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/lit/ - Literature

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12849113 No.12849113[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

What’ll it be, anon?

>> No.12849130

>>12849113
What's on draft?

>> No.12849133

>>12849113
please read my book. I tried so hard and no one cares

>> No.12849137

One shot of Yeedeelahoodeelaadee my good fellow

>> No.12849139

>>12849113
One tequila and a list of my regrets in life, please.

>> No.12849146

>>12849130
The usual, nothing fancy.
>>12849133
I’m sure the publisher will get back to you soon anon, how about a drink to take your mind off of it.
>>12849137
Coming right up.

>> No.12849148

>>12849113
I was thinking, eating animals destroys the ecosystem, but vegetarianism can be harmful as well. What would humans have to eat to definetly not destroy nature? And don't you dare say other humans.

>> No.12849157

>>12849139
Sure thing. What’s going on big guy?

>> No.12849159

>>12849148
Oh yeah, I would like some scotch

>> No.12849168

>>12849148
Insects maybe?

>> No.12849170

I've never been to a pub. I want to experience it at least once but I don't want to be the loser who is all by himself.

>> No.12849174

Gordon's Martini cheers m8

>> No.12849178

>>12849113
One Modelo negro michelada extra clam juice

>> No.12849181

>>12849148
Aborted Fetuses

>> No.12849190

>>12849181
Why would you eat yourself?

>> No.12849191
File: 297 KB, 710x946, 235346.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12849191

>having to use ironic wojak comics to express your relationship with reality

for shame /lit/, I thought you were more sincere than that

>> No.12849195

>>12849170
You’re always welcome here anon.
>>12849178
Long day at the construction site?

>> No.12849198

>>12849174
[A big tiddied trans girl awkwardly stares at you with pharmacologically glazed eyes. Her glance lingers as the vest is forged]]

>> No.12849205

>>12849146
Thanks, Jeeves, but I've already sent out more than 50 query letters. This is the end of the line for this /lit/tard

>> No.12849206

>>12849157
I'm insane to the point where I'm thinking about putting wires in my mouth to stop me from talking.
Luckily, my writing is creative and interesting but I'm so unfocused, my ideas come out like splurting a tube of goo on a table instead of like a faucet.

>> No.12849215

>>12849191
I wish he was my friend. And alive. And still writing. Fuck this shit fucking clown world. He knew it before even the best of us

>> No.12849218

>>12849195
Si, Senor

>> No.12849222
File: 48 KB, 500x466, 1551368429195.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12849222

>>12849113
Rev up those fryers
Peasant coming through
get me some fuckin ale

>> No.12849228

>>12849205
What’s your book about buddy? Maybe it just needs some tweaking.

>> No.12849247

>>12849228
Funny you should ask. I've gone ahead and self-published, to decent reviews.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33987393-amino?ac=1&from_search=true
I'll offer a free download
https://mega.nz/#!ssBwHCQS!ueKOKNGmHofeaAhvaLgu-4fNOt0Mw-zV7BocIWAVFDQ

>> No.12849252

>>12849198

Uh, hullo. My eyes briefly espy the unnatural bulge in her neck, before my shame makes itself felt, I meet her gaze, and then disgust makes me look elsewhere.

Ah, I'm going to the loo. I finish my drink in a gulp and make for the exit.

>> No.12849256

>>12849252
*stops you before you leave*
No.

>> No.12849266

>>12849256
Ay, bloddy woman, let him b-. The peasant then notices the bulge on that "woman"'s crotch. Nevermind, crops are callin me, bye. And so he leaves without a care in the world.

>> No.12849272

>>12849113
Ice water, please.

>> No.12849275
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12849275

>>12849113
I couldn't help myself

>> No.12849281

>>12849113
A glass of milk spiked with laudanum please!

>> No.12849282

>>12849113
give me a drink that will undoubtedly put me out of my misery

>> No.12849287

>>12849256

Okay, I think. This is it. I've been waiting for this moment, I've been preparing for it.

Worriedly, I shove my hand in my pocket and clench my penis.

Thank God. It's flaccid.

>> No.12849289

>>12849287
*walks away*

>> No.12849294

>>12849148
do you know how seeds propagate retard? animals were meant to consume plants

>> No.12849297

>>12849191
Sincerity is like the weapons-grade form of social nihilism that casts out the self as a whole before a crowd of swine that are not going to understand you, but you who should be knowing better makes this work.

That's why I come on /lit/, to feed!

>> No.12849299

>>12849113
cranberry juice

>> No.12849300

>>12849294
It was a shitpost, you fairy.
Where the fuck you came from?

>> No.12849302

>>12849297
worse* NOT work, it only works for me, who doesn't understand

>> No.12849304

>>12849113

One beer, please.
And leave the bottle.

>> No.12849306

>>12849148
As a vegetarian, I can't wait until elon musk invents battery packs we can insert into our body to give use energy making food obsolete.

>> No.12849309

>>12849206
Be insane, keep talking, fuck em.

>> No.12849313

>>12849113
Einstök White Ale for me

>> No.12849315

Oh and ill have a whiskey on ice

>> No.12849317

>>12849247
Shit, I’ll give it a look, why not.

>> No.12849322

>>12849289

I passed the test without a single throb of penile activity.

Looking at her broad-shouldered back as she walked away, I realised that coming here, whilst a small victory over the modern sexual fetishes of breast-laden men and penis-equipped women, was a mistake, and the Barman had seen me fondling my genitals through my trousers.

So all the while, as I walked outside, entered my car, and began to drive away, an intense red heat entered my cheeks. The shame. I swore I'd never post on 4chan ever again.

>> No.12849326

>>12849191
nice wacky bandana you retard

>> No.12849332

>>12849247
The Key To Everything sounds interesting as well

>> No.12849339

>>12849247
weak epigraph.

what's a panicpen?

reads like a film noir narrator is speaking it to me. not a bad thing. sort of funny, though, once I realized it. then I embraced it for shits and giggles.

what is frenic and why is a guy who can't talk using a word like that?

>> No.12849344
File: 1.86 MB, 1482x2039, amino cover 8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12849344

>>12849317
>>12849332
Thank you. I'm not here to advertise. I'll give anything I wrote away for free. Just ask me.

>> No.12849350

>>12849339
panicpen: a device like a tazer, but causes a panic attack
frenic: schizophrenic.
The novel is written in a futuristic dialog, much like A Clockwork Orange. It takes about 150 years in the future

>> No.12849354

>>12849339
Also, the epigraph was actually said by FDR. I didn't write it. But it comes into play later

>> No.12849357

>>12849350
*takes place
I actually am drunk right now. I've been in this bar long enough. Though I will take another beer, Jeevsie

>> No.12849359

>>12849344
That is an aggressively ugly cover anon

>> No.12849363

>>12849359
a picture I took in China
though I do prefer ugliness over beauty, as a writer. there's more honesty in it

>> No.12849379

Whiskey soda.

Shipping off to boot camp soon. I’m trying to write poetry before I leave, and it’s going okay. Also trying to read more, but I lack the concentration. At least I have a gf now.

>> No.12849418

>>12849379
If you value your anus, don't let anyone in training know that you write poetry.

>> No.12849433

>>12849113
let me get a pitcher and 1 glass please,can i smoke in here?

>> No.12849436

>>12849113
I'll just have some Yamazaki 18 on the rocks please

>> No.12849475

I’ll have a Sound and the Fury please

>> No.12849497

>>12849247
>https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33987393-amino?ac=1&from_search=true
that's a hell of a review you've got there I'm giving this a peak anon. that sounds pretty fucking cool

>> No.12849500

>>12849299
what is it your period?

>> No.12849727
File: 22 KB, 330x440, absinthe-frappe-vertical-crdt-jessica-sanders-330x440.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12849727

Absinthe frappe pls

>> No.12849742

I thought i was in love but I only loved imagined version of her not her. Give me vodka

>> No.12849754

>>12849113
Anything just give me something bartender

>> No.12849759

have a date with a girl i met right outside the library the other day
tall double mid shelf vodka with sprite and 4 limes

>> No.12849766

>>12849754
how about a blowjob

>> No.12849774

God I love this OP. I wanna be a lit bartender. Where do I apply?

>> No.12849776

>>12849774
watch the anime 'Bartender'

or go to bartending school, whichever works.

>> No.12849791

>>12849113
Guinness without a shamrock please.

>> No.12849794

>>12849791
Irish need not apply.

>> No.12849833

>>12849113
alright barman you got a youtube video you'd recommend for learning to annotate philosophy books?

>> No.12849838

if being a bartender is appealing to you, just know you are a creep weirdo. sorry for breaking it to you

>> No.12849867

>>12849170
Most people probably wouldn’t even notice you. As for those that do, drunks love company so you might not end up alone after all.

>> No.12849875

>>12849170
no point in going by yourself, at worst you might start to enjoy it and ruin your life. just find yourself a nice student cafe and waste your hours there.

>> No.12849883

>>12849191
all language makes use of iterated symbols and signs. meme-culture is the closest a lot of people can get to sincerity, and desu it functions as a bridge for those who want to find a language that is more authentic and true to their relationship with reality.

>> No.12849938
File: 15 KB, 190x207, Bard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12849938

>>12849794
I am anon, the Irishman,
full of hope and woe
With eyes without light,
hands without ethanol.

Browsing /lit/ on my journey,
with the lustre of my heart
worn and tired,
until the end of my way.

Look at me now
my body to the bar,
reciting poetry
to an ungenerous bastard.

>> No.12849968

>>12849148
It's not destroying nature if you grow those animals and plants on a farm for the exact purpose of eating them

>> No.12849980 [DELETED] 

>>12849113
Ah, to walk again upon the bloodstained ground, TO THE LAST AND THE LAST ROUND.

>> No.12849987

>>12849113
Ah, to walk again upon the bloodstained ground, TO THE LAST MAN AND THE LAST ROUND.

>> No.12850006

>>12849968
you use nutrients and energy to grow things, brainlet

>> No.12850243

>>12849113
A daiquiri, please. Cherry bitters on top. Thanks.

>> No.12850274

Say, barman, do you happen to have a brother named Robert? Works at the local kino?

>> No.12850296

CAN I GET UUUUUHHHHH... ARAK

>> No.12850322

one chocolate milk please

>> No.12850326

i would like to drink some fucking book discussion

>> No.12850334

>>12850326
you came to the wrong place, nerd
>>12849113
>le wacky roleplay thread
cringing at your life rn my dude

>> No.12850386

>>12849113
English Breakfast tea, and a book about an alcoholic either getting sober or meeting a grisly end. I've already read The Green Man.

I gave up alcohol for lent. Its the longest Ive gone without drinking in years, and I want to follow at least 1 thing through to the end for once

>> No.12850434

>>12849113
Manhattan, with Jameson, of course

Nofap is never easy but it does get easier. But any exercise in control over one's bodily desires is a valuable and necessary for good virtue.

>> No.12850459

>>12849379
Just do yourself a favor and don’t be one of those guys who rushes into things with the girl right before you leave for the army. Keep it cas my friend.

>> No.12850501

Vodka and soda, please. Trying to cut those calories, harharharhar.

>> No.12850551

>>12849113
Laphroaig 10, neat.

>> No.12850578
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12850578

>> No.12850656
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12850656

>>12849113
I'll take a gunfire - black tea and rum.
Read anything good lately?

>> No.12850845

>>12849344
Keep the photo change the colors

>> No.12850855

>>12849170
One time I went to a speakeasy-style bar, sat in the far back corner, and read a book for 3 hours nursing 2 drinks. Just do it you poser faggot, why care so much about your fragile little ego? Grow a set of nads.

>> No.12850876

>>12849148
The problem doesn't come from consumption but from excessive methods of breeding. Same thing with with agriculture, you can do it until the ends of times if you do it right but if you rape it with onions non stop for economic reasons then you are fucking it up.

>> No.12850882

>>12849113
Bourbon, neat, with a pint of best bitter...

>> No.12851205
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12851205

>>12849113
Yissir, a wee Guinness would be good

>> No.12851209

>>12849113
Water straight from the tap please. Only losers are boozers.

>> No.12851212
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12851212

>>12849113
Ale, please

>> No.12851245

>>12851209
have fun drinkin fluoride and getting the gay

>> No.12851398

>>12851209
cheap bastard, get out of my pub

>> No.12851658

>>12849113
double whiskey, no mixer

pls

>> No.12851707
File: 287 KB, 696x1118, Screenshot_20190330-187990_Twitter.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12851707

Where'd the Materialist toadies thread go?

>> No.12851794

For some time I’ve been having some problems focusing . Not a bad thing is more of vision.
Let me explain back in sep 2018 I started meditation for some reason I started having this visions, and numbers that keeps piping out at me so I started wringing them dawn, feels like a computer always running numbers some times they get hard to Focus on why?
a^5 +b^5 + c^5 = d^5!
Much more like this is all day
Some number I look up are I’m just gonna say WTF
Some even coordinates
Why ?
You can think what you want this is noon stop for me just looking for
Answers .

>> No.12851816

>>12849766
Uh ok

>> No.12851830

>>12849363
I think he means the color scheme.

>> No.12851841
File: 18 KB, 800x600, Slosh by Rupi.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12851841

saw this in the bathroom. what does it mean?

>> No.12851866

>>12849191
tfw no gf isnt ironic

>> No.12851870

I want my midwest craft meme beers. Got any Bells?

>> No.12851913

Vodka, leave the bottle and leave me.

>> No.12851984

>>12849113
2 Pils

>> No.12852019
File: 629 KB, 2500x1870, tfw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12852019

>bring book to the bar
>wait for someone to notice my interesting book and strike up conversation
>get drunk alone again and can't read anymore
haha hey guys

>> No.12852031

>>12852019
>*been sitting a couple of stools away from you the entire time*
>I know what it feels like to be made of glass

>> No.12852033

>>12852019
>using a book as a social accessory
>bringing a book to a bar
>drinking while reading
Its your own fault

>> No.12852183

>>12849148
Buy local. Drive 15-20 miles away from the shithole city you probably live in and visit a farm market. They're fucking everywhere as long as you're not a LA or NY cuck. Eat whatever the fuck they have for sale because that's in season and probably not exploiting retarded Brazilians

>> No.12852270

Give me the first drink that comes to your mind. It'll taste better than my favorite along with a conversation.

>> No.12852451

I'll take a Negroni. My friend will hand a sangria. I expected /lit/ to have better taste in drinks.

>> No.12852803

>>12849113
A death in the afternoon, please.
As in I want to die.

>> No.12852862

>>12852019
Read so much but still no one to talk to about it

>> No.12852878

>>12849113
Can I see your food menu

>> No.12853034

coffee

>> No.12853238

Double shot of Elmer T Lee. And if I see water or ice in that glass with my bourbon I’m going to beat you until there’s bones in your stool

>> No.12853399

>>12852878
Yessir. We have peanuts, pickled pigs feet and vegan queer patties

>> No.12853426

>>12853399
Can I have an uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Irish coffee with some uhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm meat?

>> No.12853490

>>12849113
What drink would you recommend for someone reading Infinite Jest?

>> No.12853614

>>12849113
wild turkey please, i would really really like to kill myself

>> No.12853640

>>12853490
bleach

>> No.12853653

>>12849727
F A G G O T
A
G
G
O
T

>> No.12853666

I'll have two whisky sours, also kill me

>> No.12853676

I'm back Butterfly :3.

I always get banned for posting that sexual shit. please post tonight!!!

>> No.12853718

>>12852270
the first drink that comes to mind is an irish carbomb. why don't you go out to the parking lot and make sure your ride starts up ok? this weather has a lot of folks' cars acting up. we can talk if- i mean when you come back

>> No.12853726

>>12853490
wild turkey, just as Himself would drink

>> No.12853731

>>12853676
based

>> No.12853804

Oh no thanks, I'm good on the drinking desu. I'm just on my phone pretending like I have some better shit to do bc it's boring as fuck in this bar lmoa. I hope you get paid well for the bullshit you have to deal with nightly, especially from the guys that don't have their shit together.

Edit: words
Edit 2: without autocorrect, I'd be unintelligible
Edit 3: Thanks for the Gold, kind stranger!

>> No.12853805

>>12849130
I chuckled.

>> No.12853852

>>12849130
>first post literally best post

>> No.12853928

>>12849191
consider sincerely hanging yourself bandana man

>> No.12853936

>>12849113
I regret becoming a teacher. I wanna get my masters in public admin and get a desk job

>> No.12854135

>>12853936
Was thinking about becoming a teacher myself. What do you dislike about it?

>> No.12854143

>>12849113
A tall glass of I don't think my gf loves me anymore

>> No.12854253

I went through the program so and but and but so I'll have a glass of water

>> No.12854398

>>12849247
Seems interesting, I'll definitely read it after I've finished a few other books I have lined up.

>> No.12854438

>>12851212
wtf was his problem?

>> No.12854485

>>12849418
All good, I’m a big dude so most people are surprised when they find out I like this shit.
>>12850459
Noted. I told her that it’ll be hard and if she breaks it off that I’ll understand. We’ll see how it goes while I’m in boot.

>> No.12854488

>>12849130
kek based

>> No.12854498

>>12849247
gonna give it a purchase and a read anon. congrats on the reviews, best of luck to you

>> No.12854511

>>12849247
>>12854498
just bought both of your books anon. looking forward to when you become famous and i get to sniff my own farts and say "i remember when nobody appreciated his talent!!!!!"

>> No.12854516

>>12853666
based and checked. barkeep, i'll have the same

>> No.12854521

>>12853238
double shot of Elmer Fudd. and if i see water or ice in that glass with my bourbon i'm going to bear your meat until there's cummies in my mouth

>> No.12854706

I'LL HAVE TWO NUMBER NINES
A NUMBER NINE LARGE
A NUMBER SIX WITH EXTRA DIP
A NUMBER SEVEN
TWO NUMBER FORTY-FIVES. ONE WITH CHEESE
AND A LARGE SODA

>> No.12854711

>>12854706
I.... I think you've done it. You've said the only thing that would get you kicked out of a fucking bar.

Good job /lit/. :3

>> No.12854933
File: 103 KB, 1200x800, bolano.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12854933

I'll have a gin and tonic with thyme and wild strawberries in a wine glass, heavy on the ice

>> No.12854964

>>12849113
life is quite good, though i wish i could make a vow of silence for 10 days, visit another city and spend hours upon hours walking, reading, watching things off my kino list, drawing stuff, all without saying or typing a word.
just pour me some tap water and lace it with 2cb.

>> No.12855089

>>12849148
The rich are not human

>> No.12855117

>>12849181
based

>> No.12855126
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12855126

>>12854706