Write what's on your mind.

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Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:05:14 2018 No.12294372 [Reply] [Original]

Write what's on your mind.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:05:50 2018 No.12294373

Man I'm thinking some really messed up shit right now, like if people could read my thoughts they'd probably run away screaming. Some people underestimate what I'm capable of, they just don't know. Then again, they underestimate just how patient I am. Sometimes I think I could really save humanity, other times I think I just might show them the dark grim truth that they're weak, the bottom of the food chain, how easily they can be destroyed. But I think it's better they find out for themselves, humans out there killing themselves off instead of helping one another...while I sit behind a rainy window looking on with a knowing smile...I warned them. But they're just too vain to listen. And I sit and wait for them to come to me in revenge, revenge on their once-friend who they turned their backs on, their prophet, their stoic... they don't want to mess with me, they better watch their backs.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:26:33 2018 No.12294415 >>12294372 Not much. Hope I'll become a better person this 2019. Probably I'm not gonna make a list of things I have to do in order to improve since Ialway miserably fail within the first week

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:34:31 2018 No.12294432
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>>12294372
I'v been thinking how to improve /lit/. Feel free to add some suggestions or disagree.

First off more words should be in the filter. Then we just go straight text board. Anybody with /pol/ in their history cannot post. There needs to be a shift in board culture in how we deal with retards. i've noticed when any political shiit comes up, the ignorance is fucking insane. You can disagree with Marx or Smith or whoever but atleast read them first. Even just wikipedia would do.

Probably the most unpopular but all bible stuff goes to /his/.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:35:13 2018 No.12294434 File: 30 KB, 360x480, Amazing_atheist_fedora.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12294373

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:36:29 2018 No.12294440 >>12294432 Theological and paranormal discussion should go to /x/. It's essentially supernatural discussion.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:37:08 2018 No.12294444 >>12294432 >Probably the most unpopular but all bible stuff goes to /his/. Why ? The blatant atheist threads should be banned if anything. You can tell these people are just trolls

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:37:54 2018 No.12294449 >>12294432 >Anybody with /pol/ in their history cannot post. You know that you can clear your history and cache, or just have them not be recorded at all, right mom?

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:41:57 2018 No.12294462

>>12294444
Well according to christians and some historians it all happened. Seems more like a history discussion. Plus those threads just end up being christfags vs fedoras.

>>12294449
It's more about cutting down the amount of posters from there. It wont cut it off, but reduce it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:44:05 2018 No.12294478 >>12294462 The Bible is a book you doofus. Threads like pic related should be banned.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:45:26 2018 No.12294483 File: 156 KB, 535x949, IMG_20181227_134258.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12294478

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:48:23 2018 No.12294494

>>12294478
But the bible isn't literature. It gets its significance from its history and only its history. Compare it to other books that are literature and they are literature because of the writing or it was the first and was influential. the importance of Moby dick vs Bible in a literary sense isn't comparable

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 07:53:18 2018 No.12294507 >>12294494 Herman Melville uses biblical allusion throughout Moby-Dick.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 08:01:22 2018 No.12294527 When I see a sadposting anon I wish that I could consul him and talk to him and hug him and make him feel better. I wish I knew how to really help people.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 08:46:43 2018 No.12294641 I went 3 weeks without any porn but yesterday I relapsed. Went to gelbooru and fapped 5 times. Now I have to break the cycle all over again, what a bother.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 10:25:30 2018 No.12294938

Well guys, the story of my tooth infection has gone from bad to worse. Six days after it began, the swelling in my face has transformed into a bulbous mass around my jaw, and since the antibiotic I took (Clindamycin) had no effect at all, my next step is likely Incision & Drainage, because if this thing starts slipping down my neck it will quickly turn life-threatening. The issue here is I'm broke at the moment, and I might have to do something bizarre like call up all my family for the cash needed for this thing. Unless something like that works out, I don't know what will happen.

This is the first time I've been confronted with my mortality. I'm 20 years old.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 11:24:31 2018 No.12295142 Remember when repealing net neutrality was going to blow up the universe? Same for climate change.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 11:25:55 2018 No.12295149 >>12294938 Fucking retard

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 11:27:03 2018 No.12295154 >>12295149 I want to know why you posted this, but I don't believe you'll ever tell me.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 11:30:32 2018 No.12295173

For the first time in my life I'm starting to make real connections with people that go beyond the acquaintances of convenience I've mostly let fall aside as time has moved on. I'm just terrified now that I'm going to do something stupid and wind up ruining everything for myself one way or another. Interacting with other people has never been easy for me, but it feels like I've really been "coming out of my shell" or however you'd like to say it over these past few months. There's just always that nagging feeling of impending disaster hanging in the back of my brain. I dunno.

Anyways, merry Christmas, happy holidays, and have a happy new year, anons.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 11:39:14 2018 No.12295202 >>12294432 >t. has only been posting here since late 2016 Stop fucking with board culture if you're a newfag

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 11:48:10 2018 No.12295238

>>12294938
Literally the same thing happened to me. Oral antibiotics didnt work and i was also scared because i needed a maxilofacial surgeon to do the drainage and those guys are not cheap in my country. Furtunatly what worked for me was inyected antibiotics. But before that my dentists partially drained it from outside just pushing the mass under my neck, i had luck because my mass was not so hard.
That happend like six months ago when i was 19 yo nd i also felt scared. Just do everything you need to get healthy again and dont doubt asking others for help.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 12:02:07 2018 No.12295284
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>>12294372
Some days trying to figure out what to do when there's no one to tell you what to do besides yourself is the most agonizing task of them all.

Other times that's the best it can be. Today I'm trying to decide what sort of day that is. I've already had my lifetime supply of shitty days, but I know the world seems to always have more on offer. So what'll it be, me?

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 12:15:42 2018 No.12295345

When I was ~16 and realized my parents were both shits who didn't love me, I was okay with it because they're both sick in their heads each in their own way. Time went on and I got a girlfriend for 2 years, now broke up, I now begin to realize now that the problem is that I dont have anyone I can love.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 12:22:13 2018 No.12295368

just had a laugh over the idea of batman getting a canary as a pet and getting really obsessed with taking care of this canary and then at the end of the story lex luther reaches in the cage and crushes the canary and it's very dramatic for batman but he ultimately doesn't really do anything about it because it was just a fucking canary.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 12:22:56 2018 No.12295371

Wrong side of the bed today, damn. I really like that expression, wrong side of the bed. Because it captures a truth about life. And that's that it's sensitive to initial conditions.

When you wake up on the wrong side of the bed it means some initial condition negatively biased the path of your chain of moods and experiences over the course of the day, causing you to color in everything happens with a negative tinge. In similar fashion an entire lifetime, if you enlarged it to be one day sort of like that whole metaphor with childhood being morning, adulthood day, and so on, you can see why people who experienced childhood abuse seem to always be a bit upset about something despite whatever may be going on in their lives good or bad.

It's one reason why society implicitly confers children a special treatment, partly because society is attempting to protect not what what the child presents in itself, but what the child represents in the future as an adult. This is also why child abuse is seen as doubly a moral wrongdoing.

Some people only live in the present, and while some philosophies like interpretations of buddhism stress living in the present, a deep ignorance also springs from living too much in the present. There can be no planning, foresight, or recollection. So how am I supposed to know what's right when my mind is one place and my body another?

I can't just simply sit down and do something, because my mind will be pulling at me to do something else. I can get to work, but I'm conflicted about doing that. I don't want to waste another second, but I have too much i could be doing and all of it seems equally approachable.

The solution has always been for me to write when I am like this, which is exactly what I'm doing and is the only thing helping.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 12:25:37 2018 No.12295387 >>12294938 This seems bad, but I can't represent it to myself visually. Can you post pic?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 12:43:38 2018 No.12295445 File: 65 KB, 850x400, quote-to-fall-in-love-with-god-is-the-greatest-romance-to-seek-him-the-greatest-adventure-saint-augustine-36-33-75.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12295345 God.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 12:48:10 2018 No.12295467
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I feel like I want to go on a rager today, as rage can be holy. When you have nothing to do, do something meaningful. It just means that you may find yourself doing things completely off the track of the hedonistic rails set up for anybody, or engaging in any number of pointless activities, but your fetching some fragment of the world your soul needs to grow.

I need to stand in the middle of the woods and hear the crows.

I need to pet a wolf.

I need to sleep out in the cold.

I need to do a thousand things to re-wild myself or keep living with this empty modernist soulessness, and yet the tractor beam of civilization always calls to me back again and again. Things you can't help but wanting more of. The greasy shine of money. The beauty and refinement of desirable people, sin and stimulation and the human onslaught.

I try to keep a foot in both worlds and try to countenance them, but it's insoluble. I want modern technology but more primitivist conditions, but here I am still in the condition that have been set for me by circumstance.

I want to wander around in the hills like a feral man and then come home to my internet. In my heart still I feel the hills are fighting the internet.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 13:00:55 2018 No.12295531 Some Anon mentioned Lord Byron in the last thread so I checked him out. I liked some of his poems and I'd like to get a book about him, any recommendations? There's a bunch of them.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 13:13:07 2018 No.12295584 >>12295154 How the fuck did you let a tooth infection get this bad? You're a 20 years old male who's afraid to go to the dentist. You're worse than a retard.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 13:22:58 2018 No.12295633 >>12295584 Pride is a helluva drug.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 13:25:15 2018 No.12295642 >>12295584 poor people don't get the same sort of treatment that mickey mouse club kids get.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 13:38:25 2018 No.12295708

>>12295238
Thank you anon, I appreciate the suggestions.
>>12295584
I haven't had insurance for years since I was a minor, but back then my family was in shambles, dad always unemployed, cars not working, fighting all the time, and I'd have to plead for days to get a ride anywhere. Of course I should have done it then, but these things escape us anon. I have felt tooth pain a handful of times these past years, twice this year, and only now has it become something horrible. Call me retarded if you like, but these are simply mistakes all people can make, and you shouldn't be so vindictive.

Also, I don't think you quite get what happened with the infection. Since getting it a week ago, I took all the correct steps, but it's unfortunately not going away easily.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 13:58:58 2018 No.12295817 File: 267 KB, 637x360, 1505419189204.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12295708 I wish I had money to give you.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:07:25 2018 No.12295850

>>12294372
I'm think about how to solve the problem of life. Life as it is lived.

My working hypothesis now is: identify something truly meaningful to you and militate towards bringing it about. Find something that really matters to you and work towards it, and everything else in life will fall into place according to its own spontaneous secret logic at a level to which you are worthy and in a manner that may not be exactly what you pictured or expected.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:08:27 2018 No.12295854 >>12295850 >I'm think about how t I also be think about how to proofread my 4chan posts.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:10:18 2018 No.12295860 >>12295854 fuck off, fed

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:10:37 2018 No.12295863 >>12294372 I’m disconnected from my reality, don’t know what to do with myself, and don’t want to do anything with myself

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:14:24 2018 No.12295875 >>12295850 You know what, "militate" doesn't mean what I want it to mean. It means to prevent something forcefully, but I'd rather prefer it meant work towards making something happen forcefully.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:15:13 2018 No.12295878 >>12295708 Sorry for the language anon. I apologize. You should be careful with your health though. Save up, borrow, do whatever. You don't fuck with these things.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:18:38 2018 No.12295891

>>12294938

I feel anon. I lost my job right, one of my friends was killed and my girlfriend dumped all around Thanksgiving. On top of that I have a grim skin infection on my leg and now I have no insurance. And one of my good friends that I was leaning has basically given up on me. At the moment I have no motivation to do anything at all with myself. Hopefully after the New year is over the trades will pick up so I can at least do something to pass the time.im just lost as fuck at the moment.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:20:24 2018 No.12295903

>>12294372
I wish I were able to enjoy life again. I let myself become far too attached to that girl, and now I'm paying the price. It wouldn't be so bad if I could at least blame someone or something else, but no. It's all my fault. And the worst part is that the changes were easy to make. I was just so sure that things were better than they were. I only started putting my life together for her once it stopped mattering. So sure that it would last 'til death did us part.

It's been two months, and I've already been used as a rebound twice. I honestly don't see the point. What's more, I think she actually hates me now, along with my family and everyone else in my life. Now I can't even escape to the hobbies I used to enjoy. I'm afraid to die, but I just can't see any point in dragging on through the days anymore. I feel soulless without this girl, I never knew how much I depended on her until it was too late. I wish I didn't rely on women in order to feel anything but sadness.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:30:10 2018 No.12295948 >>12295903 Never over rely on a woman. When they see at your lowest and weakest it just pushes them away. I learned it the hard way. Even if you manage to drag yourself out of the depths they'll never look at you the same way again.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:31:52 2018 No.12295956 >>12295948 I know this now, but it's too late. It already happened.She was with my through my entire adolescence, it's a fundamental flaw in my personality, or at least what little of one remains.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 14:35:55 2018 No.12295976 >>12295642 this. some animals are more equal than others

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 15:03:23 2018 No.12296111 >>12294372 Chinaaa! China! China. It's up to you to save the world. Do the right thing. Only you have the power, coordination, and singular collective will to do it.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 15:24:52 2018 No.12296200
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>>12294372
I'm wondering a lot about morals.
I'm thinking to myself that the movement to increase the amount of social safety net in america and the increased willingness among the youth to embrace socialism is really bad.
This is not because socialism is inherently bad. The nordic countries had some epic decades with it, and it was hygge and good, ikea meatballs and karl ove knussgard can attest to this. Abba gold album too. But if america pulled it it would not be good.
These countries have a heritage of morality. When the nazis took over denmark they said all the jews needed to wear stars, the king went on the radio and said "the jews are danish- the danish are jews." And all the danes wore stars and walked around outside and the nazis couldn't differentiate shit. I want you to imagine americans ever doing anything like that. We don't stick up for anyone. Our values go out the window as soon as we're confronted with any challenge to them.
Seriously, look at our bill of rights. Bill of rights is acceptable as a declaration of a national moral code,. You got speech- as long as one of the special people don't like your speech. You got guns- as long as the guns aren't too good at being guns. No bump stocks or full auto, those guns are unacceptable. Quartering of troops is historically irrelevant but I guarantee you if the troops needed quartering we'd end up quartering them. probably the government would try to get you to let them fuck your wife. Unreasonable search and seizure- cops can take all your money, the government can tune in to your phone and internet history without a warrant. Speedy trial? I dunno let's ask one of our glut of convicts. Excessive punishment? Go get caught with some drugs see how that goes for you. They will fuck you up.
It's fine, I just wonder why we bothered posturing like this if we were just going to throw it all out the window as soon as it wasn't perfectly easy to have these things.
So I see this spoiled, entitled college kids chanting for socialism I think it's going to go a lot more like venezuela than denmark, you know? I don't trust them. They don't trust me. Neither of us trust the government. Fuck you. We invented "Motherfucker."
We have had federal troops shooting at students before, Urban outfitters sold a sweater about it.
We are way more like one of those sick fucks down south then we'd like to admit, maybe the demo is just shifting to reflect that.
I think about how god punishes sinful cities, and I think about the bullshit herecy posted all over 4chan related to orthodox christianity (invented in 1999 btw), I think about the guy that cuts me off on the highway, I think about people blatantly fucking each other over, I think about all the moral questions we consistently fail on as a group, and I don't think it's going to be ok in the end. I don't think we'd need all this relentlessly optimistic propaganda about america if anyone else really believed that either.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 15:26:55 2018 No.12296208 >>12294494 > It gets its significance from its history and only its history. Really stupid fucking opinion.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 15:27:44 2018 No.12296214 Is there a race more noble than the Inuits?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 15:29:22 2018 No.12296224 >>12295142 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct2Byjisplk

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 15:31:34 2018 No.12296233 >>12296214 They made every tool and vehicle and article of clothing out of flesh that's metal as fuck

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 15:55:46 2018 No.12296335

I am getting a ton of matches on tinder and I have no trouble getting cute girls to agree to a date but then when it comes to hashing out the details they just start taking forever to respond or ghost me. I'm guessing they have like 30 other guys messaging them. Frustrating af, but I guess it's a numbers game... eventually one of these girls will actually want to do something.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:02:00 2018 No.12296358 File: 7 KB, 205x246, download.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12296335 >2 months >4 matches

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:18:16 2018 No.12296450 >>12296358 this is was me too before I actually got some good pictures of me traveling and doing stuff with other people. If you have pictures of you with other girls in a group setting this is very important.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:19:11 2018 No.12296452 >>12296450 dude i don't even have pictures of myself with anyone except my family

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:21:59 2018 No.12296465 >>12296452 neither do I actually but nobody can tell the difference between a cousin and a friend

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:24:45 2018 No.12296482 >>12296465 >tfw closest relative to my age is 12 JUST

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:26:56 2018 No.12296492 >>12294372 My brothers going blind, my sister is going blind and is deaf, my dad is arthritic, my mum is anemic. I’m ok. Life is tragic.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:30:40 2018 No.12296510

These threads are too sad, nobody ever writes long posts on how happy they are with their life or how they have witnessed something beautiful in this day. It is always interesting reading what people have to say, I just wish everyone was happier and better off.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:31:59 2018 No.12296519 >>12296510 Thank you, anon. I will try to be happy for you.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 16:41:54 2018 No.12296577

>>12296510

I've turned 30 this year, and things are finally starting to turn around. I've managed to get better rates at my shitty SEO copywriting gig, I'm moving out from my parents place to a pretty kickass apartment, and I'm planning to ask a girl out on New Year's Eve.

On the downside, my country has really gone to shit, and few people seem to be willing to do anything about it, even thouigh we are reaching third-world levels of poor. Hopefully once I get my life on track, I'll be able to do more than just preach leftist philosophy to random people.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 17:14:27 2018 No.12296726

>>12296510
I've been gf-less for at least three years and started to feel like many of the sadposters in these threads (I sadposted a few times desu senpai) but I've met this girl last summer, well-read and everything, and although I don't think I "love" her (I think she does) I can't stress how good it feels to matter this much for someone. I know it's a bit ridiculous to match happiness with having a girl but it really isn't nothing. Also since I quit translation studies to do research in the humanities I feel much better about myself and my future (even if granted, I won't have much of a future). Life can be good, and it is always beautiful. Also the last Delillo is really good

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 17:37:54 2018 No.12296856
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>>12296510
Life isn't so bad, at least where I live. As long as I have plenty of books and somebody to share them with I don't need, or would ever want much else. And I'm already halfway there.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 18:00:35 2018 No.12296976 >>12296510 In the last year I've lost over 100lbs and gotten stronger than I have ever been in my life, I'm richer than I've ever been and thanks to some self-therapy I feel much better than I have in perhaps the last ten years. Hope this helped.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 18:26:47 2018 No.12297110 >>12296577 what country you from?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 18:37:50 2018 No.12297168 >>12297110 Any European country I suppose My money is on cara vecchia Italia, porcodio

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 18:47:17 2018 No.12297211 File: 99 KB, 1200x1200, boc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] listening to terence mckenna is more addictive than weed, and weed is pretty fucking addictive

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 19:00:23 2018 No.12297263 >>12297110 >>12297168 serbia actually. i've heard things are not well in italy, but they're still way ahead of us in terms of quality of life.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 19:23:26 2018 No.12297357 >>12294432 Reddit is here Hello

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 19:36:05 2018 No.12297414
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I feel an intense alienation from our culture and I do not think I am alone. It feels as if noone is guiding the ship now, and we are all living in the past, or separate pasts. There is no dignity in the present day, and very few people seem content with it. We live other lives it seems, we are divided people, and everybody knows it, and everybody sees it in one another, and nobody acknowledges it, this substance of the present day, and everybody looks away from it. How is this any way to live? Ignoring what sits directly before us? I hate myself. My life as a story told is ugly and pathetic. And I don't know anyone who feels any difference. To tell of our lives today is to tell of shame.

Unless it's always been this way.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 19:46:42 2018 No.12297461 I'm scared. I hope that everything turns out well. It most likely won't but it might not be so bad. Merry Christmas anons.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:02:02 2018 No.12297516 >>12297414 >feels alienation and disconnection >posts a gif with an alien hitting a bong Gee I wonder what could be the issue here.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:04:35 2018 No.12297529 >>12295345 Being a young single guy without any social network/support system will make you realize just how disposable we are to society. I miss my normalfag days in college. It only gets worse from here.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:20:03 2018 No.12297586

>>12297414
Watch some Adam Curtis. He dissects the kind of atmosphere you're talking about, with a few incoherent generalizations but still getting at some fundamental truths: Hypernormalisation is a good start, it's free on Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh2cDKyFdyU

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:35:44 2018 No.12297658

>>12297586
I've seen this. I watch and Adam Curtis documentary and get the vague notion that he is sort of onto something but nothing really is learned, nothing stays, and I certainly do not find any solution to this alienation at large.

>>12297516
What? Drug use? Irony?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:46:21 2018 No.12297699 File: 109 KB, 785x1017, smug wendy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12296450 >tfw handsome enough that it doesn't matter

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:48:27 2018 No.12297708 >>12297658 Not him but you probably want Charlie Brooker. He's angry but hilarious. https://youtu.be/JuOA88Q5q-U You might learn things despite expecting not to

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:49:33 2018 No.12297711 >>12296510 I'm content with my life. Am enjoying coffee right now. :)

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:51:44 2018 No.12297716 >>12297708 the bookdrum sheet looks like a meme and it creeps me out

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 20:53:07 2018 No.12297724 >>12297716 >Implying fear has not been ruined by TV https://youtu.be/jqeBcvHhA9M

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:06:09 2018 No.12297761 >>12295903 In a similar situation. I'm trying not to see that girl ever again lest my soul be crushed more than it already is.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:07:09 2018 No.12297766 >>12297724 The first 2 minutes of that video might be the pinnacle of hypocrisy.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:09:03 2018 No.12297777 >>12297766 You haven't even got to the invention of electricity or Steve Gutenberg saving the world

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:13:47 2018 No.12297798

I've been thinking about the idea recently that, as white person it would apparently be racist for me to say I'm proud to be white. While being a non-white and saying you're proud to be is celebrated and seen as strong and progressive. At least in my head canon of what is considered political correct in the western zeitgeist.

But how about this - pride is a sin. Shouldn't we as humans take no joy in asserting our individual cultural traits? But at the same time I personally believe that borders should be a thing and serve a purpose, am I a hypocrite? Not sure how to digest this

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:17:05 2018 No.12297812 File: 78 KB, 640x480, 657606.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12297766

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:27:26 2018 No.12297846 >>12297798 it's literally the jews playing with your head

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:28:35 2018 No.12297850

>>12294372
Sometimes I get so bored with being human. With being an animal. Eating and shitting and pissing and fucking and fighting and talking and reading and thinking in the human frame, the human mindset. Is technology at the level that someone can at least try being a brain in a vat yet?

Transhumanism has all kinds of ideas about escaping the human condition, but they remain just that, ideas. And I do think I'd miss being a cuddly monkey at times--the simple things about being human that feel like they matter.

You know what else matters? Becoming pure information and some kind of universal mind unity.

Various futurist imaginings have a take on this. Teilhard de Chardin had his notion of the omega point, in which the entropy of the world eventually consolidates into God, and that God comes at the end of the universe rather than the beginning. There's also also the whole technological singularity line of thinking and there's an overlap between the two ideas.

That's not enough to go off by itself. And there's something unethical about this whole line of thinking that technological transcendence is the only way out. What if someone choose to live out their days as a human? They certainly have that right.

Even then if humanity is at some risk of extinction this century as some very smart people believe, and the alternative is climate collapse or ww3 leading to global annihilation, then uploading yourself into the universe doesn't sound half bad.
Still like how do you do it lol

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:34:09 2018 No.12297866 >>12297850 >I'd like science without the margin of error and unpredictability bits >I'd like to not be considered pure information by science right now, I'd like that to be different to my current state Maybe try sci-fi gen, science isn't for you

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:39:38 2018 No.12297885
File: 985 KB, 1000x773, nobody-likes-a-goblin-interior-ben-hatke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12294372
I remember when I was thirteen and I really liked this girl. It was extremely innocent and at best I just wanted to hug her and hold her hand. We stopped being friends and I kinda lost that romantic wonder. It came back somewhat briefly a year or two ago and I didn't realize it with my last girlfriend.

Recently, I reconnected with that girl I had a crush on and remembered that child like wonder I had thinking about being with her one day. And now that I'm actually dating that girl currently? It feels honestly empty. I care about her sure, but that wonder, that pull towards a person, being content with just having them there that I've only felt a handfull of times... It's not there.

I wonder if I'll ever feel it again.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:45:25 2018 No.12297909 >>12297850 I will restore the dragonsphere

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:46:07 2018 No.12297914
File: 973 KB, 498x250, tenor.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12297885
I miss being a kid. 'dating', if you could even call it that, was so fun and carefree. Even through high school, having a crush, or a girlfriend was a wonderful thing. Sometimes I feel sorry for the anons who never experienced childhood romance, but then again I envy them, because you can't miss what you've never had.

Dating as an adult just feels like a chore. Everybody is so cynical about it.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:50:12 2018 No.12297925
File: 76 KB, 618x410, bear1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I have only recently begun browsing /lit/ looking for inspiration and tips for being a better writer. My reading catalog is enough to impress the average person, but I feel as though it is a summer reading list to the average /lit/ poster.

Currently, I am pouring through the sticky. The meme advice to start with the Greeks seems logical. They are the basis for Western thought, might as well begin there. I am reading Mythology by Edith Hamilton. So far, it has provided an excellent overview of the Greeks.

I do have some trepidation on continuing through the Iliad and Greek philosophers such as Plato and Socrates due to the dense language of them. I feel that it could be a pain to get through them and I might miss something because of a lack of understanding.

Overall, I am very glad that I found this place. Think back to what it was like when you first discovered the joy of reading and the pleasure to write your thoughts down. There is some frustration that I cannot write to the caliber that I desire, but I am working on improving. As always, I constantly look for suggests on how to better myself.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:52:15 2018 No.12297933

All the joy has been sucked out of me. I don't know when it happened, or how long its been. It feels like nothing brings me happiness or pleasure anymore. Even the things I love, they can't even prop me up or keep me from feeling utterly miserable anymore.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:52:49 2018 No.12297936 File: 7 KB, 250x250, 1537749949853s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12297914 i miss what i never had.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:53:02 2018 No.12297937 >>12297933 Same

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:54:32 2018 No.12297941

>>12297885
It sounds like you are chasing your Anima. You are chasing this idea of a perfect woman. When you are in a relationship, you begin to see her flaws and shortcomings. The ugliness of her persona is revealed and kills the idea of a perfect woman that you had in your mind.

Of course, it is also possible that you just are not right for each other. Only you can know though.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:56:16 2018 No.12297950 >>12297936 I have become numb to this and the thought of dying alone. It no longer scares me. Time will tell if this a good thing or not.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 21:58:09 2018 No.12297954

>>12294527
Well it might make me something I wish not to profess to here, but what I see is a mark in a sadposter; and it occurs to me more often than not that I could do by him much better than he does by himself and surely better than those like me that see his particular malleable properties and thus seek out some end. Mine being of mostly a compassionate nature, I think my seeming to be an antagonist the due fit as it is that I by temperament do tend towards less erudite examples than might be a decent fellows path to town, that stopping along the way in my manner of verbose imparticularities to smell any old daffodil, or for Christ's sake, a snort of bread baking...stout or whiskey and a frisky lady with a tang of salted watermellon and ashes if the Devil is to give the whoreson Wether some pause in their wallowing. I don't ascribe to myself much service to mankind, but I am selfish in wanting others not to lay about in misery while I'm trying to propagate the land and till some new soil. And truly, whoresons be damned anyhow, and I include myself among them though they find a thousand reasons in whatever heaven is displayed to them to have me an angel or deamon or worse, (not that my likeness is as His, nor do I take time to compare to those ideals); yet my bedamnedness is no concern to my task as I have learned it. The bull being what bulls are bred to do, I graze and often come upon barren women whose masters are ill equip and whose family is maybe too antiquated with cattle husbandry to pause once given my rates. I do say this in earnestness, that once a man has been acquainted with my ways and hears my tales, he is not likely to remain sad long.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:01:15 2018 No.12297967

>>12297885
I know exactly what you're talking about. I think part of that is being older and the other part is the world in which we're immersed (i.e. dating apps, porn, instagram, whatever else) just makes us so spoiled and disillusioned with romance. Tinder (and grindr if you're gay I suppose) turned it all into a big game. It makes me sick even though I'm guilty of participating in it.

I remember falling in love in the way you're describing a few times maybe 6-8 years ago but despite hooking up much more often have not felt anything remotely close to it in the last 2 years.

Maybe we're the ones who are disillusioned, maybe it's the world around us that's made us this way; it's hard to know.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:02:33 2018 No.12297976 >>12297967 Sorry >>12297885, meant to reply to >>12297914

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:02:51 2018 No.12297978 >>12296335 >1 week of swiping like on everybody until my likes run out >2 matches >message them >no response

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:03:56 2018 No.12297984 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC0T86cogtc

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:09:25 2018 No.12298005

>>12297941
I think the scariest part is I don't really know if I'm chasing an ideal or not. I remember the last time I felt that feeling. Sitting in the back of a car after a Halloween party with just me and my ex the day we started dating. We weren't kissing or anything sexual. Just resting there with her head leaning on my shoulder and my head on hers.

I thought to myself this moment is perfect and I never want it to end. I miss that.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:09:29 2018 No.12298006 File: 13 KB, 657x527, apu.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12297978 >1 week of tinder >20 matches >they message me >ghost them because of autism >uninstall

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:22:29 2018 No.12298055

>>12297967
I suppose it's all just one part of getting old. I dread it, every sensation seems to be numbing as I get older. Back then we didn't have so much to worry about I suppose, no job, no bills, few expenses.

>>12298005
>I thought to myself this moment is perfect and I never want it to end

I remember sitting like that with my friend once, sitting on the beach. Not in a gay, or sexual way, either, just sitting their as friends. I suppose if we had been a couple it would have been romantic. that being said I did have a bit of a crush on him, but I never told him I hope he remained oblivious.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:36:02 2018 No.12298122

>>12296335
I feel this feel. I'm even more pathetic because I'm an autist and primarily want a gf for companionship so I spend time talking to them, trying to get to know them, etc, only to be crushed when they ghost me when it comes time for an actual date. I know Tinder is an absolutely retarded choice platform for this but I don't know how else to meet people. I haven't organically met a girl since high school.

I hate myself, I really do.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:39:26 2018 No.12298130
File: 143 KB, 344x250, hei.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Got out of a bad relationship recently. Tried to make it work for months, but we still could not get along. She never would have been the one to end it -- no matter what I did she never would have let me go. I tried to make her happy. And yes, sometimes I did things that I thought were OK but that she did not find OK. And I apologized and tried to make up for it without completely effacing my ego in the process.

But when she was upset, nothing else seemed to matter to her. None of the nice things I did counted for anything in those moments. And I couldn't stand it anymore. And on those rare occasions that I brought up something she did that I did not find OK, she defended herself instead of hearing me out. "It's not the same." Nothing she did would have bothered me in a different context -- but when she was always starting month-long arguments over these things, I had to point out that she was not perfect. And all I got were tears.

I try not to blame our problems on her mental illness, but it's hard not to.

Now that I'm single, I'm being hit on by a younger girl I met briefly a couple years ago. But it feels like she just wants to have sex with me and that's all. Which makes me sad in a weird way. I'm not sure how to describe it. Like, I "value" myself more than that?

And then, all of these emotions have stirred up something. I'm suddenly pining for a girl I went on one date with seven years ago. We hung out at her place for ten hours and then when I asked if she'd like to meet up again she turned me down. She was in one of my classes that following semester, so I still saw her around and chatted with her.

She was the only girl I'd had a crush on who ever had the guts and tact to just tell me straight up that I was cool but that she wasn't into me. It made me develop a serious respect for her that's lasted seven years. I don't even really know her, but every so often I've thought about her and just really, really hoped that her life was going well.

Once, about three years after I'd gone on that date with her, I became friends with someone who knew people in the cool girl's social circle, and this person told me that the cool girl had had an experience that caused her to completely change her worldview and rise up out of the really dark shit she was going through back in college and I shed tears of joy at hearing that.

I don't legitimately think anything will ever happen between me and the cool girl. But thinking about her has given me the courage to try and change my life for the better. I've made myself a promise: If I write the book I've been telling everyone I want to write, then I will send a message to the cool girl and ask her if I can commission a painting from her. This all probably sounds dumb. But it's all very meaningful for me.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:43:23 2018 No.12298137 I wish I had never been born

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:47:53 2018 No.12298153

I just want things to be beauty. A couple years ago I spent a few months in a sort of ecstasy thinking I had I found it, but it crumbled away and the next year and a half was spent telling myself to end it, because I thought I would never live beautifully again. I'm better now, but I'm still lost. This world is so ugly, do I have any hope at fashioning a corner of it to my liking? I don't know. I want to return to the spring.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:48:55 2018 No.12298156 >>12298153 To be beautiful*

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:49:30 2018 No.12298161 >>12298153 transition to the winter aesthetic

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:49:48 2018 No.12298163 File: 1.66 MB, 450x255, 4588de8c-027d-4d30-8e84-493a0364f609.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I wish I knew.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:54:27 2018 No.12298182 I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with. She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights".

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:56:09 2018 No.12298190 >>12298182 Your wife is fucking hilarious

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:56:46 2018 No.12298192 File: 791 KB, 500x553, 1538260171280.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12298182 that's pretty good

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:56:59 2018 No.12298193 >>12298190 i stole that joke from reddit

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 22:57:30 2018 No.12298194 If it was really just psychosis I might as well just kill myself desu.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:14:25 2018 No.12298266 >>12294372 not much until i saw that dog i really, really want to pet that dog

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:25:25 2018 No.12298327 I can't sleep.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:26:57 2018 No.12298333

>>12298153
I can relate to that brother. Winter is in some twisted sense my element because it pretty much forces me to contemplate unless the internet comes in a fucks me a little bit. But the stark, minimalist grandeur of winter, the calm deadness of it, brings me a certain dark peace. Nobody is willing to be outside in it but I don't mind it, so there are fewer people to bother me. My thoughts stand outlined as if by the cold in a crisp clarity.

With spring though there's almost an ancestral longing to invest your psychological hopes in it. And if other people put hope in it too, it gives you a little more something to work with since everyone's in a more upbeat mood.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:28:39 2018 No.12298344

I'm trying to make up my mind if being aroused by really feminine men is gay or not. Is the fact that they're men, at the end of the day, the final arbiter? Or is the fact that they have the appearance of women a mitigating factor?

This is especially the case if you happen to have a fat fetish. A certain type of really fat man does have the appearance of a woman, if you think about it, with their large man-breasts and their wide hips and having a fairly big bottom. Isn't a response to feminine physical features in men a sign, in itself, of heterosexuality? Shouldn't somebody who's truly homosexual be attracted to masculine features, like a hard body or a hairy chest?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:31:02 2018 No.12298352 File: 77 KB, 480x750, 20d160f1d5ca70d97f227ad8b589d387.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12298344 stop worrying about it anon wanking to traps is ok

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:38:16 2018 No.12298383 >>12298344 You're still being aroused by a male, and the thing that turns you on is it's a male masquerading as a female. On some level there's no mitigating that. You're just going to drive yourself crazy if you worry about it. You gay nibba

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:39:17 2018 No.12298391 File: 93 KB, 1062x750, 1545636321938.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] December sucks without snow

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:49:23 2018 No.12298440

>>12298130
>But it feels like she just wants to have sex with me and that's all. Which makes me sad in a weird way. I'm not sure how to describe it. Like, I "value" myself more than that?

Nah, I wouldn't really call that weird. The point of getting a GF in my eyes is to find someone for the intent of marriage. Some would say that this is a hell of a jump, but where else would you expect a relationship to go? Some people simply don't want to be one's fuck buddy until they get sick of each other, and I don't see a problem with that. If you're in a relationship with someone simply because you find that person hot, I don't really see how that would end well.

why the fuck am i giving relationship advice despite the fact that ive never been in a relationship before?? at least anon here seems to have a decent chance with the ladies. fuck my life.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:49:44 2018 No.12298441 It's not just that there's nothing left to offset or justify the damage. It's that there's nothing left at all. Everything has been subsumed into the pain. It's all one thing now, in every direction.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:53:29 2018 No.12298456 File: 30 KB, 480x293, 1538071010056.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12298344 As a homosexual I feel like am most qualified to make the judgement, and yes, you are gay. Male is male, no matter how much window dressing you give him.

Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:55:12 2018 No.12298463

>>12298130
Your relationship sounds uncannily similar to my previous one, which I ended about a month ago. I thought I'd miss it more, that I'd be crushed with guilt, but I felt absolutely nothing. There parts of her I liked very but she completely wore me down.

If it's not prying too much, was your girlfriend a victim of abuse, or did you have reason to suspect she was?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:57:30 2018 No.12298469 Everyone deserves hell. Most especially those who think they have a right to escape it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 27 23:58:06 2018 No.12298472 >>12298469 Well that's a bit harsh.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:01:12 2018 No.12298485 >>12298472 Harsh but at least fair. There is no other standard of justice.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:03:20 2018 No.12298494 >>12298440 I appreciate your words. And I think you are right. I believe in you, fellow anon. I'll be pulling for you in 2019. Let's chase our dreams.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:04:52 2018 No.12298504 File: 5 KB, 250x245, 1545946371114s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] condoms are for fucking pussies

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:11:45 2018 No.12298538

>>12298463
I'm sorry you had to go through that, too, anon.
There were several times she left my apartment after spending the night, and after she closed my front door I would go lay on my couch and cry. Because I knew I had to break up with her. The good times didn't make up for the bad times, and it hurt to know that she put so much hope in me, but I just couldn't handle it.
After the tearful breakup, though, I felt so much better. I didn't know I had been depressed -- I thought something like depression wouldn't happen to me. But a few days after the split, I was able to finally -- for the first time since April -- clean my apartment. For once my sink wasn't completely filled with dirty dishes. I had no idea the relationship had me in a depressed state. I thought I "just didn't feel like cleaning."

And to answer your question without giving any personal details: Yes, she was abused. She had a terrible childhood and her father was (and still is, if he's even alive somewhere) scum of the earth.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:20:53 2018 No.12298571 >>12298456 What if you enjoy dressing as a woman, but also still jack off to women?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:21:50 2018 No.12298576 >>12298469 You deserve, or rather require, a lithium pill.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:22:36 2018 No.12298579 >>12298571 so what if i do satin panties and stockings just feel good ok

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:24:31 2018 No.12298590 >>12298571 I don't know. I think most people who would do that would be 'autogynophiles', but it would be wrong for me to peg you into any category from a distance.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:33:36 2018 No.12298617 >>12294462 >if it historically happened it should be discussed on /his/ only Are you fucking retarded?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:36:06 2018 No.12298625 >>12298617 that is literally what the board is for dum dum

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:36:59 2018 No.12298632 yawn

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:38:42 2018 No.12298636 >>12295708 Go to a dentist anon. They fix it before you pay. You'll be a grand or so in debt which sucks but its better than being dead. Also you could opt to have them pull the tooth which is only a couple hundred bucks

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:40:42 2018 No.12298642 >>12298632 getting sleepy, anon?

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:46:09 2018 No.12298655
File: 77 KB, 460x437, Thats+not+even+close+to+her+name+_17e78dd493d5216689fbb94dca1c19b6.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I am equal parts grateful and overwhelmed by how much reading material there is in the world.

How can people write so much?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 00:47:46 2018 No.12298657 >>12298642 yeah. good night, internet.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 01:15:29 2018 No.12298704

>>12294432
>Probably the most unpopular but all bible stuff goes to /his/.
/lit/ would just be celebrity gossip and /leftypol/style illiteracy and retardation if it did. The same people posting 'bible stuff' are also some of the few well-read in literature and philosophy.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 01:17:47 2018 No.12298708 >>12298704 this. don't disrespect the lord you fucking libcucks. God is REAL and your evolution bullshit theory is bulllshitttt

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 01:50:38 2018 No.12298770

putting down a dog sucks.

the grief comes and goes, she wasn't sick but she was very old, had health probs, peed on the carpet all the time, couldnt play anymore or go on walks.

but we had her since I was a kid man. so good, so fun and loving, many good times with our family. i am saddened but see why euthanasia means good death. done at home around the whole family, i had to be there for my mom as she was quite a mess, but only now am I really feeling the sadness. I wish we could've prolonged her life, but for what purpose? the winter and cold are harsh, and luckily her last weeks were happy.

i am not worthy to face death. what am I? aimless, drifting, my compassion and grief feels like I have experienced really nothing deep enough in life to warrant such things. and soon, back to books, and studying. my grandma had a stroke this christmas too, i am increasingly confronted with death and mortality again and again. the thought of losing my parents terrifies me. what will I have left? i really need to marry a girl with a big family, i wanna have kids just so I don't feel lonely.

(audio captcha: "this is especially strong")

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 02:18:59 2018 No.12298855 >>12298770 Sorry for you loss, anon. The passing of a pet is always awful. I will too have to get my old dog put down soon. And I have too had her for nearly my whole life.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 02:48:12 2018 No.12298929
File: 1.51 MB, 1512x1072, lain-bear-2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Has there ever been written, especially in the last few years, any decent cyberpunk of the 21st Century? Maybe something about how social media is making us dumber or whatever. Or about how Neil Postman is spinning in his grave?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 03:07:42 2018 No.12298976 >>12298770 If I could bring back anyone from the dead, I wouldn't bring back a president or a writer or whoever, I'd bring back my dog who passed away earlier this year who I had for 12 years

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 03:15:07 2018 No.12298992 Just fucking reject me. Don't ghost me, don't be insincere with your words. You don't like me, whatever, just tell me. Don't drag me along, go out when you don't actually want to and waste both our times. Just say you're not feeling it. Fuck

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 03:15:41 2018 No.12298996 I wish I was 20 again Don't waste time kids. 20s are gone before you know it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 03:21:58 2018 No.12299012 >>12298996 I'm 20 and I wish I was 19 again

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 03:23:03 2018 No.12299014 >>12299012 Teenage years are gay. 20s are your most valuable.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 03:26:55 2018 No.12299020 >>12299014 I know, I didn't even like being 19

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 04:11:19 2018 No.12299087

There are these girls that I've interacted with that I think are beautiful. One who has light brown skin, wavy hair, with a soft accent and a soft voice, and a characteristic smile that's my favorite in women. You know, the catlike one where dimples form and immediately connect to their lips. And she has these rough hands that contrast so well with her. Why is she so shy?
Or another girl, with this amazing white skin, straight flowing hair and a gorgeous face. Why doesn't she eat more? She should, it shows.
I love the sweetness that girls display, and it hurts me when they abandon that sweetness. I love their emotions, their expressions and quirks. I love their hands, and if it were up to me I'd spend my time analyzing them.
All my life I've wanted a sister to care for, ever since I remember. Be her bigger or smaller, she would've been my princess. And it turned out that my half brothers have a half sister, and I was very excited. However, when I met her of course I freezed up and tensed. I couldn't speak because of my shyness.
I've said this word a lot, but she really is stunning. She says she wants to get a nose job but I think that's nonsense. Her face is already amazing as it is, why would she want to remove an imperfection that only adds up to who she is? She's so sweet, it seems odd to me when she starts to drink or to smoke. It doesn't seem right, but that's just me. The thing that most hurts me most about her as how sad her views on life are, she's pessimistic and has that self-depricating that doesn't do her well. I wanted to give her a nice gift this Christmas, but my brothers said it'd be weird since I barely talk to her. They suggested that I liked her, which I do very much, but not in that way they suggested.
I tried to talk to the only female friend I had from back when I was a kid, and holy shit she grew up looking good. She's the opposite of me, she's very diligent at home, at school and with her life in general. Of course we didn't bond at all.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 04:25:40 2018 No.12299122
File: 44 KB, 500x586, zdzisc582aw-beksic584ski-ii.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12299087
We were complete strangers to each other. On top of that we both seemed to be very introverted. I tried to talk to her but she just seemed shy, and I couldn't really say anything since all I could speak then was boring, banal things that didn't matter at all, I was just to anxious around her. Apparently she had a crush on me, and I felt bad for her for how disillusioned she must've been when she saw me after all those years. How things changed, I'll always miss those times of childish mirth with her at her store's backyard. We'd play together chasing each other and since I didn't know the place and given the location I'd get pricks stuck all over my legs. So while my mother and hers would go to get some alcohol she'd take the brambles off of me!

I also remember my last day at my old school before I moved. The last classmate to say bye to me was a girl who only after moving I realized was the "closest" to me. Well, not that close. All we'd do was fight and call each other names. It was weird though, those last words she said to me were very kind. She just said her goodbyes and we left, but the memory is still there.

There's also the memory of the only girl who's really liked me up until now, going so far as to getting me meaningful, creative gifts (not expensive, but emotionally yeah). I was a fucking prick to her by ignoring her always, and still I'd like to call her and apologize for what I did, but I don't know how to contact her. Her name was Emily.

Of course I could go into more detail about all this stuff, but I'm typing from my phone and it gets tiring. Basically, I just wish I could be more open with women. Someone to be more "feminine" with, whether that be a good friend or a partner. I know it's my problem. I don't even have any real dude friends, just acquaintances I know from school who I never see outside of.

I know it's me and not them, but how do I stop being so distant?

I've been trying to make a tulpa, but it hasn't worked yet. Maybe she'll help me.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 04:28:56 2018 No.12299130

>>12299087
>>12299122
Also isn't sad how Zdzislaw Beksinski died? Especially because of him saying that he wasn't afraid of death, but of dying and the suffering it could bring.

He died being stabbed 17 times. He was so gentle and quiet, he shouldn't have died like that.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 05:22:37 2018 No.12299272

>>12299087
>All my life I've wanted a sister to care for

I always wish that I had a sister, too. I keep having dreams about a girl who says that she is my sister. Maybe it's my sister from another timeline, coming to say hello from across the astral plane.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 06:55:08 2018 No.12299529 File: 48 KB, 645x729, retard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >we should all aspire to be like elon musk and mark zuckerberg because they have very high net worths!

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:01:11 2018 No.12299547 File: 48 KB, 253x229, comfy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >why don't you want a job anon? >don't you know people will think you're strange?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:02:28 2018 No.12299554 >>12299547 >he thinks people think about him at all

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:05:19 2018 No.12299565 File: 302 KB, 828x1403, comfy2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12299554 >why don't you want a job anon? >don't you know people won't think about you at all?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:09:14 2018 No.12299581 >>12299565 if they stop thinking about me, will I stop existing?

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:13:16 2018 No.12299596
File: 55 KB, 1008x720, autistic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

S I just watched this Soul for the Fiftst time and I'm gotta gay -- Sftound's a like a wholve bocome a Bibb agm tibb Cocter if you Wawetec te Apemnetscm Sho Werial Expemeritns Lain's A macen Charerner Tonicersthal. I mece Aaale whrrhh sthten acme bobo ttmtmt rrerenme tawn se Have a pobnge te Sullits a maent to Mocne a Scholest the ARemr but bnge even a wana waho se krrne ta bobem waaaata scerrrt. I m emenr ABe tner tormnetse .. awoemr burnrk SSLLTSTSS pssh wwwshhhhh ta SIBERIA CRIMEA srrkt a liik a daac bubt dod't se hahe anischeic. Tocnice alstosne solnsitce bargayu to wmen .. wye?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:15:49 2018 No.12299602 >>12299596 Sorry, I don't speak Welsh.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:17:35 2018 No.12299608

Startlr: I just for at he first time wated Series SeriesExperiments Lain for the Television the Animeted series. The Main CAracheter is the Protacunic and Nomular Lain Ikaruwa who is a Big Time Antest bemo se anset the Caunt even sprache ca perper wed a casemad, e tho me sate se hawe Aniseral.

I dod't hace t o a get n we intesanding te anjempent a buts te etipidens. Gacen to me a teure ager te pinte I ware tare ta har na papayapayans. Hace todne tecse the se a exepetince a te?

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:19:56 2018 No.12299618

KXCO - - FOCE TT TE E E TT CCC SS ITUTTU FFI AA ITNT DDO TTTTHSSS SEHEEE EEEE LLLL AAA N EE SS CRRR CL ff ethe aa nc t the waa cee eetn att at thee cee tenen aa tite teee aaf see haa tee beec. I ememe ttt tcneee aa cenen tthtnt ccceen aaaa ttoitn eeme tjeker aa tt nneo so I wawanaed t to tto tto weee and wee bibb aa bbeige fathtone ataara atnet tehn eenet tto tme bbuubuu tyee, aa ndde TTno nete Aalees u ddeent deent bcount see say bbigb baaba woere taa teeceer tnn't dee tem feerer, cocme anne doccne ffoene eifje tee a wwneeer i wanana wee ent e cceer i ll leieck eer apaaass iille waam ttee aaan ekeed aann edlslslslll een ete caviene aa wwee tte seeped baasset tttn tttn baaaseere iya neewwmane anna goone faeeme ddddc inena ttng ddidgtle vaeen n n ccuemme ohhhhhhhh tthent en ai lel jjwace tttotm the thee annee cceeewerm aawlwe tttngver theehr didendnent fafeece nn onne tsajthpeid bbeersatue. Ddhtnm fufefeent thcnelut stsneks and wneenntd ththnjsm docmmsocm i'eee llrvc cjwenee meed tht cjk ttt sscx eleflm.... :-)

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:26:56 2018 No.12299651

So so so so so be be be ber be ber berience experiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:52:09 2018 No.12299764 >>12298538 I ask because my ex was too. I wonder if there is a logic to the ways being through such an ordeal can affect your personality.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 07:56:28 2018 No.12299781

>>12299764
I think there are multiple ways to come out on the other side of trauma -- and sadly, one of those ways is to become angry and untrusting.
She also had a powerful empathy, but in her deep despairs, she needed so, so much affection and comfort.
Many nights all I could do was rub her back as she cried, and tell her over and over "it wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve that, you're safe now." But still the tears came.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 08:01:44 2018 No.12299797 >>12298130 lmao shut up fag

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 08:39:22 2018 No.12299902 >>12298576 Not an argument

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 09:52:13 2018 No.12300155 niggers unironically tongue my anus (and that's a good thing!)

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 10:02:11 2018 No.12300193 >mom asks to borrow my card to buy painkillers >she does, but also uses my card to buy a bottle of vodka should i be angry about her spending my money or worried about her committing suicide

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 10:08:45 2018 No.12300212 >>12295891 Sorry to hear this. I can't say you will triumph over this struggle but I would say that you'll have to embrace the suffering. Not relish in it but embrace it nonetheless. Godspeed anon!

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 11:13:13 2018 No.12300461

>>12297414
I know what you mean kinda, more and more the old, at least somewhat unified western post ww2 order is dissolving, being replaced with an atomized society and social alienation where any common ground between people pretty much disappears.
Off course 50 years ago an Californian artist, a diary farmer from Wisconsin, a rich kid from New Hampshire and some black kid from a poor neighborhood in Atlanta had different perspectives on life, the country and what's going on in it currently but after all it was somewhat unified and unless someone spend all their time reading conspiracy bullshit there was a common, agreed on reality, while nowadays these people couldn't have less to do with each other beyond being able to apply for a US passport, each reading totally different publications presenting vastly different from another.
At the same time many, once power full institutions like the old media, the two political parties and congress fall apart and very many political institutions like many departments switch to running themself or running on autopilot, a prime example being the war in Afghanistan.
Everybody knows that nothing is going really well down there, the Afghan state and security forces are still weak as hell and that has been known for years, but barely anything changes in terms of strategy and overall approach. The public discussion of it has pretty much ceased and only continues among the very few who continue having something to do with it.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:07:56 2018 No.12300630

>>12294372
Anyone else feel America is on the verge of imploding? Does Drumpft really think a shutdown is wise at this point? I've heard it said not caring about politics is a privilege; it just means that you aren't having it foisted over you by its targeting and pull. I'm afraid no one living in this country is going to be able to avoid it if this idiot doesn't come around. And that's a foregone conclusion.

The lunatics are running the asylum and you don't have to be a liberal to see it. Trump the big child and his army of children think they have it all figured out. Well I've got news for you buddy, you don't. And if this country goes into civil war territory, it's over. Too many guns. Too much chaos. Total nihilism and death and misery.

Canada isn't too far, and I swear I could fix Europe if i just moved there, and I do like parts of America but this shit is no thank you.

America has given me shit enough, if it collapses on me, I'm collapsing on it. I can take my business elsewhere. Get your shit together America!

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:11:02 2018 No.12300646 >>12300630 how many gallons of semen do you consume nightly

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:13:13 2018 No.12300653 >>12300646 Just half a gallon unless I'm feeling depressed.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:14:14 2018 No.12300654 >>12300155 Jeepers.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:22:56 2018 No.12300682

I'm just thinking how the Russian and Chinese governments are leaping to exploit the crippled American government. There's total disarray at every level of government, as if Trump is deliberately tossing grenades in every fucking department. He's either working intentionally toward a single goal and deliberately knocking screws loose, or he's simply in over his head as the left has long suspected, unsuited for the job, and too wrapped up in his egomania to see things clearly.
I'm worried about this shit, and I honestly feel that I'm the only one smart and determined enough to hack through all the illusions and misinformation and propaganda.

Border security isn't a bad idea, and Trump is not wrong to secure the Mexican border as it is a gateway to any possible problems that might spill over from the south. However, his fanatical need for the wall goes without solid explanation, and the way he communicates his reasons are so poorly stated that it gives half or more than half the country the wrong impression.

The whole immigrant caravan issue probably would have never happened if Trump hadn't antagonized pretty much everyone living in Central and South America. The migrants were doing it out of a protest rather than a reasonable expectation of making it into the U.S

But if the US cant' handle its own shit, then they better stay out for their own safety because they'll be the first to be disinvited to the party shall we say.

Trump is a corrosive acid. Acid can accomplish useful things in an industrial setting, but if the acid leaks out, it's going to eat away at irrelevant things. Trump's acid has got Americans completely mistrusting each other. People are trying to raise children in this country and it's as ugly and ignorant as it is.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:23:59 2018 No.12300687 >>12300646 how low is your IQ

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:24:08 2018 No.12300689 Im dreading new years eve, such an awful overpriced night but gotta show up for the normies

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:25:26 2018 No.12300694
File: 37 KB, 400x430, 1525163525320.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

HOW IS IT EVEN FUCKING POSSIBLE TO CLAIM THAT YOU WERE A TRANSCENDENTAL IDEALIST IN THE LOGICAL INVESTIGATIONS HUSSERL?

VOLUME ONE, §38, "PSYCHOLOGISM IN ALL ITS FORMS IS A RELATIVISM"
>... Every doctrine is ipso facto relativistic, a case of specific relativism, if, with the empiricists, it treats the pure laws of logic as empirical, psychological laws. It is likewise relativistic, if, with the apriorists, it deduces these laws, in more or less mythic fashion, from certain 'original forms' or 'modes of functioning' of the (human) understanding, from consciousness as such, conceived as generic (human) reason, from the psycho-physical constitution of man, from the intellectus ipse which, as an innate (generically human) disposition, precedes all actual thought and experience. ...

§36, "CRITIQUE OF SPECIFIC RELATIVISM AND, IN PARTICULAR, OF ANTHROPOLOGISM"
>... What is true is absolutely, intrinsically true: truth is one and the same, whether men or non-men, angels or gods apprehend and judge it. ...

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME I'M SUPPOSED TO INTERPRET THIS TRANSCENDENTALLY AND NOT REALISTICALLY YOU LYING BALD PRICK?

>Our constitution would be causa sui in respect of laws, which would cause themselves in virtue of themselves etc.

JUST BECAUSE THAT'S A PARADOX IN THE KANTIAN SYSTEM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST TRAIPSE RIGHT OVER TO RADICAL PLATONISM WITHOUT EXPLAINING YOURSELF INSTEAD

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:33:26 2018 No.12300722

Is hot, really hot here. And just in time to remind me culture is fucking conditioning. That's why people is drinking hot chocolate and eating 500 calories piece of traditional cake in the middle of the day at 80 F. Because we are trained dogs. I just want to bite a raw fish and drink a beer brought from the bottom of Hell. Fuck this heat and intercranial sweat.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:35:47 2018 No.12300726 >>12294373 I hope it's a weak bait, if not somebody should tell you that you are dumb.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:36:22 2018 No.12300729
File: 409 KB, 500x279, rain.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm devastated by the news that my coworker has resigned, and that she won't be coming into work after the 31st. I knew that she was looking for a new job, and I had no doubt she would get a job quickly, but the pain is even worse than I expected. She'll be going far away for three weeks at a time in her new job, and then she'll only be back for two weeks. At minimum, that contract is going to last for a year. I fear more than ever that I will never see her again.

I made a huge move, however, to try and recover our friendship--much more than I have ever done in my life. I asked her if she wanted to still be friends, and if she wanted to spend time together even after she leaves. I realize now that premise is likely impossible because of her schedule, but she was kind enough to take me up on the offer. She told me she suffered a harsh dilemma, as she didn't share the same affection I had for her. I told her that understanding wasn't a huge issue for me, and that I still wanted to be friends with her. She seemed happy, and she even told me that sometime we could hang out. She sent me a text soon afterwards, though it was of the sort that said she is bad at replying to messages.

I'm going to get to work with her on Saturday and Sunday, which I'm happy about, yet I still feel depressed and I wonder if I can still find it in me to work my current job. I feel like she was almost the entire reason I motivated myself to come in. I have my doubts that she'll want to be my friend when she doesn't have to see me regularly. She'll find new friends in her new job, and when she comes home, she'll be preoccupied with her family and all the people she has known longer than she has known me. I still hope that we'll be friends, and I grapple with the anxiety that she'll likely never love me in the way that I love her, but I still hope. I've never met someone I admired so much.

For all the sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been."

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:41:17 2018 No.12300747

To the people who believe in Trump, he doesn't speak for you, you speak for you! More Americans need their voices heard. It's one of the founding principles of this country!

We have everything we need to work with, the best ideas of the European Enlightenment worked into a highly productive model by the Founding Fathers. But the government isn't in proper shape and it can't be trusted!
It's time for everyday citizens to figure out how we can take control, that's the powerful idea! Stop saying we're the best and the greatest country in the world because if you hold the title you need to keep it! And if you're #1, there's no need to get better, you'll rest on your laurels!

There needs to be more solidarity and interest in the big picture project of this country! You can't be hung up on petty shit like race, gender, religious affiliation and sexuality!

Ok I've done enough political ranting for 10 lifetimes.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:44:39 2018 No.12300757
File: 1.17 MB, 1400x1400, ed844562160311.5a86db9b76194.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Another sentence in a sea of nonsense. Another human in a sea of human waste. I care about creating the perfect idea as much as I care about creating the perfect man. For what? Is mans mission to form a layer of intelligence, like the cell, or dna, and use the matter in the universe to create massive galaxy building machines? Here we are with two possible interpretations of man, as a part in a whole within unlimited distance and time - or as each individual as the most important thing to himself. Man is so easy to please. If we all had what we wanted would we realize cosmic emergence or destroy ourselves die to boredom? It would be the first because the only thing in harmony with the whole of nature is nature itself, and man must be one with nature as far as is grandiose the universe in order to be perfect, man will never have all he wants until he is perfect.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:48:06 2018 No.12300767

I really wish there would be more infrastructure projects. Infrastructure projects are really good. They increase people's motivation and it implicitly improves morale for people to see things getting built.
Infrastructure! O' gods above, give me some of that infrastructure!

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:48:32 2018 No.12300772

My stemlord friend gave me a copy of Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita to read; so far I'm not impressed. I read two chapters and it might just be the translation of the work but it's coming across as cringy self-righteous christian moralism and idk if I should keep going or just drop it. He's one of the smartest guys I know, but that might be restricted to his field of study. I'm starting to think his literary taste is shite, it doesnt help that I'm very unacquainted with russian lit.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:55:17 2018 No.12300794

>>12300682
>I'm worried about this shit, and I honestly feel that I'm the only one smart and determined enough to hack through all the illusions and misinformation and propaganda.
That's egomania speaking. Trump is a buffoon but even he knows he can just shovel money into defense and let the military experts do what they do best: bring freedom to needy, war torn territories that are of interest to ''''"national security''''". Even if he pisses away his presidency I feel like most of the government will readjust with the next election cycle and short of full-scale missile warfare we're pretty much stuck in the increasingly statist progression of our democracy.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:57:18 2018 No.12300806

>>12294372
It's like you need some distance from important world trends if you want to stay sane, or you need power proportional to it in order to contain and process it. Knowledge power is only one type of power. Human power can be much more impressive than that. There's coordination and cooperation power, organizational power.

Corporations are a brilliant idea and and a way to channel information and resources efficiently, but if corporations have too much power of the wrong sort, it becomes anarchic. There's diminished coordination on larger scales! I honestly want to thank corporate leadership for keeping it together during such turbulent times.

It's not just that there's a flip side of the coin, there's a flip side to the many sided dice!

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 12:58:39 2018 No.12300815 >>12300794 I honestly have the feeling Trump could actually be getting re-elected if the dems again select someone with the public appeal of a cardboard cutout.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:01:01 2018 No.12300826

>>12300815
That's exactly what everyone's been expecting the entire time. The Dems will be split between old guard politicos, who see voters as pathetic cattle, and short-sighted new guard tranny-lovers whose brains run on Twitter memes and who actually think you can win elections with gay mutant Latinx anal dildo candidates.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:02:08 2018 No.12300832

>>12300794
Yeah, I mean, I like to think I could figure it out on paper if I really tried and devoted to myself to it like a monk. But I don't care that much to do that, nor should I ought to feel obligated. As there is still a good possibility for the system to self-correct. I'm also trying to reel in my catastrophizing. Still catastrophes do happen! And we live in a time that seems ripe for it.

The government is flexible and adjustable and is designed to be that way, but there needs to be more stability in it. I wish Jeb was the meme candidate in 2016, there would have at least been predictable continuity and the government would go purring along silently if not with much improvement.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:03:04 2018 No.12300835 >>12299581 only if God stops thinking about you

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:04:29 2018 No.12300843 why the FUCK is georgian so hard to learn

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:07:43 2018 No.12300871 >>12300826 I'm kind of curious how right years of Trump are going to influence the US and it's standing in the world considering how random he is his actions and thinking.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:09:11 2018 No.12300878 >>12300871 eight years*

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:09:27 2018 No.12300879 >>12300843 why the FUCK are you even learning georgian

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:13:05 2018 No.12300901 >>12300879 i thought it would be fun it's not it's just painful

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:19:29 2018 No.12300939 >>12294372 I feel like my arms are longer ghan average and it makes me feel self conscious

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:37:38 2018 No.12301013 Oh sporadic 911 outages. How bout that?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:43:27 2018 No.12301040 I think I'm going to kill myself in around 10 years. Rationally speaking, not existing is better than the struggles I'm constantly going through. It's just not worth it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 13:47:51 2018 No.12301060 SHAKY THREW A PARTY THAT LASTED ALL NIGHT EVERYBODY DRANK A LOT OF SOMETHING NICE THERE WAS AN OLD FASHIONED BAND OF MARRIED MEN LOOKING UP TO ME FOR ENCOURAGEMENT

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 14:01:50 2018 No.12301134 Is the Turn of the Screw a good book? Also, what's the verdict on MacMillan's collectors library?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 14:14:58 2018 No.12301213 >>12298625 >/his/ shouldn't mention the bible - it's a book, and books only belong on /lit/ This is you.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 14:48:34 2018 No.12301344 >>12300815 >>12300826 Trump is going to sweep the elections you fucking brainlets. WHo's he going against, some woman or minority? You're fucking retards and keep it on >>>/pol/

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 16:09:06 2018 No.12301749

>>12301040
I'm with you on this one, at the moment I'm radically spending a huge bulk of my time becoming socially better equipped, presentable etc, better at my own career choice. If these attempts are in vain, I'm never turning 35.
If I can't even live a lie well it's over.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 16:24:46 2018 No.12301824

>>12300826
Bernie sanders is unironically the only hope they have. They may be able to get by in 2020 just because Trump is such a thoroughly unlikable figure to anyone who isn't a delusional /pol/ poster or retarded midwestern hog, but they'll just get wrecked again in 2024 by someone who has Trump's politics but is also not an illiterate manchild.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 16:27:32 2018 No.12301842 I am going to commission a dragon fursuit partial and build a wearable computer into it, with voice changing software.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 16:47:52 2018 No.12301957

A lesson in etiology. It is extremely cheap for men to produce sperm cells. 1 nut = like 200 million cells or sth like that. Because of that, men's success in carrying on their genes grows linearly with how many different partners they can nut in. For women, on the other hand, it is relatively expensive to produce egg cells. Once a month, until menopause. This means that they only want the highest quality sperm/partner to ensure that their genes get passed on. In the older days, men worked and women stayed at home. Women relied on men to bring home the food and men relied on women to take care of the house/kids. A beautiful symbiosis. Nowadays with hypersexualized tinder culture and with better standards of living, this balance is completely off. What we see is a massive number of divorces, a massive number of single mothers. We also see how 20% of Chads fornicate with 80% of girls (stupid roasties right?!). Well, nature has known to fix the imbalances. Anyone cares to guess how this imbalance will be fixed?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 16:53:06 2018 No.12301985 im gonna build a bookshelf in the woods just so i can post a picture of it next time a bookshelf thread comes up.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 17:01:20 2018 No.12302036

I'm beginning to move on from being a doomer to being a bloomer. I think /lit/ and to an extent all of 4chan has a superiority complex that prevents them from engaging with the world *as it is* rather than how it used to be or could be. We are in a unique period of transition between old power structures ongoing since the Middle Ages to new, digital ones where the rules and goals are completely different. Yes this causes dissatisfaction and alienation but it's also a great tune for play, experimentation, with not having to take things so seriously. I imagine ancient peoples felt like this with the move towards agriculture or the Romans after the sack of Rome (both ancient and empire). I think the future is bright.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 18:22:53 2018 No.12302448 >>12302036 >I think the future is bright. yeah bro what's not to love about expanding neoliberal technocapitalist hell along with total environmental collapse and with it the displacement of billions?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 18:27:13 2018 No.12302469 >>12302036 dumb bloomer >>12302448 based and doompilled

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 19:12:02 2018 No.12302679

>>12301957
In the past animals who weren't necessarily Alpha males (arbitrary, but for lack of a better term) would use their cunning to get rid of them so that they could assert themselves in a system where the bar has moved.

Now it's illegal to murder in society, illegal to con, illegal to fight etc. You could argue the only possible way to move the bar is to hold all the money (social capital) but it's illegal to steal and chicks will still fuck the Alpha without money because he's still on the throne, just broke. The girl will simply pity flirt/fuck for the resources and go right back. Alpha fucks, beta bucks.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 19:12:36 2018 No.12302682 >>12294432 >Anybody with /pol/ in their history cannot post. go back to r3ddit faggot, you don't belong on this board.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:26:07 2018 No.12303089
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Feeling pretty down today, enough so to come back to this shithole. I used to be able to sustain myself on the hope of seeing my high school friends (my only friends) during term breaks, but now they all have gf's and jobs and prospects and stuff it's not the same and I don't get the joy out of it I once did. I'm very lonely. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, I haven't since I left for college (probably why I cling to those old friends so much). I need to get a job or apply to grad school, but I don't want to do either. I don't really _want_ anything anymore, that's the problem. Well that's not strictly true, but there isn't any overlap between the world I imagine and what I could actually create anymore. I don't have any motivation to read or write or go /out/ or draw or whatever. I'm just bored. Maybe I should give up and try to get prescribed pills.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:40:58 2018 No.12303151 >>12298494 thanks man

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:42:05 2018 No.12303158 I want this cold to go away.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:43:09 2018 No.12303168 >>12298504 i mean yeah what else did you think a condom was used for

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:47:20 2018 No.12303189

Don't know where to share my poetry. I only get a couple "I like this" replies or maybe some small suggestion when I post in the /crit/ threads. I could just start hammering out submissions I guess, but I'll probably just get blacklisted for being garbage.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:50:44 2018 No.12303208 Is LF dead? The board has been lacking his posts lately.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:51:45 2018 No.12303213 >>12303158 The cold weather, or are you sick?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 20:52:45 2018 No.12303221 I dont know how to write a compelling story without being overly descriptive.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 21:48:55 2018 No.12303537

We gave not even begun to be neoliberal technocapitalist: that is precisely the problem. We are in a period of transition. The term Late Capitalism should really be Intro Capitalism. We are in a process of reinventing values and lives and it's shitty to go through but it will eventually lead to revitalized experiences and modes of being. The problem is we have all this pre-digital, pre-capitalism baggage about what a good life ought to be in a universal sense when we are rapidly finding that new good lives. But it takes time to transition.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 21:59:51 2018 No.12303595
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>>12303537
hahahahahahahaha
name ONE (1) legitimately good or beautiful aspect of the "new good life". Go ahead.

The future under technocapitalism is one big soulless monoculture with the occasional group of outcasts off doing their own thing. There will be nothing exciting or interesting or new or revolutionary because such things aren't as profitable. You can already see this happening, and it's only going to get worse.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 22:08:13 2018 No.12303636 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPNK0VspQ0M

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 22:26:34 2018 No.12303701
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2018 has been a mostly wasted year. That's one year older, that's one more year off my twenties. It wasn't even romantically wasted. It wasn't Wasted, I wasn't a Wastoid, it just passed like a blur, nothing special, mostly minimum wage work, sleep, and the banalities of daily life in between. I can't take life as it comes anymore. I am too consciously aware of the time I am always losing and the energies I need to direct towards hard work if I want to succeed at anything. It doesn't help that I don't know where I want to end up, the classic problem of youth, all the time in the world and no idea what to do with it, so often we do nothing but tread water. Life was better only a few short years ago. The world was more alive. I miss college, I miss the structure, I miss the positive reinforcement of grading, I miss the social life, I miss the full time immersion in a romantic pursuit of knowledge, the optimism, the arrogance, the imagination. It was a second innocence, but it's gone as quickly as it came.

Anonymous Fri Dec 28 22:27:13 2018 No.12303706

>>12303537
if capitalism is to be taken in its context as a mode of production, comparing it to the other stages on Marx's economic interpretation of history, it stands to reason that capitalism can be defined technologically, as a mode of production that was created by, and for, the tumultuous historical era of the industrial revolution. Marx's interpretation of social classes, especially the stark division between the workers and capitalists, and capitalism's tendency to center around private and personal property, are tied closely to the form of capitalism that was prevalent at Marx's time, and many developments in Marxist theory have been to incorporate the changes in subsequent economic production into the framework of Marx's theory.
In general, the verdict of modern Marxists is to consider the changes since industrialization to have been a process of capital's conversion of every aspect of modern life into forms more convenient to capital. According to them, Marx's time was capitalist, and since then the changes to our modes of production made the world more capitalist, suggesting that this process brought the world closer to the day of reckoning that Marx foresaw. The term "late capitalism" itself is based on this assumption that life is more capitalist now than it was during Marx's time.
In their quasi-religious hubris, Marx's intellectual descendants have defined every aspect of modern economics in its relation to Marx's ultimate prophecy. When most anti-Marxists criticize his work on the grounds of his "disproving" by subsequent history, they misdirect their ire at Marx himself instead of those who clumsily read the tea leaves of economic history in order to inevitably proclaim their initial conclusion was correct: Capitalism is growing unsustainable and dying, just as was originally said.
There is little reason to believe that this is how Marx himself would have treated the changing systems of production that were seen throughout the twentieth century. Take the concept of ownership itself, for example. Property, both concerning the means of production and personal property of the people themselves, is central to capitalism. To own private property divides the capitalist from the prole, and many of the attacks on capitalism have been based on capitalism's conception of property. But property has not been treated the same since Marx. Where a capitalist's ownership of a factory is a fairly clear circumstance, the distribution of ownership over shares and parcels of debt that sustain our current world are sociologically, economically, and psychologically impossible to equate with Marx's definition of property under capitalism. Debt is the ubiquitous ruler of modern life, governing education, housing, and business alike, while ownership of the means of production is scattered over so many motes of finance that true ownership is unrecognizable. What mode of production we currently live under is unclear, but it cannot be capitalism.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 23:15:26 2018 No.12303917 If shit goes down I'm enlisting. You can bet on that. But shit better not go down.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 23:23:46 2018 No.12303956 >>12303917 If you're a burger you're another idiot sheep. I'm a racist but I would never go to fight sandniggers just for Israel, oil, the military industrial complex, and "freedom" kek

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 28 23:49:36 2018 No.12304063 I FUCKING HATE MY JOB

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 00:16:33 2018 No.12304167 >>12295584 holy shit I haven't laughed this hard in months

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 00:23:39 2018 No.12304191

>>12297798
Pride has taken on a meaning it didn't always have. Pride, the sin, is believing you are better than you actually are. Taking "pride" in something you actually deserved/earned/are is not a sin.

Being proud of being a certain race is essentially just being at peace with what you are. You could even be "proud" of what people in your racial group have accomplished, although you're starting to reach there. Once you start thinking that there's something about being a certain race that makes you fundamentally, objectively better than any other person in another race you're deluding yourself.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 02:18:08 2018 No.12304555 >>12304063 Lol kill yourself?

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 03:16:48 2018 No.12304689

identifying as a certain political label has more to do with context than the stereotype of what the label contains
for an American who's desperate for more affordable and accessible health care (as so many posts here have exhibited), identifying as a socialist makes sense if you are in favour of socialized medicine.
however, in a country that already has already created such a system (which comprises most of the West, including my country), socialism refers to the goal of expanding such policies beyond what they have already achieved (e.g.: basic income).
in one sense, our conservatives would count as socialists by American standards because their party platform explicitly forbids their members from opposing our extremely popular public health care system.

ideologies are machines that can be turned on and off by the population, via the vote, but the ideologies themselves and those who are forwarding these ideas are never in a position to state that their goals could possibly be wrong, or that it couldn't go even further. socialists in Denmark - the most economically equal nation in the world - would still want things to be more equal still, even at the expense of international competitiveness, for example.
to be a feminist in Saudi Arabia is not just understandable, but fucking brave; to be one in Canada is actually dogmatic and rote. the word means functionally different things in different cultural contexts. in the first, it means allowing women to actually have equal rights with men for the first time in that nation's history; in the latter, it means wanting to use the state to force our institutions to more quickly approach ~50% women in engineering, political representation, film directors, architects, etc. more rapidly than would be natural if left alone.
feminism has a liberal basis in Saudi Arabia, but a leftist one in Canada.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 03:23:38 2018 No.12304707

>>12304689
the best version of the 'left-right spectrum' is the one that puts the left as being progressive, even revolutionary at its extreme, in the direction society is trending, while to the right, you have those who believe society is going too far, or even at the extreme those who believe society must be forcibly turned backwards toward its own past. A spectrum of optimal rates of social change, misinterpreted as involving any static positions. It puts the lie to any concept of 'centrism' as an ideology unto itself.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 03:48:04 2018 No.12304766

>>12298708
nice meme but im a le epic atheist. just saying, religious discussion and sharing is good for the board and many of those that religious here are quite well-read. as opposed to nonreaders and shitposting/celebrity gossip like making a million threads about fucking taleb, peterson, zizek, or some other nonsense and acting like little girls gushing over their preferred boyband.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 03:48:53 2018 No.12304770 >>12294372 thats a big dog

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 03:49:24 2018 No.12304774 The closer I get to getting a job the less I want one, fuck I hate working

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 04:23:41 2018 No.12304895

terrified i can't write my brain is running wild like a young and retarded animal feels like str8 into walls i am trying to write a story it felt like it was going ok now i'm stuck on how to keep going, suddenly realizing idk if i feel some minor details, rewrote the start a couple times in a notebook, i am trying too hard to figure my own story out like a critic in place of writing and feeling the fucking thing help me

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 04:26:45 2018 No.12304899 I'm your cousin.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 04:27:30 2018 No.12304902 >>12304774 I am physically incapable of obeying people dumber than me for more than a few minutes at a time.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:12:44 2018 No.12305039 [DELETED]

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I love the people I work with. It's not a great job and not something I'm particularly pationate about (although I can't help put effort in), but it's been good enough. We talk shit, have some laughs, and don't have to take anything too seriously. Sometimes I wish people could see through my eyes, and see how great they are.
I enjoy being alone too much for me to do things regularly with them, but it's ok. I see them enough.
I also have been loving 4chan again. For a while now it's been me with a placid facing wading through it all, but I've been engaging more often. /lit/ is still my favorite board, and I love you guys even if you can be retarded sometimes. I'm retarded too.
I'm currently reading through Diary of a Country Priest because of lit. You guys read good books. Cheers boys. Happy new years

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:14:26 2018 No.12305047 >>12305039 y-you too

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:14:53 2018 No.12305049
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I have a confession to make.

I get fantasies about beating up women. When they first came, they were sporadic and a part of a larger pattern where I would fantasize about committing violence whenever I was feeling low or whenever things started to spiral out of control. Violent fantasies have been, for me, a coping mechanism where I'd imagine being in control to escape the fact I really wasn't in my real life.

however, of late my fantasies have been gendered in very specific ways. I now rarely have thoughts about killing people in general, more often than not my violent thoughts feature young, thin, attractive women that I punch in the face to the point of permanent disfigurement.

I do not feel a lot of remorse for fantasizing alone, however I am concerned that one day I might be pushed to the point where I act upon them, and that might get me into jail.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:15:24 2018 No.12305050
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I love the people I work with. It's not a great job and not something I'm particularly passionate about (although I can't help but put effort in), but it's been good enough. We talk shit, have some laughs, and don't have to take anything too seriously. Sometimes I wish people could see through my eyes, and see how great they are.
I enjoy being alone too much for me to do things regularly with them, but it's ok. I see them enough.
I also have been loving 4chan again. For a while now it's been me with a placid face wading through it all, but I've been engaging more often. /lit/ is still my favorite board, and I love you guys even if you can be retarded sometimes. I'm retarded too.
I'm currently reading through Diary of a Country Priest because of lit. You guys read good books. Cheers boys. Happy new years

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:24:14 2018 No.12305078

years after my first relationship ended I'm starting to feel like meeting someone new is a possibility again. but the only person I have any feelings for lives in another continent and sends confusing signals, and the only person in my city who is clearly pursuing me l am not attracted to at all. there are possibilities but they're empty and it seems I'll coast into loneliness or disappointment.
also I'm sick of books

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:27:38 2018 No.12305091 >>12305049 I think most people have violent fantasies, even against a particular gender, even if they won't admit to it and balk at it. I wouldn't sweat it too much. Watch what substances you consume though and how much

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:36:19 2018 No.12305107

>>12305049
if violent fantasies in general come from a feeling of powerlessness, it stands to reason that gendered violence in those fantasies would suggest a gender-specific sort of powerlessness in your life. If those women are young, thin, and attractive as you say, the obvious conclusion is that your mind is returning to a practiced coping mechanism in order to deal with its largest source of stress right now, sexual frustration. You probably feel desperate for romantic or sexual interaction, to the point of reducing all your interactions with women to a process of fishing for it. Which is fairly normal, in the end.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 05:38:50 2018 No.12305111 >>12305050 You type like an Australian.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 07:32:04 2018 No.12305365 >>12304770 For you.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 07:49:52 2018 No.12305397 >>12303595 what do they use for X?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 07:51:46 2018 No.12305398 >>12305397 Xiaomi

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 08:42:02 2018 No.12305518 >>12294372 I'm going to kill myself 1st of January. I've been doing nothing but eating and watching porn for an entire year since I came to terms with my suicide, and I'm finally going to be free.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 08:43:05 2018 No.12305519 >>12305518 Good luck, anon, hope you succeed. A failed suicide is a sure fucking embarrassment.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 08:49:28 2018 No.12305536 >>12305519 I'm not scared of the embarassment as much as about the possibility of ending up crippled or paralyzed. That's why I'm going to step in front of a train.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 09:06:07 2018 No.12305579 >>12305536 Have you thought of drowning yourself or something? With a train you're going to leave an awful mess, not to mention the conductor/passengers will be traumatized.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 09:08:05 2018 No.12305588 >>12305579 I want it to be short and sweet, with no chance of failure.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 10:55:28 2018 No.12305885 >>12305588 why not jump off a building?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 11:09:06 2018 No.12305932 >>12304063 quit it. what are you hanging around for? fear it's fear just fear it's fear fear fear dont fear stop fear eat fear fear kills old fear that fear the first fear fear is all its fear

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 11:10:32 2018 No.12305939 >>12305579 >With a train you're going to leave an awful mess, not to mention the conductor/passengers will be traumatized Sounds pretty based to me. If I ever kill myself I'll make sure to do it in such a way as to make people remember it for decades.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 11:20:46 2018 No.12305964

All this thirst for absolute and unreachable knowledge and power is needed so people can cope with having kids, we high iq people we've been tricked into believing we're better than the average 100iq pleb for having such thirst but we are not ultimately our spirit will be broken and biology will kick in awakening a need to find an answer ultimately leading us to have kids to cope
Is so sad....everything around us is a sadistic joke of nature

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 11:53:24 2018 No.12306095
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Depression post of the day.

Everyone left after Christmas, so I started sleeping again. I bought my medicines but I'm forgetting to take them. Honestly I just don't care that much anymore. I've been drinking or drunk most of the time though, and I've been sneaking shots of anisette without anyone noticing. Being half drunk is so much more peaceful and numbing than antidepressants.
I've been joking around on 4chan but lately I haven't felt like it. Everything seems so incredibly bleak I can't find any humor in it.
That awful tightness in my chest has begun again, I've been trying to have a good heartful cry but I can't get the tears coming. I have terrible headaches. I think something bad is about to happen to my body.
I'm not looking forward to the new year, loud fireworks are already scaring my cat and she's spending most of her time on top of the closet.
Next year I'll be 32, I don't want to get there.

Happy new year, thanks for reading

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 11:54:37 2018 No.12306098

>I think I must have borderline personality disorder because I have consciously constructed personas and no real self and i switch them out depending on who i am around. i spend most of my life trying to fit in with different groups based mostly on shallow things like appearances and performative attitude not because i am vain but because if i can trick others into thinking i am something that is say i am then i can just be that thing

>is this what sartre called the being-for-itself striving through bad faith become the being-in-itself? or do i have BPD? or am i a sociopath? there are things i feel authentically but they are few and mostly inconsequential.

i’m not onto nothing. i am at least not alone. even if we are both delusional- driving ourselves mad down faux psychological rabbit holes, we are not doing so alone, and that points to some larger design being felt out if not fully understood. I think of A—, I wonder if this isn’t something like what has to fight with. I think of imitative behaviors. I think of my semi-chameleon nature, my many personas, my different language before different audiences. it “works” sometimes. often it only makes me paranoid when I notice it, I wonder if others don’t see me doing it, if it isn't so obvious, and so obviously sinful, I wonder if it isn’t some kind of slip up. You can not trust me. I know that. I can’t trust me. I lie to myself more than anybody else. I set traps for myself, I know I do this. Who can trust a man who can't trust himself? I am giving myself a narrative, an alternate world, i am not engaging the world, i am making one anew that works for me. but it's a narrative at this distance I can never see, but it is a lie, with moments of spontaneity and truth scattered throughout, only I can’t remember which is which anymore.

I think again of that lucky old neon, the meaning of whose name I have forgotten completely but which still sits ghostlike on my inner eyes with a perfect mental clarity. I know that lucky old neon, towering so tall it makes me dizzy, I know the call of neon, that impossible pull, that slow slow so slow spinning that lucky old neon that light emitter that low risk low rent low scale being-in-itself that neon that neon that kitschy scrawl that name in big lights that lucky old neon it will never be mine it is nobody’s it is neon.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:12:34 2018 No.12306165

Wer den Leser kennt, der tut nichts mehr für den Leser. Noch ein Jahrhundert Leser – und der Geist selber wird stinken.

Daß jedermann lesen lernen darf, verdirbt auf die Dauer nicht allein das Schreiben, sondern auch das Denken.

Einst war der Geist Gott, dann wurde er zum Menschen, und jetz wird er gar noch Pöbel.

How would one prove to Nietzsche that he is worthy of reading?

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:16:29 2018 No.12306183

>>12306098
I remember the first time I saw someone else mention the "My persona is simply designed around intriguing whoever happens to sit in my audience" and thinking I found someone like me on this site, then days went on, I saw more, and more, and now it's just "Ayy another one."
Remember how smart you felt when you acknowledged that you're not the only one thinking of himself as special? And then you climbed higher. Don't stop now either, climb higher.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:17:06 2018 No.12306185
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>>12305107
There is actually not a lot of "powerlessness" when it comes to gender. I have a girlfriend, I'm having sex, even though I don't love her really and don't see this relationship getting anywhere. I am well liked in social settings, have a good friends circle, keep flirting and keep getting flirted with a decent bit.
I don't think there's any great reason for me to be sexually frustrated like one of those incels.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:17:58 2018 No.12306188 >>12305579 >drowning Nigga that shit hurts like fuck, almost as terrible as freezing to death.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:23:59 2018 No.12306205

>>12306183
where do you go to climb higher? how do you realize this an not feel impossibly dirty? how, in realizing there are many of you around, could you find any sort of solace instead of disgust or fear? why am i this way? it is pathetic to give so much of myself to others. idon't even particularly like others, i suppose i only want to their confidence, their affection, their positive reinforcement.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:35:06 2018 No.12306243

>>12306205
>how, in realizing there are many of you around, could you find any sort of solace instead of disgust or fear?
You're sitting atop a meta bubble of introspection. You should know just fine that from there you can essentially choose to feel about it any way you wish, and then reinforce that opinion until you actually believe i - save for the few moments of full on serenity.

>where do you go to climb higher?
Why it's the same road. Stop indulging in your little mind games of self-referentiality, stop turning in circles. The last time you moved on by acknowledging you weren't as special as you thought, and this time you move on by doing the same.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:43:24 2018 No.12306272 >>12294372 I dislike being disenchanted. I like being enchanted. To be enchanted, you have to go where beauty is and do beautiful things.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 12:56:04 2018 No.12306325
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>>12306188
Not that Anon. I have looked at pistol head wounds and hanging and it's still pretty gruesome, although if you bite down on something when you hang you won't chew off your tongue. I don't want people to see that shit. All that I care about is leaving as little of a mess as possible so people are not traumatized when they see me. Exit bag looks nicer but it doesn't work as reliably
I wish I could just do pic related

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 14:43:15 2018 No.12306907 File: 88 KB, 650x842, 1543898929.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] How does one combat loneliness in the age of techcapital?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 14:51:23 2018 No.12306955 Why is it "imbalance" and not "inbalance"? If the prefix "in-" typically denotes negation. It's as if the phonological ease of pronunciation with "im-balance" takes precedence over the grammar. Lingustics, man. In another life.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 14:58:57 2018 No.12306999 >>12306955 Note: Before certain letters, in- becomes: i- before gn, e.g. ignoble il- before l, e.g. illegal im- before b, m, or p, e.g. improper ir- before r, e.g. irresistible

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:08:26 2018 No.12307042 why do i miss her so much why does she seem so special why do i expect to receive an acknowledgement of my existence from her everyday, even though i know it will never happen when will the pain stop

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:10:48 2018 No.12307058 >>12307042 six to eight months. write some angsty free verse in the mean time

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:12:04 2018 No.12307065 >>12307058 fuck u nigger how do i get her out of my head

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:12:06 2018 No.12307066 >start a new book >read 4-5 chapters >get disinterested, yet still somewhat want to read >stop reading for a week >rinse and repeat Please help what is wrong with me

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:15:56 2018 No.12307091 >>12307065 time, you retard. or find someone else, but it's not going to be easy to replace her in your current mindset. t. was literally making the same posts you're making now a few years back

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:19:30 2018 No.12307113

>>12307091
you are not wrong

replacing her seems quite literally impossible

it's just the moments we've had, i feel that i'll never have with anyone else

i've tried to distract myself but the thoughts and feelings linger, no matter how hard i try to focus on what i'm doing

thank you anon

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:23:43 2018 No.12307132 File: 59 KB, 500x622, 87a245ccfe4a24a19e39725931383d74--cool-beards-awesome-beards.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] i want to grow a big wizard beard

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:25:26 2018 No.12307140 >>12294372 Deeb goncern: Sometimes markets fail to solve a problem and government interventionism is necessary. (Great depression or whatever and so on). Yet if there is no government because it's been slashed and burned...

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:31:35 2018 No.12307169

Women are the ideal vectors of counter-initiation and the culture of narcissism. If you simplify things a lot, they are the biggest "want" in society, they are ubiquitous and impossible to avoid, their faces alone can be used to sell products, they are infinitely varied and always tantalizing so they are difficult to guard against in a single oath (in the way one can at least go "I will never drink alcohol again," and not be tempted by liquor any more than beer or wine). They can be conveniently programmed to have whatever standards you want, so most men will obey those standards and be distorted and degenerated.

This society has effectively programmed women to only be satisfied by bizarre caricatures of masculinity, hypertrophied in strange inhuman ways, with no room for an actual person underneath. Men who "perform" their twisted hyper-masculinity constantly, by being living avatars of success, fame, fortune, power, in the way that the manicured image of a celebrity does, because you never have to see the celebrity's ordinary human side. It's taught women to love living manifestations of only the worst parts of their own unconscious archetypes of ideal masculinity. Those parts are supposed to be there, in the way that men are supposed to have ooga booga jungle lust for vagina dentata archetypical femme fatales or the archetypal jezebel whore who is nothing but living sexuality, but you're not supposed to actually concretize those things and expect them from real human beings.

Because of the economy of sexual desire, any archetypes women project will be unconsciously obeyed by men, who will twist themselves to conform to them. Women now have heads full of rap music, Mad Men-esque caricatures of "perfectly suave, perfectly witty, leader of men, never makes a mistake, never loses composure, reminds me of daddy, taller than me, perfectly built, suit always fits perfectly and never wrinkles" living avatars of masculine charisma. Add to that their addled endocrine systems, which are probably making them ovulate for silverback gorilla dick 24/7. Their unrealistic conscious expectations of wealth and success are only the tip of this massive fucking iceberg.

There is no winning move against this. You can come up with survival strategies, like actually trying to "be yourself," but you will constantly be making at least some concessions in that regard. It's already inherently phony to message fifty girls and say "Haha hey I like The Office too" when you don't even really like The Office. The uglier or shorter you are, the more you have to hide and distort your real self to perform, the more you have to embody weird priapian tropes. And most men think this is normal and good. They think that "correctly embodying the tropes" = "being normal" = "being happy." They create an entire false self, and any chance at having a real self withers in the background.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:39:46 2018 No.12307206

>>12307169
One paragraph in I started rewriting your post in a way that made it target males instead, you know, replacing each feminine mention with its masculine counter part and vice versa, but after two paragraphs I deemed you unworthy of my memery.
But don't let me discourage you from trying again.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:49:38 2018 No.12307278 >>12305049 >>12305091 >>12305107 >>12306185 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuUphbx-Tu0 Just get married. Sanctioned women beating, and she enjoys it too.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:52:30 2018 No.12307288
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You know how you see the world more "clearly" after you have been close to death or saw something traumatic? The first time I felt that way was when I fell down the stairs during winter and almost broke my spine, I had the feeling that everything that is here could slip away, just like I slipped on the black ice on the stairs in that winter. The second time I felt like that was when I read a small paragraph about a woman sucking a pigs dick.

I still don't understand why people do that. I don't understand why people seek to be dominated, I wish I didn't felt that way too.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:52:44 2018 No.12307290 >>12305049 >>12305091 >>12305107 >>12306185 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuUphbx-Tu0 [Embed] Just get married. Sanctioned woman beating, and she enjoys it too.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:53:22 2018 No.12307295 >>12307132 listen to bush music

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:53:30 2018 No.12307297 >>12307132 tfw can't grow a proper beard

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:55:28 2018 No.12307312
File: 49 KB, 638x479, linguistics-hanoi-university-5-638.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12306955
Language evolves in such a way that it will naturally tend to approximate sounds close to each other for minimum effort.
The sound "n" in the word "inside" is a nasal alveolar (you hit your tongue against the bridge of your teeth) followed by a sibilant "s". But in words that have a bilabial plosive like the "b" or "p" in "imbalance" or "impetus" (make those sounds, you do them with your lips) it's easier for that "n" alveolar nasal to change into the bilabial nasal "m"
I hope that explains it

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:55:28 2018 No.12307313 >>12307113 The more time you spend trying to reclaim what was once taken from you, the less you realize what's going out through the door right now.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 15:58:58 2018 No.12307337 >>12307169 Last paragraph is good rest is pretty garbage. On an unrelated note the woman who lives in the unit next to me has taken to playing what I can only assume to be a looped version of the office theme several times a day. What the fuck.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:00:30 2018 No.12307346

I've only recently gotten a sense of perspective on where my family came from and how much I've taken for granted. It turns out, after a lifetime of hearing my parents bitch about taxes and refer to themselves as poor we're actually quite rich, in the top 10% of wealth in Canada. This is a troubling thing to discover. My reflex is, as per tradition, to deep dive into self flagellating Marxism, or maybe to donate everything my parents ever gave me to charity and start over. What else I've come to learn is that my parents are quite dumb and really know very little of the world and then that I am really really dumb and know almost nothing. As it turns out, all that time I spent in highschool thinking I was smarter than my peers I was years and years behind developmentally. I really was worth hating. Probably I still am. I am a pathetic specimen. But the level headed part of me says don't be too rash with the bourgeois guilt. I know at least I need to make a break with this family who has never made me happy, who has always held me back, and who may in a structuralist kind of way be completely fucking evil. 2019 is my year of independence.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:02:28 2018 No.12307357 >>12307346 Don't just throw away your wealth, use it sensibly instead, preferably for community building efforts in whatever area you end up settling down in.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:07:53 2018 No.12307376

>>12307357
I have possessions, but I don't really have any wealth so to speak right now. When my parents die I'm sure I will inherit some. But I want to live a life with dignity. I want to make it by myself, for myself, as silly of a proposition as that might be given the privileges I've been brought up with. Really I just feel this moral debt all of a sudden. It's like an original sin my every move is complacent in. Shitposting on 4chan right now I have done nothing to deserve this leisure or security. I'm part of the problem.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:08:33 2018 No.12307380 File: 22 KB, 400x400, Oi0aFFCA.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] how do i reassure my gf that i'm with her because i actually like her and not out of desperation

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:09:13 2018 No.12307384 >>12307380 Does she have reasons to believe you're with her out of desperation?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:09:43 2018 No.12307388 >>12307380 Why lie?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:11:43 2018 No.12307396 >>12307384 she found something i wrote a year ago about how desperate i was for anybody at all to love me

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:13:20 2018 No.12307404 >>12307396 then ur fukkd kiddo

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:15:43 2018 No.12307423 >>12307396 being desperate for love and being desperate for a sexual relationship are very different things. if your girlfriend can't accept that you want to be with her, she doesn't want to be with you.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:16:04 2018 No.12307425 >>12307396 Pay a bunch of attractive ladies to court you on social media and irl and have screenshots/video recordings of you rejecting them and saying that you only have one woman in your heart. It's 100% not going to backfire

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:19:30 2018 No.12307437 >>12307425 you would just create fake profiles have conversations with yourself

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 16:20:08 2018 No.12307440

There are so many things I need to let go of. Things I wish didn't hurt, but do. I've always been this way. I'm too sensitive. Too obsessive. Too emotional. I can't come up with anything on my own. My life just feels like an accumulation of things I've lost, and can't let go of. I think too much, live too much in my head. Daydream too much. I get so frustrated with myself. I can't go on living this way. I shouldn't be wasting my time thinking about people who surely aren't thinking about me one bit. What I really need to do is put all of my energy and focus into building a productive, meaningful life for myself, and not worry so much about what other people think.

I care far too much about what everyone else is doing. Meanwhile, my own life is passing me by, and I'm getting nowhere. I'm stuck. It's an awful feeling.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 17:05:42 2018 No.12307710 I want to commingle the choirs.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 17:28:20 2018 No.12307839 I took 50 drops of Valium and I should get up from bed to brush my teeth and take my medicines but I'm just too fucking sedated to bother

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 17:58:38 2018 No.12307995

I'm so fucking lonely. No matter how I try to justify it, it still hurts, and whatever I do, it won't stop. I would ask for help, but who do I turn to? Everyone keeps distance, not only with me, but with each other too. Are they just as lonely as I am? Because then we truly are in hell. I shudder at the thought.
I wish people would just smile at each other every now and then. I wish for them to realize that the small mistakes don't actually matter. I wish they would love each other as much as I love them.
I'm just so fucking lonely. And no matter how kind and patient I am with them, no matter how much I listen to them, soothe them, smile at them, help them, nobody ever wants me on their side.
I would just end it all but I'm too much of a pussy to do it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:01:31 2018 No.12308017 File: 134 KB, 1000x563, 1544552312896.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12307440 Are you me?

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:14:38 2018 No.12308079
File: 1.07 MB, 1280x1477, tumblr_o5g3uzAfSI1u5vzw4o1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12294372
I want to live like Varg, a frugal life on the countryside with a traditional family structure... I don't share his political views tho.
The sad thing is that the girls that are into this lifestyle seem to be all reactionary, and seem attracted to the idea as some sort of political statement.
The fact that the attraction fades away when I tell I'm brazilian and they take me for a "mutt mestizo" is also very sad.
Other than these girls, there are the religious ones, but idk
Will I die alone, bros?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:22:41 2018 No.12308112 >>12308079 >idolising a church burning murderer

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:27:56 2018 No.12308138 >>12308112 I just describe it like this because it is easier than typing "living on the countryside trying to be as self suficient as possible, earning money through the internet, raising my kids near nature and near their mom..."

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:45:26 2018 No.12308233

>>12307440
Hello me. Oddly enough I think over the past few weeks the illusion has shattered for me. I don't feel as manically obsessed over girls I used to be into or old friends. Maybe I've finally accepted that they're gone, I don't know. This isn't a "I'm going to live my life to the fullest now :^)" moment though, I'm still idle and trapped in the past. The most content I've felt all week has been looking at pointillist artwork or looking out my window at the way the afternoon light casts pinkish shadows over the snowy trees. I wish I had some motivation to do something, be it study or write or paint or socialize or anything really, but I don't. Maybe in a few days...

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:47:25 2018 No.12308243 >>12307995 Almost everyone is lonely in modern world, I think. Even the normies just have disposable, temporary friendships, for appearance and fear at isolation I imagine.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:50:26 2018 No.12308254 >>12308079 how are white brazilian girls? i wanna fuck one

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 18:52:44 2018 No.12308268 tfw thread hits bump limit right as some interesting posts happen

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 19:09:54 2018 No.12308351 WHY DO WOMEN CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THE GODDAMN TOILET SEAT AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 19:26:19 2018 No.12308464 >>12308254 they're normal

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 19:38:11 2018 No.12308528

>>12307440
Literally me. Seems like many more introverted types have this problem. So many actions of the past creep up in my thoughts to shame me.

I'm one of those guys that used to always be the one reaching out to others after long absences. I've long since stopped and even deleted fb/ig because it's always awkward.

The worst one is this girl I never even got to try things with. Even having had a gf for the past 4 years I still think about her way too often. Maybe it would have turned out to be nothing in the end but I regret not acting on my attraction. I doubt she's given me more than a single fleeting thought over the years.

So many things like this just run through my mind over and over. So stupid and such a waste of what menial mental energy I have.

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 19:46:05 2018 No.12308578

>>12307440
>I'm too sensitive. Too obsessive. Too emotional. I can't come up with anything on my own. My life just feels like an accumulation of things I've lost, and can't let go of. I think too much, live too much in my head. Daydream too much. I get so frustrated with myself.
That's really interesting, you're the exact opposite of me. I don't remember the last time something someone else said got "under my skin," I have no attachment to things, people, or ideas, I've got a portfolio full of written down ideas, move on immediately from failure and am a walking incarnation of "out of sight, out of mind."
I realize this sounds like I'm just jerking myself off over "good" character traits I think I have, but hey, if you listed your own good traits I'd probably be listing my negatives instead.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 19:54:04 2018 No.12308609 >>12308464 are they ugly mutts

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 19:58:56 2018 No.12308638 >>12308578 u sound edgy lol

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:05:05 2018 No.12308667

>>12308609
you're probably baiting, but I'll answer truthfully because I have nothing better to do.
I (a brazilian) like european girls because it's easier to find my type of girl among them (a stern faced, strong woman) but in general brazilian girls are not ugly
There are ugly girls like everywhere, but the mixed races make for very interesting faces
Now excuse me, I'm sad

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:05:37 2018 No.12308672 >>12308638 The fact you put on your lower-case-only persona tells me enough to disregard your post. Come back with an opinion you're man enough to share along with your actual colors.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:09:51 2018 No.12308701 >>12308672 lmao this nigga right here >I don't remember the last time something someone else said got "under my skin," yet reacts like a butt-blasted paranoid faggot kill yourself, you wannabe sociopath edgy scum

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:17:57 2018 No.12308754

>>12308701
>getting buttblasted = having something get under your skin
You sound like an underage kid arguing on YouTube whose favorite counter argument is "Haha you care this much about something not worth caring about" my dude. If I asked you why you wrote in lower-case there despite your previous posts in this thread having been upper-case, would you blue screen on me?

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:20:58 2018 No.12308771

>>12308754
lmao what a paranoid shithead

get a psychiatric evaluation, you might have problems other than sociopathy

keep being edgy and pretending to be a sociopath because it's le cool xD

lmao get fucked nigga, i dont even know what you mean by the lower case shit that was my first post here.

being a sociopath isn't cool, ok sweetie?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:23:33 2018 No.12308789 >>12308771 >ironic use of xD >lmao get fucked nigga >ok sweetie? See, now this is what it means to have something get under your skin. Don't reply to me again or I'll ignore you, and you don't want me to ignore you, buddy.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:25:01 2018 No.12308800 This exchange has been hilarious. And I made sure to use my capitals so you don't confuse me with the other guy.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:25:11 2018 No.12308802 >>12308789 lmao fucking SEETHING

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 20:58:08 2018 No.12308951

>>12308017
>>12308233
>>12308528
>>12308578
Thank you for your replies. I enjoyed reading each one, and it feels good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I would elaborate and perhaps keep the conversation going but I feel as though I've said enough regarding my own troubles.

I wish you all the best of luck in whatever you're currently struggling with.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:06:44 2018 No.12308994 >>12308951 Thank you anon. I wish you luck too.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:14:44 2018 No.12309027 >>12308951 Thanks buddy. Best of luck in 2019

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:24:07 2018 No.12309067
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>>12296510
I think for most people it is just easier to focus on the negatives in their life as opposed to the positives. I guess I can start with myself, this past year some good things that happened to me were:
>had my first real engineering experience
>established some deeper bonds and friendships with people I really enjoy being around and make me happy
>passed all my classes
>am the at the lowest weight I have been at in 7 years
>begun the process of some serious self reflection
>got back into reading
>become more self interested
>still have a family that loves and supports me
>come to terms with some of the things I have done and am

Overall 2018 was a good year, here are some of the things I am hoping for in 2019:
>drop the rest of the weight and make progress towards having a disciplined lifting routine
>graduate uni successfully in december with a job offer
>continue to be myself and go further, not be afraid about being myself
>take more risks when it involves others, be open and emotional
>read more
>play vidya and procrastinate less
>find another hobby
>get serious with language learning
>establish a meditation routine
>continue to eat healthy

As far as right now goes, things are pretty good, the heater near my legs is comfortably warm and being on break is a blessing. Happy Holidays anons.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:33:16 2018 No.12309113 File: 672 KB, 906x799, 1543898972.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12309067 >wanting to get a job instead of dreading it I'll never understand you people

Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:40:11 2018 No.12309135
File: 371 KB, 500x375, tumblr_p0f4a2IuHC1rc0yuao1_500.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12309113
It's not that I want one, its that I need one to to support my plans in the future. I wouldn't work a day in my life if I didn't have to. But I do so, might as well bite the bullet.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:41:27 2018 No.12309143 >>12309135 tfw don't have any plans

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:43:52 2018 No.12309154 >>12309143 do you want plans?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:49:43 2018 No.12309180 >>12309154 I'd like to be motivated to do something at the very least

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 29 21:52:27 2018 No.12309192 >>12309180 having something I wanted did that for me. i find having a simple one or an outrageous one are the best goals that work for me. see what works for you. what do you want anon?

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/lit/ - Literature