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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 61 KB, 406x450, gandalf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1298095 No.1298095 [Reply] [Original]

The Lord of the Rings never made sense. Gandalf should have had the eagles of Manwe drop the ring into the fire at the start while the nazgul were distracted.

in this video he gets raped. i'm glad to see that old fuck get what's coming to him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qullWVe6gQg&feature=player_embedded

>> No.1298099
File: 54 KB, 300x299, zlaughing_baby.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1298099

> i got a lead pipe in my head that says this old fuck ain't magic

>> No.1298174

that was some funny shit. i was high and nearly wanted to die.

>> No.1298197

i lol'd

>> No.1298307

>>1298095

Eagles don't listen to your bullshit and Eagles make good Sauron's Eye target.

/thread gtfo read

>> No.1299311

>>1298307
if they could get there that quickly it doesn't matter if Sauron could see them you fool

>> No.1299314

Gandalf wasn't perfect. That's basically the point of the story, unfortunately...

>> No.1299326

You don't just fly into Mordor.

>> No.1299336

Sauron could see them coming from miles away. HE WAS A GIANT FUCKING EYE

You're a fucking retard, op.

>> No.1299350
File: 22 KB, 424x300, fellbeast.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1299350

Yeah, it's not like Sauron has any sort of areal defenses.

>> No.1299358
File: 3 KB, 209x215, 1283596521538.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1299358

>>1298095
I can never tell whether people who make this statement are trolls or retards.

>> No.1299381

>>1299350
The Nazgul did not get their winged steeds until after Frodo left the Shire. So all the people saying Sauron would have seen them are missing the point- he could not have done anything until it was too late.

>> No.1299613

> they would rape him to death's door and then nurse him back to health


lolol

>> No.1299626

Rape him they did, again and again, repeatedly and repeatedly. They would rape him to deaths door, and then nurse him back to health, and then Rape him back to death's door;
They did it again and again, throughout the centuries.

Gandalf-Raping became a tradition passed down from ancestor to ancestor, generation to generation. A holiday was created called Gandalf Raping Day, and on this day, once a year, they would stop raping Gandalf and nurse him back to health.

But as sure as the sun would rise the next day, the raping was right back on.
Until one day in the year Eleventy-Twenty-Teenth, a mischievous young hobbit by the name of Goodo forgot what day it was and raped Gandalf on Gandalf Raping Day, thus not allowing him time to be nursed back to health and killing him.

Everyone thought this was hilarious and erected a giant statue of Goodo that stands in Hobbiton Square to this very day.

>> No.1299636

This had been done, and done better, many times before. The idea has merit, but not originality, and that video sucked. The acting was terrible; the ending narration was the only amusing part.

>> No.1299660

Oh hello people who have never read The Lord of The Rings.

The eagles could not handle the "weight" of the ring, their wills not being as strong.

If you remember, the ring does grab hold of certain peoples minds far easier than others. This is why a pure hearted Hobbit stood the most chance than someone who wanted to attain power at any point.

Hobbits just want to get drunk and laid, and theres plenty of that shit going down in the Shire.

tl;dr learn to fucking read you shitheads.

>> No.1299664

>>1299660
>pure hearted Hobbits

Bilbo was clearly just completely and utterly shit for a Hobbit then.

>> No.1299675

>>1299664

His Took side got the best of him and sent him on that awful adventure where he found the ring in the Goblin tunnels. He kept it for, what, 60ish years? Yeah, his soul went to shit because of it.

>> No.1299671

>>1299664
Examples nigger? Compared to anyone else in middle earth, he was a fucking saint.

Unless you were trolling, in which case 10/10 raged hard.

>> No.1299674

>>1299664
Only after he had the ring for like 6 decades.

>> No.1299695

>>1299660
And aside from that, simply flying to the volcano might not have worked. What if it got intercepted and the eagle dropped the ring? Congratulations faggots, it's now right in the heart of his territory.

>> No.1299724

>>1299381
If the Eagles had it, the ring would have bended their will and forced them to take it somewhere where Sauron could have easily been able to get ahold of it.

>> No.1299778

>>1299664
What? Bilbo held the ring for years and years and never became corrupted. In The Hobbit used the ring plenty of times and wasn't even affect slightly by it (granted Tolkien probably didn't think up of the idea at the time).

>> No.1299800

Give Bilbo ring
Attach Bilbo to Eagle
Drop Ring in fire
???
Profit

>> No.1299810

>>1299695
Sauron would have just fired a giant ball of flame from his magic eye if he'd so much as sensed something as major as an undisguised Maia incursion into Mordor.

>> No.1299815
File: 25 KB, 360x337, Boromir.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1299815

>>1299800

Yeah I'm sure people around the ringbearer don't get affected too

>> No.1299827

>>1299381
Still wouldn't have mattered. The ring HAD to be destroyed in the Crack of Doom, so he still would've posted the entire might of Mordor in front of that little door.

>> No.1299854

>Give Bilbo ring
>Drop Bilbo in fire

much easier!

>> No.1299868

>>1299810
It's not clear the the eagles are Maia, but in any case, Sauron no longer has that kind of power. There is nothing he could have done to stop them if they acted quickly.

>> No.1299873

>>1299660
The eagles are under the direction of Manwe. They aren't going to be corrupted by the allure of the ring.

>> No.1299891

>>1299873
Under the direction of Manwe =/= Manwe. If Gandalf thought HE could be corrupted by the Ring, I can guarantee you they would be able to, too.

>> No.1299905
File: 18 KB, 560x384, hobbit_1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1299905

>>1299854
>Give Bilbo ring
>Drop Bilbo in fire
You haven't got the "Bilbo"!

Thorin sits down and sings about gold

>

>> No.1299919
File: 43 KB, 460x500, ohlookitsthisthreadagain.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1299919

>> No.1299926

>>1299905
Excellent. Positively excellent.

>> No.1299974

Stupid fanboys saying stupid shit. At no point in the books does it say Sauron is capable of anything beyond directing his generals. He can't "shoot fireballs out of his giant eye"

The whole story is a giant plot hole if you look at it from a "They have to do this shit quickly and with as little risk as possible" perspective. Everyone in was just a barely functioning retard.

The story is about the journey, not the killing of the bad guy.

>> No.1300010

>>1299891
Which is why you have them carry Frodo to mount doom. The eagles cannot use the true power of the ring as Gandalf can so it would take a long time for them to be corrupted, if corrupted they could be. It seems like this could have been done quickly and easily.

>> No.1300021

The invasion of Iraq never made sense. Bush should have had Switzerland drop Saddam into the fire at the start while the Republican Guard were distracted.