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/lit/ - Literature

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[SPOILER] No.1310808[SPOILER]  [Reply] [Original]

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her I'm reading
>she says she doesn't care I need to do my chores
>my mom does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1310813

howdy, old timer

>> No.1310812

what a bitch

>> No.1310814

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>girlfriend barges in and orders fellatio
>I tell her I'm reading
>She says she doesn't care and wants the bjs
>my girlfriend does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1310822

>see a cute girl at uni
>wave to her
>ask for her number
>she reaches into her bag for a pen
>ATLAS SHRUGGED
>abort abort

>> No.1310825

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>dad barges in and orders me to order me
>I tell him I'm reading
>he shits on my pillow

>> No.1310828

> I am OP
> I am therefore a faggot

>> No.1310830

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>wife barges in and orders me to change the babies diaper
>I tell her I'm reading
>she says she doesn't care and that I need to change the diaper
>my wife does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1310833
File: 34 KB, 373x486, Lahiri, Jhumpa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1310833

>sitting on the train
>train wrecks
>use my book, the short stories of Nikolai Gogol (my favorite author), to flag down a rescue squad
>to commemorate this I name my firstborn son Gogol
>my son hates his name, and gets it changed
>my son does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1310839

>>1310825

>reading /lit/
>see a marginally funny thread
>notice the guy that can never greentext
>think wtf is up with that?

>> No.1310840

>>1310833
totally got the reference.

>Reading Dan Brown novels
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her I'm reading
>she says she doesn't care and Dan Brown is terrible
>I do not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1310843
File: 53 KB, 922x606, 1268508959542.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1310843

>work at borders
>3 cute girls walk in
>they ask me where the Ayn Rand books are
>I ask why they want 'em
>blond says her bf loves Bioshock, so she wants to get him the book it's based on
>mfw

>> No.1310844

>reading atlas shrugged
>my great uncle barges in on a Remedios the Beauty bathing
>great uncle trips and cuts his own throat on a straight razor
>my great uncle is fine literature

>> No.1310847

>>1310844
best one in here so far

>> No.1310853

>>1310847
>mine is the best one in here so far.

>> No.1310875

>>1310853
>implying i care enough about this thread to samefag
>implying you're not jelly
>implying marquez isn't >>>>>>>>> rand

>> No.1310881

>English Literature Class
>Largely devoted to the analysis of poems, but occasional the general analysis of literature.
>The subject is “War”.
>I bring in “The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman”.
>Complete my lecture emphasising the aspects of “future shock” that would naturally follow attaching ones-self to a separate lifestyle and of-course the mentality of a soldier who renders the instinctive order of obedience greater than his own desire to free-will.
>The teacher gives me a Grade: F, claiming that the novel was “… Not about War…” and that “… It’s no mature enough for the debate, it’s aimed at children…”
>Another student talks about “Rambo”, the movie. Stating, basically, that war is a lone struggle to survive and often soldiers are forced to eliminate factions by themselves.
>Said student gets a grade: B.
>My tutor does not appreciate fine literature.

>> No.1311587

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her I'm reading
>she says she doesn't care I need to do my chores
>my mom does not appreciate fine literature


Haven't heard that meme in ages

>> No.1311644

bumping just to read more of these...o yeah, btw.
reading burroughs
mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
i tell her i'm reading
she says she doesnt care and that im a faggot
my mom doesnt appreciate homoeroticism where the chapters can be read interchangably

>> No.1311694
File: 540 KB, 1920x1200, 1289433893950.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1311694

>reading Moby Dick while high
>giant white whale out of fucking nowhere
>Ahab appears also
>I am in great literature.

>> No.1311697

>>1311694
fantastic picture.

>> No.1311701

>>1311694

.>reading Moby Dick while high

How did you make it through the clam chowder descriptions without getting massively hungry?

>> No.1311704

>>1311701

I didn't.

>> No.1311719

>>reading Atlas Shrugged
>>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>>I launch into lengthy speech enlightening her that by ordering me, she is removing my mind from the decision to clean
>>I do not appreciate her being anti-life

>> No.1311720
File: 58 KB, 305x312, 1284415366559.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1311720

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her I'm reading
>she says she doesn't care I need to do my chores
>my mom does not appreciate fine literature

>mfw when I don't live with my mother

>> No.1311732

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>Ayn Rand barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her I'm reading
>she says she doesn't care I need to do my chores
>Ayn Rand does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1311736

>rename my penis Fine Literature
>my sister comes in my room looking hot in skimpy pajamas
>take out fine literature
>she runs away screaming to our parents
>my sister does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1311737

>>1310825
>Failing greentext
THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENING LATELY

>Talking with friends on the way to a Metallica show
>Awkward friend who is always a bit desperate for attention starts namedropping like crazy
>There isn't really a punchline here, he's just an annoying fuckwit

>> No.1311741

>>Reading Atlas Shrugged
>>Ayn Rand bursts into the room
>>She tells me to do my chores
>>I tell her I don't want to do any chores, I'm reading
>>Ayn Rand tells me I'm being selfish

>> No.1311744
File: 36 KB, 500x447, 1264813748427.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1311744

>>1311741
I see what you did there

>> No.1311747

>>1311741
reading ayn rand
ayn rand busts in telling me i wrote this part in black
i tell her i'm reading her objectivist book.
she tells me to go do my chores
ayn rand isnt' fine literature worth writing in green about

>> No.1311765

>>1310881
>“… It’s no mature enough for the debate, it’s aimed at children…”
Isn't that the book that ends with "and then all the soldiers had gay sex THE END"

>> No.1311772
File: 36 KB, 296x459, 2009634037.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1311772

> Reading A Confederacy of Dunces.
> Mom barges in and tells me to get out of the tub.
> I put her in her place.
> Mom does not have proper theology and geometry.

>> No.1311785

>not reading atlas shrugged
>not reading any ayn rand at all
>i am actually a bee, i do a dance telling those in the hive where the nectar is
>i dance all day
>this is my bee life ;~;

>> No.1311815
File: 24 KB, 640x480, 1279325324389.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1311815

>reading this thread
>no new posts in a long time
>bump
>I am great credit to thread.

>> No.1312275

>sitting in the doctors office
>free books shelf
>it's full of Jackie Collins and James Patterson novels
>my doctor does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.1313041

>reading the back of a cereal box in front of the TV on saturday morning
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>i say "okay"
>she goes away, i think she's going back to work
>i finish eating my cereal and put the bowl and spoon on the counter next to the sink, the cereal back into the cabinet
>i clean my room and feel satisfied with the orderliness after i'm done
>i spend the rest of the day reading, playing video games and do some school work
>mom comes home from work after awhile, she is very tired. my house is pretty small, when you walk in from the front door you are right in the living room. i guess other people i knew had some ante-room where you could put coats or shoes or like you'd have guests over and they weren't in the family room right away. that's kind of strange to me.
>i go to my room eventually and read before going to bed
>i was reading dante's inferno, my dad gave it to me
>i liked the illustrations even though i didn't fully understand the book
>i was 12

>> No.1313072
File: 15 KB, 320x240, 1286592830791.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1313072

>sitting in World Lit
>reading Kafka on the Shore
>teacher tells me now's not the time to read
>mfw

>> No.1313095

>>1313072

It's disrespectful not to pay attention to the lesson. If you wanted to read for fun you should have stayed home.

>> No.1313126
File: 9 KB, 480x360, 0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1313126

>Reading a Kafka novel (America)
>old woman comes up to me on the train, asks me to help her off at the next stop
>i say fine even though im reading
>help her off, she says thanks but only smiles, i dont feel any warmth
>i cant appreciate light human interaction ;_:
♫ I nevar even knew what hugz were ♫

>> No.1313139

>Reading Kama Sutra
>Mom walks in bedroom
>Ask her to demonstrate reverse cow-girl
>Grounds me for a year
>My mother doesn't appreciate fine literature

>> No.1313146

>Reading The Satanic Verses
>Muslim walks in
>Police still haven't found the rest of my body

>> No.1313158

>reading Milan Kundera
>eating three bean soup
>all the beans float to the top, meaning I only get spoonfuls of beans
>I imagine they float to the top of my stomach
>I imagine they make me lighter than air, and I fly, experiencing infinity
>I then imagine they float up to my throat, making me sick, falling to my death, experiencing limitations
>this reminds me of my mother's lecherous second husband who was a bean farmer
>finally understand the unbearable lightness of beans

>> No.1313160

>reading Animal Farm in high school during English class
>friend that sits in front of me asks "You like reading?" like it were some kind of oddity.

>> No.1313163

>Reading Atlas Shrugged
>Chariman Mao barges in and orders me to work for the "will of the people"
>I tell him I'm an objectivist and I'm reading
>he says he doesn't care I need to think of the collective
>chairman Mao doesn't appreciate the will of individual man

>> No.1313165

>reading Being and Time
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her what I'm reading
>my mom does not understand

>> No.1313169

>Reading Labyrinths
>Jorge Luis Borges in
>/lit/ does not appreciate fine puns

>> No.1313197
File: 47 KB, 394x465, Sylvia_plath.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1313197

>Reading Atlus Shrugged
>I notice a strange smell coming from my oven
>stick head in to see what the problem is
>die

>> No.1313206

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her I'm reading
>she says she doesn't care I need to do my chores
>my mom does not appreciate fine literature
>call the girlfriend up
>ask her about her day
>blah blah blah
>tell her i spent the day reading
>ewwwwwwwww reading is gaaaay!
>start to rage
>head over to her house with a balaclave on
>break in the downstairs window with plans of raping her with a copy of Atlas Shrugged shredded and then moulded into a dildo and hardered with many layers of glue.
>her little brothers awake
>put hand over his mouth and push his eye balls in until i feel his brain
>kill him
>go upstairs
>creep along to her room
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>> No.1313228

>>1313158
i lol'd

>> No.1313232

>>1313158
WIN

>> No.1313251

>reading Atlas Shrugged
>mom barges in and orders me to clean my room
>I tell her it's her job because i am a genetic superman destined for greatness and she is only smart enough to be a mom who cooks and cleans