/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1313347]

>playing internet chess in cafe
>cute girl sits down at table next to mind
>she's reading a thick book
>pants get tight
>time goes by, I start packing up my stuff
>she walks over and hand me my laptop cord
>"Don't forget this"
>Open my mouth about to say something to her when i see title of book
>"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"
>leave without saying anything

[Anonymous No.1313350]

>pants get tight
wtf

[Anonymous No.1313351]

Forever alone.

[Anonymous No.1313353]

>beta as fuck

[Anonymous No.1313355]

>>1313347
>pants get tight
What?

[Anonymous No.1313358]

you forgot the part where
>she wants to fuck

[Anonymous No.1313361]

>>1313350
>>1313355

he got a boner you maroons

[Anonymous No.1313364]

>>1313361
He gets a boner from seeing a chick in a cafe with a book? You don't think there's anything wrong with this?

[Virginia W00F !!GThm5VqxqDi No.1313366]

eh, I'd fuck a girl who was reading HP. Better than fucking a girl who's reading The Life and Times of Holden Bawwfield.

[Anonymous No.1313367]

OP has a picture named "sad-snape[1].jpg" on his computer and he doesen't want to fuck hot Harry Potter fan.

[Anonymous No.1313370]

>>1313367
first page on google images

[Anonymous No.1313375]

> Implying you wouldn't have been intimidated if it were a challenging book
> Implying this wasn't the best possible outcome and you didn't fuck it all up

[Anonymous No.1313380]

>>1313347
Dont worry, the very next second she saw you being nerd by playing chess you lost any possible chances.

[None !!5sHdX2+K82M No.1313412]

>>1313375
>>Implying HP is even close to challenging

[onionring !Rrxa7zePwI No.1313417]

you suck. boo

[Anonymous No.1313421]

>playing WIZARD'S CHESS in Hogwarts
>cute girl sits down on piece next to mine
>she's riding the knight
>pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1313427]

>>1313347

>Be homosexual
>do hipster shit in cafe
>still look down on girl for reading a mediocre series

Foreveralonehipterteenageriamafaggot

[Anonymous No.1313428]

>>1313421
>it's alright

[Anonymous No.1313431]

>playing Internet Cafe
>see a thick book
>pants get tight
>cute girl takes thick book
>"Don't forget this!"
>see title of book is
>ascend to the highest planes of Valhalla
>because
>my pants are now tight enough to kill me
>it is a technicality, dying by constricting your own blood with your penis
>very specific rule added in 200 CE
>I am now dead
>Laptop gets the girl
>book stays where it was
>Laptop goes on to complete Internet Cafe

[Anonymous No.1313437]

>at family's for Thanksgiving
>little cousin bounces on my knee
>pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1313441]

>browse /lit/
>pants get tight
>fap
>go back to browsing /lit/
>pants get tight
>repeat

[Anonymous No.1313448]

>my pants get tight
Real book make me sick, where all the 2D books at?

[Anonymous No.1313451]

>next to mind

[Anonymous No.1313459]

>eat too much food
>pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1313463]

>>1313364
Never gotten an uncontrolable boner?

[Anonymous No.1313465]

>Wearing new wool pants
>Walking to restaurant for my date
>It rains and I get drenched
>Dry pants under hand dryer
>Pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1313472]

>>1313463
I don't have a penis. OP referred to it like it was something that typically happens when you see a cute chick with a book.

[Anonymous No.1313482]

I feel sorry for people like you. My favorite authors are Dostojewski and Hemingway but I can still appreciate Harry Potter series.

[Anonymous No.1313481]

>>1313472
Also, specifically a thick, non Harry Potter book.

[Anonymous No.1313484]

>>1313472
Oh you're a woman, that explains. It isn't something that "typically happens" but it sure does happen once in a while.

[Anonymous No.1313486]

>>1313482
I can appreciate how shit they are.

[Anonymous No.1313489]

That girl was waaaaaay too mainstream for you, OP. She probably also liked watching movies and fun. Keep looking, the female who shares 100% of your interests is still out there!

[Anonymous No.1313490]

>>1313484
>>1313481
Strange news.

>>1313482
This. Also since the new movie is out she was probably just rereading the books or reading them for the first time to see the movies. It doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't have a good taste in literature. You still fucked up your chance with a cute chick that reads, OP. Way to go.

[Anonymous No.1313503]

>>1313490
>You still fucked up your chance with a cute chick that reads
Shit, this is true OP. Cute AND can read. You let her get away...

[Anonymous No.1313536]

nbd bro, its not like you had evidence she liked good movies

[Anonymous No.1313552]

>>1313503
>hurr hurr

How many cute chicks approach you every day?

[Anonymous No.1313663]

>>1313552
I don't count.

[engines vrôp vrôp No.1313672]

this thread is amusing

[None !WvWWh.l.CE No.1313677]

>reading kafka on train
>girle with QT stockings sits directly opposite me, feet almost touching
>i leave at stop because i need to chain trains to get home
>on next train senior private school girl sits next to me & puts her arm on the armrest even though mine is already there
>i continue to read but acknowledge that it feels nice
>she gets off 2 stops before mine
there was also a kinda chubby girl with dyed dark-red hair & maybe glasses but I dont want to remember her since she trys to fit in with a stupid stereotype (h8 u twilight girls, <3 u hipster girls), i also finished twilight tonight so i think the book is bafflingly unbelievable as a fantasy escape world.

[Anonymous No.1313693]

>I have sex often
>occasionally read for fun, but it's not my entire life
>none of you will see the correlation
>but you will point out my shitty grammar
>you are all forever alone and with good reason

[Anonymous No.1313694]

>>1313677
>train pervert detected

[Anonymous No.1313699]

>>1313693
>what correlation?
>often is a relative term

[None !WvWWh.l.CE No.1313706]

i've also decided against starting a twilight thread since i doubt all you haters have read it.

like before reading i don't feel hate, just even more confused at why its so popular. there's too many plot elements that whats left is but a hint of believability. i cant see how this is enough for the average bookish female teen but maybe im asking/thinking too much of them.

>>1313694
I don't see what was so bad of me apart from acknowledging them.

[Anonymous No.1313713]

>forgetting title of book in cafe
>cute girl opens my mouth
>she's handing me my stuff
>time goes by, I start reading a thick book
>she walks over and forgets this.
>"Don't play internet chess"
>Pack up my laptop cord, I see table next to mind
>"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"
>leave without pants getting tight.

[Ralph Wiggum !!RbKRCS+NEzU No.1313723]

You REEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY blew it, OP.

[None !WvWWh.l.CE No.1313756]

Also,
>go to town
>have 30/20 mins to kill before meeting to discuss my future at university
>decide to sit-in coffee shop to relax
>go to counter, girl taking orders
>ask for choice
>she asks whether im sitting-in or taking-out (which is cheaper
>i say sitting in
>she asks for the price of taking-out
>i hand over over money but realize she must have mis-heard since i guess i mumble or something
>leave
>still hate myself
;_;

[Deep&Edgy !pSkjEcB9sQ No.1313774]

>reading book in dorm room
>go out to the kitchen to get some coffee
>girls I am staying with ask me if I want to go out
>agree to, spend the next 3 hours sitting around
>drink vodka, play the ps2 shittily because the controller is fucked
>finally go out with the girls, I am quite merry now
>we go to some singer-songwriter gig
>have a few pints, find singer-songwriters despicable but pretend to be so, like, totally entranced
>girl asks me what music I like, any other time I would say Cinematic Orchestra but I go with Deftones because she seems a bit of a half-wit
>what a coincidence she likes System of a Down (shit) too
>shake hands with a bunch of people I will never see again who mispronounce my name
>leave, one of the girls drunkenly addresses a police officer b ut they continue on
>the street is full of drunk people, it is like I have entered some sort of bacchanalian hell-hole
>we go to a pub, it is packed
>some girl asks me if I'm from Kilkenny, I lol and say no. I never speak to her again.
>I stand around drinking. People are dancing. Some people are making out. One guy is dancing so hard he looks like he is having an eplileptic fit. Another person is in a wheel-chair, it makes me feel sad.
>one of the girls I am with says she would ride me
>she is ugly, I am looking around hoping people do not think she is my girlfriend or anything
>have a few more shots, headbang to rage against the machine
>we are back on the street now, I am carrying the girl who would like to ride me back to the apartment
>we climb the hill, both of us are laughing at the top of our voices.
>we are home, she goes to her room
>I sit on the couch with another girl
>we talk for a while, she kisses me and tells me I am drunk and I had better go to bed
>glug several glasses of water, stagger towards dorm room
>open the door
>get on the floor
>nothing can fill the void in me, I am dying hideously one night at a time

[None !WvWWh.l.CE No.1313783]

>>1313774
>girl asks me what music I like, any other time I would say Cinematic Orchestra but I go with Deftones because she seems a bit of a half-wit
>what a coincidence she likes System of a Down (shit) too
I lol'd from this point onwards (but SOAD have a god-tier singer moran) but then I felt depressed....

glad i dont stay on-campus. we all feel for you here though, bro.

what r u looking for?

[Anonymous No.1313953]

As bad as internet morons generally are about writing people off as worthless and intellectually vapid the second they turn out to have one interest the moron in question doesn't approve of, I don't think OP is all that far gone. It's not like he actually knew and liked the girl and Harry Potter was a boner deflater; he had a sad Smiths-fan instant crush on a stranger that pivoted on a false premise. I fall in love all the time with cute boys reading yellowed paperbacks on the train and usually end up having to cut the pathetic one-sided Craigslist missed connections love affairs short when I realize they're just used copies of Freakonomics

[Anonymous No.1313986]

>playing internet chess in cafe because no friends.
>girl sits next to me.
>she is reading a large book.
>she talks to me.
>see title of book.
>judge her for her tastes and ignore possible romance.

FOREVERALONE.JPG

[Anonymous No.1314094]

>>1313953
OP here. mfw i <3 you.

[Anonymous No.1314116]

>up north with bud and 2 girls i don't know
>buddy is mackin' away
>girl im talking with has boyfreind
>bawwwwwing over how she cheated on him once
>mfw she was reading The Stranger earlier that day

[Anonymous No.1314121]

>>1313713

[Anonymous No.1314133]

the last several posts have a glaring lack of pants getting tight

[Anonymous No.1314136]

>>Thanksgiving dinner
>>pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1314143]

>see cute girl
>she's reading
>I like reading
>she's reading Harry Potter
>i don't like Harry Potter
>elitist hipster faggotism steps in
>foreveralone

[Anonymous No.1314148]

>Talking to pretty girl since the beginning of the year.
>Comes to my room all the time.
>Get really close.
>Go to her dorm room one day because she "left [her] notes for [her] lecture in 2 hours time."
>Step inside.
>Weeaboo heaven, bookshelf full of anime, Advent Children poster, Final Fantasy figurines.
>Tell her I have to go, having troubles with an ex and I'm feeling upset.
>Expect her to have the common decency not to ask.
>Every time she sees me she asks about it and I have to lie to her.
>Realise that I turned down hot dickings and she thinks I'm still in love with an imaginary ex.
>mon visage.

[Anonymous No.1314150]

>Move to Brooklyn
>listen to indie
>pants get tight
>I am a hipster

[Anonymous No.1314152]

>at the market getting eggs for omlete tommorow morning
>cute girl bagging groceries
>pants get tight
>she looks right asks me
>"Paper or plastic?"
>I open my mouth to respond when I notice what magazine is hanging out of her back pocket
>"Reader's Digest"
>leave without groceries

[Anonymous No.1314155]

>leave a good party
>to come onto 4chan
>see posts about pants getting tight
>pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1314158]

>Go to Macy's for black friday sale
>try on whole new outfit
>see cute girl reading winter catalog
>pants get tight
>figure i should look for bigger pants

[Anonymous No.1314159]

>>1314143
>criticize adults who read crappy childrens' books
>everyone on /lit/ throws a hissy fit like an immature shit

[Anonymous No.1314162]

>>1314159
>implying OP doesn't creep on highschool girls

[Anonymous No.1314171]

>pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1314172]

>>1314159
>>1314162

>insist on retarded argument in pants get tight thread
>pants get loose

[Anonymous No.1314181]

>have dream about girl that likes Murakami
>wake up
>pants are tight

[Anonymous No.1314191]

>give up on romantic relationships
>watch internet porn
>pants get tight

[Ralph Wiggum !!RbKRCS+NEzU No.1314192]

>>1313774
You cunt, I nearly choked on my biscuit at the last bit.

[Anonymous No.1314229]

> Pants get tight
> Realize I am girl, therefore I have no penis
> Pants are still tight
> Fatass
> D:

[Anonymous No.1314237]

>>1313774
You have read Steppenwolf one too many times, my friend.
Alternatively, if you haven't read Steppenwolf, you need to.

[Anonymous No.1314247]

>pants get tight
>read 10 posts before i figure out what the fuck they are talking about
>am i getting old or what the fuck fucking dick jokes

[fyogore !!2NEMah8seNC No.1314249]

>enjoys thread
>lol so hard I wake my room mate
>pants get tight

[fyogore !!2NEMah8seNC No.1314253]

>>1314229
Also, you sound cute.

[Anonymous No.1314259]

>stop everything while I read Proust's In Search of Lost Time
>hot girl approaches while I'm reading volume seven on the train
>"Your ass crack is showing"
>shouldn't have stopped exercising
> pants too tight

[Anonymous No.1314270]

>At a coffeeshop playing internet chess.
>Girl at the next table reading a thick book.
>My pants when.
>My pants when I have no pants.

[Anonymous No.1314272]

>walking around town
>see girl with che guevara on her shirt
>ask her who it is
>she doesnt know
>pants get tight when i rape her

[Anonymous No.1314282]

>awake from unsettling dreams one morning
>find myself transformed into a monstrous vermin
>pants get tight

[Anonymous No.1314286]

>excited to go to party
>go with girl im friends with
>smoke a bowl before
>get in
>hipsters
>panic
>find friend
>settle down
>drink beer
>he leaves
>everyone is grouped off
>fuck
>smoke more weed with host of party
>nothing's changed
>leave
>wasted evening
>could've been reading
>hipsters gon hip

[Anonymous No.1314288]

>>1314286
This pretty much every time I've ever gone to a party, except instead of hipsters it's your generic frat-type douch and douchettes who probably have never picked up a book in their life (who knows how they got into college). I think I'd rather have the hipsters.

[Anonymous No.1314797]

>>1314288
hipsters can be just as bad. elitist rich-kid attention whores. They're really the same thing, just different clothes.

[Deep&Edgy !pSkjEcB9sQ No.1314824]

>>1314237

Yeah bro, I think all that is missing from my life is a female version of myself to pop around and wipe my arse for me, set me up with a prostitute and a drug dealer, that sort of thing.

[Anonymous No.1314833]

>Sit in cafe
>Start reading 'Venus in Furs'
>Pants get tight
>3/4 through, set book down to roll a cigarette
>Recognize parallels between book and last relationship
>Pants get tight
>Realize biggest parallel is utter inability to have healthy, functional relationship
>Pants no longer tight
>Not sure if want to finish.

[Anonymous No.1314861]

> enter cafe with a headache from hell at 2pm
> have trouble to maintain steady posture because still drunk
> order largest cup of coffee and sit down at some laughably large table
> get newspaper thats lying around to cover head
> feel comforted by the stupid, mellow elevator-music that is being played and fall almost asleep
> suddenly group of girls with large shopping bags sits down at the table
> they start talking about Haruki Murakami
> slowly remove newspaper from face to get a glimpse at them
> they look kind of cute
> sit up straight, clear throat, take a long sip from the paper cup
> realize sudden, awkward silence
> get up whilst doing exuberant bow
> exclaim "Murakami sucks, anyway"
> realize everybody is staring at you
> leave cafe

[Anonymous No.1314865]

>>1314861
i would probably hate you, but i like your story

[Anonymous No.1314873]

>>1314861
> be fucked up alcoholic
> be smug about it

how's that working out for ya?

[Anonymous No.1315575]

>>1314861
classic

[Anonymous No.1315584]

>>1314861
everybody always stares when confronted with the TRUTH.

[Anonymous No.1315595]

>>1314861
bravo, friend. you're the type of person who is great to hang out with till your mid 30s, till your life is an absolute unsalvageable wreck

[Anonymous No.1315613]

>>1314861
You and I will float through life with complete unnecessary unfounded hatred for the world, and its fucking awesome. carry on bro.

[Anonymous No.1315876]

>return cafe
>wierd middle aged man is hitting on girl sitting by me
>think he might be on drugs
>turn up music and ignore him
>pants are still tight from yesterday

[Anonymous No.1315889]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwZQqN3HNpI&feature=related

wwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhats goin on in this thread?

[Anonymous No.1315902]

I wrote
>>1314861

I just came back and am amazed at the praise.
Didn't feel so great, though.
I would have prefered chatting at least one of these bitches up (I couldnt care less if they like Murakami or not, at least they read at all).

[Anonymous No.1315911]

>>1315889
>random asian chicks
wat

[Anonymous No.1315965]

> sitting on park bench, enjoying a smoke
> highly attractive woman in designer dress sits down on next bench
> she gets an pelegrino bottle and a book from her purse
> cant make out the cover at first, but its bound in red silk, apparently some special edition
> try to change position in order to get a glimpse at title
> get caught up in staring at her long, sexy legs
> shift position again
> now wondering about if those amazing boobs are fake or not
> cigarette has burned down, hurt finger
> lighting a new one, remembering the book
> she put the book in her lap, cover not visible at all
> ...
> she gets out her cellphone and stands up, taking the bootle and the book under her arm
> hear her talking on the phone "yeah, some perv is checking me out at the park..."
> title of the book now visible
> LA PHILOSOPHIE DANS LE BOUDOIR by De Sade

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Anonymous No.1315991]

>>1315965
I'm afraid I don't know that title.

Did you rage because of the book or because you were so naive as to think asking what book she was reading would be intrusive?

[Anonymous No.1315999]

>>1315991
you seriously don't know who sade is?

do your homework kid and get off 4chan

[Anonymous No.1316008]

>>1315991
its the philosophy in the boudoir, a de sade fuckfantasy covered up in the form of a philosophical dialogue.
It contains the whole catalogue of BDSM activities and a little more.

Approaching her would have let to nothing, she was way older than me.
She wore clothing worth triple my annual income and she is probably banging some dumb investment banker or corporate lawyer who wouldnt even know what a boudoir is.
And hell, she was so frickin hot, she in conjecture with that book and the knowledge I will never get my hands on her fine ass made me rage.

also, i realized that I am hormone driven like a monkey (not exactly a revelation, though).