[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

View post   
File: 7 KB, 271x186, hopelessness..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1237616 No.1237616 [Reply] [Original]

He sat back, a sense of complete helplessness descended upon him.
April 4th, 2010
I can find no reason to leave my home. Maybe a movie, $8 is too much to pay. Every movie is available online! A trip to the library would be nice but unnecessary. Every book is available to me! I would like to smoke a cigarette, but I would be subject to severe scrutiny. A marijuana joint would be a better idea. I need to apply to college. The Internet is the place to do this. Is this right for me? Am I willing to pay $100,000 for a degree in being laid off? $100,000 in exchange for misery.
They are always watching me, keeping tabs on my every move. Who are they? I can’t be sure, but they are out there.
I would like to see my girlfriend, but I have no money for fuel. Masturbating to pornography is a more sensible solution.
The only reason I can find for leaving my home is obtaining hard drugs. Actually, this is a very good idea. A needle would help me to relax. A syringe is all I need right now...

>> No.1237620

pretty good writing man, really would like to read more

>> No.1237624

Thanks, I am not satisfied with it, but I felt it was ready for some litizens to bash. I wish I had more , I haven't been writing for a while now.

>> No.1237625

i like the mix of depression and paranoia that usually accompanies heroine abuse, usually people writing about heroine junkies make them seem crazy, like they go around 24/7 twitching and asking for heroine when its so untrue, you really should keep writing man, this could turn into a very interesting story with a little work!

>> No.1237626

Wouldn't smoking marijuana place you under more scrutiny than a cigarette?

>> No.1237627

>>1237626

probably not, since cigarettes are more dangerous from all the cancers associated with it

you cant get cancer from smoking pot because its just a plant! whereas cigarettes are filled with dangerous and toxic chemicals

>> No.1237628

>>1237626
Personally more people scrutinize me for smoking cigarettes than pot. I think societies rejection of tobacco and acceptance of pot is somewhat sickening. Although I smoke pot myself.

>> No.1237631

>>1237628

pot is pretty much accepted by everyone who isnt Conservative, so a good 50% of America and 75% of Europe...

>> No.1237639

>>1237631
I really do like pot a lot, but I think people are becoming too accepting of it. After all it is a drug, and even though it is less harmful then, let's say, heroin, it is still bad. But I mainly put this line in my paragraph to show how easily Americans buy into popular opinion, without thinking for themselves.

>> No.1237641

>>1237627
>you cant get cancer from smoking pot because its just a plant! whereas cigarettes are filled with dangerous and toxic chemicals
I facepalmed so much my head hurts

>> No.1237643
File: 9 KB, 183x275, TyBrax15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1237643

with the internet no one is going to leave their homes, this is the death of profitable business HURR

>> No.1237646

>>1237641

why? studies show that the smoke of marijuana is much much much less harmful than the smoke of cigarettes, for one theres no nicotine marijuana, two theres no tar in marijuana, its all natural thc

>> No.1237644

>>1237641
Yes, I don't know why people think pot is so healthy. Even if it wasn't filled with chemicals you are still filling you're lungs with smoke, but I have to thing that most pot is tampered with.

>> No.1237648

>>1237644
you don't have to smoke a marijuana

>> No.1237649

>>1237639
So americans are sheep because the majority of them disagrees with the government's official opinion on pot?

I guess most people are more accepting of pot because it is less addictive than tobacco and mostly recreationally used.

>> No.1237650

>>1237646
when you smoke a weed like the cigarette there is also tobacca in the weedjoint. i tried it before. it's true

>> No.1237651

>>1237643
No one is saying that. The internet will not be the death of business, however it is making things to easy. You can't deny that it occupies a lot of time that could be better spent.

>> No.1237660

>>1237649
I really don't have a structured argument. People getting hard-on's because they start smoking pot just really bothers me. I don't know why.

>> No.1237714

There isn't a whole lot for me here to be interested in OP. There are no images. The writing is abrupt and plain. No suggestion of anything beyond this as far as story goes. This may accurately represent the experience of a heroin addict but it offers nothing to me as a reader. I can see this developing into something interesting over a much larger span of text. Don't change anything, just come back when you've written more. This would work as an intro, but it can't be judged without more story to back it up.

>> No.1237767

Am I dreaming or is this thread really so idiot filled?

>> No.1237777

>>1237767
now that you're here

>> No.1237780

>>1237714
OP here, I respect your opinion. I am not writing a novel or anything, rather just random excerpts that have a little correlation. This passage is meant to be the main characters thoughts in a diary. I'm not saying I'm better than this, I'm really not that great of a writer, but some of the blandness is intentional.

>> No.1237846

Here is another scene I wrote. It provides a little more context, but it is probably written horribly:
Joel scratched marks into his notebook while lying in the den. It was not a dreary room, but it offered little in the way of compassion. The television was showing an infomercial set at a low volume.
Lucille and David had been sitting with Joel but left room a few moments earlier. Presumably to have a private conversation. They were very unaware of the echo that was reaching the den.
Joel could here there voices from the hallway,” Do not let him live here, you know what he’ll do. You’ll come home and the place may very well be ransacked.”
Lucille responded,” This is why he is the way he is. No help, no support, and no love. You don’t know what is best, and I don’t know why you think you have the right to judge me for taking in a runaway!”
Saliva compiled on David’s forehead.
Joel continued to draw strange marks in his notebook. He was too much aware of the burden he put on those around him. The naivety and ignorance of Lucille and David’s conversation was bothersome.
He wanted to write something, something more, but his ideas were twisted. They were somewhat decent as a thesis, but the bulk of them were nonsensical, lost souls that needn’t be thought too hard about.
He had been bouncing around for a few months now. Moving in with old friends, college roommates, family. Either he was kicked out within a week, or the roommate took in more junk than he did. Addicts are very repugnant. The hypocrisy present in Joel’s thoughts is fully realized, but they cannot be helped. They constantly materialize in his little green notebook.