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/lit/ - Literature

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12449074 No.12449074 [Reply] [Original]

At one point, I had not so bad a writing hand. But then depression chimed in and stayed for years. I browse my past writings and see that I still haven't got back that original hand.
Is it something like I'm not going to get that back again? Is that what depression and self-hating does?

>> No.12449077

>>12449074
read keats, milton, stc, wordsworth and nabokov and it will be okay.

>> No.12449081

>>12449074
Use your depression. Evolve, survive, build something new.

>> No.12449141

>>12449077
so intensive reading will be my way to get back?

>> No.12449150
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12449150

No, he's just cynically recommending his favorite authors because your cybernetic mental defenses are down. Stay safe, one of them is not like the others.

>> No.12449273
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12449273

OP, I was in your situation after quitting writing for three years due to depression, drug addiction, and subsequent sobriety and withdrawal. My brain felt very dull and empty--I was nowhere near as creative as I was at my peak and didn't have the energy to do anything. I also lost my inner monologue for almost a year.

Since then, I've started living healthier, being more active, browsing the internet less (this destroys your attention span and conditions your brain into passive consumption mode rather than active creation mode), reading again, and, slowly, writing again. I'm content for the first time since I was a kid. My imagination is gradually coming back to me and my prose has actually improved and matured over my hiatus and become a little less self-indulgent. The whole "eccentric troubled artist" phase in the brief window after you become fucked-up but are still able to channel that pain outwardly is creative dimes while it lasts but it is by nature short-lived and unsustainable and it will probably drive you to suicide or drug addiction like it did me, and then you won't be able to write shit. If you want to unJUST your writing, you're going to have to start unJUSTing yourself.

>> No.12449328

>>12449273
This OP. Your 'talents' or whatever you want to deem it, is never really 'lost'. Circumstances may bury them deep into dirt, but it's perfectly possible to remove them and gradually reclaim it.

>> No.12449918

My depression and self hatred has driven me to hold on to past writings or to mutilate them and turn them into shit, or I would convince myself that I wrote better than I did back then. It is now that I only write different things. I try not to bother myself with comparisons or capturings. Something about God is in there somewhere, but I don't know so much.

>> No.12449932
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12449932

>>12449273
wholesome stuff. we're all gonna make it

>> No.12450356

Same problem here. The depression (no drugs involved) did not only take my ability to write, it actually lowered my IQ somehow. I finished school as a highly gifted individual. Seven years after I am about as creative and intelligent as the average nigger.