Who here has self-published something?

[Anonymous No.12505335]

Anybody on this board shat out a book onto Amazon? It's pretty easy to do.

Getting sales is the hard part. I only have one book so far but I'm considering ramping up production to become a real author. The trouble is in selling out. I write dark stuff---cosmic horror, stories about cults, edgy aphorisms, etc. But all the popular genres are just not my thing.

What do?

Also general self-published/aspirations thread.

[Anonymous No.12505371]

>>12505335
I've considered doing this if my short stories don't take off, I've submitted a bunch to SF/F magazines and only had one accepted. No idea how well collections like that sell though, probably terrible.
Post book btw, I'd probably buy a copy if it weren't too steep.

[Anonymous No.12505644]

>>12505335
You can't get sales unless you give copies away and the book is actually good.

[Anonymous No.12505661]

>>12505596
This guy cant stop posting this on lit

[Anonymous No.12505768]

>>12505335
Post it here! at least just an excerpt.You may get known this way.

[Anonymous No.12506278]

If the book is good, send copies to booktubers that review books.

[Anonymous No.12506307]

>>12505768
People are gonna think I'm samefagging but I will do this after I run an errand or two. Also, bump.

[Anonymous No.12506328]

Remember the big money is in vampire erotica.

[Anonymous No.12506678]

bump because I'm interested in doing this

[Anonymous No.12508134]

>>12505768
>>12506307
Here we go. It's a collection of scary stories, inspired mostly by Lovecraft and Ligotti. However, I hate hacks who just copy and paste Lovecraft's deities into their own adjective-heavy works, so I tried to make it my own voice with my own monsters. I still have some qualms with it but I had release it sooner or later. Pretty proud of some of the stuff in there.

Don't want to seem like a spammer so I'm not dropping the amazon link but anyone who is interested in actually reading it can search for it.

[Anonymous No.12508201]

Also ask me anything about the process. I obviously don't know everything but this thread's been relatively stagnant, so I figure I'll try to help any aspiring self-publishers with stuff.

>marketing
I have a friend who is really good at optimizing Amazon keywords, which basically involves a lot of trial and error in trimming off bad keyword selections and replicating good ones. I've also run a bunch of 99 cent promos in ebook magazines, which, while getting me readers, absolutely bled money. I guess horror anthologies aren't hot among those readers. I want to experiment with reddit ads also.
However, my real marketing is going to be primarily free---getting creepypasta youtubers to read stories on their channels with a link to my book or website, and putting the stories on r/nosleep with a link to the website. Might send copies to Lovecraftian blogosphere as well. Any other marketing ideas?

>writing
I don't know, it's writing. I'm on the younger side, and while literate, am not some expert. I've always been told I'm a good writer, but there's a difference between English teachers and the readers of cosmic horror. So I'll just have to see whether I'm any good or not over time from this book and whether it gains traction or acclaim. It's a terrifying feeling.

>selling out
Now that I understand how to do Amazon books, the pressure to write something in a better-selling genre is immense. Anybody else feel like this?

[Anonymous No.12508267]

>>12505371
Also what do you write short stories about?

[Anonymous No.12508295]

>>12508201

i may be interested in publishing something that is quite dark and drug fueled

will that fly for self-publishing on amazon?

[Anonymous No.12508344]

>>12508295
Hmm, I can't tell you that it'll sell. But it might, and you can market it on forums like this, and buy physical copies for yourself, maybe sell them in person somewhere. So no point in not trying.

[Anonymous No.12508374]

>>12505335
https://www.amazon.com/Something-Other-Collection-Horror-Stories-ebook/dp/B07MPB4PCW

So I actually read a bit of your work and I must say, you’re a half-wit. Writing isn't for you. You'll never make it, I'm afraid. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the writing style of an old man. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. Your writing is the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fucking beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for just reading your little free ebook. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left after that trash.

[Anonymous No.12508384]

>>12508344
right on, thank you.

my only worry here is censorship. after that, whatever happens, happens.

[Anonymous No.12508414]

>>12508374
Woah, a copypasta ripped from reddit. That's wild, man.

[Anonymous No.12508440]

>>12508414
He got me though. I'm retarded.

[Anonymous No.12508449]

>>12508440
You are retarded. Stop writing. It sucks. You're embarrassing yourself and hope that isn't your real name you're using.

[Anonymous No.12508471]

>>12508440
Nah, you've already accomplished more than the majority of folk on this board. Chin up, dude. Keep at it, persistence and all that cal. You've already started, don't stop now.

[Anonymous No.12508474]

>>12508449
What do you hate about it? Prose? Plot?

[Anonymous No.12508481]

>>12505335
post your stuff op

[Anonymous No.12508506]

>>12508471
Thanks my dude. I don't actually think I'm retarded, but I know for a fact that my youth and relative inexperience are a hindrance to great writing, so I'm a little self-conscious about the inevitability of sucking for a while. Despite that, I won't get better by writing in a corner forever, so I shat this book into the world.

[Anonymous No.12508543]

Yikes.

[Anonymous No.12508551]

>>12508543
I told you he's crap. Belongs in the loo, the delusional fuck. Really has dreams of making as a writer LOL!

[Anonymous No.12508569]

>>12508543
What do you hate about it? It's very normie-tier, but I threw it together in five minutes based on a template. What should I do?

[Anonymous No.12508582]

>>12508569
I greentexted some text I found cringy
>cynical philosophy nerd
maybe just cut out cynical, it makes you sound like an edgy teenager
>which his perfectionism always tells him it isn't complete
I say delete this

I also recommend deleting the last sentence, doesn't add anything

Those are my thoughts, do what you will with them

[Anonymous No.12508596]

>>12508582
I knew I'd get roasted if I put my stuff on here but hopefully I'd get some tips. Good thoughts, thank you. I will change things to be less awful.

[Anonymous No.12508602]

>>12508543
he cute

[Anonymous No.12508605]

>>12508596
Meh, "less awful" still implies awful, which is only true if you're okay with that. One thing to keep in mind, maybe: does that bio look and sound like one that would belong to a writer of terribly dark, horrific nightmare fuel?

[Anonymous No.12508615]

>>12508605
I operate under the assumption that right now, I will have glaring flaws in any literary ambitions that will fly right under my nose due to my inexperience, and that these will only be corrected by failure.

But you're right. I will change things to be respectable. Of course Amazon Author Central takes ten hours to approve anything, which means my cringe-banner will wave for the remainder of this thread.

>>12508602
thanks y-you t-too

[Anonymous No.12508644]

>>12505335
are you that lovecraft nibba on frogtwitter?

[Anonymous No.12508648]

>>12508644
0HPLovecraft? Is that the account you're talking about? No, but he's interesting.

[Anonymous No.12508650]

>>12508374
Kill yourself tho

[Anonymous No.12508699]

>>12508644
Obviously not. Zero HP Lovecraft is a genuinely talented writer.

[Anonymous No.12508744]

Did you read all five chapters,jacob?
Im the email guy

[Anonymous No.12508793]

Oh,i love you jacob.

[Anonymous No.12508800]

>>12508201
>I have a friend who is really good at optimizing Amazon keywords, which basically involves a lot of trial and error in trimming off bad keyword selections and replicating good ones.
Any tips and tricks relating to this?

[Anonymous No.12508825]

>>12508699
Oh don't you start.

[Anonymous No.12509035]

>>12508569
It's really egotistical and sounds like a "quirky woman" dating profile. Just share some material facts about yourself, like where you live and stuff. Nothing cutsie or too pretentious.

[Anonymous No.12509038]

>>12508699
why you gotta be dick bro? Be constructive

[Anonymous No.12509043]

Hey,i think jacob has a good style and his career might just take off!

[Anonymous No.12509053]

>>12508543
Hey,you sound like john green,man.

You dont want that if you are looking to be approved as a dark writer,also change the picture.
Wear something less uni and don't smile.Maybe wear some sunglasses and don't look straight to the camera.