write what's on your mind

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write what's on your mind Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:29:48 2019 No.12335464 [Reply] [Original]

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:31:17 2019 No.12335471 An essential part of growing up is realizing that stereotypes and cliches are true.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:33:57 2019 No.12335476 Most religions and philosophies agree that life is shit, they just disagree with how you should respond to it. I find the similarities between abrahamic religions, buddhism, and philosophical pessimism very interesting.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:34:39 2019 No.12335477 tfw all you used to do was do psychedelics and post on lit about some total nonsense christ, just kill me looking back on that

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:35:39 2019 No.12335482 File: 1.46 MB, 1264x1997, 1493513600618.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335464 I wish I could afford nice paintings to hang on my walls.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:37:37 2019 No.12335490 >>12335471 why

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:40:04 2019 No.12335494

I was reading through the comments of a popular youtube video about the daily routine of some *insert prestigious university here* student, and there were comments about how he probably is a virgin, doesn't go to parties, etc. Something about these sorts of comments infuriates me, but I can't seem to place my finger on why. Maybe I'm just projecting my insecurities and I understand saying this is at least a little bit cringeworthy and something of a taboo, but I think there are aspects of popular culture that are really rotten, and I don't mean "we live in a society".

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:41:38 2019 No.12335500
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>>12335476
>Most religions and philosophies agree that life is shit

I would like to try and convince more people that life is a wonderful experience but I know that others have had much worse growings up than I so it would be incredibly condescending so I'll just keep my words shut.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:42:57 2019 No.12335506 >>12335500 It’s less about specific bad events people experience and more about things fundamental to being alive. Think Schopenhauer.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:43:02 2019 No.12335507 >>12335464 Resignation. Like when you come to the realization that everyone has proceeded much furter than you in life and you lost track.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:45:16 2019 No.12335515
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The world is so stressful and iring. I want REST. I want to talk to interesting people, I want to b appreciated, I want to be beautiful and I want to be a good artist. And I want to be intelligent too.
It's all very hard and it makes me TIRED

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:45:20 2019 No.12335516 >>12335490 I think when we're young we tend to think that we know better and that many things aren't really what they seem. As one grows he loses his individuality and starts believing in the virtue of popular wisdom.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:45:56 2019 No.12335519

At this point, I don't think I can find a purpose in life other than by having children, ideally of a better genetic stock than myself so I have something to leave behind and be proud of before I die. I feel this makes me a bad person, but that could just be because I've been poisoned into a myopic view of life, both by my own experiences and the general attitudes expressed in the online communities (such as 4chan) that I regularly visit. Do anti-natalists have a point? Maybe. Am I a piece of shit for bringing more life into this world to satisfy my ego? Perhaps. But this remains my goal nonetheless.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:46:34 2019 No.12335521

>>12335464
I was eating a cookie and I had to rush to the bathroom, I still have bits and pieces of cookie in my mouth and I can taste them while I'm using the toilet.
Does this count as eating while taking a shit? Have I unwillingly broken a rule of human decorum

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:48:43 2019 No.12335528 >>12335519 Ideas are what’s truly important to leave behind in the modern era. Do you really think your genes are so special that they’re something to be proud of? To leave behind an actual noteworthy legacy you’ll need to do something else.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:50:52 2019 No.12335537 >>12335464 It's hard to win when you always lose

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:50:53 2019 No.12335538
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>>12335476
there is an evolutonary principle behind all ideas, its no wonder how of all religions that ever existed its the ones with the same messages of community and peaceful resolve that managed to survive

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:52:21 2019 No.12335543
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>>12335464
Suffering from pretty much crippling addiction to the internet/wasting my time in front of my PC atm. Brain chemistry pretty much ruined by almost 7 years of absolutely insane porn and gaming addiction. I can easily force myself to pick up an activity that I tell myself I'll enjoy, but I just don't manage to get into anything in the long-term. The only motivations that I have are listening to music all day and trying to take my addiction to sexual content to the real life. I am completely aware that this lifestyle is horribly sickening and that this manic obsession with sexuality is a result of a dysfunctional mind, which again is a result of the emotionally abusive and mentally ill surroundings I grew up in, or something like that. I think the reason why I still manage to leave my bed in the morning is because I finally started seeing a therapist in autumn 2017. The fact that I'm almost finished with getting my BA is a miracle to me. I loved what I studied at the beginning, but now it all seems indifferent. Internally, I'm judging myself harshly for not being an "optimistic" kind of Nihilist. I have subsequently told myself over the past 3 years that I'll beat my porn addiction and will be able to lead a life where I don't feel like I'm running away from something terrible that has gotten a hold on me over my teenage years. People tell me I expect too much from myself, but I absolutely don't agree with this. The only way I can have a little comfort is through complete isolation and escapism by internet usage, drowning myself in music and junk food. Everything else demands a lot of energy and resources from me. Just needed to write this somewhere.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:52:22 2019 No.12335544 >>12335464 I keep telling myself that I will do these and that . Problem is that's all I do. Tell myself that I will do it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:52:47 2019 No.12335548 >>12335544 Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:53:02 2019 No.12335549 >>12335500 consider the fact that you live i n an entirely different world than everyone else and that the things you see and do which shape your reality may not even exist in the world of the person you are talking to

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:56:28 2019 No.12335556 File: 77 KB, 560x452, diogenes_alejandro.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335494 anon, come on. Its not popular culture, this shit has been a thing for all human history is in our genes

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 06:58:14 2019 No.12335564 >>12335544 get some cbt

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:03:13 2019 No.12335578

>>12335506
>It’s less about specific bad events people experience

Perhaps, but sometimes when I try to advise somebody they tell me 'well what do you know about suffering anon?' or 'walk a mile in my shoes'. They are not wrong, and I only wish everybody could be having as good a time being alive as I am.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:04:24 2019 No.12335579

>>12335528
At best, if I continue down my current path I'll graduate from college and be just another stable corporate middle-aged guy, hopefully with a wife someday. I'm not naive enough to think that I'll be part of the less than .1% of people who will contribute something original and meaningful that will last beyond my death.

It's not that I think my genes are special, it's almost the opposite actually. I want to marry upwards in some sort of odd attempt to have my genetic lineage spiral upwards as well. Perhaps, if my offspring are successful and I live long enough to see my grandchildren, I'll have something to be proud of other than my degree and being another corporate wageslave in the modern era. I've minored in philosophy and have several professors who took breaks from working, traveled the world, tried to be artists, etc. mostly in the 60s and 70s. As far as I can tell, they will leave no "noteworthy legacy" behind after they die. In fact, they seem just as disillusioned with the world as I do. These are wasteful pursuits in the modern era. There is nothing genuine in this world to strive towards at this point.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:05:39 2019 No.12335580 >>12335464 Being depressed on your 20's is so sad. I'm sure when I'm 40 I'll regret wasting my youth. At least I can function, but I'm tired all the time

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:11:15 2019 No.12335593

i miss god, man. raised roman catholic and ofc as a kid i didn't understand shit other than god loved me and was omnipotent, so it seemed like all my actions had serious meaning because someone was watching over me. i did things more perfectly, more diligently, as to please god i also pleased myself, and it was so symbiotic.
sounding like w/e talking like this but master/slave morality, moral relativism, fuck man. i just wanted to live peacefully as a kid but teen/late teen years learning about this stuff fuck
ben surrounded by family and friends my whole life and it's been so lucky and wonderful, and it's probably self-deluded romanticism but it really does feel like i'm missing something, and i'm sure amongst the post-post whatever ironic world there's a bunch of people who feel the same way. i mean, the resurgence in faith and interest in religion people have no doubt show that at least i don't feel as alone in saying this
may want to start a thread on this if others feel the same way
peace

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:11:16 2019 No.12335594

>>12335500
>>12335578
Not the guy you replied to but I feel as if your attitude isn't just a product of growing up better than others -- it could very well be some small difference in your neurochemistry that's made you more content with your life the way it is, and less neurotic than the lot of us. Or perhaps you were born into great privilege/wealth or are a Chad. Still, I suspect you're someone who's more easily satisfied with a simple/"normal" life, and I envy that honestly. No insult intended. Still, if you have any genuine insight as to why life is a wonderful experience, feel free to share it. There is rarely any optimism in these threads and I'd like to hear more of a bloomer/normie perspective for once.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:23:29 2019 No.12335623
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So you know that website onlyinyourstate that has articles about all the cool stuff you can see and do in your state? Yeah, reading the stuff in Maryland just reminds me how much of a boring shithole Maryland truly is.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:24:56 2019 No.12335627 Every time I take part in a thread, the thread dies soon

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:34:27 2019 No.12335648

>>12335464
All pessimits eventually end up aging and becoming wise men with a more positive view of the world and life itself.
Leopardi, Cioran, Schopenhuer didn't stay on their tracks in the last fases of their life.
Pessimism must be an attitude for the young.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:38:44 2019 No.12335657 >>12335464 I have a naive looking face. People think I can't follow them when they speak about dirty stuff or that I don't get irony. Maybe if I grow a beard and put on a frown...

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:39:04 2019 No.12335661 >>12335627 hello

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:40:06 2019 No.12335662 >>12335661 goodbye

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:40:09 2019 No.12335664

>>12335464
i miss you so
as i watch
crumpled photos
an embrace
in black and white
her hair your bliss

on my screen
i long to find you
desperate hope
that your heart still beats
not only in mine
but in a bearded old man
who might be you
as he sings
reciting poetry
like birds in spring

ever young you live
in so many hearts
just as you died
too soon too far
too long ago
yet i remember
the brother i lost
the friend i never had

how can one live?
with all that is lost
in the abyss of the past
but by dreaming
to shake your hand
in the world to come
when i join you
in death

what am i looking for?
on an empty train station
poised, lingering, longing
locked in this thing
between the past and the beyond
we call "life"
is it a May i know will never come
is it a shadow of a memory
that only ever was

maybe i will always miss you
so proud to know you
so sad to never be able
to thank you,
to dream with you,
jim

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:40:58 2019 No.12335667 >>12335464 I have this impression that we all cone to the same conclusions or at least very similar ones. We must be all alike

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:43:49 2019 No.12335670 >>12335661 hi

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:45:11 2019 No.12335676

Even if God existed, it wouldn't make a difference. Young and old, men and women, infants an elderly, the valorous and traitors, the innocent and sinners - all suffer unspeakable horrors only to perish and rot away. And for what purpose? Just imagine the mountains of corpses of your ancestors, all leading up to you in a darwinian race. It is mindless savagery; this universe is mindless.

The most noble thing you can do is to increase this misery in any way you can. As a slave to existence, it is the only righteous goal. Anything that can be killed, should be killed; anything that can be raped should be raped; any throat that can be cut should have the tongue pulled through the hole; anything that can be torn down should be turned to ashes. Blood for The Blood God, skulls for The Skull Throne! LET. THE GALAXY. BURN.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:48:11 2019 No.12335682
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>>12335594
>to why life is a wonderful experience, feel free to share it.
Oh, it probably sounds dumb, but reading and nature. And putting them together is Heavenly. Just a gentle breeze or the smell of rain is enough to remind me how lucky I am to be alive and to be able to experience that. I think more anons should read outside when the weather permits it.

So long as I am not starving and can interact with nature I am fairly content, so I guess you are right about that. I do not know if what I enjoy is at all helpful or relevant but there you go. I am not very good at going into detail either, sorry.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 07:50:49 2019 No.12335683 I love the smell of my own dickcheese. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 08:19:54 2019 No.12335763

>>12335482
This is a rare instance of someone not having money being a good thing, since you won't be able to display your really, really bad taste in art.

>>12335515
Even if you had all that you wouldn't be pleased, you wouldn't be aware of how good things are, and wouldn't use your potential (just like you're doing now).

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 08:21:41 2019 No.12335769

>>12335580
Yeah just look at all those high achieving 20 year olds around doing things like curing cancer and starting families
>>12335579
Or you can find fulfilment in something other than money/status/eugenics
You will never be the.1% but you don't need to either

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 08:26:40 2019 No.12335782 File: 139 KB, 1080x817, 1525883867766.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335580 >thinking 20s is as bad as it gets lol, how naive

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 10:40:21 2019 No.12336282 >>12335782 This graph could have benefited from another line that represents the mean.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 10:42:43 2019 No.12336291 >>12336282 you can see the mean with your eyes, it's not that hard

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 13:43:02 2019 No.12337125
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>>12335464
I'm just rotting away on a bed watching youtube and refreshing this site.
I don't study or read or go out .
I'm vulgar human waste, the lowest being in existence.
A chronic loner, an helpless idiot, I'd better be dead.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 13:45:22 2019 No.12337133 >>12335464 I've been wrong all my life and just want to submit myself to something greater. I'm cult bait.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:18:20 2019 No.12337285 >>12337133 Would you join my cult? Idk what it's going to be about yet, but it'll change your life for the better

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:19:54 2019 No.12337288 It's terrifying to realize what iron grip sex has on my mind.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:20:41 2019 No.12337292 >>12336282 the yellow line

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:21:24 2019 No.12337297 women have beards too

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:31:38 2019 No.12337341
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>>12335464
I wish I could remove myself from existence.
Despite being mildly transphobic, every time I look at my body I wish I were a girl.
I have recently realised that I don't have standards. I enjoy pretty much anything I read or watch, and the things I don't enjoy I'm simply indifferent to.
Male homosexuality is disgusting, heterosexuality is as well, lesbianism (among feminine women) and asexuality are aesthetically pleasing and should be encouraged.
The end of humanity can't come soon enough.
East Asia is very interesting and I should learn Mandarin and Japanese.
I hate masturbating, I feel like shit every time I do it.
I should genuinely get into philosophy and stop spouting /lit/ memes about philosophers.
Temple of the Golden Pavillion was a very nice book.
I should read more in my native language, I'm suffering from first language attrition without leaving my room.
Anime's depictions of femininity might've fucked my brain but I don't really care.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:34:35 2019 No.12337355

>>12335593
>i miss god, man. raised roman catholic and ofc as a kid i didn't understand shit other than god loved me and was omnipotent, so it seemed like all my actions had serious meaning because someone was watching over me. i did things more perfectly, more diligently, as to please god i also pleased myself, and it was so symbiotic.

I know this feeling. I was also raised as roman catholic and everything back in childhood looked so pure and beatiful, even death wasn't a problem because joyous heaven was awaiting for us. But then disillusion arrived, I realized how selfish and despicable human nature is (my parents and of course me included). God is dead for me now, I would require great ammounts of mental masturbation to recover faith.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:35:58 2019 No.12337363 Tinder is a meme. 60 matches over the last week and zero dates have materialized out of it. Had a date with a girl yesterday who literally cancelled while I was already in the cafe waiting for her.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:38:32 2019 No.12337375 >>12335648 If they don't kill themselves first like Mainländer

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:38:34 2019 No.12337376 File: 20 KB, 691x653, cryingwojak.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335507 This is me exactly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:40:02 2019 No.12337384 >>12335683 You're not the only one anon.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:41:57 2019 No.12337392 File: 137 KB, 772x1000, Mishima.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335676 Sounds like him. Following your idea, self-destruction would be the maximum goal of existence, the total embrace of the void.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:48:42 2019 No.12337433 >>12335664 I enjoyed this much.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:52:22 2019 No.12337452 >>12337363 I got 50 matches in the course of 2 weeks, which resulted in 2 dates, with a third one scheduled for saturday. Are you sure the problem is not on your end?

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:53:54 2019 No.12337461

>>12337133
>>12337285
It should be about dragons

Here, read these blog links to help get you started:
https://dancefighterredux.wordpress.com/2018/07/29/against-malatora-and-towards-a-draconic-post-human-future/
https://dancefighterredux.wordpress.com/2018/08/01/draconic-values-a-meditation/

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 14:54:10 2019 No.12337462 >>12335623 I'm also a Marylandfag, at least I live near DC so there's still things to do if I ever decide to leave my house.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:01:57 2019 No.12337505 The only thing that makes this any different than facebook is none of us know each other and we don't have profile pictures.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:04:58 2019 No.12337517 >>12337288 What gives you the right to fix me? I can't stress enough that I say these things without a shred of bitterness, I legitimately want you to think about why you believe you're in any place to tell me how to live my life.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:05:11 2019 No.12337519 >>12335464 I am unironically considering becoming a monk

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:08:22 2019 No.12337533

>>12337452
I don't know man, I have girls messaging me first, and we even agree to a date, but then they just cancel or stop responding so we can't hash out the details. I try to get them off the app as soon as possible. Like christ, I was messaging this girl last night and then suddenly she stops responding in the middle of a great convo. Thought she went to bed but no she still hasn't responded.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:44:54 2019 No.12337691

>>12337533
Do you live in a large city? It might just be that your area is shit. I've been maintaining convos with girls which I haven't taken on dates yet for 2 weeks, which is less than ideal of course, but I had very little ghosting once I get them out of the app.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:48:31 2019 No.12337709 >>12337363 >>12337452 >>12337533 >>12337691 How is this literature related? I will be petitioning the owner of this website to ban these threads, they are breeding grounds for what is corrupting this board with feels and teenage angst.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:52:18 2019 No.12337735 >>12337517 Sorry?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 15:53:07 2019 No.12337739 >>12335476 You read conspiracy against the human race recently too huh

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:02:34 2019 No.12337784

Started banging out a novel I've had in my head for years.
Stopped.
Started banging out an idea I had for a script.
Stopped.
Started banging out a collection of short stories.
In serious danger of stopping again.

I fucking hate myself for this. I know I have it in me to tell good stories, but I can't beat back my own second-guessing. The apprehension builds and builds. I rewrite line after line, page after page, yet nothing ever seems good enough. No word seems correct, and no sentence seems to flow.
Its all petty hesitation, but it still gets to me. It eats at me.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:05:09 2019 No.12337797 For fucks sake I don't even know how to be edgy anymore, that's how fucked my brain is at this point.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:09:24 2019 No.12337827

>>12335464
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7ddiCBmoes

in the earth i roam
unwanted and inevitable
my sickle i sway
to count the seasons
of your eternal perishment.

from distant Saturn
i whisper in the quiet dark
know me
and you shall no longer be
try me
and be undone
obey me
and i will bestow upon you
wisdom of the darkest kind.

for i am the king of what is under
the final destination
the lord of the rings
falling without wings
the one who stares at the abyss
the one who only in death
knows quiet bliss
listen to my winds
be tempted to the void.

i promise you oblivion
within my halls of ash
lure i warm-blooded seekers
to my cube
where i imprison
souls that i wish to teach
the meaninglessness of mortality
on a six sided cross.

hear the echo
of bones
withiin the fields of space
ripe for the reaping
crumpling to dust
there i reign
eternal prophet

hear my silent wail
among the cold distant stars
let it pull you towards
the mouth of this chasm
that you ever fear to touch
yet which you are destined
to approach

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:12:55 2019 No.12337843 File: 186 KB, 900x738, 409281.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335664

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:14:10 2019 No.12337853

>>12337691
150kish, and uni is currently out so I assume once it starts up again it'll be better. I'm already constantly out of girls to swipe. I keep matching with girls that live like 50 miles away it pisses me off since I set my range to 15 miles max.

>>12337709
these threads are great shut up

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:15:54 2019 No.12337864 >>12337133 To join the cult: 1. Wake up in the middle of the night. Watch the trees. Follow their movements. Focus your eyes unmoving upon the leaves. 2. Wake up in the middle of the night. Go to the forest. Look around.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:17:24 2019 No.12337870 >>12335664 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Fh3jzhuwUc

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:20:11 2019 No.12337884

>>12337341
>East Asia is very interesting and I should learn Mandarin and Japanese.
>I hate masturbating, I feel like shit every time I do it.
>I should genuinely get into philosophy and stop spouting /lit/ memes about philosophers.
>I should read more in my native language

I'm sorry about your afflictions, but these things are all within your own power to control and to change. Perhaps if you read more or learned a language it might help change your views on life.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:20:42 2019 No.12337887

>>12337709
Yet they're so much better than the hundredth "what did he mean by this" or thinly-veiled /pol/ thread. A few weeks (months?) ago an anon posted a thread trying to talk about borges (hardly difficult fiction to grasp) and he got maybe two actual replies. Like it or not these threads represent the best of what this board has to offer.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:22:31 2019 No.12337897 >>12337341 And by that I mean doing something productive instead of rotting your brain by sitting here 24/7 and musing about how much you hate yourself.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:29:54 2019 No.12337938 >>12337887 >they're so much better than the hundredth "what did he mean by this" or thinly-veiled /pol/ thread. the same people who post feels post /pol/ and memes. Young, uneducated incels? that's the /pol/ demographic

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:36:20 2019 No.12337970

Not related to Peterson but I need to clean my room. I allowed it to get cluttered over Christmas and now cleaning it seems somewhat daunting so I say I will start but fail to do so. I have other projects going on as well that need to be finished this month. Good thing I am a NEET and have the time but the motivation is elusive.

Also! I enjoy the salon-type atmosphere of my local hobby store each Sunday. Once most people go home we seem to engage in conversations that we could not have otherwise. It's nice. Considering my non-hobby (I do tabletop wargaming which as we all know is a bastion of intellectual pursuit) friends are... I don't want to say simple and I don't want to come across as an arse but we do not discuss stuff of that nature. They like speaking of sports and that. It is refreshing to be able to talk about "deeper" subjects with other learned folk. I enjoy it and look forward to it each week.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:37:05 2019 No.12337975 >>12335464 Chocolate

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:37:20 2019 No.12337977

How good could I even become at piano? Got a keyboard for Christmas, but I'm starting from ground zero. It's fun and I've been watching a few piano lessons on youtube. But how good could I really get? Don't think I'm in a position currently to get lessons so it'd be all by myself and maybe some input from a few friends.

I enjoy it though, so I have a desire to pursue it, but I wonder if I'll make any progress at all just from youtube and books

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:37:51 2019 No.12337980 >>12337739 No, but it’s on my reading list coincidentally.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:39:42 2019 No.12337985 >>12335464 I made a commitment to be more productive and work on more of my creative projects, but I keep shitposting on 4chan. I know I should close my browser and get to work but somehow I just keep refreshing the page.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:42:40 2019 No.12338001

>>12337977
If you're really serious about practice and put your ass into it, you could end up with a skill that you can be proud off and impress your family. Ryo Fukui didn't touch a piano until his 20's and he ended being one of Japan's most famous jazz artists. I believe in you!

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:42:57 2019 No.12338006

>>12335500
>>12335594
Not that poster, but I have some thoughts on this topic. I'm not wealthy and am definitely not a Chad, but I think overall I have the same attitude, that life sucks sometimes but overall I feel that being alive is a wonderful thing that should be cherished for as long as you're able. On that note I think I'm going to find something more productive to do than shitposting. Excuse me.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:43:58 2019 No.12338013

>>12337977

Was in the same boat a few years ago, and the thing is you can still compose music with only basic piano skill, and arrange it in a DAW. You could learn how to perform, but I'd say that would be only for your own benefit, if you find it relaxing etc. Making music offers you a greater chance of "getting good".

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:44:15 2019 No.12338017 >>12335464 What the FUCK is going on

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:50:21 2019 No.12338052 >>12335464 I want to do something about this unending libido issue but my balls and groin area are bruised to shit so I can't.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:51:30 2019 No.12338058 Hitler did nothing wrong

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 16:53:22 2019 No.12338067

>>12338006
>I'm not wealthy

Neither was I. By 'good growings up' I mean that my parents didn't beat me or abuse me or anything. Which is better than many people have.

>On that note I think I'm going to find something more productive to do than shitposting. Excuse me.

Have a nice day/night.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 17:03:32 2019 No.12338137

I went and saw an escort for the first time and it was supposed to be a one-off thing. However, after almost 2 hours of all sorts of debauchery I couldn’t climax so she offered a “discount”. Now I’m looking into doung it again, which is likely to turn into an expensive habit, and possible STDs and I’m too lonely to resist her (she’s fairly intelligent, stimulating conversation) and I feel myself becoming a degenerate loser, being drained by some whore, it’s all so exhausting and stupid

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 17:39:06 2019 No.12338359 >>12335471 This. Also a part is realizing that no matter what humans do humans will always be wretched and imperfect.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 17:47:23 2019 No.12338398 >>12338137 Sounds like something from a novel, very cool.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:04:19 2019 No.12338490 >>12337938 Disagree, the feels posters are depressed uni kids while the /pol/ posters are angry losers left behind by modern society. There's certainly some overlap, but I'd stand by those general classifications.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:33:39 2019 No.12338619 My satyr of a friend insists on sticking his dick into all if my friends. Particularly those whom I have a emotional bond with. Why does he do this? Is this some form of cuckhildry?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:36:38 2019 No.12338634 >>12338619 Are you just jealous because he's not having sex with you?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:38:56 2019 No.12338650 >>12338619 >being friends with sluts well I guess that's better than being in a relationship with them either way, don't hang around with losers or you will never stop being a loser

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:39:22 2019 No.12338654 >>12338634 I don't really want to have sex with him. Plus his penis is too big.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:41:30 2019 No.12338665 >>12338634 I'm gay btw did I mention that

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:44:37 2019 No.12338684 >>12338665 I had a hunch.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 18:56:44 2019 No.12338745 I press the glass against my face, just to feel the chill of it against my skin. Rain patters down the other side, I can't feel it, but it blurs the barest hint of my reflection like I'm not even there.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:15:50 2019 No.12338826 >>12335464 I want to start taking notes on the books I read, but I still am not sure how to start and what notes to take.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:18:39 2019 No.12338838 >>12338826 Get a pen and paper and just write down anything of interest. Maybe it's a nice metaphor, or a quote, or a phrase, or something that you liked about the prose.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:20:29 2019 No.12338845
File: 242 KB, 369x339, 1535420080568.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12335464
I have a short film I need to make this year, and even though it is a film school project, I want it to be my true directorial debut.
And I'm really frustrated over the fact that I can't finish my script despite having already come up with so much stuff for this movie, for a bunch of reasons really but it mostly comes down to the issue that I want to, and feel like I have to, make something that heavily draws from the culture and setting of the country I live in, and yet I've never been genuinely invested in anything from my country to write about it, and I don't want to make something phony, derivative and disingenious that just uses culture as an exotic background. Plus the fact that I have to keep it under 30 minutes (otherwise the pitch won't be accepted), and that, no matter how hard I try to be respectful and inclusive to racial/social stuff, I will have to deal with annoying levels of uncontestable scrutiny for writing about a region from which I don't belong, is really putting me off.

I don't know but as someone who's starting to try and branch out as a screenwriter I always find it so much easier to just expand on the fanfics for media I like that I grew up writing about, and I shouldn't do that. I want to put my original ideas out there and express my vision but it's so goddamn frustrating that I can't do it. I want to get directly to the stories I want to tell with the characters I want to write about and skip the tiresome conventions or the necessary bits like world-building, internal/external conflicts, setting rules and just. And I know that's cheating and, frankly I like writing that stuff too. It's just that it feels so much harder to do it when I have to do it in script format when I'm used to prose.
And I have to finish it this month at least because the pitch happens in February and I have work to do and other stuff I really think I should be doing or wish I was doing instead.

That's how it is on this bitch of an Earth I guess

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:21:59 2019 No.12338854

Firefly
Even as my junior
A man had been made
Though we didn't understand
Quite what love meant

Rainbow
Proved love's empirical possibility
Forever quirks and fire for memory
Held hands while you pissed
The One that's always missed

Barbie
Brushstrokes to the city in ecstasy
Tabloids spewed both names
Lost to tandem eccentricities
Forever a lust that's infame

Ghost
Knew too much
Enough to not at all
Strangest ride of my life
For You; happy to fall

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:24:54 2019 No.12338872 Today I woke up with no energy and unable to derive interest from anything, so I read Two Gallants and slept until 6 p.m.. I wish life would offer me some guidance because all of this seems such a waste.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:32:45 2019 No.12338914 'Just be yourself' is good advice but nobody ever follows it.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:41:18 2019 No.12338965

>>12335464
Just finished my master’s and am pessimistic about ever obtaining a job in my preferred field (journalism) that isn’t either boring and dumb or depressingly underpaid. My plan B is to save up and go live and write in some Third World country that is weird enough to be interesting but not a complete basket case.

On the upside: I’m reading a lot, studying languages dutifully, exercising, meditating and not eating junk food. Modest accomplishments, but they represent a huge improvement over my life as it was a few years ago, so it’s hard to feel too self-pitying.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:46:43 2019 No.12338993

As if my day wasn't enough of a dull failure, my mom just has to swoop in at the last minute to give me yet another rant about how the webpages related to my photography business are still not getting traffic and I haven't done anything about it and I'm a failure who does nothing all day (as if I didn't spend all day actually trying to do something but just not succeeding) and who is always going to be this way and I should savor my time leeching her as much as I can, in that tone of "You are to blame for me making you feel like shit".

Sometimes I wish I was half as apathetic and unfeeling as she thinks I am.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:51:50 2019 No.12339021 >>12338993 What sort of photography do you do? I’ve dabbled in portrait photography and product photography for money, but I don’t really enjoy it. The only paid photography work I’ve done that I’ve actually enjoyed is concert photography.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 19:53:55 2019 No.12339030 >>12338993 >>12339021 P.S.- I know that feel. My mom berated me during my early 20s for my lack of accomplishment. (She wasn’t wrong.)

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 20:05:08 2019 No.12339095

I remember when I interviewed at Target. The interviewer told me that this job I applied for was perfect because even though I would be working seven hours I would also be able to have a second job. Wow. I'd be so privileged to need another job instead of being paid appropriately by a multibillion dollar company.

I love capitalism and America.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 20:13:02 2019 No.12339144 >>12337709 >expecting this to be a literature-related thread It's more like /r9k/-lite mate, although that can be said about many other boards and threads

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 20:15:12 2019 No.12339160 >>12339144 >/r9k/ Can't they just shut the fuck up and stop blaming everyone but themselves for their problems?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 20:20:42 2019 No.12339195 >>12337133 I'm starting a cult based on the belief that Socrates was the true Messiah of the Old Testament and the works of Plato are the New Testament, do you want to join?

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 20:26:16 2019 No.12339221

>>12335471
that is the most retarded thing i've ever heard. ask any six year old "which rides a bicycle more, the fat cartoon man or the thin cartoon man?" or if "a woman goes to work or a man goes to work". they'll always answer the stereotype. inherent racism has even been found to be true. if children, white or black, raised in primarily white/black/or mixed environments will always choose the black cartoon as "bad"

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 20:45:50 2019 No.12339343 >>12335763 >le art pompier meme xDD

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 20:46:57 2019 No.12339349 FUCKING GODDAMNIT I'M NOT EVEN REAL

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:04:11 2019 No.12339425 Time is a merciless thing.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:05:46 2019 No.12339427 >>12335482 Suggestion anon. You can get large, full colour prints at walmart for cheap. Won't have the texture of a real painting but it's better than bare walls.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:19:17 2019 No.12339491 >>12338058 Hitler was a vegetarian socialist who thought amphetamines made him smarter. He's basically Portland, OR.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:20:06 2019 No.12339493 >>12339425 Time stole everything from me.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:21:24 2019 No.12339503 >>12339491 What's wrong with being vegetarian? >>12339427 Maybe I will check that out, thanks.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:21:45 2019 No.12339507 >>12339491 people that use amphetamines aren't vegan

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:21:58 2019 No.12339509
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Sometimes I wish I was single. Every day life is so much more dramatic and intense with a girl of my own. I'm afraid of the future and if I can't protect her or satisfy her. It's been 4 years. I hope I can do my best. So I can keep busting nuts all over myself as she aggressively strokes my cock, my face smothered in her tits.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:23:43 2019 No.12339516 >>12335676 No, heretic! By the Emperor's will you shall be purged! Your will to wonton destruction is the expression of a callow and diluted spirit. A verminous weakness. Order shall prevail over chaos! For the Emperor! Praaaaise Sigmar!

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:28:05 2019 No.12339535 >>12339503 >>12339507 Hi Portland, heil Hitler.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:33:18 2019 No.12339560 >>12339509 Is this what normies really fret about?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:38:35 2019 No.12339586 >>12335482 I saw this painting in person recently, its magnificent.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:41:49 2019 No.12339597
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I daydream about living in a society where God isn't dead.
I haven't even read any Neet-ché.

>>12337341
>Anime's depictions of femininity might've fucked my brain but I don't really care.
iktf. Men too though. Anyone who isn't aspiring to be the ideal (despite how difficult or straight up impossible) isn't trying hard enough, myself included.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:42:55 2019 No.12339602 >>12335521 I regularly eat full meals on the shitter. I bring in a tv tray, a book stand, and a cigar or pipe. Its quite relaxing, just be sure that your legs dont go numb or else you wont be able to get up.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:45:22 2019 No.12339618 File: 566 KB, 1800x2453, 1525244632790.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12339597 What's your ideal, anon? Do you want to be somebody's guardian angel?

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:52:06 2019 No.12339657

No one will read this so I can finally tell you all about how I love turtle shit. I don't let my turtles shit unless they're on my naked skin. I've trained them to shit only on me. If anyone ever found out I'd be destroyed and unable to continue my job or maintain my friendships with people, but I can tell you /lit/ cuz you won't read this. I have a turtle named Yertle and a turtle named Slippery Jeff and a turtle named Candy Tits, and they all take shits on me. If I find shit in their terrarium I put a picture of a weird dog against the glass and make angry sounds, and they all go hide in their fake rock that is cut out inside and you can hide in it. They know I am mad because they shit without me. But I take away the dog and then give them their food - mainly this consists of finely chopped up hot dogs and canned kelp - so they can eat it and build nice sexy delicious turtle shits in their little turtle intestines to shit out all over daddy later. It makes me so fucking hot to think about even, but I don't jack off. It's a pure thing, and jacking off would ruin it. I cum in my skin where the shit falls on me, and I put my turtles on the floor and rub their shit into my pores and it's like taking in and absorbing happiness into myself.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:54:07 2019 No.12339667 I want to kill one of you

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:56:40 2019 No.12339679 >>12339667 Kill this guy please >>12339657

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 21:57:47 2019 No.12339686

>>12339657

I've been coming to this cantonese hobby board for over 10 years and this is by far the most reprehensible thing i've ever read. If I could, i'd come tie you up, make you watch as I set your turtles free in the nearest lake or river, and then take a 12 pound dumb on your face.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 22:00:37 2019 No.12339704 >>12339667 Only one?

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 22:06:54 2019 No.12339747
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>>12339618
Responsible, appropriately social without overdoing it, bi-lingual, physically fit, able to support a wife and kids and parents, strict but fair/kind/charitable, not borderline-schziophrenic.
A complete incarnation of noblesse oblige and fully Roman-Catholic.
Everything that Im not, but could be.

I want to save a Reki.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 22:11:59 2019 No.12339772 >>12335464 Iiiiiiiiii want to know have you ever seen the rain?

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 22:12:28 2019 No.12339778

I applied to four jobs today. It's my new year's resolution to throw in the towel and get on with my life. I'm giving up freedom to pursue a life of comfort and stability. It makes me feel sick. Then again it will be nice to have ~$1k of disposable income every week.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 22:35:30 2019 No.12339872
File: 110 KB, 1280x720, coalgirls_haibane_renmei_09_1280x720_blu-ray_flac_fff8ca7d.mkv_snapshot_22.13_2016.02.07_11.13.41.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12339747
I am not sure what your situation is but all sound like good, reasonable, and achievable goals for somebody willing to work hard towards, so best wishes for you in the New Year with that, anon.
>I want to save a Reki.
Don't we all? I am sure everybody knows a person like that; somebody you want to help desperately, but they will never allow it, or ever ask for help. It hurts to see somebody you love in pain. Some people just want to do it all themselves, but there is no shame in having a lightened burden.

Man, I love this show. So nice to see something about people helping each other instead of destroying.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 22:55:17 2019 No.12339969
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>>12339872
>so best wishes for you in the New Year
Y-you too. My situation is far better than most though.
Also if it wasn't obvious, my desire to "save a Reki" is also a reflection of my sympathy towards Reki and a selfish desire for someone to "save" me as well. Whether that saviour is God or a qt anime girl.
>there is no shame in having a lightened burden.
Agreed, it takes more strength to ask for help to lift a load than to lift it your self. Everyone should be slightly burdened at some time, it breeds humbleness. Totally encapsulates the point of the show too.
>So nice to see something about people helping each other instead of destroying.
It really is one of the greatest shows ever. I've marathoned it every NYE for the last couple of years, but people reading this exchange should just watch it asap anyway.

For what its worth, the setting of the show is based on the Murakami book' Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World'.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:04:48 2019 No.12340012 I want to write about dragons but I don't know how to write at all.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:10:21 2019 No.12340044 >>12340012 How to Train Your Prose

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:12:46 2019 No.12340052 I've been wondering how long it will be until /lit/ starts merging with /x/

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:13:26 2019 No.12340058

>>12340044
I literally don't care about prose at all. Prose fetishists are inevitably drawn to ways of speaking that sound like schizophrenia to me. I see no virtues of any kind in speaking imprecisely, and it seems like to the prose worshipper, the less precise you are, the better the writing. Fundamentally I hate literature and have no idea why I read it or post here.

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:25:24 2019 No.12340113
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>>12339969
>is also a reflection of my sympathy towards Reki and a selfish desire for someone to "save" me as well.
I had a inclining, but I thought it would be rude to say so. But I know that you felt that way because I did too. There were times I wasn't going so well and I wish now that I had been more open to the kindness of others. It's why I loved the series, everybody felt so real, so relatable, very down to earth. Just regular people (well, kind of) going through life.
>Murakami book' Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World'.
I know, but thank you. Ever since I saw it I've been trying desperately to find a book or other piece of fiction like it. It's just a wonderful mix of musing on the afterlife, religion, purpose, and friendship.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:27:21 2019 No.12340126 >>12337133 WE AT dōTERRA ARE COMMITTED TO SHARING THE LIFE-ENHANCING BENEFITS OF THERAPEUTIC-GRADE ESSENTIAL OILS WITH THE WORLD

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:27:33 2019 No.12340129 File: 12 KB, 400x400, 1543898979.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >tfw think my story is too confusing if I'm not more explicit but if I'm more explicit my story isn't good anymore save me from this hell

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:30:18 2019 No.12340137 >>12340129 Just have some omniscient asshole show up for no reason and explain everything duh

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:32:53 2019 No.12340156 >>12340129 Tell yourself your story isn't good to begin with, and then it'll be easier to make it worse.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:33:19 2019 No.12340161 Would using different text colors like Faulkner wanted to do make me a hack?

Anonymous Thu Jan 3 23:40:06 2019 No.12340197
File: 72 KB, 1280x720, [Coalgirls]_Haibane_Renmei_10_(1280x720_Blu-Ray_FLAC)_[9E6C0B47].mkv_snapshot_12.45_[2016.07.09_08.05.18].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12340113
>There were times I wasn't going so well and I wish now that I had been more open to the kindness of others
We both wish that, and I suspect most people deep down also wish that. I still wish I could encapsulate that.
'Pay it Forward' become a bit of a meme because of Hollywood, but it still rings true.

>Ever since I saw it I've been trying desperately to find a book or other piece of fiction like it.
Dante's Purgatorio is the only thing thats come close, but that might be a little on the nose.
Les Miserables comes close too.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 00:05:17 2019 No.12340282 File: 222 KB, 1200x1198, digital_dance.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335464 reading jacques ellul at my software engineering job not working listening to electronic music, browsing wikipedia boss drum by the shamen, olav h. hauge

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 00:08:26 2019 No.12340292 love sex intelligence love sex intelligence love sex intelligence

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 00:10:16 2019 No.12340307
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>>12340197
I already know Dante but maybe I should finally get around to reading Les Miserable. And maybe Pay It Forward, too, thank you very much. Have a wonderful year, anon. The world could do well with more people like you.

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 00:24:10 2019 No.12340388
File: 89 KB, 1280x720, [Coalgirls]_Haibane_Renmei_13_(1280x720_Blu-Ray_FLAC)_[2A1D805E].mkv_snapshot_20.17_[2016.07.13_16.13.33].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12340307
Its been just over a decade since Ive read Les Miserables (I've been meaning to re-read it), but the sacrifice and determination of of Valjean still resonates with me al those years later. "Who Am I" is still the most beautiful part of the Broadway show.

I hope you have a wonderful year,
>the world could do well with more people like you
and you too obviously. desu.
;_;

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 02:00:54 2019 No.12340863 >>12335543 bro,i was in the same position you are in rn.My solution was drinking.while i dont recommend it,at least it made me get outside more.Thats how i met people who helped out of this shit

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 02:05:24 2019 No.12340889 >>12339491 Is this ironic or are you really this mentally challenged? Genuinely curious.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 02:05:40 2019 No.12340891 >>12339535 what is your obsession with portland?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 03:12:00 2019 No.12341216 File: 8 KB, 228x221, 1518118694815.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Why is everyone going on about things being bad. Things are not bad. Your brain might be, but you can fix it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 03:15:56 2019 No.12341239 File: 276 KB, 1990x762, 3b1eb09a78e3dc3218121682c055e4302371565174766985b1b9e5d5e2cf13b0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12341216 Fuck off, porky

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 03:32:56 2019 No.12341313 File: 208 KB, 800x534, 1543790090682.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12341239 >

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 04:04:33 2019 No.12341416

Have been awake the whole night. Had to go to work at 6 am. Feeling super tired. Not sure how to manage to go through the day. Would be still content if I had no work tomorrow. Life seemed to get better the last weeks but work is draining me out. Been reading Crime and Punishment and it somehow helps me to endure all this trouble.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 04:22:23 2019 No.12341466 File: 76 KB, 279x311, Capture9.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I am a very popular /lit/ poster, but I've never read a book.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 04:23:03 2019 No.12341475 File: 29 KB, 281x450, 1541810814359.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] My girlfriend is a total mess and I think that's why I love her so much I don't think I could be with someone who was well adjusted and normal

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 04:30:11 2019 No.12341500 >>12341475 Normal people are NPCs in the most literal sense of the word and they exist to save system resources, as there are only so many minds the simulation can handle.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 04:55:01 2019 No.12341556 >>12340889 >>12340891 >Portland is mad. Sorry nobody else thought vegetarian amphetamine abuse was a good plan, but I think people are hesitant about lifestyles started by Hitler, you know?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 05:31:42 2019 No.12341648 >>12335676 ughhh... yikes...

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 05:35:44 2019 No.12341656 >>12338017 based.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 07:59:17 2019 No.12341982 Dreamt all night last night. For the first time in over a year. Mind must have found something I was looking for. It was about everything. Change is in the air.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 08:05:47 2019 No.12341993 >>12341982 >Change is in the air. It's New Years anon, make a change in for the better.

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 08:16:41 2019 No.12342027

I've realised fundamentally that desire is the cause of all suffering. Hunger, thirst, etc. are all just biological process that run down and reward you when they're sated. Separating yourself from those rewards must be bliss. I'm trying to work out which one is more feasible to living a good life: total asceticism, a moderate, content lifestyle, or rampant hedonism.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 08:18:02 2019 No.12342034 God I want a giant mommy gf.

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 08:30:19 2019 No.12342065

Since arriving back from hospital the anhedonia has been merciless. I play all sorts of video games with heaps of acclaim yet get too bored to make it past one level, and literature leaves hardly a thing either. I sleep in the mid-day and have grand, abstract dreams which leave no impression, and lie on my side once awake to trim the last hours with shallow nonsense. I really hope I can get ECT this year because this is no way to live.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 09:00:02 2019 No.12342141 >>12342034 How tall are you? I have a friend that's 6' tall

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 09:06:34 2019 No.12342156
File: 172 KB, 1024x1024, 1546605170130.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12335464

It's amazing how after a lifetime of melancholy and saudade the thing that truly lifts my spirits and gets me up and out of bed every morning is seeing the same family of crows bring shiny trinkets to my porch after I fed their sick mom last summer. Wish they'd bring coins instead of soda can bits more often though..

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 09:11:21 2019 No.12342168 File: 925 KB, 500x247, crow snow car.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12342156 very cute.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 09:33:51 2019 No.12342223 File: 62 KB, 500x375, kot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12342156 comfy

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 10:08:53 2019 No.12342332 >>12342223 this is an awesome cat, thank u anon!

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 11:00:30 2019 No.12342536

>>12339021
I mostly photograph social events like workshops, wedding and birthday parties.
I don't really like doing it but I started a photography business because I want to be in the filmmaking business and being good at handling cameras and video editing is one way to get a headstart, and it's worked for me a bit.

> The only paid photography work I’ve done that I’ve actually enjoyed is concert photography.
I think I'll look into it.
It seems like something I could enjoy doing.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 11:49:47 2019 No.12342789 >>12338914 What is "myself"?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 11:58:18 2019 No.12342831 the loneliness.. it eats at you..

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 11:59:28 2019 No.12342835 >>12342065 try ketamine before ECT it really helped me

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 12:01:59 2019 No.12342844 >>12342156 Cute!!!

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 12:21:19 2019 No.12342930 I haven't written anything in months. Suppose I'm just uninspired. I should put myself out there more and find a girl. Get some new hobbies too. Yeah, I should...

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 12:21:53 2019 No.12342934 >>12340292 NICE

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 12:25:58 2019 No.12342955 >>12335477 was it good times or bad times

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 12:58:41 2019 No.12343127
File: 341 KB, 657x527, 1546307217919.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

is it possible to live off being an author?

Do I have potential? I want to go all in because my parents are starting to force me to get a job which I understand but i don't want to be a wagie for the rest of my life.

The boy's head beat to the sound of drums as he stood in the corner of the elevator descending into the red labyrinth with his hands frozen on the bar counting to one-thousand and staring below his feet, which situated a cracked glass sheet: in order that he may meet his father who's premature absence was responsible for his dysfunctional pre-teen psyche – the moods and behaviours he often exhibited towards others unfamiliar – and reclaim the life that once belonged to him a couple of years ago; he had not the faintest idea as to the reason for his summons in this particular location, as all he knew were the coordinates from the letter he had received not a few days earlier, nor for what purpose or extent the law was involved, but his faraway mother was his only concern, his passion, his zest, and for that he kept on.

As he was pondering his home, the elevator door jerked open, exposing a still hallway that veered with a bent to the left. He felt naked.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 13:06:37 2019 No.12343184 >>12335464 I long for death

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 13:18:45 2019 No.12343264 File: 354 KB, 820x1280, femlit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12343127 If you're half as creative as your average female and a tenth as productive as much then yes you can make an adequate living as an author.

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 13:40:13 2019 No.12343390

I figure I'd post some of my doggerel from years ago here because it will never see the light of day anyway.

Mind, circle of clearest water
Body, mountain of uninterruptable will
Action, fiery darts of decisive momentum--
Triangulated these are the unwobbling foundation of selfhood
Gathered, they surge, bold and manifest
Unfazed by puny trappings of resistance
Absolute in mastery, precise in attainment
Seamless in bond, propounded in force
Multiplicative in the range and depth of solution
Prone to shattering the restrictive contraptions of circumstance

These are my weapons
Deadly and foe-sundering

These are my armors
Impenetrable and stark

This is my answer and the clearing of the matter altogether
And the bringing of destiny
Created by my out-streched hands

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 15:45:56 2019 No.12344043 [DELETED]

Christ there's literally a book on every single politician, spy, high ranking officer, or diplomat that ever served in the U.S. or British government. I doubt most of these books would come to be were it not for subsidies. Who the fuck would read an entire book on Harold Macmillan?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 15:48:13 2019 No.12344057 >>12344043 Fuck Harold Macmillan went on to serve as prime minister so he gets a pass. Still my point stands. There's way too many books out there.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 15:49:11 2019 No.12344066 >>12344043 Who the heck is Harold MacMillan?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 16:39:32 2019 No.12344363 >>12342141 5'10"

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 16:42:27 2019 No.12344380 >>12342141 Same but she's more of a gilf

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 16:49:14 2019 No.12344431 File: 1.87 MB, 1100x1400, e3263b64303111.5acde17ec304f.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12335464 I don't think I cried and wished for an early death so much in my entire life.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 16:53:28 2019 No.12344455 >>12343390 I like this poem

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 16:55:08 2019 No.12344466 >>12344431 what's the matter anon?

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 17:29:30 2019 No.12344658
File: 2.59 MB, 4032x3024, IMG_20190104_151306.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

'Hello!' says Rhonnie; 'I'm here Yup!' She sets off on her journey; 'Yippie!' she walks through the plains. She journeys in journey land^tm - where the Sky is blue the grass is stomach length and green - and there are trees. 'Trees how fun!' Rhonnie is indifferent to grass.

Rhonnie follows the sun through the green grass under the blue sky.
She has a square body with short arms and a cowboy hat. Everyone loves to see her toss her hat at the baddies - she is a good throw.

Rhonnie feels every blade of grass under her toes, she doesn't wear shoes - there's no need, the ground is warmer than the air so her feet are happy and the ground is happy.

Good luck in your journey Rhonnie!

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 19:10:19 2019 No.12345263 I feel intimidated by my peers who are much smart and successful than I am. Even inferior. I just want to go sleep and never wake up.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 19:12:14 2019 No.12345274 You tried

Anonymous Fri Jan 4 19:42:03 2019 No.12345440

>>12335464
This is fucking it, if one more person makes a /pol/ thread then I am becoming a dedicated marxist (only excluding anti-religion).
I have been recently been convinced that right-wingers are a cancer to society and everything beautiful in the world, and should all be shot.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 19:45:26 2019 No.12345457 >>12345440 >dedicated marxist (only excluding anti-religion). You'll give up after a month.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 19:49:55 2019 No.12345483 >>12345457 Blake and Tolstoy exists, nothing is impossible. Freedom, ant-establishment and Jesus are all possible, I will probably have to quit Catholicism though.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 19:59:15 2019 No.12345518 >>12345483 Join based liberation theology

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 20:03:01 2019 No.12345544 I have this weird urge to go do things but end up shitposting all day. At least it'll be over soon and i wont be stuck shitposting all day. Go back to having a semi normal life free of shitposting very soon.

>>	sonya-chan Fri Jan 4 20:11:33 2019 No.12345587 >>12345518 it's perfect for me, thanks

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 20:16:00 2019 No.12345610 I feel completely incapable of living a normal life, but I don't feel entirely negatively about this

>>	Anonymous Fri Jan 4 20:59:08 2019 No.12345836 >>12342835 How? It's crazy expensive. You mean something other than infusions?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 00:44:13 2019 No.12347135 >>12339221 You're awfully angry even though you're agreeing with what he said.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 00:45:31 2019 No.12347142

>>12345610
Define normal. If it's anything to do with relationships, romantic or not, I can assure you it's a cope. I've been through the same. If by normal you are talking about the 'correct' path of life and contribution to the machine then by all means reject it. Just make sure you're ready to face the consequences and hardships that comes with it because with as much damage it does the the world and it's people, it's existence hinges on it as the path of least resistance

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 02:01:26 2019 No.12347496
File: 548 KB, 1920x1080, 9DE269F1-BA62-4708-8F8B-D0051583210B.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I wrote this really long and ranty post trying to sound intellectual but I think I just beat around the bush and made things grander then they seemed. I was just trying to convince myself that my dreams and goals weren’t foolish or wrong, just like anyone wants to be told.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 02:04:46 2019 No.12347505 File: 35 KB, 521x432, 1522010796341.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] People are needy. Be a stone.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 02:13:47 2019 No.12347545 >>12347496 How could you goals be 'foolish or wrong', anon?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 06:37:42 2019 No.12348297 Is there ANYTHING worse than being in love Nope

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 07:56:04 2019 No.12348521

>>12337977
Im doing Alfreds basic level one

Im learning with a keyboard i got given to me from someone who gave up on it. Dont care about how good i can maximally get, my goal right now is just to be able to play songs i like. Im learning jingle bells right now

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 08:16:18 2019 No.12348580

>>12345836
you may have to obtain it illegally in that case

that would mean $30 maximum

but do try it, before ECT

i tried it and it not only gave me a new outlook but also allowed me to enjoy it very much

it's by far the most effective antidepressant out there, and this is coming from someone who has been on antidepressants, TCAs, MAOIs, antipsychotics (in conjunction with other antidepressants)

ketamine gave me an optimistic mindset that i could physically act on and allowed me to get away from my habit of drowning in my sorrows

i do not recommend it however if you are one to get addicted or without self control, i only recommend it if it is administered by a healthcare professional, but if things are really bad,

what else can you do i guess..

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 08:23:48 2019 No.12348598

>>12343127

It's possible, I know people who have, but I'll be honest with you about that prose. I would not read that book. Unless your parents' friends work in a publishing house, the NYT reviews section (WaPo, Guardian...) or the TLS, nobody is reading that book.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 09:36:10 2019 No.12348844 [DELETED]

Fucked myself over by waiting to apply for grad school. Didn't realize that 70% of schools' deadlines are in like, December-February for the following Fall. So most likely I'll have to wait until spring 2020, by which time most of my good friends (including my closest) will have left the state anyway so it doesn't matter all that much if I have to move. Annoyed that I'll be close to 30 by the time I get a master's.

Also fucked up a majority of the hard category verbal sample questions in the GRE practice guide, which makes me even angrier because I was a fucking humanities student. What was the point of that if I can't even read well?

Otherwise, the year's off to a decent start. Things have been looking up more or less for the past few months, so that's a refreshing change of pace.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:10:26 2019 No.12348967

I’m a 25 year old female volcel NEET. I live in a cozy appartment of a massive inheritance and spend all my time reading books, internet forums/boards, and — most of all — masturbating. I own dozens of sex toys and have covered my entire appartment with pillows and blankets and matresses, effectively turning it into a giant bed. Many of those pillows are bodypillows and oversized oval/cylindrical pillows. I attach the dildos to the pillows and pretend the pillows are hot guys’ bodies. I put on videos of hot guys on multiple laptops (usually not porn, there’s very little porn with cute boys) and roll from “manpillow” to “manpillow” and fuck all of them for hours. I usually have a movie playing too. While this stuff happens I make lots of noise (loud media plus grunting and screaming) but my neighbors have never complained (I’ve never met anyone b t w, I rarely leave the appartment). I’m quite tall and skinny so I like to buy nice dresses online and LARP as a fashion supermodel (sometimes my self insert, sometimes others like Karlie) who’s approached at a big event by some people and is taken to a boy-harem and have my way with all the gigolos (pillows with dildos and vibrators).

I only leave my house if I really have to and haven’t had a proper conversation with anyone aside from my mom ever dince I started doing this about a year and a half ago. My life is nothing but self induced pleasure.

I know I’m a fucking nut, but this stuff actually feels real. The fantasy is ridiculously strong. I’m into lucid dreaming to and that helped me develop this incredible sense of simulated stimulation (self induced schizophrenia?).

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:13:51 2019 No.12348985 >>12348967 living the life

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:21:08 2019 No.12349023 Writing is a mess, it's the same shit as when I want to play a game. I work the idea up far too much in my head and then am disappointed when it turns out not to meet my expectations.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:23:29 2019 No.12349029 File: 39 KB, 474x600, 1543731394436.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12348967 >volcel You're not a vocel if you masturbate.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:25:03 2019 No.12349040

>>12348967

What the fuck. If that's how you want to live, more power to you, but have you considered that it won't last forever, and that forming connections with people is ultimately more fulfilling than this?

Alternatively you could go the extra mile and make a tulpa for yourself. Or a harem of them if you're especially depraved.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:26:23 2019 No.12349045 >>12348967 I'm surprised this is the first time I read about someone having a body pillow orgy. It makes too much sense now.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:27:10 2019 No.12349047 duds that's a pasta

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:28:50 2019 No.12349050 >>12349029 >if you masturbate you're not celibate sure, mate >>12349040 >Alternatively you could go the extra mile and make a tulpa for yourself. there would be literally no difference from the current scenario

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:30:08 2019 No.12349061

Every single day I wish my country would go to war so that I could experience it. I know it's petty to dream of something like that and wish for something that would bring misfortune to many people but It just feels like a clean break from this horrible life.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:30:50 2019 No.12349065 >>12349040 >make a tulpa for yourself. Or a harem of them if you're especially depraved. tulpas are sapient beings, not sex slaves

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:33:19 2019 No.12349078 >>12349065 They're a partition of your own mind, make them whatever you damn well please

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:39:21 2019 No.12349111

>>12349078
"your" mind? If there are multiple distinct consciousnesses which arise from it, it doesn't mean that the most developed one owns the brain

quite horrifying, to create something which at least gives the appearance of independent thought just for sexual stimulation. tulpas love unconditionally anon

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:48:18 2019 No.12349146 >>12349111 >tulpas love unconditionally anon Because you fucken made them do that

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:54:42 2019 No.12349179 >>12349061 "Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori" is bullshit, don't fall for it

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 10:57:54 2019 No.12349192 File: 301 KB, 1200x607, 1533771477634.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12349179 I don't have some nationalist sense of self-sacrifice. I just feel like there's something grand about war itself, rather than the reasons why it's fought.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 11:41:40 2019 No.12349351

It's no fun being depressed. It's not cool to be sad. The worst part is that people are very adept at finding ways to make themselves feel sad. It's like they make up their minds to be this way, and all the luxuries of living in the first world won't stop them.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 11:53:27 2019 No.12349389 >>12349351 >luxuries of living in the first world >implying a more primitive life isn't also happier sure, getting malaria and then dying of AIDS would suck, but at least you spend every day in nature and had sex

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 12:18:14 2019 No.12349518

>tfw no dreams, no ambition, living by circumstance
>feel like I’m wasting my time with literally anything I do
>sometimes I write a paragraph and think it’s so bad that I cringe at the idea of wanting to write something
>wish I was on psychedelics all the time

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 12:34:05 2019 No.12349614 >>12347545 I could never see them that way, but part of me wants validation that I’m not wasting my time, and energy. Which in itself I know is worthless, waiting for someone else to tell me that my dreams and goals are worth chasing.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 12:41:38 2019 No.12349660 I love my far right edgy emo friend who collects an arsenal of weapons. I don't know why but I think of him as essential. Even though he sure doesn't.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 12:48:42 2019 No.12349699

>>12349351
I do feel there is a whole," being sad is cool" trend among the youth. It's seen as a marker for profundity. There's a certain elegance and repose to sadness, like the daydreaming portraits of poets.
As someone predisposed to melancholie myself, I take affront to those who posers who claim to live the life but who don't experience it. Similar to how gangbangers take affront to those who rock the colors but don't walk and talk it.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 12:51:36 2019 No.12349710
File: 202 KB, 794x732, 1514749692112.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Nothing seems real when you wake up. The small reality check is needed for your body to assimilate what, in fact, is real. Ever thought about why we are quickly to forget our dreams? When you lack sleeping, this barrier cease to exist, nothing seems real anymore - you are never fully awake or fully asleep. Those who suffer from insomnia reside in a specie of existential limbo, waiting for their judgement to finish and the sentence served.
If you stare at the ceiling for too long, it stares back at you. I get up, silently. That brain confusion, resulted from getting up too fast after lying down for a long period of time, makes everything worse. I don’t remember what I dreamt about. Try to focus, but only random flashes appear. Something about my girlfriend I guess. One step after the other, muffled by my grey socks, lead me to the corridor. There is my girlfriend. And Gregory. She is kneeling on the ground, for only her bare feet are to be seeing. Why is Greg here? I thought he had gone home. And why is he scared now that he saw me? Her head jumps from beneath, a trail of saliva cutting through the air. They both are shouting right now.
Why would that make any sense? Statistically I was warned about getting into a relationship with her: no women can be satisfied after 10+ partners. But well... I thought we’d be an exception. Math never lies, huh?
The kitchen is cleaned from the partying yesterday night. There are no sign of the bottles and cans. Everything is so bright my head hurts. This white. Why is white the standard color for kitchens? Indeed they pass a sense of tidiness and cleanliness, but that only means it will be harder to clean the walls after a lasagna explodes or something. It looks like heaven. The circular light bulb even looks like a halo over my head.
Why are they shouting, trying to explain themselves? What is there to be explained? We were all drunk and she cheated on me with a guy we’ve just met. “What gives?”, I ask them, immediately ceasing the noise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into strange kinks of a decadent civilization, but there’s nothing to be done now, is there? That’s what happen when you try to play dices with Fortuna. They look at me, in shock. She’s half-naked and he’s holding his trousers with one hand while gesticule some nonsense with the other.
That’s how nature works. Try going against it and your reality becomes a house of cards, ready to fall from any light breeze of contradiction.
“Am I not mad?”. Would you be mad if a branch of a rotten tree falls into your head? It’s your fault for standing under it! Even if her fruits are so tasty - try looking for a healthier tree next time. But what if all the forest is rotten? You can’t plant your own tree, that would be a despicable act. Have you ever considered suicide? Cause that’s basically what you’re doing if you give up on the forest.
Now looking at her, I wonder how we met. I don’t remember anymore.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 12:55:03 2019 No.12349726

Toxic masculinity is destroying my best friends and I hate it. I am watching them fight at poker nights and constantly bad mouth each other behind their back, even though we have all been friends for over a decade, and I know enough about them all to know exactly why they want to act out. Yet they would rather throw a fist at the guy they waited in the lunch line with than to tell them things aren't good at home or that something has happened to them. The older I get the more I feel like my friends are looking at each other like opposition at a weigh-in, just somebody to compare themselves to and either feel validated or motivated by how they feel about themselves in respect, and I honestly don't have a clue how to stop this.

I wish we could all be sixteen again and none of them felt bitter about money or women or whatever the fuck it is causing these ridiculous divisions. How do I convince my friends it's okay to ask for and support each other? Why are men afraid to lift each other up but women aren't?

Am I just unironically a faggot?

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:03:49 2019 No.12349762
File: 2.73 MB, 480x270, 1545455014616.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My dad is literally Michael from GTA 5 except worse. He has a $130,000 a year job at AT&T and lives a miserly lifestyle in a profoundly messy decrepit house filled with cigarette smoke and empty liquor bottles and with 3 cats in a bad neighborhood. He dresses like a homeless man. He doesnt shower and when asked about this he says that it is "such an interruption to my routine" His hobbies include watching TV and engaging in debates with Catholics on the internet (He's a staunch sedevacantist). He's been divorced twice. I am the son of the second marriage, a woman from Russia who used to be an aerospace engineer and met him while online dating. After the trauma of the divorce she has been hospitalized eight times for depression and is being treated with ECT.

I remember going to a Catholic grade school, and I especially remember the young men and women there. There was a girl I had a crush on in fourth grade who looking back is basically the great granddaughter of Chopin and a polish aristocrat. Her family seemed functional, she played the piano, she had a brother, a sister, she was conscientious... She now dates the man that I first befriended on my first day in kindergarten... They have dated since fucking grade school and now its years later. I am not upset about this at all... This is not a jealously thing... That is not my point. My point is this young man was the most hardworking, humble, intelligent, kind, serious person ive known in my life. It seems everyone is now poisioned by irony and such but he remains sincere, profoundly intelligent, etc. I admire him deeply.

My new piano teacher is a cute asian woman.

Everyone says Céline is a caustic aggressive writer but I do not get.this sense. He seems very thoughtful and almost disappointed like Houellebecq.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:06:19 2019 No.12349772 >>12349726 If its truly bad, you wont be able to change it. Maybe salvage the good ones... But anyways perhaps there is still some sincere comraderie... Idk

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:07:10 2019 No.12349774 File: 18 KB, 640x480, 1533744898318.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12349762 >asian woman >cute

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:07:11 2019 No.12349775 >>12349726 >Am I just unironically a faggot? Yes. It's natural for males to compete against eachother. Denying that creates faggots like you, who thinks that any type of confrontation is personal.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:10:13 2019 No.12349789 >>12349774 Perhaps you are an invert

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:12:08 2019 No.12349793 I don't fucking read enough REEEEEEEEE

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:13:16 2019 No.12349802 File: 184 KB, 900x900, photo-7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] A colored light casts a shadow the color of its chromatic inverse. I love watching the light.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:13:58 2019 No.12349805 >>12349762 >He's a staunch sedevacantist based

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:16:28 2019 No.12349818

>>12349775
I compete with other men constantly I know that is natural, but these guys are my best friends I would never try and put them down or one up them. That has always been what we do as a group to other groups of cunts we don't like. I honestly thought that's just how groups of friends were suppose to work.

Are you telling me it's natural for males to compete so much that it's unnatural for them to have supportive friendships?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:20:16 2019 No.12349837 >>12349802 In a space ambiently lit by whiteish light, I should add*

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:24:26 2019 No.12349865 >>12349818 >Needing support I understand that having a group supporting eachother may feel good and cozy, but ideally a man stands by himself. Are they competing on everything, or are there certain things everyone agree on?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:25:07 2019 No.12349869 DRAGONS

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:27:01 2019 No.12349876 >>12349865 >but ideally a man stands by himself literal meme. americans were a mistake

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:29:43 2019 No.12349890 File: 44 KB, 958x960, 1540168821689.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12349876 I'm German

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:33:00 2019 No.12349904

>>12349865
There are things we all agree on and all enjoy but the thing that makes me post this is I have one friend who in the past couple of months just keeps trying to fight another friend for like making little comments when we play video games, that kind of dumb shit. And we all know him well enough to know he's

1. not that irritable and
2. not an alpha dude despite him now constantly trying to be that way

Like I really do get that as men we have to compete with other men. The problem is why these guys are suddenly turning on their friends

I really don't want to keep sounding like a faggot but like there are that many dudes out there you can be a cunt to why would you try and destroy your relationship with the only people that still want to see you regularly?

I can only see it as destructive even if it is natural. How does anyone benefit from that kind of attitude

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:36:38 2019 No.12349920

All that remains of what one can call romance in my mind is a one-time hook-up from five years ago. Such an intense connection, beautiful in its ephemerality. I've made love to several woman since and was in a relationship for about a year, but still nothing resonates as strongly.

She improbably resurfaces through the cesspool that is the internet, specifically twitter. After allowing my account to lay dormant for a few years, I've started posting inanities once again over the past couple of months. She will like about every third or fourth tweet I post. It is appropriate that she should- twitter was my pretext for meeting her. She had a modestly sizeable following of about 2000 when I met her (deservedly so, she's actually pretty funny) and she had liked and retweeted several of my own tweets, banal and terrible as they seem now. She was a friend of a friend and we attended the same party. Within five minutes of meeting her, I kissed her. I had never done this before but it felt so right. It remains the only time I've ever been certain that a woman found me attractive for the qualities I'd like to be found attractive for and vice versa. We spent the next few hours together talking, drinking, and making out. She was uncomfortable with making love the first time we met, which I understood and appreciated. It added to her allure, not just sexually but something beyond that. Something more pure and earnest. She left the party, but not before parting with one last, passionate kiss. We messaged each other a few times and made plans to see each other again. They fell through.

It was the end of the semester, she was transferring out of school and moving back to her hometown. I didn't pursue further. I was never certain if it was a missed opportunity or not, but I remembered her fondly nonetheless.

Now these pangs of nostalgia. Something approaching feelings of desire scale the walls of my psyche. I write out tweets in the hope of seeing her in my notifications. She likes thousands of tweets and follows hundreds of accounts, so it's impossible to say whether mine are distinguishable from the deluge she is exposed to on a regular basis. Nevertheless, I take comfort in the thought that perhaps she remembers our night together as fondly as I do. Maybe she feels the same pang of nostalgia and genuine feeling of affinity that I do when I show up in her timeline. This filtered and ambiguous interaction gives me at least the pale reflection of a feeling I thought I had long lost. Then comes the realization that this is just a highlight of my loneliness. My ultimate failure. The sickness inside me that recedes and retreats, but is never fully defeated. Then I try to think of another tweet.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:38:14 2019 No.12349927 >>12338619 Sounds like an asshole. I would suggest not being friends with him.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:43:51 2019 No.12349961 >>12349904 How old are you and your friends? People tend to get bitter as they age.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:56:49 2019 No.12350013 >>12349961 All around 26

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 13:59:25 2019 No.12350027 I'm traveling this year and super stressed about the flights of all things, I'm worried something will go wrong and I'll miss a connection or something. I hope once I actually set off it'll be fine.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 14:00:46 2019 No.12350039 >>12349890 americanism is a disease that has spread all over the west sadly

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 14:03:01 2019 No.12350044 >>12350013 So that's why. That's the age for constituting a family and spend energy on providing for it, not playing vidya. You are all grown ups and are probably just expressing your masculinity the only way you can, through vidya.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 14:04:13 2019 No.12350052 >>12350027 You'll be comforted once you behold the mass of idiots dumber than you are at the airport and realize that if they can make it to their destination somehow you will too.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 14:20:12 2019 No.12350143 >>12348598 What do you know?

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 14:22:34 2019 No.12350160

There's literally no one in my life to talk to about things I've read and the few discords I'm in people don't read anything either. I hate that I feel the desire to talk to people about literature when I have thousands of books that have immortalized people I can talk to in my mind.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 14:26:31 2019 No.12350185

>>12337977
Professional Musician here. It's literally never too late to learn to express yourself through music. You will always rise to the level at which you want to play. It's really the best thing about being single or unemployed. You just have more time to get there faster.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:00:00 2019 No.12350676 File: 205 KB, 578x412, ibirkdpkopqdjk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Just found out I'll have to wear glasses from now on.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:01:54 2019 No.12350688 >>12350676 There's nothing really wrong with wearing glasses.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:07:03 2019 No.12350730 >>12349614 >waiting for someone else to tell me that my dreams and goals are worth chasing. They are, anon. Why wouldn't they be? I'm sure that they're not too far out and crazy.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:16:29 2019 No.12350792 File: 73 KB, 218x231, 0492F234-5D01-4A22-A5DB-C6E75D52E3C1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12349920 this was really comfy to read anon. but i dont think she thinks about you

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:26:12 2019 No.12350862

15 at most, but I think 13. I am twenty. The body of a mature woman, face is clear and simple, a bust would be called aesthetic, simple yet refreshing, the behavoiur of a, granted, young, teenager.
Men are strong, we don't abandon principles quickly. In the face of danger we stand our ground. Values and virtue come to my mind when I think of the archetypal man.
Her voice is ike a thousand books for the reader. Her voice is like my knee to a stick. A river to a canyon. Mob and cult leader. Hammer and brick. Puppeteer.
Sick. Or a pervert. I don't know, I honestly don't think so, after thinking about it for more than a few times now. I'm not sick. Or a pervert. I don't think so, I honestly don't hope so.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:33:23 2019 No.12350904 >>12349920 >>12350792 Comfy read indeed, but I think a second thing might actually work if you really kissed her in five minutes and she didn't want to sleep with you the first night but wanted to meet again.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:35:40 2019 No.12350918 My life is empty and I'm surrounded by people who wish they weren't here either but also have nowhere else to be

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 16:37:18 2019 No.12350929

>>12337977
Amateur musician here who got a relatively late start (18). I haven't had formal lessons in my life, though obviously that would be tremendously helpful from the right teacher if you can ever afford them.

You can learn to do anything you want to do if you're disciplined enough. Don't underestimate how much time, work, and tedium goes into being a proficient musician though. My friend is currently in a jazz program and he persistently works at least 12 hours a day every day with the help of the best instructors in the world and he's still nowhere near where he wants to be with one semester left. He started playing the same age/time I did.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 17:19:35 2019 No.12351250

>>12350792
>>12350904

I appreciate your guys reading. I have no real expectation of anything coming of it, it was just something that had been weighing on my mind as of late. We are also fb friends and she has liked a few of my statuses over the years too. It was always just a welcome reminder of a nice time, now its just taken on a different form since I'm an old piece of shit (28) and live on my own.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 17:30:34 2019 No.12351354

I go through dialogues, ideas and amazingly detailed world-building within my head all day every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I have very vivid dreams that are vastly more interesting than real life.

But all of that goes poof the minute I sit down to write it and I'm left with this depressing thought knowing I'll never ever accomplish anything noteworthy and my existence is absolutely pointless.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 17:34:47 2019 No.12351382 File: 29 KB, 500x500, 1456856614926.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I plan on killing myself rather than disappoint my family one more time

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 17:37:47 2019 No.12351409 >>12349726 >"toxic masculinity" >muh feewings waa waa >reddit spacing >"am i just a faggot" Yes. You are. Find new friends if your current friends aren't good company.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 17:43:15 2019 No.12351449

>>12351382
You've got a mistake in your reasoning there, suicide would be a major dissappointment for your parents not only in you but in themselves as well as they would have failed to raise you. The rest of your family and friends (if you have any, but if you want to kill yourself you might be pretty friendless) would be very disappointed, too.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 17:44:15 2019 No.12351456 File: 14 KB, 208x250, intj.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12351382 Don't let your dad cuck you.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 18:37:25 2019 No.12351784 >>12351382 SUDOKU RESTORE HONOR TO FAMIRY

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 18:39:20 2019 No.12351797 I am arrested in my chair. It has become difficult to go outside for any purpose, and I am ashamed to show my face to anyone.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:17:32 2019 No.12352043

Posting here is basically self harm. There are a handful of interesting anons, but the majority of you are pseudointellectual twats so filled with resentment and irony it makes me wonder if there's any humanity left in you. I feel worse every time I fail to check my impulse to type 4chan.org/lit into the address bar when I'm bored and end up suckered back into this mire. Fuck you /lit/, tomorrow I'm going to figure out how to block this shithole in my router. I encourage the handful of decent anons to do the same, I'd hate to see you degraded by this place.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:19:15 2019 No.12352054 >>12352043 see you tomorrow

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:23:29 2019 No.12352084

>>12352054
yes yes "you're here forever". I've quit this site for several month stretches in the past. I'm only here now because I was bored and reached for the computer instead of the sketchbook. The reality is that anyone can leave this place, you just don't want to.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:27:45 2019 No.12352105 >>12350676 You could get contacts.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:33:22 2019 No.12352149

I am only twenty-four and have wasted so much of my life. Without proper guidance, jumping from one addiction to another somehow landed me here. Most of the past seven years are a blur. Every single day wishing for it all to be over. Until the day I met you. And you might never find out just how much you helped me. Thank you. You saved what is left of my life. Now I just have to live with the regret of all the people I could have been if you had only happened sooner. Nothing has ever hurt so much as this.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:33:53 2019 No.12352153

"Work hard" is capitalist propaganda the capitalists push in order to exploit capitalist supporting cuckolds. It's absolutely disgusting. I am a NEET and don't work hard on my own stuff. Everything is done leisurely and well, though. Even my vegetable garden doesn't require "hard work" when it's not under constraint of capitalist demand.

It just amazes me how many people parrot the "work hard" bullshit. Mostly Americans who take some weird pride in breaking their backs both physically and mentally for someone else. How can anyone not think beyond it or see it for what it truly is?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:38:22 2019 No.12352189 >>12352153 This but unironically. Stay strong bro. I think I'd be your friend IRL if I knew you.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:42:05 2019 No.12352219

>>12352153
>my hobbyist garden that exists for me and the produce goes all to me is less of a struggle than providing vegetables for hundreds of thousands of people who can't or don't have the time to do it themselves because they're specialized in another field of modern infrastructure
Also, your lack of working is contributing to other people having to work harder to carry your moocher ass.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 19:56:58 2019 No.12352343

>>12352219

People should go back to subsistence farming, then. An actual job with a purpose. Most people have bullshit jobs so this would at least give them a reason to work beyond strictly capitalist horseshit.

>>12352189

I said it unironically. I truly believe it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:00:40 2019 No.12352377 >>12352343 Mao pls

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:02:26 2019 No.12352387 >>12352219 >implying most of the activity of the modern economy is "carrying" anyone except the oligarchs delusional

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:04:28 2019 No.12352402

>>12352377
>Mao pls
misunderstanding this hard. If anything he talking about primativism and independent responsibility, the exact opposite of industrializing communalism

>>12352343
it won't work in a large scale though for the simple reason there are too many people and too many technological processes that life relies on, requiring specialization and alienation from the fruits of your labor (hate marx but his critique on capitalism is correct)

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:04:35 2019 No.12352404 >>12349762 If you were a woman you'd be a rabid misandristic bqhwyf

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:05:15 2019 No.12352409 File: 1.89 MB, 618x358, LA_Fireworks.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Like an oyster, the heart Must be alive just before it’s eaten. Improperly prepared, Consumption can result in an upset stomach.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:06:46 2019 No.12352419 There are a lot stupid people on this board. I'm surprised they can even tie their own shoes.

Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:15:04 2019 No.12352482
File: 833 KB, 1280x897, 1510042011500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12351449
My ex-gf talks to me, I think she pities me and knows I might just do it.
But I am just blowing off some steam. I wouldn't kill myself because this week my sister found out she's pregnant. And apparently the very first three months of a first pregnancy are very dangerous and more often than not end up in abortions. I'm gonna hold out until babby is born so my mom can cope with my loss better
>>12351456
My father cucked my mom, it's too late.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jan 5 20:27:09 2019 No.12352571 i am addicted to benadryl and i need to stop taking it. my bottle is empty and i didn't get another one but last time i tried to rid myself of this stuff i had bad withdrawals. it's not good for anyone but it is going to be hell to come off of

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 00:11:24 2019 No.12353959 >>12335482 Where can I get a good print of this

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 00:37:35 2019 No.12354067 Seroquel gives me the most fucked up dreams, but I kind of like it. It's also helped me stop smoking weed to fall asleep, which eliminated my dreams entirely.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 00:47:31 2019 No.12354112 >>12353959 not sure where you live but any place that sells prints for posters will have a few bouguereau's mixed in with the usual jimmy hendrix/eiffel tower/the two lesbian chicks making out pics

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 00:55:31 2019 No.12354140 white pussy is for black cock

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 01:05:51 2019 No.12354186 File: 144 KB, 900x789, 1545803550311.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12352571 You can do it Anon. I believe in you

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 01:09:29 2019 No.12354195 >>12354140 Damn bro how's the zorp life treating you? Try touching down to earth once in a while

Anonymous Sun Jan 6 01:09:35 2019 No.12354196

>>12352153
I love seeing freaks of nature athletes parrot this bullshit constantly. Also, anyone who ever really did anything worth noting in human existence was creative and worked smart, not hard. Absolute retards work hard. "huuur I sleep 5 hours a night and am sleep deprived so my brain doesn't fucking work and I have no regular schedule for when I eat so my circadian rhythm is fucked and I'm constantly stressed. Im definitely going to be rich and not die of a heart attack or suicide by age 40."

Anonymous Sun Jan 6 02:14:36 2019 No.12354422

I try to quench my unctrollable sadness and depression through acts of alcohol abuse and the pursuit of sins of the flesh. I used to have a more decent and well put together life but now it’s just a path of pleasurable self-destruction with no bearing, no course, no destination.

I feel trapped but I’ve willing let myself continue to sink and sink.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 02:18:00 2019 No.12354430 >>12354186 thanks jesus

Anonymous Sun Jan 6 02:24:46 2019 No.12354454

There's something I only realized about myself recently, which is that girls socialize with me really easily. It's not a sexual thing, or because I'm handsome or anything I don't think. It's just, even in my last year of high school when I didn't try and make friends or acquaintances at all, I still had a lot of girls that would chat with me by the end of the year, as opposed to almost no guys. There was even one group project where I went to this girl's house with her friend to her room in the basement yet somehow I wasn't an awkward presence. I suppose you might imagine me like a stereotypical gay guy, but I'm just polite and quiet really.

Apologies for being self-indulgent, I just wanted to share it with someone. I doubt it's a huge deal anyways.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 02:55:20 2019 No.12354535 >>12354454 >I just wanted to share it with someone. I used to always hang out with girls more often, too. I think it's because I always wish I had a sister so needed a surrogate or something.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jan 6 08:12:56 2019 No.12355464 I love the way the smell of her pussy lingers on my fingers for the entirety of the next day

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/lit/ - Literature