/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.13234579]

has literature ever filled you with false expectations, /lit/?

>be me, a virgin passing into the end of his early 20s
>read many, many books that involve explicit sex, elaborate depictions of it down to the most minute details
>authors constantly talking about the rank, ripe odor that emanates from the petal'd sex betwixt women's and (even young girls') legs
>immediately become obsessed with the idea
>imagine the profane perfume constantly, porn does little to relieve me since it is devoid of scents
>finally am allowed by chances supreme to do the sex with a particular girl who aroused more than just my penis
>eagerly pull her pants off, my face close to the heated seat of glory, awaiting to inhale the divine reek that has possessed me to the point of neurosis for the whole of my tortured and chaste years of adolescence
>there's nothing
>no smell at all
>I shove my face deeply into the curly-hair crowned lips and receive only a placid absence of smell
>she gets a bit unnerved as I sit back and puzzle. she queries: "I-is everything all right?.."
>I blurt "Oh yes I guess" but must have been inadvertently frowning since she still did not seem convinced
>I try to explain to her what I had expected
>she doesn't understand
>can feel the whole mood dissipating
>at this point I am becoming irate
>with a sweeping gesture I draw her attention to the copious amount of books stacked in towers upon the floor as well as those that are shelved, spanning the entire length of my bedroom's wall
>I grab books pell-mell, showing her the portions that for years I had judiciously studied and satiated my sexual fantasies upon
>I show her heavily marked page after heavily highlighted page of erotic prose and poetry describing this very moment of coitus that is supposed to be scented with rankly succulent feminine smells and I asked her why she doesn't have any
>the dumb doughy little cunt (a bit sausagified but I was willing to forgive this since I assumed it would only lend poignancy to her ladified part, tho at this point such plumpness appeared only repugnant to me) just stares at me with an idiot's incomprehension paining her pastry swindled eyes
>she leaves, in tears, and blocks me on all social medias
>she starts blabbing around campus that I am some sort of sexual delinquent and a grade A pervert
>tfw on the no-fuck list of every female in all of my classes
>tfw still haven't experience the rancidity of pussy firsthand
>tfw still technically a virgin too I guess

[Anonymous No.13234636]

Nigga wants that stank coochie

[Anonymous No.13235499]

>>13234579
7/10
You are either not trolling or you have had experience with young women.

A young woman with little or not hair is bound to smell less, especially when she washed herself for you and she is still not completely turned on.

[Anonymous No.13235505]

Also your sense of smell could be weak, especially if you do not eat much and you are thin and you never had sex or did sport.
It can be trained.

[Anonymous No.13236649]

>>13234579
vag odor varies from a person to person

[Anonymous No.13236677]

It seems that /lit/ has completely forgotten…

But the artist sat the nude model on the table and moved her legs apart. The girl hardly resisted and merely covered her face with her hands.
Amonova and Strakhova said that first the girl should have been taken off to the bathroom and washed between her legs, as any whiff of such an aroma was simply repulsive. The girl wanted to jump up but the artist held her back and asked her to take no notice and sit there, just as he had placed her. The girl, not knowing what she was supposed to do, sat back down again. The artist and his female colleagues took their respective seats and began sketching the nude model. Petrova said that the nude model was a very seductive woman, but Strakhova and Amonova said that she was rather plump and indecent. Zolotogromov said that this was what made her seductive, but Strakhova said that this was simply repulsive, and not at all seductive.
— Look — said Strakhova — ugh! It's pouring out of her on to the table cloth. What is there seductive about that, when I can sniff the smell off her from here.
Petrova said that this only showed her feminine strength. Abel'far blushed and agreed. Amonova said she had seen nothing like it, that you get to the highest point of arousal and it still wouldn't secrete like this girl did. Petrova said that, faced with that, one could get aroused oneself and that Zolotogromov must already be aroused.
Zolotogromov agreed that the girl was having quite an effect on him. Abel'far sat there red in the face and she was breathing heavily.
— However, the air in this room is becoming unbearable — said Strakhova. Abel'far fidgeted on her chair and then leapt up and went out of the room.
— There — said Petrova — you see the result of female seductiveness. It even acts on the ladies. Abel'far has gone off to put herself to rights. I can feel that I will soon have to do the same thing.
— That — said Amonova — only shows the advantage we thin women possess. Everything with us is always as it should be. But both you and Abel'far are splendiferous ladies and you have to keep yourselves very much in check.
— Yet — said Zolotogromov — splendiferousness and a certain lack of bodily hygiene are what is to be particularly valued in a woman.

[Anonymous No.13236722]

>>13234579
I really hope youre trolling cause this is to fucking funny to be true

[Anonymous No.13237362]

>>13236677
Come on, you newfags! It's Kharms!

The Lecture

Pushkov said:
— Woman is the workbench of love.
And he immediately received a clout across the gob.
— What's that for? — asked Pushkov.
But, not getting any answer to his question, he continued:
— This is what I think: a woman should be tackled from below. Women really like this and only pretend that they don't like it.
At this point Pushkov was again struck across the gob.
— But what on earth is this, comrades! If that's the way it is, I won't carry on speaking — said Pushkov.
But, after waiting about a quarter of a minute, he continued:
— A woman is so built that she is all soft and damp.
At this point Pushkov was again struck across the gob. Pushkov tried to pretend that he hadn't noticed this and went on:
— If you just sniff a woman...
But at this point Pushkov was so slammed across the gob that he caught hold of his cheek and said:
— Comrades, under these conditions it is absolutely impossible to deliver a lecture. If this happens again, I shall discontinue.
Pushkov waited for a quarter of a minute and then continued:
— Now, where were we? Ah, yes. That was it. A woman loves to look at herself. She sits down in front of the mirror completely naked...
At this word, Pushkov again received a clout across the gob.
— Naked — repeated Pushkov.
Smack! — he was weighed into right across the gob.
— Naked! — yelled Pushkov.
Smack! — he received a clout across the gob.
— Naked! A naked woman! A nude tart! — Pushkov kept yelling. Smack! Smack! Smack! — Pushkov took it across the gob.
— A nude tart with a ladle in her hands! — yelled Pushkov.
Smack! Smack! — the blows rained down on Pushkov.
— A tart's bum-hole! — yelled Pushkov, dodging the blows. — A nude nun!
But at this point Pushkov was struck with such force that he lost consciousness and crumpled to the floor as though pole-axed.

[Anonymous No.13237806]