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/lit/ - Literature

File: 236 KB, 800x1138, smoke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

1337818

Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:16:19 2010 No.1337818 [Reply] [Original]

As the cigarette burns, I can feel the cancer invade my lungs, I suck the smoke deep and it burns my bronchi. As I exhale the smoke lingers in my dank shitty apartment, my yellow fingernails show as i flick the ashes under my dim desk lamp. The nicotine reaches my bloodstream and I now have the courage to tell you why hes hunting me.

In todays World, the average person has been taught that cigarettes are bad for your health, and even moreso , they will eventually kill you.The tobacco speech was drilled and rivoted into your head since you were a child and like a good dog you obey societies every rule. Is this just to be somewhat connected with the world and accepted by this shitty, oppresive society?
I have come to realize that if someones life is in danger or jeopardized, that they will smoke cigarettes to calm and settle their nerves and set aside all of the health risks because the individual is already unsure of their future, and it is this act that saves them. cigarettes and death are closely intertwined. The arsenic and formaldehyde in the smoke was not mans idea, but God's himself. Contrary to popular belief hell does not accept anyone and everyone, but you are chosen by the minions of the black depths

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:17:19 2010 No.1337823

As the cigarette burns, I can feel the cancer invade my lungs, I suck the smoke deep and it burns my broccoli. As I exhale the smoke lingers in my dank shitty apartment, my yellow fingernails show as i flick the ashes under my dim desk lamp. The nicotine reaches my bloodstream and I now have the courage to tell you why hes hunting me.

It's because I have burned the broccoli.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:18:19 2010 No.1337825 File: 24 KB, 311x311, willy wonka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] go on

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:18:19 2010 No.1337826

Even the most faithless atheist will pray to the God that he has always denied when the blackness of death creeps into his residence. The small tubular shaped, white sticks when lit will postpone the process which i call "spiritual osmosis" . The transfer of the Soul into time and space. The arsenic and formaldehyde smoke dance with the Black minions, and it is ths dance that determines the rightful passage of the individuals spirit into the afterlife. Cigarettes are a modern day invention that judges the path of the wicked. History shows that most religions, cults and societies use smoke in the time of death, whether it be incense, oils or the less effective fire, the smoke is there to try and sway Lucifers henchman into a death dance that will save ones soul.

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:21:19 2010 No.1337830

This is what "they" dont want you to know. The Governments, the Churches and every other high horse riding motherfucker that thinks hes in power. Lucifer is real, God is not, anymore. At the beginning of time the two fought a war through time and space where only Lucifer prevailed. if you havent realized that God isnt present, especially here on earth, you should definitely start thinking for yourself. There is a reason why just before the D-Day landings the supply officers handed out cartons of cigarettes to the soldiers, its all a fucking numbers game, and your soul has been given a "Number".It is all about collection and how many of whos souls are allowed to enter the afterlife. Humans cant understand the numbering system because Lucifer created it himself in his mind and the secret to decoding it lies only with him. There is a reason why Hitler was a non smoker, Lucifer had created him out of some of the mud from his dirty feet and sent to earth spreading tyrrany, and harvesting the souls of the damned. He also made him a non smoker so that when Hitler pulled that trigger in his dark, damp bunker in the heart of Berlin, the minions could sweep him away without any hesitation.

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:21:19 2010 No.1337831

Even the most faithless atheist will pray to the God that he has always denied when the blackness of death creeps into his residence. The small tubular shaped, white sticks when lit will postpone the process which i call "spiritual osmosis". It is true, by lighting tampons, one can forestall the inevitable decay of mankind, that constant dimming of the light inside.

This, my friends, is why I always carry at least 800 tampons in my backpack. And that, my friends, is why you should not call my mom for having shoplifted these tubular, white sticks from this very convenience store.

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:23:19 2010 No.1337836

This is what "they" dont want you to know. The Governments, the Churches and every other high horse riding motherfucker that thinks hes in power. Lucifer is real, God is not, anymore. At the beginning of time the two fought a war through time and space where only Lucifer prevailed. if you havent realized that God isnt present, especially here on earth, you should definitely start thinking for yourself. There is a reason why just before the D-Day landings the supply officers handed out cartons of cigarettes to the soldiers. It was because hands were a useful way to transport the cartons of cigarettes. Many a sergeant tried to use a long, prehensile tongue; many a colonel tried to use his shoulders, and many an admiral tried to use the very tip of his penis to fling the cartons at his soldiers.

Scientists tried to invent tentacles, but the octopi had a patent on them. Falconers tried tying the cartons to birds, but the birds soon became asthmatic and flightless as a result.

All alternatives to no avail. Hands. HANDS. Hands were the best way to transport cartons of cigarettes.

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:25:19 2010 No.1337838

Gods only influence on the world are the chemicals in the small, white paper sticks that postpone death, not reroute it. but even he is locked in with all the other sorry souls of time. I have chosen to be the messenger to the people of earth and although my sources for my information are to be kept secret, the one who tells the story of smoke will surely live in eternal agony. As i sit at my desk watching the smoke flutter and vanish into the air of night, i can only hope that the last dance is happening because if it isnt, my soul will forever wander in the ever expanding abyss of darkness and pain. You arent supposed to know this, but i hope you take it to heart because as "Dans ma Rue" plays in the background, i light up my last cigarette and I can here the muddy feet slopping on the cold tile floor behind me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:26:19 2010 No.1337840 Gods only influence on the world are the chemicals in the small, white paper sticks that postpone death, not reroute it, and also in the music of Smashmouth, in particular the smash hit single "All-Star."

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:27:19 2010 No.1337842 >>1337840 holy fuck youre a faggot

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:27:19 2010 No.1337843 As i sit at my desk watching the smoke flutter and vanish into the air of night, i can only hope that the last dance is happening because if it isnt, then the last dance is in danger, and then we will have to have Julia Stiles save the last dance.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:28:19 2010 No.1337844 >>1337842 Your story is garbage. At least "All Star" was featured in the trailer to the smash hit film Mystery Men, starring Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo, now available on DVD and featuring interactive menus and director's commentary.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:30:19 2010 No.1337845 >>1337844 i wrote it while smoking a cigarette, t wasnt supposed to get an award, so fuck off i dont see any creative input from you other than your pole smoking faggotry

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:32:19 2010 No.1337848 File: 28 KB, 500x333, you_still_mad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1337845 u mad bro?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:33:19 2010 No.1337851 mad? i aint mad that youre gay...just a little dissapoint son

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:36:19 2010 No.1337859

>>1337845

Oh, sorry, I didn't realize that you wrote it while smoking a cigarette. This changes everything. Please accept my most humble apologies. I am but a groveling apology-mouse let loose in the granary of your mercy. Please allow me to sup upon even the tiniest grain of your kindness and forgiveness. Is there any possible way I can make this up to you? May I dress like your mother and hug you and tell you that I love you and then lick your cheek so that you can smell my breath and then you can look into my dilated pupils and then you can feel your cock harden as you see my massive rodney on display in your mother's pants? Would it make your day better - would it make your day happier, as opposed to sadder, brighter, as opposed to grayer - if I were to unbutton my shirt, revealing heavy, milk-laden breasts, and then I were to squeal that if I am not milked in the next hour that my chest will be in the most terrible pain?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:37:19 2010 No.1337864 >>1337851 it's times like this that i remember that /lit/ IS on 4chan afterall...

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:39:19 2010 No.1337868

>>1337848

Fuck you, yes I mad, I wrote that story after smoking a cigarette - A CIGARETTE - and now look at the disrespect I'm getting around here.

OP here. Here is a promise. I will take a gun and put it in my mouth and shoot myself in the back of the throat, if I am not shown some proper re-fucking-spect in the next hour or so.

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:42:19 2010 No.1337872

>>1337859

go outside you cave dwelling fuck, and yes i wrote it while smoking a cigarette which took about 5 minutes, quit spamming my shit with your fantasies about your bovine mother, i love how this place bitches about not enough OC and yet when even delivered half assed you still complain. quit sucking on your fathers tiny penis and go take some lead aspirin

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:43:19 2010 No.1337873 >>1337868 .........I liked your story. But then you became a little bitch which killed the story.

>>	DO IT FAGGOT and other readings Mon Dec 6 02:43:19 2010 No.1337874 File: 442 KB, 880x549, 1290411572161.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1337868 Nigga, you thin-skinned. Don't take yourself too seriously.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:44:19 2010 No.1337877 >>1337872 Well, I liked your story. Don't worry about the fags. One question, though. Why did your main character burn the broccoli?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:45:19 2010 No.1337879 >>1337868 not op

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Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:45:19 2010 No.1337881

No one - not a single member - bitches about a lack of OC on this board. The other boards do. We bitch about having to put up with irreverent fuckheads like you who think that, because they wrote something, they deserve any respect at all.

As your /b/rothers would say: An hero. No one likes you.

>>	TheSmokingGuy Mon Dec 6 02:46:19 2010 No.1337882 >>1337879 I'm tired of this fucking trolling. Look, from now on, everything from the OP now has this trip. You dig?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:47:19 2010 No.1337883 actual OP lol'ing at all the fags pretending to be me even moreso at the gullible fucktards who believe them it aint great but i dont give a fuck, dont read it then

>>	TheSmokingGuy Mon Dec 6 02:47:19 2010 No.1337884 >>1337881 Fuck you, you're just jealous of my grasp on what cigarette smoking is all about.

>>	TheSmokingGuy Mon Dec 6 02:48:19 2010 No.1337886 >>1337883 Fag. There's a reason your father hates you.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:48:19 2010 No.1337888 >>1337883 You obviously did give a fuck, since you replied.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:49:19 2010 No.1337889 >>1337886 my fathers dead, he doesnt think shit

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:53:19 2010 No.1337898 >>1337888 nice triples

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:54:19 2010 No.1337900 >>1337889 why did you play Smashmouth's "All Star" at your father's funeral? that was not appropriate

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 02:57:19 2010 No.1337908 >>1337900 i didnt go to that fuckers funeral, im starting to think youre the agent for smashmouth trying to promote the shittyness that is your creation

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 03:00:19 2010 No.1337914 >>1337908 Son, if you think that, then you're a real Daydream Believer, as covered by Smash Mouth in the hit film Shrek, starring Mike Meyers and Eddie Murphy!

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 6 03:05:19 2010 No.1337923 File: 43 KB, 512x359, 1228980370809.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>1337859 Oh god this is hilarious!