now I gotta fucking deal with this shit.

[Anonymous No.13420394]

>>13420337
yeah, I finger my vagina all the time, and that's definitely not true.

[Anonymous No.13420397]

>>13420394
Doesn't work with fat girls

[Anonymous No.13420424]

>>13420397
Vaginas are vaginas.What exactly are we talking about here? The slimey raw meat part, or the hairy part?

[Anonymous No.13420551]

I've been watching anime (JoJo), but it's OK because it's strictly for the homoeroticism

[Anonymous No.13420555]

>>13404516
not gonna make it

[Anonymous No.13420560]

>>13420551
>anime
>homoeroticism
Wrong board.

[Anonymous No.13420639]

>>13420560
>he doesn't enjoy watching glam, muscled men beat each other up
no taste desu

[Anonymous No.13420647]

>>13420639
I don't.

[Anonymous No.13420655]

>>13404837
Burgerland, i presume.

[Anonymous No.13420721]

>>13420273
done. I hope I got through the old hole and didn't accidentally make a new one.

[Anonymous No.13420812]

>>13404516
NEVER gonna make it.

[Anonymous No.13420887]

>>13404514
sauce on artwork?

[Anonymous No.13420901]

It's her again. That stupid cunt.
That obnoxious, self-absorbed, stupid cunt. She's brought her 3 hellspawn with her today too. I wonder how much there will be to pick up after they leave. Fucking brats. Break their tiny filthy hands. Pinch their dirty cheeks and don't release until the flesh comes off. Always screaming. A belting would give them something to scream about. Raze their asses until bloody pulps remain. But that woman. That ugly cow. What compelled those men to fuck such a disgusting beast. Meth, alcohol--whatever it was, its effects were temporary. Sobriety showed her fuckers what a despicable cunt she was. What man could call himself a man by staying with that wretched fat cesspool. Nigger. That is how lowly I think of you. A disgusting word for a disgusting person. Nigger. Nigger kids. Niggers.
Here she comes, waddling up to the counter, bending the cart handle and stressing the wheels. People wonder why they squeak and roll wobbly. Niggers. There are her nigger children. Future welfare queens. Future nigger mothers--nigger mothers of more nigger kids. Disgusting. I smile.
"Good to see you again. Have you found everything you came in for today?"
"Mhm."
How dare you mumble to me, you stupid nigger. I should strike you for that.
"That's terrific! Oh, and how are you girls today?"
"... good, ehehehe..."
Only 1 nigger child answered me. Probably the only one who will finish her nigger education in grade school. Another nigger kid hid behind her nigger cow mother and the last nigger child is wrapping her nigger lips and nigger tongue around my nigger-free candy. I hope you die in a car fire.
Look at this fat nigger. Putting nigger-approved groceries on my freshly wiped down counter I just cleaned with Nigger-Away! spray. Soda, gatorade, chips, cookies, frozen junk food.
"Will that be all today?"
"Hol' on, hol' on, gon' grab one more thang..."
More chips, more soda, spicy nuts. A non-nigger man is waiting behind you, unruly nigger. How dare you keep him waiting. Stupid nigger, how dare you come to my counter if you were not ready to leave quickly. How dare you leave your obnoxious nigger children hanging around my counter.
"Heehee, we good now."
"Glad to hear it! Your total came to $15.48."
"EBT."
Non-nigger men--me, the non-nigger man waiting behind you--are paying for you, you fat disgusting shameful excuse of a life, and your future disgusting shameful excuses of lives nigger kids. You are also lowering my average transaction with your nigger-spending, you worthless nigger-customer.
"Well, looks like you're all set! Come back and see us again!"
"Ok."
Ooga booga nigger monkey. I hope nigger-heart disease sets in from your gluttonous eating habits. I hope the local nigger-hoodlum gang does a drive-by on your home. I hope one of 3 shameless men who fucked your nigger ass and gave you nigger kids comes back and kills you out of regret.
"Thanks for your patience, sir. We appreciate it."
He looked around, leaning in.
"Niggers, right?"

[Anonymous No.13420907]

finished a sketchbook for my fren
he'll be there in about a month, been friends for over two years now, hope you'll meet your ebros someday too.

[Anonymous No.13420931]

>>13420901
High quality post

[Anonymous No.13421026]

>>13420901
Is this an excerpt from what you're working on or unironically your life senpai?

[Anonymous No.13421039]

>>13404514
Trying to be less neurotic, focusing on my breathing is the best way I can do this.

[Anonymous No.13421041]

>>13404514
I don't know what I want to write about
I have so many ideas, but none of them go anywhere meaningful, and I don't know why

[Anonymous No.13421088]

>>13421039
based and calmpilled.
>>13421041
try fleshing them out, even the shittiest ones. start with ideas you find easy to write about, even if they're utter crap, it's a good way to get your engine going.

[Anonymous No.13421128]

trannies are mentally ill

[Anonymous No.13421156]

>>13421128
there's no meaningful distinction between mentally-well and mentally-unwell to made in present society

[Anonymous No.13421177]

>>13418024
try not forcing yourself to do anything and you will naturally be doing what you like. be creative and turn whatever you like into something viable. Even if it is being on social media all day. Okay?

[Ulysses No.13421198]

Witcher games completely butchered the visual looks of both main protagonist and his love interest. They were supposed to be outcasts, ugly looking monsters, created by societal groups they were part of since birth. CDPR turned them into omagawdsohot playboy-grade models.
This saddens me, because I really enjoyed how they both were portrayed as unlikeable fags in the books and for once I could read about love between ugly people, and relate to it.

Yeah, irrelevant and unimportant whining, I know.

[Anonymous No.13421207]

I’m coming up against a self imposed publishing deadline and I’m super burned out. Afraid I won’t have the discipline or creative energy to write this book on time. Ugh

[Anonymous No.13421265]

Falling for a girl I work with. We share some idiosyncratic personality traits, which is a little unsettling to meet in someone else. But she has this incredible grace and poise about her, like her body is gliding above everything else. I brought it up once and she claimed it was just "good posture".

Gonna make a move next timw I'm with her.

[Anonymous No.13421305]

>>13421265
godspeed, bruv.
i think good posture and strong back are things almost vanished these days, i myself have a crooked spine and have to consciously straighten it, yet i see tons of healthy people with postures worse than mine.

[Anonymous No.13421329]

>>13421305
sup fellow /fucked back/ bro. I've found that my posture has improved a lot since I started working out regularly, I imagine being stronger makes it easier to hold proper form.

[Anonymous No.13421345]

I'm conflicted on my philosophy in life.
On one hand, I believe nobody is born a genius, and there is no ceiling to your possibilities, if you work hard enough and have enough knowledge.
On another, I think human conciousness could be emulated on a computer, granted it must be sophisticated.
The way these two theories collide is: If computers can into human, then humans need to be calculable. If they are, then they can't possibly have limitless potential.

I wish to talk with my friends about this, but I can't preach transhumanism to them while not having strong faith in it myself, that's just amoral and wrong on all levels.

[Anonymous No.13421377]

>>13421345
it's already clear there's a ceiling to your potential because you have a finite life

[Anonymous No.13421385]

>>13404514
The OP's pic is cringey badly drawn shit.

[Anonymous No.13421386]

>>13421305
Thanks bro. I'm feeling pretty good about. We've been hanging out a lot this past week. Last night I drove her home from work and we talked in my car until 2:30 in the morning

[Anonymous No.13421391]

>>13421377
That's quite obvious, anon. I was talking capabilities of mind, not those of the body.

[Anonymous No.13421399]

When I was 7, my father took me trout fishing. When we finally caught something, I was anxious to be the one who killed it, so I picked up a small sick and hit the fish with it a few times. As pitiful as the hits was, my father grabbed my hand, took the stick and told me “If you do that one more time, I’ll hit you with it”. Then he lined up a knife and drove it through the fish’s head while I sulked behind him. When I linger on that event I start to feel sick. I’m not sure what that day means to me, but I’ve never felt the same since.

[Anonymous No.13421650]

>>13421177
that's what I've been doing and I just turned into a degenerate

[Anonymous No.13421871]

Short excerpt from some story I told myself in a dream:

Faint though it was, it reminded me of my days as a student, drunkenly waking to a very specific sound. The languages may change, and the years may drag by, but the sound of the police ransacking buildings never changes. The harshness of their orders, the symphony of glass breaking, the rythym and its ever changing notes, I can never forget. By God, they are ransacking the place, likely looking for me. Hard as it is to move the distillery, already as I woke, I perplexed myself with how to do so. Damned, I say, damned. I began to burn as much as I could, in the neat fireplace, but then I realized: what if the police were not here for me? Strange as it is, there are certainly some other strangers in these apartments. Now I run through the lists, the names, and I seem to grow confident: The downstairs neighbor does invite many guests, and speaks late into the night, just the sort of thing that a traitor to the French state might do! You see, I make sure to apologize to my neighbors when I commit such heinous things, usually with bottles of brandy, or cheaper still, my own gin in suspicious bottles still. But that bastard? He has never apologized, such poor spycraft. A real traitor to the French, that guy!

[Anonymous No.13422014]

ilcliterates are the new cliterates

[Anonymous No.13422018]

>>13421399
The stick is a false memory that covers up the truth. The knife represents the loss of your anal virginity.

[Anonymous No.13422384]

There are four works of fiction/gameplay that I want to discuss with someone who's opinion I care about, anybody who is more than a target specifically sought for sake of discussion of those three works, and the sheer unlikelihood of finding someone like that is shearing the ass hairs off my soul. Two of them are untranslated Japanese and too long and verbose for me to currently hope any of my Japanese-literate acquaintances will read them, the other two are Dark Souls and Starseed Pilgrim, the aspects of which that I want to discuss would require one to spend several dozens of hours on them.
I'd thought that the more things I discover that trigger something special within me the more likely I am to find somebody to talk about ideas and notions with that lie at a deeper level of my self than some random get-along-with persona's opinions and quips, but strangely enough it's starting to feel like it all actually distanced me even further from any such conversation partner.
I'm not sure why I'm so adverse to just seeking out somebody specifically for sake of talking about these; I know it wouldn't be hard to find myself some Dark Souls enthusiast for example. Something about the idea just turns me off, like there'd be no point then.

[Anonymous No.13422482]

>>13422018

[Anonymous No.13422503]

>>13421650
oh I have had a different experience. I am actually doing really well now. I used to force myself to do things so I could become someone I was not and now I feel really good all the time and successful in my endeavors. Maybe this strategy is not for everyone. Try not feeling guilty when doing this and try maintaining awareness of what you are doing at all times and not just doing it braindead and robotically. It will provide you with lots of insights and naturally replace bad habits with good ones. Good luck.

[Anonymous No.13422683]

Swag me out, BIHHHHH!