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/lit/ - Literature

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13129434 No.13129434 [Reply] [Original]

If you had a chance to beat up any philosopher in history, who would it be and why?

>> No.13129511

>>13129434
Diogenes for being a redditor smartass who thinks he is intelligent but is really the biggest pseud ever to exist.

>> No.13129518

>>13129434
Do Marx and Freud count as philosphers?

I'd pummel them.

>> No.13129552

>>13129518
This. Followed by The Rope.

>> No.13129558

>>13129518
I'll hold down Marx for you. I don't care as much about Freud

>> No.13129572 [DELETED] 
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13129572

id beat the fucken SHIT out of witty
tractatus my ass you pear shaped cuck

>> No.13129586

>>13129511
diogenes used to be "our guy"

>> No.13129596

>>13129434
I wanna smack bataille until his face is bleeding raw but he'd probably enjoy it

>> No.13129604

>>13129586
A psy-op conducted by redditors on this board

>> No.13129608

>>13129604
Challenging dogma is the opposite of reddit my man

>> No.13129621

Rousseau

>> No.13129668

I want to see if I could beat Socrates in a fight

>> No.13129673

Nietzsche, without mercy, until he breaks down in tears

>> No.13129707 [DELETED] 

>>13129518
>>13129558
Based
>>13129673
Stfu oven-dodger

>> No.13129713

>>13129668
>thinks he can beat up an ancient greek war vet
You're in over your head, kid

>> No.13129715 [DELETED] 

i would obliterate (((voltaire))), if you could even call him a philosopher and not the brainlet charlatan libtard cuck degenerate he truly was

>> No.13129725

>>13129715
I think he count like a sophist. It will be not really that hard to beat Voltaire, the man who spit christianity but eventually converted (not a bad thing).

>> No.13129731

>>13129668
Our perception of a scholar, philosopher, teacher, etc etc is a weak old man who can’t stand on his own 2 legs, but back then they were all chads, Plato and Socrates were both veterans

>> No.13129744

>>13129707
>he thinks I'm a kike
i wish you were a philosopher so i could beat your ass

>> No.13129747
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13129747

Is THIS in your mind, Berkeley?

>> No.13129749

jordan peterson hehe...

>> No.13129750

>>13129744
You’re probably (((white))), aren’t you Ben Bernstein?

>> No.13129760

Rousseau because he was a fucking retard
I want to beat him until he realizes the error in his ways

>> No.13129766

>>13129747
>tfw a light in, around, or near someone's eye causes you to think of a "charging up" noise
really watched too much dragonball as a kid

>> No.13129770
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13129770

>>13129750
i sure am. and let's not forget, fellow white person, that the two of us are extremely privileged and should feel ashamed

brb, gonna go wash this pyramid brick dust off my fingers

>> No.13130461

>>13129713
seriously, I want to know just how strong he was. I honestly think of him as some kind of gorilla

>> No.13130504
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13130504

>>13129434
It would be John-Paul Sartre for giving up on Existentialism and becoming a Marxist. I'm not saying Existentialism is master race but I wanted to see where he could have taken it.

>> No.13130510
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13130510

>>13130461
It would depend when you fought him. If it was during his twilight years, then I could see it happening. Young Socrates would beat the fuck outta you otherwise.

>> No.13130514

>>13129707
nietzsche wished to shoot all anti-semites!

>> No.13130518

>>13129434
Hegel made me feel stupid while reading his Phenomenology so I wouldn't mind kicking his kraut ass.

>> No.13130520

Bachelard, for being the biggest dork in existence like holy fuck

>> No.13130588

>>13130520
you'll have to get through me first

>> No.13130591

>>13130504
>implying marxism and existentialism are mutually exclusive
>implying marxism isn't the logical next step for existentialism

>> No.13131611

>>13129434
Foucault. He is a coward and a liar.

>> No.13131621

>>13131611
Quite literally putting your ass on the line

>> No.13131629

>>13129434
It's been said, but Rousseau for being a fucking faggot

>> No.13131646

>>13129434
probably plato for having such a bad influence on philosophy for millenia to this day. or kant, just cause i also dislike his philosophy and is probably easier to break.

>> No.13131712

Spinoza.
I want to beat the shit out of his faggy face

>> No.13131794

>>13131646
>doesn't like Plato or the pedantic goblin
I don't want to know who your patron philosopher is

>> No.13131846

>>13129434
prob neitzsche do he can cope more

>> No.13131849

>>13131846
stfu oven-dodger

>> No.13131888

>>13129511
lmao nice opinion you fucking faggot, the guy is literally anti-pseud incarnate and in fact would spend most of his free time BTFOing said pseuds

>> No.13132104

>>13130591
>implying marxism is anything but a regression

>> No.13132381

>>13129434
Zizek.
>>13131646
>plato
He'd probably kick your head in.

>> No.13133464

>>13129673
Ok Steven Pinker

>> No.13133468

>>13131611
Foucault would destroy you and then shit his pants from laughing too much

>> No.13133637

>>13129434
Jean-Francois Lyotard, then I'll tell him it was Jouissance and he secretly enjoyed it.
>>13129518
No, they're an economist and a psychologist respectively.

>> No.13133657

>>13129725
>Voltaire converted to Christianity
Who told you that? He was denied a Christian burial.

>> No.13133703

>>13129434
Does Camus count as a philosopher?
I want to mess his pretty boi face and see if he'll take his "dude, just be urself" philosophy seriously once he's too ugly to get laid

>> No.13133812

>>13133703
have sex

>> No.13133841

>>13133812
Fuck off Albert

>> No.13133994

>>13131611
>philosopher
>Foucault
Pick one.
>>13133468
>believing a HIV positive, book worm retard has even the slightest ability in a fight

>> No.13134035

>>13129434
Myself
You are what you eat

>> No.13134049

>>13133994
You know Greco-Roman?

>> No.13135814

>>13129434
Russell for sure.

>> No.13135848

>>13131646
>literally everyone must respond to plato
>kant is one of the best modern philosophers
>you want to beat kant up because you can’t understand him
fucking brainlets, i tell you

>> No.13135874

>>13129749
OP said philosopher, not retarded faggot shill.

>> No.13135881

>>13131611
Foucault would let you beat him and cumb while you did it.

>> No.13137032

Martin Luther.

>> No.13137056

I'd beat Aquinas's fatfuck ass beyond natural reason. "The saints are loving watching me kick the fuckin' sin out of you, pork roll."

>> No.13137061

>>13129608
Super based post.

>> No.13137343

Kant. He's an unpleasant little incel gremlin with unearned smugness and a hoighty-toighty attitude. I want to box that midget around the room and turn him black and purple.

>> No.13137408

>>13129518
Imagine freud ever practiced something as brainlet and dumpster fire tier as "philosophy"

>> No.13137444

>>13137032
this, absolutely fucking this

>> No.13137477

>>13130504
Jean-Paul Sartre but just because he was the embodiment of a little bitch both IRL and in his work

>> No.13137670

Plato just for the fact he acted like hot shit, but later on i would buy him a couple of beers and talk about life and his philosophical insights, a debate if you will

>> No.13137731

Locke, I would give him a most unreasonable beating.

>> No.13137781

Stirner. I agree with his philosophy but i still wanna beat the shit out of him. So i will. Because i want to.

>> No.13137813
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13137813

>>13133637
>economist
>not a single SARIMA model in the Capital