/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1235239]

Oh looky looky ooky at the whiz-bang candy-colorful all-cartoon animal parade. Look at all the piping panpipe playing kittens in their pastel dresses and the scampering chubby puppies in overalls rolling hoops with sticks. Oh great. Oh wow.

A great big float comes round the street now exploding with candy corn. A big fat elf in a velveteen suit reaches into a sack with a smiley face on it and throws out gobs of sticky sweet chocolate. Oh look now we're all holding caramel apples and jumping up and down. We can't stop dancing the happy dance. I'm so excited. Ooh.

Behind the pink and purple sky sits a roly-poly sun with little yellow arms that sway to and fro as he conducts the music of a gnome-and-dwarf magical tragical marching band. The musical notes are actually flying out from their sousaphones, saxophones, and serpents, and have faces on them, and they're smiling and winking at us. A tubby little cupid shoots heart arrows at all the people who deserve to fall in love. Oh wow what a sight. Nothing else holds my interest.

[Anonymous No.1235240]

Watch your step now or else you'll run into a great big fucking clown with the clowniest clown face a clowny clown clown ever did clown. He gives a purple balloon wiener dog to a little girl in pigtails and a princess dress. She kisses it and it turns into a real wiener dog, and they start playing together, the cuddly chuckling girl with the freckles of gold and the purple wiener dog yapping like two balloons rubbing together. Holy shit. It's so fucking cute they can't stop.

The pink and purple clouds overhead bulge thick and out come these indigo raindrops and they're smashing on every sidewalk and windshield like bags of quarters. Whatever they fall on starts to smile, at first a little and then too much. If you're already smiling then your smile grows bigger than your face. Great big grins on faces that can't handle it. Pink bubbles spurt across the sky and whenever the bubbles touch something it becomes cuter, at first a little and then too much, giggling high-pitched giggles even if it doesn't want to giggle anymore.

The raindrops fall on the dancing kittens and their little kitty grins grow great and broad as they toss madly flowers from their baskets. The bubbles hit the puppies in the overalls and now they bounce and skip like delirious little jumping beans and look now as one of them launches ten feet in the air landing feet-first on a car windshield, and then with a high-pitched chortle and the mad smile of the truly adorable, he raises a golf club high over his head and smashes down hard.

[Anonymous No.1235242]

And now the puppies are everywhere, jumping onto car windshields everywhere and everyone's crashing into everything else and the drivers' smiley smiles go real wide and the kittens with pink fluffy machine guns shoot heart-shaped bullets and all the passengers can do now is mouth, "Ah my God, that is so cute. That is the cutest thing ever." These are the final images they see before they careen into telephone poles.

And now the man in the velveteen suit is covered in velveteen fur himself, and the fur grows over his mouth. Bunny rabbits in red-and-white striped shirts and beanies chuck Molotov cocktails into the store windows. And now the great big clowny clown with the clowniest clown does backflips into the town square followed by an army of a thousand purple wiener dogs all barking like rubber and the sounds and fires are deafening and the purple and pink sky turns a spinning spiral, a great big sunny smiling apocalypse. And we're all smiling too. Even now. And it is the cutest thing ever.

[Anonymous No.1235263]

This is a totally unreadbale mess of unessecary rhyme and alliteration panckaed on some kind of stream of consiousness about nothing.

What the hell were you trying to do here? Anything?

[Anonymous No.1235320]

OP has schizophrenia

[Anonymous No.1235337]

I liked it in some strange way but I can't seem to tell you why, OP.

[Anonymous No.1235473]

Such large amounts of failed sarcasm.