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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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1224558 No.1224558 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: Convert the above poster's sentence into 16th century english, then supply your own sentence to be converted.

>> No.1224564

ITT: nigger

>> No.1224565

>>1224564

Niggeth

>> No.1224567

OP is a sodomite.

>> No.1224582

Rap music FTW.

>> No.1224583

the Original Poster commites actes of somdomie

>> No.1224585

>>1224567
That man who first bringeth this knowledge hath lain by men.

>> No.1224590

no guys your doing it wrong

>> No.1224595

>>1224590
My fellow brethren, your way with these matters is not the right one.

>> No.1224600

A good idea, but this is /lit/ bro.

We're lazy as fuck.

>> No.1224601

>>1224582
Verily, music of the word shews true virtue.

>> No.1224605

>>1224600
fuck you son

im indexing sir walter raleigh as we speak

>> No.1224615 [DELETED] 

>>1224600
A goodly idea, yet the soil is not fitting.

>> No.1224622

>>1224590
Ho! Bretheren, you are not sufficiently completing this task

>> No.1224634

>>1224564

This thread herein lies negro, verily.

>> No.1224672

Happy birthday my little son. My little 28 year old son.

Well you weren't born by now because you were born about 5 o'clock in the morning.

I do hope you have a lovely day.

I hope your card came.

>> No.1225351

>>1224672
you just killed the thread

>> No.1225381

>>1225351
thou slain and rested the good word!

>> No.1225547

today i dint eat breakfast

>> No.1225557

>>1225547
This morn', I neglected to eat soon after rising.

>> No.1225579

Unfortunately, I cant come out tomorrow because the buses dont run at the times you gave me.

>> No.1225607

>>1225579

'Tis a quirk of Fortune much to be lamented, that I shall have no more part in the morrow's entertainment than your mother's husband in your getting, for those dread carriages which lately befoul the town's centre ne'er go abroad a minute after midnight, at which time our revels should be by your reckoning but scarcely begun.

Lately I've been playing a lot of videogames.

>> No.1225637

>>1225607
in recent time i spent my time entretining myself with the electronic gammon

i need a new shirt but i dont have money

>> No.1225660

A cat and a dog and a mouse sang a song about being friends and getting along; they weren't taught by their mothers that they shouldn't like the others, so none of them knew it was wrong.

>> No.1225670

Bitches aint shit but hoes n tricks.

>> No.1225870

>>1225670
pleasure dames are always prostitutes and evildoers

>> No.1225882

>>1225637

I have great need of a new-spun shift, but lack the ducats for procurement of't.

>> No.1225898

>>1225660

CATCH:

Greymalkin and Sweetheart and Musculus-Mus
All sang they this catch: "Heigh-ho! Three of us
Boon-companions who be
In fair amity!
For ne'er did my dam
Instruct me I am
Born to thy sworn enmity!

Sing heigh-ho sing fiddle-de-dee!

SWEETHEART (burden): Bow-wow-wow

Sing heigh-ho! Sing fiddle-de-dee!

>> No.1225998

dude, that movie sucks

>> No.1226021

I'm using my computer to fap to some porn, while easting a cheese sandwich.

>> No.1226113

>>1226021
i am using my electronic bibliotec to self-satisfy my carnal need throu sinner images, at the same time enjoyning a meal of meat and chees among bread

>> No.1226130

this thread: so much win

sorry that i don't speak 16th c or i'd help out.

>> No.1226132

>>1226021

>I'm using my computer to fap to some porn, while easting a cheese sandwich.

Whenceupon my member I relentlessly frig, hither and thither, causing much carnal pleasure, while I feast upon meal of cheese and bread at once.

>> No.1226139

>>1226130
this discussion is an unprecedent marvel

i may apologize myelf that i dont speak the kings english or else i will contribuite

>> No.1226200

­

>> No.1226240

>>I'm using my computer to fap to some porn, while easting a cheese sandwich.

Lo, strange alembics and spagyrical apparati do conjure forth lewd spectres of wenches in rut, before mine eyes, while I with one hand do toy with mine bauble, and with the other claps curds twixt slabs of bread.

>> No.1226250

>>1224590
whenst souls mistaketh thine for thou and thou for thine, a hellfire raisith within

>> No.1226254

>>1226250
grammar crusader!

>> No.1226268

>>1226254
Hush, for we are all damned.

>> No.1226421

im bored but i dont want to clean

>> No.1226560

>>1226421

A noisome acedia hath descended upon my spirit: no man can make me lift the hussif's broom.

>> No.1226698

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

>> No.1226777

>>1226698
So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
what that nigh with a fair maiden fornicating under consent of the king, but a carrier pidgeon bringeth thou a sealed parchment. "be merciful, for thine mistress is daughter to another" thou puzzle over this with thine maiden, but the wench protest "thine father has passed into gods hands" whose hands fastened the parchment to thy pidgeon?

>> No.1226836

Clipping one's leman in the ingle-nook and bussing her heartily, when list! A call comes from without the casement. "Strewth" you swear, "who is't?" "What dost thou with mine child, sirrah?" returneth the voice, darkling.

Taking thy leman in thy arms again, you relate the event. "But my noble sire hath perished!" she expostulates.

Then what unhallowed spirit, unhoused from its charnel dwelling, did at the casement call?!?!

>> No.1226887
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1226887

this thread is epic, must be archived

>> No.1226991

bumpinggggggggg

>> No.1227004

>>1226887
>>1226991

Nigger, they said.

>> No.1227011

>>1227004
niggereth they say, wonders thay talk

>> No.1227047

>>this thread is epic, must be archived

Sooth the very skein itself is the semblance of Vergil his Aeneis, and begs be kept i'th'eternal book and volume of memory's treasure store, wherein Time himself doth secret alms for oblivion.

>> No.1227178
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1227178

>>1227047

>> No.1227179

I came home from work early to eat potato skins and drink for a few hours.

This thread has distracted me from that task.

>> No.1227195

>>1227179

Eftsoons I hastened back from my employ afore th'appointed hour, to play the tosspot for a space and sup upon the peelings of earth-apples, yet this Ariadnean trail hath kept me from such ministrations!

>> No.1227348

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world.

>> No.1227353

if you're having girl problems i feel bad for you son, iv'e got 99 problems but a bitch aint one.

>> No.1227391

bumping an awesome thread

>> No.1227395

>>1227353
it may be ye that be afflict'd with the troubls of sum guttyr wench perhap, thoust were my favour'd sonn, ay'd possessth ye pitee. Thoust sincerest maye possesseth ninetee-nine conflictiones but surely, a bitche dog of a wench is not one of them!

- that was hard

>> No.1227406

Oh man, I can't translate these with any degree of hilarity but I just want you bros to know that you have made me lol.

>> No.1227421

>>1227348

>Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world.

Hark! Thou lover of men, ye who lay beside a man as a woman, thou mound of sticks, thou!

John

- Well, I tried.

>> No.1227852

>>1227348
hello sodomites

my name is johan and i oppose to every sigle one of your individual actions. you are whide in size, living in ignorance, fools who spend tier time admirateing talentless pieces, tou are the sinners that doom the world

>> No.1227865

>>1227406

Verily, in myne scribe's hand, 'tis but a titter I can long to muster. Come what may, I commend thee, noble companions, for your rousal of the comic muse within myne very soul.

>> No.1227937

dude, my girlfriend left me

>> No.1228786

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world.

>>1227348

Ye Sinners of Sodom, hark ye well, I am yclept Johannes Fac-Totum, and much loathing doe I bear for ye one and all. Great whoreson round laggards, simple as mute stones, uncouth and unkist, who do squitter away thine hours in lewd contemplation of woodcuts vain and vile. Radix malorum estis VOS.

>> No.1228821
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1228821

>>1228786

>> No.1228835
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1228835

>>1228786

>> No.1228839

posting in epic thread

>> No.1228875

Okay, so we can take contemporary english and move it back into the sixteenth century but can we take middle english and bring it forward in time? Lines from Pearl for your pleasure.

Sythen in that spote hit fro me sprange,
Ofte haf I wayted, wyschande that wele,
That wont was whyle devoyde my wrange
And heven my happe and al my hele.

>> No.1228878

Put my dick inside your mouth. Try to fit my whole dick and nuts inside your mouth.

>> No.1228884

>>1228875

Sythen in that spote hit fro me sprange,
Ofte haf I wayted, wyschande that wele,
That wont was whyle devoyde my wrange
And heven my happe and al my hele.

Just chill the fuck out bro - I've been there and done that and sometimes its a hit and miss but in the end it all works out.

>> No.1229103

>>1228878
i place my phallus inside your mouth. take a chance to place my enteir cod inside your mouth.

>> No.1229248

>Just chill the fuck out bro - I've been there and done that and sometimes its a hit and miss but in the end it all works out.

Possess thyself of an hyperborean sang-froid, my brother-in-arms: for I too have tilted in those selfsame lists, and whether thou bearest the blow solid on the cuirass and remain unhorsed, or whether thou topple from thy tower like a villein with blood on thy crown for motley, 'tis as the Spaniard has it: pocas palabras, and he that but endureth to the end shall be redeem'd.

>> No.1229305

>>1228878

>In faith, feast on my potato finger.
>Thou shalt find its sustenance, and my cod,
>Too large for small appetites. Now go to't!

The president has been kidnapped by ninjas.
Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?

>> No.1229315
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1229315

>>1229248

>> No.1229339
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1229339

THIS IS THE BEST THREAD EVER

>> No.1229353

>ITT: Convert the above poster's sentence into 16th century english, then supply your own sentence to be converted.

O, this page herein, transform hither neighboring speech to language of the past. Transformed and entered thither, thou do well to utter a speech of thy own, of words most fitting.

>> No.1229355

>The president has been kidnapped by ninjas.
>Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?

Good my lord, a confraternity of Rosicrucians, vizarded and cloaked in cimmerian black, have ta'en his highness the King of Sicily by force of arms! But hast thou now the manly puissance to wrest him from their gripe?


somebody want to try this?

When it comes to hitting ass I'm a striver: I'll use my dick to fight a war so there won't be no survivor---Call me the Nine Point Fiver! Cause I'm the sugar dick, the Sugar Dick Daddy Mr Lawng, of the Black Sheep here to point out what's wrong...

>> No.1229360

It aint hard to tell
I excel
The mic is contracted
I attract clientele

>> No.1229361

I keep it on the down-low, just like a terrorist;
Planning out the illest shit, but always keep it errorless.
Running 'round town scalping old folks with butter-knifes;
No regards for nothin', we all live on the gutter life.

>> No.1229375

>It aint hard to tell
>I excel
>The mic is contracted
>I attract clientele


'Tis in itself simplicity to discern my excellence, high-hung as the nitent polestar itself: this Roscian mask through which I speak in a voice most musical and enlarged is in itself the sworn indenture that summons gecks and gulls.


We're no strangers to love: you know the rules and so do I. A full committment's what I'm thinking of, you wouldn't get this from any other guy.

>> No.1229456

I have a feeling that all the really good posts in this thread are coming from the same person.

So, whoever you are, I applaud you.

>> No.1229520

How does one learn to rock the 16th century mic?

>> No.1229821

>>1229520

It's basically pastiche. Which is probably the best "creative writing" exercise that anyone can do. In this case, you do it by reading a lot of Shakespeare and remembering the archaic words and constructions.

I mean, in the posts I wrote there's usually a phrase here and there from somewhere in Shakespeare. "Alms for oblivion" is from Troilus and Cressida; "whorseson round" is Henry IV Part I; I could keep admitting what I'm pilfering from but that would be telling secrets.

That being said, there's also some AMAZING weird writing from the same time period that's not Shakespeare. Like Thomas Nashe, or Sir Thomas Browne. It just gives you the weird flavor of all the strange things you could do with the language in that era.

>> No.1230071

>>1229361
Mine affairs are clandestine, as a knave keeps
Mine plots art conceiv'd without blemish
With a bare bodkin I steal into night and pilfer old men their specie,
All business of King and country concern me not, I am but a thief

>> No.1230100
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1230100

Yes, I do.

>> No.1230119
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1230119

>>1225882

I keep on communicating by awesome faces, so I forgot how to speak.

>> No.1230162

do me do me
16th century english is AWESOME

>> No.1230205

middle and early modern english is gay, badass pure germanic old english/anglo saxon is the shit.

Næs hie ðære fylle gefean hæfdon,
manfordædlan, þæt hie me þegon,
symbel ymbsæton sægrunde neah;
ac on mergenne mecum wunde
be yðlafe uppe lægon,
sweordum aswefede, þæt syðþan na
ymb brontne ford brimliðende
lade ne letton. Leoht eastan com,
beorht beacen godes;

>> No.1230239
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1230239

this thread is the reason why I love /li/

>> No.1230428

bump

>> No.1230586
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1230586

>>1230205

>> No.1230618

>We're no strangers to love: you know the rules and so do I. A full committment's what I'm thinking of, you wouldn't get this from any other guy.


Sweet Cupid hath made both our acquaintance, and prick'd us for his sport, in which we two gamesters ken well the regle-de-jeu. And when to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon the lofty imago of wedlock eternal both mind and soul, then verily I say: such boon thou wouldst not find bestowed upon thee by any mere rustic Colin-Clout.

>> No.1230636
File: 232 KB, 576x730, renaissance lady and man.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1230636

Saved this old pasta of the Guido post

Lo timid boys,

I am the one call'd after John, and I hate your whole compn'y. You are full, dim, sans raison d'etre! You count the seconds by fruitless decadence in the parlour. You are the whole of Satan's fruits on God's fair plane. Speak true, have but one of you courted a lady? I intend to reason that compensation for woes by the attack of another man is delightful, true, but it is your opiate! This be lower than stalking maidens in your lord's fief.

Speak me true and brotherly! Let fly your greatest arrow. I am like unto a god. I was champion in the tournaments and my collection of games' heads is modestly impressive. What talents have you, outside of "lecherous and deplorable favouring for Oriental maidens"? I excel in mine tutelage and have in mine arm the fairest of them all (She hath recited me a melody on mine own flute, t'was transcendental). You are all unto the vilest of Athens' courtesans who might do best to fall on your swords, had you any. I thank you for your ears.

Portrait Related: Tis me and mine Lady.

>> No.1231034

>>1229821

Much appreciated!

>> No.1231355

­

>> No.1231903

Bump!

Sorry I mean: hillock!

>> No.1232275

Recommend some 16th century literature.