Write whats on you're mind

[Anonymous No.12541378]

[Anonymous No.12541381]

>you're
Go back to /pol/.

[Anonymous No.12541392]

>>12541378
>you're
Please, be a bait. Please.

[Anonymous No.12541406]

I am interested in literature, writing, amateur sculpting, film and mycology. Problem is, I am fat, ugly, and balding. So, all my interests are things only attractive people can pull off.

I am going to die alone, but I think it’s going to be all right.

[Anonymous No.12541411]

>>12541406
damn...

[Jonathan Blackpool No.12541413]

>>12541378
Thinking about if I should read more about Hinduism or Sikhism. What's on your mind Anon?

[Anonymous No.12541414]

>>12541406
Get interested in cardio. You'll fix the first two problems.

[Anonymous No.12541429]

>>12541406
just be yourself

[Anonymous No.12541432]

>>12541413
Hinduism is like reading a D&D Monster Manual. It’s very neat.

[Anonymous No.12541443]

>>12541414
Nah, I lift weights. I only cardio afterwards. But my body was ruined over 27 years, so it won’t be fixed soon. Give me some time. I did get interested in a better lifestyle though.

[Jonathan Blackpool No.12541448]

>>12541406
That is a load of bullshit. Have you seen George R. R. Martin or Danny DeVito? Suck it up pussy and go after what you want in life, not everyone is a 10/10.
You could put on a hat and you probably choose to be fat.

[Anonymous No.12541468]

>>12541448
No one wants to date a creeper, dude. Not even other creepers.

[Anonymous No.12541469]

I can either continue on my path of being true to myself in which case I’ll be dead or homeless in a few years, or I can sell out to the man.
Luckily in the past year I’ve finally realized that it’s immature and narcissistic to think one is special enough not to sell out.

[Anonymous No.12541499]

i really hit it off with this cute girl, we had a great time together and she gave me her number

she's got a danish cell-phone and i don't have international coverage or other social media kek

[Anonymous No.12541575]

>>12541499
Just eat the cost long enough to agree upon a new platform.

[Anonymous No.12541756]

Yesterday I was reading Swann's Way in bed, couldn't fall asleep, rose from my bed and got drunk on moonshine.
I finally went to bed at 3 AM and dreamed of traversing beautiful verdant hills, while a narrator talked about everything I saw.
I remember the way up being very difficult, but when I saw the lush vegetation on top of the hill it was all worth it.
I don't think I've ever had a dream this vivid and enchanting before.

[Anonymous No.12541958]

I am self-conscious of wearing stuff like graphic t-shirts in an extremely casual environment of nerds (not derogatory) who do it. Sometimes I want to as I used to do it but I kind of grew out of it because I started becoming an elitist asshole about dressing plainly and now I can't really get out of that mindset.

I have it in my brain that if you're a certain age those things are childish but I'm trying not to give a damn. It's just clothing, right? Who cares? Am I being stupid or some kind of "mature poser?" I feel like I am.

[Anonymous No.12542051]

>>12541958

>dressing plainly is elitist

Lol what times have we come to. Let me guess, you're American. Consider this: if you're the sort of person who lets himself be guided by others on how to dress and judging others for dressing how they want to, aren't you then partaking in the same elitism you accuse others of? It's a difference of scale. Start dressing like an adult with aesthetic sense.

[Anonymous No.12542058]

>>12541958

>dressing plainly is elitist

Lol. Let me guess, you're American. Consider this: if you're the sort of person who lets himself be guided by others on how to dress and judging others for dressing how they want to, aren't you then partaking in the same elitism you accuse others of? It's a difference of scale. Start dressing like an adult with aesthetic sense.

[Anonymous No.12542072]

>>12542058

No, I'm saying that from my own personal outlook and how I stupidly look down on people as childish for wearing things they like like graphic t-shirts. I mostly just wear plaid and trousers personally.

I am the elitist here.

[Anonymous No.12542131]

>>12542072

Of course these sort of men dress like children dress, though that is no reason to look down on a person. Here you differ from them, because you care about how you look, as you probably notice beauty in other things like writing.

[Anonymous No.12542152]

>>12541958
>>12542072
graphic shirts being inherently bad is a meme, a nice graphic shirt can look better than an ugly mallcore plaid shirt
admittedly most of them look like shit, but a plaid shirt and khakis is barely a step up

[Anonymous No.12542159]

>>12542131

I think I'm just a twat desu.

[Anonymous No.12542275]

>>12541443
literally just starve yourself. body dysmorphia is your best friend for losing weight
t. recovering anorexic
>>12541468
>>12541406
who said anything about dating? if being fat and ugly matters, it's because of the dating parameter, not because of the interests in and of themselves. if you want to be skinny just make yourself miserable but it's not necessary to get good at cool shit
>>12541469
it's not just immature and narcissistic, it's just wasteful. sure selling out is kind of gross but if you don't you'll just die which is grosser. make the best of the shit life you've got, and if it gets too frustrating just kill yourself
godspeed anon
>>12542152
i don't think they necessarily look bad but i think it's very close. i human form is the medium that clothing work around, and a graphic is suited for sending a message not for working around form
if you're a believer in statement pieces i could see how you'd feel differently though
it should also be said that i think patterns are a bit of a different thing, because people can visually like an inch of the pattern and the rest will fill in, making it a lot less distracting than large, irregular , and expressive "graphics"

[Anonymous No.12542310]

I used to read constantly a couple years ago
Now I only want to read after doing psychedelics and when I finish a book I just reread moby dick afterwards

[Anonymous No.12542442]

Without my being aware of it, one of the detriments of my life had come into operation. And because of my struggles against it, from the beginning my every fantasy was tinged with despair, strangely complete and in itself resembling passionate desire.

>>12541406
>only attractive people can pull off
Don't fall into this trap.

My mentor suffers from ailments worse than yours but he's found commercial success in the film industry through hard work, great skill, and a little luck. Work on improving the things you're unhappy with so you can focus on the things you do enjoy.

>>12542072
>>12542159
Sounds less like a twat and more like a desperate attempt to justify an insecurity. Style is half fashion and half attitude- it's not elitist to have preferences.

[Anonymous No.12542660]

I don't know what to do.

>>12541381
>>12541392
It's not a big deal. You people are so insufferable.

>>12541406
>are things only attractive people can pull off.

No, they're things that successful people can pull off, you pathetic self-pitying fuck. Your disgusting attitude will attribute for the reason you die alone.

[Anonymous No.12542729]

I caught oneitis for an arthoe and it has completely destroyed my capacity to feel

[Anonymous No.12542981]

>Art is what distinguishes something in the universe from being another series of events.
"Series of events" being used as the building blocks of existence
>Being 3rd dimensional beings we are restricted to experiencing space-time linearly. Hence the perception of the universe as a series of events in the first place.
>Just as 2nd dimensional beings might philosophize the color red, we philosophize God.

[Anonymous No.12543102]

>>12542442

I am insecure and I don't know how to stop it.

[Anonymous No.12543192]

snapchat up 20% in after hours trading, OOH YEAH!

[Anonymous No.12543252]

The Sound of Perseverance is the best Death album

[Anonymous No.12543254]

I'm really regretting picking a computer science major. It's too late to change now, though. What could I have pursued happily instead? I hope I don't end up killing myself out of misery.

[Anonymous No.12543701]

I spent the past year building a personal philosophy that is the basis of how I view the world, and it's starting to unravel. Being around my depressed friend is making me (once again) question everything and is making me think I've been deluding myself with my value system, and it's sucking the life out of me. I feel like I had reached equilibrium for a year and a half after years of turmoil, and now I'm slowly deconstructing back to square one. But of course, life is a tragedy punctuated by momentary peaks ---what did I expect?

[Anonymous No.12543725]

>>12543254
Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both.

Spoiler alert: you'll want to die either way. Everyone realizes this after graduation. Nobody is happy WORKING. what you think people do in whatever profession is not actually what they do.

[Anonymous No.12543734]

>>12541378
Succotash succotash win some cash

[Anonymous No.12543736]

>>12543725

-president emeritus de mott

[Anonymous No.12543740]

Seriously considering killing myself. Usual reasons for a 20something whitey in university. Too much of a pussy to actually follow through though, so probably not seriously considering.

Just normal being a fucking faggot.

[Anonymous No.12543743]

>>12542310
At least you're reading Anon, which can be said than more than half of this board.
>inb4 projecting

[Anonymous No.12543748]

i feel like my dream is ending when it has just begun...

by the grit of my teeth and with force of a thousand suns this sweet reverie of mine will live on and on!

[Anonymous No.12543764]

>>12541378
My toenails are gonna get ripped out My toenails are gonna get ripped out My toenails are gonna get ripped out My toenails are gonna get ripped out My toenails are gonna get ripped out My toenails are gonna get ripped outaakskskdnfjficirkrncosoodmwpxmneeowjbddjskjwxkelngnr

[Anonymous No.12543768]

I have no motivation to do things. Even things I want to do.

[Anonymous No.12543769]

>>12543252
i saw Death supporting Kreator once

[Anonymous No.12544215]

>>12543768
then the seeds of greatness are not in you, welcome to npcville

[Anonymous No.12544225]

>https://techcrunch.com/2019/02/05/raiseit/
>Reddit is raising a huge round near a $3 billion valuation

turns out banning nazis and incels is pretty good for business, 4channel btfo

[Anonymous No.12544261]

>>12541406
become one of those crazy shroom hermits

[Anonymous No.12544358]

>>12543768
it's okay, you are like most of us, all untermensch to some extent or another

[Anonymous No.12544369]

I am going to make it

[Anonymous No.12544398]

For fuck's sake... is there ANY good way to meet women outside of shitty dating apps?? Even at bars, everyone goes in groups and if you try to single a girl out you immediately look like a creep, especially if you're there by yourself. I just moved to a new city to be a slightly higher paid wageslave and I'm lonely as fuck. At least college gave me just enough human interaction to save my sanity.

[Anonymous No.12544420]

>>12544398
join an mma gym

[Anonymous No.12544621]

>>12544215
>>12544358

Oh well. Guess I got too involved in stories where there's always someone special when in reality none of us matter and our actions won't matter.

It's a tough pill to swallow.

[Anonymous No.12544644]

>>12541378
my kegel floor is spasming from tension
i hate my neighbour so much
i'm so stressed out

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.12544651]

>>12544369

[Anonymous No.12544650]

>>12544398
women are herd animals anon

[Anonymous No.12544660]

>>12541378
what are some events from your past that keep you awake at night anons?
I remember a close friend of mine getting bullied for coming out as a lesbian back when I was 14, I didn't actively take part in it but I did not defend her, instead I stopped speaking to her and distanced myself, she eventually transfered out.
I still feel like garbage when I remember it, it's become my go to reference whenever I need to remind myself that I'm an awful person

[Anonymous No.12544893]

I think I have a drug problem
Where are my days going?
It is a blur until the night and then I get high
All I do is seek escape
Every waking moment
I will be somewhere else
I am trying to escape myself
So that I can see myself

[Anonymous No.12544921]

>>12544893
i dont get literature anon

i really like this, its better than an emily dickinson poem i read

also hope you sort your drug problem out, life is incredible but its hard seeing that

[Anonymous No.12545025]

>>12544921
>its better than an emily dickinson poem i read
wow you really do not get literature

[Anonymous No.12545047]

Have I become the arthoe?

[Anonymous No.12545058]

what an awesome cerberus

[Anonymous No.12545382]

God damn it. Time is running, yet I haven't done anything by today. I should end that book my friend gave me. It's really good, yet I haven't read half of its 250 pages in three weeks. I should also go stroll a bit, for my knees need it. Last time I checked there was no popcorn in the drawer, could go and buy it now. Let's see if the mini market is open at these hours of the day.

[Anonymous No.12545641]

I'm listening to Sawbones, but a live episode, and whenever they mention something that is un-PC even if it's just old medical concept, the crowd starts booing.
I'm not the usual /pol/ guy, but 4chan culture makes me think that the male host would probably swallow it if his wife (the other host) decided to have an "open marriage", the old cuck meme, I also resent the booing people.

[Anonymous No.12545731]

I had a terrible dram last night. As I woke up in a hypnogogic state I heard a frightening voice ask me "Why do you study the gospels?" In my dreaming mind I let out a terrible scream, in my waking state I was frozen in fear. I spent the rest of that night with the duvet over my head, sweating in catatonic fear.
That was probably close to a week ago and I still can't sleep without the light on. I don't even own a Bible.

[Anonymous No.12545760]

After being away from uni for 3 months I feel like I have become fucking retarded. Like seriously, I was reading Camus yesterday and I couldn't follow along so I just gave up and watched Netflix instead

[Anonymous No.12545777]

I like wasting time

[Anonymous No.12545816]

>>12541378
The aussie in the room channels his spirit through a magic carpet. That cunt, making us look bad.

[Anonymous No.12545836]

>>12541378
Was thinking of buying a refurbished Dreamcast to live out my 14 year old dream of having one, but would really like a hobby I can talk about with other people and already spend most of my time shit posting, reading philosophy, and learning languages (which impresses at first, but just pisses people off after a while).

How do normies hold a conversation with each other? I can flirt with girls to some extent, but I have no idea how to talk to guys.

[Anonymous No.12545841]

>>12545760
This is how I started studying philosophy in the first place. 2 years after university I could feel myself getting dumber in real-time.

[Anonymous No.12545889]

>>12545836
They talk about sports and videogames.

[Anonymous No.12545981]

I have a ton on my plate right now, so I’ve been doing some serious compartmentalising to keep it from overwhelming me. The problem more and more, though, is that on days like today where there are big things or big things coming up, my attention goes to them and stuff starts falling through the cracks. I went to the wrong class this morning and didn’t even realize until it was almost over. Stuff like that and it’s making it hard to concentrate and stay calm.

[Anonymous No.12546365]

>>12544398
You think you can have normal human relations unmediated by techno-capital in 2019? Hahahahaha

[Anonymous No.12546407]

Started to really get into researching the Holocaust, found a lot of very questionable things. Wooden doors on gas chambers, crematoriums more efficient than modern ones, and lots of similar things. Seriously doubting that there were any concentrated efforts to commit genocide. I don't doubt that lots of people died just that it was an unintentional side effect of overcrowding and food supply disruptions from allied carpet bombing. I'm the last person that I would have ever expected to be a denier, being a millennial berniebro and having to read Anne Frank multiple times going through school, but here I am. It's been keeping me up at night, I can't stop thinking about it, I'm sure it's not healthy but it seems un-ignorable. I'm also becoming slightly antisemitic. Not sure how to deal with this

[Anonymous No.12546659]

My 16-year-old student has a crush on me (27), I have a crush on her, we've talked about it, decided to wait until summer to do anything close to acting upon it, and now someone mailed the principal telling him there's a rumor about a teacher and a student being in a relationship. He confronted me, I denied it, and he believes me, and I feel like shit for lying to an honest and good man. It feels /lit/ as fuck to know how hard this girl is crushing on me and to know that we might very well spend a big chunk of the summer fucking and talking about literature.

>when I'm 50
>she's gonna be 39
>onizuka.exe

[Anonymous No.12546683]

>>12546659
good luck being unemployed

[Anonymous No.12546697]

Getting sick of my job, but anytime i look at other vacanies i feel even sicker. I live in a waste land of a town with no opportunities and no money to move and no skills to offer in the first place. I want to die when i think i will be in this dead end job for life.

[Anonymous No.12546736]

>>12541958
I feel like you gotta go through a graphic tee Hegelian Dialectic

>thesis
I'm a teen who likes graphic tees

>antithesis
Graphic tees are childish and should never be worn

>synthesis
Dress appropriately for the situation and wear graphic tees if you like them

[Anonymous No.12546933]

>>12546659
The jezebel herself mailed it. Ruin your career over pussy

[Anonymous No.12546954]

>>12541378
I miss her

[Anonymous No.12546971]

>yfw America will never be socialist

omg best sotu of a lifetime last night, that shit was fire

[Anonymous No.12547009]

>>12541378

I think there is something seriously wrong with my health but I'm too afraid to go to the doctor.

[Anonymous No.12547025]

>>12547009
You have to man, the fear will keep haunting you if you don't.

If you end up finding you are healthy you will forget about your fears but even if you find anything worth dealing with you will have taken the right decision.

[Anonymous No.12547026]

>>12546407

You should read perpetrator documents\accounts of the holocaust. It happened. Don't turn into an autistic /pol/tard

[Anonymous No.12547033]

>>12547025

Thanks. I know for certain there is something wrong. I've been displaying some frightening symptoms and I just wanna fuckin die

[Anonymous No.12547041]

We're merely innocent creatures trying to comprehend things that are simply beyond our reach. We can't even know ourselves let alone the world around us.

Science is a meme.

[Anonymous No.12548010]

I got lead on and rejected by a girl and had to calm down my runnig laps around my block and punching my pillow.

[Anonymous No.12548134]

>>12546736

Thanks, anon. This helped. May get one tonight.

[Anonymous No.12548144]

>>12546971

>tfw americans don't even know what socialism is and will always actively be cucked by the ruling classes against their prole issues

[Anonymous No.12548160]

>>12546659
>when I'm 50
>she's gonna be 39

you are out as soon as she realizes that

[Anonymous No.12548201]

>>12546659

[Anonymous No.12548212]

>>12541378
managed to write a 9-page Beckett-style drama today in one sitting, so thats pretty nice.

[Anonymous No.12548213]

>>12546659
>we might very well spend a big chunk of the summer fucking and talking about literature.
Dude, that's a felony. Seriously don't do this

[Anonymous No.12548314]

I'm so fucking depressed. The Pills don't do anything for me; I'm afraid of quitting them in case that isn't true though. Stuck in a meaningless job, updating the prices of various slabs of granite on websites, nothing that won't be completely automated in five years. it's a family business, or I would have been fired (I've purposefully tried to) for being such a bad employee. Parents want me to conform to their fundamentalist Christian lifestyle or move out, don't think I know how to live on my own. Scared of trying to change my situation and failing and ending up worse off than I was before and having to beg for help with my tail between my legs. I know they'll never let me live that down and I'll never hear the end of it. All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. My whole life is pretty much escapism, try to spend every waking moment in front of some screen so I don't have to think about my future. Thought I was trans for a year and a half and talked to a doctor about it, turns out it was just more escapist fantasies, hated being who I am so much started dissociating from my self and body. I used to do long distance running and that helped, i could turn off my brain and just exist, but i overdid it and permanently injured my knees which really sucks. Not even interested in relationships anymore after dating a single person for a month, just don't like being alone with people. At least I live by a big mall I can walk around during the weekends, it's always fun to see all the different types of people and how happy they look. Sorry, about the long post, really going through a lot

[Anonymous No.12548403]

If I want to be a social media manager should I just kill myself?

[Anonymous No.12548413]

>>12548314
Try doing theater, Anon.

You'll meet creative qt3,14 high energy girl and fall in love. This will make you more ambitious. Bring your A game forward, though. This type of girl has way too many suitors.

Also, I'm happy that you gave up the whole trans mistake. That was a suicide bomb waiting to blow up.

[Anonymous No.12548484]

>>12548413
Maybe, i'll have to try that. Gonna be tough with a voice impediment though

[Anonymous No.12548498]

>>12548484
Just read the God damn script and memorize it.

There are way too many slackers.

[Anonymous No.12548620]

I would kill myself right now but I dont want to sadden my mom. Life is meaningless. The meanings we create is a spook. I want to sleep now and hopefully never wake up again. I wish I was never existed

[Anonymous No.12548650]

>>12548620
Do theater, anon.

Trust me, it's good.

[Anonymous No.12549203]

If I have a weird time separating reality and fiction do I have autism?

[Anonymous No.12549232]

>>12544921
I don't know if this is serious or not but if it is I appreciate it.

[Anonymous No.12549401]

Every day is a bigger cope.

[Anonymous No.12549419]

>>12549203
Reality does not exist anon.

It's just a fiction that the jews come up with.

[Anonymous No.12550170]

>>12542310
what is it like reading on psychedelics?

[Anonymous No.12550286]

>>12550170
I can't read unless I'm sober, I just revisit the books I haven't finished the day after
For what it's worth I have heard anons rave about reading during the comedown of an lsd trip

[Anonymous No.12550414]

>>12541378
I started playing Pokémon Go again, it makes me happy whenever I find a good statted Pokémon.

I’m trying to learn to accept myself, but I’m not really sure what that means. Also the idea of self reflection or introspection, does that just mean talking to myself? It all seems strange, I always have a much easier time talking through my problems if I think someone is listening. I might go see a therapist. I don’t think I’m depressed or something like that, I just don’t think I’ve told the truth in a while

[Anonymous No.12550427]

>>12544921
You like his poetry just like some people like Rupi Kaur poetry.

[Anonymous No.12550437]

>>12548213
Depends on where he lives. Bad idea either way.

[Anonymous No.12551033]

i am just irredeemably lazy. every so often i work hard, and i think wow if i worked like this everyday i could accomplish a bunch of shit, but then i'm lazy for the next two days. it must have been so rad to be a calvinist where u have to work super hard every day or literally go to hell. then again being on your deathbed knowing you wasted your potential by being a lazy shit, is sort of similar. need to get some memento mori ass artwork for my living space.

[Anonymous No.12551046]

I keep dreaming that I'm in other people's dreams, since childhood, but recently these dreams are becoming more anxious. Another dreamer kept trying to get my real life info. They were asking for my real name, not the character I was dreaming myself as. This is just my brain making stuff up, right guys?

[Anonymous No.12551057]

>>12551046
Noone knows. Consensus of contemporary westerns society seems like dreams don't mean anything other than what's in your brain.

[Anonymous No.12551068]

>>12551046
>tfw I try to stalk people I meet in my dreams in real life
>I'll sneak a glance at their dream accounts and google if their usernames are used in real life
>tfw never have I ever found the username of someone in my dreams to be used with someone IRL
At least I know a solid way to get cool usernames without worrying that they've been taken.
There was once a case where I talked to someone on /x/ who recognized me and I recognized him from our dreams but who knows.

[Anonymous No.12551356]

Everyone is separated, living apart. Why not consolidate living
situations? Does everyone need their own home? To be apart and
alone? Our family is dying in solitude, left alone on the path to
the grave. People want their space but when the end comes we regret
all the time not spent together. Why this vast distance between
everyone? Is all this worry in my head? Projection? I don't know
how they fill their time because we don't talk. I can change that, I
can start communicating.

[Anonymous No.12551376]

>>12551356
People live with their families, don't they?

[Anonymous No.12551411]

>>12551356
>tfw havent spoken with my sister who lives in the same house in 6 daays

[Anonymous No.12551415]

>>12551411
I guess this is what people mean when they talk about the decline of trad culture.

[Anonymous No.12551463]

>>12551415
i agree but i dont think it's liberalism or whatever else. technology is the main culprit i would say. im really going to try to change this though, its fucking sad.

[Anonymous No.12551601]

>>12551415

There's no such thing as traditional culture. It's all marketing and propaganda. Seriously. Fuck. Nothing is real it's all bullshit.

[Anonymous No.12551677]

Uni started again and all my previous excitement seems to have dried up. It seems like a waste of time and I would be happier working instead of studying, but in my country anyone without a diploma is usually stuck bellow the poverty line. To make matters worse, I’ll have to give up the thing I’ve been enjoying the most because it conflicts with my course schedule.

[Anonymous No.12551755]

Have you made somebody smile today?

[Anonymous No.12551950]

>>12549401
How bad are things, really

[Anonymous No.12551959]

I wish people would understand that art is about expression and not necessarily precision.

[Anonymous No.12552340]

>>12548010
this happened to me twice in last two months, feels fkn terrible mane

[Anonymous No.12552399]

How can a company survive for decades while shooting itself in the foot repeatedly? It boggles the mind

[Anonymous No.12552405]

>>12552399
t. former GM employee

[Anonymous No.12552464]

Why work, fuck I want to read and shitpost all life. I don't want kids. Sex is ok but not too often.

[Anonymous No.12552633]

>>12544398
add your waifu on Goodreads

[Anonymous No.12552643]

everyone on this god forsaken board rejects me

i want to master philosophy and literature for the whole sake of humilliating each piece of human trash inhabitting this board, but then i see how that conflicts with my pacific nature and lose that spark of rage

i want to make you all feel as if your lives are worthless trash by venomously using sophistry to ridicule your worldviews

[Anonymous No.12552649]

When I masturbate regularly, I become very lethargic and unable to accomplish much. When I don't, I just get leg-numbingly aroused all the time and accomplish even less since I can't think of anything besides ways to have sex with beautiful women.
I wonder whether I'll have to find a solution or if I'll just have to wait.

[Anonymous No.12553012]

Obsessively try to correct everything, but accomplish nothing other than weakly suppressed butthurt in the process. I’m turning into a bitter old man in real time.

Oh well at least there’s always you pornhub... is this really where I wanted to be ten years later?

[Anonymous No.12553078]

I'm now heavily leaning towards staying in Japan for one year instead of two for several reasons. First because I feel one year is more than enough time to see and experience everything I want to do in this country. Second because there are several hassles to life here that I don't think I can get used to and can put up with for just one year but probably not for much longer beyond that. Third because it's nice to be close to friends and family, and the things you're used to back home and moving to the other side of the world has given me a greater appreciation of them. Though I love traveling to other countries, one year is more than enough time to be away from home. Fourth because I need to figure out what I could do for a job back in the states and staying here a second year just seems like it'd do nothing but put that off.

Not that I regret coming here at all. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of the year here and getting to know the country and discovering everything I can about it. In fact, I feel as though I've grown and matured a great amount in the short two months I've been here already. There are also maybe 2 or 3 other countries I might like to live in for a while at some point in my life but that's for to worry about at some later point in the future.

[Anonymous No.12553114]

>>12544261
worked for me

[Anonymous No.12553144]

>>12541378
I just want my goddamn wife and kids and picket fence like America promised me. I even found The One, but we both have to work and spend a lot of time apart, and I'm so scared one random day something will happen and she'll be taken from me, either by another guy, or a car accident or some other act of God. Not having a certain future is awful.

[Anonymous No.12553152]

Some guy just publicly said my "cloying prose made him wretch". Should I seek revenge?

[Anonymous No.12553338]

>>12550414
Do you want to be friends and exchange gifts? I'm pretty into it when I have to go outside.

Accepting yourself is a complicated process that's different for each person and it weighs heavily on confronting your insecurities. Therapy helps if you're willing to be honest and follow the advice given otherwise you're wasting your own time. At my worst I'd say my books were the only thing holding me together before I finally sought change. Don't wait until it gets to that point!

[Anonymous No.12553536]

Hours ago I’ve been struck by the idea of changing courses again and can’t take it out of my mind. 21 years old and jobless, what kind of madness came upon me? It was all going fine, untill the moment it wasn’t.

[Anonymous No.12554000]

Was supposed to pick up three co-workers for a carpool this morning. Thought I hit snooze on my alarm clock but accidentally turned it off. Woke two hours late for work. Fuck it. Went back to bed. I'm not even going to get fired because it's a family company. When people are way too forgiving of mistakes, you can't grow from the lack of consequences. Everything about my life just feels fake and meaningless.

[Anonymous No.12554026]

>>12553144
same, if i could get a job that can support a family i'd already by married with kids in a house on the edge of the city, but that's not happening and the clock is ticking, i feel like gotta be this year

[Anonymous No.12554032]

Fucking christ, is this why people become spiteful about women? I'm starting to really lose hope and turning into a resentful person.

Met this girl and started dating her, finally got to the point where we open up about past relationships/experiences. She has one semester of university under her belt, I was under the impression this girl was pretty damn innocent and unexperienced, she grew up in a small town, small high school, you know the whole deal. She hates parties, alcohol, is outdoorsy, likes books, is pretty traditional and loves to cook for me.

But you guessed it, she's already ridden the fucking cock carousel. She's had a bunch of past relationships, hookups, etc. What the actual fuck man. I can't help but think modernity is so utterly FUCKED up. How has this girl, who comes off as completely innocent and acts that way too, had so many fucking guys plow her. I don't understand. Someone please pull me back from the edge.

[Anonymous No.12554066]

>>12553536
this is why i think the sunk cost fallacy is a fallacy, at some point, you have to just accept your path and try to go as far as you can with it, not be too nerdy, but its like when you playing an rpg for the first time, and as you get further into the game you wish you specced differently, but its like you can either start over and keeping going to level ten with every class never getting anywhere, or just be like fuck it, ima try to find a way to minmax this class and just go for it, corny example, or ok, how about those coders (usually immature and easily influenced) who are constantly dumping their codebase and trying to rewrite it in a different fad language, that is always a waste of time, but anything like switching careers, or changing cities, etc. yeah sometimes you have to switch, but this idea that all the time and resources you put into your current trajectory is worthless is fucking wrong, sorry, sunk cost fallacy only applies to investments

[Anonymous No.12554102]

>>12554032
well, she let you plow her didn't she? do u think you're such a stud that you're getting uptight virgins to drop their panties and give it up? really innocent chicks aren't going to fuck you without a long ass commitment which to angsty redpill wankers will feel an awful lot like the "friendzone"

[Anonymous No.12554128]

>>12553144
quick q: did u do anything to do deserve all that? did u get a sensible degree? did you lay off the drugs and alcohol? did you actually work hard at your job? want to have 50s standard of living, you have to live a 50s lifestyle... there were dropout junkies on opioids in the 50s too, read burroughs, even in the 50s you had to work hard (and be white)

[Anonymous No.12554159]

>>12553152
Ask him what goyishe cattle like him would know about that.

[Anonymous No.12554560]

>>12554102
Not yet, but it's going to happen this weekend, and now I'm nervous as fuck because here I was, thinking this girl might even be a virgin, but no she's definitely more experienced than I am.

[Anonymous No.12554646]

>>12546659

You're the reason people can't trust teachers my dude

[Anonymous No.12554686]

>>12553144

This was propaganda meant to enslave.

[Anonymous No.12554712]

>>12554026
The ticking clock thing is accurate, for all kinds of reasons - 20s is peak child conception years from what I understand, maybe early 30s at a stretch. "Feels bad man" is a meme, but it just does.
>>12554128
3rd year of uni with an English/Political Science dual major, and clerking at a drugstore, plus sometimes freelance editing and such when I can get it. No drugs, booze, smoking etc - apart from anything else, can't afford it. Just a shit little town with a bad economy overall.

[Anonymous No.12555198]

>>12554032
I was also surprised by the universal promiscuity of women, and other unsavory aspects of their character. I had planned to get married, and I still might for the purposes of starting a family, but I doubt I can ever love a woman again.

[Anonymous No.12555215]

husband blamed me for being pregnant. Not able to hold heavy grocery bags. Hard to drive in winter day.

[Anonymous No.12555240]

>>12554032
Know that feel. Told someone what I look for in a woman:
>Clean, no tattoos or dyed hair
>Not obese
>No debt
>Wants kids, isn't a single mother
>Preferably virgin, no more five sexual partners at absolute most
>White
They told me that is an extremely high standard and overly sexist

[Anonymous No.12555389]

There once was a man from Ipanema. Actually it was a lizard. The lizard was green, but everyone who looked at it went colour blind. Green was the last colour they ever saw. So they called the green lizard Green the lizard. Eventually the whole world went colour blind. One man, a painter, who liked colours, got upset and grilled the lizard on a stick next to a campfire. He then ate the lizard. The man then went back to Ipanema, because that was where he was from..

----

That is what went through my head when I tried to sleep. Also I think I have some kind or neurosis induced insomnia. I have eye drops I only use when I smoke cannabis. This is the first time I used it without smoking because my eyes are getting fucked.

Whenever I used to see posts like this I thought to myself: "Must suck to be that faggot."

So for the those thinking that reading this, you're time will come, oh yes.

[Anonymous No.12555414]

Gave myself pink eye while attempting self falatio after some shit fell down the wrong way.

[Anonymous No.12555532]

I have a story in my head that I really like, but I can't help but feel the story would be objectively better if I stripped it down to the bare essentials and removed most of the parts I liked about it

Specifically, a lot of the magic and fight scenes and a good portion of the main character's motives

[Anonymous No.12555549]

>>12555532
Just have your characters give their motivations while fighting. It's what they do in anime.

[Anonymous No.12555593]

>>12555549
honestly, I like it as anime but it doesn't need to be anime. it would be better if it wasn't anime.

the non-anime version is a story about accepting death that I believe has the potential to be a children's classic. The anime version is a cluttered mess of plot threads and magic battles

[Anonymous No.12555892]

>>12555240
They're high but it's fine if it's important to you. No debt, no dyed hair, and preferably a virgin rules out the majority of the female population. College is expensive and plenty of people like dying their hair natural colors, so yeah it's going to seem pretty high up to an outsider. Even I don't hit all your marks and I'm one of the most conservative people you'll meet.

[Anonymous No.12556118]

>dreamed I was holding hands and cuddling with my wife while we watched our daughter playing on the floor
>crushing reality that I will never find love let alone touch a woman haunts me for the rest of the day

[Anonymous No.12556124]

Being desired is the worst drug.

[Anonymous No.12556130]

>>12541406
I don't think mycology is a field known for its attractive people.

[Anonymous No.12556134]

Went to go pick up my depression meds today during a blizzard, took me and hour and forty minutes to make the half mile journey. Got stuck three times, the last outside of a public housing development. Some people came out to help me, black people. They were very kind and one even gave me an unexpected bro hug which made this autist kind of uncomfortable. Turns out my parking brake (or ebrake?) was accidentally turned on. I've been on /pol/ a lot lately and this experience really made me realize how much stereotypes don't matter when dealing with individual people. I don't think I'll be going back.
>>12555892
If that seems high you, i should tell you my *high* standards.

[Anonymous No.12556145]

>>12554712
you didn't even finish college yet man lmao what makes you think you won't have the american dream? thats not the greatest major, but its not as bad as stem autists will have you believe

[Anonymous No.12556217]

>>12556134
What are your standards? I think some people have pretty unrealistic expectations but that doesn't make it wrong. It does become a problem when they start holding everyone else responsible for not meeting said expectations.

Glad you were able to see the world a little better after today. Safe travels and I hope things look up for you.

[Anonymous No.12556252]

trying to find an affordable place to live in the city is so sketch

[Anonymous No.12556314]

i'm in a bugman mood i just want to get comfy and watch those 4 hour long lord of the rings extended edition movies , the first hobbit movie was so bad i didn't watch the other two, maybe i should watch them, idk i'm just so tired of everything, need some of that escapist opium

[Anonymous No.12556409]

>>12555215
post feet plx

[Anonymous No.12556441]

>>12556314
The first hobbit movie is a masterpiece compared to the other two, please don't watch them.

[Anonymous No.12556452]

>>12556441
i almost watched the second one but i saw a clip of a scene where some elf is like jumping on platforms like a fucking video game, im like yo if i wanted to watch a hobbit video game i'll go to twitch not watch a movie

[Anonymous No.12556483]

>>12543725
if you hand yourslf you can't regret it, so best option.

[Anonymous No.12556494]

>>12544621
The hardest part is realizing they are people around you who actually want, try and achieve things.

Best thing you could do is fall in love, mary and support one of those persons.

[Anonymous No.12556501]

these cheap socks i got from the gap make my feet smell like shit, shoulda coughed up the dough to get some falke socks

[Anonymous No.12556518]

think this would be an asspull?

>story is a self-contained reflection on mortality about a boy who falls into what he thinks is the world of the dead but is in fact a post-apocalyptic zombie world beneath the earth
>It ends with him escaping back to the surface with a handful of survivors
>book two quickly reveals the world they escaped to is actually a robot apocalypse world

[Anonymous No.12556528]

>>12544660
Basically all of my life. Nothing traumatic but I'm a pathological coward who loates cowardice.

My advice would be to not do what we've just both done here: labeling yourself as "awful" or "coward" and feeling shit for it. Absolutely counterproductive, and a good excuse to do nothing.

Tell yourself you are the sum of your actions (not true but true enough, and helpful), or better, stop worrying about what you are, ask yourself "what should I/do I want to do ?".

Next time you see someone bullied remember you'll regret not acting, and act accordingly.

[Anonymous No.12556534]

>>12555389
I really, really liked your story about the lizard. I do hope you get published at some point and causality brings your writings to my hands.

[Anonymous No.12556563]

>>12545836
Don't do normie conversation, even normies find it boring. With your unconventional interests, taking your cues from famous dandies, humorists and stage magicians, you could become a charming and entertaining person that people like to have at parties even though they find you strange and don't trust you.

[Anonymous No.12556574]

>>12545981
You should talk to it with someone, perhaps even a priest or a professional therapist. Will relieve the burden tremendously.

[Anonymous No.12556604]

>>12546407
Research more and from different sources. Hundreds of historians have investigated the subject, very few deny the holocaust and those who do aren't the most rigorous guy (actually the most rigorous deniers started as a historian because he was dubious of the whole thing, but he had to change gear in the face of evidence and begrundgingly admit it happened).

> I'm also becoming slightly antisemitic.

There's no reason it should happen as part of historical research, unless the source you've been using are ideologically slanted in that direction. That should tell you enough.

In another thread anon recommended Deborah Lipstadt as an historian that's so autistically committed to respect and understanding of historical sources it's almost a meme.

[Anonymous No.12556605]

>>12543748
it is time for me to wake up from this dream...

it is sad but lo and behold i am creating a brand new dream just for me and me alone.

[Anonymous No.12556612]

>>12556518
You again, my man? I already told you this is the kind of idea that can make you a gazillionaire, although you should go balls to the wall on the sequel, using a lot of the conflicting apocalypses mentioned on a previous thread.

t. autist who keeps talking about boxing.

[Anonymous No.12556637]

>>12546659
Something similar happened to me (same age difference) but not much happened and most importantly she wasn't my student. Yet I'm ashamed enough of it (even a bt guilty, though I didn't harm her in any way).

I suggest you abstain unless you have pretty strong feelings about your relationship lasting long years.

[Anonymous No.12556644]

>>12547041
As a scientist I have to agree.

[Anonymous No.12556685]

>>12552399
Inertia. Our social structure ain't that efficient, hence why failure-inducing problems can subsist for decades in the same company.

[Anonymous No.12556694]

>>12552643
Sounds like he typical anon. Please make yourself at home.

Don't expect much from us however, we're used to it.

Also we didn't reject you anon. We love you as our brother in moronic impotence. But as you are so much like us, so we hurt you as we wish to hurt ourselves.

[Anonymous No.12556703]

>>12556118
>anons who use images of Ryan Gosling in Bladerunner when talking about unattainable women

pathetic desu

[Anonymous No.12556734]

I had a dream I received a picture book in the mail. A picture book about rocks, very slim and one of those tall books. Supposedly I ordered it on-line, no idea what that was about, but the book wasn't half bad, lots of shiny rocks.

[Anonymous No.12556740]

>>12556604
I don't know about that, there is so much obviously fake information out about the Holocaust that I have a hard time believing any primary sources; ie hundreds of SS guards giving confession while all having identical precise cuts on their genitals, authors confessing that they made up stories about their imprisonments, hospital and maternity wards in death camps, transfer between alleged death camp (how does that make any sense?), wooden doors on gas Chambers, the list goes on.

About the anti-Semitism. We know that the IDF uses mass produced and immediately available pornography to control the Palestinian population, why would you not make a connection to pornhub being openly controlled by Jews? Or most open border legislation being instigated by jews? There are way, way too many coincidences that you would have to ignore to come to the conclusion that Jews aren't intentionally trying to undermine western Civilization

[Anonymous No.12556756]

>>12556612
it's my nature to doubt everything

[Anonymous No.12556765]

When I try to write my novel, I go to sleep and have dreams where I'm being fucked by my characters. It doesn't matter whether or not they're female or male, I'm always the bottom. I feel my body burn in lust while they dominate me and edge me on while I'm bound and unable to push myself away. I'm not very lucid when I dream so I don't even know how to get away from their grasp. They just keep fondling me, kissing me, and sometimes my body moves on its own and I force myself onto my characters. Then, when I wake up, I don't want to write anything about these characters because I saw them in a sullen form, a disgusting and terrible visual, where we engage in the worst sins imaginable.
The pale, nymph-like virginal character? My dreams warped her into a lusting forceful succubus. The agoraphobic hyperreligious maniac who appears sadistic but only wants what he considers best for humanity? He's a kind and sweet lover. The brazen and headstrong go-getter? Passionate and fierce with the ability to make my body wake up in spasms of heat and euphoria. Along with that in my dreams, I can find no solitude, no refuge from the world around me, all these evil forces grabbing my body, forcing me into these sinful deeds, allowing me to experience love when I have no real interest in it in my daily waking life. I don't want these people to be real. They're all in my head. Yet occasionally I'll fall asleep to the sounds of children from the abyss of my mind, reaching out with their grimy little hands, clawing themselves out of my subconscious as if they're calling for me. Calling for me to join them, to experience what life is like not being in the solitude I've gotten so used to. Dragging me below like a kraken until I'm drowning in the insanity and the voices of the hivemind that connects all of humanity.
I don't want this. Leave me alone, demons. How dare you corrupt my fictional characters, practically my children, my only friends, with your fiendish evil.

[Anonymous No.12556780]

>>12554032
Are you seriously sperging that hard because a 18-19 girls that seemed innocent turned out not to be a complete virgin ? Is this the level of self-awareness and maturity you've achieved at this point in your life ?

Just reread your post ffs. With the two first paragraphs I was exepecting something serious like she's a former porn actress or has STD or has cucked you or whatever. Nope, it turns out you're simply you're not her first ride, or even her third, what does it matter. People have sex, it's part of life, barring illnesses it's even relatively clean nowadays.

As a wise anon once put it

>at some point you'll have to grow up, and accept that other people have sex lives and that you are not your country's national deflowerer

Ahd whatever you may believe that kind of situation was extremely common even in more "traditional" eras. So you're not only lacking maturity but also awareness of history. I suggest reading more and consuming social media less.

TL;DR: You're crying over a non-issue, get over yourself

[Anonymous No.12556801]

>>12556780
>Who could be behind this post?

[Anonymous No.12556805]

>>12553144
>believe in a 50's consumerist lie
>even though the economic conditions for it only existed in a window of time no larger than 50 years and have all but disappeared now

Is it how the famed bluepill looks like ? Sriously anon american TV is giving you brain damage.

[Anonymous No.12556824]

>>12555240
To each his own, but yeah it seems most your "standard" derive from the fact that yout think girls who indulge in harmless pleasures are tainted or something. So what they told you is not too off-mark.

As long as you make yourself worthy of those standards, it should be ok.

[Anonymous No.12556831]

Is it possible to kill irony and sarcasm as the default form of communication?

[Anonymous No.12556840]

i was watching some random stupid video on youtube yesterday and there was this song that played for five seconds. i knew that song. i looked up the lyrics and it was the dark is risiging by mercury rev. mercury rev? i knew that band. so i started to listen to some of their songs and i found out i knew like six of them by heart. it annoys me that i completely forgot that this band and those songs even existed but i still remembered perfectly the lyrics.

i recommend it, pretty good band.

[Anonymous No.12556841]

>>12548314
You'll figure out how to live on your own if you just grab your balls and take the plunge.

I got kicked out, but a year later I have a good, mutually beneficial financial relationship with a family I'm housing with.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. More people than you realize will reach out to you.

[Anonymous No.12556843]

>>12555240
If you're into orthodox jews you won't have too much problem finding someone like that.

[Anonymous No.12556851]

>>12548413
Transing is good for those who need it. You just shouldn't take it lightly or be a twat about it to other people.

t. Degen tranny

[Anonymous No.12556861]

>>12555892
You don't seem that conservative tbch. About half my female cousins were up to anon standards (before their marriage) and I live in one of the most degenerate capitals on earth.

[Anonymous No.12556885]

Space niggas like in those ayy lmao memes. They have laser pistols and wear cowboy hats. You walk up to them and say, hey, that's a ten gallon hat, and he says USA USA USA like when phelps swims at the olympics. They don't have spaceships or anything because they're broke from all the space weed, but they have the cool guns though. Pew pew, said the first space nigga; fuck, you done killed me said the other as he was dying. Then the first space nigga buries him with the gun to hide the evidence, and that's about it for space niggas part 1.

[Anonymous No.12556895]

>>12541378
>>12556134
Pretty heartwarming story anon. You're right, /pol/ is a nest of snakes. Even if half the post are ironic, what kind of person spends hours a day berating people they absolutely don't know with meme infographics ? Truly a waste of time and potential. Strive for higher thinking, read Dante.

I wish you strength against the depression, it's a hard fight, and it's actually pretty common among humans, so don't be ashamed.

[Anonymous No.12556901]

>>12556885
space niggas part 2 fucking when

[Anonymous No.12556921]

>>12556885
yo did u ever see "brotha from anotha planet" peep it brah

[Anonymous No.12557059]

i use noscript captcha and i like to try guessing which images they want me to find without reading the question at the top of the box. i think i'm getting pretty good at it.

[Anonymous No.12557119]

1/2

>>12556740
You bring interesting. The first I should say is that history is complicated, in any big enough event there will be contadictory even, but you have to see how the solid weights compared to the dubious.

For instance do you believe in the purges under Stalin, and who do you think is primarily responsible for them ? After all there were a lot of frabricated document and forced confession in that era (and it could go both sides since not only the Russians, but also the CIA could be tempted played with evidence). And there controversy about wether Krouchtchev, who was the first to expose the purges, was actually the main responsible and blamed Staline to cover his ass.

This is just an example to show it's not surprising to have contradictory accounts, and it's good (even necessary) to have doubt, but it has to be commensurate with the level and general consistency (or lack thereof) of the evidence.

> ie hundreds of SS guards giving confession while all having identical precise cuts on their genitals
> wooden doors on gas Chambers

Those two seem indeed fishy, though not necessarily an indication that there was no attempt at genocide. Where did you get them from, and when were there produced ?

> transfer between alleged death camp (how does that make any sense?)

Remember they were not not only death camps but concentration camps were people did forced labor, particularly towards the end of the war, as nazi germany could less and less afford to squander workforce. Primo Levi even mentionned he was lucky to get taken in 1941 at a time when able-bodied men were not so easily sent to the chambers. Camps dedicaed only to extermination were rarer, the only example I know of is Treblinka. If you wonder why we get less testimonies from those "pure death" camps, that's precisely because people were much less likely to come out of them alive. We still have a few account from Sonderkommandos who managed to get out though.

I have myself no settled opinion about it, and perhaps I don't care that much since the incarceration part and the fact that millions died is pretty much uncontroversial and should be enough for a lay person.

>hospital and maternity wards in death camps

It's not o surprising there would be infirmaries of some sort if some of the prisoners were expected to work. Maternities are more surprising, it'd be good to know what the prisoners and captors said about this.

>authors confessing that they made up stories about their imprisonments

You can expect people to jump on any bandwagon that will allow them to receive attention and compassion. You have to look at testimonies (not only confessions, the whole body of available testimonies, and gather others if you can) and see how much of it hold up.

[Anonymous No.12557138]

2/2

FWIW I despise the sentimental industry of tear-jerking that's emerged from milking up the Holocaust, except for those who make money off it it benefits nobody, least of ll the historians. You have to look past those people and talk to the real historians.


>>12556740
>We know that the IDF uses mass produced and immediately available pornography to control the Palestinian population

Never heard of anything like it despite many conversations with people from /pol/ so I'll have to be a bit doubtful about this. I wouldn't put that kind of dirty tricks past Tsahal of course, army are gonna be armies, but it still seems a stretch (and besides that how do you even "control" an hostile population with pornography ?).


> why would you not make a connection to pornhub being openly controlled by Jews?

Why would you, or more precisey what would you consider that connection factual (I can make connections with anything, but they're not substantial most of the time) ? That seems like quite a jump, even though it is of course not impossible. This is not just about ideology, but more about methodology, how do you convincingly tie those two statements assuming both are etablished ?


>There are way, way too many coincidences that you would have to ignore to come to the conclusion that Jews aren't intentionally trying to undermine western Civilization

This is the biggest jump of them all. Not to mention "Jews" as a group is not so well-defined that you'd imagine, and that if it can be defined at all, by and large it's a groupe that has mostly benefitted from being part of "Western Civilization" (again, depends on where you draw the borders) and has little interest in destroying it.

Your answer mostly confirmes the impression I had. You should be wary of the internet (particularly the echo chambers were people are pushing a narrative, one way or another) and try to contact people who actually investigated the matter.

[Anonymous No.12557147]

>>12557119

>>12557138

3/2

Disregard this, I suck cocks.

[Anonymous No.12557164]

>>12557138

> assuming both are etablished
I messed up, meant to write "assuming the first is established"

[Anonymous No.12557165]

i hate the lack of permanence in things. not particularly death - which i've already made my peace with and don't really care about - but things in life. i feel like a wild, neurotic idiot, but i constantly am worrying about everything i own going up in flames fight club style. it makes me cycle between wanting to get rid of it all and go live in a monastery and be an ascetic, and equating my life to living on hardcore ironman mode and only having rights to things as long as i have the means to protect them. america has the idea of "property", but that won't really stop anyone from fucking with you, including the government even.
i'm not even particularly materialistic, my apartment is very sparse and even my only friend who doesn't give a shit about this sort of thing said "wow, holy shit" when he saw how austere and barren it was. i just don't like the idea of losing what little i do choose to have.
this goes for notebooks too, i feel very naked writing down my thoughts in them since anyone can just pick it up and piece through it. i don't particularly trust my computer enough to write there either. plus, if my notebook went missing, there goes years of thoughts, ideas, everything.
i don't know why i'm like this really or why i can't break out of this seemingly benign thought loop, but it's really been bothering me for a lot of my life. people just thought i was a clean freak or had ocd or something, but i'm really just preparing for the time all my shit gets fucked. everything in its place.

[Anonymous No.12557175]

>>12557164
it's alright anon, nobody will read your post anyway.

[Anonymous No.12557176]

>>12557147
>le classic faggot meme

I suppose not much is on your mind really

[Anonymous No.12557181]

>>12557176
yes, sucking cocks.

[Anonymous No.12557196]

>>12557175
You're probably right. Was useful for organizing my own thoughts though. /lit/ is pretty much an echo chamber for practice writing.

>>12557165
Its a form of wisdom anon, if a rather baneful one. Bu think about this: if you don't care about death, the loss of life, should you really care about the loss of something that belongs to you ?

It's not like you life will be ruined if you lost that notebook for instance. If the thoughts in it are so important you can probably make something of them, like applying them or writing them in a "real" book.

If they're not so important it matters even less.

[Anonymous No.12557204]

i'm so horny and lonely fuuuck

[Anonymous No.12557213]

>>12557204
so jack off

[Anonymous No.12557293]

>>12557196
i've come to this conclusion a few times, but all it did was lead me to feeling weighed down. if it's unimportant, i don't want it, so i throw almost everything i own out. this has happened several times. i have no idea if it's brought on during atypical mental states or what, but it's very annoying, though i do feel freer for the first month or so after.

[Anonymous No.12557348]

I cannot escape from the idea that sociopaths are basically perfect human beings, compassion is for the weak, compassion is a mental illness, compassion is an evolutionary defect, that the only things that matter are war and domination. Being as sensitive as I am I know I am utter subhuman garbage by the standards of life and the universe

This all started when I discovered evopsych and PUA writings as a teenager and hit a peak after reading icycalm at 16 or 17. I've been living a nightmare in my head ever since

[Anonymous No.12557370]

>>12557348
it's true, not super sociopaths that like murder people and rack up tons of debt by being totally careless with finances, but to be successful you definitely have to be self-centered, which is why so many chinese have felt their is a "bamboo ceiling" in the valley, you really have to be able to promote yourself and be willing to take credit for other's work, as well as ditch failing projects etc. with no shame to get ahead, also ppl with gf always self-centered no wanna be a with a dude who puts other people ahead of himself, and by being with him you get to ride his coattails, thats reality, accept it or be angsty

[Anonymous No.12557374]

>>12556861
I don't think having a lot of college debt right out of school makes me less conservative. I ended up paying it all off with my first year of salary anyways.

[Anonymous No.12557518]

Bellefleur's quim bore odorous palette of gutter's spilling flood and silt. Her gutter gushed and sprayed my quilt.
Must ye mist..
Filou...

[Anonymous No.12557530]

>>12541378
A great deal of artistic works are just masturbation material for the author.

[Anonymous No.12557596]

I just finished reading The Underground Railroad, and it has reaffirmed my belief that ALL literary awards are bullshit and shouldn't exist.

[Anonymous No.12557668]

oh shit i forgot its fuckin thursday night new releases on apple music better be something good

[Anonymous No.12557679]

>>12557668
lmao this shit hit the top 50 on apple music trending releases, he do be goin ham on the harpsichord tho like damn dude

[Anonymous No.12557687]

>>12557530
Name anything humans do besides survive that isn't masturbatory.

[Anonymous No.12558205]

I seriously feel like shit right now and I am not entirely sure why. I just feel like shit mentally.

[Anonymous No.12558369]

I spent 20 minutes looking for a lighter and found one. An old Jetlite. I'm gonna smoke my Pall-mall now. Also, I love my best friend so much, she makes everything feel okay. I've been feverish but also in a bad place mentally and opening up to somebody makes the big things seem like nothing. They're all little things.

[Anonymous No.12558473]

>>12558205
go bang a girl

[Anonymous No.12558499]

I need to take a shit somewhat badly

[Anonymous No.12558543]

A lot of people dislike me when they first meet me, because I'm pretentious. I felt bad about this, but then i realized is dislike them too.

[Anonymous No.12558564]

>>12558543
you should bang them

[Anonymous No.12558605]

Taking a shit om company time om out of ketamine so om gonna have to alliviate My pains by playing videogames and being an ass on the internet also fuck you guys npc fucking shits cant utter a single sentence without it already having passed the digestive system of a millions retards in the ether when will i have scilence must the beast with seven mouths scream so loud cant wait until the seventh seal is broken and there is quite in heaven i will fucking murder you

[Anonymous No.12558632]

>>12556534
T-thanks fren.

I'm working on an outline for a short story as we speak. I'm a bit apprehensive since I'm a /lit/let and very new to this writing interest, so I'm trying not get ahead of myself with thoughts of publishing, just trying to focus on writing.

I'll probably just end up posting it here so all the nice friendly anons can rip it to shreds.

If you want to keep an eye out for it, the story will be about a serial killer that targets marketing and advertising executives.

[Anonymous No.12558640]

>>12558369
I choked out ur friend while we fukd she dumb as shit and so are you

[Anonymous No.12558694]

I want to live in Anglo country, studying lingustics and be genuinely happy with my life but the faith is keeping me in this Slavic hellhole as nurse's ass cleaner. If nothing will change after 5 years for a better I will kill myself

[Anonymous No.12558996]

The will to life...love and it's impulses.. it's real and it's our only hope

[Anonymous No.12559044]

>>12558543
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
>Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder with a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
>Therapy is often difficult, as people with the disorder frequently do not consider themselves to have a problem.
>Moreover, the person with narcissistic personality disorder usually exhibits a fragile ego (self-concept), intolerance of criticism, and a tendency to belittle others in order to validate their own superiority.
>Also inherent in this process are the defense mechanisms of denial, idealization and devaluation.

That'll be 200 neetbux for the consultation. I accept payment in rare pepes.

[Anonymous No.12559048]

So I guess self-discipline is this thing where you have to work at it to accomplish life.
Wish I had known that back in the day. Beats the hell out of "positive thinking"

t. failure

[Anonymous No.12559138]

>>12556801
>>12555198
>>12555240

Glad I wasn't the only one. I want to get married too, I want a family, and lots of children, I feel so strongly like that's my obligation. But over the last year or so, as I've actually started dating and getting to know a lot more women, I'm getting more and more disgusted with them.

Even the shit I've heard from my cousins makes me cringe: fucking her teaching assistant while still in a relationship, another cheating on her long-term boyfriend while abroad. Just goes to show how nonchalance they are about these things that I even hear about them at all. So much for being raised properly, it just doesn't matter anymore, the universal promiscuity takes them all eventually.

[Anonymous No.12559193]

>>12556217
These are more ideals, even I don't necessarily live up to them
>Reads a lot, not YA books
>Vegetarian
>Likes hour long or longer walks
>Isn't religious
>Or a progressive
>Doesn't want electronic media in the house
>Had depression
>Dislikes sex
I don't think this person exists

[Anonymous No.12559250]

>>12556130
Attractive people don’t have to worry about the stigma attached to fringe interests. They will be seen as creative and quirky. Not ugly people. They have to hide all personality and interests that may deviate even slightly from the norm. If not, then they’re creepy and weird.

[Anonymous No.12559765]

>>12559193
That's not so bad, some of them seem like they'd be good goals to have. How much time do you spend reading each day?

If it makes you feel better, I hit most of these things minus depression and not keeping electronic media in the house. I'm sure there are others who come even closer or would be willing to compromise to reach that ideal.

>>12559250
Attractive or not you're weird if you deviate from what's considered normal and it's not creepy unless you make people uncomfortable.

[Anonymous No.12559830]

I am being made fun of in computer

[Anonymous No.12559864]

so tired man hate my life but ive fallen into this comfortable lotus eating as the years fly by

[Anonymous No.12560230]

>>12546407

Anne Frank would be pregnant if the South had won the Civil War.

[Anonymous No.12560695]

I've got mine, oh I've got mine

[Anonymous No.12560871]

I began to deeply wish I was a woman. Maybe I'm romanticizing, but everything about the female just seems more beautiful to me. I'm jealous of how it's acceptable for them to be so intensely emotional and sensitive, how close and loving they can get with friends, and I feel distorted if I behave in the same way with the form I was given in this life which is impossible to change.

[Anonymous No.12560978]

>>12560871
You can do all those things as a man as well, maybe you need better friends. My friend is dating a guy that's probably more emotional and sensitive than her and it's been really good for both of them.

[Anonymous No.12561005]

>>12560871
They are insensitive in a different way.

[Anonymous No.12561007]

I don't know who I am despite being in my late 20s. All my "me" is just from capitalism and what I consume and what is marketed to me. I am a hollow shell with trinkets and baubles. I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous No.12561043]

I'm waiting to hear back about a job interview (which I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna get). I've been unemployed for almost a year now, and if this one doesn't pan out, I might have to try to get back to my old job which is mind-numbingly soul crushing and really fucked with my mental health. I'm really afraid I'm gonna go back there, spiral into depression, and end up trying to hurt myself.

I know you have to make tough decisions and do things you absolutely don't want to do as an adult. It's just that this seems like it's gonna end with a disaster either way.

[Anonymous No.12561264]

>>12558632
>If you want to keep an eye out for it, the story will be about a serial killer that targets marketing and advertising executives.
I'll be sure to. It makes me think of My Work Is Not Yet Done, that Ligotti book about stories of corporate horror. Haven't read it though, so no idea how it is.

>>12558205
Start boxing.

>>12561007
Basically date yourself, as you would with someone you wish to know better. Start doing things and see how they affect your life and make you think and feel; Things like boxing, for example.

[Anonymous No.12561287]

There's something really calming about reading things from/about the Classical era and the Renaissance. There's a clarity and straightforwardness to it that soothes my neurotic post-modern brain

[Anonymous No.12561604]

>>12548403

Someone answer me. I am considering it.

[Anonymous No.12561608]

>>12541378
I know deep down I have the potential and to be a fantastic writer but I am unbelievably lazy when it comes to almost any intellectual pursuits. I have great discipline and motivation in all other areas of my life (exercise, healthy eating, maintaining social bonds) but I just can't find the will to sit down and write, or even read anymore. I just need to force myself and then the habit will make itself I guess.

[Anonymous No.12561728]

>>12548403
>>12561604
i'd probably like corporate social media accounts more if they were run by people from 4chan, if only for the lulz. go ahead, mate

[Anonymous No.12562145]

I'm studying psychology and I have figured out an amazing ideas for projects and future research. Gonna take a lot of work and I'm gonna have to develop this idea more before I know excactly how I wanna go about this.

>what is it?

a secret

[Anonymous No.12562199]

/catharsis

Today sadness, depression hit me particurally hard and I have beem moody all day.
A few days ago I joined a Discord group of people I'm which I'm too ashamed to admit, but I entered expecting to make some friends, maybe get a romantic partner, but honestly I did not have high expectatives, I was propelled by my curiosity and degeneracy. But when lust fade away, I ended craving for friendship. I quickly realized how much I did not fit, that I did not belong, probably listening to Radiohead isnt a good choice today, but it's so cathartic it eases the pain a little.
I have this thing of mine that, despite being a friendless vrigin, yet somewhat functional man in society, and nobody seems to notice, or care, I dont really care that much which one is the case. These last years I have been trying to reach out to make new friends, but I realized I desire to make true, honest friends, bonding with people that I actually feel a connection and that genuinally care for eachother. I dont enjoy making these brief, vapid, meaningless 'friend' contacts people seems to do all the time, it's not something I'm good at it, it's not honest, it's not genuine, it doesnt come from my soul. Anyways, this wasn't the case with that Discord group and left without a warning, although I checked if someone messaged me asking why I left the group.
Nobody messaged me. Deep inside I expected it, I dont think these people really care, and that it's good that nobody noticed my departure, but that still deepened the hole inside, for nobody really cared, and even though I was trying to convince myself otherwise, turns out I was right, and it hurts so much when you have such low social expectations, yet they turn to be correct. I dont hate people, them, in particular, nor people in general, I actually understand why people act that way, I dont judge, but it still sucks.
The one genuine online friendship I made the last 2 years, with a young troubled femboy, after a bumpy ride, very bumpy ride of emotions, through my, at least what I believe, my advice and guidance, and his own determination, he changed his life for the best, and even got a gf and he's very happy about it, and I'm happy about it, and proud.
But since then, we talk less, and less, at first I ignored it, but days passed, weeks passed, months, and I started to get bothered, upset, we talked and he said I was overreacting and that I should calm down, I did, but also said we should talk again to refresh the oh so special friendship we had, that we both needed so much. Deep inside I knew I was wrong and that nothing would change.

[Anonymous No.12562204]

I was right, days, weeks, months passed, we talked again, same deal, this time I snapped, and snapped pretty bad, I got genuinally angry, because I was deeply saddened and hurt, in fear I'd lost a genuine friend. I got angry because I genuinally care, yet is other special thing that slips from my grip. Same outcome as before, we did a promise we would eventually not keep. I didnt believe it anyways.
Yet again, I was right, third time the charm. I realized the problem is not the boy, it's me. So I started to slowly mentally detaching myself from him, is something I hate because emotionally detaching from people, slowly cutting bonds will inevitably isolate myself from people in the long run, something that I'm avoiding to happen. For my own good sake. I start to detach because at this rate I will become a burden of the young lad, and becoming a burden is the last thing I want, I dont want to be a dead weight, thus, yet again I isolate myself. I'm miserable, but I dont want to make the people around me miserable. It's not right.
While I dont get angry anymore, nor really getting that upset anymore, it feels horrible because I can feel a vacant space in my mind, somewhere it used to be cheerfull, vivid emotions, now it's empty, void, dark, cold; it's depression making itself even more deeper. I'm aware of it, but I cant fight it, or if I can, I have given up, and I hate myself so much for giving up, for being so incompetent, for not meeting my own fucking standarts, how much of a fuck up I possibly can be, how many times I will lie to myself, how many times I will let myself down. How many times I will end proving my inner pessimist right. I hate all of this, I hate myself. I feel dead and more dead inside with every passing day. I can feel it, I try ignore it, but I know it's there, slowly, patiently creeping in the back of my mind.
As much of a miserable fuck I am, I'm not suicidal, or at least I don't feel like it, or maybe I fool myself of it. Irrelevant. The little damming comfort I get, is my family, my parents genuinally care for me, and love me, I have been very lucky to have been raided in the good way, the only exception in so many fucked up kids I meet, that I have been given the mental, and reasoning tools to think and expressing in this way. I'm very thankfull for it.
Damming comfort because, I'm 23 and I feel myself as an underachiever, no friends, no girlfriend ever, still a virgin, failing universitary career, decent and easy going, but low wage job that it's just temporal and that wont carry me through life, yet I'm too lazy and comfortable to leave it. Every year people from my family ask me how I did, and do this year, I say 'I'm doing good'. I lie. At times, when I just stay late playing vydia all night, or the fact I'm still at my parents house. that I never go out with friends in weekends, not even having friends in the first place, I can feel in my parents eyes, I can see it.

[Anonymous No.12562210]

Sadness and disappointment. And that, has to be the most emotionally crushing sensation I have ever concieved. Let down myself is one thing, let down the only 2 people that have raised me, love me and care for me all these years, is another. Doom, and despair; and the two words most fitting for the situation. Doom and Despair. I try my hardest, my best, nor for myself, but for them, for the few people that genuinally care for me, I wont take my own life for as long I have people still counting on me, and if I die, I want to be forgotten, cause nobody grief, nor pain. Everything I do, I do for others; a comforting though is dying protecting the ones I love, a worthy way to go out. But I wont, wont allow myself to take such luxury. It's not my right, nor it's right.
A voice in my head says, 'You're 23, you're still young, stop being such a little bitchfaggot and man the fuck up'. Who would have think that, a though derived from 4chan, being the voice of reason. Amusingly ironic. But then I promptly think, it's normal to be this pathetic, this miserable in such young age? This grief is not just a passing angst, common from adolescense, it's a brooding though and sensation that have been slowly growing through the last years, it's not something transient, it's something real, solid, almost tangible within my mind, it's there to stay. That's not normal, isn't it? Does other younglings suffer this affliction? Relief, I'd feel, if turns out this was the case, and that I'm not special, that I'm just being a little bitch and that I should shut the fuck up and grow a pair.
But years has passed. And it stays, it grows, it beholds, it waits, it's there. I do my best to ignore it, but sometimes I fail. I dont know how to fight it, how to face it, I just dont know how. I need older wisdom. I need guidace.
Also depression is killing any willpower and drive to improve myself, to learn new trades and skills, because deep inside I think I'm 'Doomed', thay nothing will change, no matter how hard I try, it will be the same. Yet, somewhere in my soul, there is this naive, shard of light, hope, delusion if you will, for things to get better. I have yet to prove it possible.

[Anonymous No.12562215]

Anyways, lately have come with lots of ideas for fantasy stories, I got the setting, I got the characters, part of the story, but it's always the biggest problem, I cant come up with original names, specially if that fantasy setting is 'tolkien-eske', trying to not being mediocre and uninspired. I have this race of beastfolk, half beast and half human, and I cant, even to save my own hide, come up with fucking original names because I'm a talentless hack, and it's irking me beyond words, as a matter of fact if I cannot come with original names and denominations, I might just trash the whole story just because of it, which is beyond idiotic, and I'm aware of it. I also abhor it.
I also have this other story pseudo horror, a mix of mediaval fantasy story meets existencial horror, Lovecraft-eske, but I simply lack of the plenty descriptive vocabulary he had, and it's super hard to be awfully descriptive, without being repetitive, specially if you're not a native english speaker. Godamm it.
Lastly, as dumb as it might sound, I'm seriously considering writting down all these feelings, emotions and thoughs on a book. I dont know why, but I feel like I should.

I know this is not /lit/, and probably I'm gonna get banned for it, that's fine, but I needed to write this massive clusterfuck wall of text, catharsis always helps.
I dont expect a response from this, or an actual good response for that matter, but if you have read all this autism, I'm just gonna say: Thank you.

[Anonymous No.12562257]

>>12561728

I honestly hate them but if I could be creative, have fun, and get paid I'd interact with people in the name of a company I feel neutral towards.

I honestly should have applied to one that I actually liked (hobby stuff) which had open applications. I want to make a themed video for it in-universe. I might do it (differently, of course) and send it to another company I like.

Probably not, though. I never do anything.

[Anonymous No.12562317]

>>12543252
absolutely!

[Anonymous No.12562338]

Those jews, capitalists, and commies are gonna fucking pay for what they did to my nation

[Anonymous No.12562343]

>>12562338
Calm down Moldova

[Anonymous No.12562593]

>>12562343
THEY'LL ALL FUCKING PAY

[Anonymous No.12562597]

>>12541378
I hate that butterfly tripfag so much I just want him to die

[Anonymous No.12562603]

>>12562593
Have some wine and chill
https://youtu.be/rrajuEyRLxs

[Anonymous No.12562608]

>>12562597
All tripfags should die. I have been on here 10+ years across several boards. Each one has tripfags that should have their dicks cut off

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12562736]

Hating someone for havin a name is ridiculous
What kind of mental disorder are you clinging to?
If it’s tha bad, you can filter the name. If I were anonymous you see ALL of my posts wether you like it or not

Never had a dick either

[Anonymous No.12562758]

I liked that one /co/trip who posted comics so I didn't have to buy them myself IRL.
I don't read comics anymore though.

[Anonymous No.12562802]

I don't remember being this high in my life. I don't know ho people like potheads could become used to this, I feel like I'm in another plane of existence... I hope I will sleep well and that I won't be followed by to many weird and creepy thoughts.

[Anonymous No.12562822]

schizoid but want to speak

[Anonymous No.12562961]

It would be interesting if an AI was created that became enlightened in the buddhist sense and repeatedly found ways to shut it self off in order to escape the kharmic cycle.

[Anonymous No.12563057]

>>12562802
based lightweight zoomer

[Anonymous No.12563105]

girlfriend of four years and i are in the middle of a protracted breakup

[Anonymous No.12563148]

"yth eeea soouo dae"

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12563184]

>>12563105
Makeup sex time

[Anonymous No.12563195]

>>12543740
I understand you anon. I'm just taking one day at a time, lying to my friends about how I feel, hoping that it'll all eventually sort itself out in the end. Literature and alcohol are the only ways I can cope with the monotone world I live in at university. Wake up at 2pm. Eat lunch at 3. Watch lectures until 6. Drink. Watch more lectures. Make dinner at 8. Drink. Go out. Pass out. Wake up at 2. Repeat.

Honestly, university is a joke. I go to one of the best in the country, yet I still feel like the teaching quality is awful and that we as students ar not pressured to learn anything at all.

Godspeed anon

don't kill yourself pls

[Anonymous No.12563251]

>>12562802
There is a thing called tolerance. When I get high for the first time in a while I think about very morbid shit. I was trying to design a prison built on a coast that would stack inmates in vertical cages with bars for floors, and execute problem inmates on its lowest level by allowing high tide waters to run in through sluicing mechanisms in the walls and floors. I did this for about three hours before I said "holy shit why on earth am I doing this."

But you should hold on to that especially weird and creepy shit and put it in a story

[Anonymous No.12563261]

I'm pissed the art thread got closed.

[Anonymous No.12563335]

I had a sudden spasm in my left hand and now I can hold a fork and eat with it.
I feel as though it's the first step of me becoming ambidextrous.

[Anonymous No.12563342]

>>12563261
>the art thread got closed but that thread about some french thot on a dating site is up

[Anonymous No.12563357]

>Accused murderer spared abortion charge thanks to Cuomo’s new law

now that's what I call progress!

[Anonymous No.12563367]

>>12563357
Good.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.12563424]

>>12563261
That's terrible. There's no respect for board culture anymore.

[Anonymous No.12563517]

I'm fallong in love with a girl that lives across the continent and she feels the same about me. This is terrifying and I don't know how the logistics of it can ever be overcome.

[Anonymous No.12563649]

>>12563517
you're being catfished 99% chance

[Anonymous No.12563659]

>>12563517
yeah this guy >>12563649 is right bruv you better cease contact or you'll wake up one day to find you've made a sizable contribution to Pajeet Jr.'s college fund

[Anonymous No.12563678]

>>12563517
underage detected, end it and go outside

[Anonymous No.12563808]

I'm ready to deconstruct a fuckton of metanarratives. Which one next?

[Anonymous No.12563864]

Why should I care about an afterlife? By its very nature, there is no way of knowing if it exists. It doesn't make any since why anyone would dedicate their lives to the idea that everything would be perfect in another life. What if this is all you get and you spent your life trying to check off boxes to get into a post death resort.

I am not an atheist, I believe in a God. Its not a religious one.The God I believe would ask you why are you waiting for this perfect afterlife? Why can't you make it a part of your life?

[Anonymous No.12563866]

>>12563424
kys tripfag

[Anonymous No.12563917]

I just shaved my asshole and a 2cmx1cm long strip of skin flaked off
What the fuck
How the fuck does that happen
How does skin that large just FLAKE off
It looked like when you peel glue off your skin but it was just actual skin
what the flying fuck
I'm so fucking astounded right now I don't know what to even do or say

[Anonymous No.12563967]

How many posters do you think are on /lit/ right now? This is a slow board and the people who post here write. Its very possible that the only presence on this board at this moment are a few scatter brained individuals posting from thread to thread.

I place my guess at 15 people on this board right now.

[Anonymous No.12564618]

>>12563864
Just wondering -- what compels you to believe in a God, but not an afterlife?

[Anonymous No.12564635]

>>12563057
I wish I was still a teen, but I'm a bit more mature
>>12563251
I have a decent tolerance, I don't how it happened maybe it was because that joint was thick as fuck and I drank before. Anyway, sometimes when I'm stoned I get ideas for cool things to write. I remember one time I went to sleep really high, and after closing my eyes, still awake, I made some kind of trip, where I found the solution for everything (which I don't remember). After that, I started to become anxious and tired and some horrible visions appeared everytime I closed my eyes. It took like 1 hour for sleeping

[Anonymous No.12564640]

I have lost ever good intention I once had. It is hard to find an outlet with which to propel oneself toward a desperate chance of finding sanity. It lingers like a dust mote caught in a ray of light. It is as carefree and unbound by worldly concerns as the particle of dust. But that mote contains your essence, your very all and as quickly as it was found, it is lost.

My immediate concerns are few, they hold more sway over me, but not in the same way my unnamed malaise does. Depression is as good a name as any for it, albeit softened by hypochondriacs and charlatans. Real, depressive peril does not feel like an endless water well, however small in the distance. It is an open doorway into the world one wishes they lived in. The only problem is the intractable nature of one’s legs. No matter the desire, inspiration or need to try, you will not walk into the world of your healing.

You will not step forth and make amends, you will carry it unto death sees fit to release you into the cherished bosom of purgatory, the five star hotel of a mendicant’s release.

With what other illness does idleness of emotions become a deadly symptom? Why do questions and only questions supplant all of my mental computing power? Will an answer ever see fit to grace my mind, and if it does, will it be the right one?

How does one begin to move away from this kind of existence? Can a subtle change to my person constitute any meaningful redirection of the sadness, anger and unrelenting confusion about everything in your life? Does it start by severing all contact to everything you know?

One must do the emotional arithmetic!

- Is happiness, however fleeting, enough to distract me from my other woes?
- Will getting rid of said happiness ease me towards the shores of sanity, or cast me further into the ocean of oblivion?
- Can happiness or even a calming influence be found away from all that you know?
- Will you be better if you do all of this?

I am too afraid to answer even my own metric. I know the answer, truly, my sub and conscious self duking it out for primacy. I know who will win and what the outcome will be in the morning.
Nothing will have changed.

And I will still feel the draw, the same force the moon exerts upon the Earth. It will not regulate the ocean of my mind, it will lash it with Typhoons and drown it, as that is the way to quiet my mind, to drown my soul.

[Anonymous No.12565031]

>>12563967
Only me, you, Pynchon's son.

[Anonymous No.12565079]

bussy blimples

[Anonymous No.12565349]

A dead tibet either by stray bullet or a hit and run. Laughing about later.

[Anonymous No.12565642]

Despite my anguish and uneasiness which the cruel phantasmagoria inflicts on me, I know God loves. I never held a girls hand before because im a loser but yesterday in the dark blanket of darkness, I held hands with a girl who is, to my eyes far more innocent and beautiful than I. The night, which invited a billion lovers to love has granted me courage and it will continue to provide its divine providence to many billion to come. If my leap of faith to hold a girls hand was so pleasurable and joyous, how great must be the love of God for me, and when through God's election and faith, divine love is reciprocated again, how ineffably ecstatic must it be? ..all we need is love in all its forms..

[Anonymous No.12566072]

>>12564618
I went to Catholic schooling and they said that even If you follow all of God's commandments and live a virtuous life, we can only hope that you went to Heaven. This and a number of other trivial grievances led me away from religion, but I never parted from the idea of God.

I have no enmity towards religion, but most of the Bible has lost its sacred impact, especially the Old Testament. The one major exception has been Job. I look to that book more than any other one. In it, God comes down in a whirlwind and rips Job apart for asking what are the rewards for the just. I love it because God does not make a baseless guarantee of eternal life and happiness beyond all imagination. God demands that we find it in our souls to be just for no other reason than that it is just to be so. This is an edict that is impossible for the proud to follow. It requires you to accept that you are entitled to nothing for you good works.

I never said that I did not believe in an afterlife, I simply asked why I should care. Its existence should have no impact on the way I live my life. People who live life like a to-do list to get an eternal reward will one day have to stand in Job's place before the whirlwind.

[Anonymous No.12566255]

>>12563184
she’s agreed to see a therapist and try to go to church more often, she needs heaing, but she is so difficult to deal with, and we’re long distance while she’s finishing school.

she cant legally work bc visa and her parents cant support her, so she is in a tough position and i support her financially, which amplifies my resentment at times

[Anonymous No.12566465]

>>12563866
Imagine being this consisently cryhard over a trip or name poster.

[Anonymous No.12566702]

>Morning's Muse
Muse comes by on morning's sky
Pass the blinds that shield my eyes
She bends my ear to share this verse
And leaves a kiss upon my heart --
Before my chores are set in play
Before Her words are lost in day
I shall see them sealed in ink
To serve as my immortal link

[Anonymous No.12566705]

>>12566666
Get check

[Anonymous No.12566738]

Lost some pictures of my old internet gf today. Never met her in real life, now I have nothing to remember her by. Tears in the rain

[Anonymous No.12566792]

>>12541378
Really it all falls down to nothing in the end. Does the math of existence versus death ever fall in favor of life without faith. I think I want to die. The call of the void is stronger every time I ride the train in the morning... it gets tiring hiding behind the pillars.

[Anonymous No.12566864]

>>12564640
I understand the feeling that there is no way for you to stand up, but you can still ask for help. They can take you from under your arms so you legs are dangling, barely scraping the ground. They won't ask you to walk just yet. First you would need to move your feet, wiggle your toes; feel the blood flow back into parched capillaries. Your soles return to the ground and with the support of a helper you take your first step in a long time. Then, another and even more after that til you walk through the door on your own.

You don't need to walk right now, you need to call out for help.

[Anonymous No.12567150]

ugh the anti-semitic loon is back, i'm out, peace

[Anonymous No.12567309]

Why am I so much more attracted to femboys, twinks, and traps than actual women? What biological mechanism would ever lead to something like this? I'm bisexual, buy only towards extremely feminine males and prefer tomboyish females. Am I just gay? I don't fit the profile being the first son and all.

[Anonymous No.12567322]

>>12567309
Is this a real life attraction or a porn-fetish thing? Have you had sex with many feminine males?

[Anonymous No.12567328]

>>12567322
Real life attraction. I'm still a virgin

[Anonymous No.12567500]

I'm having major surgery in less than three weeks and am losing my mind. I've been dealing with chronic pain for years and am hoping this will finally provide some relief. I had surgery last year, but I got nothing out of it. After I recover, I plan on visiting my hometown and get to meet my mother's biological father. Life can't get worse from here, right?

>>12546407
I recommend reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and some of Primo Levi's books. The holocaust definitely happened. I too hated reading Anne Frank's diary in school. It was heavily edited by her father Otto to make her sound less mature than she actually was.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12567536]

>>12566255
Sucks

[Anonymous No.12567641]

>>12560871
Know that feel. Being a male feels so stifling and you can never really be beautiful in the same way that women are. Kind of wish I was one desu

[Anonymous No.12567653]

>>12563967
I would bet between four and 8 dozen unique daily posters

[Anonymous No.12568687]

I'm gonna take a SHIT right now and then I'll work on my book.

[Anonymous No.12568706]

I think I'll sit here and eat pretzels until I run out of 30 rock episodes or fail out of college

[Anonymous No.12568885]

No wonder people do drugs its such an easy way to be a little optimistic about it all and cope

[Bigschaft von Throbbincock No.12568898]

So thoughts, if you haven't noticed, tend to occur somewhere in your brain. But has anyone actually observed the physical effects of a thought? If you don't experience a physiological sensation when you think you simply don't think at all.

[Anonymous No.12569016]

>>12568898
I've tried to observe the feeling of thinking, it turns out that I just subtly furrow my brow and have learned to associate thinking with that